Ace of Spades HQ

July 01, 2010

King Moron Needs A Flea Dip And A New Gold Cap
— LauraW

Bump [Gabe]: So, like Lauraw said, Ace seems a little down what with the vaccinations and other issues that come from getting bit by a free-range, organic, and antibiotic-free homosapien. And I was considering some things that might cheer him up. Like a ten-part series of 2,000-word posts on the Law of the Sea Treaty.

Or you could . . . well, you heard the lady. Do you get what I'm sayin'?

Semi-Annual Subscription Drive

Our host, in better times

Good Afternoon Morons, nitwits, pinheads, dipshits, bitter partisan hacks, racist teabagging scum, douchebags, scuzzbuckets, puppet abusers and assorted uncategorized mental deficients.
I love each and every one of your bumpy little noggins.

Yes, it's that time again. We're passing the cup.

Just got an email from Ace, who is day-stalking a hobo under an overpass somewhere. He seems down.

The guy never complains about anything, but today he's bitching that he's snapped his favorite fillet knife, he's all out of wire ties, and his stash of freeze-dried hobo livers is running low.

To make matters worse, in a rare moment when he didn't have the upper hand, he suffered a nasty bite that needs attention just as soon as the tell-tale dental impression fades a bit. I asked him where he got the bite and he just said 'in the crawlspace.'

Ace never asks us to post a money bleg for him. We just do it because our own safety depends on him getting his medications in a timely manner.

Please click the paypal button (upper left sidebar) and toss the fuzzy feller a little coin if you could.

Posted by: LauraW at 11:23 AM | Comments (107)
Post contains 291 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Isn't this something that Obama's stash should be taking care of?

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at July 01, 2010 08:35 AM (9hSKh)

2 To make matters worse, in a rare moment when he didn't have the upper hand, he suffered a nasty bite that needs attention just as soon as the tell-tale dental impression fades a bit. I asked him where he got the bite and he just said 'in the crawlspace.'

He needs to put a little ice on that.

Posted by: Bill Clinton at July 01, 2010 08:36 AM (9hSKh)

3 What does my chakra get out of this transaction?

Posted by: Al Gore at July 01, 2010 08:37 AM (IhQuA)

4 (upper right sidebar)

Perhaps you have upper right confused with mid left.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at July 01, 2010 08:37 AM (0q2P7)

5 PayPal won't let me send Hobo Parts.

Posted by: MrScribbler at July 01, 2010 08:38 AM (Ulu3i)

6 Speaking of - why isn't there any cool SWAG slathered all over with the AOSHQ logo I can buy at ridiculous prices?

Posted by: alexthedude at July 01, 2010 08:38 AM (8DajW)

Thank you Laura. I think perhaps, you should do a PBS style telethon for Ace. I for one, would be happy to man a red phone in red stillettos for our favorite Ewok.

Posted by: runningrn at July 01, 2010 08:38 AM (CfmlF)

What happened to our naked moronette calendar idea?

Just make sure it's laminated or otherwise stain resistant.

Posted by: Jim in San Diego at July 01, 2010 08:40 AM (oIp16)

9 >>Morons, nitwits, pinheads, dipshits, bitter partisan hacks, racist teabagging scum, douchebags, scuzzbuckets, puppet abusers and and assorted uncategorized mental deficients. You did not mention rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists. I feel excluded and neglected.

Posted by: Tushar at July 01, 2010 08:41 AM (PGSXB)

Can't imagine this collection of retards could not come up with some AoS HQ tee shirt and coffee mug designs that would not sell in the tens at highly inflated prices.

Here is the business plan.

1. Design Tee Shirts

2. ???????

3. Profit

Posted by: AndrewsDad at July 01, 2010 08:41 AM (C2//T)

Aw, he's in need of a flea dip.

It's an Obama economy. We're all hosed. At least the moronettes have something else to offer (Ex. A: rrn's stilletto's).

Men--you're screwed.

Anyway, I'll hit it. The tip jar I mean.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at July 01, 2010 08:42 AM (pLTLS)

12 What do you mean "puppet abusers"? It's not abuse, they like the sex.

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at July 01, 2010 08:45 AM (HaYO4)

(upper right sidebar)

bleg fail.

Posted by: Ship O Fail at July 01, 2010 08:46 AM (WmZrs)

14 Is that upper right when viewed from your side of the monitor?

Posted by: maxx at July 01, 2010 08:47 AM (9/DwY)

15 13

(upper right sidebar)

bleg fail.

Posted by: Ship O Fail at July 01, 2010 12:46 PM (WmZrs)

No, she's correct. She's on the other side of the computer screen, and so to her, that is the right side.

Posted by: Jim in San Diego at July 01, 2010 08:47 AM (oIp16)

16 How about some AoSHQ plastic sippy cups (for the ValuRite).

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 01, 2010 08:48 AM (UOM48)

17 Tomorrow is pay day. Theoretically. I mean, for those of you not enjoying funemployment. For those of you on government sponsored holidays, payday is next Wednesday... so lets kick Ace a few bones before we stock up on valu-rite and, in some cases, MalÃ¶rt.

Posted by: EM August at July 01, 2010 08:49 AM (zeBNm)

18
assorted uncategorized mental deficients.

You rang...

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at July 01, 2010 08:49 AM (0fzsA)

No, she's correct. She's on the other side of the computer screen, and so to her, that is the right side.

dude, you totally warped my grey matter with that. Please excuse me while I bust out of my chakras.

Posted by: Ship O Fail at July 01, 2010 08:50 AM (WmZrs)

20 What about us ratfuckers!?

Posted by: Hedgehog at July 01, 2010 08:50 AM (oQIfB)

I think perhaps, you should do a PBS style telethon for Ace.

Please God, just don't include a special telethon edition of ArtZine and an obscure documentary on local jazz piccoloists in the 1940's.

Posted by: ErikW at July 01, 2010 08:50 AM (T5IBM)

Done.

I hope it's enough for at least a BJ from a tranny hooker.

Posted by: Bubble Ba'athist at July 01, 2010 08:51 AM (AnTyA)

23 @ErikW - You got a problem with tote bags? You sound like someone who has a problem with PBS branded tote bags.

Posted by: EM August at July 01, 2010 08:52 AM (zeBNm)

Thanks for the Victorian ass Monty.

That chick would be pretty hot if she didn't have teh zombie eyes.

Posted by: eleven at July 01, 2010 08:53 AM (7DB+a)

Monty, that's not LauraW, you lied to us when you said you had nekkid pics didn't you?

LauraW, you forgot hosefuckers up there too.

Posted by: The Great Satan's Ghost at July 01, 2010 08:53 AM (qLHmx)

26 Please God, just don't include a special telethon edition of ArtZine and an obscure documentary on local jazz piccoloists in the 1940's. Have you no sense of the AoS cultural scene? We're all about Paul Anka, baby! Anka: The Man and His Fuckin' Shirts and Slicing Like a Hammer: The Paul Anka Triumph will air back-to-back. The comedy Where's Joe? will air later in the evening. These films were made with the approval of Vinnie Falcone.

Posted by: Monty at July 01, 2010 08:53 AM (4Pleu)

27 Do you accept schekels from a member of the Jewish Cabal?

Posted by: mpfs at July 01, 2010 08:53 AM (xBsrw)

28 WTF ace? I sent in a donation and got a coupon back for a man purse.

Posted by: robtr at July 01, 2010 08:54 AM (fwSHf)

Ace in thirty wtenty years:

http://tinyurl.com/2aej98e

Posted by: JohnW at July 01, 2010 08:54 AM (yvbP3)

30 Tea bagging event on the 5th in Savannah. Forsyth Park, 10:00 a.m. for any low country morons/ettes. Bring your bug spray. The park is heavily infested with libtard douchebags.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 01, 2010 08:56 AM (UOM48)

ooopsie.

*writes 'LEFT' on left hand*

Posted by: lauraw at July 01, 2010 08:56 AM (qUlm/)

Posted by: Monty at July 01, 2010 12:53 PM (4Pleu)

Okay, that's worth at least a fin.

Posted by: ErikW at July 01, 2010 08:57 AM (T5IBM)

33 Hmmmm? 1. New jock strap. 2. Contribution to Ace. I'm weighing my options.

Posted by: Fresh Air at July 01, 2010 08:58 AM (WhWq/)

34 I have been advised that my lissome French beauty is inappropriate for a fundraising post, so I shall put the picture back into my vast collection and perhaps use it to grace a future thread.

Posted by: Monty at July 01, 2010 08:59 AM (4Pleu)

35 The moronettes started squabbling over which month each one could have on the ONT.

Hahaha, yes! Way to pick the proper battles ladies! _{Give me March damn it!}

Posted by: laceyunderalls at July 01, 2010 09:00 AM (pLTLS)

36 Someone tell Ace how to setup his PayPal so we can do a recurring amount.

Posted by: Jean at July 01, 2010 09:01 AM (2w7HE)

Ace in thirty wtenty years:

Ace at Walmart yesterday

Don't worry..I didn't expose his face

Posted by: Bubble Ba'athist at July 01, 2010 09:01 AM (AnTyA)

LauraW,

If you extend your left hand, palm away from you fingers pointing up and then extended the thumb horizontally, you thumb and pointing finger, the one between the thumb and the one you use to flip people off, make an "L", which stand for "left".

Posted by: AndrewsDad at July 01, 2010 09:01 AM (C2//T)

40 Someone tell Ace how to setup his PayPal so we can do a recurring amount

Hey, Ace..someone named Jean says you should set up your PayPal so you can do a recurring amount

Posted by: Bubble Ba'athist at July 01, 2010 09:04 AM (AnTyA)

40 Hmmmmm.

That's LauraW?

O.o

Posted by: memomachine at July 01, 2010 09:09 AM (MwCol)

41 The thought of some of the morons **cough,cough...Blazer**committing unspeakable acts while looking at my picture is....there are no words to express my horror.

Posted by: mpfs at July 01, 2010 09:10 AM (xBsrw)

"What happened to our naked moronette calendar idea?"

Why not a moron calendar? But, I only want pictures of moustaches and ass.

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at July 01, 2010 09:13 AM (HaYO4)

43 Laura, you should keep this post on top.

Posted by: rdbrewer at July 01, 2010 09:15 AM (4sj7x)

44 Done and done, but I love the CafePress idea.

"Ace of Spades HQ: Slices like a f*({!#' hammer"

Posted by: AmishDude at July 01, 2010 09:15 AM (T0NGe)

Why not a moron calendar? But, I only want pictures of moustaches and ass.

I believe that would make a moronette calendar redundant.

Posted by: mark c at July 01, 2010 09:16 AM (SBIko)

46 The thought of some of the morons **cough,cough...Blazer**committing unspeakable acts while looking at my picture is....there are no words to express my horror.

Posted by: mpfs at July 01, 2010 01:10 PM (xBsrw)

Why would that be? Shouldn't you be flattered? So ungenerous.

Posted by: Reactionary at July 01, 2010 09:19 AM (xUM1Q)

47 ugh, so embarrassing, but that you Laura, and thank you, dear readers.

Posted by: ace at July 01, 2010 09:22 AM (SsvUp)

48 Hmm, the right side of the screen. Is that up by the any key?

Posted by: Jay in Ames at July 01, 2010 09:32 AM (UEEex)

49 Seriously, there's enough talent around here to design some cool t shirts that I know morons would buy (and even non-morons)

1. Have a contest. In two parts. First part: design and logo for AOS. Second part: Pithy slogan for t-shirt (could be multiple winners). Put the crap out on CafePress in the form of shirts, mugs, bumper stickers, etc.

2. ?

3. Profit!

Posted by: mpur in Texas (kicking Mexico's ass since 1836) at July 01, 2010 09:36 AM (b8VPN)

50 I am NOT a pinhead! (And what's this about Victorian ass?)

Posted by: joncelli at July 01, 2010 09:40 AM (RD7QR)

51 Let's see, Ace with a bunch of scrilla right before a long holiday weekend.

You do know what will happen.
1. Ace buys a pantload of Val-U-Rite.
2. Ace goes missing from the blog for days. (Normal yes, but still, he could look like he even cares.)
3. Truck delivers five drums of Astroglide^Â®
4. Midget Thai ladyboys show up at Ace's
5. Ace has "sex".
6. Ace puts this video on continuous loop

Next thing we know, Ace cleans himself up and becomes a Concerned, Christian, Conservative. Then what do we do? We are the one's that suffer. No thank you, there is no way I'm going back to LGF.

BTW, I still await my tote bags from the last 2 telethons, but I'm betting PGIS and WTR have stolen them to store their evil bikinis in.

Posted by: MrCaniac at July 01, 2010 09:46 AM (Vol3D)

52 Cookie hand or milk hand?

Posted by: Have Blue at July 01, 2010 09:46 AM (mV+es)

Done.

Boy, that was easy!

Posted by: speedster1 at July 01, 2010 09:46 AM (v40Bj)

but I'm betting PGIS and WTR have stolen them to store their evil bikinis in.

Actually, we're using them to store the souls of men foolish enough to cross us...

I chipped in for Ace's epic weekend bender. Looking forward to reading the police reports.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at July 01, 2010 09:50 AM (RZ8pf)

Done...

I don't feel so dirty anymore. Hey, wait a second it''s the 4th weekend. Where's the Party?!!

Posted by: Indian Outlaw at July 01, 2010 09:55 AM (7NcLZ)

Thanks guys!

And Awww, Ace. Don't be embarrassed. Sheesh. I didn't tell anybody where that hobo-bite really is.

Posted by: lauraw at July 01, 2010 09:55 AM (qUlm/)

You understand that for most of us married morons, the soul has alread been stolen.

Once a year, on our anniversary, Mrs. Mallamutt lets me go to the safety deposit box she keeps it in and lets me look at. I can't touch it, of course, but I can look at it till she slams the box shut again and starts to laugh.

Sigh.....

Posted by: Mallamutt

She lets you look at it? MrsCaniac laughs when I ask her to look at it. She did show me a picture of it a couple of years ago though.

Posted by: MrCaniac at July 01, 2010 09:55 AM (Vol3D)

58 You understand that for most of us married morons, the soul has alread been stolen.

You understand that when you marry, you willingly hand over your soul, right? She doesn't have to steal it.

Read the fine print.

Posted by: mpur in Texas (kicking Mexico's ass since 1836) at July 01, 2010 09:55 AM (b8VPN)

you also forgot to mention.....

trick ass mobs, bitch ass mobs, punk bitches, skips, skaps, skanks, and scallywags, hoes, heffers, heehaws, and hula hoops.

Posted by: conservative in nAZi asking the populace for their papers at July 01, 2010 09:56 AM (SebJz)

I shat in the cup at the office.

I do pledge my everlasting loyalty...and may your first child, be a hirsute child.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at July 01, 2010 09:56 AM (8lCJT)

61 Wait a second, that money was my Independence Day bail money!! Damn, now I'm going to miss the SWAT team hauling Mom and grandma off to jail.

Posted by: MrCaniac at July 01, 2010 09:58 AM (Vol3D)

62 The thought of some of the morons **cough,cough...Blazer**committing unspeakable acts while looking at my picture is..

Don't forget me.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at July 01, 2010 09:59 AM (5aa4z)

63 45 The thought of some of the morons **cough,cough...Blazer**committing unspeakable acts while looking at my picture is....there are no words to express my horror. Posted by: mpfs

Wait, a chick that looks like Chris Christie?

Posted by: MrCaniac at July 01, 2010 10:12 AM (Vol3D)

64 Time to bump the post.

Posted by: rdbrewer at July 01, 2010 10:14 AM (4sj7x)

"I have been advised that my lissome French beauty is inappropriate for a fundraising post. . ."

On a blog that regularly assaults sanity with pix of Helen Thomas and Nancy Pelosi ? Must've been some French poodle there, Monty.

AOS - come for the political rant, stay for the Victorian ass. That's my tagline for the shirts.

Tipjar, ho!

Posted by: Christopher at July 01, 2010 10:15 AM (zF6Iw)

66 I'd absolutely buy T-shirts with an Ace logo. Preferably several different styles and colrs (I love black Ts), long sleeves, too, and some that reference Morons, also....at the very least I'd buy an X-tra large one to sleep in, so I could say I was sleepin' with Ace and the Morons!

Posted by: MissTammy at July 01, 2010 10:16 AM (G0eZh)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Ace, I know you're just dyin to get back into the tshirt business.

Cmon, how bad could it be?

How. Bad?

Posted by: Dave in Texas at July 01, 2010 10:18 AM (WvXvd)

68 Even though I am a broke-ass ho, you make me laugh every day, Ace! You are worth it.

Posted by: Robin at July 01, 2010 10:19 AM (6uXZa)

69 Look, if Ace can afford a freeze dryer for his hobo livers then he really doesn't need money from us. He should hock it on Ebay and smoke, can or jerkyfy his hobo livers like the rest of us.

Or maybe, just maybe he needs to finally stop slumming and move up to golf caddies. He can leave the hobos for those of us who can't afford to shop at the Sharper Image.

Feh....

Posted by: The Brickmuppet at July 01, 2010 10:42 AM (EJaOX)

70 ^{Just got an email from Ace, who is day-stalking a hobo under an overpass
somewhere. He seems down.}

$100 for the text of that e-mail and the complete Journolist archive.

Posted by: Valiant at July 01, 2010 10:43 AM (UKSRV)

But this just happens to coincide with Victoria's Secret semi-annual sale...

What to do...

Posted by: Abby Adams at July 01, 2010 10:50 AM (pLTLS)

72 You mean that you can use PayPal money for something other than buying stuff on ebay??? Holy shit!!!! I guess I can stop the delivery trucks from lining up at the house now....I learn lots of really good shit on this blog!!

Posted by: rls at July 01, 2010 10:50 AM (sIEIZ)

73 Send me a PO box and I'll send you some cash. That's the dealio. No PayPal ever

Posted by: dr kill at July 01, 2010 10:53 AM (w9bVp)

74 Friendly suggestion....

Bump this to the top for the rest of the day.

We *want* to give. We* have the attention span of fruit flies and will forget w/a new post.

* "We" here of course means "I".

Posted by: laceyunderalls at July 01, 2010 10:58 AM (pLTLS)

75 <blockquote cite>

Here is the business plan.

1. Design Tee Shirts

2. ???????

3. Profit</blockquote cite>

You owe me new monitor, motherfucker!!!!! ROFLMAO

Posted by: I'm Dolemite, bitch at July 01, 2010 10:58 AM (HPhdA)

76 itter partisan hacks, racist teabagging scum, douchebags, scuzzbuckets, puppet abusers and assorted uncategorized mental deficients

That's really chilling ... it's like she can see me right through the computer ...

And yeah, I'll hit the tip jar. Ace completely deserves it for providing a forum where people can get together on-line when they're supposed to be working ....

Posted by: Blacksheep at July 01, 2010 11:02 AM (8/DeP)

77 Yo! Where'd the porn go?!

Worst Blog Ever!!

Posted by: Terry at July 01, 2010 11:17 AM (ddL+W)

78 So I gave Ace $20 last night. He came to my hotel room and offered me a massage; but I politely declined as I didn't want some fat hairy ewok rubbing my privates. I have Laurie David for that. He became very upset; and rubbed his second chakra vigorously as he chased me around the room. I tried to run, but I couldn't. That hairy ewok is a fast little bastard. I fell and gave into a forced massage. I felt "it" move during the whole ordeal. I'm not sure what that means. But I've booked him for tomorrow.

Posted by: Al Gore at July 01, 2010 11:27 AM (IhQuA)

79
Morons, nitwits, pinheads, dipshits, bitter partisan hacks, racist teabagging scum, douchebags, scuzzbuckets, puppet abusers and assorted uncategorized mental deficients.

YOU FORGOT COUSIN HUMPERS! Dammit, this place is going to shirt.

Posted by: Dang Straights at July 01, 2010 11:28 AM (fx8sm)

80 getting bit by a free-range, organic, and antibiotic-free homosapien

HoboSapiens.....they really are another species.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 01, 2010 11:31 AM (P9+0W)

81 I threw him some coin.I know what it's like to live under an overpass.Sleeping on spent needles and empty bottles of Boones Farm ripple.Besides,I like it here and all you rons and ettes are mighty entertaining.Keeps my mind off of how O'shithead is screwing this country into the ground.The banter here is priceless and informative.

Posted by: ziptie at July 01, 2010 11:41 AM (UdYT0)

82 Might as well send some. The way the dollar is getting hammered today it'll be worthless by the time it gets there.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at July 01, 2010 11:43 AM (5aa4z)

83 Hi Tushar!

Posted by: baldilocks at July 01, 2010 11:43 AM (pWXnd)

84 Can't Ace get some of that sweet, sweet Stimulus Money?

Posted by: EC at July 01, 2010 11:43 AM (mAhn3)

85 To make matters worse, in a rare moment when he didn't have the upper hand, he suffered a nasty bite that needs attention just as soon as the tell-tale dental impression fades a bit. I asked him where he got the bite and he just said 'in the crawlspace.'

Woohoo! Ace had *another* date!

and his stash of freeze-dried hobo livers is running low.

Okay, now *this* bothers me. I thought they had to be fresh? I wouldn't still live so close to the trainyard AND go out almost *every* darned night if I'd known we could *stockpile* the darned things!

Gonna be a big weekend.

Posted by: Merovign, Strong On His Mountain at July 01, 2010 11:44 AM (bxiXv)

86 I, for one, would take one for the team and pose in the Moronettes of AoSHQ calendar. Or barring that, join runningrn manning the phones in red stilletos and a bikini.

Posted by: wherestherum at July 01, 2010 11:45 AM (pyW1N)

87
if the pimp Ewok ever started wearing pants.

Where is this crazy talk coming from?

join runningrn manning the phones in red stilletos and a bikini.

AAAAaaaand, I'm spent.

Posted by: Dang Straights at July 01, 2010 11:46 AM (fx8sm)

88 done.

Posted by: toby928 at July 01, 2010 11:47 AM (4WbTI)

89 94 I, for one, would take one for the team and pose in the Moronettes of AoSHQ calendar. Or barring that, join runningrn manning the phones in red stilletos and a bikini. Posted by: wherestherum at July 01, 2010 03:45 PM (pyW1N) Gonna have to find a bunk here at work.

Posted by: joncelli at July 01, 2010 11:49 AM (RD7QR)

90 No, she's correct. She's on the other side of the computer screen, and so to her, that is the right side.

Thanks for explaining that so I didn't have ask the IT guy

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at July 01, 2010 11:52 AM (IqfKc)

91 Gonna have to find a bunk here at work.
Posted by: joncelli

They are probably all full.

Posted by: MrCaniac at July 01, 2010 11:53 AM (Vol3D)

92 Just threw some fiat value paper your way Ace.

Get that bite looked at while you still can.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at July 01, 2010 11:56 AM (9hSKh)

93 I'm working on it. I was going to give you all the cash I got back from returning the 4 garbage bags full of empties I had but their worthless. There's no deposit of Val-u-rite. Who knew? Maybe I can make mobiles out of them and sell them or something. I've been saving those for a whole month too damn it.

Posted by: Rocks at July 01, 2010 11:59 AM (Q1lie)

94 Holy shit, I just found a video of Ace as a young boy!

Posted by: MrCaniac at July 01, 2010 12:00 PM (Vol3D)

OK, I relented--$20.12 to commemorate our return to power 2 years anon.

For all of you gummint employees and fellow military, have a safe and sound (4-day) weekend. For all of you still seeking work, chins up and I'll keep you in my prayers--we're in a proverbial tempest right now but these evil times will pass.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at July 01, 2010 12:01 PM (3iMgs)

96 OK. I admit it. I can't find the Victorian ass.

Which is odd because you would think it would be the first thing I'd find.

Somebody put me some f'in knowledge?

Posted by: Merovign, Strong On His Mountain at July 01, 2010 12:14 PM (bxiXv)

97 ¹⁰³

^{You understand that when you marry, you willingly hand over your soul, right? She doesn't have to steal it.

Read the fine print.}

I married a lawyer. The fine print was 20 pages long. And I was hungover from the Bacherlor party the night before. 18 years later you tell me this........

Posted by: Mallamutt

Geez, mine whispered in my ear what she was wearing under her dress. Either I said "I Do" and have my little "problem" taken care of, or I say "I Don't" and not get my problem taken care of. My soul was worth it.

Posted by: MrCaniac at July 01, 2010 12:19 PM (Vol3D)

98 Hit the tip jar a little while ago. Thanks Ace, and thanks to your co-bloggers. The forum is much appreciated.

Posted by: Soap MacTavish at July 01, 2010 12:45 PM (554T5)

99 Time to bump the post again.

Posted by: rdbrewer at July 01, 2010 01:43 PM (4sj7x)

100

Here is the business plan.

1. Design Tee Shirts

2. ???????

3. Profit

Posted by: AndrewsDad at July 01, 2010 12:41 PM (C2//T)

It works for Sweasel, doesn't it?

Posted by: Bill H at July 01, 2010 01:53 PM (q8CmE)

101 Just emptied my pockets, Ace. And by emptied, I mean "took the biggest bills, set them aside; took the smaller bills, set them aside; took the keys and phone, set them aside; took the lint, bartered with a Chinese seamstress for it's current wholesale value, and demanded 25% markup, and concluded an exchange." That's what you're getting. Mind you, it's was very fine lint.

I hope it's enough to feed the gerbils running your server with the extra financing a shot of middle-shelf Valu-Rite.

Thanks for your and the team's work. And by work, I mean... I mean... Hell, what do I mean?

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at July 01, 2010 02:00 PM (swuwV)

102 He should hock it on Ebay and smoke, can or jerkyfy his hobo livers like the rest of us.

Hmmm. Jerkyfied hobo livers? How would one jerkyfy them? With a jerkyfier? I have a desperate need to know, as it is hurricane season here on the East coast and my power tends to go out for days at a time..

Posted by: antisocialist at July 01, 2010 02:12 PM (Rwudm)

103

Ã”Ã‡ÃŠ ÃÃ‘ÃÃ”Ã‰

Ã”Ã‡ÃŠ Ã“ÃšÃ¦ÃÃ Ã£Ã¤ÃŠÃÃ¬ ÃÃ¡Ã‡ Ã‡Ã¡ÃšÃ‡Ãˆ ÃˆÃ¤Ã‡ÃŠ ÃŠÃ¦ÃˆÃÃŸÃ‡ÃŠ ÃÃ¡Ã‡ Ã•Ã¦Ã‘ Ã£Ã‡Ã“Ã¤ÃŒÃ‘

Posted by: m7pq at July 01, 2010 02:26 PM (o/LQe)

104 Done!

Well worth every cent. All TEN OF'EM, bitches! Top that, if you can.

Posted by: GulfCoastTider at July 01, 2010 04:37 PM (x2J54)

105 Just tossed in a couple of coins. Wish I could afford more, but here in California we are boned, boned, as Monty will tell you!

Posted by: Steph at July 01, 2010 05:48 PM (KQrVb)

106 Teh irony heer is that I donated twice, had the banhammer swung once, and it kept me from posting for six months...uh,,,

Posted by: doom_n_gloom at July 01, 2010 07:15 PM (kUPJR)

107 I know Paypal reports all transactions over $10.000 to the Stasi, and I also know that my Echelon file is already overflowing with red flags. I just don't have time for rendition this summer. Is there a snailmail location for anonymous cash donations?

Click my name and email me privately. Don't post the location of the AceCave here where the digital purpleshirts might see it, dummy.

Posted by: Ivana Lappovna at July 02, 2010 03:46 AM (a5ljo)

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