Ace of Spades HQ

February 10, 2010

National Enquirer: Senator Happy-Pants Proposes to Reille Hunter?
— Ace

Well, he does have a daughter by her.

John Edwards has proposed to his mistress Rielle Hunter, and is buying a luxury $3.5 million beachfront home where they can live happily ever after with their love child, The ENQUIRER has learned exclusively.
The disgraced presidential candidate popped the question at the same time he told Rielle that he'd be issuing a press statement finally confirming he fathered her daughter Frances Quinn, close sources told The ENQUIRER.
Edwards, 56, released that statement on Jan. 21, and just six days later a spokesperson for his cancer-stricken wife Elizabeth confirmed the couple had legally separated after 32 years of marriage. Sources say they expect to be officially divorced within a year, paving the way for the ex-senator to make Rielle, 45, his wife.

Why didn't you come to me like a f*cking man and tell me not to propose to my babymama until after 1) I'm actually divorced or 2) the wife I've been cheating on has succumbed to her terminal cancer?

This is just the perfect storybook feel-good Valentine's Day story, isn't it?

No?

Racist teabagging sons-a-bitches.

Posted by: Ace at 08:33 AM | Comments (71)
Post contains 204 words, total size 1 kb.

1
I'm not buying it.

Posted by: This is Carlton, the doorman at February 10, 2010 08:34 AM (z37MR)

2 turd

Posted by: Zimriel at February 10, 2010 08:34 AM (9Sbz+)

3 What a scumbag.

Posted by: Holger at February 10, 2010 08:34 AM (8NGHm)

4 "Shame? Never heard of it." Charlie Gibson

Posted by: Hussein the Plumber at February 10, 2010 08:34 AM (r1h5M)

5 Wow.

White trash theater.

Can't wait until WE or Bravo gives them a reality show.

Posted by: shibumi at February 10, 2010 08:34 AM (OKZrE)

6 Isn't his ex schilling a book right now...these two never miss an opportunity to cash in on their 'trauma'.

Posted by: Garrett at February 10, 2010 08:35 AM (g7d9l)

7
John Edwards is most likely to propose to...

...

John Edwards.

Posted by: This is Carlton, the doorman at February 10, 2010 08:35 AM (z37MR)

I'm not doctor, but Terminal Cancer doesn't seem to mean what I thought it meant. I always assumed Terminal Cancer meant you were going to die soon.

Elizabeth Edwards must have the same kind of Terminal Cancer that the Lockerbie Bomber had.

Posted by: Ben at February 10, 2010 08:36 AM (wuv1c)

9 This guy just oozes class...like a 4 week old bloated rotting corpse oozes slime and bugs.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at February 10, 2010 08:36 AM (pxxVS)

10 Never waste a crisis.

Posted by: Houdini's Cadaver at February 10, 2010 08:36 AM (nz654)

11 It's just too bad he didn't get elected President.

Posted by: FUBAR at February 10, 2010 08:37 AM (1fanL)

12
What would you rather have?

a) a Congress full of hamsters
b) a Congress full of fruit bats
c) a Congress full of fucking chimps

Posted by: This is Carlton, the doorman at February 10, 2010 08:38 AM (z37MR)

13 His wife isn't even dead yet but he sure is acting like it.

Posted by: Holger at February 10, 2010 08:38 AM (8NGHm)

14 FYI: We loved "why don't you straw poll me like a fucking man" Edwards.

http://is.gd/8638f

http://is.gd/863uR

Posted by: Daily Kos Historian at February 10, 2010 08:39 AM (+zo63)

15 Maybe Reille threatened to take him for everything he had unless he made her Wife #2 (?).

Why would she do that, you'd ask? Reille gets a pretty punching bag and a steady line of credit. Not to mention being able to snag the highest-end hair care supplies available to man!

Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at February 10, 2010 08:39 AM (otlXg)

16
OT - Is it time for another romp on the First Wookie's fat ass?

I think so.

Her ass is so big...

Posted by: Dang at February 10, 2010 08:40 AM (UA4gE)

17 Well, hello there, puddin' cup.

Posted by: First Words Out of the Mouth of Edward's New Cellmate, Bubba at February 10, 2010 08:40 AM (GwPRU)

18 I don't believe it. Edwards is far too tacky to marry his mistress.

Posted by: Dianna at February 10, 2010 08:40 AM (qrFCz)

19 Unless he's got some iron clad prenup, the cancer stricken wife gambit usually leaves you with nothing in the divorce proceedings if you've been a demonstrable scumbag. She'll put on her "victim" game face and clean him out.

Hunter better get used to living in a cardboard box under a bridge, cuz that's about all silky is going to left with.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at February 10, 2010 08:40 AM (pxxVS)

20 John Edwards channeling his daughter: "Daddy, you're a dick."

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at February 10, 2010 08:40 AM (swuwV)

21 And this guy was almost VP. The Enquirer empire would have flourished.

Posted by: toby928: paranoid enough for both of us at February 10, 2010 08:41 AM (PD1tk)

22
12
What would you rather have?

a) a Congress full of hamsters
b) a Congress full of fruit bats
c) a Congress full of fucking chimps

d) an ass full of gerbils

Posted by: Richard Gere at February 10, 2010 08:41 AM (UA4gE)

23 This man was actually in the running for President at one time. Still, as evil an SOB as he is, he probably would have done less harm to the country than Bambi.

Posted by: Vic at February 10, 2010 08:42 AM (QrA9E)

24 So he joins an elite club including Johnny Mac and Sanford. Not going to get very worked up about it.

Posted by: CyclopsJack at February 10, 2010 08:42 AM (a4o2p)

25 Unless he's got some iron clad prenup, the cancer stricken wife gambit usually leaves you with nothing in the divorce proceedings if you've been a demonstrable scumbag.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at February 10, 2010 12:40 PM (pxxVS)

Watch it, asshole. I know the slander/libel law.

Posted by: A Bag of Scum at February 10, 2010 08:42 AM (1fanL)

26 Of course he proposed to her. After Elizabeth takes everything he owns he's gonna need a place to live.

Posted by: Mal at February 10, 2010 08:43 AM (Z+qzA)

27 O/T: Ah, the libs/dems on Fox and Friends have come out of the closet. Rush just played a clip from them talking about the republicans have to go to the prez's little extravaganza cause "it's on television" and then Crystal "saying they have to go and be polite"...meanwhile back at the country, the American people want them not to go....funny crystal said the letter was silly? silly? Ugh these newsguys are gettin scared.

Posted by: curious at February 10, 2010 08:43 AM (p302b)

28 OT - Is it time for another romp on the First Wookie's fat ass?

So, what do they do with the inedible sweet potatoes harvested from the sludge garden?

BTW, that potato is huge. It's a damn shame.

Posted by: toby928: paranoid enough for both of us at February 10, 2010 08:44 AM (PD1tk)

29 OMG its just like Love Story. I'm getting a little verklempt . . .wait that's actually nausea.

Posted by: Joe at February 10, 2010 08:46 AM (YwBI6)

30 Out of the frying pan, into the fire.

Posted by: DelD at February 10, 2010 08:46 AM (eWtdM)

31 "d) an ass full of gerbils"

Hey, a spaghetti western inspiration. Can't wait.

Posted by: Sulli Leone at February 10, 2010 08:46 AM (swuwV)

32 True? Who knows.

It's the Enquirer. They actually find out stuff and check it. If this were the Times, there'd be good reason to doubt it. But the Enquirer gets the (retarded) news.

Posted by: oblig. at February 10, 2010 08:46 AM (uAqDo)

33 16
OT - Is it time for another romp on the First Wookie's fat ass?

I think so.

Her ass is so big...

Posted by: Dang at February 10, 2010 12:40 PM (UA4gE)

Her ass is so big that it has more moons in orbit around it than Saturn...

Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at February 10, 2010 08:46 AM (Vu6sl)

34 BTW, that potato is huge. It's a damn shame.

Posted by: toby928: paranoid enough for both of us at February 10, 2010 12:44 PM (PD1tk)

That's what she said...

Posted by: Michael Scott at February 10, 2010 08:47 AM (Vu6sl)

35
I am always astounded when 2nd wives that landed their beau by cheating with them on the the 1st wife are shocked aghast and amazed when their newfound marital partner cheats on them with the future Mrs Scumbag #3.

If true..... this marriage last 5 years or less.

Posted by: fixerupper at February 10, 2010 08:48 AM (J5Hcw)

36 O/T: Someone in the ONT pointed out that the little republicans are lining up like lemmings to vote for the new jobs bill. Has anyone seen the bill? Anyone? Bueller????

Posted by: curious at February 10, 2010 08:50 AM (p302b)

37 Who marries a guy who publicly denied knocking you up for two years?

Posted by: HeatherRadish at February 10, 2010 08:51 AM (mR7mk)

38 So did they send a Save The Date Card to Dave Matthews & Band?

Posted by: laceyunderalls at February 10, 2010 08:51 AM (S+YJB)

39 I don't know, the National Enquirer has become so ground-breaking in its news coverage that I'm starting to believe the Elvis sightings are real.

Posted by: agnostica at February 10, 2010 08:52 AM (gbCNS)

40 Never trust a pol. No matter how much cash you spend and loyalty you give they will bend you over like a freaky hippie whore in the end. To think I almost made this guy President of the USA. Sheesh.

Hey! Ted Kennedy how ya doing buddy?
Wow! That's gotta hurt!

Posted by: Fred Baron at February 10, 2010 08:52 AM (yguwr)

41 I have always thought that this invitation is a test. The American people want to see if the republicans after taking so much abuse all year will have "battered wife syndrome" and go back to him or grow a set and make the American people proud. I suspect whether or not they go to this little extravaganza will have an impact on the 2010 elections and beyond. A third party, if they go, might just rise up and circumvent and eclipse them.

Posted by: curious at February 10, 2010 08:52 AM (p302b)

Who marries a guy who publicly denied knocking you up for two years?

Someone that believes that she delivered a reincarnated baby Buddha and probably still believes she'll be a FLOTUS some day.

'Cauase I've got the golden ticket....

Posted by: laceyunderalls at February 10, 2010 08:55 AM (S+YJB)

43 Who marries a guy who publicly denied knocking you up for two years?

Posted by: HeatherRadish at February 10, 2010 12:51 PM (mR7mk)

Like she has choices?

Posted by: FUBAR at February 10, 2010 08:55 AM (1fanL)

44 Like she has choices?

Oh, yeah, I was working from the erroneous premise of intelligence and self-respect.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at February 10, 2010 09:01 AM (mR7mk)

Who marries a guy who publicly denied knocking you up for two years?

He also fought her on paying for their daughter's very large dental bill (the kid didn't have any health care insurance).

Posted by: runningrn at February 10, 2010 09:01 AM (CfmlF)

46 True, who knows?

Well, the National Enquirer sure seems to be doing a better job of reporting facts than the left wing media.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at February 10, 2010 09:01 AM (2sJK0)

47 Just think this scumbag was almost a heartbeat away from the Presidency. That is what the scary part was about the whole sordid affair.

Posted by: Stan25 at February 10, 2010 09:01 AM (N1Gru)

48 National Enquirer: Senator Happy-Pants "Huge Schlong in My Pants" Proposes to Reille Hunter?

Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at February 10, 2010 09:02 AM (Vu6sl)

49 And I should read more comments before I comment, I must be getting that ace disease.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at February 10, 2010 09:03 AM (2sJK0)

50 50 And I should read more comments before I comment, I must be getting that ace disease.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at February 10, 2010 01:03 PM (2sJK0)

It's ok, it happens to all of us sooner or later. It's ok, it happens to all of us sooner or later. It's ok, it happens to all of us sooner or later.

Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at February 10, 2010 09:06 AM (Vu6sl)

51 This story is competely false. The senator informs me that actually, I'm the one proposing to Rielle Hunter. This thing is bigger than all of us.

Posted by: Andrew Young at February 10, 2010 09:06 AM (fuw6p)

52 I'm looking forward to the admission from the Left that they were wrong about him being the second coming of Ghandi, FDR, and Mother Theresa all rolled into one. And that we were right about him being a soul-less, opportunistic, piece of shit who just wanted some attention.

Posted by: FUBAR at February 10, 2010 09:07 AM (1fanL)

53 This thing is bigger than all of us.

Posted by: Andrew Young at February 10, 2010 01:06 PM (fuw6p)

That's what she said...

Posted by: Michael Scott at February 10, 2010 09:07 AM (Vu6sl)

54 A douchewad like Edwards deserves an unstable whackadoodle like Rielle. I'm sure they will make each other equally miserable--a match made in purgatory.

Posted by: runningrn at February 10, 2010 09:13 AM (CfmlF)

55 FYI: We loved "why don't you straw poll me like a fucking man" Edwards.

http://is.gd/8638f

http://is.gd/863uR

Posted by: Daily Kos Historian at February 10, 2010 12:39 PM (+zo63)

Interesting, the only person approaching (and surpassing) the level of support that Edwards got was ...

Russ Feingold.

Wow.

Posted by: Jay in Ames at February 10, 2010 09:14 AM (UEEex)

56 The real loser in this sordid soap is the poor kid. A lying narcissist POS for a dad, and a whacked out, used up POS for a mom. There won't be enough therapy in the world.....

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 10, 2010 09:31 AM (UOM48)

16 - Dang, you ain't seen nothin' yet.

http://tinyurl.com/y8rhflx

Posted by: RushBabe at February 10, 2010 09:35 AM (LKkE8)

58 Whoa. Those are some greasy legs. Why, oh why doesn't she wear hose? And Michelle, hon, bubble dresses are not your friends.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 10, 2010 09:38 AM (UOM48)

59 The real loser in this sordid soap is the poor kid. A lying narcissist POS for a dad, and a whacked out, used up POS for a mom. There won't be enough therapy in the world.....

Posted by: Jane D'oh at February 10, 2010 01:31 PM (UOM4

I'd say the most humane thing they could've done was put her up for adoption, but knowing her parents, they would've sold her to the highest bidder -- with the televised rights to the auction going to the highest media bidder.

Posted by: RushBabe at February 10, 2010 09:48 AM (LKkE8)

60 Oh, dear. Who picked that dress for Mrs. Obama?!

Why does she keep picking clothes for some twiggy little slip of a girl?!

Posted by: Dianna at February 10, 2010 10:10 AM (qrFCz)

What a sterling example of the "me me me" politician. It's all about ME!!!! John Edwards' life revolves around John Edwards. Too bad he didn't have any time left over to be a real man to his wife and his own kids...

I was gonna say it's a good thing someone so outrageously in love with himself as Edwards is didn't become President. But, oh, wait...

Posted by: gbunce at February 10, 2010 10:36 AM (0enNg)

62 Oh, dear. Who picked that dress for Mrs. Obama?!

Why does she keep picking clothes for some twiggy little slip of a girl?!

Because the Wookie beliveves she is a thin little slip of a girl and its true, damnit!

/sarc

Posted by: JustWastingTime at February 10, 2010 10:41 AM (QCQK8)

63 "Ma, Ma, where's my Pa? NOT in the White House, ha ha ha!"

Posted by: Grover Cleveland at February 10, 2010 11:03 AM (g9neE)

Posted by: RushBabe at February 10, 2010 01:35 PM (LKkE

Wow! Shakira Obama--her hips don't lie! They scream every cookie, cake and chip she's ever stuffed in her jutting pie-hole.

Posted by: runningrn at February 10, 2010 11:04 AM (CfmlF)

65 North Carolina statute says you have to be physically separated from somebody for a year before you can get divorced. FWIW, it was always going to be a while before the Edwardses got divorced, whether he became engaged to Hunter or not.

North Carolina also has an interesting "alienation of affection" law that Hunter should watch out for. It means that Elizabeth could sue Rielle if she wanted to.

Posted by: Anwyn at February 10, 2010 11:39 AM (1BzHz)

66 @67 Yes, yes! Live by the lawyer, die by the lawyer. Hope she goes for it. My wife always said that Hillary's big mistake was in not physically throwing Bill out of the WH and calling for the women of the country to come to DC and back her up.

Posted by: Jeffrey Quick at February 10, 2010 11:51 AM (g9neE)

67 This rumor is easy to confirm. Just see if they booked the Dave Matthews Band yet.

Posted by: abdul at February 10, 2010 12:33 PM (oN12h)

68 Did he do it while hiding behind Haitian orphans, or is he actually back?

Posted by: DM! at February 10, 2010 12:50 PM (O0Qwy)

Elizabeth Edwards must have the same kind of Terminal Cancer that the Lockerbie Bomber had.

Posted by: Ben at February 10, 2010 12:36 PM (wuv1c)

Her diagnosis probably came from one of the quacks-on-retainer that Silky would use as an "expert witness" to gull some jury on a sham malpractice trial when he wasn't channeling dead people.

Posted by: Captain Hate at February 10, 2010 01:30 PM (ypGDY)

70 Yeah, Edwards should come out as a peyote-chewer like the rest of them, after a decent interval, of course. The secret knowledge the Mescal imparts him will mean he CAN'T FAIL as the left's <s>hairpiece</s> mouthpiece.
If he plays his cards right, that little baby of theirs will FER SUR have a career in the Congress, maybe more. Who knows?

Posted by: YoVince at February 10, 2010 04:45 PM (bDPDT)

Hopefully he doesn't brat ths crap out of her if she says no like he did his wife.

Posted by: TrickyDick at February 11, 2010 04:47 AM (bVka+)

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