1 That's the funniest damn thing he has ever done!

Bravo Artie.  I  hope you put it on YouTube.

2 Not a red letter day for Artie.

3 That's too bad.

4 Ace, bringing the snark with the open html color tag. Cold.

5 This is what happens when federal policies restrict the ready availability of firearms.

6 Yikes.

Good thing for him he was a convict and couldn't get a gun.

7 Why is this shit not on the sidebar instead?

8 I feel bad for him. I heard he's going through a rough time.

9 This is what happens when federal policies restrict the ready availability of firearms.

Heh!

10 His comic genius comes out in this part:

Lange sustained six "hesitation wounds" and three deep plunges.


A hack would have gone straight to the "deep plunges", but Lange knew to build up to the punch line!

A real artiste!

11
hahahaha, some joker last year put up an Artie Lange 1967-2008 vid tribute "just in case."

vid here

Well, I thought it was funny last year when I favorited it. But I'm a sick fuck.

12

Maybe if I knew who Artie Lang is...maybe I would care...

...maybe

I listened to Stern once years back and thought "So this is what the King of Idiots would sound like"

..don't get the appeal

13 This guy is a failure at every thing.

14

When more details come to light, we will discover the impetus behind this tragic deed, the lack of a single payor government funded health care program.

15

Who. Freaking. Cares.  Howard Stearn is one sick individual and a symptom of one of the country's main problems.  Moral decay.  And those who have read my comments for a while know I'm not exactly a religious zealot but I can recognize facts when they jump up and kick me in the face.  The people that listen to him, I would almost bet my mortgage, are 80% + libs. At least social libs, ie imo squishes.

16 #6 (mine).

Its not snark.

I'm an infrequent listener, and I distinctly remember hearing Lange say one time that he wished he could have a gun, but couldn't on account of his criminal record.

Stern (who actually carries a concealed Seecamp. . .or used to in the pre-Bloomberg days when NYC let celebrities do that sort of thing) said that thought that with Lange's history of substance abuse, maybe he'd be better off without one.

FWIW, Lange is probably the closest thing the Stern show has to an on-air conservative.  The others (Robin Quivers, Gary DellAbate, Fred Norris) are reliably liberal in their outlook.

17 That dude is nuts!  That's some crazy shit right there.

18

Barky has now pushed his yapfest back to 4:30...from 3:00, which was pushed back from 12:00..

...is everyone trying to get the lies straight?

19 Is there a link for this ?

20 I usually consider guys who try to kill themselves to be total pussys but damn stabbing yourself.... That takes some balls. I wonder if he sat down and ritually poured himself a cup of tea and had a friend with him ready to finish the deed if he failed.

21

I always thought he was funny, but the man is a hot mess.  As for Stern, I don't miss him a bit since he went to satellite radio.

22 #15

I'm not liberal, and I like Howard Stern (in small doses).

I don't care for the exploitation of prostitutes, porn actresses, and handicapped, but he's actually pretty insightful into pop culture, and he'll come right out and ask overstuffed celebrities questions about embarrassing personal issues that nobody else will (always good for a laugh).

23 It's one thing to not think the guy is funny. But he's obviously gone through a lot -- and many of you not only lack compassion, but are downright nasty.

24 Never could stand Stern.  He literally gave me the creeps when I watched him on TV.  Needless to say I only watched him a few times.  Once when he had O'Reilly and the other when Sarah Michelle Gellar was on.

25

Howard Stern?

Is he a Joo or something?

26 There's easier ways of killing yourself out there.

27 23 It's one thing to not think the guy is funny. But he's obviously gone through a lot -- and many of you not only lack compassion, but are downright nasty."   Hey I like Artie Lang and think he is funny as shit. If you ever listened to his comedy routines he would be the first one cracking jokes if some celebrity did this.

28 @23 - Mine probably sounded that way sassy. And no, it's too bad really and I hope he gets better and sees the light. But newsworthy, for this site, well, I guess that's ace's call.  Time to go. A little moron love to all.

29 #20:  I wonder if he sat down and ritually poured himself a cup of tea and had a friend with him ready to finish the deed if he failed.

If he did, the "friend" was a failure too.

"Assisted" suicide is mostly illegal already; I can only imagine the second trying to explain to the Hoboken police why he decapitated Lange with a sword after Lange partially disemboweled himself.

30 And more effective ways.

31
See what happens when we don't have health care reform?

32 >>>Why is this shit not on the sidebar instead? You know what? I am really tired of some of you. Some of you have decided to ignore popular culture entirely. That is your right. But I am tired of the endless hectoring by some of you prigs that you are offended to even see a quickie item. Get over yourselves. This blog has always had a mix of the political and the trivial, and I'm tired of the prigs whining that they don't want their news and politics interrupted for a single post by anything apolitical. Your views are shared, but not widely. And I don't want to goddamn keep hearing the same goddamn whine over and over again. Your computer comes equipped with a mouse or scroll-ball, useful for scrolling past items that don't interest you. I suggest you begin using it and stop the fucking whiny bullshit that you are somehow, insanely, offended to have a pop culture item contaminating your blog-reading experience. Shut the fuck up, I'm tired of hearing it.

33

Why does Barky keep rescheduling his yapfest??

...maybe is the under the bus tossee not going so quiet-like?

34 It's one thing to not think the guy is funny. But he's obviously gone through a lot -- and many of you not only lack compassion, but are downright nasty.

Just because we don't care, doesn't mean we don't understand.

35 Ace,
Send Howard your resume!

You can do both jobs.

36 Three "plunge" wounds?
I wonder where exactly Lange stabbed himself.
Good thing he doesn't know anything about anatomy. . .
(Hint. . .VITAL ORGAN).

37 I hope Margaret Cho tries to outdo him.

38 Divorce made him unfunny too. "I am getting no sex from my wife and I am sooo horny from all these hot chicks I could get" = funny. "I am now single and I can get all this sex from hot chicks" = not funny.

39
I like all of Ace's posts...even the ones calling me a racist.

Seriously, Ace's posts are all fanfuckingtastic.

40 Shut the fuck up, I'm tired of hearing it.

Posted by: ace at January 07, 2010 04:07 PM

Uh oh...Dad's mad again

41 #32

Its the same thing as the bluenoses complaining endlessly about the Stern show.
If you don't like it, change the channel!

42 Ace - Exactly.  No one wanted to hear about some ugly guy boffing supermodels.  Not funny at all.

43 Three "plunge" wounds?
I wonder where exactly Lange stabbed himself.

Have you seen a picture of Artie lately?  Let's just say he has sequestered a whole lot of carbon. 

It would probably take a 12 inch blade just to knick a vital organ.

44
Well, except all those posts when Ace was obsessed with the movie Brokeback Mountain. Everyday for a month there was a Brokeback post.

I'm not exaggerating.

45 Artie was by far the best part of annoying sports announcer/douche Joe Buck's attempt at a talk show.

46
And when's the radio show coming back?

47

"I listened to Stern once years back and thought "So this is what the King of Idiots would sound like""

*runs, sobbing, to the bathroom...a few minutes later, the sound of a bath being drawn pours from behind the closed door*

48

What does this have to do with politics we are talking about a comedian stabbing himself with a knife? Jeez. crack a joke, or stab one if that is your preference.

49 "Dad's" tired of hearing the same bullshit, yeah. This was a three-second post. It didn't "cost" anyone a substantive post. I posted it because 50% of the readers here are Stern fans or, like me, former Stern fans. This whining that posts pop up about topics that don't interest some is just stupid. Of course some posts won't interest you. Why whine about it? It interests me. It interests half of the readers. It's impossible to narrow-cast to ANY particular cohort. The endless whining about pop culture stuff is annoying as fuck. We're gonna have to agree to disagree on this one, fellas. Like i said: Scroll by.

50
Your views are shared, but not widely. And I don't want to goddamn keep hearing the same goddamn whine over and over again.

OMG Ace is a Democrat speechwriter! This is exactly what the Democrats have been telling us since last January.

51

he is basically unfunny and has moved further to the political left from his former libertarian type views.

He's evolved, doncha know.... 

52 On a serious note, we for sure need a BCS thread tonight for me to RammerJammer on, or for Longhorns fans to laugh at my woe on.

53 I like the pop culture posts, but I really like the cheerleader posts!!!

54 I like the pop culture stuff.   I got hooked on AoS over the Chris Klien doesn't placate thing years ago.    It is the mix that makes this blog.

55 So the yapfest is 15 minutes away after 2 slippages. I have the feeling there's gonna be a flaming skull before the end of the day.

56 Never bring a knife to a gun fight, even if it's with yourself, Artie failed again!

57
You know what post is missing from today's AoS lineup? A post about Gilbert Arena and how the NBA might finally be cracking down on the thuggish behavior displayed by these 'role models.'

58 The U.S. seems to have an inexhaustible supply of talentless celebritrons whose lives are self-inflicted train wrecks. 

Maybe we can burn 'em for fuel. 

59
Plus, it's gun-related and that issue is big here with the conservative readership.

60 We all seemed to get along nicely in the days of Carrie Prejean...

61 Sta-Sta-Stabby.

62 A post about Gilbert Arena and how the NBA might finally be cracking down on the thuggish behavior displayed by these 'role models.'

I think they're only cracking down because he was caught on camera making fun of the commish.

Nevertheless, I've been amused that the dude plays for the Washington Bullets Wizards.  How'd that name change work for ya'?

63 Artie Lang is a man who has needed help for years.  Every day on the air is a cry for help.  Literally.  And yet, despite being surrounded by "friends", no one there actually truly helps Artie, because his constant life-in-shambles makes "good radio".

I hope he pulls through, gets help, and stays away from Howard.

64

I got my sattlelite radio cuz of howie the jooooooo, but then he started bashin booooosh too much for my liking circa 2003(when the rest of the libs already forgot about 9/11) which turned out well in the end cuz then I turned the dial and found Mike Church, Andrew Wilkow & Mark Levin etc. This is when I pulled my head outta my ass and realized that I was a conservative and that the douch-nozzles around me in NJ were- well, douch nozzles. Too bad for Artie, seems to me he's become a bit of a cliche'...I'll pray for him.

 

65 #36

You can't really expect Stern to say on air that's its OK to make fun of his pal/colleague who just attempted suicide (no matter how hypocritical that makes him).  Loyalty still applies.

I think the fact that the show has become effectively uncensored has helped in certain ways.  Because the audience has changed (its now only paid subscribers), the content has changed a little bit.

I definitely think that Lange was (is) funnier than his predecessor Martling, though that change happened several years before Stern went to satellite.

66

"The U.S. seems to have an inexhaustible supply of talentless celebritrons whose lives are self-inflicted train wrecks. 

Maybe we can burn 'em for fuel."

...so Charleton Heston turns to the guy sitting next to him in the diner and says, "Does this Soylent Green taste a little funny to you?"

67 Wouldn't bother me if all the NBA thugs shot each other, that would be news!

68 Also Arenas was on video tape after the incident pointing his fingers like guns and mock shooting people. Freakin idiot.

69 Wahhh lifes sooo hard and I'm a worthless junkie...let me just kill myself like the little bitch I am....I guess I suck at that too. Like this dude was struggling to put food in his mouth. Motherfker please. I have no sympathy for people who kill or try to kill themselves. I feel bad for their families but at least he didn't kill a gf or family member before he failed to end his existence.

70 Huge, Quickly at January 07, 2010 04:12 PM (z37MR)

Maybe they stuck in a knife in it.

71 D-

And he only gets that for the 3 deep plunges.

72 Jackie Martling was brutal, in my opinion.  He was only good when the rest of the gang was ripping him and his harpy wife.

73 @70

As I understand it, that was the incident that got him suspended.  Not the gun stuff, nor the gambling. 

74 Stern can be a very tough boss

75 Stern jumped the shark when he got divorced.

Period. End of sentence.

76

Stern was funny as hell when he was on regular radio. I haven't caught his show once since he moved to satellite but I have heard bad things.

77
"And yet, despite being surrounded by "friends", no one there actually truly helps Artie, because his constant life-in-shambles makes "good radio.""

Excellent observation!

I've always despised Howard Stern for being the worst exploiter in my lifetime. Stern has made millions by exploiting retards, stupid women, his own family, and employees. He is a truly an awful human bean.

78 Stabbing into fat is favored by fat folks crying for help, and the Korean Mafia.

79 @80 - And he has a big nose.

80
As I understand it, that was the incident that got him suspended.  Not the gun stuff, nor the gambling. 

Really? I thought it was the gun. Commision...Stern? yeah, Stern, is a dildo.

81 THE ARISTOCRATS!

82
Late to the err, party here.  My two biggest fears?  Being burned and being stabbed.  How in the hell do you go about stabbing yourself?  He had to be high or something.

*shudder*

83 I like your mix, Ace.

But I'll bet if you'd been my dad I'd have got a lot of whippings.  You type like he swung a belt.  And I don't mean the red font.

84 never been a fan of Stern, still want my time back that I wasted on watching his movie. Two hours of shouting "Hey, I didn't cheat on my wife" isn't that interesting.

As for Artie Lang, he's okay but the fact that he hasn't crashed and burned yet puzzles me. Dude's a wreck, he's always been a wreck.

85 Moonbats are the trick aren't they?

86
And he has a big nose.

Maureen Dowd just called me and said she heard you say: And he has a big Joo nose.

Not cool, brah.

87 #65

Unless you know Lange personally, and his friends, and the actions of those around him, I don't think its appropriate for you to judge their actions here. 

The guy has a long history of substance abuse, he's been through detox a few times, he's undergoing psychiatric therapy, he's been on anti-depressants, he has a history of shutting himself away from others, etc.

Is it the fault of his friends and family that he attempted suicide?   I don't know, but probably not.  Per the article, his Mom saw him only a few hours before this incident.  We don't know what exactly (if anything) set him off here.

As for his talking on air about all his problems, I've heard him interviewed on (of all things NPR) about this very issue.  He's said explicitly, that although he's acutely aware that being on the show sort of encourages him to act out because it makes for interesting radio, at the same time, talking about all his issues all the time is also therapeutic for him.

88 @89 - Maureen Dowd has a face like a frying pan.  I don't know if they make Jewish T-Fal, though.

89

82 @80 - And he has a big nose.

Don't they all?

 

 

 

 

90

Oh c'mon lay off the nose jokes morons!

 

91
in b4 Ace comes back in here and yells at us again!

92

Uh..it's 4:30...and no Barky

...apparently Leiter ain't going quitely

93
Notice how Maureen Dowd is slowly morphing into Arianna Huffington?

94 Yeah, what Steffi said!

95 Used to be a Stern listener.  I'd love to hear his current Obama opinion.
I bought Artie's ghostwritten book, too.  He had a good writer, really got his tone very well from the tape recorder to the page so that I could hear him in my head which is the best way to do it.  (Then again, Artie on the tape might have been the optimum guy to transcribe being and all he's a guy who lives by communication by mouth).

But I just wasn't going to spend $10-12 a month to 'subscribe' to radio.

96 70 Also Arenas was on video tape after the incident pointing his fingers like guns and mock shooting people. Freakin idiot.

Yep, that's what did it. If he had just went along with the usual "shut up until it blows over" schtick, Stern wouldn't have done anything. Now he's blaming his teammates for the finger shooting pic, saying they put him up to it, what a chump.

97

Late to the err, party here.  My two biggest fears?  Being burned and being stabbed.  How in the hell do you go about stabbing yourself?  He had to be high or something.

Speaking from very little personal experience on the subject, I've heard that getting stabbed feels pretty much like getting hit, though I imagine that depends on being stabbed quickly.  I've had minor stabbings (really just piercing damage from a hacksaw and screwdriver (messy breakup; don't ask)) that felt pretty much like that, but nothing major.

98 Paying for radio is like paying for sex.

99
Maybe they stuck in a knife in it.

_{very weak rimshot}

100 Nine times?  If the goal was to kill himself he could have simply slit his wrists or stabbed himself in the heart.  Once.

This sounds like a drug-induced frenzy of self-hatred.  Either that or he was trying to kill the spiders.

101

That bitch Huffington stole my schtick!!  Friggin SCRUNT!

 

102 #90- Dude, rehab is for quitters. I hate quitters.

103 Artie was always a liar as Yucko the Clown once said: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVUm_WHZ17U

104
Maybe they stuck in a knife in it.

_{now it's 73% funnier}

105

Oh c'mon lay off the nose jokes  morons!

Posted by: steffi graff at January 07, 2010 04:29

Word

106 >>>OMG Ace is a Democrat speechwriter! This is exactly what the Democrats have been telling us since last January. if I'm not forcing you to read posts you don't like, why are you forcing me to not write posts you don't like? Why are some so insistent that their personal idiosyncratic choices be reinforced and reaffirmed everywhere? I mean-- is pluralism and freedom of choice a real value or is it just lip service?

107 My two biggest fears? Being burned and being stabbed.

Yeah?   I've always been afraid of being slowly chewed to death by a pack of escaped pet hamsters........probably because that's the way my dad went.

108

"Speaking from very little personal experience on the subject, I've heard that getting stabbed feels pretty much like getting hit,"

I saw someone get stabbed in the back and then beat the hell out of the guy that did it. Took him to the curb outside and the guy ran away. Someone mentions to him that he had been stabbed and he looks down at his side and sees blood and immediatly passed out.

Very different than doing the stabbing yourself and continueing to do it after 6 half stabs. He had to be high as hell on coke.

109
I had an emergency c-section and the epidural didn't "take" on my right side.  Suffice it to say, I know what it feels like to be sliced open.  Nightmare doesn't even come close.  And to this day I wish I could take a lead pipe to the anesthesiologist who didn't believe me when I told him I wasn't numb.

110

"Notice how Maureen Dowd is slowly morphing into Arianna Huffington?"

Ultimately, all torches must be passed.

111
I mean-- is pluralism and freedom of choice a real value or is it just lip service?

Are you asking me?

112 Also Arenas was on video tape after the incident pointing his fingers like guns and mock shooting people. Freakin idiot.
---------- ---------- ---------- ---------- ---------- ----------
OMG, finger shooting!  Is there no limit to this mans depravity?

113

Oh c'mon lay off the nose jokes  morons!

I prefer the word schnozz.......

114 #32

But I am tired of the endless hectoring by some of you prigs that you are offended to even see a quickie

Just for the record... I like quickies. 

115 Well, that was a silly sockpuppet snafu!

116 it's 4:30...and no Barky

What time is that football game tonight? 

117
if I'm not forcing you to read posts you don't like, why are you forcing me to not write posts you don't like?

Just a joke, brah. I dig this post. I mentioned the Brokeback posts because it got kinda redundant after a while. And again, it was just a joke and clearly an exaggeration on my part. You only wrote a dozen or so Brokeback posts, not thirty as I implied.

118 Six times! Guys who are that committed should be.

119

Artie Lang is Japanese?

120

120

Anyone here ever gotten laid in an airport? One of my friends swore to me he picked up some chick in an airport bar and took her to one of the members only rooms.

121 113
I had an emergency c-section and the epidural didn't "take" on my right side.  Suffice it to say, I know what it feels like to be sliced open.

Gah! ^{_{that made my balls shrivel up, even more than usual}}

122 I'm not arguing so much as seeking information -- did I really write a bunch of Brokeback posts? I don't remember that at all. I hated the movie and said so, and then maybe made jokes about it.

123 http://tinyurl.com/2d3gev

Rim shot for Artie. Stern was best when he was on WNBC in NYC. He was constrained and thus made more creative

124 111 My two biggest fears? Being burned and being stabbed.

Mine are having a narcissistic, incompetent boob as President and drowning. 

125
I mean-- is pluralism and freedom of choice a real value or is it just lip service?

This question is beyond my pay grade, Ace.

126 Well, that was a silly sockpuppet snafu!

Oh.  Damn.

127 Why are some so insistent that their personal idiosyncratic choices be reinforced and reaffirmed everywhere?

It's called "human nature", Ace. Advertising executives have been counting on it for years and years.

128 #93

I can't comment on how Stern handled this incident since I didn't hear it.   Again, I listen only sporadically.  With the usual goombahs that call in, you'd expect some of them to try the "Artie stabbed himself. . .wahhhh" schtick.  Maybe he let a few in to shut them down, or just to pre-empt an endless barrage of them.

In terms of how the move to satellite has helped the show, for one thing, there is simply less commercial time, and they can do longer bits/interviews uninterrupted.   One thing about the show on ordinary radio was the never ending amount of commercials. 

Next thing (and this is a bit harder to quantify), after the move to satellite, all the performers just seemed calmer to me.  I think it had to do with them all getting nice raises, more vacation time, better studio and office space, etc.

In terms of specific censorship issues, I'd generally agree that radio censorship generally didn't interfere with what I'd consider to be his best material (with you, that being celebrity interviews).

Being on satellite has let them talk more explicitly about sexual topics.  Sometimes that's interesting, though not always a benefit.  There was a time when Stern would simply talk to porn stars. . .now he actually has them CREATE pornography on his set. . .not so good.

Sometimes, it can be interesting to hear the celebrities on the show using profanity (that would otherwise be censored).

129 You did write alot of Carrie Prejean posts but she is hot so it's ok.

130 Maybe it was a rehersal for some performance art.

131 @113   Yikes ..that made me cringe. 

132 I'm glad this wasn't on the sidebar.

Oh, I'm also happy that this guy, whoever he is, isn't dead.

Unless, of course, he really wanted to be dead. Then I guess I'm sad.

Also, these comments calling the guy a failure are pretty uncool. He's clearly got some issues...I bet he'd cry if he saw some of the mean comments on this thread.

Don't cry troubled non-famous man. It'll be okay.

133
Ace, if I remember rightly, you wrote a bunch of Brokeback-centric posts. For a while there you had an uncanny knack of tying in the movie with a lot of socio-political current events. It went on for about a month after you and allahpundit saw the movie together.

134 Makes me think of the crappiest suicide attempt I've heard of... a guy shot himself 4 times in the gut w/ a .22 but just wasn't dying fast enough so he drove to the nearest bridge and jumped off. Cause of death was drowning. Sad, though, for Artie.

135 I only saw a couple of scenes of Brokeback Mountain when it hit tv.  Made me want to stab myself in the eye.  The scenes with the wife were gut-wrenchingly depressing.   Why people glamorize that lifestyle is beyond me. 

136 >>> As for Artie Lang, he's okay but the fact that he hasn't crashed and burned yet puzzles me. Dude's a wreck, he's always been a wreck. hated him, really. Want Jackie back. Jackie wasn't super-funny but I'd die as fred made fun of him.

137 God bless him, maybe this'll be the chance he needs to get his shit better together. Because great blessings certainly can come from the most difficult times.

I never listen to Howard Stern, but Artie's a sharp and funny guy and was great with MADtv back in the day. He had a character called "That's My White Momma" who was a stern mother to a black teenage girl. His tagline was, "Don't make me break my foot off in yo' ass!"

I remember (and still sometimes quote from) the one scene where the girl was dating a boy whom Artie disliked, fearing he was a bad seed and a drop-out. The girl, trying to stick up for him said, "But Momma, he goes to high school!"

Artie says, "HIGH SCHOOL?! You mean he goes to school HIGH!!"

Lmao.

138 Stern asked every celebrity the ultimate taboo question: "How much money do you make?"

139

As soon as Artie got on mic I switched stations.  Unfunny bloated drug addict.  Pathetic that he was 'found' by his mommy who was buying him groceries.

140

ace at January 07, 2010 04:07 PM (Fue76)

You tell 'em, Ace! 

I never heard of the guy but it's pretty sad when someone is so depressed that they will do that. It is a reminder that a lot of people have mental health problems - including people you care about.  It doesn't mean they are pussys. And putting them down doesn't say much about you.

141 Howard Stern and the rest of his cast of sex addicts, drunks, druggies, and baby-rapin' perverts can all rot in hell.  Hope the fat bastard dies.

142
Jackie is like 70 years old. I can't get over how old the dude is.

143

#39, you hit it, Ace. I listened to Hoard on DC-101 25 years ago. The Air Florida crank call. Fartman calls the Iranian Embassy. Porn stars on air. Great shit. Warped me for life. The divorce and old age have softened him. He's got Beth, and he's just got no edge left. He's just another washed-up comic. I originally got Sirius just so I could listen to Howard at Fort Campbell, and he's unlistenable.

I feel bad for Artie. He was the only funny guy on there.

And for those who complain about the coarsening of American society, society, like /b/, was never good.

 

144

"The U.S. seems to have an inexhaustible supply of talentless celebritrons whose lives are self-inflicted train wrecks. 

Maybe we can burn 'em for fuel."

 

145 Yeah, i quit listening after Jackie left, although i would sometimes watch the E! show.

146 @145

That's all we were doing! 

147

"The U.S. seems to have an inexhaustible supply of talentless celebritrons whose lives are self-inflicted train wrecks. 

Maybe we can burn 'em for fuel."

 

Heh!  Michael Moore could keep an entire Inuit Village warm for many moons.

148

149 Howard Stern and the rest of his cast of sex addicts, drunks, druggies, and baby-rapin' perverts can all rot in hell.  Hope the fat bastard dies."

Wow wtf was that?

PS How come 90% of over the top comments come from names I never see on here?

149

This story reminded me of a local newspaper story when I was a kid back in the 50s. A local loan shop operator committed suicide by shooting himself in the back with a high powered rifle.

He had been involved in a kickback scheme with a local politician.

 

150 SGT Dan thats funny I still listen to DC101. Pull over to 106.7 now for talk though since they switched formats.

151
Stern's gift is definitely seen in the interview. As Ace mentions above, he'll ask the questions no one else will -- from the really personal to the really personal and crude.

His interviewees all balk at the questions, but Stern knows how to get them to answer the questions! Stern is tenacious and crafty and will continue to chip away until he finally gets them to answer his qusetions.

152 #114

I agree. . .you don't blame someones friends and family for "letting" them commit suicide.  That's stupid, and in this particular case, its probably simply wrong.

On getting stabbed, I was once stabbed in the leg with a pocketknife (not on purpose. . .don't ask).

It hurt. . .a little. . .not really very much.   The gushing blood was really a lot more disturbing than the pain, but nothing a few minutes of direct pressure and sutures couldn't fix.  The sutures hurt more than the actual stab wound.

What is REALLY supposed to hurt, (and fortunately I have no personal experience with this), is the VISCERAL pain of having an internal organ punctured (like the liver, etc).

Of course if you're high on heroin (as Lange liked to do), you're probably not going to feel even that.

153 @156 - Yeah, that was pretty harsh, even for here.

154 I'm still waiting for Brokeback Mountain 2 - the Fur Traders. Not really into the whole gay thing but I have always been impressed by the talents of Jessica Biel, Halle Berry and the rest of the cast.

Poster

155

I suggest you begin using it and stop the fucking whiny bullshit that you are somehow, insanely, offended to have a pop culture item contaminating your blog-reading experience

Ace jumps the Allahpundit shark.

 

156
Stern can get big movie stars to talk about their anal-intercourse experiences. That's a gift...or perhaps a curse.

And Howard Stern ALWAYS asks the guys about the size of their hogs.
He got Steve Guttenberg to talk about his wang and how he cleans his anus after he poops. That's, um, a gift.

157 Sorry I inadvertently hit the post button.  I never knew it was possible for a woman to experience premature ejaculation til now.  Anywho, I have satellite radio in my car.  I don't listen to Stern.  I don't think he's funny.  Now the Blue Collar Comedy channel, that's pretty funny most of the time.  There are definitely a lot more commercials on Satellite radio than they did when I first subscribed in 2004.

158

Anyone here ever gotten laid in an airport? One of my friends swore to me he picked up some chick in an airport bar and took her to one of the members only rooms.

 

Why yes, I have, but it's been quite some time...

159

It went on for about a month after you and allahpundit saw the movie together.

And don't believe Ace and Allah when they claime that there was a "fag seat" between them when they saw Broke Back together.  Karol revealed that she was not with them at the time but  was put up to say that she was.

160

PS How come 90% of over the top comments come from names I never see on here?

Cuz you're not reading enough?

161
haha @ fag seat

Ace never did neither confirm nor deny it, did he?

162
Lange sustained six "hesitation wounds" and three deep plunges.

How do they know they happened in that order?  Maybe he stabbed himself really good on the first three and then started getting really sleepy or something during the last six.  He coulda been all "Shit,  I thought I'd be dead by now" and stuff.  He doesn't look like he got much exercise.

Or what if it was an accident?  Maybe he was holding a knife in the kitchen and slipped.  You know,  maybe the floor was all slippery with... something really slippery and in goes the blade!  Crap!  Then he's making his way to the phone and Slip!  Stab!  Slip!  Stab!  Slip,  slip.  Stab,  stab.  Slip.  Stab!  That would fucking suck.  Or maybe he was unloading the dishwasher and fell on the silverware rack.

163

LOL.

What the hell happened--- is Ace on estrogen like Stern's tranny wife?

 

164 >>>And don't believe Ace and Allah when they claime that there was a "fag seat" between them when they saw Broke Back together. Karol revealed that she was not with them at the time but was put up to say that she was. she was there, she must have been joking.

165

The blog's always been a mix of political & "guy geek" commentary. Go to the archives, read the stuff from before mu.nu. If Ace of Spades HQ has changed in ANY way it's been to drift more towards being purely political than drifting any other way.

Jackie I can't stand. Just annoying. His writing may have kicked ass, but you were never sure because it was coming out of Howards mouth. His Jokeman schtick was just terrible.

Artie has become nothing but a syncophant. He must say, "The great thing about you Howard" a 100 times a show now.

Guy was born under a bad sign. Some people grow out of the type of problems he has. He's past that point. Unfortunate, but I don't think anyone can help him ultimately.

The shit with his father falling off the ladder and the aftermath probably has alot to do with it. Some people can handle tragedy like that, others can't. Not a question of him being a good or bad person. Weak? I don't know about weak- But def not as strong as he needs to be.

166

"fag seat"

I bought one of those 'cause I thought it'd be all cool and trendy.  They're really uncomfortable.  Really uncomfortable.  And they start to smell bad pretty quick.

167 Geez, Artie, nobody likes living in Hoboken, but COME ON!

168 Shut the fuck up, I'm tired of hearing it.

That was a pretty vicious rant, ace.

But I'm drawing a line in the sand: if you declare that mockery of your open tags is off-limits, too, then action alerts will be deployed.

169

Completely off topic, but funnier than Howard Stern.  From Hotair:

But the final irony is that many of the detainees may not even want to be transferred to Thomson and could conceivably even raise their own legal roadblocks to allow them to stay at Gitmo.

Falkoff notes that many of his clients, while they clearly want to go home, are at least being held under Geneva Convention conditions in Guantánamo. At Thomson, he notes, the plans call for them to be thrown into the equivalent of a “supermax” security prison under near-lockdown conditions.

“As far as our clients are concerned, it’s probably preferable for them to remain at Guantánamo,” he says.

170 Jackie sucked ass. I have no idea how he even got that job since the true talent writer on that show was Fred (if he's still there, because I don't listen anymore). My friend is Jackie's publicist and I've asked her in the past how she can publicize such a non-talent. As for Artie, I did think he was talented. I just feel bad that he's had so many issues and that some people here think his suicide attempt is a reason to make fun of him. Completely classless.

171 Drats, sorry I keep leaving sock on!

172
running, what's the medical term for cut? you know, like contusion is the word for bruise, what's the damn word for cut?

173 Sassy, I'm sorry if I offended you.  I think that part of the humor is borne out of the horrible irony of the situation.  And I don't know about you, but I often laugh inappropriately about things that really aren't funny. 

174 Back in my "darker" days, I used to listen to Stern on a fairly regular basis, pre and post-satellite. I stopped on two accounts: his ideological move to the left and the decision to charge Sirius customers for the computer-based audio stream on top of the standard subscription. Pure greed. Having said that, I found Artie a pretty funny guy, in the purely tragicomic sense. I hope he somehow will be able to purge his demons after all of this.

175 MSNBC, that would be laceration.

176

"There are definitely a lot more commercials on Satellite radio than they did when I first subscribed in 2004."

That ruins it for me.  Sat was one of the few things I turned down at the dealership on my car, and I figured I could always add it later.  Why on earth am I gonna blow $120 / year to listen to commercials?

177 runningrn - I usually try to steer clear of making classless jokes about suicide or attempted suicide victims. Just me.

178

Pink, I get back to DC once a year, and even then Mom and Dad live so far down on the Chesapeake that DC-101 doesn't come in all that well. If I drive it, I've got satellite in the truck.

The E! show was great, still have a couple episodes on tape, including the one where he managed to get most of my favorite Penthouse Pets topless. Stacy Moran...ah. Damned censoring. He could release the uncut DVD's of that shit and I'd buy it.

179 I thought the new term for Medical cut was rationing.

180
laceration!

thank you; I've been trying to think of it since yesterday

181 I'm as conservative as the next guy, but I used to always listen to Stern back in his terrestrial radio days. I agree with Ace, hell yes you have to mix it up sometimes with a little variety. funny quip about Jackie the jokeman. I did not shed any tears when Artie took his place.

182  I usually try to steer clear of making classless jokes about suicide or attempted suicide victims. Just me.

Posted by: Sassypants at January 07, 2010 05:11 PM (D9/AU)

How do you feel about the Darwin Awards?

183 Another former Stern fan checking in. I bought the Sirius for his show (like one of the commenters above), and I found that I couldn't listen to his uncensored show anywhere...not at work, not at home (because of the kids), and like Ace said, he grew unfunny after the divorce. But from 1986 until about 9/11, his terrestrial show was pretty awesome.

184 >>>Ace jumps the Allahpundit shark. right, fine. so there are now 200 comments on this. so some people are interested. Tell me, Dack, should I ignore their interests and just play to yours? What makes you so special?

185

"And I don't know about you, but I often laugh inappropriately about things that really aren't funny."

I felt like the worst person in the world^(tm?) when trying to tell some coworkers about the little boy who got drunk and stole Christmas presents so he'd be able to visit his dad in jail.  Could.  Not.  Stop.  Snickering.  Coworkers stared at me with soft, blank expressions, that said "we will be praying for your soul this evening..."

186 I see him in the King's supermarket in town all the time. Clean up aisle 9!

187 #151

Oh God, I'm not the only /b/tard here.  Lord help us all.

188 Senator Craig, that's why I kept the Sirius after I got tired of Stern...the commercial-free music. The talk shows have to have commercials, though, and they are the same cheesy "make $10 grand a month" ads that regular radio has.....

189 when stern turned super-liberal, I couldn't take him. I guess I should say that too. It wasn't just that he was liberal. It's that he wouldn't STFU abou Bush, over a trivial matter in the scheme of things. the FCC fined him; whatever.

190
so there are now 200 comments on this. so some people are interested.

yeah, but almost half of them are mine, so...

191 when trying to tell some coworkers about the little boy who got drunk and stole Christmas presents so he'd be able to visit his dad in jail.  Could.  Not.  Stop.  Snickering.

#197.

Dude, welcome to the Hell Express®.  No lines.  No waiting.

192 Heh!  Reason.  I remember being at a funeral once with my family, and my younger sister and I started cracking up for some unknown reason during the eulogy.  (I think the guy unintentionally said something funny).  I would start getting myself together, and then I'd hear my sister snicker, and that would set me off again).  My mom said she and her older sister did the same thing during a Buddhist funeral.  The Buddhist priest chanting was what got them going.

193

I bought one of those 'cause I thought it'd be all cool and trendy.  They're really uncomfortable.  Really uncomfortable.  And they start to smell bad pretty quick.

Borrow Ace's. I hear he never uses it.

194
Wasn't half the fun of Stern's show to hear he masterfully describe on the radio the most crude, the most base, the most lascivious acts performed by humans without breaking FCC code?

195 the whole anti-bush thing was ego-tripping. He wanted to prove, I think, that he could turn his listeners all against Bush, and prove that taking on Stern was a losing proposition. And I did stop listening around then, for various reasons. But basically he was telling me I couldn't listen to the show unless I wanted to join his anti-Bush jihad. Let's see -- support a President defending us against terrorism, or support stern so he could avoid a couple of hundred thousand dollars in FCC fines. (Which were paid by his carrier anyway.) Let's see, let's see. Tough choice.

196

right, fine.

so there are now 200 comments on this. so some people are interested. Tell me, Dack, should I ignore their interests and just play to yours?

What makes you so special?

I don't really care one way or the other. I was just trying to needle you.

197

Yeesh.

If Ace were any more thin-skinned, he'd be part of the Obama administration.

198
Well, Stern got his wish -- no more Bush, no more pesky FCC

And we went from Bush fighting the War on Terror to Obama fighting the War on Health Care.

199 A culture post!!!  A CULTURE POST!!!  THAT'S IT!!!  I WANT A REFUND.

200 How the hell do you stab yourself 9 times before the brain tells you to stop because it hurts like hell?

In this case, being a fat slob probably saved his life because the knife couldn't reach any vital organs.

201 Yeah, the whole show became pretty insufferable once Stern decided to see if he could take down Bush in 2004.  I remember they would cite the content of Fahrenheit 9/11 every freaking day without either acknowledging (or, more likely, being aware) that Michael Moore was a disingenuous sack of crap.

It was just too hard to listen to that kind of disinformation on a daily basis.

202 I looked up Stern's wife on wiki and they said she is 5'11" and 105 lbs. No way. She would be a toothpick.  Saw that he talks about her pubic hair on air.  That's disgusting. She had to be hardup or a gold digger to marry that creep.

203 And as far as taking cheap shots at Lange, he deserves it. I've heard him make extraordinarily horrific comments about other people in similar or worse straits, so fire away.

204

Lange = Lang

Must've been thinking of The Love Boat.

205

A culture post!!!  A CULTURE POST!!!  THAT'S IT!!!  I WANT A REFUND

You'll have to fill out a form and mail it in. And you need Allahpundit to notarize it first.

206
you had it right, Isaac

207
Did anyone click on my link way above? It's kinda funny.

208 Dack - You're nowhere near as funny as you seem to think. It must be nice for you to be so delusional.

209 @215

Yeah, I can't get all torn up about making fun of a guy whose profession seems to be airing his personal problems on the radio. 

Same as I couldn't get all wound up about folks making fun of the latest dead Kennedy.  Or Tia Tequila's dead girlfriend.  Or the dumb Bengal who got killed trying to do whatever the heck it was to his girlfriend. 

Suicide is tragic.  But choosing to lead a life as effed up as this guy has is not a tragedy, so I just can't drum up any sympathy for the guy. 

210

I am a fan of the Howard Stern Show, so from my perspective, "thanks" to Ace for posting this.

Artie Lange, who is certainly not one of my favorite "characters" on the Show, is a very, very sick individual and I feel bad for him.  He has been a heroin addict and an alcoholic for quite a while.   He has, evidently, been lying to everyone about the success of his sobriety efforts over the past few months (no matter how unbelievable they were... no one really questioned them in any real, meaningful way).  Hopefully, this will be the "rock bottom" or "wake up call" necessary for him to get the help he needs.  

If anything, I really must say that I was disappointed in how Howard handled the matter.  He basically, never mentioned what happened to Artie until Page Six finally (9 days later?) wrote an article about it (really great job for someone who prides himself as being as "honest" and "open" as possible with his listeners).

On his show today, he was forced to grudgingly admit that there was a suicide attempt and was angry that someone leaked the story to Page Six and that Page Six reported it.  In his opinion, it was a family matter and he felt it was a shame that the family had to deal with everyone finding out what happened.

For a man (and show) that, on a daily basis, publicizes and ridicules the personal lives, scandals and miscues of celebrities, this hypocrisy was glaring.  If this story had been about Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton, they would have taken an hour to talk about and laugh at the story.  I appreciate that Artie and his family are "loved" by those on the Show, so it makes some sense why Howard would respond differently to Artie's problems.  However, it doesn't make the hypocrisy any less real.  

The only person on the show to even - at all- come close to acknowledging the hypocrisy was Robin (surprising bit of self-awareness, from the head narcissist - if you are a listener, you know what I am talking about).   But, she stopped short of calling out Howard on his hypocrisy and agreed that it would be best to not even read the story aloud and to move on with the Show. That is not surprising as she rarely, if ever, challenges or contradicts Howard (a parrot could easily do her job).

I like The Howard Stern Show a lot, but I don't really hold Howard Stern on any pedestal like your typical fan.  Neither he nor many other people on that show would I personally like to meet or be friends with.  Howard is a psychological mess...  (I somewhat like Gary and some of the bit players like JD, Richard, Lisa G, John Hein, but cannot stand Robin or Fred) but this was disappointing for me.  Perhaps, what is more disappointing is that Stern admittedly has yet to see him or talk with him since the attempt.  Supposedly, they are very close (according to Howard). 

Yes, Howard Stern is very left wing (he regularly goes into screeds against Limbaugh and Pailin), but fortunately, his political rants do not dominate the show (unless he has Michael Moore or similar guests on).

 

211

Talk radio where I lived use to be so good.  Now it sucks. Local radio canceled conservative programs or the radio hosts left.  A number of so called conservative/libertarians came out as the liberals they really where.  And they do nothing but bash Bush and conservatives. That idiot Bill Handel was bashing Dick Chaney today.  I only caught it is passing but it reminded me why I detest him so much.

The only conservatives we have are Limbaugh, Levin, and Hannitty - none are local. The one local conservative is a relatively young gay guy by the name of John Phillips. He's pretty funny and is a true conservative. Glad to see his career progressing.

212

Dack - You're nowhere near as funny as you seem to think. It must be nice for you to be so delusional

The forms for kissing Ace's ass also need to be notarized.

213 224 -- oooh. You got me bad. It took you a while to think that one up to, huh?

214

Yeah, I can't get all torn up about making fun of a guy whose profession seems to be airing his personal problems on the radio.

Knowing Artie, he'll be making fun of his own actions when he gets better and returns to the air. At the very least, he'll acknowledge the smart ass comments directed at him in some way.

215 I thought the standard method for overweight comics to off themselves was heroin.  Or maybe getting a ham stuck in a ventricle.

216 >>>144

Man, I love that "white Mama" sketch. My wife & I still warn each other not to "make me break my foot off in yo ass!".

217

224 -- oooh. You got me bad. It took you a while to think that one up to, huh?

I don't know. All of about two seconds once I saw it. Too busy skimming through other sites to just sit here constantly.

218 For me, Stern's real comedic genius came when he either riffed on his childhood, or did bits with his mom and dad on the air. I used to laugh my ass off.

219

polynikes:  Sure.  

The show has, for the most part, fairly polarizing personalities.  Maybe that is part of the allure...

220 Pussy. I had to stick my head in a bag full of badgers just for training. I'm a seal.

221

"Yeah, I can't get all torn up about making fun of a guy whose profession seems to be airing his personal problems on the radio."

I agree with you.  Artie makes a living (on the Howard Stern Show, in his stand-up routine and in his books) on talking about his very horrible lifestyle and life choices (e.g., drugs, alcohol, hookers, etc.) so it is hard to feel bad for talking about (or joking about) what just happened.

Moreover, if we were talking about the attempted suicide of some other celebrity, he would likely be standing in line to make fun of it.  Sorry, love the Stern show, but that is what they do...they expose and ridicule celebrities' personal lives.

222 227 "I thought the standard method for overweight comics to off themselves was heroin.  Or maybe getting a ham stuck in a ventricle."
Artie is a heroin addict (and, I believe, alcoholic), so there is a good chance that the knife was taken to his midsection due, in some part, to the heroin.

223

"Knowing Artie, he'll be making fun of his own actions when he gets better and returns to the air. At the very least, he'll acknowledge the smart ass comments directed at him in some way."

True.  And, then, of course, he will resume his stellar self-guided rehab program that worked so well (having someone hold his cell phone and having two off-duty cops live with him for a few weeks). Worked wonders the last time!

224

Humor is pretty subjective.

 

225 I was a huge Stern fan that even followed him to satellite. The last couple of years I've just found him absolutely intolerable with his leftist-political bullsh*t.

The reason I'd followed him to Sirius was basically Artie. I appreciated the Jakie Martling days as much as anyone with the stories and whatnot, but as far as I was concerned, Artie and his drama carried the show since 2003.  Yeah he'd take the easy quip and sometimes push things too far, but he was often so damned quick-witted it was refreshing to listen to.

This storythough, wow.  I think everyone tragically might have been on Chris Farley watch with this guy, but to come to this?  As f*cked up and ridiculous as this is on the surface, can any of you imagine for a second what kind of place you'd have to be in to stab yourself 9 effing times, 3 of them "deeply"?  Wow.   I'm sorry,  to me that's a little too much to make light of.

226 Pussy. I had to stick my head in a bag full of badgers just for training. I'm a seal.

Posted by: Jesse Ventura at January 07, 2010 05:58 PM (1OBwr)

No. You are not.

227

23 It's one thing to not think the guy is funny. But he's obviously gone through a lot -- and many of you not only lack compassion, but are downright nasty. Posted by: Sassypants


Lighten up Francis. 

It's not like WE know the fat fucker.  And it's not like AOS is some "hallowed hall of refined debate"

Choad.

I'll make jokes about a guy who makes more in a month than I see in a year any goddamn time he's stupid enough to make th enews for his own self-inflicted idiocy.


Oh, and I just came here to say:

. . . .and then it got stabby.

/got nothin'

228 It'll be a weird day when sactimonious, self-righteousness is celebrated at the HQ.

229

"I was a huge Stern fan that even followed him to satellite. The last couple of years I've just found him absolutely intolerable with his leftist-political bullsh*t. "

Cannot argue with that.  He went from real libertarian to real liberal (some of it I blame on the marriage to Beth).  But, for the most part, if you listen to the old shows he was really anti-republican as he identified republicans with the religious right (which really hated him and his show).

The reason I'd followed him to Sirius was basically Artie. I appreciated the Jakie Martling days as much as anyone with the stories and whatnot, but as far as I was concerned, Artie and his drama carried the show since 2003.  Yeah he'd take the easy quip and sometimes push things too far, but he was often so damned quick-witted it was refreshing to listen to.

I go back and forth on Artie.  Sometimes I really enjoy his story telling.  However, I really dislike his old Jersey, Italian schtick sometimes.  He is incredibly misogynistic ("broads", "honey" and "sweetie"). 

I miss Jackie because Jackie used to challenge Howard.  Artie almost never challenges Howard (exception: the "bro fight"), constantly agrees with Howard ("you are so right" and "I agree with you Howard") and so often feeds Howard's ego ("Howard, the brilliance of your show is...", "You are so amazing at...").  Of course, this is what Howard likes (it has to be...Robin contributes almost nothing to that show...she is a freaking parrot).  If Howard were to come out and say "Bruce Springsteen is a big fag whose music is a step above the Jonas Brothers", Artie would find some way to agree with him (and Springsteen is Artie's favorite musician)

This storythough, wow.  I think everyone tragically might have been on Chris Farley watch with this guy, but to come to this?  As f*cked up and ridiculous as this is on the surface, can any of you imagine for a second what kind of place you'd have to be in to stab yourself 9 effing times, 3 of them "deeply"?  Wow.   I'm sorry,  to me that's a little too much to make light of.

You hit the nail on the head, though.  I cannot imagine what place you have to be to make the decision to kill your self - let alone to do so in such a brutual manner.  

230 I agree with you.  Artie makes a living (on the Howard Stern Show, in his stand-up routine and in his books) on talking about his very horrible lifestyle and life choices (e.g., drugs, alcohol, hookers, etc.) so it is hard to feel bad for talking about (or joking about) what just happened.

Talking? Okay.  But "joking"? 

Hookers/drugs alcohol are one thing. .  Hell suicide attempts  are one thing.  You'd have to be a pretty dark evil sonofabitch before I'd start to find them funny,  but fine.  But this wasn't just a suicide attempt, he didn't down a bucketful of pills or something.  No this guy . 

6 "hestitating wounds and
 3 severe wounds.

Imagine, he tore himself  with the knife once and went back twice more.  I can't
even comprehend that.

231
Sounds like another Extreme Self Acupuncture gone bad.  Someone needs to regulate that shit.

And how does someone that fat and that old get their mom to bring food to their house?  Bass ackwards.

232

It's one thing to not think the guy is funny. But he's obviously gone through a lot -- and many of you not only lack compassion, but are downright nasty. Posted by: Sassypants

I understand where you are coming from, we should show more compassion and be a bit less nasty, but - and this is coming from someone who religiously listens to the show - this is what this guy does for a living. Artie, Stern and the rest spend 4 hours, 4 days per week exposing and discussing celebrity personal lives.  They are constantly commenting on and ridiculing celebrities for their problems, their scandals and their miscues.   If this was Lohan or Paris Hilton, they would have been saying much worse about their failed attempts.

233

Where were the three deep wounds?

How deep is deep?

234 First we get the "this isn't news" fuckers, now the self-righteous, pointless white knighting of some worthless piece of human drivel.

Are you sure this isn't Hot Air. 

Where are the dour, unfunny Huckabee lovers and the demand for MM to fire ace?

235

"Hookers/drugs alcohol are one thing. .  Hell suicide attempts  are one thing.  You'd have to be a pretty dark evil sonofabitch before I'd start to find them funny,  but fine.  But this wasn't just a suicide attempt, he didn't down a bucketful of pills or something.  No this guy . 

6 "hestitating wounds and
 3 severe wounds.

Imagine, he tore himself  with the knife once and went back twice more.  I can't even comprehend that."

----   Genious At Work at January 07, 2010 06:24 PM (6+ir3)

Yeah, I cannot comprehend it either.  Perhaps, you are right that we shouldn't make light of it.  My only point is that many of the posters who are making light of it are doing exactly what Artie would do if it were someone else who had done it. That is how this guy makes his living.

Artie must have been in some crazy, horrible place to do what he did.  I cannot understand how anyone could kill themselves, let alone do it by such self mutilation.  Sick individual.

236

I felt like the worst person in the world^(tm?) when trying to tell some coworkers about the little boy who got drunk and stole Christmas presents so he'd be able to visit his dad in jail.  Could.  Not.  Stop.  Snickering.  Coworkers stared at me with soft, blank expressions, that said "we will be praying for your soul this evening..."

Posted by: reason

i got the same reaction telling that story, just like yesterday a lady i work with was wondering what to replace her dump dodd sticker with and i suggested the classic "vote from the rooftops" sticker. very blank stares.

and for the record i don't think that suicide or attempted suicide is funny...i think its pathetically weak and selfish.

237

s'moron at January 07, 2010 06:31 PM (p1s9n)

You're a fine lad there, my boy. If you've a newsletter, sign me up.

238 Thx, Dack.  At some point this shit has to stop.  We must take a stand for our ancient AOS liberties.

 and the hobgoblin times has ceased its run, but it was only available in the comments section here anyway. 
 

239 and for the record i don't think that suicide or attempted suicide is funny

I don't know, i've seen some funny suicide vids on these here intertubes. Guy who decides to end it all by setting himself on fire and then regrets it once his ass is a -blazin and runs around frantically trying to put it out? Funny.

240 for the record i don't think that suicide or attempted suicide is funny


Boo fucking hoo.

Check out "an hero" at encyclopedia dramatica.  Some of those gifs are, while tragic, pretty damn funny too.

241

Suggested song for Artie's grand return to the show?

Suicide is Painless

242

Six hesitates. Three deep wounds.

Say it with me:

one, two, THREE!

one, two, THREE!

one, two, THREE!

There ya go. Nine wounds.

243

This Howard Stern show forum is anonymous, uncensored & not for the emotionally sensitive. No holds barred!  It also has a very long running flame war. Feel free to join in! :-)

http://www.voy.com/9284/

244 Artie's dad fell off a ladder installing TV antennas (his small business) and became a quadrapeligic (sp?). Couldn't sue anyone cause he stole the ladder he was using and I seem to remember he put the ladder on a picnic table before climbing it. His dad begged him to kill him multiple times when he was growing up. When Artie pointed out he'd do time for killing his father, his father urged him to leave an open bottle of sleeping pills next to him and he'd take care of the rest.

With that family history, it's almost inevitable that Artie would attempt to kill himself at some point.

245 Kinda gets you right here *points at heart*, no?

246

I'm a Stern fan from before he "syndicated" and got on in Philly, too.  In those days it was really risky to admit you were a fan at all.  I didn't follow him to sattelite, it would have been my only reason and it wasn't a good enough reason.  From the Sirius shows I've heard I'd have to agree that he was better when he had rules that he had to work around.

But I do feel for Artie.  Forget whether he's funnier than Jackie, or whether he sucks up more or less than Robin.  He's the latest in a long line of funny fat self-destructive guys.  Belushi, Candy, Farley et.al.   It's not our fault.  We don't make them kill themselves in order to be funny.  But they burn themselves from the inside out to get it, and we do laugh, sometimes a lot.

247 Pffft! What a piker.  World War 2.....now *THAT* was a cry for help.....

248

I wonder if Howard will pull out his old Donald Manes song parodies from the 80's in honor of Artie.

For those of you out of the NYC metro area:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald_Manes

 

249 Candy wasn't self-destructive, just unhealthy.  Certainly he shouldn't be lumped in with Belushi and Farley, both of whom were in a league of their own when it came to self-destructive behavior.

250 I don't even think Candy did drugs, unless you consider sugar a drug.