March 20, 2010
— Jack M. An Open Letter to the House of Representatives from the United States Senate,
Dear Revolutionary Comrades in the House of Representatives,
How. Do. You. Like. Me. Now?
With the dropping of DemonPass, order has been restored. Once again, it is the Senate's way or the highway. Which is only fair, since my Appropriations Committee does a better job of funding highways than yours does anyway (which is why my requests typically prevail in conference committee).
As it was in the beginning, so shall it be in the end. It is not for nothing that I am the "upper chamber." I am the Master of the Universe. To put it in terms that even you can understand...I have the Power of Grayskull. You fetch Skeletor's juice boxes.
For, you see, no one on this side of the Hill takes you seriously. How could they? I am the body from which future Presidents emerge. You are the body from which Dennis Kucinich wages a constant battle against the mind control rays of Planet Nebulon Alpha VI.
In fact, were it not for how precious your antics are, I might not even keep you around at all! Sure...revenue bills have to originate within your body, but, c'mon, it's not like I was ever gonna have a problem with raising taxes over here anyway.
No...it's your insistance that you should be allowed to prevail on matters of policy that is truly amusing. Did you really think your trifling concerns on the health care bill were ever going to override mine?
After all, the founders didn't even trust you bozos to have a hand in approving nominees or ratifying treaties! In modern lingo, our Parents refused to give you the keys to the car. You will forever be counting on your more responsible big brother in the Senate to give you a ride to get to where you want to go.
Which I will be more than happy to do. Provided there isn't anything good on TV, and you cough up the gas money.
I know it has to hurt. You threw your cute little tantrum, got your panties all in a twist, and held your breath until you turned blue.
Well, I heard you did this. Truth be told I really didn't notice. It was fajita day in the Cloakroom, and pretty much all I could concentrate on was salsa, salsa, salsa!
But in the end, you are left without a say. You now have to pass the Senate's much better, wiser, and gosh darn it, handsome, legislation (which, in another sign of your penchant for adolescent, emo rage you hate) if you wish to proceed further on health care.
"But the unions hate the Cadillac tax!" you shout. Oh, you'll have time to win them over before you are up for election.
Oh that's right...you have to stand for election in November while 2/3's of the Dems in the Senate don't face voters for several more years. When you have a full 6 year term (they give anyone who is important at least 4 years) it's easy to lose track of time.
By the way, I keep meaning to ask this. Why are you hitting yourself? Do you like to hit yourself? You really should stop hitting yourself. What do you mean I am hitting you? I'm just standing in front of you, waving your arms around. It's your clenched fists hitting your goofy face that you refuse to move out of the way! Do you enjoy pain?
I digress. You have to go on record on our legislation now. Your proposed changes? Never gonna see the light of day. Well, that's not true. I may print them out and hang them on the refrigerator. Right next to the "executive order" made out of macaroni and glue that President Obama is reportedly considering giving you during recess.
You see, like your proposed changes, executive orders are just the cutest little things! They are like the finger-painting of the starfish you made, which I pointed out looked just like a turkey. "No", you insisted, "today it's a starfish!" "But it's an outline of your hand,"I said, "it looks more like a turkey!"
And then the neighbors came over, and they looked at the refrigerator. And they said "isn't that a cute Turkey!" and I said "it sure is" because I was ashamed to be associated with such a crappy piece of "art". Why do you bring such shame upon the family?
The important thing, tho, is that every time the neighbors look at the "painting" they see a turkey. And they always will, thanks to me.
Which reminds me. Remember that time you stayed up all night drawing a 1/1000 representation of the Capitol Mall on the Etch of Sketch, and before you could show it to anyone we erased it. Sure, you cried. But I laughed. So I deem that a good time was had by all.
See, who says I don't pay attention to what you little guys get up to over there.
Now be good little Representatives and follow my lead once again. Sure, people will wonder how you could vote for something you hate, but you can just tell them "because the Senate is smarter and better at legislatin' and stuff" and they will certainly understand.
Or stand up for yourselves and vote our Senate bill down. Maybe, just maybe, you could force me to start all over.
HAHAHAHAHHAH. As if. Once a red headed step-child, always a red-headed step child.
Love ya lots, lil'bro. Now fetch me a juice box.
Your Better,
Posted by: Jack M. at
11:36 AM
| Comments (70)
Post contains 949 words, total size 5 kb.
Posted by: Chris R at March 20, 2010 11:38 AM (AO4qz)
Posted by: stuiec at March 20, 2010 11:39 AM (W+GYq)
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at March 20, 2010 11:40 AM (zgZzy)
Posted by: Angela at March 20, 2010 11:41 AM (uXLmK)
Anyone remember the sick feeling they had when it came down to one of 3 senators to be the next president?
Since early 2008 we knew that either McCain, Clinton, or Obama would be Bush's successor. A senator. A supreme douche bag. An individual so out-of-touch, so arrogant, so ignorant, they would be counted upon to do only the wrong thing, make the worst choice for the country.
Posted by: This is Mr Positive! at March 20, 2010 11:41 AM (JY1gZ)
wrong stuiec. the House can either vote yes or no on the Senate bill. if they vote no, we relax for awhile. if they vote Yes, the bill goes to Bambi where he will sign it into law.
just what part of the SEnate not wanting to dive in these shark infested waters do you not understand? there may be a whole pile of "fixes" sent over to the Senate. the senate has not acted on about 80% of what the House has already sent them this term so why would they get excited now?
the Senate passed this bill from the get go. they do. not. want. to. get. involved. with. this. nat'l. outrage. again.
Posted by: kelley in virginia at March 20, 2010 11:42 AM (Oan2w)
Posted by: kelley in virginia at March 20, 2010 11:44 AM (Oan2w)
Posted by: Z Ryan at March 20, 2010 11:45 AM (cMo6P)
But they can get around that by simply amending an already passed House bill that has no revenue in it.
Like the Dec health care bill they want the House to pass now. .
Posted by: Vic at March 20, 2010 11:45 AM (QrA9E)
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at March 20, 2010 11:46 AM (9Cooa)
Posted by: I can't wait till November at March 20, 2010 11:47 AM (4XzsU)
Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at March 20, 2010 11:47 AM (J46Fi)
So Obama is heading to the hill now. Either they are going to pass it today or he is going over to try to get the house to pass the senate bill and assure them that the senate will be "held responsible" to make the house amendments part of it.
Or some other big LIE
Posted by: dagny at March 20, 2010 11:48 AM (EF8Kp)
Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at March 20, 2010 11:50 AM (J46Fi)
Posted by: tdpwells at March 20, 2010 11:52 AM (Ei3oZ)
I haz noo theory.
I think what is happening is Peelosi is getting tentative Yes's. In other words, a lot of the Maybe's are saying okay I'll vote for it IF YOU ABSOLUTELY NEED ME.
None of the Maybe's will really commit to being Yes's until the others jump in. So that's why the Democrats DO kinda have the votes, but won't take a vote.
Posted by: This is Mr Positive! at March 20, 2010 11:52 AM (JY1gZ)
The Wicked Witch has to pass the Senate POS. That's some strong leadership, there, Nancy.
Posted by: Pavel at March 20, 2010 11:56 AM (1jazK)
Love it. It's the NASA guy. He won't stop talking about his so-called integrity & the chair keeps telling him to stop talking.
Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at March 20, 2010 11:57 AM (J46Fi)
Posted by: gomm at March 20, 2010 11:58 AM (Ibk1S)
@19: The line is that it's "Revenue Neutral" so it can originate in the Senate.
Everyone that's ever balanced a checkbook knows different, but no one wants to address the elephant in the room.
Posted by: Lone Marauder at March 20, 2010 11:58 AM (p1iaB)
http://tinyurl.com/yd32uec
http://tinyurl.com/yc6eabl
Do the Dems even know what's in this bill? They seem to care more about just passing something than what's in this thing. Now, they have to subject their plan to a Senate vote. Orrin Hatch, of all people, said that "it's nuts" for the Dems to try to foist this on the Senate. What's the endgame between Nan & Reid here?
Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at March 20, 2010 12:01 PM (J46Fi)
Posted by: Miss'80sBaby
No, they don't know! Have you heard their new talking point? "This isn't a vote on the specific bill, it's a vote on whether there should be reform or no reform." They know this bill fucking sucks, and are trying to change the idea of what the vote is on.
Posted by: Z Ryan (done watching his language) at March 20, 2010 12:04 PM (cMo6P)
Not true, it raises taxes so it must originate in the House. They got around that by amending an already passed House bill to add the health scam mess.
What the House will be voting on technically is a "re-vote" on the amended bill.
Personally this is a transparent dodge to get around the Constitution which would not last 5 seconds in a real Supreme Court that didn't have 4 jackasses and a donkey on it.
Posted by: Vic at March 20, 2010 12:05 PM (QrA9E)
Posted by: Z Ryan at March 20, 2010 12:05 PM (cMo6P)
Posted by: Lone Marauder at March 20, 2010 12:07 PM (p1iaB)
Posted by: Major Kong at March 20, 2010 12:08 PM (ky1qB)
wrong stuiec. the House can either vote yes or no on the Senate bill. if they vote no, we relax for awhile. if they vote Yes, the bill goes to Bambi where he will sign it into law.
Posted by: kelley in virginia at March 20, 2010 03:42 PM (Oan2w)
The House can also introduce amendments to the Senate bill before voting on it and sending it back to the Senate. If the House amends it, then one of four outcomes will happen:
1) The Senate votes on it exactly as returned by the House - but subject to regular rules of debate, including the filibuster.
2) The Senate amends it (again, under risk of filibuster) and sends it to the House again.
3) The bill goes to a conference committee for negotiation of a conference report, which then has to be passed -- unamended and under filibuster rules -- by both the House and Senate.
4) The Senate abandons the battle.
Pelosi, Reid and Obama will never, NEVER abandon the battle until they are carried off the field on their shields.
Reid will not put the bill to another vote if there's a risk of it being killed with amendments on the Senate floor.
So a conference committee is his only hope, slim as it is.
Posted by: stuiec at March 20, 2010 12:08 PM (W+GYq)
Posted by: dfbaskwill at March 20, 2010 12:13 PM (ndlFj)
How wonderful. Let's just pass something, because we have to or people will die. It doesn't kick in for a few years! It's not like people are going to start dropping dead if this thing doesn't pass. [Though they will if or once it is.] Bunch of f'ing commies.
Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at March 20, 2010 12:15 PM (J46Fi)
Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at March 20, 2010 03:50 PM (J46Fi)
The rest of Article I section 7 that you've left out says "but the Senate may propose or concur
with
amendments as on other Bills."
Which is why what we call "the Senate bill" is actually a bill that started in the House that the Senate added its whole bill to as an amendment in the nature of a substitute. It was a House bill that was already in the Senate's possession that they regarded as a convenient vehicle. This is not unconstitutional since, as I just noted, the Constitution expressly provides for it.
Posted by: Dave J. at March 20, 2010 12:15 PM (DCQ0q)
Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at March 20, 2010 12:17 PM (J46Fi)
Posted by: Iamnotanalcoholic at March 20, 2010 12:18 PM (5rFsg)
See above. The same constitutional provision that requires revenue bills to originate in the House expressly allows the Senate to amend those bills just like any other bills.
Posted by: Dave J. at March 20, 2010 12:18 PM (DCQ0q)
Keep in mind that a vote to appoint conferees is itself subject to a filibuster, so the Senate may not even be able to join in convening a conference on this thing.
Posted by: Dave J. at March 20, 2010 12:21 PM (DCQ0q)
So many rules, too many ways to get around them. It's getting confusing what is & isn't allowed anymore.
Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at March 20, 2010 12:21 PM (J46Fi)
But the Senate bill will have been passed, and it will go to the President for signature. That may be all they ever do pass, in which case the amendments are not worth a damn. The problem raised in the post is really just another way of saying that the House needs to face up to the reality that it will be passing the Senate bill, unamended, and that will be signed by the President.
Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at March 20, 2010 12:23 PM (J46Fi)
See above. The same constitutional provision that requires revenue bills to originate in the House expressly allows the Senate to amend those bills just like any other bills.
But doesn't the bill have to have identical language coming from both houses before the president can sign it?
Posted by: Iamnotanalcoholic at March 20, 2010 12:24 PM (5rFsg)
They did. When they did, the House bill was sent to the Senate, and there it stays, waiting in the Senate's possession, until the Senate either does something with it or it dies at the end of the current Congress in January 2011. The Senate could take up the House bill at any time: now that the R's have enough votes to filibuster it, and any amendments to it, they won't.
Posted by: Dave J. at March 20, 2010 12:25 PM (DCQ0q)
Bring it, you Dem fools. This summer is going to be so much fun. We are going ream you with lawsuits, tax revolt, insurance revolt and vote your asses out of office this fall.
Posted by: Meremortal at March 20, 2010 12:26 PM (F5BBI)
But the Senate bill will have been passed, and it will go to the President for signature. That may be all they ever do pass, in which case the amendments are not worth a damn. The problem raised in the post is really just another way of saying that the House needs to face up to the reality that it will be passing the Senate bill, unamended, and that will be signed by the President.
Maybe that why the president has rushed over to the capital building, so if they pass the senate bill, he can sign right there, and then they immediately vote on the amendments and he signs those.
Posted by: Iamnotanalcoholic at March 20, 2010 12:28 PM (5rFsg)
"But doesn't the bill have to have identical language coming from both houses before the president can sign it?"
Yes: hence the ping-pong between the chambers. What we're calling "the Senate bill" originated as an unrelated bill that was passed by the House and sent to the Senate. The Senate amended it and sent it back to the House, with the usual message asking for the other chamber to concur in the amendments or appoint conferees. If the House passes it without amendments, it will have passed both chambers in identical form and will be an "enrolled bill" that can be sent to the President: if the House amends it and then passes it, it goes back to the Senate again.
Posted by: Dave J. at March 20, 2010 12:29 PM (DCQ0q)
That was intended to be for amending a House bill on revenue. If they intended for what they are doing to be legal there would have been no need for the requirement to begin with and the entire paragraph becomes "useless".
The only "useless" paragraph in the Constitution is the preamble and that was not written by the whole convention or voted on by them. It was added after the fact by the committee on style.
Posted by: Vic at March 20, 2010 12:31 PM (QrA9E)
The Maine sisters will prevent the filibuster, you mean? Or they don't have the guts to filibuster?
Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at March 20, 2010 12:31 PM (J46Fi)
Posted by: Andy Rand at March 20, 2010 12:31 PM (mhD2v)
But doesn't the bill have to have identical language coming from both houses before the president can sign it?
Posted by: Iamnotanalcoholic at March 20, 2010 04:24 PM (5rFsg)
YES.
The only way for the Dems to pass this thing without risking a filibuster by the 41 Senate Republicans is for House to pass the existing Senate bill unamended.
And if the House doesn't want to vote for the Senate's bill unamended, it will have to amend it, now that Pelosi has abandoned the fiction of Demon Pass.
And if the House amends the bill, then it goes back to the Senate under the regular rules of debate, including the filibuster.
Posted by: stuiec at March 20, 2010 12:35 PM (W+GYq)
"The Maine sisters will prevent the filibuster, you mean? Or they don't have the guts to filibuster?"
No, I mean if the Senate took up the House bill, which they presently have in their possession, the Republicans would have the 41 votes they need to filibuster it. Which is why it will never come to the Senate floor in the first place, and why it's the House that's having to go first.
Posted by: Dave J. at March 20, 2010 12:35 PM (DCQ0q)
Posted by: Iamnotanalcoholic at March 20, 2010 12:36 PM (5rFsg)
Or...
If the bill passes the House tomorrow, it ____.
If it doesn't pass, it ____.
Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at March 20, 2010 12:39 PM (J46Fi)
Even if there is judicial power to inquire whether a provision in a duly promulgated act of Congress raising revenue originated in the House of Representatives in accordance with Art. I, § 7 of the Constitution, it is sufficient if it appears that it was an amendment in the Senate to an act that originated in the House; and, after the act has been enrolled and duly authenticated, the court will not inquire whether the amendment was or was not outside the purposes of the original bill.
Posted by: Vic at March 20, 2010 12:43 PM (QrA9E)
Which is why one expansion of judicial power I'd actually approve of would be a "single-subject" amendment to the US Constitution. Most state constitutions have such provisions, requiring that bills passed by the state legislature be "limited to a single subject" or similar language. It prevents, to some extent, gargantuan bills full of riders and earmarks unrelated to their purported purpose.
Posted by: Dave J. at March 20, 2010 12:57 PM (DCQ0q)
It would take an article 5 convention to get that in there with the crap-weasels we have in Congress now. I have reached the point where I think that we do need one of those because, even with the potential for harm that it would give, what is going on now is much worse.
Especially if the convention works under the similar rules for the last one in which each State only gets "one" vote on accepting the wording of each paragraph.
Posted by: Vic at March 20, 2010 01:06 PM (QrA9E)
I will give head to ANY Senator...including Barbwa Boxer in return for their promise to vote for health care reform.
Call me, I'm available.
Posted by: Bwaney Fwank at March 20, 2010 02:38 PM (zMVot)
From this I deduce that Jack M. is either Eddie Haskell or Wayne Arnold.
Posted by: flan at March 20, 2010 03:03 PM (WaT0k)
@11: "Republican Senators keep saying (with bravado) "bring it" & we'll name names & we'll shred it & we'll filibuster it."
Sorry, can you please? History is on line 2.....
Posted by: The Maine Sisters at March 20, 2010 04:04 PM (8MuSQ)
@47: "We are going ream you with lawsuits, tax revolt, insurance revolt and vote your asses out of office this fall."
Then the entire economy falls apart once and for all on your watch, you get booted out forever, and we add cap&trade and amensty, too. When, not if, when this passes, it's mate for you in two, no matter what you do.
Love and kisses,
The Donks.
Posted by: The Democrat Party at March 20, 2010 04:14 PM (8MuSQ)
Posted by: A7TAJK at May 23, 2010 12:52 AM (abfEl)
Posted by: laptop battery at September 26, 2010 01:44 AM (gP21m)
Posted by: New Era Hats at July 12, 2011 06:31 PM (UUuBd)
Hide Comments | Add Comment | Refresh | Top
64 queries taking 0.2021 seconds, 198 records returned.
Powered by Minx 1.1.6c-pink.








Indeed.
Posted by: This is Mr Positive! at March 20, 2010 11:38 AM (JY1gZ)