April 20, 2010
— Jack M. Yesterday I brought you the story of everyone's favorite purchaser of cows, Kenyan runner Robert Cheruiyot, the winner of this year's Boston Marathon.
Today it turns out that the legitimacy of Mr. Cheruiyot's ascension to the pinnacle of the running world is under a cloud of suspicion and doubt. Apparently, Mr. Cheruiyot may not have strictly adhered to the requirements of road racing in acheiving his impressive win.
Why does this story seem so familiar??? For the life of me, I can't think of anything that this controversy even remotely resembles. Little help here, peeps.
WBZ-TV in Boston aired the footage Monday night, hours after Cheruiyot won the 26.2-mile race in a record 2 hours, 5 minutes, 52 seconds. It showed the Kenyan running out of the pack and onto a sidewalk before coming back onto the street in front.Organizers say there are no sidelines in road racing, and as long as he wasn't cutting any corners, it's OK.
In 1980, Rosie Ruiz was disqualified for skipping part of the Boston Marathon course after claiming the title.
What is it about you haters out there, always trying to strip an overachieving Kenyan of his life's major, historic accomplishment by citing the most tenuous of legal technicalities? It's like you were all at Selma in 1965 trying to strip the Converse Chuck Taylor All-Stars off of everyone crossing the Edmund Pettus Bridge, for goodness sakes.
You wacky, wacky, marathon win deniers. Imma come up with a catchy name for all of you objecting to this win (does Conversirthers work? how about CheruiNOT-ers?) and see if I don't get me some of that sweet, sweet, newfound respectability that others find so appealing.
Never having had any respectability, I'm not certain what the fuss is all about, after all. But it got Kathleen Parker a Pulitzer, and I understand that comes with cash money. And who couldn't use a little cash right now?
In the meantime, I'm going to go back to trying to figure out what this story reminds me of. It's right on the tip of my tongue. I hate when this happens.
UPDATE: Commenter "sifty" suggests designating all of those who would strip Mr. Cheriuyot of his win as "raceists".
I like that suggestion. Not enough to share the Pulitzer with you, sifty, but enough to give you a front page mention. Thanks!
Posted by: Jack M. at
02:51 PM
| Comments (50)
Post contains 404 words, total size 3 kb.
Posted by: ParisParamus at April 20, 2010 02:53 PM (GgR+e)
Posted by: robotgossip at April 20, 2010 02:56 PM (EiH7n)
Hey, lay off the brother.
If Kenyans need a little surreptitious yayo to get ahead, then that's what they should be able to do.
Posted by: s'moron at April 20, 2010 02:59 PM (UaxA0)
Rosie Ruiz, brokenhearted.
She finished fine but never started.
Posted by: WalrusRex at April 20, 2010 03:02 PM (xxgag)
I was told that races are measured on the tangents so it's ok to cut a tangent as long as you stay on the road. As long as he was running parallel to the road and not cutting corners off, his win and course record should still be legit. I don't see what the controversy is.
Posted by: runningrn at April 20, 2010 03:03 PM (CfmlF)
Posted by: Fish at April 20, 2010 03:04 PM (M5t+h)
Face-off! It's Faceoff, right?
No?
Running Man? District 9?
hmm...
Posted by: fb at April 20, 2010 03:06 PM (G60Nl)
Posted by: Tom "I used to be somebody" Daschle at April 20, 2010 03:07 PM (xxgag)
In 1980, Rosie Ruiz was disqualified for skipping part of the Boston Marathon course after claiming the title.
Isn't this the lady who refused to give up her seat on the bus?
Posted by: Fish at April 20, 2010 03:07 PM (M5t+h)
heh! Reminds me of that Smashmouth song "Hey Now You're A Rockstar": "Yep, what a concept, I could use a little fuel myself, and we could all use a little change..." Especially now!!!!1111
Posted by: runningrn at April 20, 2010 03:07 PM (CfmlF)
Posted by: Jack M. at April 20, 2010 03:08 PM (Ncr1R)
I don't really care. I only posted the story so you morons would help me remember what this is reminiscent of. And to get me some sweet, sweet, Pulitzer votes next year.
Dude, don't sell yourself short! Why stop at Pulizter? Go for the golden ring, you deserves a Peace Prize!
Posted by: runningrn at April 20, 2010 03:10 PM (CfmlF)
Posted by: Fish at April 20, 2010 03:11 PM (M5t+h)
Posted by: runningrn at April 20, 2010 03:13 PM (CfmlF)
Posted by: runningrn at April 20, 2010 03:13 PM (CfmlF)
Posted by: runningrn at April 20, 2010 07:10 PM (CfmlF)
Yes he does, and with all the dignity and pomp of a real ceremony, Jack is herewith awarded a Piece Prize with his choice of Barbara Mikulski, Margaret Cho, or Rosie O'Donnell.
Posted by: Fish at April 20, 2010 03:14 PM (M5t+h)
Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at April 20, 2010 03:16 PM (YVZlY)
Posted by: The Chicken at April 20, 2010 03:18 PM (2+9Yx)
Here are the results from conscious, but incoherent's suggestion:
U.S. Senate race resultsWhat should Charlie do? Run as Independent. 1695 votes - 49% Drop out of the race. 1540 votes - 44% Run as a Republican. 229 votes - 7% Total: 3464 votes
Posted by: Fish at April 20, 2010 03:18 PM (M5t+h)
Posted by: a stupid fucking liberal school teacher at April 20, 2010 03:18 PM (YVZlY)
Governor Patrick will conduct a nationwide search (with the eventually selected person being a local friend of a friend) for a qualified candidate to conduct a formal two year long inquiry into this matter.
For a meager $250,000 salary with accompanying pension and an undisclosed benefits package we can have a highly effective specialist run a thorough investigation. The results of the investigation will never be made public, although a few thousand copies of the report will be made at $500 a piece and stored in the state archives. It's a great value to taxpayers!
Posted by: Blue Falcon in Boston at April 20, 2010 03:19 PM (ijjAe)
Posted by: Fish at April 20, 2010 03:20 PM (M5t+h)
Posted by: The War Between the Undead States at April 20, 2010 03:20 PM (ZzOJA)
Posted by: Sigourney Weaver at April 20, 2010 03:20 PM (CfmlF)
Posted by: Sigourney Weaver at April 20, 2010 03:22 PM (jWuiM)
Posted by: Fish at April 20, 2010 03:24 PM (M5t+h)
Since we're talking about Conversirthers:
Arizona Bill To Require Birth Certificate From Obama For 2012... http://cli.gs/DRR0Z
The Arizona House on Monday voted for a provision that would require President Barack Obama to show his birth certificate if he hopes to be on the state's ballot when he runs for reelection.
Posted by: conscious and ready to show my birth certificate at April 20, 2010 03:28 PM (YVZlY)
Posted by: Hillary at April 20, 2010 03:28 PM (jWuiM)
Posted by: Jack M. at April 20, 2010 03:32 PM (Ncr1R)
The obvious slogan for deniers should be "Cheruiyot's-a-Liar"
Posted by: wooga at April 20, 2010 03:35 PM (2p0e3)
Phoenix Democratic Rep. Kyrsten Sinema said the bill is one of several measures that are making Arizona "the laughing stock of the nation."
They always come out of the woodwork with such important messages as "for the children, laughing stock of the nation, and the American people believe." Arrogance is thy name bitch.
Posted by: Fish at April 20, 2010 03:36 PM (M5t+h)
Posted by: wooga at April 20, 2010 03:38 PM (2p0e3)
Posted by: Fish at April 20, 2010 07:11 PM (M5t+h)
Nah, I flip it over to Fox Business channel when I start to hear Shepy whine.
Posted by: Romeo13 at April 20, 2010 03:39 PM (OlHjR)
Posted by: JimK at April 20, 2010 04:03 PM (iL+hi)
Posted by: Guy who is just barely paying attention, but loves cheesy rock at April 20, 2010 04:17 PM (Ncr1R)
Many feel that by passing on the sidewalk, and leaving the road, he gained an unfair advantage.
thats bs. hopefully nobody ever sees me race. the only way to pass in a nyrr race is to use the sidewalk, curb jump or go outside the cones.
Did somebody say "Motorhead"?
Posted by: Guy who is just barely paying attention, but loves cheesy rock
you're about to cross the liiiine mother fucker.
Posted by: evil libertarian at April 20, 2010 04:54 PM (BGJM2)
Posted by: Hillary at April 20, 2010 07:28 PM (jWuiM)
I see what you did here....you clever scamp!
Posted by: torabora at April 20, 2010 05:43 PM (lAHKU)
Posted by: Fish at April 20, 2010 07:20 PM (M5t+h)
Don't tell me Bwaney's gone all cannibal on us and is frying up nutsacks now! !!!!!1111!!!!!Eleventy!!!!!!
Posted by: torabora at April 20, 2010 05:46 PM (lAHKU)
"All you raceists make me laugh. I am amused at you guys."
Posted by: Mats at April 21, 2010 04:59 AM (VactE)
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Conversirthers
*snort*
Posted by: katya at April 20, 2010 02:53 PM (H36zN)