Ace of Spades HQ

July 01, 2010

Just A Reminder That Ace-A-Thon Â’10 Is Underway
— DrewM

Laura kicked it off in her own inimitable fashion but still plenty of time to pony up.

Once or twice a year we take it on ourselves to do what Ace wonÂ’t do for himselfÂ… ~~demand you freeloaders pay up for all the shit he does~~ ask you to support his work and keep this place a must read for all of us. ItÂ’s like our own version of DonÂ’t Ask, DonÂ’t TellÂ…he never asks us to do this for him and we donÂ’t tell him when itÂ’s going to happen. Which when you think of it, is a hell of a way to make a living.

Let me explain to you how this worksÂ…

Step 1: You give Ace money by clicking on the PayPal button on the left (on the left Laura)

Step 2: ???

Step 3: Ace profits (just enough not to have to try and get a real job, leave the blog and force you to do your damn jobs instead of hanging out here all day. You donÂ’t want that, do you?)

So please dig deep. Dig into your retirement savings, your kidÂ’s college money, even your vodka fund. Of course IÂ’m just kiddingÂ…about the vodka fund.

Celebrity Endorsements For Ace: While Ace and I donÂ’t see eye to eye on a lot of matters, we both agree that, um, releasing our second chakras ainÂ’t cheap. First thereÂ’s the cost of the massage therapist, then thereÂ’s the dry cleaning and legal fees. All of that is followed by divorce lawyers and the loss of roughly half of your net worth.
-Al Gore

My sacred honor compels me to admit that I had sex with Ace of Spades. IÂ’m not proud of this fact and I will not be speaking about it ever again. Or until tomorrow. Maybe later this evening. Oh, hell, just let me finish off this bottle of Valu-Rite and IÂ’ll tell you all about it, which now that I think about is how I wound up have sex with Ace in the first place.
-Anonymous SC blogger

It is time that we put aside the false choices between subscribing to one more site featuring nothing but Busty Lesbian Pr0n and kicking a few bucks over to Ace of Spades. We as a nation can and must do better. Now, like you, I have inherited this dilemma from the previous administration and am now faced with an unprecedented internet crisis. But we must ask ourselves, what good is it watching two (or more) very attractive Asian women go at it if we can not then head over here to the HQ for the latest installment of Â“this and that but mostly thatÂ”? Our Busty Lesbian Pr0n would be lesser for it. We must not, we will not, let that happen.

Failure to support this worthy cause will lead to our ruination. Our chickens will have come home to roost as it were.

Can we support Ace of Spades? YES WE CAN!
-President Barack Obama

WhereÂ’s Joe?
-Paul Anka (Official Ace of Spades HQ crooner)

Posted by: DrewM at 02:14 PM | Comments (338)
Post contains 527 words, total size 3 kb.

1 I'll donate, but then you will blow me.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at July 01, 2010 02:16 PM (syZsc)

2 When I gave money to Ace of Spades, my bald spot filled-in; my confidence increased, and women were drawn to me.

Posted by: Guy With Gorgeous Hair at July 01, 2010 02:17 PM (4sj7x)

3 Please, don't touch that.

Posted by: Brandt at July 01, 2010 02:18 PM (8fr2h)

4 We're adding a little something to this month's sales contest. As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anybody want to see second prize?
Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired.

Posted by: Blake at July 01, 2010 02:20 PM (Vol3D)

5 When I gave money to Ace of Spades, my bald spot filled-in...

Huh. Didn't work for me...

Posted by: Rasheed Wallace at July 01, 2010 02:21 PM (XIXhw)

6 If we don't donate, the terrorists will have won the One.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at July 01, 2010 02:21 PM (3fiIy)

7 But how will I pay for my hookers and blow?

Posted by: Xoxotl at July 01, 2010 02:22 PM (Qvf+8)

8 I gave to Ace and I can see again!

Posted by: robtr at July 01, 2010 02:22 PM (fwSHf)

9 After I gave to Ace, all the women at the shelter wanted me.

Sacred honor kept me from taking advantage.

Posted by: sifty at July 01, 2010 02:22 PM (JR2D9)

10 you're not going to need money where we're going! DOOM DOOM DOOOOMMM!!!!

Posted by: evil libertarian at July 01, 2010 02:23 PM (CeTMH)

11 I was coaching in Omaha when Eddie Shore sent me a guy who was a terrrible masterbater. He'd deliberately would get a penalty so that he would go in the box and huh huh huh.

Donating to Ace helped him. He only does it while reading AoSHQ now.

Posted by: Joe McGrath at July 01, 2010 02:24 PM (Vol3D)

Done.

When do I get my copy of '1001 ways to prepare Hobo Offal'?

Posted by: garrett at July 01, 2010 02:24 PM (8fr2h)

13 I gave to Ace, and now my palms have hair. Thanks Ace!

Posted by: Former Omaha Player at July 01, 2010 02:25 PM (Vol3D)

14 I can haz my AoSHQ tote now?

What about a complimentary 'Celtic Women' DVD?

Posted by: laceyunderalls at July 01, 2010 02:25 PM (pLTLS)

15 When I donated, my wiener got bigger

Posted by: Bubble Ba'athist at July 01, 2010 02:27 PM (AnTyA)

16 I donated to Ace, and my Insurance Premiums went down 3000%!

Posted by: Barack Obama at July 01, 2010 02:27 PM (8fr2h)

17 The Paypal button will move farther to the left once it's elected.

Posted by: oblig. at July 01, 2010 02:28 PM (x7Ao8)

18 senator robert byrd didn't donate and now he's dead. just saying.

Posted by: evil libertarian at July 01, 2010 02:28 PM (CeTMH)

19 I donated to AoS and Obama's Intrade spread increased to 25%!!!!!!!

Posted by: In before the troll at July 01, 2010 02:31 PM (P9+0W)

20 So, when's the DrewM-a-thon???

Posted by: Stan at July 01, 2010 02:31 PM (9hFQV)

Ooohhhhhh Mr. Ace.....you so soft and furry...... me so horny.

Posted by: Thai Tranny Hookers at July 01, 2010 02:31 PM (1zSUe)

22 I'll give him a couple bucks. But first, he will blow me.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 01, 2010 02:32 PM (VW9/y)

For Every Dollar You Donate To Ace, I'll Eat a Wiener!

(jpeg has a funneh title...sorry drew)

Posted by: Creepy Ginger Chick at July 01, 2010 02:32 PM (8fr2h)

24 I have a J-Cup now! Thanks, Ace-A-Thon! What I'm saying is I now have huge titties, where before I did not. This is what I mean.

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at July 01, 2010 02:33 PM (wd0Iq)

25 Jeeze, this place just got all PBS'y...

Ick....and not even the offer of a free Yanti dvd...

Posted by: Portnoy at July 01, 2010 02:33 PM (azgo2)

26 Ace will pay for my gas and mortgage!

Posted by: Dr. Varno at July 01, 2010 02:34 PM (3fiIy)

27 Donating to Ace doesn't make you go, it just makes going easier!

Posted by: Stool Softener at July 01, 2010 02:34 PM (8fr2h)

What's it cost to buy the banning of a co-blogger? Temporally and permanent rates please. Do the rates change for each cob-logger?

Also, what would a 1,000 work screed that just goes off on AllahPundit?

Posted by: Jim in San Diego at July 01, 2010 02:35 PM (oIp16)

29 Every time you don't contribute to AoS when prompted, God kills a kitteh.

So please contribute. Think of the kittehs!

Posted by: The Goricle at July 01, 2010 02:35 PM (c0A3e)

Yanti?

Do you mean Yanni? Or Yentl? Or Yeti? Or Yngwe?

Posted by: Dr. Varno at July 01, 2010 02:35 PM (3fiIy)

31 Damn runningrn disease!

How much do I have to contribute to receive a runningrn disease cure?

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at July 01, 2010 02:36 PM (c0A3e)

32 "Yanti? Do you mean Yanni? Or Yentl? Or Yeti? Or Yngwe?" I think it's a Greek Yeti.

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at July 01, 2010 02:36 PM (wd0Iq)

33 When I donated to Ace of Spades, many Ukrainian and Nigerian small-business owners received my name and bank account numbers, so that they too could experience the thrill of taking money from a credulous dumbass.

Posted by: Monty at July 01, 2010 02:39 PM (jM/Et)

34 Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at July 01, 2010 06:36 PM (wd0Iq)

I know what the hell I meant goddamnit!!!!!

oops...Full Frontal Yeti....

Posted by: Portnoy at July 01, 2010 02:40 PM (azgo2)

35 This blog is a big fucking deal.

And don't be such a smart-ass.

Posted by: Sheriff Joe Biden at July 01, 2010 02:40 PM (c0A3e)

36 "Where's Joe?" These little insider references are great.

Posted by: Stan at July 01, 2010 02:42 PM (9hFQV)

37 I gave to Ace of Spades and got twelve pack abs.

Posted by: Guy With Twelve Pack Abs at July 01, 2010 02:42 PM (4sj7x)

38 I donated and I also now have a J-cup.

In my pants.

Posted by: Black Vulcan at July 01, 2010 02:43 PM (T0NGe)

39 Or Wookiee?

Posted by: Dr. Varno at July 01, 2010 02:43 PM (3fiIy)

40 37 I gave to Ace of Spades and got twelve pack abs.

Posted by: Guy With Twelve Pack Abs at July 01, 2010 06:42 PM (4sj7x)

I dint give to Ace of Spades and just got a 12 pack.

Posted by: Standing Motionless in Your Back Yard at July 01, 2010 02:45 PM (azgo2)

41 When are we getting T-Shirts????

Posted by: SDH at July 01, 2010 02:46 PM (s6TH7)

42 I gave to Ace and I got a rock.

Posted by: Charlie Brown at July 01, 2010 02:46 PM (T0NGe)

43 I donated and Canada achieved independence!

Seriously, thanks Ace for all the good work. Cheers!

Posted by: The Drunken Conservative at July 01, 2010 02:50 PM (piiWA)

44 I released my second chakra all up in dat paypal link.

Posted by: Dunkirk at July 01, 2010 02:51 PM (ZkQ3p)

45 takeyourhandoutofyourpantsandgivecashtoacemachine givemoneytoacemachine moneybombmachines paypalmachines deadhobomachines taitrannyhookermachinespaulankamachines fatalgoremachines showusyourtittiemachines ontmachines barbedcockofsatanmachines darthchaneymachines suckitbitchezmachines getyershineboxmachines spammachines

Posted by: The Great Machine at July 01, 2010 02:51 PM (6zS6w)

46 Donate now or you'll have to blow me.

Posted by: Dick Cheney at July 01, 2010 02:51 PM (XIXhw)

47 I gave, it was a tax write-off - right.

Posted by: Jean at July 01, 2010 02:51 PM (CPefM)

48 I wanted to donate to AoSHQ using some of my Harvard-generated bounty, but "Dolly" had sprung a leak...again.

Posted by: Palin Steele (the biggest emo git ever banned from AoSHQ) at July 01, 2010 02:52 PM (c0A3e)

49 I sent money from my secret Arctic Unit Deployment Secret Area.

Posted by: 3rd Lt. Raydouche at July 01, 2010 02:55 PM (JR2D9)

What Level do I have to pledge to for official AoSHQ Strap On?

Posted by: Elena Kagen at July 01, 2010 02:56 PM (8fr2h)

51 Dammit, someone CafePress some AoSHQ gear. Tight black t-shirts for the 'ettes would be a good start. "Property of the moronosphere" thongs?

Posted by: AngelEm at July 01, 2010 02:58 PM (I2Yog)

52 How much do you tip an Ewok?

Posted by: George Costanza at July 01, 2010 02:58 PM (8fr2h)

Excuse me, but exactly what qualifications does Paul Anka have that make him eligible to be the official AoSHQ Coroner?

What?....Crooner?....oh, ummmm.....never mind.

Posted by: gebrauchshund at July 01, 2010 02:59 PM (d7k0J)

54 I agree with AngelEm. At the very least I expected a bumper sticker:

Armed moron on board. Stay at least three car lengths away.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 01, 2010 03:00 PM (UOM48)

Hey, Ace -

I'm 'Anonymous'.

Posted by: Ted Danson at July 01, 2010 03:00 PM (8fr2h)

56 I just thought of another awesome AoSHQ bumper sticker:

Release my second Chakra....._{Al Gore}

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 01, 2010 03:01 PM (UOM48)

Done.

Where the hell is my lesbian pron?

....

Thieves.

Small, furry, forest moon of Endor thieves.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at July 01, 2010 03:02 PM (FVu4D)

58 If you donate to Ace, I will continue to support 2nd Amendment Rights.

Posted by: Harry "Palms" Reid at July 01, 2010 03:02 PM (YVZlY)

59 Can we donate other things?

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at July 01, 2010 03:03 PM (wd0Iq)

60 Threaten to break to blog again tonight and Ace will be rolling in donations.

Posted by: Retread at July 01, 2010 03:04 PM (kVcC7)

61 I betcha AoS coffee mugs would sell pretty good. Seems like we're all either caffeine crazed or drunks and you can use a mug for either...

Posted by: AngelEm at July 01, 2010 03:04 PM (I2Yog)

62 i sold my rat cage face machine and took all the money and bought meth. sorry ace.

Posted by: evil libertarian at July 01, 2010 03:04 PM (CeTMH)

63 Would it be too much to ask for a cheap, plastic sling for ValuRite bottles? We'll need them in the camps. And we could identify each other.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 01, 2010 03:06 PM (UOM48)

64 66 Can we donate other things?

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at July 01, 2010 07:03 PM (wd0Iq)

Yes. Ace is very receptive to the Moronettes donating pictures of their bodies is sexually provocative outfits. Or nakid, either way.

Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at July 01, 2010 03:06 PM (YVZlY)

65 Ace of Spades bottle opener/corkscrew/hobo fillet knives would sell.

Posted by: sifty at July 01, 2010 03:06 PM (JR2D9)

66 By the Mid 1990's ALL of the worlds Fish Stocks will be Extinct if you don't donate to Ace!

Posted by: Ted Danson cica 1983 at July 01, 2010 03:06 PM (8fr2h)

67 If you don't donate, Ace will send some of his goons to your house to rape you in front of your family.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at July 01, 2010 03:07 PM (xO+6C)

68 Dammit, someone CafePress some AoSHQ gear.

Tight black t-shirts for the 'ettes would be a good start.

"Property of the moronosphere" thongs?

"Yub-Yub Club" thongs.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 01, 2010 03:08 PM (P9+0W)

If you don't donate, Ace will send some of his goons to your house to rape you in front of your family.

Considering how some of us look even without the meth, that's just wrong in all kinds of ways.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at July 01, 2010 03:09 PM (FVu4D)

70 We have to donate to Ace to find out what's in the Bill!

Posted by: Nancy Pelosi at July 01, 2010 03:09 PM (8fr2h)

71 "My soul was stolen at AoS and all I got was this lousy t-shirt"

Posted by: AngelEm at July 01, 2010 03:09 PM (I2Yog)

72 "Dammit, someone CafePress some AoSHQ gear.

Tight black t-shirts for the 'ettes would be a good start."

You clearly weren't here for the original t-shirt fiasco...

Posted by: someone at July 01, 2010 03:10 PM (DfAwB)

73 If you don't donate, Ace will send some of his goons tribe to your house to rape you hump your leg in front of your family while chanting "yub-yub...cheeeee-hAAAAA!.

FIFY

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 01, 2010 03:11 PM (P9+0W)

74 "You clearly weren't here for the original t-shirt fiasco... Posted by: someone at July 01, 2010 07:10 PM (DfAwB)" No, and I've only heard tiny bits about it.

Posted by: AngelEm at July 01, 2010 03:11 PM (I2Yog)

"I donated a Kidney to AoSHQ and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt"

Posted by: garrett at July 01, 2010 03:11 PM (8fr2h)

76 Palin Steele never donated and he "disappeared".

Posted by: Dr. Spank at July 01, 2010 03:11 PM (xO+6C)

77 If you donate, and do so generously, to AoSHQ, I will provide a link for a youtube vid that shows me going to the homes of Will Folks and Larry Marchant, personally dragging them out, and beating the crap out of them.

All the while dressed in tight jeans and semi see-through tank. And 4 inch stilettos.

Posted by: Nikki Haley (R Cand, Gov SC) at July 01, 2010 03:13 PM (92zkk)

This should be on Mugs, Boy-Shorts, Thongs, and Boxer Shorts...pretty much anything but a T-Shirt.

Posted by: garrett at July 01, 2010 03:13 PM (8fr2h)

79 85 If you donate, and do so generously, to AoSHQ, I will provide a link for a youtube vid that shows me going to the homes of Will Folks and Larry Marchant, personally dragging them out, and beating the crap out of them.

All the while dressed in tight jeans and semi see-through tank. And 4 inch stilettos.

Posted by: Nikki Haley (R Cand, Gov SC) at July 01, 2010 07:13 PM (92zkk)

Thanks babe! That was all I needed to push me over the donation edge.

Posted by: Jim in San Diego at July 01, 2010 03:14 PM (oIp16)

80 I donated to Ace and mine laptops started working for me.

Posted by: Super Spy Anna Chapman at July 01, 2010 03:15 PM (pUfK9)

81 If you don't donate, Sally Struthers will eat an entire African village.

Posted by: sifty at July 01, 2010 03:15 PM (JR2D9)

82 You clearly weren't here for the original t-shirt fiasco...

Posted by: someone at July 01, 2010 07:10 PM (DfAwB)

OK, spill it. How did that one go sideways? I know the story HAS to be good.

Posted by: Jim in San Diego at July 01, 2010 03:15 PM (oIp16)

83 RayGun didn't donate and Ace took a foot.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at July 01, 2010 03:16 PM (xO+6C)

84 I'd donate, but I want to know one thing: Do the guys get shirts?

Posted by: Steve L. at July 01, 2010 03:16 PM (mIIVr)

85 We donated to Ace and he allowed us to spam during the ONT only.

Posted by: lacewigs at July 01, 2010 03:16 PM (pUfK9)

I geeve to Meester Ace so la migra no come for me

Posted by: Alberto Einstein at July 01, 2010 03:17 PM (AnTyA)

If you don't donate, Sally Struthers will eat an entire African village.

Uh, I think Nairobi or Cape Town migh be in danger.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at July 01, 2010 03:17 PM (FVu4D)

88 I tried to give money under the name "Iiudyt Wwwieuej" but was rejected because the name didn't match the credit card. Why is it harder to give money to Ace than it was to make an official campaign donation to the Indonesian Imbecile? The Precedent's website took my "Iiudyt Wwwieuej" money with no complaint, at all, during the campaign, but Ace is just too good for that ...

I'm calling that shithead Senator with the un-Constitutional campaign finance fiasco from Arizona to find out why there are less rules on campaign donations (for a race he actually ran in) than for a little web site. It would be the first time McShame has even made one mention of how The Precedent illegally raised anonymous dollars during the campaign.

Posted by: progressoverpeace at July 01, 2010 03:19 PM (Qp4DT)

OK, spill it. How did that one go sideways? I know the story HAS to be good.

I've been coming here since 2006ish and even then this was taboo.

What the hell happened? Did someone see LauraW naked or something?

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at July 01, 2010 03:19 PM (FVu4D)

90 Anyone care to elaborate on the first "T-Shirt fiasco?" I do some work for a sporting goods distributor that has a printer for high-quality shirts. I can get t-shirts printed for far less than CafÃ© Press.

DrewM?
Laura?
Bueller?

Posted by: NJConservative at July 01, 2010 03:19 PM (LH6ir)

91 If I had money, I would donate. I don't. I'm sorry. If I manage to get a job, sure.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at July 01, 2010 03:19 PM (eNxMU)

92 I've always wanted a sleeveless shirt like they had in the series Rome. Like Titus Pullo wore "A Legion of Moron's"

Posted by: Paladin at July 01, 2010 03:19 PM (2X4q0)

93 Donate to Ace and I'll put my skirt back on!

Posted by: Wonder Woman at July 01, 2010 03:20 PM (8fr2h)

94 Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow.

Posted by: An Endorsement from a Kittens at July 01, 2010 03:21 PM (/U/Mr)

95 I just paypalled $30. Better convert that quickly to Valu-Rite or other material goods which will hold their value better than the US dollar in "Recovery Summer". Thanks Joe Biden, you fucking arrogant moron (and not the good kind)

Posted by: Frank G at July 01, 2010 03:21 PM (4X0aT)

96 I hope this doesn't come back to haunt me like the Scott Brown donation.

Posted by: ziptie at July 01, 2010 03:23 PM (UdYT0)

97 Aunt Zeituni donated and she got to stay!

Posted by: sifty at July 01, 2010 03:23 PM (JR2D9)

98 Excuse me, but exactly what qualifications does Paul Anka have that make him eligible to be the official AoSHQ Coroner?

Dude, everyone knows Quincy is the Official AoS HQ Coroner.

Posted by: DrewM. at July 01, 2010 03:24 PM (X/Lqh)

99 I would give Ace money but Mom hasn't given me my allowance yet this week.

Posted by: Person of Stupid at July 01, 2010 03:25 PM (sAwen)

100 Posted by: NJConservative at July 01, 2010 07:19 PM (LH6ir)

Don't know.

I think it was before my time.

Posted by: DrewM. at July 01, 2010 03:25 PM (X/Lqh)

101

I donated to ace while wearing a 3 Wolf Moon t-shirt and my cock grew a full thirteen inches !

Posted by: Blazer at July 01, 2010 03:26 PM (t72+4)

102 T-Shirts and mugs with the AOS logo!

Posted by: nikkolai at July 01, 2010 03:27 PM (RahXo)

103 Donate to AoSHQ! We need all the customers that we can get stumble to our product..

Posted by: The Val-U-Rite Corp at July 01, 2010 03:27 PM (c0A3e)

104 Sorry, but I'm still recovering from 2 1/2 years of funemployment.

I think I have .38 cents left on the unemployment card. You can have that if you want it.

But, hey, keep up the good work and all that.

Posted by: mpur in Texas (kicking Mexico's ass since 1836) at July 01, 2010 03:28 PM (b8VPN)

105 I donated to ace while wearing a 3 Wolf Moon t-shirt and my cock grew a full thirteen inches ! Posted by: Blazer at July 01, 2010 07:26 PM (t72+4) Ouch. We're going to need more booze, and you're going to need a blood transfusion to run that thing.

Posted by: Moronettes everywhere at July 01, 2010 03:29 PM (I2Yog)

106 I gave to Ace and I can see again!

Posted by: robtr at July 01, 2010 06:22 PM (fwSHf)

Who is this "Ace" and where do I donate?

Need to know before my date with Elena Kagan this Saturday....

Posted by: Governor Patterson at July 01, 2010 03:29 PM (Ulu3i)

107 "Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow."

The cut of your gib is very succinct. Your views are very intriguing, and I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Posted by: Intrepid at July 01, 2010 03:30 PM (92zkk)

108 Greta Van Sustren donated and now they have Natalie Holloway's killer in custody...

Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at July 01, 2010 03:32 PM (YVZlY)

109 Damn. Reverse sock fail.

Posted by: International Brotherhood of Dogs Undercover at July 01, 2010 03:32 PM (92zkk)

110 Donate or Ace will punish you with a baby.

Posted by: dogfish at July 01, 2010 03:32 PM (Pe+0s)

111 Ace-A-Thon? Hell, I figured the Jello-O pudding residuals alone were in the low 6 figures.

Posted by: Andy at July 01, 2010 03:32 PM (pRbtk)

112

Let's see if my longstanding unbroken curse holds of websites going off the rails immediately after I donate to them.

4 out of 5 times they 'blowed up' was within 90 days. The other time took longer, but that was LGF, and God was it spectacular.

Posted by: Jim in San Diego at July 01, 2010 03:33 PM (oIp16)

113 Does anyone know how to revive an unconscious chicken?

Posted by: Person of Stupid at July 01, 2010 03:33 PM (sAwen)

114 our comments are not enough? you want our money too?

Posted by: phoenixgirl at July 01, 2010 03:34 PM (ucxC/)

115 Maybe some smelling salts will work. Can chickens sniff through their beaks?

Posted by: Person of Stupid at July 01, 2010 03:35 PM (sAwen)

116 I donated to ace...

Posted by: That chick Ace was going to spill the beans on but came to a truce with at July 01, 2010 03:36 PM (pUfK9)

117 I would donate to Ace, but these guys around here, they keep a really tight leash on me.

_{No wookie jokes, you bastards.}

Posted by: Michelle O at July 01, 2010 03:37 PM (rqC5o)

118

Rasputin...

Blender.

Head.

Puree.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at July 01, 2010 03:37 PM (FVu4D)

119 What Level do I have to pledge to for official AoSHQ Strap On?

You mean to receive it, or do you mean to receive it?

Posted by: John P. Squibob at July 01, 2010 03:37 PM (/U/Mr)

120 Alright, I donated a couple of nice bottles of Scotch worth of dough to the head ewok. Or 4,300 barrels of Valu-Rite. His choice.

Posted by: Andy at July 01, 2010 03:37 PM (pRbtk)

121

ace, a calendar and a cookbook that's what you need to do, just like I did. Then you won't have to grovel for money from the plebes who read your site.

Posted by: Charles Johnson at July 01, 2010 03:38 PM (t72+4)

122 31 Damn runningrn disease!

How much do I have to contribute to receive a runningrn disease cure?

Bwhahahaha! I win again! And obviously, you haven't given enough!

OK, now everybody sing it with me:
"Cause you gotta cut loose, footloose! Kick off those Sunday Shoes!"

Posted by: John Edwards at July 01, 2010 03:38 PM (CfmlF)

123 I donated to Ace and he dedicated a flaming skull to me.

Posted by: Blago at July 01, 2010 03:39 PM (YVZlY)

124 I'M DR. AMY BISHOP AND I DONATED TO ACE

Posted by: DR. AMY BISHOP at July 01, 2010 03:39 PM (pUfK9)

125

D'oh! I too will have to hit teh paypal button now~! Heh--darn stinky old sock!

Posted by: runningrn at July 01, 2010 03:39 PM (CfmlF)

126

I will gladly pay you tomorrow for a blog post today.

Posted by: Warden at July 01, 2010 03:40 PM (QoR4a)

127 For the love of God donate, he starting to sell organs we need.

Posted by: The Inner Circle at July 01, 2010 03:40 PM (xO+6C)

128 There should be a comment box on the PayPal link. We could add memos like "have a great weekend" or "don't spend this all in one place" or "for sexual favors."

Posted by: pitythefool at July 01, 2010 03:40 PM (FB10F)

129 Donate to ace... and then donate even more to me, or Jesus will kill you.

Posted by: Benny Hinn at July 01, 2010 03:40 PM (pUfK9)

130 Please everybody, give. Don't give until it hurts, give until it stops hurting. Only you can prevent an impoverished, sick ewok from starving to death.

Posted by: Sally Struthers, mascara streaked tears running down face at July 01, 2010 03:41 PM (CfmlF)

131

Maybe ace could do some sort of auction.

Like offer up his lesbian pron bookmarks to the highest bidder.

Posted by: Warden at July 01, 2010 03:42 PM (QoR4a)

132 A couple of feathers fell off this thing while I was ... you know. Maybe I could tickle it back awake?

It sorta ... moaned before it went unconscious.

Posted by: Person of Stupid at July 01, 2010 03:43 PM (sAwen)

133

Â“Everything IÂ’m doing now in terms of talking about climate, talking about immigration, talking about Gitmo is completely opposite of where the tea party movementÂ’s at,Â” Lindsey Graham says. Â“The problem with the tea party, I think, is itÂ’s just unsustainable because they can never come up with a coherent vision for governing the country. It will die out.Â”

(sigh) Does Nikki Haley have a sister, or something

...c'mon SC...you know what to do

Posted by: Alberto Einstein at July 01, 2010 03:43 PM (AnTyA)

134 Donate to ace... or no more blue tits!

Posted by: James Cameron at July 01, 2010 03:43 PM (pUfK9)

135 I sent money from my secret Arctic Unit Deployment Secret Area.

Posted by: 3rd Lt. Raydouche at July 01, 2010 06:55 PM (JR2D9)

LOL! That's funneh! You guys are on fire! This is a great thread! (And yes I will give until it stops hurting).

Posted by: runningrn at July 01, 2010 03:43 PM (CfmlF)

136 Yeah, Ace, when are you going to start shooting some crappy photography to supplement your income?

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at July 01, 2010 03:44 PM (c0A3e)

137 "Yes. Ace is very receptive to the Moronettes donating pictures of their bodies is sexually provocative outfits. Or nakid, either way." So, he doesn't want socks and a can of creamed corn? His loss.

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at July 01, 2010 03:44 PM (wd0Iq)

138

I donated to ace, but not because he is the father of that baby he was seen holding. Nope. Not ace. It was some other guy.

Posted by: Zombie Fred Baron at July 01, 2010 03:45 PM (plsiE)

139 I donated to ace, and Wesley returned from the dead.

Posted by: Princess Buttercup at July 01, 2010 03:45 PM (pUfK9)

140 If you donate, we'll build the damn fence.

Posted by: John McCain at July 01, 2010 03:45 PM (rqC5o)

141 Before donating to Ace, I'd get stuck in the mud at the worst possible moment. After donating? Ain't been embarrassed on TV since.

Posted by: Israeli Tank at July 01, 2010 03:46 PM (plsiE)

142 I donated to ace and turned into a born-again virgin.

Posted by: Pamela Anderson at July 01, 2010 03:47 PM (pUfK9)

143 I remember something vaguely about the T-shirt fiasco. Don't remember the particulars, just that it went sideways and became a subject no longer discussed. Hell, that's been forever, so it's ok to talk about, I would think.

Posted by: di butler, maker of bad decisions at July 01, 2010 03:47 PM (8TRAy)

144 Maybe I'll just cuddle with it for awhile.

Posted by: Person of Stupid at July 01, 2010 03:47 PM (sAwen)

145

Donate to ace or I'll turn gay !

I swear, I'll do it, Im holding a loaded cock to my head right now !

Posted by: Ricky Martin at July 01, 2010 03:48 PM (t72+4)

146 If you don't donate to Ace, remember that I can still make the Star Wars Musical.

Posted by: George Lucas at July 01, 2010 03:48 PM (c0A3e)

147 I gave to Ace, and now my car only turns right.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at July 01, 2010 03:48 PM (zgZzy)

148 Donate to ace... or the pudding gets it!

Posted by: Bill Cosby at July 01, 2010 03:49 PM (pUfK9)

149 I'm waiting until the Florida primary to donate.

Posted by: Rudy! at July 01, 2010 03:49 PM (FVu4D)

150 Giving to Ace is a big fucking deal!

Posted by: Joe Biden at July 01, 2010 03:49 PM (zgZzy)

151 Please stop, we can't take much more this, seriously.

Posted by: Hobo Front Of America at July 01, 2010 03:52 PM (xO+6C)

152 If I donate, can I get a new liver?

Posted by: PAgirlinNC at July 01, 2010 03:52 PM (c4hJH)

153 I don't know anyone who has ever given to ace, therefore nobody ever has. Oh, and Sarah Palin's uterus.

Posted by: Andi Sullivan at July 01, 2010 03:52 PM (pUfK9)

154 I refuse to donate unless it is for the Childern!

Posted by: Nancy Pelosi at July 01, 2010 03:52 PM (fqxV7)

155 After being exposed as a phony soldier, I contributed to Ace.

Afterwords, I was able to then make it to the 7th week of Army Boot Camp.

Posted by: Jessie MacBeth at July 01, 2010 03:53 PM (c0A3e)

156 I ponied up! For the first time, lolz!

Posted by: 5Cats at July 01, 2010 03:53 PM (HBEhc)

157 Ace?......Never Heard of him!

Posted by: Charlie Gibson at July 01, 2010 03:53 PM (fqxV7)

158 Please stop, we can't take much more this, seriously.

Posted by: Hobo Front Of America at July 01, 2010 07:52 PM (xO+6C)

SPLITTERS!!!

Posted by: American Hobo Front at July 01, 2010 03:54 PM (FVu4D)

159

Every ten minutes that Ace doesn't receive a donation, he drops a quart of Valu-Rite from the roof.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at July 01, 2010 03:54 PM (zgZzy)

160 Guys, it's ok. I managed to wake the chicken up with some mouth to beak resuscitation.

Back to business ... uh uh uh uh momma! uh uh uhh

Posted by: Person of Stupid at July 01, 2010 03:55 PM (sAwen)

161 I donated to ace and my phones started to work.

Posted by: Mary Landrieu at July 01, 2010 03:55 PM (pUfK9)

162 Donate to Ace or I'll git after y'all with my Winchester 94.

Posted by: Dale Peterson at July 01, 2010 03:56 PM (pRbtk)

163 I'll give if you guys just leave me the fuck alone

Posted by: The Chicken at July 01, 2010 03:56 PM (AnTyA)

164 O.K. I donated....not wheres my Tappioca Pudding?

Posted by: Indian Giver at July 01, 2010 03:56 PM (fqxV7)

165

I...umm... downated to ace out of....ummmm.... my oown poket and.... uhhhhh.... wun a democratik prymary.

Posted by: Alvin Greene at July 01, 2010 03:57 PM (plsiE)

166 *Tip*

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at July 01, 2010 03:57 PM (0q2P7)

167 We were thinking of donating $20 billion to ace, but instead we put it in an escrow account. The hole is still leaking, so learn from our mistakes.

Posted by: British Petroleum at July 01, 2010 03:57 PM (pUfK9)

168 Corey Haim? Failed to donate.

Posted by: Dr Spank at July 01, 2010 03:58 PM (xO+6C)

169 I donated to Ace and my Percocet Prescription Refills went to Infinity!

Posted by: Patches Kennedy at July 01, 2010 03:58 PM (8fr2h)

170 Corey Haim? Failed to donate.

Posted by: Dr Spank at July 01, 2010 07:58 PM (xO+6C)

That reminds us, we haven't heard from Corey Feldman, yet.

Posted by: PayPal at July 01, 2010 03:59 PM (pUfK9)

171

Donate to ace or I will release the Kracken ! And not just release it in any kind of way mind you, but release it in a newer updated Liam Neeson kind of way, not that lame ass Laurence Olivier kind of way.

Posted by: Zeus at July 01, 2010 03:59 PM (t72+4)

172 I donated to Ace, and he ate my Tumor...Win-Win?

Posted by: Ted Kennedy at July 01, 2010 03:59 PM (fqxV7)

173 I donated to Ace and he helped me with my wide stance, IYKWIMAITYD.

Posted by: Larry Craig at July 01, 2010 04:00 PM (pRbtk)

174 Losing consciousness, please give....

Posted by: The Inner Circle, Now Without Kidneys at July 01, 2010 04:01 PM (xO+6C)

175 Uh, oh. Uhmmmm ... are chickens supposed to bleed from their eyes?

Posted by: Person of Stupid at July 01, 2010 04:01 PM (sAwen)

176 I donated to ace, and now I'm $750 million richer.

Posted by: Elin Woods at July 01, 2010 04:01 PM (pUfK9)

177

Donate to ace and I'll quit raping your childhood.

Posted by: J.J. Abrams at July 01, 2010 04:04 PM (t72+4)

178

I donated to Ace and...

wait a fucking minute....

Posted by: Greece at July 01, 2010 04:04 PM (FVu4D)

179 I donated to ace and there's something growing down there... Wait, no, nevermind.

Posted by: AllahP at July 01, 2010 04:04 PM (pUfK9)

180 I donated to Ace and no longer embarrass myself when getting too drunk.

Posted by: Mel Gibson at July 01, 2010 04:05 PM (YVZlY)

181 If I could find some little baggies to put on this sucker's feet, I could 69 it. You know, just to break things up.

Posted by: Person of Stupid at July 01, 2010 04:05 PM (sAwen)

182 I want insanely overpriced swag next time.

I'd throw in more tip bux if I were able to rock some cool AoSHQ logoed apparel while visiting Berkeley and getting bludgeoned to death by the peace and love movement.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at July 01, 2010 04:05 PM (0q2P7)

183 I didn't donate to Ace, and lost $750 million.

Posted by: The Great Machine at July 01, 2010 04:06 PM (6zS6w)

184 If I give more, can Teh Ace make the Twilight mania go away??!!

Posted by: laceyunderalls at July 01, 2010 04:06 PM (F5D93)

185 I donated to ace and he let me see his ding-a-ling, so I let him see mine.

Posted by: Lady Gaga at July 01, 2010 04:06 PM (pUfK9)

186

Donate to ace and I promise to just shrivel up and die.

Posted by: Arlen Specter at July 01, 2010 04:07 PM (t72+4)

187 Donate to ace and you can guarantee jobs created or saved.

Posted by: Thai Tranny Hookers at July 01, 2010 04:07 PM (pUfK9)

188 wtf? sock didn't take

Posted by: Tiger at July 01, 2010 04:07 PM (6zS6w)

189 After donating to ace, he suggested that putting the antenna around the outside rim of the iPhone 4 was a bad idea. I ignored him, because I'm Steve Jobs and he's not.

Posted by: Steve Jobs at July 01, 2010 04:07 PM (plsiE)

190 I wish we would have donated to Ace.

Posted by: DJIA and NASDAQ at July 01, 2010 04:08 PM (YVZlY)

191 I donated to Ace, and I'm still a douche.

Posted by: Charles Johnson at July 01, 2010 04:08 PM (zgZzy)

192 I donated to Ace, and now he is one of "My Friends"

Posted by: John McCain at July 01, 2010 04:08 PM (fqxV7)

193

Donate to ace and we promise that we'll win the next Super Bowl !

Posted by: The Philadelphia Eagles at July 01, 2010 04:08 PM (t72+4)

194 I'm going to "hike the Appalachian Trail" but before I do, I'm donating to Ace.

Posted by: Mark Sanford at July 01, 2010 04:09 PM (pRbtk)

195 Well what do you know? This thing WILL fit in a chicken's mouth. I guess I don't hate God today.

Posted by: Person of Stupid at July 01, 2010 04:09 PM (sAwen)

196 Donate to Ace, or I'll really throw somebody out the window this time.

/Have you killed anybody today?

Posted by: Pete Stark (Douche-Cali) at July 01, 2010 04:10 PM (c0A3e)

197 We didn't donate to ace until 2005. Take the fucking hint.

Posted by: Countries of the Indian Ocean 2004 at July 01, 2010 04:10 PM (pUfK9)

198 I invented the internet and I donated to Ace......What have you done?

Posted by: Al Gore at July 01, 2010 04:11 PM (fqxV7)

199 Donate to Ace. It's not a trap!

Posted by: Admiral Ackbar at July 01, 2010 04:12 PM (zgZzy)

200 Donate to ace, and I'll let you in on what is going on with the hand behind my back.

Posted by: Mickey Mouse at July 01, 2010 04:13 PM (cniXs)

201 I donated to Ace and for the first time in my adult life, I am proud of my country.

Posted by: Michelle Obama at July 01, 2010 04:14 PM (8fr2h)

202 208 We didn't donate to ace until 2005. Take the fucking hint.

Neither did we.

Posted by: Iceland at July 01, 2010 04:14 PM (c0A3e)

203 Ace loves God, therefore he is worthy of our money.

Posted by: Person of Stupid at July 01, 2010 04:14 PM (sAwen)

204 I donated to Ace and I started plowing Carrie Fisher . . . back when she was hot.

Posted by: Han Solo at July 01, 2010 04:14 PM (zgZzy)

205

Daddy -

Why don't you donate your Nobel Peace Prize money to ace?

Posted by: Mahlia at July 01, 2010 04:15 PM (8fr2h)

206 My life companion Pat and I donated to Ace so the mean Republicans wouldn't ask me any tough questions in my confirmation hearing.

Thanks, Ace. Great job!

Posted by: Elena Kagan at July 01, 2010 04:15 PM (pRbtk)

207 15 When I donated, my wiener got bigger

Posted by: Bubble Ba'athist at July 01, 2010 06:27 PM

It was the pr0n..nevermind

Posted by: Bubble Ba'athist at July 01, 2010 04:15 PM (AnTyA)

208 I came for the people who did not donate to Ace!

Posted by: Hurricane Katrina at July 01, 2010 04:15 PM (fqxV7)

209

I donated to Ace and got a fantastic hat.

Don't masturbate, kids.

Posted by: Da Pope at July 01, 2010 04:16 PM (FVu4D)

210

We donated to ace and were able to take out a Star Destroyer with our ion cannon allowing a transport to break through before the the shield generator was destroyed.

Posted by: The Rebels on Hoth at July 01, 2010 04:16 PM (t72+4)

211

I gave to Ace and kicked morphine....BLEARRRRRRRGHHHHH!!!!

Posted by: Albert from Little House on the Prarie at July 01, 2010 04:16 PM (DPM1U)

212 I donated to ace and he let me see his ding-a-ling, so I let him see mine.
Posted by: Lady Gaga

I'm the one with a ding-a-ling, damn it. And I'm donating it to Ace.

Posted by: Chuck Berry at July 01, 2010 04:16 PM (rqC5o)

213 I donated to Ace and my leprosy was healed!

Posted by: Who Knows at July 01, 2010 04:17 PM (7FgWm)

214 I donated to Ace and now everyone loves my nuts.

Posted by: ShamWow guy at July 01, 2010 04:17 PM (YVZlY)

215 I gave money to Ace of Spades and... well... you know.

Posted by: Jonah Falcon at July 01, 2010 04:17 PM (4sj7x)

216 We've never donated to ace.

Posted by: Chicago Cubs at July 01, 2010 04:18 PM (IppGc)

217 Just sprinkle a little bird seed on the tip and he goes right after it.

Posted by: Person of Stupid at July 01, 2010 04:18 PM (sAwen)

218 Donate, but don't let him do your taxes.

Posted by: Nicholas Cage at July 01, 2010 04:18 PM (xO+6C)

219

Matt Damon!

Matt D ..

Dah...

Matt .. Daaa

Mmm ..

Matt Doh ...

Matt Donate?

Matt Donate!

Posted by: Matt Damon at July 01, 2010 04:18 PM (QoR4a)

220 Meow. (My mom slapped me cause I donated to Ace--and I told her I was gay).

Posted by: Little Kitteh with a Tophat at July 01, 2010 04:18 PM (DPM1U)

221

That guy I threw off the Dirigible actually had a ticket...but he didn't donate to Ace.

Posted by: Indiana Jones at July 01, 2010 04:18 PM (8fr2h)

222 Don't be a pig in heat, donate today!

Don't find yourself raped by...well, you know.

_{That's never gonna get old.}

Posted by: Mel Gibson at July 01, 2010 04:19 PM (JR2D9)

223 We didn't donate to Ace. We suck!

Posted by: the 52% at July 01, 2010 04:19 PM (YVZlY)

224 I gave to Ace of Spades and got away from Al! Just in time! I shit you not!

Posted by: Tipper Gore at July 01, 2010 04:19 PM (4sj7x)

225 I donated to Ace and nailed Julia Roberts.

Posted by: Lyle Lovett at July 01, 2010 04:20 PM (FVu4D)

226 We didn't donate to Ace and our faces melted when we opened the Ark of the Covenant.

Posted by: Belloq and Toht at July 01, 2010 04:21 PM (zgZzy)

227 I WANT $2.00!

To donate to Ace.

Posted by: John Cusack's paperboy at July 01, 2010 04:21 PM (JR2D9)

228 I killed Sully because he didn't donate to ace.

Posted by: John Matrix at July 01, 2010 04:21 PM (IppGc)

229 I donated to ace and they paid me millions to look dumb while mumbling things into the camera!

Posted by: Keanu Reeves at July 01, 2010 04:21 PM (QoR4a)

230

I donated to ace and received a coupon for a free Happy Meal which I was able to enjoy in the cockpit of my X-Wing before buying it in the trench.

Posted by: Jeg Porkins at July 01, 2010 04:21 PM (t72+4)

231

I didn't donate to ace because I wanted to buy a Big Mac instead.

Now look at me!

Posted by: Michael Moore at July 01, 2010 04:22 PM (QoR4a)

232

I donated to Ace and I started plowing Carrie Fisher . . . back when she was hot.

Posted by: Han Solo at July 01, 2010 08:14 PM (zgZzy)

Hey what a coink-a-dink! I donated to Ace and the same thing happened!

Posted by: Solo Hand at July 01, 2010 04:22 PM (CfmlF)

233 Keifer Sutherland didn't donate to Ace. Enough said.

Posted by: Producers of 24 at July 01, 2010 04:22 PM (YVZlY)

234 I donated to Ace and now my cans are huge!

Posted by: Christina Hendricks at July 01, 2010 04:23 PM (zgZzy)

235 251

I donated to Ace and I started plowing Carrie Fisher . . . back when she was hot.

Posted by: Han Solo at July 01, 2010 08:14 PM (zgZzy)

Hey what a coink-a-dink! I donated to Ace and the same thing happened!

Posted by: Solo Hand at July 01, 2010 08:22 PM (CfmlF)

Say it ain't so!

Posted by: Tom Hanks at July 01, 2010 04:23 PM (YVZlY)

236 I'da donated to Ace if I weren't still in this chair!

Posted by: Blanche Hudson at July 01, 2010 04:24 PM (wd0Iq)

237 Consider this a pledge: I'll donate when I get home.

Posted by: fluffy can't think of anything clever at July 01, 2010 04:24 PM (SwkdU)

238 I DIDN'T DONATE TO ACE.

Posted by: Billy Mays at July 01, 2010 04:24 PM (cniXs)

239 You had to be big shots didn't you. You had to show off. When are you gonna learn that people will like you for who you are, not for what you can give them. Well, in your race for power and glory, you forgot one small detail.

You forgot to hook up the doll donate to Ace.

Posted by: Lisa at July 01, 2010 04:24 PM (pRbtk)

240 I donated to Ace and I got to stab Commodus in the throat!

Posted by: Spaniard at July 01, 2010 04:24 PM (zgZzy)

241 Stimulate - Donate -Don't Procrastinate -Immediate -to Alleviate -and Regulate-Don't be a Queer Bait-Donate

Posted by: INXS at July 01, 2010 04:24 PM (fqxV7)

242 Al Dunbar and Brother Bruno told me if I Bootlegged that Doobie Brothers' Show they would donate the proceeds to Ace.

Posted by: Re-Run at July 01, 2010 04:25 PM (8fr2h)

243 Some say that donating to um, uh, Ace is a waste of our precious resources. But I say, every American has a right to, um, uh to get the big blog money.

Posted by: Barry Obama at July 01, 2010 04:25 PM (rqC5o)

244

We traveled back in time and donated to ace and that flipped us into a sideways universe where the exchange rate is radically different and so what happened is Good can only triumph over Evil if you turn a giant wheel and move ace's blog to somewhere else on the interwebs and no none of this really makes sense .... this blog has always been more about the characters than stuff "adding up."

What were we talking about again?

Posted by: Writers of Lost at July 01, 2010 04:26 PM (QoR4a)

245 I didn't donate to Ace and some broad broke a baseball bat over my head.

Posted by: Bam Margera at July 01, 2010 04:26 PM (zgZzy)

246 Ok, I think I wore out its mouth. Maybe I'll flip it over and try to release my second chakra onto the back of its neck.

Posted by: Person of Stupid at July 01, 2010 04:26 PM (sAwen)

247 I finally escaped from living the same day over and over by donating to ace.

Posted by: Weatherman Phil at July 01, 2010 04:27 PM (IppGc)

248

Hey - Sugar Tits...Donate to Ace!

Posted by: Mel Gibson at July 01, 2010 04:27 PM (8fr2h)

249 257 Consider this a pledge:

I'll donate when I get home.

Posted by: fluffy can't think of anything clever at July 01, 2010 08:24 PM (SwkdU)

Take your time...

Posted by: The Milkman - and yes, I donated IYKWIMAITYD at July 01, 2010 04:28 PM (YVZlY)

250 I didn't donate to Ace and now I'm D-E-D.

Posted by: Enterprise Red Shirt at July 01, 2010 04:28 PM (zgZzy)

251 Donate to ace or it's GAME OVER, MAN!

Posted by: Bill Paxton at July 01, 2010 04:28 PM (QoR4a)

252 So, he doesn't want socks and a can of creamed corn? His loss.

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at July 01, 2010 07:44 PM (wd0Iq)

Chrissakes, Joanie, for the love of all that is holy, DON'T encourage him!!

Posted by: Bill H at July 01, 2010 04:29 PM (q8CmE)

253 I donated and finally caught Lokai.

Posted by: Bele at July 01, 2010 04:29 PM (4sj7x)

254 I donated to ace and now my horribly-written gobsmackingly-stupid trash sells like hotcakes!

Posted by: Dan Brown at July 01, 2010 04:29 PM (IppGc)

255 We failed to make a donation to Ace. Worst mistake we ever made...

Posted by: Uday and Qusay at July 01, 2010 04:30 PM (YVZlY)

256

The Bike Shop Owner found out that I didn't donate to Ace.

Posted by: Dudley at July 01, 2010 04:31 PM (8fr2h)

257

Donate to ace or the Romans are gonna flog the shit out of me, then nail my goddamned hands to a cross and let me hang there until I die.

Oh, wait.

Well, shit.

Alright, just don't be a bunch of cheap assed cocksuckers. Oh, and love thy neighbor. Unless he's a fucking liberal or Paultard or some shit.

JC out!

Posted by: Jesus Christ at July 01, 2010 04:31 PM (QoR4a)

258 Make a Mutha-Fuckin' donation!

Posted by: Samuel L. Jackson at July 01, 2010 04:31 PM (YVZlY)

259 Uh...you're kidding...

Posted by: B+rry Ob+owmao at July 01, 2010 04:31 PM (HxTEJ)

260 Donate to Ace and I won't drown you in Chakra Effluent!

Posted by: Peter North at July 01, 2010 04:32 PM (8fr2h)

261 Joe the Plumber, I think It's important to spread the Wealth around, you can do that with a donation.

Posted by: Barack Obama at July 01, 2010 04:32 PM (fqxV7)

262 This note says I didn't donate to ace and now my memory's shot.

Posted by: Memento Guy at July 01, 2010 04:32 PM (IppGc)

263

I didn't donate to ace, so instead of getting to the other side of the road, some damned person of stupid picked me up and started fucking me.

Oh, how I wish I'd coughed up a little chicken feed for my furry Ewok friend!

Posted by: The Chicken at July 01, 2010 04:33 PM (QoR4a)

264 I don't always donate to blogs, but when I do, I donate to Ace of Spades.

Posted by: The Most Interesting Man in the World at July 01, 2010 04:33 PM (IppGc)

265 I don't care if you donate or not. I'm still gonna torture you.

Posted by: Mr. Blonde at July 01, 2010 04:34 PM (zgZzy)

266 Donate to Ace and we'll sink the Steve Irwin and the Bob Barker!

Posted by: Japanese Whaling Fleet at July 01, 2010 04:34 PM (8fr2h)

267 I donated to Ace, and I won the Nobel Peace Prize. Excelsior!

Posted by: Manbearpig at July 01, 2010 04:34 PM (cniXs)

268 I didn't donate to ace. Now look.

Posted by: Mr Pink at July 01, 2010 04:34 PM (QoR4a)

269 I donated to Ace and I then felt like I had to go to the bathroom?

Posted by: Zombie Elvis at July 01, 2010 04:36 PM (fqxV7)

270

After donating to Ace I didn't tip over.

Posted by: Guam at July 01, 2010 04:36 PM (plsiE)

271 I didn't donate to Ace and, even though I won the Popular Vote, George Bush preyed on our fears!

Posted by: Al Gore at July 01, 2010 04:37 PM (8fr2h)

272 I ain't fuckin' gonna donate to Ace, but I'll fuckin' hit him in the hed with my jack handle.

Posted by: WOW Gastropod at July 01, 2010 04:39 PM (DPM1U)

273 I donated to Ace, and now I feel GGGGGGGGG-R-E-A-T!

Posted by: Tony the Tiger at July 01, 2010 04:40 PM (fqxV7)

274

Mr Gorbachev, Donate to Ace!

Posted by: Zombie Reagan at July 01, 2010 04:41 PM (8fr2h)

275

Posted by: Person of Stupid at July 01, 2010 04:42 PM (sAwen)

276 There is no Dana, only Ace. Donate today!

Posted by: Gozer at July 01, 2010 04:44 PM (cniXs)

277

Lawyer: "Is donating to Ace the best worst thing you've done?"

Clinton: "Well that depends on what your definition of "Is" is"

Posted by: Slick Willy at July 01, 2010 04:45 PM (fqxV7)

278

Posted by: Person of Stupid at July 01, 2010 04:48 PM (sAwen)

279 I didn't donate to Ace, but I did nuke this fridge.

Posted by: George Lucas at July 01, 2010 04:49 PM (JR2D9)

280

Ask not what Ace can do for you!

Ask what you can do for Ace!!!

Posted by: John Fucking Kennedy at July 01, 2010 04:49 PM (7FgWm)

281 "I did not have sexual relations with that woman, but I did donate to Ace"

Posted by: Bill Clinton at July 01, 2010 04:50 PM (fqxV7)

282 We donated to Ace and the cops re-opened our case!

Posted by: American Masseuse Association at July 01, 2010 04:50 PM (zgZzy)

283

People who did not donate to Ace.

While the last one cannot melt steel, it can make it vomit.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at July 01, 2010 04:53 PM (FVu4D)

284 I donated to Ace with funds left from the bathtub renovation.

Posted by: William Howard Taft at July 01, 2010 04:53 PM (Wh0W+)

285 I donated to Ace, and I'm smart and people like me!

Posted by: Stuart Smalley at July 01, 2010 04:53 PM (fqxV7)

286

NJConservative, I am a veteran of the Great Ace T-Shirt Crisis of Aught-Five.

The short version is he got screwed over by a crappy supplier.. they fucked up orders, and had lousy shirts.

I still have mine though. I got turned down by seven Hard Rock Cafes when I offered to donate it.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at July 01, 2010 04:55 PM (Wh0W+)

287 Ooohh Ewok Master, you leady for Hot Lock Massage now?

Posted by: Thai Tranny Hookers at July 01, 2010 04:56 PM (1zSUe)

288 Ace....I donate myself!

Posted by: A Hobo at July 01, 2010 04:57 PM (fqxV7)

289 T-shirts, Dave? The guys get shirts! That's just the fucking way it is.

Posted by: Paul Anka, Ace's "T-Shirt Supplier '05" at July 01, 2010 04:58 PM (pRbtk)

290 Sent some bucks your way, Ace. Though your occasional bouts of Ewok Hyper-Rage^TM annoy the piss out of me, I just gotta keep coming back.

Posted by: Herr Blücher at July 01, 2010 04:58 PM (X3yb3)

291 I love 8 yr old boys in knickers

Posted by: Person of Stupid at July 01, 2010 04:59 PM (sAwen)

292 I just donated and have to report that not only has my penis increased in size, but it has extra girth as well!!!...Ace, you 'da man!

Posted by: billygoat at July 01, 2010 04:59 PM (5qJM5)

293 I donated to ace and I'm still a complete dumbass.

Posted by: Person of Stupid at July 01, 2010 05:00 PM (sAwen)

294

Posted by: Person of Stupid at July 01, 2010 05:06 PM (sAwen)

295 I donated and all I got in return was a raging case of panty crickets. Thanks Ace!

Posted by: Ms Choksondik at July 01, 2010 05:07 PM (uvFJG)

296 I donated to Ace before I donated against him.

Posted by: John F-ing Kerry at July 01, 2010 05:09 PM (uvFJG)

297 Schtupp Me?......No Schtupp You!

Posted by: A Jew who donated to Ace at July 01, 2010 05:09 PM (fqxV7)

298 Donate to Ace or we'll shoot this dog.

Posted by: National Lampoon at July 01, 2010 05:09 PM (1zSUe)

299 Don't forget to donate blood, he's always needing blood.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at July 01, 2010 05:10 PM (xO+6C)

300 Wish they'da had PayPal in 1836.

Posted by: Davy Crockett, William Barrett Travis & Jim Bowie at July 01, 2010 05:11 PM (1zSUe)

301 I donated to Ace and he built me a 51 foot Ladder!

Posted by: Border Jumper at July 01, 2010 05:11 PM (fqxV7)

302

Posted by: Person of Stupid at July 01, 2010 05:11 PM (sAwen)

303 "Last time I saw a mouth like Ace's...It had a Hook in it"

Posted by: Rodney Dangerfield right after he donated to Ace at July 01, 2010 05:14 PM (fqxV7)

304 Could be worse....could be raining.

Posted by: Igor at July 01, 2010 05:15 PM (1zSUe)

305 Beeep!!

Posted by: Captain Pike at July 01, 2010 05:16 PM (sJTmU)

306 I hit the PayPal for Ace but I thought about the Pamela Geller issue when I did. There needs to be another way; easy and moron tested.

Posted by: Mr. Dave at July 01, 2010 05:19 PM (1zSUe)

307 I'm a doctor, not a piggy bank! Donate on Starfleet pay? Poppycock!

Posted by: Leonard McCoy, Medical Officer at July 01, 2010 05:19 PM (sJTmU)

308

Me : "Knock-Knock"

You: "Who's there?"

Me: "Donate to Ace"

You" "Donate to Ace Who?"

Me: "Donate to Ace or Ace eat your Face!"

Posted by: Ace Wannabe at July 01, 2010 05:19 PM (fqxV7)

309 You fargin sneaky bastage. I'm gonna take your dwork. I'm gonna nail it to the wall. I'm gonna crush your boils in a meat grinder. I'm gonna cut off your arms. I'm gonna shove 'em up your icehole. Right after I donate to Ace.

Posted by: Roman Moroni at July 01, 2010 05:19 PM (pRbtk)

310

I have returned, from donating to AceofSpadesHQ.

Which is now reporting to my HQ.

Posted by: General Douglas MacArthur at July 01, 2010 05:22 PM (Wh0W+)

311

Posted by: Person of Stupid at July 01, 2010 05:23 PM (sAwen)

312

I have donated one hundred million dollars to Ace.

Posted by: sAwen at July 01, 2010 05:26 PM (7FgWm)

313 I donated to Ace, and he unbanned me!

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX at July 01, 2010 05:31 PM (2pxId)

314 333 I hit the PayPal for Ace but I thought about the Pamela Geller issue when I did. There needs to be another way; easy and moron tested.

Posted by: Mr. Dave at July 01, 2010 09:19 PM (1zSUe)

Agreed, and Pam does have some good stuff.

http://bit.ly/97zZd5

We shouldn't support those that are trying to silence or harm us.

Posted by: Jim in San Diego at July 01, 2010 05:38 PM (oIp16)

315 #312

@Dave in Texas

Do you have access to the e-mail addresses linked to each user? If so, send me an e-mail and I will explain what I am thinking about Ace Of Spades HQ t-shirts.

Posted by: NJConservative at July 01, 2010 05:45 PM (LH6ir)

316 Might want to re-post this tomorrow when a lot of people get paid.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at July 01, 2010 05:45 PM (xO+6C)

317 I donated to Ace and let me just say it's gotten me a lot of movie roles.

Posted by: Brian Dennehy at July 01, 2010 05:47 PM (XIXhw)

318 Money well spent.

Posted by: rawmuse at July 01, 2010 05:52 PM (gQWi+)

319 Look at me ... desperate to participate and be one of the gang after being an annoying dickbag troll.

Pathetic. Seeking acceptance and comradery from the very people I claim to disdain.

Maybe it's like when the high school loser claims he doesn't want to be in the "in crowd" anyway and is perfectly happy to sit home alone on a Saturday night.

Posted by: Person of Stupid at July 01, 2010 05:54 PM (sAwen)

320 I donated to Ace and my lips got freaking humongous!

Posted by: Oksana Grigorieva at July 01, 2010 05:57 PM (MLQL2)

321 My $15 damn well better go towards the hobo eradication fund.

Posted by: Guy in Utah at July 01, 2010 06:01 PM (AaQ2F)

322 345 Might want to re-post this tomorrow when a lot of people get paid.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at July 01, 2010 09:45 PM (xO+6C)

I thought today was perfect. Welfare checks arrive on the first.

Posted by: Jim in San Diego at July 01, 2010 06:03 PM (oIp16)

323 wahhhH! wahhh! Wet me comment!

Posted by: Person of Stupid at July 01, 2010 06:15 PM (sAwen)

324 Okay, I donated to Ace. I'd hate to see him become one of those he hunts. And in honor of the occasion I'm changing my nic from Fritz the Cat to Mr. Al U Fods so as not to get confused with one of Logprof's socks.

Posted by: Mr. Al U Fods at July 01, 2010 06:16 PM (861zQ)

325 Wy cants I comments??!!! Wahhhh!

Posted by: Person of Stupid at July 01, 2010 06:18 PM (sAwen)

326 I aint got much coin but I work at a cement plant with lots of waste. Hope ace don't mind a couple tons of cement on his step.

Posted by: ron dorque at July 01, 2010 06:22 PM (iRRKE)

327 AoSHQ has been very good for my business, therefore I am going to cut Ace in on 5% of the profits on sales of my lace wigs, (only ones bought by morons and moronettes, of course).

Posted by: jbarntt at July 01, 2010 06:22 PM (Qx4db)

328
Ace
I'm dedicating $25 that I just kicked in to that booger eating moron Person of Stupid.
Oh and go fuck yourself Charles.

Posted by: Markos "Zúniga" Moulitsas at July 01, 2010 06:25 PM (roBAy)

329 wet me comments! WETTT MEEE COMMENTS!!!!

Posted by: Person of Stupid at July 01, 2010 06:33 PM (sAwen)

330 You are censoring my important thoughtses!!

Posted by: Person of Stupid at July 01, 2010 06:36 PM (sAwen)

331 email sent

Posted by: General William Tecumseh Sherman at July 01, 2010 06:43 PM (Wh0W+)

332 I done chipped in. Do I get a discount on lace wigs?

Posted by: Kemp at July 01, 2010 06:55 PM (2+9Yx)

333 Wahhhhhhhhhh!!!! Wet me say somefing! Pweese!

Posted by: Person of Stupid at July 01, 2010 06:56 PM (sAwen)

334 If I pay, will my Chakra get happy?

Will Ace tell?

Posted by: Al, the sex poodle at July 01, 2010 06:58 PM (2+9Yx)

335 Please don't donate, he'll just buy peanut butter then want me to, well you know.

Posted by: Toby The Beagle at July 01, 2010 07:52 PM (Vol3D)

336 Hmmmm.

@ Ace

Ok I kicked in some bucks. Don't disappoint me Ace. If it isn't blown on booze, broads or new handcuffs for those hobos ... gawd I don't know what I'd do.

Posted by: memomachine at July 01, 2010 07:57 PM (MwCol)

337

Donated, thank god I was able to sell all those used conservative talking points books on ebay for some nice coin.

Posted by: jaimo at July 01, 2010 08:05 PM (sMQNT)

338
This is a big F'ing deal!

-- Joe "Plug the damn hole" Biden

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at July 02, 2010 05:29 AM (1hM1d)

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