March 03, 2010
— Ace I don't know what "ready to" means, or how the National Enquirer would know such a thing with any level of certainty. I mean, sure, I suppose they can get a grand juror or two to illegally leak the jury's mood, I suppose. But that's just the report of a guy or two about what he thinks the other jurors are thinking.
Of course, their reporting is almost always right.
The ultimate fall from grace, a Federal grand jury is about to indict John Edwards, The ENQUIRER has learned exclusively.In another shocker, close sources say Edwards' estranged wife Elizabeth could help send the former presidential candidate to jail!
Edwards, the disgraced two-time Presidential loser, is being investigated by the feds, including the FBI and IRS, for possible campaign violations related to paying his mistress Rielle Hunter.
The grand jury has been meeting since April 2009, and insiders say an indictment is imminent.
"John is terrified that he's going to be indicted," a friend told The ENQUIRER
Posted by: Ace at
12:45 PM
| Comments (137)
Post contains 189 words, total size 1 kb.
Posted by: Navin R Johnson at March 03, 2010 12:47 PM (HpT9p)
Posted by: HeatherRadish at March 03, 2010 12:47 PM (mR7mk)
Posted by: NJConservative at March 03, 2010 12:49 PM (/Ywwg)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 03, 2010 12:49 PM (UOM48)
Posted by: Dr. Spank at March 03, 2010 12:50 PM (0FiCa)
Posted by: Bubba, checkin' out the merchandise at March 03, 2010 12:50 PM (RD7QR)
In one John Edward's fucks around on his dying wife.
In the other John Edward's is the fuck toy of a guy name Big Bart.
Posted by: DrewM. at March 03, 2010 12:50 PM (9B5OK)
You didn't ask, but my advice John, bring LOTS of personal lubricant. Just saying.
Posted by: The Chicken at March 03, 2010 12:51 PM (wOGfT)
Posted by: Frank G at March 03, 2010 12:51 PM (4X0aT)
5. Prisons Have a Relatively Low Carbon Footprint
4. Inexpensive Haircuts
3. Waterless Toilets
2. Spending Quality Time With Other Sons-of-Millworkers
1. He'll Get To Be The Wife For A While
Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 03, 2010 12:51 PM (ruzrP)
Posted by: nevergiveup at March 03, 2010 12:51 PM (0GFWk)
Now in the hour of our Discontent.......
Posted by: SantaRosaStan at March 03, 2010 12:51 PM (JrRME)
Posted by: Bubba's former cellmate at March 03, 2010 12:51 PM (y5VNb)
I thought cute lawyer democrats who use junk science and talk of "two Americas" whilst living in a sprawling mansion - were above the law?
I is confused.
Posted by: Lemon Kitten at March 03, 2010 12:52 PM (0fzsA)
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at March 03, 2010 12:52 PM (I/MqP)
.
Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 03, 2010 12:52 PM (ruzrP)
Posted by: Biblio at March 03, 2010 12:53 PM (y5VNb)
Posted by: Biblio at March 03, 2010 12:54 PM (y5VNb)
Apparently, hell hath no fury like a cancerous, vindictive bitch scorned.
Posted by: huerfano at March 03, 2010 12:54 PM (gLSaO)
Posted by: Bubba at March 03, 2010 12:54 PM (RD7QR)
Posted by: SantaRosaStan at March 03, 2010 12:55 PM (JrRME)
Posted by: George Orwell at March 03, 2010 12:55 PM (AZGON)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 03, 2010 12:55 PM (UOM48)
Bubba: Welcome to the cellblock, John. You wanna be the Mama or the Daddy?
John: The Daddy, of course.
Bubba: All right. Come over here and suck your wife's dick.
Posted by: huerfano at March 03, 2010 12:57 PM (gLSaO)
Hmmm... seems like Elizabeth might be on the short list for leaking the news. Scorned woman and all.
Posted by: Guy Fawkes at March 03, 2010 12:57 PM (cpuvG)
(Ok, fine)
So John Edwards walks into his new cell to meet his cell mate Bubba. John had heard all about what happens in these prisons, so he was Rielle scared. Bubba roused from his nap, sees his new cellmate.
Bubba: Hmmm., you're John, huh?
Edwards: Ummm, yes sir.
B: Well, I will give you a choice just like I give all my new roomies a choice. You can either be my husband, or my wife.
John thinks about it for a little bit. If I'm the wife, that means I'll be taking it from Bubba. If I'm the husband, I'll be giving it to him. If I close my eyes, I can imagine it's a girl, and that won't be too bad.
E: Ok Bubba sir, I will be the husband.
B: Fine with me. Now come over here and suck your wife's dick.
Posted by: CUS at March 03, 2010 12:59 PM (wOGfT)
Posted by: Hector & Omar at March 03, 2010 12:59 PM (LEynS)
Posted by: Ray "The Rapist" Johnson at March 03, 2010 12:59 PM (0FiCa)
Posted by: Ira at March 03, 2010 01:00 PM (bJm7W)
here's my key take:
Should Edwards be convicted of the alleged criminal violations, Edwards would become the first Presidential or Vice Presidential nominee of either the Democrats or Republicans to serve jail time in modern American history, if ever.
Posted by: AHFF Geoff at March 03, 2010 01:00 PM (f0t8F)
Posted by: Convicted Ham Sandwich at March 03, 2010 01:00 PM (QKKT0)
Posted by: Guy Fawkes at March 03, 2010 01:02 PM (cpuvG)
Posted by: Just Ray at March 03, 2010 01:02 PM (0FiCa)
#43 Guy Fawkes was a catholic terrorist.You sack of shit.
Posted by: roger at March 03, 2010 01:03 PM (Rx5UA)
We remember Roger. When we got done with him, we sold him for a pack of smokes. Good times.
Posted by: Hector & Omar at March 03, 2010 01:03 PM (LEynS)
Suck it Roger
Posted by: Joy to the whirled at March 03, 2010 01:03 PM (WVBjj)
mah house is on youtube
(search mansion of fraud John Edwards)
ah'll use mah senatorial influence to score a house arrest
Posted by: mah daddeh worked at a mill at March 03, 2010 01:05 PM (+FkcS)
Posted by: Guy Fawkes at March 03, 2010 01:05 PM (cpuvG)
Posted by: roger at March 03, 2010 01:05 PM (Rx5UA)
Posted by: Joy to the whirled at March 03, 2010 01:06 PM (WVBjj)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 03, 2010 01:07 PM (UOM48)
#56 Says a guy with a handle of 'Guy Fawkes.You fucking idiot.
Posted by: roger at March 03, 2010 01:07 PM (Rx5UA)
Posted by: Guy Fawkes at March 03, 2010 01:07 PM (cpuvG)
However, on a more serious note, is it possible that Edwards might have been rumored to be considering a run for the presidency in 2012? Well, now that is off the table isn't it? Gee, now who else among the challengers who didn't join the administration should we be watching?
Oh and what this SEIU guy said, in audio from Beck, is downright scary. He wants a return on his "political investment in the pres". Wow...
Posted by: curious at March 03, 2010 01:08 PM (p302b)
Posted by: gomm at March 03, 2010 01:08 PM (Ibk1S)
Posted by: John Edwards at March 03, 2010 01:08 PM (AZGON)
Very witty.Oscar Wilde must be turning in his grave.
When I saw Roger's wonderful comment at 38, I thought Dorothy Parker must have returned to life.
Posted by: Cicero at March 03, 2010 01:08 PM (QKKT0)
Posted by: huerfano at March 03, 2010 01:09 PM (gLSaO)
Posted by: Guy Fawkes at March 03, 2010 01:09 PM (cpuvG)
I mean, sure, I suppose they can get a grand juror or two to illegally leak the jury's mood, I suppose.
I suspect that it is more likely a political hack of a DA.
Posted by: Vic at March 03, 2010 01:09 PM (QrA9E)
Posted by: roger at March 03, 2010 01:09 PM (Rx5UA)
Posted by: Tiger Woods at March 03, 2010 01:10 PM (AZGON)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 03, 2010 01:10 PM (UOM48)
I fixed it for you asshat!
Posted by: Joy to the whirled at March 03, 2010 01:12 PM (WVBjj)
Posted by: Guy Fawkes at March 03, 2010 01:14 PM (cpuvG)
Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at March 03, 2010 01:14 PM (YJtok)
I'll betcha, betcha, betcha that the inclusion of Elizabeth Edwards name in that report means that she's the one who clued the Enquirer in to this story.
Since Reille's the one who clued them in to the baby daddy story, isn't turnabout fair play? Gotta hand it to John - he sure does know how to pick 'em.
And I would say this is just big talk from Elizabeth - but she's just the right combination of crazy and nasty and smart to have kept copies of all kinds of financial documents from the campaign. Probably put them together for the pending divorce. Combine a Grand Jury, financial records, and a Mad Woman and you get the perfect shitstorm for the perfect silky pony boy.
Reminds me of that old Chris Rock video, "How to get your ass kicked by the cops." One of the ways is just to be around the cops and the Mad Woman at the same time. You don't have to do nothin' at all, the Mad Woman is gonna make SURE that you get your ass kicked one way or the other.
Posted by: Tom Servo at March 03, 2010 01:15 PM (T1boi)
So if John Edwards and Roger were sharing a cell for 5 to 10, who get "rogered" more often?
Trick question. We'd stretch them both out, and after the fun had dissipated, we'd sell 'em for 2 packs of smokes, plus a vintage '87 Hustler.
Posted by: Hector & Omar at March 03, 2010 01:16 PM (LEynS)
Posted by: Rock Hardington at March 03, 2010 01:18 PM (0FiCa)
Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 03, 2010 01:19 PM (1Jaio)
At my last job, the only Edwards supporter among the employees was also the guy who literally destroyed the company after it was sold.....all because he didn't get a bonus as part of the sale.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at March 03, 2010 01:21 PM (I/MqP)
There are two America's...
In one John Edward's fucks around on his dying wife.
In the other John Edward's is the fuck toy of a guy name Big Bart.
Well, actually there's like 4: The two aforementioned, the one where Edwards is effing his skankho mistress, and the one where Edwards (had he been elected Pres or VP) or appointed AG would be effing America. It's funny, but I watched Oprah a few days ago when she had Andrew Young on. And she was pissed off at John Edwards--I think Teh Bamster was contemplating appointing Edwards to something (although that Game Change book denies it), and Oprah was pissed because her "clean as the driven snow" boy would have been tainted by association--it was probably that close.
Posted by: runningrn at March 03, 2010 01:21 PM (CfmlF)
Posted by: runningrn at March 03, 2010 01:22 PM (CfmlF)
Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at March 03, 2010 01:26 PM (YJtok)
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at March 03, 2010 01:26 PM (I/MqP)
"John is terrified that he's going to be indicted," a friend told The ENQUIRER
It really would be cool if this jerkwad actually had to do some time (although I don't think it will be likely--what with all the children and mother dying of cancer and all). I don't think he'd do well in prison, even the "country club" one he would end up going to if sentenced. He is a man who has lived a soft, cushy life.
Posted by: runningrn at March 03, 2010 01:28 PM (CfmlF)
Posted by: ginaswo/MiM at March 03, 2010 01:29 PM (JpIZT)
Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at March 03, 2010 01:29 PM (YJtok)
Posted by: Guy Fawkes at March 03, 2010 01:29 PM (cpuvG)
Posted by: dagny at March 03, 2010 01:32 PM (g6POu)
We sure dodged a bullet with that Palin chick huh?
Posted by: Typical sub 50iq'er lefty at March 03, 2010 01:32 PM (9vQ7f)
I don't call wimmen the B word well, because I'm a Grunt. But if she really does he'll hear about it in prison I think the same as you tho'.
Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at March 03, 2010 01:34 PM (YJtok)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 03, 2010 01:34 PM (UOM48)
Posted by: kcs at March 03, 2010 01:39 PM (CrJzY)
Ry-Lee was kinda hot, though
Huh?
Posted by: polynikes at March 03, 2010 04:58 PM (m2CN7)
His mistress: Rielle Hunter, pronounced Ry-lee. You must not know anything about mistresses of John Edwards named Rielle
Posted by: SantaRosaStan at March 03, 2010 01:42 PM (JrRME)
Posted by: billygoat at March 03, 2010 01:43 PM (5qJM5)
Posted by: Sort-of-Mad Max at March 03, 2010 01:43 PM (ERJIu)
In early April 2007, Edwards was informed that her cancer may be treatable with anti-estrogen drugs. "I consider that a good sign. It means there are more medications to which I can expect to be responsive," she told the Associated Press during a campaign stop with her husband in Cedar Rapids, Iowa.[22]
Posted by: SantaRosaStan at March 03, 2010 01:45 PM (JrRME)
Posted by: elliot at March 03, 2010 01:46 PM (GxjUG)
I guess I have a funny accent.
Posted by: NJConservative at March 03, 2010 01:47 PM (/Ywwg)
My husband, John, screwed around with a skank and has a kid by her. Any thoughts?
Regards,
Liz
Posted by: Elizabeth "Hell Hath no Fury" Edwards at March 03, 2010 01:50 PM (UOM48)
Posted by: Tom Servo at March 03, 2010 01:55 PM (T1boi)
Posted by: dagny at March 03, 2010 05:32 PM (g6POu)
Well, OK, if you insist...you're a bitch. But that must make me one, too, because I had the same thought.
Posted by: antisocialist at March 03, 2010 01:56 PM (Rwudm)
Posted by: Frank G at March 03, 2010 01:59 PM (4X0aT)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 03, 2010 02:00 PM (UOM48)
I guess I have a funny accent.
Posted by: NJConservative at March 03, 2010 05:47 PM (/Ywwg)
Alternate pronunciation - "skank princess".
Posted by: antisocialist at March 03, 2010 02:00 PM (Rwudm)
On that same note, in her previous bout with the Big C, did anyone photograph her when she was going through chemo/radiation? Assuming she had either of those treatments, the hair loss thing would have been obvious.
Hell, look at Carly Fiorina right now. Or Arlen Specter a few years back, just to name a couple of examples.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at March 03, 2010 02:04 PM (I/MqP)
Oh, THAT John Edwards?
The John Edwards who ran for VP with Kerry and then mounted a presidential run four years later stressing what a great family man he was and how his wife's terminal cancer and dead son were reasons to suppport his candidacy?
The John Edwards who lived in a 28,000 sq ft house built on the proceeds of specious malpractice lawsuitsthat chased virtually every OB/GYN out of the state?
The John Edwards who knocked up his mistress, repeatedly denied paternity and disowned his love-child to the point of paying an aide to falsely claim fathering the baby?
Nope, never heard of him....
Posted by: Charlie Gibson at March 03, 2010 02:12 PM (waiSQ)
It's a bit of a giggle to think about how so many folks are going to be amazed that this guy, who they were sure only wanted to be Their Personal Saviour, is suddenly charged with a Federal crime. When you choose to live behind the media filter, life can be confusing that way.
Well, it helps to be stupid, too.
Posted by: sherlock at March 03, 2010 02:13 PM (fKPuo)
Posted by: Antimatter at March 03, 2010 02:19 PM (gbCNS)
If so, please disregard. If not, a charge for that wouldn't bother me a bit. And I'd say the same thing if it was anyone, left or right, doing that.
Posted by: Christoph at March 03, 2010 02:22 PM (0fq7b)
Posted by: dagny at March 03, 2010 05:32 PM (g6POu)
I've never believed her for a second. She's been as big a conniving scrunt as Muffer Stalin-Rodham and was probably diagnosed by one of Silky's "expert witnesses" who will tart things up for a dumbfuck jury; or in this case the MSM.
Posted by: Captain Hate at March 03, 2010 02:41 PM (ypGDY)
Posted by: snafu at March 03, 2010 02:42 PM (8d28r)
Posted by: d_fitz at March 03, 2010 02:46 PM (heJkD)
I would like to find a record of Dems vs R's of Mayor's, Governors, Senators and Representatives that have gone to prison. I think it would make interesting reading. I googled it but couldn't find one. Might be an interesting research project for someone with the know how. (Followed by obligatory) Just Sayin.
Posted by: Ohio Dan at March 03, 2010 02:49 PM (rurh0)
I wouldn't discount them because they're the Enquirer. It seems that the stories that come from them regarding highly public figures have been accurate too many times.
They'll pick up the 'news' that other papers won't (or actively attempt to bury a'la the NYT or WaPost.
Posted by: lemosley at March 03, 2010 03:12 PM (7P8hm)
Posted by: arhooley at March 03, 2010 03:39 PM (2zkIP)
I used to think I was so smart because I knew that it was pronounced Ry-lee, but I saw a clip of her saying Ree-elle. Although it wouldn't surprise me if the pronunciation of it evolved. She's a highly evolved spirit after all.
Posted by: arhooley at March 03, 2010 03:45 PM (2zkIP)
Well they did have two ki -- oh, I see what you mean.
Posted by: arhooley at March 03, 2010 03:46 PM (2zkIP)
Oh come on now! What the hell has happened to the Republic if a politican can't pay for his hookers with his own money....
sheesh!
Posted by: torabora at March 03, 2010 03:53 PM (U4QtB)
"National Enquirer: Grand Jury "Ready" to Indict John Edwards?"
So how about getting me some of that insurance and lawyer money back so I can open my damn business again???
Posted by: Another out of business NC ob-gyn doc at March 03, 2010 03:53 PM (bFukt)
I don't know what "ready to" means, or how the National Enquirer would know such a thing with any level of certainty. I mean, sure, I suppose they can get a grand juror or two to illegally leak the jury's mood, I suppose. But that's just the report of a guy or two about what he thinks the other jurors are thinking.
This is too precious by half. The grand jury will indict whoever the DA leads them to indict. And it's not like prosecutorial leaks are unprecedented or anything. Occam's razor, morons.
Posted by: Dave R. at March 03, 2010 03:56 PM (LMn96)
Posted by: CUS at March 03, 2010 04:59 PM (wOGfT)
I heard it a little different, but hopefully Edwards will experience it one way or the other...IYKWIMAITYD
Bubba: OK Johnny lawyer-man...do you wants to be the Poppa or the Momma?
John Edwards: Oh I'll be the Poppa.
Bubba: OK Poppa, come on over here and suck on Momma's dick.
Posted by: NC Ref at March 03, 2010 03:58 PM (bFukt)
My husband, John, screwed around with a skank and has a kid by her. Any thoughts?
Regards,
Liz
Posted by: Elizabeth "Hell Hath no Fury" Edwards at March 03, 2010 05:50 PM (UOM4
Liz...you are going to have some fun. First prep them with a screaming match while spraying them with gasoline. Then shoot them with a light load of rock salt in your shotgun. While they are screaming set them on fire.
Easy peasy.
Posted by: Dr. Amy Bishop at March 03, 2010 04:01 PM (U4QtB)
Posted by: Anonymous John Edwards at March 03, 2010 04:49 PM (4kdHL)
Posted by: grizzlybare at March 04, 2010 09:25 AM (V5kav)
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Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 03, 2010 12:46 PM (UOM48)