1 How 'bout thirty minutes of that hockey-playing faggit getting his nads kicked if he shoots in my neighborhood?

2 Did he ever get a GED?

3 Not that it really matters but am I the only one who thinks there's a better than even chance that we are going to be reminded of the brief Levi and Bristol, um, reunion in a few months?

Say 9 months for example.

4
I can't wait to see Joe Biden's cokehead daughter guest star.

And maybe John Kerry's drunk-driving daughter, too.

5 We could always hire him on to work on the next Jackass project.  He could do all the stunts even *I* balk at doing.

6

Next stop: Offering blow-jays at highway rest stops.

Hey, if you don't want to work, that's where you're going to end up.

I think we finally have a hard-earned explanation for Ace's recent posting rampage.

7 Say 9 months for example.

Posted by: DrewM. at August 09, 2010 03:03 PM (X/Lqh)

Oh god, don't even think it.

8 America is truly still the land of opportunity if a useless fucknugget like this can get a payday for literally accomplishing nothing in his life.

9
The Networks of  DNC are always interested in quality entertainment that leads down the path to Palin family bashing.  Feel the stupid.

10 4
I can't wait to see Joe Biden's cokehead daughter guest star.

And maybe John Kerry's drunk-driving daughter, too.

Posted by: fiscal ferret, social fruit bat at August 09, 2010 03:04 PM (uFokq)

Don't forget about Algore's drunk driving son

11 Grab the beagles. This is must see TV!

12 Next stop: Offering blow-jays at highway rest stops.
Hey, if you don't want to work, that's where you're going to end up.

Well that's if you're a guy or a really ugly woman.

13
How many young girls has this uncontrolled sex-starved grunt gotten pregnant?

On NBC this fall:  Fresh new programming!
Ding dong, Levi is here to impregnate your daughter and then lie about your family. 

14 YAWN

I cannot fathom why anyone would watch.

15 His rose has long since wilted ....

16 Palin posts are a dog whistle for summoning trolls.

17 Not wanting a real job worked for me. Let your freak flag fly high, Levi!

18 I guess now the name 'The Idiot Box' is more apt than ever.

19 Do they still do (semi) Celebrity Boxing? Like Bonaduce vs. any Brady? I'd love to see someone, anyone, tear this chump a new asshole for ten grand on national tv. How about that kid who helped capture Saddam and then couldn't find a job? He could probably whup up on Levi a bit.

20
Up next on saved by the bell:  Levi learnz about the condom. 

21

If only Ashley Biden could get her own reality show.

Of course that would be boring after awhile--watching her go in and out of bathrooms wiping her nose.

 

22 I can't wait to see Joe Biden's cokehead daughter guest star.

And maybe John Kerry's drunk-driving daughter, too.

Posted by: fiscal ferret, social fruit bat at August 09, 2010 03:04 PM (uFokq)

I want in!

23

Bammy's in campaign mode.

Useful idiots, every one.

24 *SNIFF*

25 Levi, call-us.  We've got a commentary spot for you.  Can you be funnier than Tonya Harding?

26 So the gay pron thing didn't pan out?

27 Who is going to watch? Moreover, who will sponsor it and pay for it with ads? Advertisers will not book a show that only has one watcher, Andy Sullivan. 

28 The break room at MSNBC will be stocked with extra k-y and paper towels for the premier.

29
David Letterman, Kathy Griffin and Levi Johnston star in:

I had sex in the special room without a condom, and now I'm popular with the Colbert crowd.

30 I hope it's a trick reality show. Where they give him GHB and he wakes up on a horse farm.

31 This Just In: A grain of sand in Uzbekistan moved 4 feet yesterday.

32 O/T (and if ever there was a thread deserving of a switch in topic, this is it): Hitlery Clinton just offered a stinging rebuke to the Taliban for murdering the 10 aid workers in Afghanistan. The Fucks News reporter just said she "expressed outrage."

And then Richard Holbrooke gets up and gives the obligatory "not all Muslims..." speech.

I suppose it's too much to ask the Mohammedan Mouthpiece's regime to take any action on behalf of decent people who are trying to do good. Might accidentally hit a campaign contributor or former schoolmate from the madrasa....

At some point, bombs will have to fall. Otherwise, might just as well move the government into the Cordoba Mosque.

33 This Levi guy is becoming famous for being famous and it's not at all hawt. Oh, and for becoming famous for being an a-hole.

34

All this time I've been hoping he'd make a short-yet-memorable appearance on Ice Road Truckers, as the unfortunate AKDoT employee who has to crawl up the mountainsides, looking for potential avalanches-in-the-making.

Here ya go, Levi.  Take this here pointy stick, and start hiking uphill right about here.  Make sure you poke it around in the snow a lot.  That's real important, see?  Off ya go now...

...

...is he out of earshot yet?  Great.  Load up a round in the Howitzer.

35 The only thing he has to offer to these several "interested" networks is made up salacious details about the mother of his child, and her family.  Someone will buy it, and we'll see the first episodes being televised, (cabelized?), by November.   After that, a quiet cancellation, and Levi can go back to blowing strangers for happy meal money.

36 I'm dismayed that, however briefly, this scum will out-earn me.  We have to remember that they never promised us life would be fair.

37 22 I can't wait to see Joe Biden's cokehead daughter guest star.

And maybe John Kerry's drunk-driving daughter, too.

Posted by: fiscal ferret, social fruit bat at August 09, 2010 03:04 PM (uFokq)

I want in!

Posted by: Roger Clinton at August 09, 2010 03:11 PM (BP6Z1)

Me too!

38

Stay tuned folks, as we go live while Levi performs an ambush interview of Todd Palin...

What, we have to cut to commercial?? Todd broke his what???

39 Don't forget about Algore's drunk driving son

But it was over 100 mph in a Prius!  Let's give him a little credit.

40 #39:

Exactly. 

41 I'm shocked, shocked I tell you.
Flava of Levi's on MTV. New York hardest hit.

42 Remember when our beloved palin steele declared that there was nothing, nothing at all about 0bama that was worthy of mockery or satire?

Well, this is the flip-side of that sentiment: People (I'm being generous) who think that also do not see anything unseemly, repugnant or foolish about enabling the stupidity and irresponsibility of the likes of Levi.It also does not occur to them that it will be a bust.

43 Yet another Cousin Floyd. I know some layabouts who are now in their 40's, and still live with Mom and Dad and have never held an actual paying job in their entire lives. (Yet are still somehow able to afford beer and dope -- it's a mystery.) I don't know why parents tolerate it, and I don't know how Junior can stand it. Being a social parasite can't be all that fulfilling. Men used to be the primary part of this demographic, but now I'm seeing many young women having children early but essentially handing the kids off to the grandparents to raise while they party on. It's bad enough to see this kind of thing when the girl is 17 or 18, but I've seen this happen when the women are in their 30's, for Christ's sake. Deadbeats. I hate 'em. Goddam do-nothing goldbricking layabout asshole pinko fucksticks.

44

He's had a real job!  He's been filling in off-and-on for Maddow since April!

What do you mean, if a tree falls in the woods...?

45

Goddam.  This kid needs an ass whipping like no one else. 

Put him in a room with me and a Lousiville Slugger for five minutes.  Jeebus.

46 America is truly still the land of opportunity if a useless fucknugget like this can get a payday for literally accomplishing nothing in his life. Posted by: nickless at August 09, 2010 03:05 PM .............................................................................. You are describing Preznit Urkel here.

47

Next stop: Offering blow-jays at highway rest stops.

Hey, if you don't want to work, that's where you're going to end up.

There's always blogging.

48 "several networks are interested"

High quality programming... Catch the Fevah!

When, oh when, are they going to have a proctology exam channel? You know, something just slightly less pathetic?

49
What the hell is Levi going to do?  The only thing he's good at is bashing the Palins.

Oh wait - that's considered fun for libtards.

50

Deadbeats. I hate 'em. Goddam do-nothing goldbricking layabout asshole pinko fucksticks.

Met my brother-in-law, have you? 60 years old and still living at home. He's special, you see, and the world never appreciated his genius. World's greatest authority on everything! Just ask him!

51 Finally, a show that even Keith Olbermann can beat in the ratings!

/Until they show the segments were Todd Palin is stalking Levi with a bat and body-bag in hand.

52 remember for drug addled guests he need look no further than his own mother....

53

OT:

Gov. Perry of Texas welcome Obama, attempts to give him letter expressing state's problems with immigration, Obama refuses to take it. 

on houston chronicle's website

54 This kid wouldn't know "reality" if it walked up and kicked him in the balls.  But he does have a noteworthy resume:

I got a governor's daughter pregnant.
Other accomplishments:  NONE

55 The show will be like Cops, except from the perp's perspective.

56 When 52% of the country doesn't work, they aren't called "Deadbeats", they are called "the Majority". 

57 Come on guys!

I'm funny, dammit!

58
--or--
/They could have all the fathers of all the girls that Levi has impregnated come after him with a bat and a body bag.  Now that I would watch.

59

"Put him in a room with me and a Lousiville Slugger for five minutes."

Use of our product in a manner inconsistent with the intended purpose renders all warranties, expressed or otherwise, voided in full.

In other words:  You can only hit balls.

60

OT:

Gov. Perry of Texas welcome Obama, attempts to give him letter expressing state's problems with immigration, Obama refuses to take it. 

on houston chronicle's website

Posted by: that's just ignorant! at August 09, 2010 03:28 PM (9B8os)

--Did it have the (unexpectedly) hilarious photo of 0bama in a black cowboy hat accompanying it?

61 Bammy's heart just isn't it to it anymore. Sure, he shamelessly pandered to useful college age idiots, but he's mailing it in.

62 59 Come on guys!

I'm funny, dammit!

The antonym of "funny" is Kathy Griffin.

The synonym of "scary" is Kathy Griffin.

/Word lesson of the day.

63 Posted by: that's just ignorant! at August 09, 2010 03:28 PM

Forget about all that worthless news shit! They're talkin' Levi-fuckin'-Johnson here!

64 60
--or--
/They could have all the fathers of all the girls that Levi has impregnated come after him with a bat and a body bag.  Now that I would watch.

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at August 09, 2010 03:29 PM (0fzsA)

And afterward, all the girls can stand over him and squeeze lemons.

65 Hey, I has me a baby momma and no real means of support. It's the American dream!

66 >>>I think we finally have a hard-earned explanation for Ace's recent posting rampage. You know, in a way, you're right.

67 63 Bammy's heart just isn't it to it anymore. Sure, he shamelessly pandered to useful college age idiots, but he's mailing it in.

Presidentin' is hard!  Can't I have Ayers fill in for me, as he did my books?

68 61

"Put him in a room with me and a Lousiville Slugger for five minutes."

Use of our product in a manner inconsistent with the intended purpose renders all warranties, expressed or otherwise, voided in full.

In other words:  You can only hit balls.

Posted by: Hillerich & Bradsby Co. at August 09, 2010 03:30 PM (5npD/)

 

No problem... I'll only hit balls... HIS....

69 that's just ignorant!: "Gov. Perry of Texas welcome Obama, attempts to give him letter expressing state's problems with immigration, Obama refuses to take it."

But Obama will take Eduardo Galeano's spanish language The Open Veins of Latin America from Hugo Chavez.

But to a bigger point - Yes, Barack. If you just stick your head in the sand, all your problems will just go away. If you don't take a fact sheet from a border governor, why the issue just doesn't exist.

And good luck with that. The GOP never had a better campaign tool than yourself.

70 >>>I think we finally have a hard-earned explanation for Ace's recent posting rampage.

You know, in a way, you're right.

You seem to be having fun again, ace.  That's a good thing.

71 Finally, a show that even Keith Olbermann can beat in the ratings!

Not so fast, there, partner.

72 How 'bout thirty minutes of that hockey-playing faggit getting his nads kicked if he shoots in my neighborhood?




Boys, I think we have our star....

73
Just a month ago...

“We got engaged two weeks ago,” Bristol, 19, tells Us Weekly. “It felt right, even though we don’t have the approval of our parents.”…

^{“I really thought we were over,” Levi tells Us Weekly. “So when I went [to meet her about child custody], I had no hope. I think we both just started talking — and then we took Tripp for a walk.”}

Says Bristol, “When he left that night, we didn’t hug or kiss, but I was thinking how different it was. He texted me: ‘I miss you. I love you. I want to be with you again’ … I was in shock.”

74

I don't exist. I have never existed.

*sniff*

Seriously.

75 I don't exist either.

76 Who wants to see Fantasias sex tape???????????

77 I don't exist either. Posted by: Al Gore III at August 09, 2010 03:50 PM ....................................................................... Neither do I.

78 Come to Mama, Levi! (I knew you'd quickly tire of that young biatch.)

79 Says Bristol, “When he left that night, we didn’t hug or kiss, but I was thinking how different it was. He texted me: ‘I miss you. I love you. I want to be with you again’ … I was in shock.” "Then I realized that I had pooped myself, because I am too retarded to retain my toilet-training. I then smeared the feces on the walls around me, as a sort of inchoate cry against the unjustness of an uncaring universe. When Mom yelled at me for my poop-smearing, I cried. Then, Barney came on and I was happy again." Bristol is not the sharpest tack in the box. In fact, I begin to suspect that she is a fucking idiot. Mom did not, apparently, pass much of her common sense down to her daughter.

80 I wish posters would stop talking about Todd Palin putting a beating on Ricky Hollywood and instead spend some ink giving Todd and Sarah serious props for the incredible restraint that they are exercising, both in giving their daughter enough slack to learn from her own mistakes and in resisting the urge to smash that a-hole Baby Daddy.

And if the cables or nets give him a show, then I hope the hell some conservative with money and access to a cable network creates "Lifestyles of the Decadent Democrats" - hour after hour of interviews and dramatizations -
Teddy and Mary Jo Go for a Swim; Hillary and the Magic Billing Records: Billy Ayers' Bomb Factory; Willy and the Human Humidor; Barry Blows some Coke and a Father Figure; etc., etc.   It's gotta be good for a couple of seasons at least.

81

What's up fellas?

 

82 Kathy Griffin Teh Hawt at August 09, 2010 03:53 PM ........................................................................ Can't wait to see your pelvic exam done on your D list show. HDTV will come in handy. We will then also see if the carpet match the drapes.

83 I approve of this idea.

84 The first day of my reality show, I got up. Then, I went downtown.  To look for a job.  Then I hung out at the strip club.  The second day of my reality show, I got up.  Then, I went downtown.  To look for a job.  Then I hung out at the strip club.  The third day of my reality show, I got up.  Then I went uptown.  To look for a job.  Then I stopped by my baby mama's place on the way to hang out at the strip club.  The fourth day ........ 

85

Next stop: Offering blow-jays at highway rest stops.

Hey, if you don't want to work, that's where you're going to end up.

There's always blogging.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz

 

Please. I have some pride and self respect remaining.

86 Ricky Hollywood WILL get a job in the movie industry one day - mark my words.  It will be in the closing credits one day, where you'll read on a moview from the San Fernando Valley:

"Fluffer................Levi Johnston"

87

75 Aka. Bristol got played.

I think Lil Ricky's 30 minutes of fame are starting to draw to a close -- I won't be sorry if he winds up Cobain-ing himself in the near future.

Although I'd love it if his reality show came to my home town...then I could express how I really feel about the rat-bastard-y little, white trash fuckstick.

 

It could be fun.  In fact I'd love to see a YouTube of people mocking the crap out of Levi of the Perpetually Irresponsible Johnson -- if it sent him over the edge into terminal depression...well, as a certain "reporter for Troof" says "you have to break a few eggs".

88

hm.

I guess this is a perfect time to sit our female children down and show them what type of boys they should never date.

89 Johnston needn't fear any violence from any of the Palins, but there are probably plenty of other Alaskans who would like to meet up with him.

90

83  That's kind of a good idea -- wonder if a person would get arrested for it? 

Oh, who am I kidding, of course a person would get arrested for making such a hatefully hateful show like that.

91 With some luck, he'll end up on the evening news, found naked, bound, and very dead in some swamp.

92

Monty:

Girls that age and boys for that matter are full-hormone driven. Girls retain some blood to the brain but the idea of "romantic love" turns that into mushy goo. Historically, men protected their daughters from lotharios, only recently were girls expected to fend for themselves in that arena. The unwed birth rate/abortion rates tells the rest of the story. Even the smartest woman will falter at a pretty face. She's been dumb but this guy is obviously a con man.

93

91  Oh, I've already had that talk with mine -- along with veiled threats of slapping them and possibly disowning if they would continue in such stupidity.

It's actually a lot nicer than the one I got from Dad -- so I'm much more enlightened.

94

Can't wait to see your pelvic exam done on your D list show. HDTV will come in handy. We will then also see if the carpet match the drapes.

Not gonna happen.

95

"And maybe John Kerry's drunk-driving daughter, too"

I have to defend Alex Kerry here.  Full disclosure:  she's a former acquaintance, and a truly nice person, albeit a completely libtard politically (but how could she be anything else with that imbecile for a father).

She was not arrested for drunk driving, and her blood alcohol level was below the legal limit.  As I understand it, she was pulled over for an expired registration, not erratic driving.  Then the cops suspected that she might be drunk, but she wasn't, at least legally.

Attack her on the grounds of being a Moonbat, sure; that's fair, but it's just not true that she was a drunk driver.

Just saying.

96 Historically, men protected their daughters from lotharios, only recently were girls expected to fend for themselves in that arena.

That is because "historically" a man cold horsewhip someone who "shamed" his daughter and the community would think it was great and buy him a beer.

Not so much anymore.

97 But I don't think that is the real reason for the breakdown of the morals of the girls. I think it is the LBJ Great Society and the ideals that it brought with it.

We have been sliding into this morass of shit ever since that crap was passed.

98

99 Historically the dad could horsewhip his daughter too.

Fear of possible consequences can be a great motivator.

99 Historically the dad could horsewhip his daughter too.

Not so much "horsewhip". Maybe a strappen' but even that was not to be overdone for a girl.

In the old days if a girl got pregnant she went off for a delivery somewhere out of town. 

100 102  LOL -- not in my family!  We girls got our asses beat just as hard as the boys...and it was effective (nobody got to the stage of getting knocked up -- fear of consequences, man).

101 "Next stop: Offering blow-jays at highway rest stops.

Hey, if you don't want to work, that's where you're going to end up."

Au contraire!  Have you considered a career in municipal employment, young man?  One can, with minimal effort, secure for oneself a most-impressive haul of loot.

102 He's a naive kid. Could some kind conservative please give him a job so he doesn't have to play with the devils. Fox?

103 Suggested title: Bearshit Walking

104 Bristol is not the sharpest tack in the box. In fact, I begin to suspect that she is a fucking idiot. Mom did not, apparently, pass much of her common sense down to her daughter.

Johnston is a sociopath.  I think he just wanted a nostalgia boink from Bristol,

105 My theory is that (1) Levi got this deal before getting back with Bristol.  (2) Him and Bristol was part of the pitch.  (3) He smooched up to Bristol who, despite being a total sap, really wanted to resolve the whole fatherless child thing in the right way.  (4) He agreed to apologize to Sarah at the request of Bristol. (5) He said, "Oh, by the way, babe, I have some deals in the works."  (6) That's essentially when they broke up.

Levi is a smoking turd.

106 Gov. Perry of Texas welcome Obama, attempts to give him letter expressing state's problems with immigration, Obama refuses to take it.

Funny, he took a commie book from Chavez and the media made excuses that he couldn't refuse it out of politeness.

107 109 Gov. Perry of Texas welcome Obama, attempts to give him letter expressing state's problems with immigration, Obama refuses to take it.

Funny, he took a commie book from Chavez and the media made excuses that he couldn't refuse it out of politeness.
Posted by: AmishDude

Yes but Texas is part of the USA.

108 Maybe he can remake "Grizzly Man" with the exact same ending. I'd watch that.

109 Not to be a dick or anything, but didn't Sarah Palin resign as Governor to be on a full-time reality show?

110 Yes but Texas is part of the USA.

Yeah, this week.  Right now, the extended warranty on that may have expired.

111 Levi Johnston's Nutshot, where every episode ends with Levi Johnston getting hit in the nuts.

I'd watch it.

112 People who be more interested in knowing how to knock up a governors 17 year old daughter while the governor was still in the house and letting you do "sleep overs"r. there is real money in that line of work

113 And all in only 20 years.

114

Next stop: Offering blow-jays at highway rest stops.

--------------

BUNK!

 

 

115 Let's not be too hard on poor Levi... He just created jobs (in the entertainment industry) than Obama EVER will.

116

Levi Johnston (Unexpectedly) Signs Deal For Reality TV Show

In other news:  Bear (Unexpectedly) Shits In Woods

117 People who be more interested in knowing how to knock up a governors 17 year old daughter while the governor was still in the house and letting you do "sleep overs"r.

I tried reading that sentence a few times, but I only got "duhr duhr duhr duhr."

118 Maybe he can remake "Grizzly Man" with the exact same ending.

If Levi does Grizzly Man, you can expect the co-star will be a hairy gay man.

119

Let's suppose some stupid shmuck had knocked up Chelsea Clinton, then broke up with her and then told embarrassing stories about Hildebeast and Bill-Jeff Bentpecker.

 

Does anybody really think that ANY network would come within a country mile of THAT guy, let alone offered him a reality TV show???

 

120 It must be so lonely being Denny.

121 Believe me, the blow-jay route is not that far fetched. He's following the traditional career arc: reality show star washout, then solo gay-for-pay, then a pair up. Several of the rejects from the Tool Academy have already mapped out that path. It's going to happen, my friends. The only remaining question: pitcher or catcher?

122 How come all you guys forgot Howard Dean's burglar kid?

123 Levi Johnston will remain in the public eye with one 'project' or another as long as he is useful to the DNC. Unfortunately for him, he will mistake his celebrity for talent until such time that he is no longer useful.

124 iPad to Mac Transfer is a professional mac software, designed for iPad users, aims to make it is easy for iPad users to transfer iPad to mac in a fairly easy and fluent way. iPad to Mac Transfer enable users to transfer various files on iPad to mac, including images, videos, audios, playlists, etc. Just by dragging and dropping, you can transfer iPad to mac yourself.