Ace of Spades HQ

November 21, 2010

IÃ¤! IÃ¤! Cthulhu Blog'n'!
— Open Blogger

This short piece is actually a reading comprehension test on Ace's Open Blogger instruction email Â– specifically, the part that reads:

Rule #1: Don't screw up.
Rule #2: In case of any questions, refer to Rule #1.
Rule #3: What did I tell you?

I'm posting it now because Â– at least, in theory Â– there's still time to fix the blog and revoke my Open Blogger invitation before I gin up any significant amount of content. This also responds to another portion of the Open Blogger instruction sheet: Â“Try putting up a post, if you have some quickie, tomorrow, to see if you've got the gist of it.Â” Â– although I'm still somewhat unsure about the relationship between blogging and Â“quickieÂ”. [Did anyone else get the same thing in their email???]

I have great plans for an extended post tomorrow about new developments in the application of rhetorical devices and their effects on postprandial diversions....

Posted by: Open Blogger at 05:20 PM | Comments (53)
Post contains 154 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Rules?

Posted by: profligatewaste at November 21, 2010 05:23 PM (b3rrc)

2 When the stars are right, he will blog again

Posted by: Oldcat at November 21, 2010 05:24 PM (CN+Qv)

3 have great plans for an extended post tomorrow about new developments in the application of rhetorical devices and their effects on postprandial diversions....

Posted by: Open Blogger at 09:20 PM Unzip Pull out Spank like it spilled the last beer. What else can be said?

Posted by: Hussein the Plumber at November 21, 2010 05:25 PM (r1h5M)

4 Hey, Cthulhu, I think you were the lesser evil in 2008 after all.

Posted by: 18-1 at November 21, 2010 05:26 PM (bgcml)

5 Rules?

Posted by: profligatewaste at November 21, 2010 09:23 PM (b3rrc)

Rules are those things to keep the peasants in line...right?

Posted by: Marie Obamaette at November 21, 2010 05:27 PM (bgcml)

6 I think rule #1 was "Don't screw around."

Posted by: dogfish at November 21, 2010 05:28 PM (IEeCh)

7 That thread is not living which can eternal lie, and with strange eons, even a dead thread may die.

Posted by: Trimegistus at November 21, 2010 05:33 PM (9Ieog)

8 The Great Old Ones make the rules.

Posted by: toby928™ at November 21, 2010 05:33 PM (S5YRY)

9 Seriously, the thing about "quickie" is giving me horrible visions of Wicket. Make it stop.

Posted by: cthulhu at November 21, 2010 05:33 PM (kaalw)

10 Shouldn't you be asleep in your underwater lair or something?

Posted by: joncelli at November 21, 2010 05:34 PM (MLQL2)

11 and destroy the minds of man, but mostly ...

Posted by: toby928™ at November 21, 2010 05:34 PM (S5YRY)

12 have great plans for an extended post tomorrow about new developments in the application of rhetorical devices and their effects on postprandial diversions....

Oh, for Pete's sake, everyone knows you should wait 30 minutes after you eat to go in the pool.

Posted by: huerfano at November 21, 2010 05:34 PM (QgmBR)

13 The Great Old Ones make the rules.

Posted by: toby928Â™ at November 21, 2010 09:33 PM (S5YRY)

Not to the shoggoths they don't

Posted by: Oldcat at November 21, 2010 05:34 PM (CN+Qv)

14 Rules you say?

Alright, where the fuck am I, really?

Posted by: ontherocks at November 21, 2010 05:35 PM (HBqDo)

15 wow, another post?
pretty soon the ratio of posts to comments will approach 1

Posted by: chemjeff at November 21, 2010 05:36 PM (PaSAU)

16 Alright, where the fuck am I, really?

Posted by: ontherocks at November 21, 2010 09:35 PM (HBqDo)

Somebody kidnapped Ace in order to use him in unspeakable rituals somewhere in the swamps of Louisiana.

Posted by: joncelli at November 21, 2010 05:37 PM (MLQL2)

17 So, are we compelled to post in a thread of the Old Ones, or did we just lose our souls? Meh, couldn't be worse than an ONT.

Posted by: blaster at November 21, 2010 05:39 PM (MrMxG)

Somebody kidnapped Ace in order to use him in unspeakable rituals somewhere in the swamps of Louisiana.

Posted by: joncelli at November 21, 2010 09:37 PM

I thought the unspeakable rituals in Louisiana took place in February or March and involved beads and breasts.

Posted by: huerfano at November 21, 2010 05:41 PM (QgmBR)

19 Hey wait, my Rule 1 was "$2 per word."

Posted by: Rajiv Vindaloo at November 21, 2010 05:41 PM (BZ2Bm)

20 Cthulhu, baseball has been very very good to me, I think?

Posted by: That Guy at November 21, 2010 05:41 PM (JpFM9)

21 16 wow, another post?
pretty soon the ratio of posts to comments will approach 1

Posted by: chemjeff at November 21, 2010 09:36 PM (PaSAU)

Ace's Rules of Open Blogging #47: "Always allow an hour between posts, unless it's just you double-posting."

Last one was an hour and twenty minutes ago -- I'm golden!

Posted by: cthulhu at November 21, 2010 05:42 PM (kaalw)

22 Got my blue nitrile latex gloves at the ready. Get in line.

Posted by: last name first, first name second name last at November 21, 2010 05:42 PM (35t5c)

23 Rule #4

Double post.

Posted by: Zombie Ace at November 21, 2010 05:42 PM (JpFM9)

Somebody kidnapped Ace in order to use him in unspeakable rituals somewhere in the swamps of Louisiana.

Posted by: joncelli at November 21, 2010 09:37 PM

I see Wicket has moved up from Marco Rubio's garbage...

Posted by: Marie Obamaette at November 21, 2010 05:43 PM (bgcml)

25 Hi dad. Like my new horn-do?

Posted by: Hellboy at November 21, 2010 05:44 PM (bgcml)

Somebody kidnapped Ace in order to use him in unspeakable rituals somewhere in the swamps of Louisiana.

Posted by: joncelli at November 21, 2010 09:37 PM (MLQL2)

I can live with that part, it's this rule thing that's got me a little shook up.

It just sounds like a slippery slope to pat downs and that's gonna get ugly real quick.

Posted by: ontherocks at November 21, 2010 05:44 PM (HBqDo)

Postprandial diversions sounds like a colostomy to me.

Posted by: Hammer at November 21, 2010 05:44 PM (hVGDL)

Somebody kidnapped Ace in order to use him in unspeakable rituals somewhere in the swamps of Louisiana.

Posted by: joncelli at November 21, 2010 09:37 PM

I see Wicket has moved up from Marco Rubio's garbage...
Posted by: Marie Obamaette at November 21, 2010 09:43 PM

That's a nutria.

Posted by: huerfano at November 21, 2010 05:44 PM (QgmBR)

29 It just sounds like a slippery slope to pat downs

Promises, promises ...

Posted by: toby928™ at November 21, 2010 05:47 PM (S5YRY)

30 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pd5gWGfnK5M

Posted by: ktnxbai *cough* at November 21, 2010 05:49 PM (VY5Gz)

31 Rules? We don't need no stinking rules! It AoSHQ!

http://tinyurl.com/32zkrf8

Posted by: Zombie Ace at November 21, 2010 05:49 PM (JpFM9)

32 Ace has the Innsmouth look. He may have moved back to the dark city off the coast of Massachusetts.

Posted by: Oldcat at November 21, 2010 05:50 PM (CN+Qv)

33 While D'oh was away on a Scout campout last night, I cuddled up in bed with teh kittehs and caught up on all the South Park eps I've missed.

Good times. I'm still pissed they didn't go after Mohammed as vigorously as they did every sacred cow of Christianity and Judaism.

Favorite ep of the night: Real Hos of NJ and Jersey Shore Hos vs. South Park.

Weirdest moment: South Park folk call on Osama bin Ladin to save the day.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 21, 2010 05:50 PM (UOM48)

34 16 wow, another post? pretty soon the ratio of posts to comments will approach 1 Per Ace: When the blog is running on all cylinders, we shoot for one post every half hour or forty minutes.

Posted by: Rajiv Vindaloo at November 21, 2010 05:51 PM (BZ2Bm)

35 Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Ace R'lyeh wagn'nagl fhtagn.

Posted by: nickless© at November 21, 2010 05:51 PM (MMC8r)

36 Ace's last post was from a steel cylinder held by the Fungi from Yuggoth.

Posted by: Oldcat at November 21, 2010 05:53 PM (CN+Qv)

37 Inmates. Asylum. Control.

That is all.

Posted by: MrScribbler© at November 21, 2010 05:53 PM (Ulu3i)

38 38 Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Ace R'lyeh wagn'nagl fhtagn.

Posted by: nicklessÂ© at November 21, 2010 09:51 PM (MMC8r)

Take a deep breath and cough that nasty shit up you'll feel better.

Posted by: ontherocks at November 21, 2010 05:54 PM (HBqDo)

39 Well, I'm off to warm up for the Walking Dead.

Ermm....or whatever.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 21, 2010 05:54 PM (UOM48)

40 And the Fungi are pissed that Yuggoth is no longer considered a planet.

Posted by: Oldcat at November 21, 2010 05:54 PM (CN+Qv)

41 Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Ace R'lyeh wagn'nagl fhtagn. Posted by: nicklessÂ© at November 21, 2010 09:51 PM

I call that bold talk for a one-eyed fat man.

Posted by: Ned Pepper at November 21, 2010 05:54 PM (QgmBR)

42 Is OpenBlogger sort of like the Unknown Comic on the old Gong Show?

Posted by: TexasJew at November 21, 2010 05:56 PM (gRluJ)

43 16 wow, another post?
pretty soon the ratio of posts to comments will approach 1

It beggars the imagine how the mediocrity of all these posts can go any lower, but never underestimate the resourcefulness of a moron co-blogger.

Posted by: CoolCzech at November 21, 2010 05:56 PM (tJjm/)

44 It's the Lithium, Stupid.

Posted by: TexasJew at November 21, 2010 05:57 PM (gRluJ)

45 47 I'm beginning to suspect that 'open blogger' is code for 'Ace is hung over, again'.

And your point?

Posted by: Zombie Ace at November 21, 2010 05:58 PM (JpFM9)

moonbeam brown and boxer win in cali...pot fails...

whats wrong with this?

Posted by: last name first, first name second name last at November 21, 2010 06:02 PM (35t5c)

47 Oh please, ace has been phonin' it in - the co-co-blogger stuff is a breath of fresh air.

Unless we count the Drew/Ace/O'Donnel/Castle fisting frenzy.

Drew wants it RINO style.. dry, fast and no kissing.

Posted by: 13times at November 21, 2010 06:03 PM (h6XiD)

48 Did the entire cabal go on vacation, or just the inner circle?

Posted by: toby928™ at November 21, 2010 06:05 PM (S5YRY)

Who is this Ace, anyway? Has anyone ever seen him and Joe Biden at the same time?

What are the odds that there are two of them among 300 million? Among six billion?

Posted by: MarkD at November 21, 2010 06:43 PM (0Jy1K)

50 Really?

Ace is on "on strike" and he took management with him?

Yeah, I guess the intar-webz are more strange than you or I could imagine, Horatio!

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Posted by: fsafs46 at November 22, 2010 04:01 AM (ugJNE)

52 Cthulhu Influences Debt Commission Debate

Posted by: Russ Lewis at November 22, 2010 06:41 AM (nF4Jh)

53 In after the spam! Cthulu ftagn!!!

Posted by: SGT Dan at November 22, 2010 08:26 AM (GgXZc)

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