Ace of Spades HQ

October 15, 2010

iowahawk: The Presidential Adventure Game
— Maetenloch

As usual iowahawk has come up with another pitch-perfect parody - this time of a text adventure game from the 80's as played by a certain up-and-coming Senator from Illinois:

WELCOME TO ADVENTURE! WOULD YOU LIKE INSTRUCTIONS?
>YES
YOU ARE SOMEWHERE IN BELTWAY FOREST, WHERE SOME HAVE FOUND TREASURES OF GOLD ALTHOUGH SOME HAVE ENTERED AND NEVER BEEN SEEN AGAIN. MAGIC IS SAID TO WORK IN THE FOREST. I WILL BE YOUR EYES AND HANDS. DIRECT ME WITH SIMPLE COMMANDS.
YOU ARE IN AN OVAL OFFICE. THERE IS SNOW OUTSIDE. YOU ARE BEHIND A DESK. ON DESK THERE IS A BUST OF CHURCHILL.
YOU HAVE A CONGRESS.
YOU HAVE A SENATE.
YOU HAVE A MEDIA.
YOU HAVE A TELEPROMPTER.
YOU HAVE A MILITARY.
YOU HAVE A BIG JET.
YOU HAVE $3 TRILLION OF GOLD.
YOU HAVE 82% APPROVAL HEALTH.
THERE IS 7.2% UNEMPLOYMENT IN THE FOREST.
YOU HAVE A RACE CARD.
YOU HAVE INAUGURAL PARTY LEFTOVERS.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

You can read the rest here to find out how the adventure ends.

Posted by: Maetenloch at 04:20 PM | Comments (111)
Post contains 184 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Awesome piece. Especially if you've ever played Adventure. But even if you haven't, not hard to get the rhythm of it. Almost choked with laughter.

Posted by: Splunge at October 15, 2010 04:23 PM (9uwvY)

2 Computer games are racist

Posted by: The State Media at October 15, 2010 04:23 PM (bgcml)

3 Hey...no one owns us...uh one second

/Checks email

No one owns us and Obama is O-some.

Dammit, why can't he learn how to spell?!? Do we really have to spell check every single one of this talking points memos? Really?

Uh, was that on camera?

Posted by: The State Media at October 15, 2010 04:25 PM (bgcml)

4 Iowahawk once again brings teh funneh

Posted by: Unclefacts, AoSHQ Pro Debate Team at October 15, 2010 04:26 PM (eCAn3)

5 This is my favorite part:

WHOA. FOR A MINUTE THERE I THOUGHT YOU TYPED 'TURN LEFT'.

>I DID! TURN LEFT

UMM, ANY PARTICULAR REASON?

>ENERGIZE BASE

BY "BASE", DO YOU MEAN THAT REPULSIVE COLLECTION OF SNIDE FUCKWIT URBAN HIPSTER TWATS?

HOW?

>CAR DITCH SLURPEE JOKE

BASE ENERGY FAIL. STIMULUS FAIL. HEALTH CARE FAIL. TARP FAIL.

Posted by: Blue Hen at October 15, 2010 04:26 PM (1O93r)

6 I think Obie got stuck on BAR BAR BAR Oh, wait, that's Zork. Uh, someone told me that...

Posted by: richard mcenroe at October 15, 2010 04:27 PM (N82L2)

7 I hope the Hawk follows up with an Adventure game for FLOTUS.

Posted by: PA Cat at October 15, 2010 04:27 PM (BX3Vo)

Just read this over at Iowahawk and he is pitch perfect. I did notice that he got quite a few things out of sequence but this is perfect>

There is no Escape key.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

There is no Escape key.

Posted by: Have Blue at October 15, 2010 04:28 PM (mV+es)

Outstanding.

Posted by: Delta Smelt at October 15, 2010 04:29 PM (A0VTZ)

10 RITFLMAO

Posted by: Vic at October 15, 2010 04:29 PM (/jbAw)

11
The FLOTUS has the most magnificent arms ever, and my opinion is based upon glowing reviews in Der Spiegel, Cosmo, and Hog Hunters.

Posted by: Larry the Cable Guy at October 15, 2010 04:30 PM (v1gw3)

12 Oh,we can get him an escape key.

Posted by: America at October 15, 2010 04:31 PM (rugZw)

13
I'M SORRY, THAT DID NOT WORK. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

heh

Posted by: Soothsayer at October 15, 2010 04:33 PM (TeF6E)

14 "BY "BASE", DO YOU MEAN THAT REPULSIVE COLLECTION OF SNIDE FUCKWIT URBAN HIPSTER TWATS?"

LOL!

Posted by: CoolCzech at October 15, 2010 04:33 PM (tJjm/)

BY "BASE", DO YOU MEAN THAT REPULSIVE COLLECTION OF SNIDE FUCKWIT URBAN HIPSTER TWATS?

Gold.

Posted by: Delta Smelt at October 15, 2010 04:34 PM (A0VTZ)

16
LOL!

Posted by: CoolCzech at October 15, 2010 08:33 PM (tJjm/)

Great minds....

Posted by: Delta Smelt at October 15, 2010 04:34 PM (A0VTZ)

17 That was really, really good.

Posted by: Mostlyright at October 15, 2010 04:35 PM (LaqL2)

18
I have a feeling this is gonna read on the air by every single radio talk show host in the country, next week.

Posted by: Soothsayer at October 15, 2010 04:36 PM (TeF6E)

19 CONGRESSMAN FRANK, YOUR BOYFRIEND RAN A MALE PROSTITUTE RING FROM YOUR APARTMENT WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

> THE TALL ONE WITH THE TIGHT BUNS!

Posted by: CoolCzech at October 15, 2010 04:37 PM (tJjm/)

20 I'm going to read it again. I may have missed something the first time through when I peed in my pants and got rib cramps.

Posted by: dagny at October 15, 2010 04:38 PM (irfBG)

21 I have a feeling this is gonna read on the air by every single radio talk show host in the country, next week.
Posted by: Soothsayer

I'd only work if they used a 'synth voice' for the computer replies.

Posted by: Garbonzo the Garrulous at October 15, 2010 04:38 PM (23kaI)

22 I never played Adventure but this was close enough to Zork for me to relate to it. In fact it was close enough to any sci-fi movie featuring a computer for anyone to relate to it.

As always from Iowahawk, both brilliant and funny as hell.

Posted by: Ed Anger at October 15, 2010 04:40 PM (7+pP9)

>MIDEAST

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO THERE?

>APOLOGY SPEECH

YOU ARE IN A PALACE. YOU ARE STANDING IN FRONT OF FAT KING. HE SMELLS BAD. HE IS WEARING BED SHEET. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

>BOW

Posted by: dagny at October 15, 2010 04:40 PM (irfBG)

24
Set this script to a computer-voice and an Obama impersonator (with the sound effect of keyboard typing) and this would be a huge hit!

Posted by: Soothsayer at October 15, 2010 04:40 PM (En7xg)

25 I'd only work if they used a 'synth voice' for the computer replies.

Posted by: Garbonzo the Garrulous at October 15, 2010 08:38 PM (23kaI)

Is Steven Hawking available?

Posted by: Delta Smelt at October 15, 2010 04:41 PM (A0VTZ)

26 OK, before we all start sucking each others dicks, is there anyway we can work tits into this thread?

( * Y * )

Posted by: CoolCzech at October 15, 2010 04:43 PM (tJjm/)

27 Where's the robot animation?

Posted by: huerfano at October 15, 2010 04:43 PM (No0N3)

28
My favorite part:

>BLAME BUSH

I'M SORRY, THAT DOESN'T WORK ANYMORE.

>PLAY RACE CARD

I'M SORRY, THAT DOESN'T WORK ANYMORE.

>PLAY GOLF

GOLF COURSE IS CLOSED.

>TURN LEFT

DUDE.

Posted by: Golem14 at October 15, 2010 04:45 PM (2X8VA)

29 Oh, happy day! A cultural reference on AoSHQ that I can completely understand and relate to!

oops, gotta go wind up the Victrola now.

Posted by: Otis Criblecoblis at October 15, 2010 04:45 PM (kJXs1)

30 Do I smell a whumpus? (With toned arms?)

Posted by: Cursor with a curved arrow, ducking bats at October 15, 2010 04:45 PM (mS0Qv)

WHERE DO YOU WANT GOLD TO GO TO?

>CONSTRUCTION SIGNS, WHATEVER

Epic.

I mean, it doesn't get much better than that does it??

Posted by: laceyunderalls at October 15, 2010 04:46 PM (uVrBB)

It was very, very funny, but also realistic enough to depress me. Wonderful work, Mr. Hawk, sir.

Posted by: Mama AJ at October 15, 2010 04:47 PM (XdlcF)

ENTER TOP PRIORITIES SEPARATED BY COMMAS.

>HEALTH CARE, CHILDHOOD OBESITY, ECONOMY, GAS MILEAGE, GITMO, JOBS, CONSTRUCTION SIGNS, LIGHT RAIL, MUSLIM SELF ESTEEM, GOLF HANDICAP, WAR

Even better the second time through

Posted by: dagny at October 15, 2010 04:47 PM (irfBG)

34 It is the ultimate breakdown

Posted by: Dblwmy at October 15, 2010 04:48 PM (9CYWV)

35 Pure gold.

Posted by: sTevo at October 15, 2010 04:48 PM (VMcEw)

36 You are in a maze of twisty little Democrats, all alike. You are in a twisted maze of little Democrats, all alike. You are in a twisty little maze of Democrats, all alike.

Posted by: stuiec at October 15, 2010 04:48 PM (krBZl)

37 I'd laugh harder if it wasn't so close to the truth.

Posted by: CoolCzech at October 15, 2010 04:48 PM (tJjm/)

38 This is dying to be made into a sketch- great stuff. And yes, completely depressing.

Posted by: jjshaka at October 15, 2010 04:49 PM (KpKsU)

39 They had better send this to McGraw-Hill. It's the definitive piece on the first 2 years of the Obama admin. They can just reprint it in the books.

Posted by: dagny at October 15, 2010 04:50 PM (irfBG)

40 Would you believe...Leisure Suit Barry??

Posted by: Mama AJ at October 15, 2010 04:50 PM (XdlcF)

41 Dennis Miller should give this a shout out. And Gutfeld.

Posted by: Delta Smelt at October 15, 2010 04:50 PM (A0VTZ)

42
let me take a crack at this...

/cracks knuckles

Posted by: Soothsayer at October 15, 2010 04:51 PM (En7xg)

43 Obama Still Smoking

Posted by: TC at October 15, 2010 04:52 PM (BAtLQ)

heh. Don't threaten a reporter on camera, especially if you are Jay Levine, Chicago reporter, & you're trying to protect Rhamulus Ballerinus.

Go to jail. Do not collect $200. In Chicago, no less.

http://tiny.cc/m4jhjhu5e6

Posted by: Steph at October 15, 2010 04:52 PM (ZfkPl)

45 Posted by: Delta Smelt at October 15, 2010 08:50 PM (A0VTZ)

Perfect for Red Eye Robot Theatre...

Posted by: phreshone at October 15, 2010 04:53 PM (1AnxB)

46 Absolutely perfect. The constructions signs, whatever made me fall off the couch.

Posted by: alexthechick at October 15, 2010 04:54 PM (bQ5xy)

47 THERE IS NOTHING REMOTELY FUNNY ABOUT THIS AWESOMELY COMPETENT PRESIDENT.

Posted by: State Owned Media "Comedy" Writers at October 15, 2010 04:54 PM (iJXub)

48
YOU ARE IN AN OVAL OFFICE. YOU RECEIVE PHONE CALL ABOUT AN OIL RIG EXPLOSION IN THE GULF. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

>BLAME GREEDY BIG OIL

OIL LEAK WILL NOT STOP. PEASANTS GROWING IMPATIENT. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

>USE DAUGHTER AS SHIELD.

Posted by: Soothsayer at October 15, 2010 04:54 PM (TeF6E)

49 XYZZY
Foo, you are a charlatain!

Posted by: KF at October 15, 2010 04:55 PM (ytCsK)

50
>DNCORNHOLIO

WRONG GAME.

Posted by: Golem14 at October 15, 2010 04:56 PM (2X8VA)

51 Hmmm. I don't recall ever seeing "WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?" when playing Colossal Cave Adventure...

Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at October 15, 2010 04:57 PM (fxACH)

52 glittering prizes

Posted by: Ben Bernanke at October 15, 2010 04:58 PM (iJXub)

53
btw, 'print gold' was the best line

Posted by: Soothsayer at October 15, 2010 04:59 PM (TeF6E)

54 I'm hungry

Posted by: the grue at October 15, 2010 05:01 PM (zBvJD)

Hannity's hair is interviewing McDonnell's hair.

Live!

Posted by: Delta Smelt at October 15, 2010 05:03 PM (A0VTZ)

56
Democrat media blackout in Ohio.

Posted by: Huffington, Oprah, Colbert and Stewart at October 15, 2010 05:03 PM (0fzsA)

57 Hmmm, yeah, one insider reference to Adventure would have been a nice touch.

> PRINT GOLD

WITH WHAT? YOUR BARE HANDS?

Posted by: Splunge at October 15, 2010 05:04 PM (9uwvY)

58 It's gold, Jerry!

Posted by: Kenny Banya at October 15, 2010 05:04 PM (1XfJ/)

59 26 OK, before we all start sucking each others dicks, is there anyway we can work tits into this thread?

( * Y * )

Posted by: CoolCzech at October 15, 2010 08:43 PM (tJjm/)

H2 has some nice ones up.

(.) (.)

Posted by: The inexplicable Dr. Julius Strangepork at October 15, 2010 05:07 PM (twq6c)

60 This was awesome! I was also reminded of those choose your own adventure books. Good times.

Posted by: Trish at October 15, 2010 05:08 PM (yqhkv)

61 that was so good I had to share it. I wonder how many of my FB 'friends' will be not amused? Not a lot of liberals in that circle but certainly a few, but Iowahawk is way more funny than snarky with this one IMO.

Posted by: PaleRider at October 15, 2010 05:08 PM (dkExz)

62 This Obama guy really is a grandiose motherfucker, isn't he?

Posted by: Dimwit Flathead the Excessive at October 15, 2010 05:09 PM (zBvJD)

63 You are in a tongue bath of twisted little media lapdogs, all alike

Posted by: aMesSNBC at October 15, 2010 05:13 PM (kb0wl)

64 Heh. RCP says that some of the CA Boxer/Fiorina polls have a higher precentage of democrats than, wait for it, 2008. Seems unlikely?

Posted by: dagny at October 15, 2010 05:13 PM (irfBG)

65 Mr. Hawk Sir, that was good.

Posted by: 141Driver at October 15, 2010 05:14 PM (DXa7u)

66 This was an early version of Doom?

Posted by: dagny at October 15, 2010 05:14 PM (irfBG)

67 that was good. thanks for the link

Posted by: unseen at October 15, 2010 05:18 PM (aVGmX)

68 Posted by: dagny at October 15, 2010 09:14 PM

"colossal cave adventure" - one of the earliest computer games

Posted by: aMesSNBC at October 15, 2010 05:21 PM (kb0wl)

69 69 Posted by: dagny at October 15, 2010 09:14 PM "colossal cave adventure" - one of the earliest computer games Posted by: aMesSNBC at October 15, 2010 09:21 PM (kb0wl) I once played Colossal Colon Adventure on TV!

Posted by: Katie Couric at October 15, 2010 05:21 PM (tJjm/)

70 69 Yeah, I know, I played it. I was making a joke about the relationship between our president's regime and the title to the currently popular xbox game.

Posted by: dagny at October 15, 2010 05:22 PM (irfBG)

71 Yeah, I know, I played it. I was making a joke about the relationship between our president's regime and the title to the currently popular xbox game.

Posted by: dagny at October 15, 2010 09:22 PM (irfBG)

Que? Which Xbox game, if only to avoid confusing Kratos.

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at October 15, 2010 05:24 PM (hPU8C)

72 Posted by: dagny at October 15, 2010 09:22 PM

(heh) ok - kinda like "castle wolfenstein" with a bunch of angry "Bo" dogs.

Posted by: aMesSNBC at October 15, 2010 05:26 PM (kb0wl)

73 I guess Doom was computer and Halo was XBox. Whichever. I can't play them, they make me motion sick and my sons have grown past them. I do have a dorky nephew who plays so my references are just in passing.

Posted by: dagny at October 15, 2010 05:26 PM (irfBG)

74 THERE ARE A LOT MORE PEASANTS OUT THERE THAN YOU THOUGHT.

Bwahaha.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at October 15, 2010 05:26 PM (Vz9lf)

75 That might be the single best, most original piece of post-modern satire over the past ten years. Daily Show my fuckin' balls. Iowahawk, you are a fuckin' genius. No, really. A fuckin' genius!

Posted by: JDW at October 15, 2010 05:27 PM (pgFlh)

76 Makes me wish my computer still talked to blogger so I could link it. Lots of, slightly painful, laughs that deserve to be shared.

Posted by: Polliwog at October 15, 2010 05:30 PM (Pp0rM)

77 It's one of those articles that's so damn good, funny, and, again, original, that I don't think we really get just how damn good, funny, and original it is. Read it again, morons, because you haven't read anything like it before online. So freakin' spot on!

Posted by: JDW at October 15, 2010 05:30 PM (pgFlh)

78 I think I still have an Infocom editor laying around on a spare HD.

Posted by: Jean at October 15, 2010 05:31 PM (CPefM)

79 I guess Doom was computer and Halo was XBox. Whichever. I can't play them, they make me motion sick and my sons have grown past them. I do have a dorky nephew who plays so my references are just in passing.

Posted by: dagny at October 15, 2010 09:26 PM (irfBG)

And here I was thinking it was going to be a racist Call of Duty: Black Ops reference.

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at October 15, 2010 05:31 PM (hPU8C)

Posted by: Cerebral Paul Z. at October 15, 2010 05:39 PM (XpM53)

81 ^{Biden - "Obama Has A Brain Bigger Than His Skull"}

Posted by: aMesSNBC at October 15, 2010 05:41 PM (kb0wl)

82 WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

> ORDER IRS TO AUDIT IOWAHAWK

Posted by: Jean at October 15, 2010 05:43 PM (CPefM)

83 Posted by: Blue Hen at October 15, 2010 08:26 PM (1O93r)

Nailed it!

Posted by: Roger at October 15, 2010 05:51 PM (tAwhy)

YOU ARE IN AN OVAL OFFICE. YOU ARE WITH GENERALS. AFGHANISTAN IS GOING BAD. IRAN IS BUILDING NUCLEAR BOMBS. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

>PLAY GOLF

as several people have already said, hilarious with too much truth, which makes it brilliant as well as hilarious. Burge at his best is almost without equal, and most of us would have never known of him without the internet, which is an example of why the lefties want to regulate it.

Posted by: mallfly at October 15, 2010 05:52 PM (W6bJb)

85 Utterly brilliant!

Posted by: MCPO Airdale at October 15, 2010 05:53 PM (G5qLy)

86 Patience is a virtue,
unless your country dies.

Posted by: rogue at October 15, 2010 05:56 PM (vQoSF)

87 PLUGH

Posted by: Anachronda at October 15, 2010 06:00 PM (6fER6)

88 Outrageously clever!

Posted by: Boris Yeltsin at October 15, 2010 06:00 PM (4sQwu)

89 One of his best ever.

Posted by: logprof at October 15, 2010 06:05 PM (BP6Z1)

YOU ARE IN PARADISE, SURROUNDED BY 72 VIRGINS. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

>PLAY GOLF

Posted by: befuddled at October 15, 2010 06:10 PM (xJU23)

91 Thank you for the laugh!

Posted by: RPL at October 15, 2010 06:14 PM (LPI97)

92 90 PLUGH

Posted by: Anachronda at October 15, 2010 10:00 PM (6fER6)

You skip to freedom!!

Posted by: BEDLAM at October 15, 2010 06:28 PM (BP6Z1)

IOWAHAWK, YOU ARE SITTING IN FRONT OF YOUR COMPUTER. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

>BRING TEH FUNNEH

SUCCESS!

(Iowahawk, your mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives...)

Posted by: Warthog at October 15, 2010 06:30 PM (HayDR)

YOU HAVE SCORED 1 POINTS.

THIS GIVES YOU THE RANK OF SECRETARY-GENERAL, UNITED NATIONS .

Posted by: TRS-80 at October 15, 2010 07:42 PM (fjbys)

95 SO MUCH WIN!

Dude, all we need is a DOS prompt, some BASIC skillz, and a copy of Fraps and we can make a hella Youtube adaptation of that.

Posted by: seguin at October 15, 2010 07:50 PM (y0Y96)

96 Although it was already firmly established in my mind that Iowahawk is the funniest dude on the planet, I have never had the balls to post a link to one of his masterpieces on my Facebook page for all the (primarily lib) friends and associates to see. What can I say? I try to maintain a semi-stealth mode of conservatism and I'm a spineless coward. But this was too good. I had to come out of the closet. I think there's a slight chance that my gaming inclined lib friends will actually read this and laugh at their Obamessiah.

Posted by: Y-not at October 15, 2010 08:16 PM (osFsP)

97 I SEE NO PREZNINT HERE.

Posted by: ya2daup at October 15, 2010 08:48 PM (yRrAd)

98
"ADVENTURER PLEASE, YOU'RE JUST EMBARRASING YOURSELF.

>"

... destined to be used all over teh interwebz.

Posted by: Arbalest at October 15, 2010 09:27 PM (Fpx+H)

99 GET YE FLASKE

Posted by: Smash'em at October 15, 2010 09:50 PM (0fOi9)

100 Forward the piece far and wide.

Posted by: Lamont Sanford at October 15, 2010 10:37 PM (Ojzt3)

101 Man, that's older than the 80's. Old Unix game, "Hunt the Wumpus". "You are in a maze of twisty passages, all alike"

Posted by: mer at October 15, 2010 10:42 PM (WM7U2)

102 IT'S DARK. YOU HEAR A GRUE.

Posted by: Kristopher at October 15, 2010 11:11 PM (aAof6)

103 Absolutely a blast from the past. Funny as hell. Great job. No, not you Obama.

Posted by: ken at October 16, 2010 03:58 AM (3Y3fS)

104 Mr President please ignore anything written by Iowahawk... the race card and blaming Bush still work so keep using them.

Posted by: Your MSNBC Friends at October 16, 2010 08:01 AM (tsQ/F)

105 Turn left. > Turn left on which axis and from which observer frame of reference? Yknow... >No. I don't know. Oh shit. >Sorry, I do not understand "Oh shit." Well, Fuck! Uh, my frame of reference on the z-axis? > You turn left on the z-axis from your own frame of reference. You see a lot of utopian horse shit glittering up in the sky. Fuck who? hah! Uh...Fuck the American people. LOL. > In the ass or just regular fucking? Hee Hee...Both. > You only have permission to fuck 30% of the american people. Which of the American people do you want to fuck? Fuck 'em all! Ha Ha! > I don't understand "'em". Sigh. This parser is so weak. Fuck them all! > How roughly do you want to fuck them? 1-8? Uh...6.85 > Sorry, I only understand integers. 7 then. > You fuck 100% of the american people both regular and in the ass with roughness level of 7. You have earned six asshole points. You are now a 70% rapist. Your Gallup score has dropped. You now only have permission to fuck 25% of the American people and 8 % of those claim that they have a head ache. Kos is blogging about what a retard you are. Klugman is complaining that you did not fuck him in the ass hard enough. (Klugman can not be fucked the regular way) Chris Matthews has lost his tingle. Oh no! Um...Fuck 100% American people roughness -7 > Sorry. You can't un-fuck people you've already fucked. Yet. Maybe if you had a time machine.... Look for Time machine. > You don't see a time machine anywhere. Go left. > You think you appear to be slightly closer to the utopian bullshit glittering in the sky. Craft Legislation to discover location of time machine. > The american people think time machines do not exist. You sound crazy to them. You have earned four asshole points. Your Gallup score has dropped. You have earned the title of idiot. Jon Stewart is making fun of You. Stephen Colbert wants you to fuck everybody in the ass again. (Sephen Colbert can not be fucked i the regular way.). O'Reilly had Tanya Rheiman look at your body language and concluded that you are a pin-head. Sean Hannity is wearing a trucker hat with your picture on it with a line through it. Glenn Beck is crying and sticking magnets to a chalk board. Quit. > You can't quit until November.

Posted by: cackfinger at October 16, 2010 08:20 AM (TUBcJ)

106 You'd think Iowahawk sits at home and clowns around cracking himself up. But the guy is a muckety in some real company and he works a lot. He's a somewhat impressive little fellow.

Posted by: spongeworthy at October 16, 2010 08:31 AM (rplL3)

107 That was awesome, amazing, and incredibly impressive... Iowahawk wins for sure.

Now I can tell the two comedic writers who I only occasionally read apart... Treacher is the one who got the job Iowahawk should have had.

Yeah, I went there...

On a separate topic; does anyone remember the game, or the exact syntax where; when it couldn't understand you; it went with something like:

It's a riddle, wrapped in an enigma, shrouded in mystery; and hidden behind the fridge.

As far as the "I don't understand what you typed" message; that had to be my favorite.

Posted by: Gekkobear at October 16, 2010 10:30 AM (OAJ4q)

108 iowahawk has written so many great satire pieces . . . this one may be the best yet. brilliant -- again

Posted by: texasmamma at October 16, 2010 11:47 AM (4L69q)

109

He needs Hillary's reset button for his whole presidency- can we start over now?

It's been a long 2 years, hasn't it-

Posted by: Beckaholic at October 16, 2010 12:17 PM (x3oLQ)

110

After reading Iowahawk last night and Chris Muir's Day by Day cartoon today, I feeling like I'm trapped in Twilight Zone episode that is a hybrid BET remake of the movie BIG (tom hanks) and Dr. Strangelove (Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love The Bomb).

We are truly and royally f......

Posted by: twolaneflash at October 17, 2010 07:26 AM (LQItC)

111 www.sneakers-trade.com

Posted by: low price air jordans at March 09, 2011 09:59 PM (51bfE)

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