1

 

Prediction:

Judge Rules Kalid Sheik Mohammed Not A Terrorist, Acquitted.

2

 

Nadil Hassan Case Thrown Out Because Judge Rules Nadil Hassan "A Swell Guy When You Get To Know Him"

3 So if they aren't "pirate-pirates", what does it take to constitute "piratey pirate-pirates"?

4 Does anyone know anything about this judge?  Who appointed him?  Also, it wouldn't surprise me if the DOJ screwed up when they presented this case.  I think the Eric Holder Justice Dept. is either one of the most incompetent or one of the most venal.  I can't decide which one.

5

 

Meanwhile...

judges across the land are hearing plenty of copyright piracy suits.

 

6


Six Somalis asking for asylum in the nation that once charged them with piracy in 3....2....1.

7

So if they aren't "pirate-pirates", what does it take to constitute "piratey pirate-pirates"?

 

A parrot, parrot?

8 Pirate-pirates commit rape-rape and pillaging-pillaging. 

9 Ted Bundy wasn't a rapist-rapist.

10

 

Maybe the judge thought the Somalians were charged with downloading songs from Napster?

11 Just another reason we should allow the military to just kill these fuckers on the battlefield. Or on a POS boat as the case may be. Jefferson saw the way to deal with the MUSLIM pirates. Kill enough of them, show enough force, and they will leave you alone. Sink every fucking boat, gun down every pirate, and firebomb the piratical havens. Fucking kill them. Because it's pretty clear some leftist cocksucker in the government will either put them up at the Gitmo Hilton or let them go in a bullshit trial. Kill every last one and let God sort them out.

12 So if they aren't "pirate-pirates", what does it take to constitute "piratey pirate-pirates"?

For clarification, the difference between Whoopi-Goldberg-ian "rape-rape" vs. "rape-ity rape-rape".

13 U.S. District Judge Raymond A. Jackson should be impeached.  Like today.

And then set adrift in a skiff off the Somali coast.

Where the hell do these people come from?

14 They'll be sent to Epcot Center on work-release.  They'll wish they'd gotten the hangman's noose.

15 Somalian Pirates We!

16 Six Somalis asking for being offered asylum in the nation that once charged them with piracy in 3....2....1.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 17, 2010 04:06 PM

Fixed.

I sense the fine hand of Eric Shabazz Holder in here somewhere.

17 Arrrrrrrrr!

18 If we can't try them for piracy, we'll just have to give them back. I'm voting for putting them back exactly where we found them.

In the middle of the Gulf of Aden.

I'm sure that USS Ashland has the GPS coordinates recorded in the ship's log.

19

Following that logic, they could get Blago on corruption, but not on corruption-corruption. 

20 why are they still alive?

21

That's ok, we can just consider them illegal combatants and try them as such.

Oh shit...

22

 

let me get this straight...

I'm a pirate if I download Iron Man II but if I get on a boat on the high seas and seize another boat by gunpoint and rob the boat's cargo I'm not a pirate?

23 Based upon what I have read here I would be asking wtf did the prosecutors do.  Surely, they should have figured out this would be a defence.

24 Once again JUSTICE takes a back seat to CASE LAW. Another big fuck you from the government.

25 Well, at least he makes the 9th Circuit look smart.

26 OK, good, you have the blindfold. But what's with the ball gag and rope?

27 Is this part of the Law Of The See No Evil Treaty?

28 Has anyone googled the judge yet?

29 If we can't try them for piracy, we'll just have to give them back. I'm voting for putting them back exactly where we found them.

In the middle of the Gulf of Aden.

I'm sure that USS Ashland has the GPS coordinates recorded in the ship's log.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur

 

Via air mail. Nothing but the best.

30 4 Does anyone know anything about this judge?  Who appointed him?  Also, it wouldn't surprise me if the DOJ screwed up when they presented this case.  I think the Eric Holder Justice Dept. is either one of the most incompetent or one of the most venal.  I can't decide which one.

Posted by: runningrn at August 17, 2010 04:05 PM (CfmlF)

Surprise surprise surpise!

Jackson was nominated by President Bill Clinton on September 24, 1993

31 I completely support this judge's ruling...

32 Jackson was born in Sussex, Virginia. He received a B.A. from Norfolk State University in 1970. He received a J.D. from the University of Virginia School of Law in 1973. He was in the United States Army Captain, JAG Corps from 1973 to 1977. U.S. Army Reserve Colonel, 1977-present. He was an assistant U.S. Attorney of the Eastern District of Virginia from 1977 to 1993. He was an Adjunct lecturer, College of William and Mary, Marshall-Wythe School of Law, 1981-1991 in 1993. Jackson is a federal judge of the United States District Court for the Eastern District of Virginia. Jackson was nominated by President Bill Clinton on September 24, 1993, to a seat vacated by Richard Leroy Williams. He was confirmed by the United States Senate on November 20, 1993, and received his commission on November 22, 1993.

33 We should put these non-pirates adrift in a dinghy and let our snipers have some target practice.

34 Not a pirate-pirate? Is that like not rape-rape?

35

"And not one of the alleged pirates said 'Yo, ho ho!'"

--from the judge's ruling

36 Additionally Judge Jackson worked as Chief of the Civil Division in which he litigated and supervised attorneys in representation of United States in a variety of civil law suits.

37 Hell, you get less time for firing on a US Navy warship while attempting to seize it than you do for downloading pr0n without paying for it. Something isn't quite right here.

38

Judge:  They don't talk like pirates.  Case dismissed!

(September 19 is International Talk Like A Pirate Day)

39 This looks like a job for the NASA outreach program.

40

Surprise surprise surpise!

Jackson was nominated by President Bill Clinton on September 24, 1993

 

I had a feeling that was going to be the case!  Thanks for putting me the knowledge! 

So when BJ splooged all over Monica's dress, was that blue on blue violence?

41 I wish I was this lucky. Nope, I was convicted of a crime I didn't even commit.  Attempted murder!?  Now honestly, what is that?  Do they give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry?

42

TEL AVIV, Israel - Security guards captured a Palestinian who broke into the Turkish Embassy in Israel Tuesday trying to take hostages and demanding asylum, the Turkish Foreign Ministry said in a statement.

The attacker, wounded by gunfire, was still inside the building six hours after he broke in, with Israeli police and rescue services kept outside by Turkish officials.

Injaz said he admired Recep Tayyip Erdogan.

"I love him and I respect him," he said. The Turkish leader "should give me political asylum against these murderers the Zionists, the murdering Jews," he added, linking the incident indirectly to recent tensions between Israel and Turkey.

I can't wait for Barry's comment on this. Something tells me it will be along the lines that the Israelis acted stupidly

43 22

 

let me get this straight...

I'm a pirate if I download Iron Man II but if I get on a boat on the high seas and seize another boat by gunpoint and rob the boat's cargo I'm not a pirate?

Posted by: certoirari refused at August 17, 2010 04:10 PM (uFokq)

Correct. Any more questions?

44

"One of the alleged pirates was sporting a hook, granted; however, he did not have a peg leg."

--from the judge's ruling

45 Ok, fine. Then Congress needs to pass some legislation defining piracy-piracy and the next time we nab some we can prosecute them all legal like. (from the article> "That a slingshot fired upon another ship would expose the defendant to a mandatory life sentence shows the absurd result of this reading," he said. The defense added that under this broad definition, Greenpeace activists could be considered pirates for their anti-whaling antics. Well..., yes! The kooks are Whale Wars ARE pirates. They even display the Skull and Cross-bones symbol over and over again**. If the Japanese whalers researchers* hire some pro snipers with .50 caliber rifles and use them to ... discourage the kooks I wouldn't gripe. BTW, haven't they finished their research yet? They've been at it a few decades now. **Based upon the one episode I watched. That was the one where the bat-boat was sliced in two. That was a great show!

46 None of these alleged pirates talked like a cross between Keith Richards and a drunken lounge lizard.

47

I'm a pirate if I download Iron Man II but if I get on a boat on the high seas and seize another boat by gunpoint and rob the boat's cargo I'm not a pirate?

Posted by: certoirari refused at August 17, 2010 04:10 PM (uFokq)

Correct. Any more questions?

 

Hold on a second, not so fast!  First question, "Do you qualify as a member of a victim class?"  What's that?  No mercy!  Take Whitey to the chair pronto!

48 The judge is a left-winger who, I believe, has a problem with the sentencing guidelines for drug cases (disparity between crack and powder).

49 Because it seems so obvious, Congress never defined it.

Remember well, wingnut, you have to wait 'til it's passed before you know how any of our bills are going to work!

50

I can't wait for Barry's comment on this. Something tells me it will be along the lines that the Israelis acted stupidly

 

Cool!  (rubbing hands in glee)  I'm up for another Beer Summit!

51 In the most recent book I read in the Aubrey - Maturin novels, it was noted that firing on a military vessel was an act of piracy (in this case, it was a slave ship attempting to avoid capture). Judge Jacksons' idiocy with bows and arrows ignores the facts of the case that the Somali's did in fact fire with gun-guns on a military vessel.

52 Great post in a pinch there, Gabriel.

These judges suck.

53 "let me get this straight...

I'm a pirate if I download Iron Man II but if I get on a boat on the high seas and seize another boat by gunpoint and rob the boat's cargo I'm not a pirate?

Posted by: certoirari refused"

Not quite - if you (say) were idiotic enough to attack a US Naval ship, and were captured before you managed to steal anything, then you're not a pirate.

And yes, I think this is beyond idiotic and verging on sub-moronic.

54

The defendanst argued that they did not complete their act of piracy (they didn't actually rob the USS Ashland) and so cannot be properly charged as pirates. This would be distinct from an attempted piracy charge, which I guess wasn't or couldn't be (?) made.

This is the same reasoning that is going to set Blago free.

 

55

The judge is a left-winger who, I believe, has a problem with the sentencing guidelines for drug cases (disparity between crack and powder).

 

Butt, you digress!

56 why are they still alive?

Posted by: Vergeltung at August 17, 2010 04:09 PM (jttPx)

That's the most salient point. Opening fire on a US Navy ship of war should be a case of Darwin in action. The only thing that should be left after it's over is roiled water, an oil slick and shark bait.

57 None of these alleged pirates had burning slowmatch in their beards.

58

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

59

**Based upon the one episode I watched. That was the one where the bat-boat was sliced in two. That was a great show!

 

I saw that one.  I lol'd.  Those jackasses deserved it, they tried to tangle up the whaling boats propeller with a line.  I got a warm fuzzy feeling when that expensive carbon fiber boat got hit.

60  And not a Kiera Knightley in sight.

61 48 The judge is a left-winger who, I believe, has a problem with the sentencing guidelines for drug cases (disparity between crack and powder).

Posted by: Dr. Spank at August 17, 2010 04:18 PM (xO+6C)

Once you go crack, you never go back...just sayin'

62 They were flying the "not a pirate" flag (in writing) as apposed to the skull and crossbones, hence they're cool.

63

 

LALALALALALALALALA

64 Stop arresting them. Kill them at sea.

65 Somalis, attacking Navy ship, while reading AoSHQ (with banner logo prominently displayed)... now that I would buy as piracy.

66 “If the law supposes that,” said Mr. Bumble,… “the law is a ass—a idiot. If that’s the eye of the law, the law is a bachelor; and the worst I wish the law is that his eye may be opened by experience—by experience.”

67 Now if they had boarded the ship and used its computer to burn a copy of a Lady Gaga CD, that would definitely be piracy.

68 None of these alleged pirates were heard to make an amusing remark in Latin when their boat was sunk.

69

"The record clearly shows that none of the green parrots on the defendants' right shoulders can squawk 'ahoy, matey; give us a kiss.'  On the contrary, the parrots are clearly saying 'shit, bro, I'm outta khat. You got any?'  This does not rise to the level of piracy."

--the judge

70 57 None of these alleged pirates had burning slowmatch in their beards.

Posted by: Judge's Ruling at August 17, 2010 04:21 PM (wRH1k)

--Don't forget: all pirates speak English.

71 None of the defendant's learned all 16 insults before sailing to Monkey Island. Case dismissed.

72 "Complainants testified that Defendants also lacked bright orange finery, nor feathered caps, and did not carry daggers in their mouths."

73

I think this is beyond idiotic and verging on sub-moronic.

Ah yes, the Judge is a jurist of uncommonly refined reasoning, truly a new theoretition of sub-moronic articles.

74 Quick update:

This is absolute BS and smacks of a behind the door deal by the DOJ who does not want to prosecute.  Any law regarding piracy on the books in 1820 has long been superseded by formal treaty that has redefined piracy and its punishments.

I guess the same stupid fkwad of a judge if we tried them at sea via captain's mast and hung them would then roll out the fact that the law of 1820 for piracy no longer exists. 

The key to this will be if the DOJ appeals. If it does not look for these assholes to get off with a slap on the wrist and THEN given asylum in the U.S.

75

 

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

76 I just can't take any more idiocy from our judiciary.  This is a nightmare of incompetence, stupidity, and anti-Americanism, just as we have coming out of the other rotten branches of the feral government.

National suicide is a terrible thing to watch unfold.

77 The Law is an Ass[Hole Judge].

78

The sad fact in all of this including all the other judicial rulings that are being handed down the last few years by statist judges is that no matter if repubs. claim the congress in 2010 and the presidency in 2012, not one of these asshat judges will be impeached.

79 Gabe after he destroys our economy, Barry may well unleash a new generation of US Pirates....

we'll have to attack the chinese waterlanes....so maybe this ruling is good?

I know I might want a new TV some day down the road say by 2025......

80 The Navy brought these six guys back to Virginia in April after they fired on the USS Ashland ...

So what exactly were the ROE in April?  I'd like to know whether the captain of the Ashland was under orders not to return fire when fired upon by Somali criminals. 

81

I actually agree with the judge. If the law dosen't say it then change the law if that's what you want. I don't want judges making their own law from the bench.

What I don't agree with is why were these fucks tried in a civilian court? Why didn't the navy just blow them out of the water and be done with it or at worst try them in a military tribunal?

82

Maybe the "kill em at sea" notion is part of Justice Jackson's reasoning.  It's his way of communicating, "don't be bringing the skinnies over here for trial." 

And God bless the US Navy!

83 Clean up in the top headlines section Ace.

84

Didn't a coupla those non-pirates get popped by double taps courtesy of the SEALs?

The surviving non-pirates acted stupidly then.

85
On the high seas, kill 'um all and let Allah-Allah sort 'um out.

86

Drunk and abiguously gay is no way to portray a pirate.

Trust me.

 

 

87 Ace, hope you're warming up your Blago flaming skull....

88 Obviously they invoked the right of parley as provided for in the Code of the Brethren. Besides, the code is more guidelines than actual rules....

89 Here's a vexing legal question:

Does illegally downloading Cutthroat Island count as piracy?

90 What was the punishment for attempted piracy in 1820 ?

91

In honor of Judge Jackson's ruling, Disneyland has annnounced the planned opening of its latest attraction, Idiosyncratically-Attired Seagoing Characters of the Caribbean.

92

OT but, found this on a website:

A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader, chops off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.

Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.

Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!

Darth Vader: No, Luke... I am your father!

Luke: No. It can't be. That's not true. That's impossible!

Darth Vader: Search your feelings Luke... you know them to be true.

Luke: NOOoooo!

Darth Vader: Yes, it is true... and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?

Luke: Threepio?

Darth Vader: Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was 7 years old.

Luke: No! ... Wait, huh?

Darth Vader: Seven years old. And what have you done? Look at yourself. No hand. No job. And you couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp...

Luke: But... I destroyed your precious Death Star!

Darth Vader: But that was when you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed an entire Trade Federation Droid Control ship!

Luke: Well, it's not my fault...

Darth Vader: Oh, here we go... "Poor me... my father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday... boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith... Nobody loved me... waahhh wahhh!"

Luke: Shut up!

Darth Vader: You're a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had already exterminated the Jedi knights!

Luke: I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon.

Darth Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor... 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open... the Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer... right here baby!

Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.

Darth Vader: I was wrong... You're not my kid... I don't know whose you are, but you sure ain't mine.

Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft.

Darth Vader looks down after him.

Darth Vader: And get a haircut!

93 This grates so much, like many court decisions these days, because it bugs our common sense.

Common sense has been in dangerously short supply in this country for quite some time now. When I see it being applied these days, it shocks the shit out of me.

94 Does illegally downloading Cutthroat Island count as piracy?


No, it's a misdemeanor against good taste.

MAKING Cutthroat Island counts as a crime against humanity.

95 I was just about to sentence them, but then they invoked the right to parley.

96 I saw no Aztec gold nor did these "pirates" turn into skeletons in the moonlight. I had no choice but to rule as I did.

97 The proper way to deal with pirates is to hunt them in a boat that does not have a brig, or anything that can be remotely described as having brig-like properties.

Instead, you have sturdy yardarm, and a lot of spare rope.

98 You may call them pirates, but we call them swishy sailors with a penchant for squeezing off multiple salvos from their huge guns.

99

This is absolute BS and smacks of a behind the door deal by the DOJ who does not want to prosecute. 

That's a stupid comment. As I wrote in the post and quoted from the article, there were several other charges and those are proceeding to be prosecuted. The DOJ did not make a "behind the door deal". And who would they have made a deal with anyway? The judge? You're seriously suggesting collusion between the prosecutors and the judge to get the defendants OFF? The prosecutors can dismiss counts at any time and didn't need to bring the charges in the first place if they didn't want to.

So what exactly were the ROE in April?  I'd like to know whether the captain of the Ashland was under orders not to return fire when fired upon by Somali criminals. 

The Ashland blew their little raft to splinters and then fished these guys out of the water. 

100

...the most important and obvious of the charges was piracy, which carries a mandatory life sentence.

I thought the sentence for piracy was summary hanging from the yardarm.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Nobody said it was a LONG-TERM life sentence.  If he is locked in the brig for the ten minutes it takes to find rope, I suppose it technically a life sentence in prison.

Followed by a hanging.

101

I LMAO watching that episode of Whale Wars, especially when I saw that the one crewmember from the "bat boat" was wearing a tobaggan that had "Prepare to be Boarded" on it. It is funny (in an ironic kind of way) that these guys do all kinds of stuff (including illegally boarding Japanese ships) and act like it is ok, but the first time a Japanese ship defends against them, they begin to cry like babies. 

Another interesting note is that the crews of those ships (the Bob Barker and Steve Irwin) subsist off of a vegan diet. If you watch the crew as the season progresses, they get paler, thinner and sickly looking.   

102 One Somali pleaded guilty.

Don't the charges against him have to be dropped in order to maintain legal consistency?  If, as the judge has agreed, piracy couldn't have occurred, it is impossible for him to be guilty. 

Right?

103 Teaparty Terrorists! See? See?

104 92,

Nice catch,

if that fat ass on whale wars gets to play "do whatever the fuck I want" on the high seas maybe we can as well no?

105 GM, making friends the old fashioned way, through insults.

106

Drunk and abiguously gay is no way to portray a pirate.

Trust me.

 

Those are ass-pirates.  They roam the waterways of San Francisco.

 

107 So, if this say happened off the coast of Ireland, and the pirates where white?

108 ... piracy, by the law of nations, is ...
____________

This is all just coverup for The Won. You see, the constitution doesn't define "natural-born citizen"; you have to go to the law of nations to find that. By undercutting the law of nations, the judge seeks to kneecap the birthers.

109

The Ashland blew their little raft to splinters and then fished these guys out of the water. 

Posted by: Gabriel Malor at August 17, 2010 04:36 PM (IkTb7)

After letting it float in front of them for a couple of days, because the Indonesian Imbecile wouldn't give them permission to fire.  That almost cost the captain his life when he went overboard in the beginning and was just pulled back on board since the Traitor-in-Chief was trying as hard as he could to fuck the whole situation up (which he did).

110 "...Another interesting note is that the crews of those ships (the Bob Barker and Steve Irwin) subsist off of a vegan diet. If you watch the crew as the season progresses, they get paler, thinner and sickly looking..."

But we LIKE those vegans.  We're friendly towards 'em.  That's why we call them "chum."

111 As an aside, I loved the NES version (never played the original PC one) of Pirates!  It was one of those games that was fun to play even if you never won it.

I also liked the voices from that old Mac game Ancient Art of War at Sea.

112

Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.

Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!

Darth Vader: No, Luke... I am your father!

Luke: No. It can't be. That's not true. That's impossible!

Darth Vader: Search your feelings Luke... you know them to be true.

Luke: N..... _{*getting interrupted*}

Alvin Green: NOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

113 GM: "And courts are going to tend to err away from fudging that kind of thing, just because it's 'common sense' that they're pirates. Due process and 'beyond a reasonable doubt' and all that."

Then we're well on our way to jury nullifications if this is the way our Courts are going to be. So much of this law is an ass and frustrated Americans are being poked, prodded, and forced into becoming less tolerant of their betters. American juries, when used, are going to have to smack down the Courts even at the risk of "usurping the Constitution" or acting irrationally/illegally. Who can put faith in a system where Justice is not served? The Court is inviting, if not insisting upon, tyranny of the majority whether they mean to or not.

114

Another interesting note is that the crews of those ships (the Bob Barker and Steve Irwin) subsist off of a vegan diet. If you watch the crew as the season progresses, they get paler, thinner and sickly looking.  

 

Except for the pasty fatass captain who looks like the Albino in Princess Bride.  He looks like he's eaten several of the crew members. 

115 Ace should have a Whale Wars thread, the show is pretty funny.

116

"While the alleged pirates did attack, they were not sailing in a stolen galleon with a black flag sporting the skull and crossbones.  This 'Jolly Roger' is the sine qua non of piracy." 

--the judge

117 22 let me get this straight...I'm a pirate if I download Iron Man II...
________________

But you're not a pirate if you never manage to get that chunk of the torrent containing the final seconds of the end credits, since you will not have completed your act of piracy.

118 Note to U.S. Navy. When you blow a pirate boat to splinters, bring out the snipers and target the flotsam and jetsam. Taking prisoners just ain't smart.

119 Same thing happens in this piracy case. In a criminal conviction, particularly one involving a mandatory life sentence, the starting point is: what is "piracy."

Seriously, Gabe?  Look, this kind of crap isn't consistent.  Are you telling me that English Common Law doesn't have a definition of piracy?  Of course, these are the people who think "Congress shall make no law" applies to state governments.

120 This is scary, and if I am wrong, PLEASE prove it.  For awhile I have been concerned that the New Black Panther voting intimidation was a test case to see how far Holder could sway the courts.  Think about how many questionable decisions have come down, and how now the Supremes are stacked with 2 people who were active at supressing every "birther" case.  I am concerned that Holder is trying to control/corrupt the courts.  Am I crazy?  Paranoid?

121

The Congress shall have Power ... To define and punish Piracies and Felonies committed on the high Seas, and Offences against the Law of Nations;

 

Funny how Congress can spend time forcing us to buy a private product... and yet can't seem to pass a Law coherent enough to get Pirates, when it is specificly spelled out by the Constitution, that they should do so.

122 "This grates so much, like many court decisions these days, because it bugggers our common sense."

Fixed.

123 No ale = no pirates. I have spoken.

124

"These men were swarthy, but none had a hoary beard."

125 You're seriously suggesting collusion between the prosecutors and the judge to get the defendants OFF?

Perhaps not actual "collusion" but prosecution in the same manner that the State of CA failed to prosecute the defense for Proposition 8. A half-assed defense with a wink and a nod at the judge.

And the motive for this is the same; political. This way Obama and his pet DOJ can blame the judge for a "bad ruling".

This kind of stuff has been going on for years now.

And no it is not a "stupid comment".

126 I think the judge got it right. Burglary is a good example. It is specifically defined along the lines of intent to commit a felony rather than actual commission of the felony. Congress needs to tighten up the law, along the same lines.

127 OT but i just did my first Rasmussen telephone poll.  About the recession and whether or not Public school teachers are paid too much.  Great fun.

128 And where were the wenches? Riddle me that fascists.

129 Just don't be ordinary Joe Citizen getting caught up in the meat grinder of a federal prosecution. You are well and truly fucked.

130 Is it piracy (by whatever definition) only if the crime is on the water?

131 95 OT but, found this on a website:

Darth Vader: Yes, it is true... and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?

Luke: Threepio?

Darth Vader: Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was 7 years old.
______________

Obi-Wan: What brings you out into the desert?

Luke: It's this droid. It claims to be the property of an "Obi-Wan Kenobi".

Obi-Wan: Ah, R2-D2. We meet again.

132 Not me, though.

133 Talk like a Somali Pirate day: "Guilty as Hell and Free as a bird (to be determined concerning the lesser charges,). What a country!"

134

This is scary, and if I am wrong, PLEASE prove it.  For awhile I have been concerned that the New Black Panther voting intimidation was a test case to see how far Holder could sway the courts.  Think about how many questionable decisions have come down, and how now the Supremes are stacked with 2 people who were active at supressing every "birther" case.  I am concerned that Holder is trying to control/corrupt the courts.  Am I crazy?  Paranoid?

 

In an earlier comment, I said I didn't know if Holder's justice Dept. was just incompetent or venal.  I'm going to have to go with venal!

135 Was their home port Tortuga? No. Was Maureen O'Hara at any time spotted climbing the rigging? Not in evidence. Did either Errol Flynn or Tyrone Power at any time lead a boarding party? Did we even get a decent segue shot of Jamaica? No such proof exists.

136 Drats!  Sock!  Kratos!

137 Hey does Disney have any openings for any Pirates but like not real Pirates?

138

Re: Whale Wars
I've never watched the show, but the current commercial caught my ear when one guy was telling others that they have to risk their lives for animals.

A thought:
One can choose to risk their life for loved ones.
Ditto for their country.
Perhaps they themselves can risk to save a beloved animal, if they so choose.

But when somebody else demands that you risk your life to save an animal, some moral line has been crossed.

139


Judge Jackson, you are without doubt the worst jurist I've ever heard of......

140 Forget my question.  I'm not awake yet.

141 "None of these so-called pirates could quote Daniel Defoe."

142 >>>That's a stupid comment. As I wrote in the post and quoted from the article, there were several other charges and those are proceeding to be prosecuted. The DOJ did not make a "behind the door deal". And who would they have made a deal with anyway? The judge? You're seriously suggesting collusion between the prosecutors and the judge to get the defendants OFF? The prosecutors can dismiss counts at any time and didn't need to bring the charges in the first place if they didn't want to. Posted by: Gabriel Malor at August 17, 2010 04:36 PM (IkTb7) Oh, I don't know. Maybe so piracy isn't a crime? So holder could rig judicial rulings to gain some benefit for his boss like say finding that attempted terrorism isn't really defined in statutes so we can just let all those GITMO shitbags go. Or maybe it's just a test run for future usurpation of judicial power. Who knows, but claiming that the left has nothing to gain from this ruling is silly. And claiming that the DOJ dropping the case is the same as the DOJ losing is silly. Very different results. Us not knowing results/goals does not mean the Left has no goals/results.

143 "And, it should be noted, that global warming is caused by the worldwide shortage of pirates--further proof these men could not have been pirates." 

144 This deciision frees up Greenpeace to commit a lot of not-piracy. They're safe as long as they don't do the dead giveaway- talking like a pirate. How are the USS Cole guys doing? They didn't commit piracy against the Navy, either.

145 Well they didn't have eye patches, peg legs,  and parrots on their shoulders did they?  See, the judge was right.

146 138 In an earlier comment, I said I didn't know if Holder's justice Dept. was just incompetent or venal. I'm going to have to go with venal veal!
_____________

FIFY

147

All this reminds me of Bill Clinton. "You see, he didn't get a blowjob-blowjob, it was just an attempted blowjob"

And in regards to the "why are they still alive?" question, once again Slick Willie and his affair with Ms Lewinsky comes to mind:

The French wondered what all the fuss was about

The Africans wondered why he did not get her pregnant.

The Russians wondered why she was still alive.

When those three groups seem more commonsense and/or civilized than we are, we are in trouble.

 

148 Anybody have any ideas about what the definition of "judge" is?  Is that some guy who buys any bullshit argument made by a lawyer? 

149 "I have attached as Exhibit "A" the linguistic file I used to arrive at my determination these gentlemen were not speaking pirate.  Clearly these men were not using standard pirate dialect."

150 Hey, I'm on Atkins.

151 Did either Errol Flynn or Tyrone Power at any time lead a boarding party?


Were any of the defendants captured wearing tights and pencil-thin moustaches?

152 ...as defined by the law of nations," Jackson wrote

Interesting the law of nations has jurisdiction, because according to them a "natural born citizen" is someone born to parents (plural) who are citizens, and guess what president doesn't meet that test?  Nothing to see here, move along...

153 law doesn't work that way

When did law stop working, then? It worked so well in 1820 that the Supreme Court had "no hesitation" in saying what piracy was.

"piracy" is not defined in statute

According to 18 USC 1111, "Murder is the unlawful killing of a human being with malice aforethought."

But "killing" doesn't seem to be defined in statute. How can we justify keeping murderers locked up?

154 Hey Gabe, you missed the last part of judge Jackass' decision:

"And, since it has been determined by this all-knowing court that the defendants cannot be held for piracy, any American who calls them 'pirates' is clearly engaging in defamation and will be locked away and fined into bankruptcy.  We are civilized in America and will not abide the defaming of these good men who were engaging in something, that is not piracy, on the high seas."

155 Asshole Defense Attorney: Judge, I hold here the United States Criminal Code. You're familiar with this book?
Normal Judge: Yes, sir.
Asshole Defense Attorney: You've read it?
Normal Judge: Yes, sir.
Asshole Defense Attorney: Good. Would you open it up to the page that defines piracy, please?
Normal Judge: Sir?
Asshole Defense Attorney: Just flip open to the page of the book that talks about piracy.
Normal Judge: Well, sir piracy is a term that we use, I mean, just in Chapter 81, I really don't think that...
Asshole Defense Attorney: Ah, we're in luck then. US Code, Chapter 81, Privacy and Privateering. Now I assume we'll find the term piracy and its definition in that book. Am I right?
Normal Judge: No sir.
Asshole Defense Attorney: Your Honor, I'm a lawyer. Is there no book, no pamphlet or manual, no regulation or set of written orders or instructions that lets me know that, as a lawyer, what it means to commit piracy?
Normal Judge: No sir. No book, sir.
Asshole Defense Attorney: No further questions.
[as Defense walks back to his table sane prosecutor takes the book out of his hand]
Prosecutor: Judge would you open this book up to the part that says that where the mess hall is....

156 I can see the Navy leaving the Somali Straits littered with bodies, body parts, a large amount of flotsam and jetsam and reporting back to their HQ:  No pirate-pirates encountered on this patrol.

157

In my personal view, the decision has a good chance of being overturned on appeal if the government does/can pursue this course.  The judge in this case appears to have relied on United States v. Smith in reaching his decision, which is an early Supreme Court case where actual robbery had taken place. 

It is in that context that Justice Story stated that robbery was piracy.  Justice Story's statement was mere dicta, since the holding in Smith was whether the statute itself was sufficiently clear to meet constitutional muster in supporting the conviction.  The Court answered yes.  Smith never addressed the question as to whether attempted robbery, but not robbery itself, was also piracy.  It is the law, though, that piracy is sufficiently defined to pass constitutional muster.

Judge Jackson appears to be holding with the dissent in Smith, which stated that the term "piracy" was too vague to meet constitutional muster.  So it will be interesting to see whether the government presses this issue.  I hope they will.

158 161,

all kidding aside that is what is troubling about the willful or bought stupidity of our judges....

if anything we should be trying the terrorists as pirates, since one of the accepted definitions of piracy was engaging in martial maritime actions without national sanction, hence why a Letter of Marque was so vital to other men of the sea.

159 In the United Nations Convention on the Law of the Sea of 1982, "maritime piracy" consists of:(a) any illegal acts of violence or detention, or any act of depredation, committed for private ends by the crew or the passengers of a private ship or a private aircraft, and directed: (i) on the high seas, against another ship or aircraft, or against persons or property on board such ship or aircraft;(ii) against a ship, aircraft, persons or property in a place outside the jurisdiction of any State;(b) any act of voluntary participation in the operation of a ship or of an aircraft with knowledge of facts making it a pirate ship or aircraft;(c) any act of inciting or of intentionally facilitating an act described in subparagraph (a) or (b).

Hence, honorable judge, you are FOS

160 Posted by: Chestertonrocks at August 17, 2010 05:07 PM (MQVHA)

That is what I said earlier, look at what the DOJ does. If they do not appeal it shows what they are truly after.

161 I actually think lawmakers SHOULD have to spell everything out. Laws that are going to be used to criminally prosecute people SHOULD be precise. They SHOULD have all their I's dotted and T's crossed. Criminal statutes that are "flexible" can be nightmarish for even innocent people to defend themselves against. If Congress can't be bothered to do its homework, I'm not going to blame the courts.

162 To be fair, it is true that "attempted piracy" has very little jurisprudence suggesting that it is criminal......because unsuccessful "attempted pirates" have historically never made it to shore. In fact, in the absence of modern submersibles, they'd have very likely never be seen again.

163 This case is merely one tactic leading toward the strategic goal of the Leftist-controlled government. The foreign and domestic enemies of America are being sent message after message, all amounting to a singular one: "We are weakening America in all respects; when she's hobbled enough, you all can come on in and help us finish her off."

164 165 CTD,

and were this some BRAND NEW set of case law rather than one with a long and established precedentary trail I'd agree....what you have here is a moonbat who doesn't want to condone going after the "downtrodden" or he is trying to backdoor us into the LoST by judicial fiat.

165 Rum, sodomy and the lash -- that's how you  tell who's a piratey-pirate. If they chew kwat, send them bwack .

166 166,

+1 that is what I meant by "long precedential trail"

167 Baldilocks,

EXACTLY this message is "keep firing we've upped your odds of not getting busted" to pirates.

167 Even if you apply the law in effect that the idiot judge used piracy is still defined by the current law of 1982.

Because in 1820 the law specifically referenced "the law of nations" which is defined as "international law" which currently defines piracy as I listed it in the previous post from 1982.

Again, if the DOJ doesn't appeal this they never wanted to bring the true case in the first place. This ruling begs to be overturned and the idiot judge removed from the bench and disbarred.

168 Bullets are a lot cheaper than trials.

169

I agree with Vic.

170 I would love to have heard the prosecution tell the judge that he has in effect ruled that the next time they should bring action against the "pirates" using "Rocks and Shoals" and execute them at Sea according to "Jus gentium" i.e. hang them from the yardarm.

171 I know piracy when I see it.

172 Not one of those pirates was white!  What are the odds that they wouldn't charge one white Somali man of piracy?  Clearly that was cause for concern.  Of course, the judge had to dismiss it.

Love and kisses!
KP 

173 176 Kirsten,

you forgot "Kirsten Konservative Powers"

174 So wait - are they free if they're Ghost Pirates, or is it if they're Pirate Ghosts?

175 Next time pick them off one by one as they're swimming toward the Navy ship.  Must keep the marksmanship skills honed!

176 its not true that the law "doesn't work that way" it is only true that it doesn't work that way when you abandon wisdom and common sense for mere management and pencil pushing. It is this abandonment of wisdom that had caused the most problems lately and made cheap chiseling lawyers able to take advantages where they ought not to.

177
You evil conservatives always concentrate on my tits.  Stop it!

178
What's a diva?

179 Thanks for making business a bit easier for us, cousin lawyer shark.  In a just world, the US Navy will just leave them for us after blowing their boat out of the water.

180 WTF. These guys are Somalians, and they attacked our ship. Why are we trying them at all? Just throw them in a dungeon somewhere as an example to other pirates. Argh.

181 Can we just agree that they are innocent. Then give 'em a ride halfway home, and drop them off in the middle of the Atlantic in a two-man dinghy? I'm sure their buddies'll pick 'em up.

182 "Even if you apply the law in effect that the idiot judge used piracy is still defined by the current law of 1982."

The US isn't a party to the Law of the Sea Convention.  This case notwithstanding, there are actually a lot of reasons why that's a good thing.

"Because in 1820 the law specifically referenced "the law of nations" which is defined as "international law" which currently defines piracy as I listed it in the previous post from 1982."

"The law of nations" is a term of art.  It has a specific meaning, arguably going back to the Romans, the Phoenicians, etc.  It means so-called customary international law, not treaties.  Customary international law is to treaties what the common law is to statutes, i.e., what applies internationally in the absence of anything else.  Undoubtedly, there is plenty of customary law to support the position that piracy is a lot broader than requiring a completed robbery, and if DOJ doesn't appeal, they WANT to lose.

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184 Of course this brings up the issue as to why they were charged in civilian courts to begin with. Wasn't this another one of those slam dunks that Holder keeps talking about?

185 Courts these days demand that every little thing be spelled out in triplicate.

Pure comedy gold from another nit-fucking-pickin' California lawyer.

186
Note to the Navy JAG corps: this is why you hang the ratfucking pirates from the yardarm and be done with it.

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