1 Remember when punks and cowards could be--shoot, were expected to be--flogged in public?

2 One point, though: There is exactly one funny line in this, near the end, when the British Christian guy is telling Stewart that Jews shouldn't wear yalmulkes on Good Friday. And it is a damned good line. That exchange begins at 7:00 and ends at 7:45, in case you want to skip the rest of it, which I don't blame you at all for doing.

--Would someone give me the run-down on that?  I can't watch the vid in Canada.

3 His name is Jon Liebowitz.

4 The Christian guy is saying one day, one day of the year Jews must tone it down and not wear their yarmulkes, the one day when they successfully murdered our Lord Jesus Christ, and Stewart says "That's not fair, I'm offended," and the guy says, "One day! One single day you have to be respectful and not wear your *murder-caps*!"

5 Also this coming from an asshole on the same network that blacks out any depiction of mohammed but yet will show cartoons of Jesus getting his throat slit and doing blow.

6

I pray for you anyway, John.

I pray for Bill Mahr, too.  Partly because I imagine doing so gives him the jibblies.

7 I mean that's a good joke but... it's so old. It's a variation on such an old old joke. I did that same basic joke 600x with the Scandis and it was ancient when I did it too.

8

OT

Pirates? What pirates?

9 Sorry, Jon, Islam's not playground-friendly either:

Planet Iran Exclusive: Iranian regimeÂ’s sanctioned brothels at Imam RezaÂ’s shrine in MashÂ’had

"To that end, we call on all our sisters who are virgins, who are between the ages of 12 and 35 to cooperate with us. Each of our sisters who signs up will be bound by a two year contract with the province of the QudsÂ’eh-Razavi of Khorassan and will be required to spend at least 25 days of each month temporarily married to those brothers who are on pilgrimage."

10 OT Pirates? What pirates? Posted by: maddogg at August 17, 2010 03:48 PM (OlN4e) That is why giving Terrorists and Pirates the same rights as US Citizens and trying them in a Civilian Court is insane

11 Fuck Jon Stewart. He gets to lay down every night and live with the fact that he's just a partisan hack and an intellectually-dishonest version of a poor man's xerox of Glenn Beck's shadow.

Bernie Goldberg had the best line on him: a safe Jay Leno with a smaller audience.

12

But we're apparently allowed to joke about Judaism and Christianity (including Catholicism). One religion, however, remains above such blasphemies, and that makes it frighteningly close to an official religion protected by the state, and even more so by critical institutions.

Only commoners do that.  Not elites.  You simpleton.

13 I really love how these assholes refer to anything that hurts the left as "nontroversies" or some other name mocking it and acting like it is not really any big deal at all. Yet during the Dubai Ports Deal all these selfsame assholes were saying Arabs were going to take over our ports and kill us.

14 yeah the cobloggers and I are hashing out who will take the pirate post... Gabe is a lawyer and actually has a family connection to the shipping industry so I am trying to get him to do it, but he just did the one on Stolen Valor.

15

Stewart has to shoehorn the humor so badly lately it's not funny at all.  He used to be occasionally funny, especially when dragged kicking and screaming to the humor.

16 Stewart has to shoehorn the humor so badly lately it's not funny at all.  He used to be occasionally funny, especially when dragged kicking and screaming to the humor.

His jokes aren't meant to bring laughs.  They're meant to bring applause.

17

His jokes aren't meant to bring laughs.  They're meant to bring applause.

And when that fail, the applause light comes on.

18 4 The Christian guy is saying one day, one day of the year Jews must tone it down and not wear their yarmulkes, the one day when they successfully murdered our Lord Jesus Christ, and Stewart says "That's not fair, I'm offended," and the guy says, "One day! One single day you have to be respectful and not wear your *murder-caps*!"

Posted by: ace at August 17, 2010 03:47 PM (QbA6l)

--Thanks Ace, and you're right: it's an old joke.

19 Yet during the Dubai Ports Deal all these selfsame assholes were saying Arabs were going to take over our ports and kill us.

Or how Andrew Breitbart was a monster for accidentally doing something Stewart does on purpose 5-6 times every night.

20

especially when dragged kicking and screaming to the humor.

...on the left, that is.

21 Ace, not trying to incite violence or invoke 'some dark apocalyptic fantasy" but there is a reason they leave Islam alone....

piss off enough Muslims and you wind up with a knife in your chest.

Penn and Teller admit it.

Like I lamented after I figured out we were gonna go the "oh no islam means peace" route , this double standard encourages ALL sectarian violence.

22 Stewart is a pretentious cocksucker, fuck him.

23

That judge thinks if you're not dressed like a pirate with a patch over your eye, you're not a pirate.

24

O/T Posted in the oher thread because it's just that ridiculous.

So I get an e-mail from Markos Mousalitas (or however the fuck he spells that) and I'm thinking to myself "why the fuck is that little scrote licker e-mailing me?" before I realized I registered to make a comment during his R2K fiasco (links not included):

Burn the Witch,

Welcome to the Daily Kos action email list. You received this email either because you are a registered member of the Daily Kos community, or because you donated to a Daily Kos operated Act Blue page. To unsubscribe from this list, click here.

Today we're launching a campaign to end the filibuster. Join this campaign by clicking the link below and signing the petition that appears:

Ending the filibuster starts here!

Here's how signing the petition makes a difference.

We'll deliver the petition to every Democratic nominee for Senate and every returning Democratic Senator. When we do, we'll get them on record about whether they agree that the rules of the Senate can, and should, be changed with a simple majority vote on the first day of Congress next year.

Once 51 returning and potential Senators have come out in support, we'll have proven that changing Senate rules is possible with a simple majority vote.

Sign the petition, prove change is possible!

Entrenched power players like Joe Lieberman, Max Baucus, Ben Nelson and Mary Landrieu have all depended on the filibuster to enable Republican obstructionism and water down progressive legislation. Corporate interests have used it to protect themselves by purchasing a few small state Senators on the cheap.

There's no bigger decision Senate Democrats will make next year. The Senate is where good legislation goes to die. Democrats can either change a system that allows a tiny unaccountable minority to thwart the will of the country, or they can continue being part of the problem.

Sign the petition, join the campaign!

Let's get started,

Markos Moulitsas

Founder, Daily Kos

25 Islam isn't a religion, that's why

26 John Stewart is nothing more than a whore. Early on in his career (pre-daily show) he was mildly amusing and had potential to be a decent stand up comic. The man can't have any self-respect. He knows that he and his army of "comedy" writers take things out of context and misrepresent people for the purpose of getting a cheap laugh and/or humiliating them. Humiliation is a BIG NO-NO in Judaism. He also acts like he is smarter than every one else. I remember he showed a clip where President Bush thanked "Mr. Putin and Mrs. Putina..." Queue mug to camera...shrug "Putina?" Queue mindless liberal laughter. The mistake Pres. Bush made was affixing the titles Mr. and Mrs. since they don't exist in Russian. Putin's wife is Putina, Gorbechev's wife is Gobecheva, etc. So, joke was on Stewart. Hate that prick.

27 The one religion that desperately needs criticism, is the one for which it is forbidden.

The Islamic world will never experience its much-needed reformation. Our Western Leftists will ensure they stay in the dark.

28 22 Stewart is a pretentious cocksucker, fuck him.

Posted by: .Unclefacts, AoSHQ Pro Debate Squad, And Summoner Of Meteors. at August 17, 2010 03:54 PM (eCAn3)

I thought that here at the AOSHQ the term is now "sucker of cock."  Try to keep up.

29

"Stewart has to shoehorn the humor so badly lately it's not funny at all.  He used to be occasionally funny, especially when dragged kicking and screaming to the humor."

He's like David Letterman, only younger, and with parents who could afford braces when he was a kid.

30 So I get an e-mail from Markos Mousalitas...

No worries. When the Republicans have the majority, the filibuster will go right back to being a sacred and hallowed institution.

31 Funny aside by Mike Tirico just now on the ESPN radio news: "Gentleman's Quarterly, which is published monthly . . ."

Stupid in their political reporting, stupid in their naming.

(Awaiting comment from the "Big Ten" Conference)

32

Pirates? What pirates?

Posted by: maddogg at August 17, 2010 03:48 PM

Apparently, the judge decided it was not piracy piracy,

Who appointed this mindless fuck? Couldn't have been Jimmuh or Bubba, could it?

33

Jon Stewart, epic douchebag.  He makes so light of what happened there on 9/11 with his snippy "Should we consider the area around Burlington Coat Factory 'hallowed ground?'"  Jackass.

 

34 How can you be a pirate if you don't say "yarr"?

35 Bad sockpuppet, bad.

36 Much like this guys line from Half Baked his audience considers his show much better....on weed.

37 The mistake Pres. Bush made was affixing the titles Mr. and Mrs. since they don't exist in Russian. Putin's wife is Putina, Gorbechev's wife is Gobecheva, etc.

Well, it isn't really a mistake.  It's a reasonable meshing of the cultures.

If you know a Russian couple, you would call them Mr. Ivanov and Mrs. Ivanova.  

Unless their names were something else.

38 23

That judge thinks if you're not dressed like a pirate with a patch over your eye, you're not a pirate.

Posted by: rdbrewer at August 17, 2010 03:55 PM (VNdDa)

Shiver me timbers!!

39

Clown nose ON
Clown nose OFF
Clown nose ON
Clown nose OFF

40 The libtards just don't get how wrong they are on this one.  No one is denying they have a Constitutional right to build that mosque.  They do.  But the only reason they are building there is to shove it in our faces.

One woman on Rush's show today said if the mosque gets built, she will not visit NYC.. will not go to see broadway shows as she has, etc.

So let Bloomberg face the next election with a country that boycotts NYC.  Fuck him.

41

Posted by: Burn the Witch at August 17, 2010 03:56 PM (fLHQe)

 

Wouldn't that be delicious is leftards like Daily Kos can successfully end the filibuster only to lose the Senate in the next election?

42

"No worries. When the Republicans have the majority, the filibuster will go right back to being a sacred and hallowed institution."

My thoughts exactly. 

I wonder if having to pay attention to polls that aren't complete bullshit are making him rethink how Novemeber is gonna pan out.

43 Ah yes, anti-Catholicism: the last remaining acceptable religious prejudice. I always find it richly ironic that the same people who are constantly chiding us to not blame "moderate" Muslims for the actions of their fanatic brethren, have no problem lumping all Catholics together as complicit in the sick perversions of a handful of pedophile priests.

44 Nice prayer mat, who shot the sofa?

45 Posted by: AmishDude at August 17, 2010 04:00 PM (T0NGe) I always used the first name and patronymic.

46 You know why you don't really see anybody parodying Jon Stewart? Because there's nothing there. Beck and Limbaugh are actually interesting, entertaining guys who have a lot to say and believe in what they're saying. Stewart's just some guy who reads his lines, makes a stupid face and then hands the show over to someone else. You could put anybody in that job, and they have, Stewarts the third or fourth Daily Show host, you'd have a hard time replacing Beck or Limbaugh.

47

Islam has gone after authors, film makers, poets, politicians, aid workers, cartoonists, assorted blasphemers, apostates, adulterers, witches, gays, Christians, Buddhists, Hindus, Zoroastrians, singers, actors, a kids park filled with colorful buildings, some ancient statues in Afghanistan, Nikes, music, kites, and a Burger King ice cream cone that I can recall offhand.  I don't mean historically, but over the last few decades in the news.  Jews are a given. 

I understand not wanting to offend twitchy and dangerous people, but unless you want to live under de facto sharia, where none dare blaspheme against the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) or the one true God, Allah (SWT), you'd better protect your right to criticize Islam.  Especially since Islam attempts to govern every action of the true believer from morning to night.  From the first crap of the morning to your 401(k), Islam's got rules for everything!  And if you don't find the rule, request a fatwa from your local imam.  He'll give you a consensus of the scholars or his best opinion.  

Like war, you may not be interested in Islam, but Islam is interested in you.    

 

48 Ah yes, anti-Catholicism: the last remaining acceptable religious prejudice. I always find it richly ironic that the same people who are constantly chiding us to not blame "moderate" Muslims for the actions of their fanatic brethren, have no problem lumping all Catholics together as complicit in the sick perversions of a handful of pedophile priests.

Posted by: Angry Beaver at August 17, 2010 04:03 PM (52JPc)

Annnnnnnnd, teachers (who have an astronomically higher rate of abuse) are held in the highest regard. See a pattern there?

49 who are between the ages of 12 and 35 to cooperate with us

That's just fucking gross.

50

"No worries. When the Republicans have the majority, the filibuster will go right back to being a sacred and hallowed institution."

And Anthony Weener will care about the integrity of Process again.  Wicked tricks like deem 'n pass are simply unacceptable methods of cheating.

And passing anything in the dead-of-night is shady, underhanded, and inherently evil, like the vampyres and bogeymen that lurk in the dark...

And OF COURSE nothing should ever be passed using simple 51-vote majorities, ever.  Because if you can't get 60 votes, then you aren't being bipartisan and open-minded, but are rather simply ramming things through.

51 reason@39,

Yep. Ace's coined-phrase is sure to enter the political lexicon. Team Beck has now called out Stewart for Stewart's political cowardice.

52 I tried watching the clip but I was starting to get the shakes anticipating Stewart's excessive mugging shtick.

53

Jon Leibowitz was Anthony Weiners room mate.  Pompous arrogant self righteous, hipper-than-thou Jews, who love Islam up to the very moment their empty heads are sawed off on camera.

Safe or so they think, they take positions that make you and I less safe.

 

54 wonder if having to pay attention to polls that aren't complete bullshit are making him rethink how Novemeber is gonna pan out. Posted by: Burn the Witch
--------------
The idiot found a new pollster.. PPP.  Every poll so far has been at least a few points to the left of everyone else.. (some much more)

55

I thought that here at the AOSHQ the term is now "sucker of cock."  Try to keep up.

Posted by: Hedgehog at August 17, 2010 03:57 PM (oQIfB)

I'm a busy man, and Stewart doesn't deserve the verbosity of my wit.

56

I'm a busy man, and Stewart doesn't deserve the verbosity of my wit.

Posted by: .Unclefacts, AoSHQ Pro Debate Squad, And Summoner Of Meteors. at August 17, 2010 04:08 PM (eCAn3)

True, but the rest of us morons do.

57 The one religion that desperately needs criticism, is the one for which it is forbidden.

No wonder it appeals to closeted homosexuals with big ears.

58 [U.S. District Judge Raymond A.] Jackson was nominated by President Bill Clinton on September 24, 1993

The A stands for Arrrrghhh.

1993, the first year, aka, year of the liberal douche judges.

Also, he's a JAGoff, like Lindsay Graham.

59 It's frightening how many people watch Jon Stewart as their news source

60 Ah yes, anti-Catholicism: the last remaining acceptable religious prejudice. I always find it richly ironic that the same people who are constantly chiding us to not blame "moderate" Muslims for the actions of their fanatic brethren, have no problem lumping all Catholics together as complicit in the sick perversions of a handful of pedophile priests.

Posted by: Angry Beaver at August 17, 2010 04:03 PM (52JPc)

Although I am a never-been-baptized heathen, I went to  a B (beer), L (liturgy), T (theology) dinner with about twenty Catholics last weekend.  One of them had recently been in the Middle East.  He said that what he heard numerous times from Muslims over there was that the biggest obstacle to a world wide Islamic caliphate was 1.5 billion Catholics.

61 "Should we consider the area around Burlington Coat Factory 'hallowed ground?'"

The 20% of the country without jobs actually do consider former factories hallowed ground.

62 I can't believe he actually used the playground joke. That's troll awful humor.

63 46 You know why you don't really see anybody parodying Jon Stewart? Because there's nothing there. Beck and Limbaugh are actually interesting, entertaining guys who have a lot to say and believe in what they're saying. Stewart's just some guy who reads his lines, makes a stupid face and then hands the show over to someone else. You could put anybody in that job, and they have, Stewarts the third or fourth Daily Show host, you'd have a hard time replacing Beck or Limbaugh.

Posted by: Martha Stewart's left nipple at August 17, 2010 04:04 PM (THrql)

--I have not watched but maybe an aggregate of two episodes of Liebowitz, but there's no doubt at all that his sidekicks are funnier than he is.

Say what you will about Stephen Colbert, but at least he is miles funnier than JL and instinctively humorous.

64

True, but the rest of us morons do.

Posted by: Hedgehog at August 17, 2010 04:09 PM (oQIfB)

ah I get your drift, you require the acidity of the full phrase.

Stewart is a pretentious sucker of cock, fuck him.

FIFM.

65 Jon Stewart is like an idiot.  In fact, I'd venture to say that Jon Stewart was exactly like an idiot.  You couldn't find the difference between Jon Stewart and an idiot if you used an electron microscope.

66

Although I am a never-been-baptized heathen, I went to  a B (beer), L (liturgy), T (theology) dinner with about twenty Catholics last weekend.  One of them had recently been in the Middle East.  He said that what he heard numerous times from Muslims over there was that the biggest obstacle to a world wide Islamic caliphate was 1.5 billion Catholics.

Posted by: WalrusRex at August 17, 2010 04:12 PM (xxgag)

--Even if Catholics converted at the point of a sword or barrel of a gun . . . if you were forced under penalty of death to register with Catholicism or Islam, would you choose the religion of drink, or of no drink?

67

59 It's frightening how many people watch Jon Stewart as their news source

The same people who think Oliver Stone's JFK was a documentary.

68

59 It's frightening how many people watch Jon Stewart as their news source

The same people who think Oliver Stone's JFK was a documentary.

Posted by: Miss Fluffy McNutter at August 17, 2010 04:18 PM (xMSXs)

I'm thinkin of a number between fiftyone and fiftythree...

69

--Even if Catholics converted at the point of a sword or barrel of a gun . . . if you were forced under penalty of death to register with Catholicism or Islam, would you choose the religion of drink, or of no drink?

Posted by: logprof at August 17, 2010 04:17 PM (BP6Z1)

I refuse to apologize for the Inquisition.

70 Let's not mention Islam. And the Constitution in the same sentence, it goes against so many of the tenants and ideals of the Constitution that it really should not even be allowed to be practiced in the United States. I just believe that there are some barbaric customs that should be given up when you locate to the United States, and Islam is one of them. The lack of freedom of speech without the threat of death for speaking ill of Islam. The lack of equal rights for women. The cruel and unusual punishments directed by Shira law. Shira law as a separate and equal judicial system. The melding of Church and State as a directive of their religion. The taxing and subjugation of non-muslims. The stated goal of overthrowing the host government. The sanctioning of terrorists and terror tactics. The demands of preferential treatment above other citizens. Why is our government sanctioning this crap? Why are other churches allowing this crap to go unchallenged? No, it doesn't belong here.

71

The median age for Daily Show viewers is 41.4 yrs old

That's simply pathetic.

72 So, joke was on Stewart. Hate that prick.

Posted by: Charlie Gibson at August 17, 2010 03:56 PM (QBQcg)

Isn't this better left to the cables?

73 The median age for Daily Show viewers is 41.4 yrs old

Yeah, but that's only because there's one 102 year old guy in Indiana who can't change the channel, skewing the stats.

74 Ace, you are so wrong.  You can make fun of Islam.  Ever hear of the Danish cartoons?

75 Must say, though, in defense of Jon that all humor plays to a particular audience.  If you're a lib, Stewart's a genius.  If not, he's an asshole.

Same works in reverse for Beck.  I think he's funny, sometimes.  But libs ... not so much.

76 MaxMBJ@75,

True to a degree; however, Stewarts shtick is a) old and b) dishonest. He wants to act like it's a comedy show, but it's really and pointedly a political(ly correct) one. He uses the cover of comedy to hide, in plain site, his politics and agenda. He's so dangerous smart yet when he so misconstrues a story with spin and he gets called on it, he puts on his goofy face and says, "Who, me? We're a bunch of clowns here?"

He's a coward and not edgy. At all.

77 62 I can't believe he actually used the playground joke.


The irony is that there probably already is a playground next to nearly every Catholic church in this country.  Why, you ask?  Because nearly every Catholic parish sponsors a parochial school.  And why do they do that when there are perfectly fine public schools nearby?  Because in the 19/c reading of the Protestant Bible was required in public schools and Catholic clergy and parents didn't want that forced upon their charges.  Of course, all that is long gone now, but yet the public schools are still not the most hospitable places for Catholic youth.  The authorities have simply replaced quasi-established Protestantism with state-sponsored eco-homo-secularism.  And so, though badly battered and bruised, the American Catholic school system, the largest private educational system in the world, limps along doing God's work.  Deo gratias.

78 39

Clown nose ON
Clown nose OFF
Clown nose ON
Clown nose OFF

Posted by: reason at August 17, 2010 04:00 PM (5npD/)

Best Ace rant. EVER.

I've borrowed his terminology from that rant many, many times in order to explain to people why I can't stand the self-righteous prick that is Jon Stewart. It pisses me off to no end that people take him as deadly serious news; yet when you try to counter anything his followers quote from him- and yes, many of their political "opinions" are just word-for-word quotes directly from the show- they immediately go into the whole "clown nose on" defense. Especially whenever it's pointed out that the vast majority of what he riffs on is either grossly distorted or just flat-out incorrect.

"Oh, why can't you just take a joke?!" Are we joking here or are we not? Cause if we're going with the clown-nose-on thing then we need to stop taking what he says seriously. Comedy is NOT news. But if we're going with the clown-nose-off thing then we have to acknowledge that he and his show are an extremely poor source and, because of that his opinions (a) are not beyond criticism and, (b) should not count for all that much. Either way they definitely should not be something anyone bases their own political ideology on.

Anyway, Stewart is an asshole and he can suck it.

79 Anyone got a link to the clown nose post?

80 I'm already laughing about it, and I haven't read it yet.

81

Agree, I can't stand Jon Stewart either. But I do the comments here underestimate his influence. I believe he is one of the left's more powerful media weapons. He plays well to the young Kos Kids and their not so liberal friends-the young skulls full of mush.

It's fine for us to write him off and say he's a jerk, I couldn't agree more. But he's one of the guys on TV who makes it cool, edgy, and hip to trash conservatives and to embrace liberalism. There are a lot of that 52% and 52%-rs to be who think he's all that,and don't have the intellect or the guts yet to be the one the room who says to his five friends who are Pavlov laughing  at Stewarts mugging: "This guy is a moron and I cannot believe you're dumb enough to find him funny."

82 He's so dangerous smart yet when he so misconstrues a story with spin and he gets called on it, he puts on his goofy face and says, "Who, me? We're a bunch of clowns here?"

He's a coward and not edgy. At all.

Right on. He's a hack, always has been. He has no stones, hence you will never hear Muslim jokes from him. Instead he will stick to casting slurs at the religion from which he has nothing to fear except a strongly worded letter from Bill Donohue and the Catholic League. Edgy.

If you're a lib, Stewart's a genius.  If not, he's an asshole.

True to some extent, but I can bear a joke at the expense of my own religion or political point of view. What I can't stand is Stewart being purposefully insulting and calling it "humor." He's just playing his groupies for cheap laughs. There's no skill involved there.

Stephen Colbert I don't find as irritating for some reason. I can actually watch him without wanting to throw things or strangle somebody.

83 Go ahead.  Mock us.  We can take it.  _{*goes and hits the liquor cabinet*}

84 Something to ponder... Is Stewart playing his audience... or is he a monkey performing for their biscuits?

85 clown nose on/clown nose off wasn't me. Or if I repeated it, I didn't originate that particular description. I believe it was Jim Treacher.

86

I skipped the entire video. Jon Butt-Boy Stewart can bite me.

 

87 I stopped watching Cowardly Central after the South Park Mohammed episode was censored.

88 And why exactly did you post this?

89 I heard that after his infamous takedown of the show Crossfire, that he continued his wide-eyed dissertation for an hour after the end of the show.  He was like Keenu Neo gaining awareness, he could see the green text running down the walls, but not the people politely asking him to shut up and leave.

90
Yo Jon Stewart - this ins't about religious freedom. No one is saying Islam and Mosques can't worship.

(btw- why build a Mosque in a non-residential area?  Lower Manhattan is a business district.)


This is about respecting the dead, Jon. 

91
The fact that leftists are suddenly BOOM!  excited about religious freedom - frightens me.  It's sacry.  I'm not used to it.

92

As far as I know, there are not many suicide bombers from those faiths.

He is just being a chickenshit. Employing army trained body guards is going to slice into his profit margin.

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