Ace of Spades HQ

July 19, 2010

News You Can Use: Is Your Vagina Depressed?
— Ace

They should address the question to Barack Obama. He's got the cranky-cootch.

Really, it seems to be mostly about yeast infections, but gotta love the headline.

BTW: The next video that plays is about a veteran outfitted with the first bionic legs -- prosthetics with powered knees with sensors to detect changes in ground surfaces and adjust the way organic legs do.

Posted by: Ace at 09:55 AM | Comments (87)
Post contains 85 words, total size 1 kb.

1 First.

And no it's not. *sigh*

Posted by: Andi Sullivan at July 19, 2010 09:57 AM (jYd6r)

2 Ummmm................

Posted by: maddogg at July 19, 2010 09:58 AM (OlN4e)

3 I suppose there are a lot of young teens who are depressed because of a shortage of available vaginas.

Posted by: Vic at July 19, 2010 09:59 AM (/jbAw)

4 And I predict this thread will degenerate quickly to below ONT status.

Posted by: Vic at July 19, 2010 10:00 AM (/jbAw)

5 I suppose there are a lot of young teens who are depressed because of a shortage of available vaginas.

If you are a young teen boy, I assure you there is no shortage of available vaginas.

Posted by: CUS at July 19, 2010 10:01 AM (wOGfT)

6 OK, what exactly constitutes a happy snatch? As opposed to a depressed coochie?

Posted by: maddogg at July 19, 2010 10:01 AM (OlN4e)

7 If you were a vagina and the dirt roads were getting all the attention, you'd be depressed too. The rare double.

Posted by: alppuccino at July 19, 2010 10:02 AM (nw07T)

8 It may take a while for this post to reach the 1000 comment milestone.

Posted by: maddogg at July 19, 2010 10:03 AM (OlN4e)

Not since she divorced me.. (rimshot)

Posted by: Stuck On Stupid at July 19, 2010 10:03 AM (e8T35)

10 Will no one think of the titties??? THINK OF THE TITTIES!!!!

Posted by: gator at July 19, 2010 10:03 AM (aOKEC)

11 4 And I predict this thread will degenerate quickly to below ONT status.

Posted by: Vic at July 19, 2010 02:00 PM (/jbAw)

I believe in a happy, well satisfied vagina.

Posted by: CoolCzech at July 19, 2010 10:03 AM (Iaxlk)

12 I've got your vagina depression right here.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at July 19, 2010 10:03 AM (nWdDY)

13 I'll have what Ace is having - the coffee isn't kicking it like it should today.

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at July 19, 2010 10:04 AM (R/qRq)

14 Perhaps a massage will turn that sideways frown the other side down?

Posted by: gator at July 19, 2010 10:04 AM (aOKEC)

15 I don't know about you, but when I hear vaginas are depressed, my pecker gets sympathy symtoms.

Posted by: Hussein the Plumber at July 19, 2010 10:05 AM (RkRxq)

16 Somebody should pose this question to Chaz Johnpoon.

Posted by: maddogg at July 19, 2010 10:05 AM (OlN4e)

17 How come no one quashed this story?

If anyone looked depressed, it was the doctor!

Posted by: Dianna at July 19, 2010 10:05 AM (qrFCz)

What is the clinical term for a group of vaginas?

A gaggle of vaginas?

A herd of vaginas?

A flock of vaginas?

A pride of vaginas???

I just want to make sure we get our terminology correct before we proceed with this thread and look like a bunch of vagina-mongering fools...

Posted by: CoolCzech at July 19, 2010 10:05 AM (Iaxlk)

19 More like dumb vagina. Stop douching & sticking food items in there. Problem solved.

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at July 19, 2010 10:05 AM (HaYO4)

20 I think we need a Barry speech for this.

Posted by: Hussein the Plumber at July 19, 2010 10:06 AM (RkRxq)

21 I've got just the right quick pick-me-up for a depressed vagina IYKWIMAITYD.

Posted by: conscious, but incoherent - let her rip at July 19, 2010 10:06 AM (YVZlY)

I believe in a happy, well satisfied vagina.

Posted by: CoolCzech

Don't we all?

The problem being that people soooo disagree on getting there! It's like politics, that way.

Posted by: Dianna at July 19, 2010 10:06 AM (qrFCz)

A covey of cooches?

A bevy of beavers?

Posted by: maddogg at July 19, 2010 10:07 AM (OlN4e)

24 This is a stupid story.

Posted by: Mirthless Mammaries at July 19, 2010 10:07 AM (nWdDY)

What is the clinical term for a group of vaginas?

NOW?

Posted by: conscious, but incoherent - let her rip at July 19, 2010 10:07 AM (YVZlY)

26 If you are a young teen boy, I assure you there is no shortage of available vaginas.

I can assure you it wasn't that way in the 50s and early 60s.

Posted by: Vic at July 19, 2010 10:08 AM (/jbAw)

It's called a litter.

Litter of vaginas.

Posted by: gator at July 19, 2010 10:08 AM (aOKEC)

28 News You Can Use:

Juliet Huddy is still hotter than the motherf*cking sun. What an awesome dress.

Posted by: Waterhouse at July 19, 2010 10:08 AM (mQ8O/)

29 Sounds to me like the vaginas and the economy are in cahoots.

Posted by: Hussein the Plumber at July 19, 2010 10:08 AM (RkRxq)

At your local bookstore now:

THE DEPRESSED VAGINA MONOLUGUES

Posted by: conscious, but incoherent - let her rip at July 19, 2010 10:08 AM (YVZlY)

31 Ans we never heard of rainbow parties either. I had to Bing that one.

Posted by: Vic at July 19, 2010 10:08 AM (/jbAw)

32
Clitter for Your Vagina, it's all the rage and be the first on your block to sport a flashy taco!

Posted by: Fish at July 19, 2010 10:08 AM (v1gw3)

33 What is the clinical term for a group of vaginas?

The Democratic Party

Posted by: The Mega Independent at July 19, 2010 10:09 AM (nWdDY)

I just want to make sure we get our terminology correct before we proceed with this thread and look like a bunch of vagina-mongering fools...

Posted by: CoolCzech at July 19, 2010 02:05 PM (Iaxlk)

I'll go with A Stench of Vagina.

Posted by: CUS at July 19, 2010 10:09 AM (wOGfT)

35 too bad they didn't have a response from resident gynecologist, andrew sullivan at the end .

Posted by: taylork at July 19, 2010 10:09 AM (0Hn5w)

36 23

A covey of cooches?

A bevy of beavers?

Posted by: maddogg at July 19, 2010 02:07 PM (OlN4e)

Snatch Squad?

This is really serious... we don't want to come across as just a bunch of tools...

Posted by: CoolCzech at July 19, 2010 10:09 AM (Iaxlk)

37 He's got the cranky-cootch.

Yeah, her name's Michelle.

Posted by: nightwitch at July 19, 2010 10:10 AM (SbaLN)

38 A vanful of vaginas.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at July 19, 2010 10:10 AM (nWdDY)

39 32
Clitter for Your Vagina, it's all the rage and be the first on your block to sport a flashy taco!

Posted by: Fish at July 19, 2010 02:08 PM (v1gw3)

Umm, don't you mean "Glitter"? Or were you thinking of your gal's glit?

Posted by: CoolCzech at July 19, 2010 10:11 AM (Iaxlk)

Barry should be able to leverage this problem into some jobs he can take credit for.

Posted by: Hussein the Plumber at July 19, 2010 10:11 AM (RkRxq)

News You Can Use: Is Your Vagina Depressed?

Oh Ace. Sigh. You were doing so good today!

Posted by: Farrakhan's Bow-Tie Enforcers at July 19, 2010 10:11 AM (pLTLS)

42 Susanna Kaysen wrote a book about her problem vagina, The Camera My Mother Gave Me. Still can't believe I read the whole thing. It was a pretty ornery vagina, though.

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at July 19, 2010 10:12 AM (HaYO4)

43 If you spit up blood a few days every month, you'd be a depressed bitch, too.

Posted by: Vaginas everywhere at July 19, 2010 10:12 AM (aOKEC)

44 43 Everyone knows its a school of vaginas.

Posted by: guy with a hearing problem at July 19, 2010 02:12 PM (m2CN7)

Harvard?

Posted by: CoolCzech at July 19, 2010 10:13 AM (Iaxlk)

45
The Vagina Survey

-Submitted September 1, 2006

I am female and this is about my vagina.
My inner lips are fairly larger than the outer.I guess my colors are normal.I have never had sex before, and only masturbated once or twice.I never knew there were so many parts to a vagina.I am scared to have sex because I do not want to get judged on my vagina.I have never ejaculated.. at least I dont think.If I would change anything it would be my inner lips to not be so long.

Wow! This sounds very much like the departed Dum Dum?

Posted by: Fish at July 19, 2010 10:13 AM (v1gw3)

46 You can tell a vagina is really depressed when it bites.

Posted by: CoolCzech at July 19, 2010 10:14 AM (Iaxlk)

Be gone anti-Semitic nutjob sock!

Hey gator, can your ginahands pop some pills when they're depressed??

Posted by: laceyunderalls at July 19, 2010 10:16 AM (pLTLS)

48 45 If you spit up blood a few days every month, you'd be a depressed bitch, too.

I'm sorry, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for several days and doesn't die.

Posted by: Mr. Garrison at July 19, 2010 10:16 AM (9hSKh)

Here's the commercial:

Pussy lips distended? Annoying rash? Crabs?

Yep, you've got vaginal depression. You should try Dr. Virgils happy twat!

Posted by: Hussein the Plumber at July 19, 2010 10:16 AM (RkRxq)

50 Perhaps jamming some chocolate into me will change my mood? Maybe alcohol? I could become a drunk pussy, and that works real well for the Kennedys.

Posted by: Vaginas everywhere at July 19, 2010 10:17 AM (aOKEC)

51
Stop calling me a pussy bitches.

Posted by: Lindsey Graham at July 19, 2010 10:18 AM (v1gw3)

@48: Will somebody call Barney Frank's office and let him know that's just a hanging hemmerhoid?

Posted by: CoolCzech at July 19, 2010 10:20 AM (Iaxlk)

53
Vaginas are very private parts, and we only share them with our nearest and dearest friends..........mostly females.

Posted by: Joy Behar, Unfunny Asshole at July 19, 2010 10:20 AM (v1gw3)

54 The vagina monologues. Sat through about 10 minutes of that drivel once. I would be hard pressed to find ANYTHING in the world as stupid or pointless. It would be more worthwhile to watch roaches relieve themselves.

Posted by: maddogg at July 19, 2010 10:20 AM (OlN4e)

Posted by: laceyunderalls at July 19, 2010 02:16 PM (pLTLS)

Lacey,

I only post this because I'm a warm, caring person concerned for your well being. As a friend, let me just say that if your vagina is depressed, I do have the right tool to help...

Posted by: CoolCzech at July 19, 2010 10:21 AM (Iaxlk)

56
I wished for a vagina for Christmas, but all I got was a very large dildo.

Posted by: Ru Paul, Drag Bitch at July 19, 2010 10:21 AM (v1gw3)

Hey gator, can your ginahands pop some pills when they're depressed??

I've found that exercise keeps the seratonin levels where they should be in my 'ginahands. Much like Jessie "The Body" Ventura, my 'ginahands ain't got time to bleed.

Posted by: gator at July 19, 2010 10:23 AM (aOKEC)

58
Vaginas are my passion.

Posted by: Marina Navratilova at July 19, 2010 10:23 AM (v1gw3)

59
Fuck Marina, I herded all the good pussy.

Posted by: Billy Jean King, Pussy Hound at July 19, 2010 10:24 AM (v1gw3)

60 We'll have to inspect the depressed vaginas for possible federal code violations. We expect to take a long time. Looong time.

Posted by: DC Elite Class at July 19, 2010 10:24 AM (RD7QR)

61 My pussy gets tunnel vision.

Posted by: Girl with disoriented vagina at July 19, 2010 10:25 AM (aOKEC)

62 Yeah, your Vagina be depressed, we done cut off your clit.

The religion of peace, stoning all the ho's we can.

Allah Akbar!

Posted by: Mohammed at July 19, 2010 10:25 AM (2+9Yx)

63
I worship my vagina, and frequently shave it look like Abraham Lincoln's beard.

Posted by: Sheila Jackson Lee, Ignorant Bitch at July 19, 2010 10:25 AM (v1gw3)

64 Hmm, that you girls?

Posted by: Shrimp boat captain at July 19, 2010 10:27 AM (2+9Yx)

65 Why the long face?

Posted by: The Mega Independent at July 19, 2010 10:28 AM (nWdDY)

66
My taco never comes with hot sauce.

Posted by: Margaret Cho, Korean Kooter at July 19, 2010 10:28 AM (v1gw3)

67 8 It may take a while for this post to reach the 1000 comment milestone.

Give it an hour or two. Somehow guns will get involved.

Posted by: Shrimp boat captain at July 19, 2010 10:30 AM (2+9Yx)

68
My dick is bi polar (bear)

Posted by: ManBearGore at July 19, 2010 10:31 AM (Oxen1)

69
When I was in the movie Splash playing the part of the mermaid, they surgically stitched up my vagina so I could convincingly wear the fish fin. That's why I'm a bitchy old maid today, no cooter.

Posted by: Daryl Hannah, Hollywood Dork at July 19, 2010 10:33 AM (v1gw3)

70 Give it a protein shake.

Posted by: gator at July 19, 2010 10:33 AM (aOKEC)

Vagina tears are sad.

See what I did there?

Posted by: gator at July 19, 2010 10:33 AM (aOKEC)

72
Michelle Obama has a strange vagina, and Barack calls it the dark and cavernous abyss.

Posted by: Dr. Cleo, Jamaican Psychic at July 19, 2010 10:35 AM (v1gw3)

73
AoS moronettes don't have vaginas, they have dangerous weapons!

Posted by: Fish at July 19, 2010 10:37 AM (v1gw3)

Y'know, they have Hooter's in Alabama, they just call 'em Cooter's.

Oh, and that show, Touched by an Angel? Over there they have Touched by an Uncle.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at July 19, 2010 10:39 AM (3fiIy)

75 I know someone whose vagina is impressed.

Posted by: gator at July 19, 2010 10:42 AM (aOKEC)

76 "80 I know someone whose vagina is impressed.

Posted by: gator at July 19, 2010 02:42 PM (aOKEC) "

Me too... I impress my wife's vagina a couple of times a week...

Posted by: CoolCzech at July 19, 2010 10:49 AM (Iaxlk)

I got news for you guys, there ain't but one important part of the ba jinga.

Maybe important to you...

Posted by: spongeworthy at July 19, 2010 10:50 AM (rplL3)

Some people want to save the world. But me?

I just want to make all vaginas happy.

Posted by: Fritz at July 19, 2010 10:53 AM (GwPRU)

79 83

Some people want to save the world. But me?

I just want to make all vaginas happy.

Posted by: Fritz at July 19, 2010 02:53 PM (GwPRU)

It's a pity more women don't realize that is practically a higher calling.

Posted by: CoolCzech at July 19, 2010 10:58 AM (Iaxlk)

80 I just wanted to take this opportunity to say vajayjay.

Posted by: Opportunist at July 19, 2010 11:07 AM (gbCNS)

81 Oh, man- I cannot wait for the spambots to hit this thread!!

Posted by: DaveK at July 19, 2010 11:25 AM (boNGU)

82 I know mine is.

Posted by: jewells at July 19, 2010 11:27 AM (l/N7H)

83 Our First Female President has a depressed cooter... SHOCKER! President Obama's Daughters Are Not Her's (Possibly NSFW) ....or maybe that's an expressed cooter... Anyway it's all about the vijayjay!

Posted by: naturalfake at July 19, 2010 11:46 AM (+kzvp)

84 Headline is an old Sex and the City reference http://tiny.cc/m3x03 I guess it's like "Sports Night" for girls.

Posted by: SarahW at July 19, 2010 12:14 PM (Z4T49)

85 My vagina isn't depressed, it's suicidal.

Posted by: mpfs at July 19, 2010 12:19 PM (iYbLN)

86 If Megyn Kelly's vagina is feeling depressed, I'd like to cheer it up. Nug nug wink wink say no more

Posted by: TheQuietMan at July 19, 2010 12:26 PM (1Jaio)

87 What is the clinical term for a group of vaginas? Congress?

Posted by: cheshirecat at July 19, 2010 06:32 PM (kHbWt)

Hide Comments | Add Comment | Refresh | Top

Comments are disabled. Post is locked.

100kb generated in CPU 0.0664, elapsed 0.2292 seconds.
64 queries taking 0.1973 seconds, 215 records returned.
Powered by Minx 1.1.6c-pink.