November 21, 2010
— Open Blogger So I suggested to Ace that we do a Midday Overnight Open Thread this week, on account of everyone's going to be wandering around in a haze of tryptophan and Valu-Rite and "playing the TSA home game" on themselves instead of making news for the next ten days, and we need something to keep the Morons occupied. He responded, "A Midday Overnight Thread sounds so stupid we can't not have it on the site. Makes no sense, so it's perfect."
Sounds like the Ace Seal of Approval© to me!
'Cause they're drunken seals...panda...thingies...
Anyway, it's midnight in Bangladesh, so just play along, okay?
More crud after the jump. It's my first post, be gentle. If I end up posting something Genghis or Maetenloch has put up in the past, consider it a sign of my good taste in links instead of a massive screwup. Kthx. I'm sure most of it will be different anyway, because I'm abnormal.
Above: Different.
Reason #612 to Defund Public Broadcasting: Sesame Street Sucks
Today's Sesame Street? Dumbed-down blather about self-esteem and a solid half-hour of CGI Elmo. '70s Sesame Street? Intentional post-psychedelic screwing with kids' minds. Unless they go back to making stuff like this that warps children for life, they don't deserve our cash. Not that they'd deserve it even then, but at least I could be content with the knowledge my children will have the same bone-chilling Muppet nightmares I did. H ... H ... H ... H ...
Flyover America Comments on the Kent State Shootings
So this guy dug up some choice letters to the editor of LIFE Magazine right after the, uhm, episode. I have the feeling his reaction to them is somewhat different than the average Moron's will be, but hey, you be the judge. You're a Moron, after all.
Get off my lawn! Damn hippies.
The Cleveland Steamer: Yours For Just $10
This is what happens when you give Brooklyn hipsters seed money: Plush toys based on unpleasant sexual antics. At least, I've been told that's what the terms mean. I wouldn't know, you know.
He's a cute little bugger, though.
Not a worm.
Nothing Says "Fun" Like "East German Consumer Product Design!"
Because Communists needed to feel trendy, too. A lot of this stuff is actually pretty cool. Whether it functioned or not, I have no idea.
But wait! It's also a Geiger counter!
Options for Field Anesthesia in the Horse
Just in case you might ever need it. You've already got plenty of ketamine and diazepam on hand anyway.
Fava Bean Lovers' Link of the Day
The latest research on what causes psychopaths to be their lovable little selves, committing mass murders across 17 states, voting for Barney Frank, stuff like that. It seems they're really good at saying the right things without thinking about it the same way the rest of us do. (Maybe I should have put the Barney Frank joke here.)
Dr Ermer and Dr Kiehl suspected the reason might be that, despite psychopaths’ ability to give the appropriate answer when confronted with a moral problem, they are not arriving at this answer by normal psychological processes. In particular, the two researchers thought that psychopaths might not possess the instinctive grasp of social contracts—the rules that govern obligations—that other people have.
Yeah, that's Congress, all right.
Today's MONT brought to you by Toonces: The Music Video.
Notice: Posted by permission of AceCorp LLC. You got tips? If they're monetary, I'll give ya my PayPal address. If they're informational, please send them to Ace. I'm not too good with informationals.
Posted by: Open Blogger at
09:55 AM
| Comments (178)
Post contains 604 words, total size 6 kb.
Posted by: chemjeff at November 21, 2010 09:59 AM (PaSAU)
Posted by: CoolCzech at November 21, 2010 10:00 AM (tJjm/)
Posted by: Rajiv Vindaloo at November 21, 2010 10:08 AM (BZ2Bm)
Posted by: logprof at November 21, 2010 10:09 AM (BP6Z1)
I stopped cleaning snake tanks to check here.
Oh well, back to the tanks.
Posted by: EZB at November 21, 2010 10:11 AM (fa9yq)
Will Rum be stealing souls this afternoon?
(and taking mancards)
No, Teh Evil One only comes out at night....
Posted by: The War Between the Undead States at November 21, 2010 10:12 AM (Y5XF1)
Yes. But we're only important "in the totality."
But if we are all cob bloggers, then aren't none of us really cob bloggers?
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at November 21, 2010 10:12 AM (9hSKh)
Posted by: Z Ryan at November 21, 2010 10:13 AM (FjmSl)
Posted by: Z Ryan at November 21, 2010 10:13 AM (FjmSl)
"A Midday Overnight Thread sounds so stupid", "Makes no sense"
You had me going until the cats, the stupid cats that went nowhere, no even remotely funny, lose the cats, and ahhh, hmmm, more boobies please!
That is all.
Posted by: RonUSA at November 21, 2010 10:13 AM (s8a2N)
Posted by: eman at November 21, 2010 10:14 AM (CbwqF)
Posted by: George Orwell, Ltd. at November 21, 2010 10:14 AM (/WLDq)
Posted by: George Orwell, Ltd. at November 21, 2010 10:16 AM (/WLDq)
Posted by: eman at November 21, 2010 10:19 AM (CbwqF)
Posted by: HeatherRadish at November 21, 2010 10:21 AM (4ucxv)
Posted by: Rajiv Vindaloo at November 21, 2010 10:22 AM (BZ2Bm)
As you believe, so shall you do.
Posted by: Melvin Belli at November 21, 2010 10:25 AM (Y5XF1)
Did you ever look at something and just know that this was the way things were supposed to be?
via Boker Tov Boulder
Posted by: Hussein the Plumber at November 21, 2010 10:27 AM (r1h5M)
Joking aside, very true.
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at November 21, 2010 10:28 AM (9hSKh)
Posted by: SJR2 at November 21, 2010 10:28 AM (oCbCP)
Posted by: Ernie at November 21, 2010 10:29 AM (Y5XF1)
Fine job, moron Vindaloo, fine job!
Posted by: Theresa D at November 21, 2010 10:30 AM (k9cj/)
Posted by: Theresa D at November 21, 2010 10:31 AM (k9cj/)
Posted by: Rajiv Vindaloo at November 21, 2010 10:34 AM (BZ2Bm)
Posted by: George Orwell, Ltd. at November 21, 2010 10:39 AM (/WLDq)
Posted by: Rajiv Vindaloo at November 21, 2010 10:40 AM (BZ2Bm)
Posted by: HeatherRadish at November 21, 2010 10:40 AM (4ucxv)
Posted by: CAC at November 21, 2010 10:42 AM (Gr1V1)
I don't know; Lister was about the last person who could make that stuff sound appetizing.
Posted by: The War Between the Undead States at November 21, 2010 10:43 AM (Y5XF1)
We need some double-posts and more Wicket pics before the new cob loggers can even some close to the depravity and horror of the regular posters.
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at November 21, 2010 10:45 AM (9hSKh)
Posted by: SJR2 at November 21, 2010 10:45 AM (oCbCP)
Posted by: SurferDoc at November 21, 2010 10:49 AM (RKpGM)
Posted by: George Orwell, Ltd. at November 21, 2010 10:50 AM (/WLDq)
Posted by: Z Ryan at November 21, 2010 02:49 PM (FjmSl)
It's not the world's fault you're a Vikings fan.
(spoken as a Lions' fan)
Posted by: Tom in Korea at November 21, 2010 10:50 AM (+gX1+)
Posted by: George Orwell, Ltd. at November 21, 2010 10:54 AM (/WLDq)
Posted by: Mr LaRue to you at November 21, 2010 10:57 AM (Fr8N6)
Posted by: Dave C at November 21, 2010 10:57 AM (poJjg)
Posted by: George Orwell, Ltd. at November 21, 2010 10:57 AM (/WLDq)
You know how many times I have to tell this bridge jockey about breaking the laws of physics? They're laws of physics for a good reason, not some Alan Dershowitz facing Kirk's old girlfriend Marcia Clark in a court-martial.
Very first time I get assigned to the Enterprise, Capt Pedal to the Medal has to poke his nose into a Rubiks cube, except that it spins enough radiation out to microwave the entire crew into breakfast sausage. Spock starts yelling that radiation is beyond tolerance level, which means we're all about to be poppin' fresh. Kirk finally gets the clue and blasts it into dust. While we're all puking our guts out and spitting out teeth, we find out the guys who sent the warning buoy out got a little pissed that we're on their turf, they're telling us we've got 5 minutes to pray to whatever deity we believe in and kiss our asses goodbye.
Well, I'll give Kirk credit for coming up with some bullshit fake metal coating and tells them that "we're rubber, you're glue, whatever you throw bounces off me and sticks to you". I didn't think even the idiot chicks on that planet of pole dancers would fall for that one, but once in a while you luck out. Or in Kirk's case we luck out enough times to overcome his wreckless stupidity.
Anyway, while we're trying to find a channel this guy's on, he gives Uhura the universal remote code so we can see this guy on TV. Who do we see? The old guy from the Muppet Show! I'm damn near pissing my pants laughing that Kirk is getting pwned by these guys. Well, they tell us they're going to spare our asses but they're still going to tow our asses for parking in a no invading zone.
Out of this huge disco ball in space pops this little towing ship no bigger than a fucking Toyota Corolla, but it's got a juiced up engine in it and they're going to tow us to Balok's Impound Yard. I figure we have Starfleet wire Balok some money and we're back out in a day looking for Kirk's next lay. Nope, Capt Macho wants to break the tow, so he orders the warp AND impulse engines into full reverse. If you thought Sulu looked scared shitless watching the primary manifold coolant gauges, you should have seen us down in engineering with the warning lights going off like a Vegas slot machine and the engines groaning like they were going to snap off and run away. Well, Kirk's luck overcame his macho stupidity and just as we're about to blow engine bits over half the galaxy, the dinky tow truck figures he's not going to blow HIS engines over a bullshit parking fine and shuts down.
Kirk and McCoy go over to see if this Balok guy is OK, and what does he find? Some fucking laughing little midget. Kirk damn near has us radiated into double whoppers and the engines overheated into junk when all this midget wanted was some fucking company. You think Spock could have at least friended the guy on Facebook or something, but don't ask me, I just fix this shit after they've trashed it.
Posted by: Montgomery Scott at November 21, 2010 11:03 AM (vdfwz)
Posted by: Moi at November 21, 2010 11:03 AM (Ez4Ql)
Mid-day Cleveland Steamer links?
Welcome to Hell, sister, 
.
/Idi Amin will be your guide today through the abode of the damned.
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at November 21, 2010 11:07 AM (9hSKh)
Posted by: James Tiberius Kirk at November 21, 2010 11:08 AM (/WLDq)
Posted by: James Tiberius Kirk at November 21, 2010 03:08 PM (/WLDq)
Get in line, pussy boy.
Posted by: Evil Transporter Duplicate James Tiberius Kirk at November 21, 2010 11:10 AM (Y5XF1)
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at November 21, 2010 11:11 AM (XBx/N)
Posted by: Waterhouse at November 21, 2010 11:12 AM (bi3em)
Posted by: James Tiberius Kirk at November 21, 2010 11:15 AM (/WLDq)
Posted by: James Tiberius Kirk at November 21, 2010 03:08 PM (/WLDq)
Get in line, pussy boy.
Posted by: Evil Transporter Duplicate James Tiberius Kirk at November 21, 2010 03:10
Ohhhhhh myyyyyyyy !!!!!
Posted by: Lt Sulu at November 21, 2010 11:23 AM (vdfwz)
Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at November 21, 2010 11:29 AM (OnrQB)
Posted by: Rajiv Vindaloo
********************
Actually the package says "ramen and peanuts". The frosty beer in the first panda's hand indicates a salty snack.
Go figure. Maybe it's an Indonesian-ish sort of thing.
"Indonesian" gone terribly wrong.
Posted by: Charlie Basmati at November 21, 2010 11:32 AM (UIqfz)
Posted by: Barack Obama, Nobel International Aisle Secret Shopper Prize Winner at November 21, 2010 11:35 AM (0IR+C)
Posted by: James Tiberius Kirk at November 21, 2010 11:37 AM (/WLDq)
Posted by: unknown jane at November 21, 2010 11:37 AM (5/yRG)
Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at November 21, 2010 03:29 PM (OnrQB)
Attack of the Shows gadget pron segment has covered quite a few e-readers. So you can search them for their reviews for some possible guidance and help you learn the features offered. Here's their review of the newest Kindle.
Posted by: buzzion at November 21, 2010 11:38 AM (oVQFe)
And I have no idea how I managed to come across it.
Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at November 21, 2010 11:40 AM (fxACH)
Oh sure, NOW you tell me...
Posted by: Mr. Hands at November 21, 2010 11:43 AM (0IR+C)
Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at November 21, 2010 11:43 AM (OnrQB)
87 Learning from your mistakes is a valuable teaching tool Mr. Hands; better luck next time.
Posted by: unknown jane at November 21, 2010 11:46 AM (5/yRG)
Posted by: Rajiv Vindaloo at November 21, 2010 11:49 AM (BZ2Bm)
Posted by: chique d'afrique (the artist formerly known as african chick) at November 21, 2010 03:43 PM (OnrQB)
No problem. I do actually like their gadget pron segment because they almost always include a side by side comparison of some features of the items. They do that often with the smartphones. Nice to actually see it visually instead of just going to a website and trying to do your own comparison, or reading a review and half the time they act like competitors don't exist so they compare to the previous version or mention differences in passing
Posted by: buzzion at November 21, 2010 11:50 AM (oVQFe)
Posted by: Dr. Varno at November 21, 2010 12:02 PM (IKo9J)
Will Rum be stealing souls this afternoon?
(and taking mancards)
"No, Teh Evil One only comes out at night...."
Posted by: The War Between the Undead States at November 21, 2010 02:12 PM (Y5XF1)
Posted by: CoolCzech at November 21, 2010 12:05 PM (tJjm/)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 21, 2010 12:06 PM (UOM48)
If....you're....really......Jim Kirk, you're....supposed....to.....postlikethis.
Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at November 21, 2010 12:06 PM (fxACH)
Posted by: Cheeseheadette at November 21, 2010 12:10 PM (YYoBj)
Posted by: Dr. Varno at November 21, 2010 12:10 PM (IKo9J)
Posted by: CoolCzech at November 21, 2010 12:11 PM (tJjm/)
Posted by: James Tiberius Kirk at November 21, 2010 12:13 PM (/WLDq)
Outgoing intel chief: Iran can already produce nuclear bomb
Iran is busy setting up two new nuclear installations, according to the head of Military Intelligence, Major General Amos Yadlin. Speaking before the Knesset Foreign Affairs and Defense Committee, Yadlin said that MI has indications that work has began on the installations, but did not comment on the sources.
Yadlin also told the MKs that Iran has sufficient enriched uranium to manufacture a single nuclear device and may soon have enough for making another bomb.
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at November 21, 2010 12:15 PM (9hSKh)
Posted by: CoolCzech at November 21, 2010 12:15 PM (tJjm/)
Name another dickhead 4 striper who can get a ship mangled up on a training cruise in the middle of nowhere. The whole thing would have been just that if ADMIRAL Horndog hadn't decided to tag along so we can take him some place to get laid. Hey genius, you wanna get laid, try moving out of San Francisco for chrissakes, unless you're into a whole city of Nurse Chapels who strap Sulu into high tech leather chairs and pop his balls into sushi.
Well, we figured on an easy trip until Kirk gets a call from his ex, and since we're out of the calling area the message breaks up like a used Trac Phone. Kirk figures she's bitching that the child support check bounced, so he's got to yank the comm out from under Spock's ass and get to her giant dredel before she has his pay garnished. She said something about Genesis, but Kirk figures she wasn't all the pissed that he never gave her record collection back when she moved out.
While we're on the way, one of the 2nd tier cruisers for losers pops up like he's going to play chicken. Does Admiral Genius put up the shields? Nope, even though Lt Tightpussy tells him that a freshman cadet knows you put them up when communications are down. We end up taking a point blank blast to engineering and the trainees are shitting in their spacesuits. Just as we're about to get the final torpedo up the pipe, the loser ship ceases fire so that guy we fished out of deep freeze 15 years ago could tell Kirk to his face that a payback is a motherfucker.
Once again, Kirk had more luck than brains, because the Smartest Man Since Obama didn't figure out that computers could be hacked and he didn't password protect the thing
Does Kirk ever learn from his mistakes? Yeh, do people line up around the block at a haggis restaurant? We're in the Mutara Nebula fishing around blind like Kirk trying to find his wallet in an Orion whorehouse, and his one glimpse is Mr Fantasy Island heading straight for us. In space you can go up, down, forward, back. What does he do? Hard to starboard, exposing the widest target possible at point blank range. Fucking Stevie Wonder could have scored a direct hit. Just as we'd gotten engineering patched up from his previous brainfart, the whole department takes it in the shorts and we've got to shut down the warp engines.
Once again Kirk's luck overcame his stupidity, because Spock comes down and fixes the warp core before he melts into a puddle of green goo.
Posted by: Montgomery Scott at November 21, 2010 12:15 PM (vdfwz)
Posted by: eman at November 21, 2010 12:16 PM (CbwqF)
Posted by: CoolCzech at November 21, 2010 12:17 PM (tJjm/)
Posted by: The Black Republican at November 21, 2010 12:18 PM (Tfb/G)
Posted by: Dr. Varno at November 21, 2010 12:19 PM (IKo9J)
Posted by: James Tiberius Kirk at November 21, 2010 12:20 PM (/WLDq)
Nurse Chapel said she was busy tonight ... . oh, tran-Ya .. nope, never drank that midget piss myself
Posted by: Montgomery Scott at November 21, 2010 12:20 PM (vdfwz)
Posted by: mpurinTexas (kicking Mexico's ass since 1836) at November 21, 2010 12:20 PM (xMKKV)
Posted by: George Orwell, Ltd. at November 21, 2010 12:22 PM (/WLDq)
Posted by: The Salt Vampire at November 21, 2010 12:22 PM (CbwqF)
Posted by: uncle benny at November 21, 2010 12:23 PM (U7dMi)
Posted by: CrustyB at November 21, 2010 12:24 PM (qzgbP)
Posted by: The TSA at November 21, 2010 12:26 PM (/WLDq)
Want to know why they call me The Miracle Worker? Because every starbase in the galaxy figures if the Enterprise comes back under its own power after your brain dead combat tactics, it's a bigger miracle than Skinemax on Vulcan
Posted by: Montgomery Scott at November 21, 2010 12:26 PM (vdfwz)
Posted by: Dr. Varno at November 21, 2010 12:28 PM (kQ5YN)
Posted by: kbdabear at November 21, 2010 12:29 PM (vdfwz)
100 Pit Bulls really aren't all that vicious; if you really want something that will munch kitties then you need to get yourself a not-safe-with-small animals ex-racing greyhound.
Ours has been murder on squirrels, rabbits, birds...basically anything under 15 lbs. that gets into our backyard.
Posted by: unknown jane at November 21, 2010 12:30 PM (5/yRG)
Don't think I forgot that! I had to take Petey's overcooked body back to my sister and tell her she was right, he should have become a hovercraft mechanic
Posted by: Montgomery Scott at November 21, 2010 12:31 PM (vdfwz)
Posted by: The TSA at November 21, 2010 12:31 PM (/WLDq)
Posted by: unknown jane at November 21, 2010 12:31 PM (5/yRG)
Posted by: James Tiberius Kirk at November 21, 2010 12:32 PM (/WLDq)
Over at Gateway there's a great post about a San Diego guy who refused the porn scanner, was told he'd have the "love pat" and promptly stripped down to his Calvin Klein undies. Then he was ordered to put his clothes back on for the pat-down, refused, was arrested, and marched through two terminals in his underwear. And a woman who got it on video was arrested. For some reason the guy sounds like he might be a moron.
We're living in interesting times. Chinese-curse interesting.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 21, 2010 12:32 PM (UOM48)
Posted by: Dr. Varno at November 21, 2010 12:33 PM (IKo9J)
Posted by: Dr. Leonard Fucking McCoy at November 21, 2010 12:34 PM (/WLDq)
Posted by: uncle benny at November 21, 2010 12:35 PM (U7dMi)
Posted by: Theresa D at November 21, 2010 12:36 PM (k9cj/)
Posted by: Rajiv Vindaloo at November 21, 2010 12:39 PM (EZUty)
ugggh
me: honey, why are you still in your pj's?
A: i'm watching tv
me: get dressed
A: why?
me: because i have a belt with your name on it
A: i think i'll get dressed
her teen years will be epic
Posted by: navycopjoe kicking blackops ass at November 21, 2010 12:40 PM (S9k9+)
I mean look, Spock may be a green-blooded elf with a hyperactive thyroid and a bloodstream the consistency of melted-down Lincoln-head pennies, and there have been times when I've wanted to just preemptively inject the fucker with 10 ccs of cordrazine just to watch his fucking Vulcan head explode all over that stupid scanner of his, but at least he's mostly got his shit together. His command style pisses everyone off, it's true, but at least he's not some hot-headed 34-year-old fuck Starfleet plucked out of a cornfield somewhere and dumped into the command chair of a ship capable of nuking entire planets. And he's certainly not some hard-drinking bagpipe-sucker whose voice comes over the fucking bridge intercom every fifteen minutes to announce that he's gotten his big Scottish dick stuck in the Jefferies tube again and SHE CANNA TAKE MUCH MORE CAP'N in this thick fucking accent that nobody can understand. SPEAK ENGLISH YOU KILT-WEARING PIECE OF SHIT.
Man, fuck. I can't believe I'm still serving with these assholes. Kirk's graduated to shit-talking God Himself and the Scotsman's gotten so fucking huge they had to refit the entire ship from the keel up just to accomodate a warp core slim enough for him to squeeze his fat ass around. They widened the corridors too but since he just keeps getting fatter every fucking day that was a wash; he just has to hang around in Engineering all the time now and call up to the bridge to have us send down for more those weird fucking colored cubes the quartermaster passes off as food on these ships. Some days I want them to just beam me right out into space and get it over with since I've had my atoms scattered to fuck and gone so many times anyway I'm not even sure who I am anymore. We're dead. We are so dead.
Posted by: Dr. Leonard McCoy at November 21, 2010 12:40 PM (RIKrq)
Posted by: Dr. Varno at November 21, 2010 12:41 PM (kQ5YN)
Don't worry, you will get safe haven when you finally join the Spartan Army.
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at November 21, 2010 12:41 PM (9hSKh)
Posted by: navycopjoe kicking blackops ass at November 21, 2010 12:42 PM (S9k9+)
Of course not, we are Spartans after all,
. Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at November 21, 2010 12:43 PM (9hSKh)
Posted by: navycopjoe kicking blackops ass at November 21, 2010 12:44 PM (S9k9+)
Yeh, the computer nailed the Captain Dunsel insult alright
The term is used by midshipmen at Starfleet Academy to describe a part serving no useful purpose. Kirk is visibly shaken by this.
Posted by: Montgomery Scott at November 21, 2010 12:45 PM (vdfwz)
Posted by: Rajiv Vindaloo at November 21, 2010 12:45 PM (EZUty)
Posted by: navycopjoe kicking blackops ass at November 21, 2010 12:45 PM (S9k9+)
Posted by: Mr. Sulu at November 21, 2010 12:47 PM (kQ5YN)
Posted by: Dr. Varno at November 21, 2010 12:52 PM (kQ5YN)
I'm making the InstaChicken recipe for tonight's dinner.
The recipe is either way heavy on veggies and way light on meat or they grow small potatoes down there in TN. The liquids also seemed a bit much: 2 oz. each of Soy, Worcestershire, and Teriyaki sauces seems over the top for even me --a salt lover.
I used two ounces of a brand of a white Zinfandel that I've never tasted before. After adding it I tasted and it was more like a Burgundy than a Zinfandel. Insty says Merlot is acceptable so I can't my the wine choice ruining the recipe.
I'l try to get back tonight and tell fellow morons if it's worth trying.
Posted by: Ed Anger at November 21, 2010 12:54 PM (7+pP9)
Posted by: Dr. Leonard McCoy at November 21, 2010 04:40 PM
Listen you old Mayberry reject Georgia quack, the only reason you're on this ship is that the other planets haven't discovered malpractice tort law yet. Shit, you think it takes a genius to do your work? A pole dancer in a shiny thong who made Jessica Simpson look like Steven Hawking made you look like a bedpan orderly just by sitting under a hair dryer with a few diodes on it for about 30 seconds
Posted by: Montgomery Scott at November 21, 2010 12:55 PM (vdfwz)
126 I won't be flying or taking a train, bus, or subway until our ridiculous DHS puts together a security protocol that actually works -- I'm expecting a major terrorist attach befor that happens though. During the holidays, I also won't be frequenting any major shopping malls or places where large congregations of people gather either...because while everybody is focusing on the airlines that leaves a lot of other targets open.
Fortunately I live in BFE and lead a very simple, mundane, and boring life, so this is rather easily accomplished.
Posted by: unknown jane at November 21, 2010 12:56 PM (5/yRG)
Posted by: kbdabear at November 21, 2010 12:58 PM (vdfwz)
Posted by: antisocialist at November 21, 2010 01:03 PM (Rwudm)
126 I won't be flying or taking a train, bus, or subway until our ridiculous DHS puts together a security protocol that actually works -- I'm expecting a major terrorist attach befor that happens though. During the holidays, I also won't be frequenting any major shopping malls or places where large congregations of people gather either...because while everybody is focusing on the airlines that leaves a lot of other targets open.
Fortunately I live in BFE and lead a very simple, mundane, and boring life, so this is rather easily accomplished.
Hubby is going to his mom's house in Texas for Thanksgiving. I, on the other hand, do not intend to subject myself to the PornScan or the "enhanced paw-over". Not for free, anyway. If they wanna look, they'd better have some dollar bills at the ready.
Posted by: antisocialist at November 21, 2010 01:06 PM (Rwudm)
The last straw for ME was that day that Kirk dragged me down with him to Gamma Hydra IV to check on a bunch of a fucking scientists who were all under 30 but nevertheless looked like they were ready to cut commercials for Wilford Brimley's Denebian Ass-Fungus Supplies by the time we got down there. Now the old fossils all died on me once we dragged 'em up to the ship (and you can't put that on ME because I'm a doctor, not a fucking museum curator), and I thought I'd be able to write "SPACE WILL JUST FUCKING KILL YOU" on the autopsy reports the way I'd done with all of these stiffs ever since that salt bullshit on M-113 and be done with it, but looky-loo, boys and girls, the next day I woke up with a head full of yellowish-gray hair and a face that looked like the fucking L.A. freeway system. Now sure, Kirk and Scotty showed up in Sickbay with the same problem, and some no-name helmet-headed lieutenant babe died of it the next morning (and she was wearing BLUE; that's how bad THIS shit was), and even Spock had a much slower-acting version of it, which was fucking convenient. Yep, way I figured it, we were gonna be mummies in just a few days.
Only guy from the landing party who hadn't contracted Old Age Fever was Chekov, and I had no idea why. But no, Captain Stumblefuck's toupee was receding rapidly and he was none too pleased about that, and so he was on my ass relentlessly to find a cure for this shit. Yeah, you heard that right, A CURE FOR OLD AGE. "What's the problem, Bones? Why isn't Chekov aging, Bones? Is it his glands, Bones? Is it his blood type, Bones? Is it his genes, Bones?" I DON'T FUCKING KNOW, YOU GIRDLE-BUSTING BASTARD. I'm a doctor, not FUCKING GOD, and may I point out that you even gave HIM shit to His face later on.
So anyway, I found a cure for old age the next day. Yeah. Whipped up an adrenaline cocktail and we were all handsome bastards again inside of ten minutes. Even grew back the teeth I'd been projectile-spitting into Chapel's cleavage for laughs, if you can believe that shit. They call Scotty "the miracle worker" when he makes our PCs and Macs work together; I whip up FUCKING IMMORTALITY in my lab and all I get is "good job Bones; way to go Doc; now I broke my dick in Yeoman Atkins again and can you please reset it?" Fucking Kirk, man, I tell you.
Posted by: Dr. Leonard McCoy at November 21, 2010 01:11 PM (RIKrq)
151 LOL...that would be a good comeback; do passengers get paid for providing services?
I'd bet money, if I had any, that we'll see something particularly nasty going down before January is over -- our government is trumpeting these new, great security measures of theirs...that's just ringing the dinnerbell for the jihadis.
Posted by: unknown jane at November 21, 2010 01:12 PM (5/yRG)
On another blog this morning, someone said they worked for a placement agency, and Walmart Greeters and TSA "security" people essentially have the same employment requirements.
I'm not flying soon, unless I win Powerball, and then it's private jet, bitches.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 21, 2010 01:14 PM (UOM48)
Posted by: Mrs. Kirk at November 21, 2010 01:18 PM (tJjm/)
I had an unforgettable moment in an English class I was teaching in Japan, trying to correct a cute young High School girl who pronounced "penis butter" perfectly.
I deserve a medal for not bursting out laughing.
Posted by: MarkD at November 21, 2010 01:33 PM (0Jy1K)
Posted by: Mrs. Kirk at November 21, 2010 01:35 PM (tJjm/)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at November 21, 2010 01:39 PM (UOM48)
Posted by: CoolCzech at November 21, 2010 01:47 PM (tJjm/)
Posted by: eman at November 21, 2010 01:50 PM (CbwqF)
I'm not!
I'm just not!
There is no such thing as, Ace of Spades without Ace and the cobloggers!
I don't care how well crafted or teh funneh, the posts put up by these substitute teachers are!
It's not the same!
I'm a fucking moron, in good standing!
And as such, I will stamp my tiny feet and hold my breath until I get some fucking attention or die of asphyxiation!
(I'm betting on dying of asphyxiation BTW. The only real reason I stamp my tiny feet is 'cos I know how hard it is to hold your breath until you die, without some aerobic activity.)
Posted by: Deety stampimg her feet at November 21, 2010 02:22 PM (Jb3+B)
So you've turned into a liberal, Deety? Perish the thought!
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at November 21, 2010 02:24 PM (9hSKh)
A beer snack. For panda seals & huboons.
Posted by: Dr. Varno at November 21, 2010 04:02 PM (IKo9J)
********************************
And what am I?
A potted pepul tree?
Posted by: Charlie Basmati at November 21, 2010 02:30 PM (UIqfz)
Posted by: Purity Of Essence at November 21, 2010 02:43 PM (P1vpT)
As if anyone cares.
Posted by: Nemo from Erewhon at November 21, 2010 03:06 PM (0OLb8)
Nah.
I just recognize the 4 year old that animates me, for what it is.
A fucking 4 year old!
I'm hard-core conservative insofar as I realize the possibility that there might be other 4 year olds, like myself, who may have magically matured enough to get their mitts on some real power.
So-con, Fi-con.,Sec-con , whatever...
To be truly conservative, you have to be a bit misanthropic, I'm afraid.
We are all imperfect.
That's a fact, jack!
So... now what do we do?
Which particular fucking 4 year old do we send to D.C.
this cycle, in this district ?
Posted by: Deety stampimg her feet at November 21, 2010 03:12 PM (Jb3+B)
Posted by: **** at November 21, 2010 04:33 PM (MIaPf)
Nah.
Keep bucking the "social contract" all you want, laddie but pass that bong around a bit quicker and do our boys at the DEA a favor, would you?
Posted by: Interpol at November 21, 2010 05:12 PM (Jb3+B)
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Posted by: The War Between the Undead States at November 21, 2010 09:59 AM (Y5XF1)