Ace of Spades HQ

June 04, 2010

No.
— Ace

No.

No.

The Star Wars Kid just emailed me. He says, "Finally, my time in exile ends."

Update: No, seriously, the Star Wars Kid's time in exile has ended. (Thanks to Dave @ Garfield Ridge.)

Thanks to Jim.

Oh: This is old, but I'm not Tosh.0. I don't follow this stuff.

Caught this on VH-1's 40 Greatest Pranks. From what I saw (the end), well worth watching.

Here is one of the better ones. Content Warning: It ain't real, but it's pretty startling.

Posted by: Ace at 03:05 PM | Comments (123)
Post contains 85 words, total size 1 kb.

1
Oh Dear Gawd.

Posted by: Dang Straights at June 04, 2010 03:06 PM (fx8sm)

2 *rips track to CD*

Posted by: Smapty at June 04, 2010 03:07 PM (bAySe)

3 I see nothing wrong here.

Posted by: Jim in San Diego at June 04, 2010 03:07 PM (oIp16)

4 I had sex with her!

Posted by: Will Folks at June 04, 2010 03:07 PM (YVZlY)

5 I humbly admit to hitting that.

Posted by: Will Folks at June 04, 2010 03:08 PM (X2xSP)

6 4 I had sex with her!

Posted by: Will Folks at June 04, 2010 07:07 PM (YVZlY)

Me too!

Posted by: Larry Marchant at June 04, 2010 03:08 PM (YVZlY)

7 Friends don't let friends watch GLEE.

Posted by: sulla at June 04, 2010 03:08 PM (Y4/VY)

She's a Fucking Rag Head!

Posted by: Jackie Knotts at June 04, 2010 03:09 PM (YVZlY)

9

I think gunts are sexxxy.

Posted by: Dang Straights at June 04, 2010 03:09 PM (fx8sm)

10 Sweet jeebus. I've just spent the day cleaning the house, scrubbing the toilets, I come here, and see that.

Happy fuckin' Friday. Sheesh.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 04, 2010 03:10 PM (UOM48)

11 \

FEAR THE BELLY

@ :33 sec

Posted by: s'moron at June 04, 2010 03:10 PM (UaxA0)

12 4 I had sex with her! Posted by: Will Folks at June 04, 2010 07:07 PM (YVZlY) You mean "inappropriate physical contact" with her. Okay fine, you fucked her in the belly button.

Posted by: Kaitian at June 04, 2010 03:11 PM (x7KMn)

13 3 I see nothing wrong here.

I can't see anything...anymore.

And my hearing is pretty shaky at this point too. Her opening sounded like a million cats were instantly put in a blender.

/How can I still type? Well...fuck you!

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at June 04, 2010 03:11 PM (c0A3e)

um concerning the second video. something like that actually happened.

http://tinyurl.com/5ck33f

Posted by: Ben at June 04, 2010 03:12 PM (DKV43)

15 Actually, from the neck up she's way more attractive than the Wookie.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 04, 2010 03:12 PM (UOM48)

16 All part of the plan.

Posted by: somesikh at June 04, 2010 03:12 PM (OfJjx)

17 who let my sister out of the basement?

Posted by: SantaRosaStan at June 04, 2010 03:13 PM (JrRME)

18

Do No Want !

Okay, I'd hit once........but only once and on a bender.

Posted by: Blazer at June 04, 2010 03:13 PM (t72+4)

19 12 Okay fine, you fucked her in the belly button.

I had button-sex once. It was kind of nice, because Jimmah actually could fit in that depression. Unlike my other one...but that story can be elaborated on later.

Posted by: Helen Thomas at June 04, 2010 03:14 PM (c0A3e)

20 Apparently the camera now adds 80 pounds.

Posted by: Rickshaw Jack at June 04, 2010 03:14 PM (PaoSD)

21 Girlfriend needs a burkha. Or some super-duper support undergarments.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 04, 2010 03:14 PM (UOM48)

22 Jeezus.

Posted by: rdbrewer at June 04, 2010 03:15 PM (eyjmD)

23 And what's with the tat around her eyes?

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at June 04, 2010 03:15 PM (c0A3e)

24 I'd hit it. And hit it, and hit it, and hit it.......

Posted by: Joran Van der Sloot at June 04, 2010 03:15 PM (UOM48)

25 I like the cut of this girl's jib.

Posted by: Kelly Osbourne at June 04, 2010 03:15 PM (WXxKk)

26 Posted by: Helen Thomas at June 04, 2010 07:14 PM (c0A3e) I'm burning my eyes out and I still can't get that image out of Helen Thomas. Good god.....

Posted by: Kaitian at June 04, 2010 03:16 PM (x7KMn)

27 I am so filled with heterosexual id that Sacred Honor did, in fact, compel me to hit that.

Posted by: Larry Marchant at June 04, 2010 03:16 PM (66DVY)

28 Man, that Lady Gaga really let herself go.

Posted by: Ted Kennedy's Gristle Encased Head at June 04, 2010 03:18 PM (+lsX1)

29 Is Lady Gaga a pop singer or an infectious disease?

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at June 04, 2010 03:18 PM (CjCN0)

30 The crap people put on YouTube.

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at June 04, 2010 03:19 PM (c0A3e)

31 This chick could turn Tiger Woods ghey.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 04, 2010 03:19 PM (UOM48)

32 29 Is Lady Gaga a pop singer or an infectious disease?

Are they mutually exclusive? Can't she be both?

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at June 04, 2010 03:19 PM (c0A3e)

33
is that Meghan McCain?

Posted by: a concerned boo berry at June 04, 2010 03:19 PM (UUkhk)

34

Sacred Honor may compel me to give her a mushroom slap to shut her up.

Posted by: Blazer at June 04, 2010 03:20 PM (t72+4)

35 I'd hit it.

Posted by: Bill Clinton at June 04, 2010 03:20 PM (4XzsU)

36 Posted by: Helen Thomas at June 04, 2010 07:14 PM (c0A3e) Hey Helen, the Jews from the Arab countries, should they go to Poland and Germany also or just cut their throats? Inquiring minds want to know bitch.

Posted by: nevergiveup at June 04, 2010 03:21 PM (U5btG)

37 I'd hit it. Wait, she's not a Joooo, is she?

Posted by: Helen Thomas at June 04, 2010 03:21 PM (UOM48)

38 Content Warning: It ain't real, but it's pretty startling.

Whew...man good thing you warmed me up for that...for a second even though I was warned that it wasn't real I thought the guy detached his head...ev.er.ry.time.

Posted by: JavaJoe at June 04, 2010 03:21 PM (e9JZd)

39
I'm a two minutes into this awful video...do I see this chick's tits, or what?

Posted by: a concerned boo berry at June 04, 2010 03:21 PM (UUkhk)

40 The last time I saw that girl, she was cutting herself at a KMFDM concert.

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at June 04, 2010 03:22 PM (wd0Iq)

41 fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu....

there are some things you can't fucking unsee.

Posted by: Unclefacts, AoSHQ Professional Debate Team at June 04, 2010 03:22 PM (erIg9)

42 I'd hit it. Posted by: Bill Clinton at June 04, 2010 07:20 PM (4XzsU) Bill not even you would hit....oh wait you had Monica and Hilliary ha? Never mind

Posted by: nevergiveup at June 04, 2010 03:22 PM (U5btG)

43
should I be watching this in HD?

Posted by: a concerned boo berry at June 04, 2010 03:22 PM (UUkhk)

44

I wonder if this girl has an agent yet

Posted by: Phil Spector at June 04, 2010 03:22 PM (t72+4)

45 The Sikhs are responsible for the creation of that first video. She's one of their sleeper agents. The underpants gnomes told me so.

Posted by: buzzion at June 04, 2010 03:23 PM (oVQFe)

46 39 I'm a two minutes into this awful video...do I see this chick's tits, or what?

Before my eyes finally failed me, I didn't see any decadent flesh thank Gaia.

But would you really want to see those?

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at June 04, 2010 03:23 PM (c0A3e)

47
is she supposed to be zombie cat whore?

Posted by: a concerned boo berry at June 04, 2010 03:23 PM (UUkhk)

48 that was just cruel, for shame.

Posted by: willow at June 04, 2010 03:23 PM (HyUIR)

there's no denying her talent.

Posted by: Ashlee Simpson at June 04, 2010 03:23 PM (2yLj1)

50 All she needs is one Sikh to put in "the good word" for her and she'll be the next Waylon Jennings.

Posted by: Jackie Knotts at June 04, 2010 03:23 PM (66DVY)

51
mmmmm...donuts!

Posted by: Homer GaGa at June 04, 2010 03:24 PM (Oxen1)

52 Stop fucking PUNCHING DOWN!
or whatever

Posted by: dagny at June 04, 2010 03:24 PM (c5cHT)

53
this chick should be serving me pancakes at IHOP, not making stupid yootoobs

Posted by: a concerned boo berry at June 04, 2010 03:24 PM (UUkhk)

54 What a waste of bandwidth. Send her back to Germany or Poland.

Posted by: SaintGeorgeGentile at June 04, 2010 03:24 PM (/nNkJ)

55 Megyn Kelly has nothing on this chick.

*ducks empty Val-u-Rite bottles*

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 04, 2010 03:24 PM (UOM48)

56 She probably thought it was a good idea at the time.

Posted by: SlaveDog at June 04, 2010 03:24 PM (W+E+o)

57
I'm a two minutes into this awful video...do I see this chick's tits, or what?

Posted by: a concerned boo berry at June 04, 2010 07:21 PM (UUkhk)

You did see them. They were hanging out around her waistline.

Posted by: Blazer at June 04, 2010 03:24 PM (t72+4)

58 I found the perfect woman for my duet act!

Even better, she makes me look faboo!

Posted by: Justin Bieber at June 04, 2010 03:25 PM (c0A3e)

59
are you fuggin kidding me?

I didn't even get to see her fat ass.

Posted by: a concerned boo berry at June 04, 2010 03:25 PM (UUkhk)

60
That wasn't an illusion, that was real. Is that you Rahm?

Posted by: Fish at June 04, 2010 03:25 PM (v1gw3)

Can somebody 'splain to me again that stuff about how "real women" have curves?

Cuz I'll take some scrawny Victoria's Secret model over that gunt every time.

In theory, of course.

Posted by: gebrauchshund at June 04, 2010 03:26 PM (d7k0J)

62 Is that girl expecting?

Posted by: SarahW at June 04, 2010 03:26 PM (Z4T49)

63 O/T I've been poolside all day, but I do have something to add about the racist South Carolina idiot, whose behavior I do not excuse. The left is just as bad, but the world has ceased to notice them. This guy is only bad because we notice when a non-libtard does it.

Posted by: dagny at June 04, 2010 03:27 PM (c5cHT)

64 Andi Sullivan saw the video and wants to get lost in her "garden". Or something.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 04, 2010 03:27 PM (UOM48)

65 Embedded video is racist against FreeBSD (now going to start up my linux laptop, jerks).

Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at June 04, 2010 03:27 PM (wOtDN)

66 #61 There's a world of difference between "curves" and "fat ass".

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 04, 2010 03:28 PM (UOM48)

67
oh so last week I said I had a good idea for Friday nights at AoS and I forgot to say what it is...

AoS Movie Night

We somehow play a shitty movie and we set up the live blog comments and we make with teh funneh. You know, like MST3K.

Posted by: a concerned boo berry at June 04, 2010 03:28 PM (UUkhk)

68
Is that girl expecting?

Yes, a buffet dinner.

Posted by: Dang Straights at June 04, 2010 03:29 PM (fx8sm)

69
But would you really want to see those?

Yes. Of course.

I want to see all the world's tits.

Posted by: a concerned boo berry at June 04, 2010 03:29 PM (UUkhk)

70 Ooof. Too soon.

Posted by: Greyhound Canada at June 04, 2010 03:29 PM (G60Nl)

71 WTF? Over.

Posted by: dogfish at June 04, 2010 03:30 PM (9dIfg)

72 drudge has a great picture up for the helen thomas issue. i really hope it costs her her job. ( is there any way to word that without two her's in a row?)

Posted by: Ben at June 04, 2010 03:30 PM (DKV43)

73
66 #61 There's a world of difference between "curves" and "fat ass".

Not in my world.

Posted by: a concerned boo berry at June 04, 2010 03:30 PM (UUkhk)

74 This is worse than when I dressed up like my namesake and tried to make my own video of "Milkshake"..

wait, I shouldn't have said that, should I?

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at June 04, 2010 03:30 PM (c0A3e)

75 #67 Great idea. Pet Semetary is on AMC at 8:00. Not really a shitty movie, but pales in comparison to the book. The Replacements is on Bravo at 9:00. Keanu Reeves is always mock-worthy.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 04, 2010 03:31 PM (UOM48)

76 Where could I purchase one of these pseudo-Victorian blubbercoats?

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at June 04, 2010 03:32 PM (wd0Iq)

77 62 Is that girl expecting?

Expecting a million-dollar recording contract and oral sex from Lady Gaga? Yes I am.

Posted by: Chunky YouTube Sensation at June 04, 2010 03:32 PM (WXxKk)

78 Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at June 04, 2010 07:30 PM (c0A3e) *furiously searches google & youtube*

Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at June 04, 2010 03:32 PM (wOtDN)

I realize how fast videos go viral, but I swear there is cross-blog pollination between Ace of Spaces and DListed, which is pretty much the moron equivalent of gossip blogs (except a little more gay).

They currently have up "our" video of the DFW drunk doing the General Lee.

Posted by: La Mauvaise New Yorkaise at June 04, 2010 03:32 PM (KBgLc)

80 And I saw this video at DListed first....

Posted by: La Mauvaise New Yorkaise at June 04, 2010 03:33 PM (KBgLc)

81
the movie Pet Semetary was pretty boring, if I remember.

Christine sucked too.

Posted by: a concerned boo berry at June 04, 2010 03:33 PM (UUkhk)

82 Sheppy needs to go to LA and wash some pelicans. ASAP.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 04, 2010 03:34 PM (UOM48)

83 for all the jokes the morons are making, i bet their isnt one of us here who got so drunk that we woke up next to something similar to that at some point in our lives.

Posted by: Ben at June 04, 2010 03:34 PM (DKV43)

84 Paging Stanley Cup thread. Go Flyers!

Posted by: ccruse456 at June 04, 2010 03:34 PM (xcbly)

85 Yeah, Pet Semetary the movie was boring. But the book gave me nightmares.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 04, 2010 03:36 PM (UOM48)

86 i bet their isnt one of us here who got so drunk that we woke up next to something similar to that at some point in our lives. Posted by: Ben at June 04, 2010 07:34 PM (DKV43) I guess she does kinda look like two trees and a picnic bench if you squint a little.

Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at June 04, 2010 03:36 PM (wOtDN)

87 I just switched from internet explorer to fire fox. Drudge nor google will load. WTF

Posted by: dagny at June 04, 2010 03:36 PM (c5cHT)

_{They currently have up "our" video of the DFW drunk doing the General Lee.}

"Those Boys Sure Love That E-Z Pass...

y'all come back now, y'hear?"

Posted by: Waylon the Omniscient Balladeer at June 04, 2010 03:36 PM (2yLj1)

89
for all the jokes the morons are making, i bet their isnt one of us here who got so drunk that we woke up next to something similar to that at some point in our lives.

Posted by: Ben at June 04, 2010 07:34 PM (DKV43)

Worse.

Posted by: Guy who took Helen Thomas home one night but refuses to divulge it due to Sacred Honor at June 04, 2010 03:36 PM (t72+4)

_{Paging Stanley Cup thread. Go Flyers!}

That City Smells Like Cheesesteaks!

Posted by: Angela at June 04, 2010 03:37 PM (2yLj1)

91 #83 Ben, plenty of times. Thankfully, I never You-tubed myself. Nor did anyone else (or they'd be hunted down and killed).

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 04, 2010 03:37 PM (UOM48)

92 Helen Thomas will probably get a medal for having a good idea. She will be promoted to WH press corpse good idea chief and will be called on by everyone everytime.

Posted by: dagny at June 04, 2010 03:38 PM (c5cHT)

93 83 for all the jokes the morons are making, i bet their isnt one of us here who got so drunk that we woke up next to something similar to that at some point in our lives.

Posted by: Ben at June 04, 2010 07:34 PM (DKV43)

I guess you never lost 'an ugliest girl in the bar' bet?

Posted by: Jim in San Diego at June 04, 2010 03:38 PM (oIp16)

94 drudge has a great picture up for the helen thomas issue. i really hope it costs her her job. ( is there any way to word that without two her's in a row?) Posted by: Ben at June 04, 2010 07:30 PM (DKV43) Fire the Fuck?

Posted by: nevergiveup at June 04, 2010 03:38 PM (U5btG)

95 3 weeks is old? 3 weeks?

Posted by: Tommy V at June 04, 2010 03:39 PM (gkc1e)

96 Contact information for Hearst Corp Helen ThomasÂ’s emplyeer. Let them know that she should be canned Hearst Corporation 300 W. 57th St. New York, NY 10019 (entrance on 8th Avenue) (212) 649-2000 If anyone is so inclined

Posted by: nevergiveup at June 04, 2010 03:39 PM (U5btG)

97 No? No Ace? This video is bringing back some memories ain't it? Funny how the mind and alcohol works. It only blacks out those memories for so long, there is an expiration date.

Posted by: 57 States at June 04, 2010 03:40 PM (UE+hB)

98 > 87 I just switched from internet explorer to fire fox. Drudge nor google will load. WTF Posted by: dagny Try Chrome. I've been using it on stuff that chokes Opera and it works on everything so far.

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at June 04, 2010 03:40 PM (CjCN0)

99 Helen Thomas is at the top of my dead pool. Robert KKK Byrd is second.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 04, 2010 03:40 PM (UOM48)

100 I hope I did not violate any rules by putting the phone number of Helen Thomas's employer down/

Posted by: nevergiveup at June 04, 2010 03:40 PM (U5btG)

101 Isn't helen thomas a jew herself? What's with the self hate thing?

Posted by: dagny at June 04, 2010 03:41 PM (c5cHT)

102 53 this chick should be serving me pancakes at IHOP, not making stupid yootoobs Posted by: a concerned boo berry at June 04, 2010 07:24 PM (UUkhk) Too late, bro. Been there, done that!

Posted by: Tiger Woods at June 04, 2010 03:41 PM (mdXLn)

103 #83 - You mean something like this?

Posted by: gebrauchshund at June 04, 2010 03:41 PM (d7k0J)

104 At last! My one true soulmate!

Posted by: Allahpundit at June 04, 2010 03:42 PM (Byh7c)

105 Ohh the dead list.....I don't even know who would be tops. How gory can the death be? Or painful?

Posted by: dagny at June 04, 2010 03:42 PM (c5cHT)

106 Hell. The One is in LA, trying to speak all "folksy" with the locals. What a pompous, fake-assed douche. And he just told us all for the one thousand fucking time he's president of the United States. Is he reminding us again, or still trying to convince himself?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 04, 2010 03:43 PM (UOM48)

107 99 Helen Thomas is at the top of my dead pool. Robert KKK Byrd is second.

Are you saying I only rank third??

Posted by: Lindsay Lohan at June 04, 2010 03:43 PM (WXxKk)

108 Arab- Lebenonese anchestory

Posted by: nevergiveup at June 04, 2010 03:44 PM (U5btG)

109

_{At last! My one true soulmate!}

_{Posted by:}_Allahpundit_{at June 04, 2010 07:42 PM (Byh7c)}

Ace. Hardest hit.

Posted by: Indiana Joe Biden at June 04, 2010 03:44 PM (2yLj1)

110 Actually, Lindsay hon, I've got Larry King above you. But just barely.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 04, 2010 03:44 PM (UOM48)

111 Face it allah, your one true soulmate is a liberal, palin hatin', beck hatin, jesus hatin' guy.

Posted by: dagny at June 04, 2010 03:44 PM (c5cHT)

112
Helen Thomas is at the top of my dead pool. Robert KKK Byrd is second.

Are you saying I only rank third??

Posted by: Lindsay Lohan at June 04, 2010 07:43 PM (WXxKk)

*ahem*

Posted by: Amy Winehouse at June 04, 2010 03:46 PM (t72+4)

113 Time to fuck the donuts

Posted by: Mbruce at June 04, 2010 03:46 PM (Fr8N6)

114

She's on the left side of the bell curve. A rare few of us can sing really well. And a rare few of us are so tone deaf that we have no idea how awful we are.

(I can't really say if she's a looker or not; guessing she isn't. Having an assistant read blog and type comments for me. Still blind from looking at Helen Thomas this afternoon. Hope it's temporary.)

Posted by: FireHorse at June 04, 2010 03:46 PM (cQyWA)

115 Whoops! Takin' off the IndyBiden puppeht!

Posted by: garrett at June 04, 2010 03:46 PM (2yLj1)

116 this chick should be serving me pancakes at IHOP

No, she should be finding my booster chair!

Posted by: Dr. Amy Bishop at June 04, 2010 03:49 PM (imD7p)

117

i bet their isnt one of us here who got so drunk that we woke up next to something similar to that at some point in our lives.

Thank God no, I haven't

Posted by: The Great Satan's Ghost at June 04, 2010 03:57 PM (RgO/G)

118 Strangely, she has a nice manicure.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at June 04, 2010 04:00 PM (RZ8pf)

119 What, so she can't sing, I am tone deaf. Naughty girls need love too, though was she having an epileptic seizure during the video?

Posted by: Penfold at June 04, 2010 04:30 PM (EdMSl)

120 Naughty girls need love too Posted by: Penfold word.

Posted by: Terry at June 04, 2010 05:47 PM (ddL+W)

121 i bet their isnt one of us here who got so drunk that we woke up next to something similar to that at some point in our lives.

The old Sunday morning wolf trap.

Posted by: one armed joe at June 04, 2010 06:57 PM (4WbTI)

122 hm... she get those leggings at NewportNews?

Posted by: Faye Kinnit at June 04, 2010 08:09 PM (l1oyw)

123 So was the commenter on the head drop guy a younger Bill on Red Eye?

Posted by: flashbazzbo, s.e. at June 04, 2010 09:06 PM (x7MwC)

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