1 Ace, stop scaring me like that.

2

Which is why an elementary school punishes a child for putting armed Green Army Men on a hat and wearing it to school, saying it violates their zero-tolerance policy on weapons.

3 WA state recently passed a special tax on sodas, bottled water, junk food and candy.  I'm so glad the state is trying to save me from myself. 

4 WA state recently passed a special tax on sodas, bottled water, junk food and candy.  I'm so glad the state is trying to save me from myself. 

Posted by: runningrn at June 21, 2010 02:23 PM (CfmlF)

But they can start sprinkling in some flour to get around the tax... which means I'm fucked.

Thank you WA State dumbasses.

5 This blog has ruined more lives than sodas.

6 You may need some supervision, if your pulling Onion articles from eight years ago.

7 The left has always been a combination of fascism and communism.

8 Yeah, I'll just pull out my trusty comment about how if the government can't tell me whether or not I put a dick in my mouth, the government can't tell me whether or not I can put a donut in my mouth. 

The friends thing is a classic example of an idea so stupid only an intellectual could believe it. 

9
It's bad for kids to have best friends

And I'm the proof!

10

Thank you WA State dumbasses.

 

Oh yeah, I forgot about the new tax on beer and wine.  But it excludes local microbreweries and wineries.

 

11 It's not just soda taxes, either. Our "expert class" now says it's bad for kids to have best friends.

It's easier to watch someone be taken off to the prison camps if you don't have much of a connection.  They're just preparing us.  It's all about us, you see.  They're thinking of us, the small people.

12

The Overton Window has shifted.  That's why this is no longer a gag, and has become (allegedly) serious debate.

13

Out of the shadows - Illegal Aliens

Into the shadows - BFF's

14 So many cold dead hands ...





Braaiiinnns.

15 That book 1984?  That's actually the optimal way to live your life.

16 Yeah, this one seemed a lot funnier and ridiculous ten years ago, too:

Hershey's Ordered to Pay Obese Americans $135 Billion

17 You know how much revenue Delaware would rake in if they taxed herpes?

18 I think the reason most people become liberals is because some aspect of their has been difficult or even traumatizing and they want government to "fix it". Like being bullied at school, or failing at a business. Or having someone at a bar smoking ruining their ideal of what getting piss drunk is all about.

19 What's up the scale from loathe?  That's what idiot psychobabblers get from me.

I guess I need to go to one of the camps or something.

20
It is also bad to have a father that raises you, a mother who can keep her legs together, girlfriends, college chums, a real job in the private sector, morals, loyalty, or a pretty wife.

21 The last funny thing I read from them was something about Clinton sending an emergency airlift of vowels to Eastern Europe.

Nonsense.  This article made me laugh out loud:

Various Deities Still Sorting Through Victims Of Tragic Queens Bus Accident

22
 Â“I donÂ’t think itÂ’s particularly healthy for a child to rely on one friend,” said Jay Jacobs, the campÂ’s director. “If something goes awry, it can be devastating. It also limits a childÂ’s ability to explore other options in the world.”

This guy is a sociopath.

23

We are in uncharted double speak territory.

Hilda Solis Labor Secretary said you have the right to be paid fairly whether or not you are documented.

Just fucking think about that.     You have no right to be here, ergo you CANNOT be paid legally.

But we are in new territory.

24 Yeah, this one seemed a lot funnier and ridiculous ten years ago, too:

Hershey's Ordered to Pay Obese Americans $135 Billion

Posted by: Kensington at June 21, 2010 02:32 PM (aDdAT)

Well, today it would be:

Hershey's Ordered to put $1.35 Trillion in an escrow account to be paid out to Obese Americans, as long as they're not white.

25 In another life imitates Onion moment, Rush reading a new missive from Al Qaeda mocking Obama for losing Ted Kennedy's seat to Scott Brown.

26

Ace -

Gabe just Poll'd you.

-G

27 Yet more evidence that the grip that government schools have on children needs to be broken.

It's easier to watch someone be taken off to the prison camps if you don't have much of a connection.  They're just preparing us.  It's all about us, you see.  They're thinking of us, the small people.

They've been preparing us for the last 100+ years through the prisons/re-education camps that are government schools.  One thing that I've heard from people that have done time in prison is that it sucks to have someone always telling you what you can do and where you can go/be.  Sounds rather like a classroom doesn't it?  "Teacher, may I go to the bathroom?"  It's just like at home, my kids always have to ask my permission to relieve themselves.

28 The only way to end this is to strangle the beast. Cut tax revenue and ability to create debt to the point where the various governments need to beg for money to do the essential tasks and nothing more.

29

“I don’t think it’s particularly healthy for a child to rely on one friend,” said Jay Jacobs, the camp’s director. “If something goes awry, it can be devastating. It also limits a child’s ability to explore other options in the world.”

Yes, these people are trying to isolate children so that their best friend growing up is Uncle Sugar.

30 The left has always been a combination of fascism and communism. It's like a coin, it has two sides but it is the same thing. ----- This stuff is no joke any longer. What was yesterday's satire is today's reality. I confidently predict that in ten years cars will be factory-limited to 55 mph, medical care will legally require government monitoring of your food intake, ISPs will have to report individual bandwidth usage to the FCC, and people will be jailed for using racial slurs against non-whites. But if you can't read, speak English or produce ID, you will be encouraged to vote.

31

It got a little contentious here yesterday about cigarette taxes. Someone, I won't name names, didn't have an issue with it because his own father died in early 60's. And it was Father's Day so I kept my usual nastiness to a minimum. But some issues are truly emotion vs. logic.

 

I read somewhere on the blogosphere today (probably Hotair) that NY has raised their cigarette taxes so now a pack of ciggies will cost 10 bucks there.  One of my girlfriend's mom was a big smoker who lived in NY.  She used to drive to PA to buy her smokes because it was so much cheaper.

32 The equivalent tax as cigarettes on bacon would put a pound of bacon at about $302.00. Your newsletter, pronto! We're on board all the way.

33

But if you can't read, speak English or produce ID, you will be encouraged to vote.

 

Yes!  And early and often!

34

_{But if you can't read, speak English or produce ID, you will be encouraged to vote.}

Up to Six Times!!!

35

Hilda Solis Labor Secretary said you have the right to be paid fairly whether or not you are documented.

Just fucking think about that.     You have no right to be here, ergo you CANNOT be paid legally.

Posted by: gus at June 21, 2010 02:34 PM (Vqruj)

Moreover, if you're undocumented, it's a Federal crime for your employer to have hired you.  And if you used forged documents for your I-9 form when you were hired, you committed a Federal crime.

But apparently the only Federal laws that merit enforcement under this Administration are the wage and working conditions laws.

36 But smokers get butt fucked and very few will stand up for them. if you were all getting butt f___ked, then someone would standup for you. What would be easier - a little lube or quitting the smokes?

37 But apparently the only Federal laws that merit enforcement under this Administration are the wage and working conditions laws. I am the law!

38 Hilda Solis Labor Secretary said you have the right to be paid fairly whether or not you are documented.

Cash under the table doesn't fill union coffers.

39 Sigh.  Just propose special confiscatory taxes on lawyers and this all goes away.

40

I demand to be sent to the island with teh other conservative Alpha-plusses

Fuck Mustapha Mond.  I'm sure that we would figure out a better way to live than this.

41 Sorry to say, but at least half of the Nation Below Canda has the literal mindset of the people quoted in the Onion parody. This nation no longer has a majority in favor of self-reliance, temperance, or even a passing interest in looking after oneself. Propose that government regulate and monitor what you eat and drink, how you work, where you live, for the children, for our health, for the planet, and 52% of us would cheer the idea and ask why conservatives want us to die instead. It may be 100 years before the idea of self-reliance gains fresh traction anywhere. Does anyone see a groundswell of people taking back responsibility for their lives?

42 No soda, no sugar, no best friends...

Libby-land really sucks.

43
Yes, these people are trying to isolate children so that their best friend growing up is Uncle Sugar.

Cambodia all over again. 

44 Me love you long time.

45 Hadn't looked at teh Onion in years, thought they would be completely lefty - or has Obama lost the left. http://tinyurl.com/22pg89m The New York apartment President Barack Obama inhabited while he was a student at Columbia University is available for rent at $1,900 a month. Here are some other pieces of Obama's past you can buy or rent: .

46 This stuff is no joke any longer. What was yesterday's satire is today's reality. I confidently predict that in ten years cars will be factory-limited to 55 mph, medical care will legally require government monitoring of your food intake,

Don't laugh. A coworker bought one of those Ford F-150 lightening trucks with the 350 HP V8. In order to get it over 120 he had to order a new electronic ignition chip.  The original had a governor on it to keep it below 120.

47 You people are just going to have to accept that our overlords are not pleased with us AT ALL! Switching out the current bunch of mulishly independent citizens for a bunch of grateful subjects from third world sinkholes isn't a trend to be deplored by our bureaucratic betters, but welcomed and abetted. All-mighty government has had just about enough of your backtalk.

48

I read somewhere on the blogosphere today (probably Hotair) that NY has raised their cigarette taxes so now a pack of ciggies will cost 10 bucks there.  One of my girlfriend's mom was a big smoker who lived in NY.  She used to drive to PA to buy her smokes because it was so much cheaper.

Posted by: runningrn at June 21, 2010 02:40 PM (CfmlF)

I see that the Governor and legislature want to require Indian reservations in New York to collect and remit cigarette taxes for sales to non-Indians.  I am unsure how that would pass Constitutional muster.

49 One of the things I love about the show "Mad Men" is that it has all those little pre nannystate/safety concern bits. My favorite was when little Sally was running around with a plastic dry cleaner bag over her head, and Betty yelled at her for leaving the article of clothing on the floor, and little Sally ran off with the dry cleaner bag still clinging to her nose and mouth. I have to ask myself, what kind of a person thinks this is hilarious.

50

I've never understood the LIBTARD LOGIC.

Bacon kills tax it.

Sugar kills tax it.

Cigarettes kill tax it??

WHY?  We all die of something.   The longer we live, the more we cost.

But the ANSWER has always been in plain site.  Some MOTHERFUCKING IDIOTS believe we are taxing SALT and CIGARETTES to help people.

We aren't we are merely giving LIBTARDS and GOVERNMENT more money to buy votes with.

51 This tax is going to end up costing NYS money -- just in the road improvements leading to the Indian Reservations alone.

52 I see that the Governor and legislature want to require Indian reservations in New York to collect and remit cigarette taxes for sales to non-Indians. I am unsure how that would pass Constitutional muster. Somewhere in the last 250 years or so, someone once started a revolution over things like that. Can't remember exactly where, though. Quaint.

53
what kind of a person DOESN'T thinks this is hilarious.

ftfy

54 But you take social security and MEDICARE when you get it!

55

Our "expert class" is being quoted in the Fashion section.

That about says it.

56

A soda tax?? Next thing you know some out-of-control nannies will want to ban toys in Happy Meals and advertising aimed at children!

Oh, wait a minute...

57 58

I've never understood the LIBTARD LOGIC.

Bacon kills tax it.

Sugar kills tax it.

Cigarettes kill tax it??

WHY? We all die of something. The longer we live, the more we cost.

But the ANSWER has always been in plain site. Some MOTHERFUCKING IDIOTS believe we are taxing SALT and CIGARETTES to help people.

We aren't we are merely giving LIBTARDS and GOVERNMENT more money to buy votes with.

Posted by: gus at June 21, 2010 02:57 PM (Vqruj)

Hell, these are the people that tax death.  Nothing's safe from taxation.  Pretty soon, it'll be a "breathing their oxygen" tax.  We're already taxed on living.

58

I don't know which is worse: out of control government regulation/taxation of everyday life (which, though very bad, can be considered logical as it gives more power to them)...or the stupid, stupid sheeple who actually want it; want it more and harder, please.

Dear God...I need a smoke after reading this.

59

"Yes, these people are trying to isolate children so that their best friend growing up is Uncle Sugar."

To those fellow members of the Moron Horde that have children and/or saw WALL-E...

Was I the only one ooged out by the snippet showing the ship's daycare center?
A is for Axiom, your home sweet home.
B is for Buy 'n Large, your very best friend.

I believe that I will soon begin referring to the Obama Administration as BnL / Buy 'n Large.

Separately, I don't find myself holding much disdain for governors on motor vehicles keeping them below 120mph.  Firstly, I'm not sure, but I don't think that's a legal mandate (although it may be) as much as an automaker seeking to do a little preventative-maintenance on its company image.  If you kept seeing news story after endless news story about F-150 Lightnings getting into hideous wrecks because, let's face it, a pickup truck isn't going to be very aerodynamically stable at 150mph, that would do significant damage to the compnay's repuptation to those who seek to buy a safe product.  So that governor may be there because of legitimate safety concerns held by the company, not because Frau Nancy told them to do it.

Beyond that, seriously...are you really going to bitch about not being able to do more than 120mph on the freeway?  In America, you are free to ignore the speed limit.  You are free to do whatever you like in your car.  And I think you are fully capable of exercising your freedom to accidentally kill another motorist when you hit them at 115mph as opposed to 135mph.

^{(even more O/T, Nissan's GT-R has electronic speed-limiters that remain in effect when the vehicle's GPS system locates the car on a public street, but automatically turn off when the GPS finds itself at a racetrack)}

60 Children don't need a best friend because Obama is everyone's Big Brother.

61 I've got it!  We'll just tax the hell out of death!  That way, everyone will live forever!

62

Hi guys, this will be my last comment here for a while.  Maybe forever.  You used to be my favorite blog.  But now, the FCC has told me that they will no longer allow people to have favorite blogs.  It excludes us from enjoying other blogs and is potentially  unhealthy.  Just imagine the blow to my self image if this blog shut down, or started to espouse positions that I disagreed with.

So, my "favorites" tab on my web-browser will be re-written to contain the officiall FCC list of approved websites for me to read.

Again, it was great knowing all of you, and maybe we'll bump into each over someday in a tangential way.

63 Firstly, I'm not sure, but I don't think that's a legal mandate (although it may be) as much as an automaker seeking to do a little preventative-maintenance on its company image.



Actually, I'll bet that it's a warranty issue, not a safety issue. I might reconsider giving someone a 100k mile warranty if they were running that engine at 120mph+ on a regular basis.

64

Again, it was great knowing all of you, and maybe we'll bump into each over someday in a tangential way.

I'm really sorry to see you go, Ed!

65 69 I've got it! We'll just tax the hell out of death! That way, everyone will live forever!

Posted by: Libtard at June 21, 2010 03:33 PM (xxgag)

Already done. I believe it's called the Inheritance Tax.

66

Due to the Fairness Doctrine, I've now got to counter all my friends in my church community with new friends who will offer a diverse range of opinions in my life.

So if anyone has any contact information for that vampyre guy running for local office that we will occassionally make fun of around here, I'd really appreciate it.

67

68 Things like the "no best friends" rule and all the kid's TV shows that encourage "getting along with others" over any sort of individuality are just tools for making a more compliant generation of drones.  There is little room for individuality and autonomous behavior in socialism.

69

I've never understood the LIBTARD LOGIC.

Bacon kills tax it.

Sugar kills tax it.

Cigarettes kill tax it??

WHY?  We all die of something.   The longer we live, the more we cost.

You misunderstand. They tax those things not because they "kill". They tax them because people enjoy them.

70 "Sally was running around with a plastic dry cleaner bag over her head, and Betty yelled at her for leaving the article of clothing on the floor, and little Sally ran off with the dry cleaner bag still clinging to her nose and mouth. I have to ask myself, what kind of a person thinks this is hilarious. Posted by: nerdygirl"

*Raises hand*

71 Re soda taxes and social engineers tinkering with little kids' lives: If this keep up much longer, there's gonna have to be some killin' done.

72 Further proof of my theory that most of these "educators" and bureaucrats are people whose emotional development was arrested at about age 13.

These people need to GET. A. LIFE.

73 Don't forget the brand of  canada goose anyway. It is because Canada goose clothes could bring you all that you really need in the chilly winter. A nice canada goose coat absolutely brings a funny winter life. Canada goose label also earns great admiration and appreciation, which other winter coats cannot gain from customers. Perhaps you could experience canada goose clothing in order to learn well about this style of winter clothing. Then, you can leave your own comments on canada goose coats on the website. Of course, you also could find out other comments and reviews on Canada goose from the Internet.(yang)