2 Is that HW Bush in the pic, too? Holy cow, he's hawt!

Barbara wasnot too bad back then, either.  What happened?

Speaking of stupid women this segment on Glenn Beck had me in stiches at my desk today.

http://tinyurl.com/y2wytqk

Barbara was not too bad back then, either.  What happened?

Graves disease.

PGiS - You have a better explanation?  

PGiS - You have a better explanation?  

You are just daring me to come up with one aren't you?

Hey all! 

I heart that pic of the Bush family!  Remember when we used to have adults and class in the WH?  It seems sooo long ago!  Gosh I miss the Bushes!  (All of them!)

PGiS - Of course.  Mostly because we are all waiting for you to spout off something fantastic.

It's only Wednesday Tuesday and I'm all nuked out.

Where's my sheep costume?

After over-exerting and injuring myself last Tuesday, I managed to run 8 miles again tonight.

Z-Ryan, that's really impressive, but be careful!  You don't want to be hurt.  (What was your injury?)  To prevent injury, you should only increase your mileage 10% a week.  Did you find a race to do? 

Great now I have performance anxiety.

I'm gonna go with his lollipop turns bright red and he squeals like a pig.

I think its just what happens.  My advice to guys wanting to get in shape?  Go somewhere with attractive women, and run in front of them.

Watch the Eiger Sanction, young grasshopper and see the correct way to train with a woman for motivation.

Georgia Insurance Commissoner tells Kathleen Sebelius that Georgia refuses to set up a high rish insurance pool.  Just another fuck you to Obamacare.

That woman was mind-bogglingly stupid.

But with a pretty big rack. Maybe if she had a mute button or something.

Btw, I captured a huge freaking spider today. And I do mean huge. My sister took a picture of it. As soon as she gives it to me I'll show you morons. Ugh. I hate spiders. This thing was at least 2 inches long.

Hey WTR!  How's it going?  We have some really big brown furry spiders here in the PNW.  I was at the zoo on vacation, and there was actually a woman who bought a bunch of bananas from a QFC store in the area a while back which had a black widow in it.  She donated it to the Woodland Park Zoo.

The priest interrupts him.  "You missed the f*cking putt, didn't you.

Theresa, that was a good one.

Georgia Insurance Commissoner tells Kathleen Sebelius that Georgia refuses to set up a high rish insurance pool.  Just another fuck you to Obamacare.

Posted by: Fish at April 13, 2010 10:05 PM (M5t+h)

Can't remember which one I heard today, but it's either up to 18 or 20 states that are now filing suit against Hellcare.  WTH are the other 37?

This lady was testifying before the Santa Cruz city council about east coast slavery, the need for a perfect pesticide, and why food should be free.

I agree with all of that she said. Free food would be great, as would a perfect pesticide, and slavery is bad.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 13, 2010 10:05 PM (RZ8pf)

Yes, that's the one.

Actually knew a guy that did the mail order bride thing....I felt a little sorry for him when I heard he got scammed big time.

Me too.  Guy I grew up got a mail order bride from Indonesia about 15 years ago (not sure exact date but soon after they had that huge financial collapse.)  Course she was his "pen-pal"  coincidence he had female pen pals - all from countries where mail order brides come from, Indonesia, Ukraine, etc.

They got married - big church wedding.  She was from Christian minority there.  Went to the wedding and thought it was the saddest thing I had ever seen - bride barely spoke and drank only warm water the whole time and wouldn't eat.  Turns out she's college educated former banker who lost her job and married a big, fat loser here.  They're still married - although I think the relationship is more like brother/sister than anything else - like Henry VIII and Anne of Cleves.  They had a daughter who's about 10 now.  She's back into banking and he's Mr. Mom.  strange.  The wife is very close to the mother-in-law and her family has been to visit several times.  Still very, very strange.  He just picked her out of a brochure for crying out loud! 

Democrat blow-out. Deutch won by something like 20 points.

Dammit. (but thanks)

What was wrong with that theory Z Ryan? You got a better one for what happens when Steven Seagal is aroused?

The Penis Hokey Pokey maybe?

I recall Clint Eastwood's ass.

Yep. That's the one I was thinking of!

What was wrong with that theory Z Ryan? You got a better one for what happens when Steven Seagal is aroused?

The Penis Hokey Pokey maybe?

Yeah, you need to be careful.  You also should do a couple of days of cross training to prevent injury.  You really need to find a race.  I bet you would be ready for a 5k early this summer, and a 10k by later in the summer.  I even think it would be possible for you to do a late fall half marathon.  Check out runnersworld.com for training programs and injury prevention tips. 

Clint gets to train to climb the Eiger so he can kill a so-called assasin that is on the climbing team. Jack Cassady plays this weird homosexual turncoat agent Miles Mellow) that Clint also gets to kill by leaving him out in the desert.

When the cute Asian chick that is training Clint to get back into climbing shape (per Count de Monet) tries to kill Clint (Miles Mellow put her up to it), George Kennedy (George, big dumb George) asks Clint what he is going to do:

"Somthing massive"

The music on the video game “Raving Rabbits Go Home” is quite an eclectic mix and fairly entertaining.

Stupid??!!

She did all that without a teleprompter!!

 Wait, I have another one, maybe his tallywhacker dances the macarena when he's aroused.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle

Just love the discriptor tallywhacker.  My father used that term with myself and my brother. He could use the term in front of mother without being rude or crude. 

Hi, runningrn! I'm doing all right. How's it going for you?

WTR, I'm doing well, thanks!  Even though our big brown furry spider wear smoking jackets and drink martinis, at least they aren't poisonous!  Black widow spiders in your backyard?  Yikes!  Do they ever get in your house?

You 'nettes have spiders.  Here in central VA, it's snake season

Yech - I hate bugs and snakes.  Thank God the worst bug I've had to deal with at home was a carpenter ant!  Now pesky mammals and birds I can handle - aggressive wild turkeys, rabid foxes, racoons and coyotes, etc. but keep the insects away from me~

ThatÂ’s not what the woman who filed the lawsuit said Mr. Seagal. She said she could prove you assaulted her by revealing your unique physiological reaction to arousal.

By the way, got any more job openings?

Just don't fly with the snakes.  On a plane.

I heard they really upset Samuel Jackson.

 revealing your unique physiological reaction to arousal

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 13, 2010 10:19 PM (RZ8pf)

So how will the prosecution present this in court?

runningrn, actually donÂ’t the hobo spiders around here give a nasty bite? Not the same class as the black widow or the brown recluse, but not the nicest thing to endure either. But I can never remember if itÂ’s the hobo or the wolf spider.

I wouldnÂ’t let my neighbor kill a spider that was in the box where the switch for my pool cover is, he took it out and put it down at the end of my very large yard. The next day the spider was back in the box. It didnÂ’t get a 2^nd chance.

 revealing your unique physiological reaction to arousal

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 13, 2010 10:19 PM (RZ8pf)

So how will the prosecution present this in court?

 Posted by: Fish

Logproff and PGIS!  How are you guys?

I am DVRing Glee, looking forward to a new season.  Sue Sylvester is my favorite character.  She's sooo deliciously evil!

But the black widows just keep coming back...

I'm sure that's a direct result of global warming.  ha!

So how will the prosecution present this in court?

What did Johnny Cochrane say?  If the glove don't fit you must acquit" or something?  Hmm

Also that stupid lady video... did anyone else notice it was filmed in the year 2008?  So it is totally George W. Bush's fault that she is so stupid because, like, he was President in 2008.

Posted by: runningrn at April 13, 2010 10:23 PM (CfmlF)

She's the best part of that show.

If I see a scorpion it gets terminated with extreme prejudice.

Thankfully we donÂ’t have those here. Except for the pet one that my old boss got for his son. WTF?

108/113

The worst had to be after Hurricane Isabel a few years ago.  Our area has lots of oak trees, and the morning after, all the neighbors were helping each other clean up all the leaves and debris from adjoining yards.  My neighbor's wife was picking up the leaf piles the guys raked and putting them onto Mr. RB's truck.  When they unloaded the truck in an empty lot, the guys found a copperhead in it.  They figure the wife picked it up with a bunch of leaves. 

I looove that smirk!  (It drives leftards absolutely nuts--like they aren't unhinged enough already!)

Ha! Ha!  Speaking of knuckleballers and baseball, it is entertaining watching my husband play it on the Wii right now.  Oh, and since I'm in touch with my inner James Joyce and going all stream of consciousness right now, Breyers Triple Chocolate ice cream is pretty darn good (and I don't normally like chocolate ice cream!)

Russian brides only seem cheaper. Time you factor in the dental work to bring 'em up to Western standards, it's a wash.

True -- I heard it from a dentist.

When they unloaded the truck in an empty lot, the guys found a copperhead in it.  They figure the wife picked it up with a bunch of leaves. 

Note to self, do not help clean up yard debris after the next hurricane!!!

"food is free, well, you have to pay the farmers ... but food is free so we should sell it at the farmer's market"

sweet deal, I know an easy lay now.

j/k

Posted by: SantaRosaStan at April 13, 2010 10:27 PM (JrRME)

I just started watching it last weekend.  The old man cracks me up.

Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at April 13, 2010 09:51 PM (yfJ6g)

Surely you've heard of the Homestead Act from the ~1850s.  I'm pretty sure there still is free land, in Montana and Wyoming anyway, if you can provide a convincing strategery for paying the property taxes.

131

I love Pawn Stars. (Unfortunately, my kids do too, though I don't think it's appropos for their ages!)  I just went looking at AMC to see the premiere date for Mad Men.  It's not listed, but I did find this promising tidbit for tomorrow morning:

9:15 am The Three StoogesCurly enters a state-fair milking contest.

9:45 am The Three StoogesThe boys are mistaken for interior designers

Wonder how I missed those?

runningrn, actually donÂ’t the hobo spiders around here give a nasty bite? Not the same class as the black widow or the brown recluse, but not the nicest thing to endure either. But I can never remember if itÂ’s the hobo or the wolf spider.

I wouldnÂ’t let my neighbor kill a spider that was in the box where the switch for my pool cover is, he took it out and put it down at the end of my very large yard. The next day the spider was back in the box. It didnÂ’t get a 2^nd chance.

I believe we have mostly wolf spiders which are harmless, and yeah, the hobos are bad (funny that!)  I guess it's true, the only good hobo is a dead hobo--ha!  And yeah, if it's really big and scary, then as the dude in Karate Kid said "No Mercy, sweep the leg(s)"!

She can't knuckle ball her way through the whole game either -- what about her other pitches?

Maybe she can be a set-up man?

I just started watching it last weekend.  The old man cracks me up.

Posted by: tdpwells at April 13, 2010 10:29 PM (Ei3oZ)

If you have Comcast the old episodes are available 'on demand'

Maybe she can be a set-up man?

Don't a lot of closers have knuckleballs? 

Posted by: PaleRider at April 13, 2010 10:29 PM (dkExz)

My understanding is that the Navy guys like girly stuff.  Goes well with their faggoty whites.

That's another thing. Who the fuck writes their memoirs at age 32?!

Some skanky lingerie model in England has already published 2 autobiographies and she can't be more than 30.  Jordan/Katie Price.  Obama's in good company I guess!!!  Love reading the UK's Daily Mail online - like the National Enquirer only way better and with stuff about England and shit.

Posted by: Richard Romano at April 13, 2010 10:30 PM (jlgjV)

Why can't she?  Tim Wakefield did.  Unless you count a 75 mph fastball.

Don't a lot of closers have knuckleballs? 

Posted by: runningrn at April 13, 2010 10:33 PM (CfmlF)

No.  They need good control, which knuckleballers don't have.

Posted by: Fortunate Son at April 13, 2010 10:35 PM (trlZM)

In the 'season opener' they admitted to being a couple.  They don't flaunt it, which is cool, but it's not exactly Top Secret

Jim Stafford's use of Spiders and Snakes in romancing a girl.

I love Pawn Stars when the seller absolutely, positively, and without reservation is convinced his irreplaceable item is worth a great deal of money, and if only the pawn guy could recognize it's worth he would grab the cash and be on his way.

In most instances his beautiful 15th century Ming Dynasty Vase he purchased at auction for $900 is less than described.  It has the correct hallmarks, but was hand made in Taiwan in 1998 by a young prostitute supplementing her flat-backing income. 

My understanding is that the Navy guys like girly stuff.  Goes well with their faggoty whites.

Another vote for HW hotness.  He's always been tall and trim, too.

RE Graves Disease: both HW and his wife developed it while he was in office and it doesn't affect your looks that much, just temporary hair issues and the potential "fish eye" syndrome which I don't think either of them has.  It does make it harder to maintain your weight after treatment but it's not impossible.  I happened to get it during the same time frame they did and went through the same iodine treatment.

Posted by: The War Between the Undead States at April 13, 2010 10:34 PM (0fPOP)

It's painful, right?  I remember that circulating during the election.

It's called aging.  Wyatt, will you age like Cary Grant or warm milk?

I'm sure having a ton of kids wasn't exactly helpful to Barbara's body, either, BUT I always thought she had a kind face, and I liked the fact that she never colored her hair (although I think her husband did, lol).

We have garter snakes on our property.

Agreed, garter snakes are pretty cool, we have a couple that curl up on top of the two bushes right outside the front door.  To my limited knowledge we have no venemous snakes in our area, Thank God.

woah woah woah, vegetable trees?

186 On the first two or three mowings of the summer i usually kill a handful of garter snakes inadvertently, already killed two this year. Usually get em with the weedwhacker, i'll be trimming along mindin my own bidness and then BAM hit that snake and it goes flyin.

that will wake you up want it.

HowÂ’s the bun in the oven Elizabeth?

Comment on the Led Zeppelin link:

The distortion is pretty terrible, I hate when people record concerts with their cell phones.

Posted by: mpfs, Mrs Rubio-West-Brown-Ryan-Lollar at April 13, 2010 10:39 PM (QuP9W)

He can't handle the truth!

I love Pawn Stars when the seller absolutely, positively, and without reservation is convinced his irreplaceable item is worth a great deal of money, and if only the pawn guy could recognize it's worth he would grab the cash and be on his way.

Haven't seen teh show yet but my favorite pawn shop used to be "Peggy's Pawn Shop" which was conveniently located across from teh county courthouse.   Court house moved a couple miles up the road and many of the store fronts that were there before have "For Rent" signs - the coffee shop, lunch places ... Peggy's Pawn Shop seems to be going strong.  Think I'll have to stop by and see what's for sale.

Another comment from the Led Zeppelin link:

Sounds like shite, doesn't it? Used to love this band but they didn't age well at all.

speaking of memoirs, is anyone planning on reading Kitty Kelly's "Oprah" biography? Seems like it would be one of those guilty pleasures but I dont feel like spending the money. That woman has a million skeletons in her closet.

I heard Fox & Friends talking about it this a.m.  I didn't know Steadman was still around, but apparently is.  They have a "brother-sister" relationship.  The most interesting thing is that he's a Republican.   I think D'Oprah and Gayle are the real couple.

also, when funbags mctitties was blathering on, anyone notice the one guy who looked like he was actually nodding?

Nodding off to sleep? because the group of people behind her keeps changing

Posted by: koopy at April 13, 2010 10:29 PM (ctR4U)

And by the way, it's really sad that you can't even rely on things like that to be factually accurate and without bias these days.

I think it was the woman from the city council meeting.

Posted by: M8B at April 13, 2010 10:41 PM (yfJ6g) 

Speak for yourself, Kemo Sabe.

Posted by: Elizabeth at April 13, 2010 10:38 PM (QjuDE)

Hi Elizabeth, I hope you, Mortis and the bean are all healthy and doing fine.

Posted by: Z Ryan at April 13, 2010 10:48 PM (cMo6P)

Discouraging potential handsy boyfriends?

It may only be lore, but I have read that Barbara's hair went white shortly after her daughter died, as a child.

I think W was an adorable child, too. What a cutie

Posted by: Sassypants at April 13, 2010 10:52 PM (zm/Xh)

Yeah, they talked about that too, and the fact that D'Oprah and John Tesh used to date when they were in their 20s!  Ewwww.

208 199 - are you in the Northeast? Garter snakes seem to be all over this area.

Yes, MA.  Heading to the Tea Party Express in Boston tomorrow and hoping to meet Loppyd there!

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 13, 2010 10:53 PM (9Lm5R)

Please don't get progressoverpeace started.  Eleventy!!11!1!

Posted by: Trimegistus at April 13, 2010 10:52 PM (fEoAc)

Getting rid of your lib friends is like ripping off a band-aid. It hurts but it's worth it.

When it comes to snakes there's nothing meaner in North America than a cottonmouth aka. water mocasin.

They are truly evil. I've had them rise up and open mouth at me as I drew down on them from 20 feet away.

I had a friend tell me about one striking at the boat paddle as he went to hit it.

Posted by:M8B at April 13, 2010 10:56 PM (yfJ6g)

Her skillz in the sack must've been world-class.

Yes, MA.  Heading to the Tea Party Express in Boston tomorrow and hoping to meet Loppyd there!

Posted by: tank at April 13, 2010 10:54 PM (Sfq43)

Say "hi" to Teh Palin for me!  I think she's risking her life in front of that crowd, though.  I think there'll be a ton of deranged moonbat infiltrators there.  I'm going to the Richmond Tea Party on Thursday and wonder what we'll have in the way of whack jobs.  When I was out protesting Warner and Webb's offices this past fall there were some really hateful 20-somethings making nasty remarks to our Patriot group.  I don't know if they'll have enough gumption to be there, though.  Charles Payne from FBN is coming.

OK, I really donÂ’t want to think about OprahÂ’s lesbian love life. I just ate.

Posted by: Trimegistus at April 13, 2010 10:52 PM (fEoAc)

Why do you want friends who think that about you?  That's not friendship.  Do they know you're aligned with that crowd by idealogy alone, even if you don't actually attend tea party events?  Tell them, see what happens.

Z Ryan, I'm now at week 21, so a little more than halfway there!

I know I'm not the one pregnant, but it seems like it's going by fast!  Hope all is well with you and Mortis, Elizabeth!  I'm going to check out your FB pics too!

Posted by: Fritz the Cat at April 13, 2010 10:58 PM (r+cQz)

My cat brought a snake in the house once. I broke the coffee table when I jumped up on it to get away from the (still alive) snake that the cat dropped on the floor. The cat was quite amused. I was not. I actually had to call a neighbor to come and get the snake because I lost my mind trying to get away from it.

Too depressed tonight. The Tea Party roadshow's stopping in my state tomorrow and all my lib friends are nattering about what a bunch of racist homophobes the "teabaggers" are. I'm about two inches from telling them all to fuck off and never darken my door again.

I get that a lot too but I stay friendly.  Had several women tell me today how stupid Sarah Palin was after I said my family was going to see her in Boston tomorrow.  So I replied that I wished I was as stupid as Sarah Palin who reportedly made approx. $12 million last year.  Spoken by two women who have husbands who have been laid off for over 2 years, course that all happened under "George W. Bush's watch" so he's to blame.

I just get depressed by how stupid so many people are and uneducated on the issues. 

Posted by: Fritz the Cat at April 13, 2010 10:58 PM (r+cQz)

Moocher.  Did you ever see The Dirty Duck?

OK, I really donÂ’t want to think about OprahÂ’s lesbian love life. I just ate.

Ha!  I've been snacking/eating all day!  Thank God someone mentioned this!  My satiety center had pretty much shut down, and now it's working.  I'm realizing now that I really am full!

Another line from the series, Great Writing From Scientific Documentaries:

"In the blink of a geological eye."

I have a feeling there might be more installments from this gem.  It just started.  The line is from about five seconds in.

Nearly 300 posts and you're still discussing spiders??

Egads!

Kick ass Zepplin find, Maet!

Posted by: Crabtree at April 13, 2010 10:58 PM (TVmXj)

Or you could always hit them with the ever-popular I'd rather be a teabagger than a teabagee.

I like Teabanger! myself.

OK, I really donÂ’t want to think about OprahÂ’s lesbian love life. I just ate.

Too depressed tonight. The Tea Party roadshow's stopping in my state tomorrow and all my lib friends are nattering about what a bunch of racist homophobes the "teabaggers" are. I'm about two inches from telling them all to fuck off and never darken my door again.

Know how you feel but I figure we'll get the last laugh.

BTW - anyone going to the NYC(City Hall) Tea Party?

Yeah I just recently found out a friend of mine that I was fairly certain was conservative, given that her father was career Air Force and her brother is in the Air Force now, is actually a bitchy liberal. She sent an invite to me to join the FB “bet we can find 10,000,000 people who think Sarah Palin is stupid” or something to that effect.

Posted by: Fritz the Cat at April 13, 2010 10:58 PM (r+cQz)

Hmm, Janet Napolitano has been busy monitoring the innerwebs tonight.  I wonder if that snake was a variety normally found in AZ....

I had a friend tell me about one striking at the boat paddle as he went to hit it.

My cousin had a four foot diamondback in her yard one day that struck her hoe as she went after him.  When she got done, she had about forty pieces about an inch or so long.

Another line from the series, Great Writing From Scientific Documentaries:

"In the blink of a geological eye."

I have a feeling there might be more installments from this gem.  It just started.  The line is from about five seconds in.

Posted by: rdbrewer at April 13, 2010 11:02 PM (O1+Km)

--The average mass-produced variety is so lightweight that I don't bother.  I would rather read a good book or even re-watch something I know is solid.

BTW, that is the kind of shyte "women's studies" and "english" majors end up writing.

Say "hi" to Teh Palin for me!  I think she's risking her life in front of that crowd, though.  I think there'll be a ton of deranged moonbat infiltrators there.  I'm going to the Richmond Tea Party on Thursday and wonder what we'll have in the way of whack jobs.  When I was out protesting Warner and Webb's offices this past fall there were some really hateful 20-somethings making nasty remarks to our Patriot group.  I don't know if they'll have enough gumption to be there, though.  Charles Payne from FBN is coming.

We've been doing the "Walk for Life" in October for over 15 years so we've seen some NASTY counterprotesting.  One of my daughter's won't be coming because she's afraid of the potential ugliness.  And the fact that she thinks we might get arrested and sent to re-education camps!

Oh, yes!   We already have another installment already in Great Writing From Scientific Documentaries:

The permian period "was complete in it's own way as the planet is today." 

Deep, man. I wanna hear about one of those ancient periods that weren't complete in their own way.  Or any other way, for that matter.

Lacey, golf pro, dish sister.

HavenÂ’t decided if IÂ’m going to de-friend her or not. Most of the time we just get together to scrapbook, which is usually an a-political activity.

Posted by: Bomber at April 13, 2010 11:06 PM (d88g9)

+10000!

When it comes to snakes there's nothing meaner in North America than a cottonmouth aka. water mocasin.

They are truly evil. I've had them rise up and open mouth at me as I drew down on them from 20 feet away.

Meaner than a rattlesnake anyday. they will open their mouth like they are yelling at you....  saying ok lets fight.

Logprof, you oughtta watch this one.  It's called The Day the Earth Nearly Died, and it's on Sci channel. 

We got us a live one.  There's going to be too much great stuff to chose from.  I've already passed over three or four more great lines.  They're kinda coming faster than I can type.

BTW - anyone going to the NYC(City Hall) Tea Party?

Posted by: madtechie at April 13, 2010 11:04 PM (yn/iq)

No, but I did just sign up to man a table at mine!  I may send a postcard to Erickson who earlier today said "As one of those people who turned out for the initial protests, the later protests, flew around the country speaking at rallies, etc. I would like to say goodbye. I hope the activists on the street will leave with me."

My cousin had a four foot diamondback in her yard one day that struck her hoe as she went after him.  When she got done, she had about forty pieces about an inch or so long.

I got a visual of that one and lol'd! 

294, I had gone years without seeing a snake but over the past couple years of fishing I've seen several.

I often fish on foot from the bank so I asked for and got snake proof boots for my birthday last October.

Have a nice constitutional!  (I'm not sure I'll be here when you get back.)

260 I have no problem killing a spider. They're nasty and ugly. I don't care about the fact that they eat insects. They're ugly and nasty and they are killed in this house. The garter snakes live outside and they're fine. I wouldn't want to cuddle up with one, but they're ok.

We have a "crush and flush" policy here.  Bugs belong outside ... if they live outside fine. However bugs inside my home are "criminal trespassers"  we have a crush and flush policy for any and all criminal trespassers here.

We gotta start talking about boobs.

DonÂ’t look at me. I got called a narcissist one too many times this week already.

303 runningrn, haven't seen you in a while!! you had company right? your sister and the kids? Snow all gone and we've had some great weather. We're even having some spring and it didn't automatically climb to 80 degrees!

304  Thanks! Went really well. He's a catch!  But one date and all-- I'd be an idiot to get too excited.

I was always taught that the Coral Snake was the one that will kill you if it bites, though.

All this talk of venomous snakes with no mention of the Black Mamba living in the White House is very disconcerting.  We all know he's the most dangerous snake ever to reside in the people's house. 

We gotta start talking about boobs.

DonÂ’t look at me. I got called a narcissist one too many times this week already.

You don't have to talk.  Pictures will be just fine.

Posted by: Elizabeth at April 13, 2010 11:10 PM (QjuDE)

This is the solution.  If your liberal friends start talking politics, oblige them.  They'll probably defriend you first, and then you'll know where you stood with 'em.  Hell, I had liberal friends defriend me before there was Facebook.  Liberals are liberals first.  See, e.g., liberal Joooos.

Lacey, golf pro, dish sister.

Gosh!  I miss a couple of weeks and Ryan-Z gets himself a girl, and Lacey's got herself a golf pro!  PGIS is right, spill!  I need to know!

It was nearly game over, man... game over.

Well at least the first date went well, Lacey! And I mean it that I admire your moxie for asking him out. IÂ’m trying to get up my courage to do something similar but I fear rejection.

All this talk of venomous snakes with no mention of the Black Mamba living in the White House is very disconcerting.  We all know he's the most dangerous snake ever to reside in the people's house. 

Does it make me a bad person that I laughed out loud?

Tell me about it. I have to fan myself just thinking about it.

Well at least the first date went well, Lacey! And I mean it that I admire your moxie for asking him out. IÂ’m trying to get up my courage to do something similar but I fear rejection.

PGIS, I've been thinking of you and wondering if anything has happened since I haven't been around.  It's looking like not.  We've got to get together soon and talk!

IÂ’m fairly certain thatÂ’s the BAMF* snake Jones.

*Big ass mother fucker

Tell me about it. I have to fan myself just thinking about it.

LOL!  First snake David's seen with sharp creases!

Posted by: laceyunderalls at April 13, 2010 11:12 PM (L6oE4)

[Insert bawdy golf euphemism here.]  Do you play golf?

Liberal friends are just like fanged animals.  Eventually, they will turn on you and the vitriolic diatribe will stun you with its rancor and hatred.  I culled all my liberal friends after the Clinton election, and have lived a better life for it.  It is noted that the asshole liberal lawyer's are no longer welcome in my home. 

It was a two-fer.

No, but I did just sign up to man a table at mine!  I may send a postcard to Erickson who earlier today said "As one of those people who turned out for the initial protests, the later protests, flew around the country speaking at rallies, etc. I would like to say goodbye. I hope the activists on the street will leave with me."

Posted by: tdpwells

Excellent. I beg to differ with Erick. Now is when you need to go out and show your numbers. If you don't all you'll have is a bunch of libtard idiots (especially in NYC) representing the movement and the MSM would be more than happy to parade them around.

335, looks like a black racer. Non-poisionous and often mistaken for the dreaded cottonmouth.

I almost stepped on one two Summers back out at the pond.

Posted by: chemjeff at April 13, 2010 11:18 PM (Gk/wA)

Channel your inner Michael Scott.

Posted by: chemjeff at April 13, 2010 11:18 PM (Gk/wA)

call in sick

Douchebag alert!  I found this guy's blog while googling for pictures of the Yellowstone magma chamber. 

Right at the top center of the blog:  "About Me"  Followed by:  "40's something modern explorer, dad, husband, businessman, and intellectual vagabond searching for connections at the chaotic confluence of science & art, life, ideas & adventure"

(Emphasis mine.)  Douchebag!  Douchebag!  His blog has been around about three years it looks like, and has had 700 profile views!

Here's a sample of his writing.  From the latest entry:

James Krenov, who just passed away in October (2009), taught an entire generation of woodworkers to converse with wood; to listen and respond with a thoughtful approach; the dialog informing the very shape and feel of a thing. Design is a tricky thing, but through such a conversation we can at least arrive at a semblance of design quality. We can follow the threads which challenge our notions and preconceptions and thus raise the tenor of the look and feel of a piece beyond that which typically lies within us. Often those ideas raise our skills pushing us to explore new methods and new approaches.

I gotta go talk to my wood.

Does it make me a bad person that I laughed out loud?

Posted by: runningrn at April 13, 2010 11:15 PM (CfmlF)

You would be more upset if you found out he calls his little friend, Black Mamba.

hi all
oh man I'm really in trouble
I am supposed to give a short presentation tomorrow about how to give a powerpoint presentation
trouble is, I'm not all that good at it myself
any tips???

I've never done a powerpoint presentation, so I can't really give you any tips in regards to that, but I can give you one in regards to your public speaking--just be your normal charming self!  Unleash that infectious laugh...You'll have them eating out of your hand!  (I just read my comment to my husband, and he laughed.)

chemjeff, do you want me to ask my 8 year old son who is proficient at PowerPoint?

Yeah it depresses me that he's better at it then I am.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 13, 2010 11:15 PM (RZ8pf)

You're joking.  Men love to be asked out.  And they (well, I) love potty mouths.  Just make sure he ain't liberal, or it won't go well.

Looking for something to help cork it up?

Posted by: madtechie at April 13, 2010 11:19 PM (yn/iq)

Yeah I'm about done with that site.

PGiS, it's already been stated  but if the guy really could be worth it, you'd kick yourself later if you didn't at least try.

I get rejected plenty. Yep it stings. But that is fleeting. Uncertainty, however, never goes away.

Posted by: Z Ryan at April 13, 2010 11:23 PM (cMo6P)

Considering her posts on the ONT, that's a pretty tall order.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at April 13, 2010 11:12 PM (L6oE4)

Did you tell him your "Moron" name?

I gotta go talk to my wood.

Posted by: rdbrewer at April 13, 2010 11:20 PM (O1+Km)

I gotcher wood right here

Posted by: laceyunderalls at April 13, 2010 11:12 PM (L6oE4)

Lacey, you have such a good memory!  Yes, my sister and her family came to visit, we all had a great time. 

Ooh, golf pro sounds intriguing.  The fact the first date went so well is always promising!  I hope it works out for you!  You deserve someone that's smart, funny and good--just like you!

Do you play golf?

You asked laceyunderalls if she plays golf?? Never seen Caddyshack, have you??

Did you tell him your "Moron" name?

Posted by: RushBabe at April 13, 2010 11:25 PM (LKkE

Heh.  Over/under on number of dates before that information is revealed?

Posted by: CDR M at April 13, 2010 11:25 PM (5I8G0)

Killing snakes is always a safe bet in my book, assuming you have the means handy to kill them.

Z Ryan, it's different for a mature woman to ask a man out versus the 13-year girl old asking little Pete to the Sadie Hawkins dance.

The mature woman thinks of rejection and the consequence of living with that horror for a couple of day, whereas, the little girl is thinking of lollypops, bubblegum, and of oourse the Bill Clinton blowjob which really isn't sex.

But, guys, IÂ’ve been told before that men donÂ’t take women seriously that ask them out. That they think the women are fun, but not a long term prospect.

Looking for something to help cork it up?

Naw, just wondering how big it is, where it's causing uplift, how large the ashfall will be, and how long we have.

The last couple of ashfalls covered most of the country, from California to Lousiana. 

Jeepers.

You asked laceyunderalls if she plays golf?? Never seen Caddyshack, have you??

Posted by: laceyunderalls at April 13, 2010 11:27 PM (L6oE4)

Ha, no.  It was completely lost on me until I just googled it.  I just figured it was your own cleverness.  I've never been able to watch more than about 5 minutes of Caddyshack at one time.  Which makes my over/under question kind of...dumb.

386 Hahahaha, nope. But I threw out a few quotes and earned some points!

runningrn, I really would like to venture out your way sometime soon but all the talk about those  hairy creatures that shall not be named is turning me off!!

Hey tank! I'm going to the TEA party tomorrow and also hope to meet loppyd.

Awesome!!  Is there a AOSHQ secret handshake or someother way of identification?

 spiders (non venomous) in my house don't bother me. anything that flies means all out war.

Heh!  We had a bat in our house once.  I was watching tv and saw something fly by out of the corner of my eye.  I thought, "wow, that's a big moth", then I realized it was a fricking bat.  I locked myself in my craft room and yelled for my husband (who was downstairs).  I told him about the bat and told him to get rid of it.  He didn't know what to do.  He ended up bludgeoning it to death with my brand new Swiffer Sweeper.  We called our county animal control to see how to dispose of said bat and see if we needed to take it somewhere to be tested for rabies.  They told us it was illegal to kill a bat (it was the fall, mating season and they are a protected species--who knew?)  They told us to just throw it in the trash. 

But, guys, IÂ’ve been told before that men donÂ’t take women seriously that ask them out. That they think the women are fun, but not a long term prospect.

Posted by: mpfs, Mrs Rubio-West-Brown-Ryan-Lollar at April 13, 2010 11:29 PM (QuP9W)

Sure.  I'll bet he's seen A Few Good Men. 

"My existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way."

runningrn, I really would like to venture out your way sometime soon but all the talk about those  hairy creatures that shall not be named is turning me off!!

Lacey, come in the summer!  (They really only come in houses during the fall/winter when the rain really starts coming down).  The summers here are glorious!  So pretty!  Beautiful snow covered purple mountains, glorious blue lakes--just spectacular!  Plus I'm sure we could rustle up a Seattle Moron Meet-up in your honor.

Posted by: Z Ryan at April 13, 2010 11:31 PM (cMo6P)

Yes, I never had a problem with being asked out either.

Though a female acquaintance was once telling me she asked a guy out...and he rejected her. She was so upset she wasn't going to try again.

Oh dear, to have only ever been rejected once for a date ....

408 Heretic!

golfers are the biggest sluts of all pro athletes.

Hmmm, considering the NBA is a pro sport I"m not sure about that

But he's just an instructor so I think I'm okay!

Posted by: Racefan at April 13, 2010 11:29 PM (HjQ9V)

The hell you say!

You guys think IÂ’m a potty mouthed tart, donÂ’t you? IÂ’m never asking him out now.

But, guys, IÂ’ve been told before that men donÂ’t take women seriously that ask them out. That they think the women are fun, but not a long term prospect.

You guys think IÂ’m a potty mouthed tart, donÂ’t you? IÂ’m never asking him out now.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 13, 2010 11:36 PM (RZ8pf)

I think you're cute and funny and fun to be with.

Posted by: CDR M at April 13, 2010 11:35 PM (5I8G0)

Bingo.

Posted by: Elizabeth at April 13, 2010 11:33 PM (QjuDE)

Oh, and one other thing. I think it is harder for a guy to tell if a woman is flirting or just being nice, then it is for a woman to tell if a guy is flirting or being nice. We just aren't as subtle.

So if there is a guy you fancy ladies, don't presume he is picking up on the smiling, arm touching, and hair fiddling.

Posted by: GGE, Hall of Fame Moron and Retired Squid at April 13, 2010 11:36 PM

He sure did live a long time.  Maybe because he never married........

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 13, 2010 11:35 PM (9Lm5R)

Well, that and the ginger coloring will make Blazer a shoe-in to find at the Richmond event.

You guys think IÂ’m a potty mouthed tart, donÂ’t you? IÂ’m never asking him out now.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 13, 2010 11:36 PM (RZ8pf)

No problem.  Give me his number and I'll call him and explain your hotness and why he should not expect any favors, but you do like Channel, chocolate, shoes, and an occasional Broadway play.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 13, 2010 11:35 PM (9Lm5R)

No, no, no, ask to see his secret tattoo...then you will know for sure...

But, guys, IÂ’ve been told before that men donÂ’t take women seriously that ask them out. That they think the women are fun, but not a long term prospect.

No, no. That's women that give it all up on the first date. A lot of guys like an assertive woman. And those that don't probably have weird hang-ups re: gender roles anyway. So you don't want that guy.

Go for it!

I think you're cute and funny and fun to be with.

Posted by: GGE, Hall of Fame Moron and Retired Squid at April 13, 2010 11:38 PM (VeO75)

Yeah.  Just don't go all ONT-style on him on the first date.

All Morons can be identified by their pencil mustaches.

All Moronettes can be identified by their pencil mustaches.

I admit my lack of knowledge in these areas.  I hope to see fluffy and loppyd tomorrow.  Perhaps you will know me by my "Marsha Coakley - NOT" poster!

If he doesn't take you seriously, it's not because of whoever was TEH FURST11!! to ask the other out. It's because he didn't take you seriously to begin with.

Posted by: Fish at April 13, 2010 11:29 PM (M5t+h)

Don't forget the rape that isn't rape-rape.

PGIS, technically my wife asked me out.

We were both invited to an event by a mutual friend who had the intent of us meeting each other.

She and I exchanged phone numbers after having fun talking for a couple of hours.

I went home, tossed the number on my nightstand and said "she's probably not interested and won't call and I won't risk it".

A couple weeks later she calls.

That was Feb 1993. We've been together ever since.

So if there is a guy you fancy ladies, don't presume he is picking up on the smiling, arm touching, and hair fiddling.

Posted by: 18-1 at April 13, 2010 11:39 PM (bgcml)

Agreed.  Except the arm touching thing.  That's hard to ignore.

Yeah.  Just don't go all ONT-style on him on the first date.

Posted by: FUBAR at April 13, 2010 11:41 PM (1fanL)

So, no asparagus discussions?

I was talking to a nutritionist today...

Did you know that boobs are no longer in the food pyramid?

What the hells up with that?

 they thought i was crazy for even bringing up a thing like that.

Posted by: Racefan at April 13, 2010 11:43 PM (HjQ9V)

Probably liberals.  Fuck 'um.

Posted by: Racefan at April 13, 2010 11:43 PM (HjQ9V)

Well hey, maybe you shouldn't have told them that a week after giving them all your extra pudding cups?

I never realized there was a significance to a toe ring. IÂ’m going to be looking at womenÂ’s feet differently this summer for sure.

Oh, and I havenÂ’t been spending real time with him so no that stuff doesnÂ’t apply. I think IÂ’ll continue to dither for a little while, but thanks for the pep talk!

Posted by: Sassypants at April 13, 2010 11:35 PM (zm/Xh)

welcome to our world

I find toe rings to be skeevy. Seriously they creep me out.

I was talking to a nutritionist today...

Did you know that boobs are no longer in the food pyramid?

What the hells up with that?

Your "nutritionist" is totaly punching down ... time to make a few phone calls!

With Obamacare?  Are you CRAZY?!

Posted by: Z Ryan at April 13, 2010 11:46 PM (cMo6P)

Hey, I'm not a member of Congress.  I still gots my healthcare! (for now)

Posted by: tdpwells

Excellent. I beg to differ with Erick. Now is when you need to go out and show your numbers. If you don't all you'll have is a bunch of libtard idiots (especially in NYC) representing the movement and the MSM would be more than happy to parade them around.

Posted by: madtechie at April 13, 2010 11:19 PM (yn/iq)

Went to RedState to find out what y'all were talking about and can't believe what I'm reading.

I've lost count of the number of times Erickson posts something incredibly venal and stupid and then has to follow it up a few hours later, after his own perplexed readers ask him what the fuck is wrong with him with, with another post explaining and reinforcing his nose-in-the-air, conservative-activism-isn't-legitimate-until-I-say-it-is shitheadedness, one designed to sniff that all the people left over after his latest round of bannings have "reading comprehension" issues and just don't understand his strategic brilliance. He does it every time he throws a candidate under the bus because they're not Rand Paul; he did it with his drama-queen "birfer-banning" weekend epic; and he did it after calling the entire GOP racist because Kay Bailey Hutchison wouldn't step down to let Michael Williams run. But oh, mama does he love drawing in those GOP congressmen as guest bloggers and does he ever love telling everyone who'll listen how great it is being a CNN tool commentator.

Erick Erickson is a jealous, condescending, race-baiting, bloated opportunistic sell-out cockblob of the lowest order. I wouldn't piss on this fat-faced self-infatuated fucking asshole son of a bitch to put him out if he were on fire.

Fucking utensil.

Posted by: Z Ryan at April 13, 2010 11:45 PM (cMo6P)

Sorry Ryan, my dating is limited to folks with bumps and cooters. 

I bought a book on PowerPoint 2007, to which I am going to devote my entire weekend

Good luck! I, for one, think you will be FINE!

Posted by: wherestherum at April 13, 2010 11:47 PM (gofDd)

It heartens me to know that middle daughter shares my warped sense of humor.  Her new husband isn't so fond of it sometimes, which just adds to the enjoyment (he doesn't quite know how to take it).

The folks on the ONT are the best people in the universe, hands down!

But do it politely.

Posted by: M8B at April 13, 2010 11:48 PM (yfJ6g)

Are you talking about PGiS?  I didn't know he was dropping hints.  It depends on the situation.  If the guy is dropping hints, don't ask first.  Unless it's at work or some place where sexual harassment is an issue.  Also unless he's been dropping hints for a really long time.

If a number of arm touches don't get you a date, try smacking his ass.

Posted by: Racefan at April 13, 2010 11:49 PM (HjQ9V)

They are probably apprehensive, they don't know if you are going to eat it or just dip in it.  They would likely be less nervous if you had a spoon with you when you opened it.

Now, if a water moccasin asks you on a date, you're allowed to say no.

Reminds me of the Lifetime Television for Women movie “Mother may I Sleep with Danger?”

Good grief, almost 11pm Central.

Now I know why I haven't been on the ONT for awhile. You folks are bad for my sleep patterns.

Nite, all.

Posted by: wherestherum at April 13, 2010 11:47 PM (gofDd)

rum, I think all the Moronettes get "guy" humor and aren't prissy.  That's what makes 'em fun.  Way back before electricity (maybe not that far), when I used to date, I had a couple guys say, "You'd be fun to be married to."  I took that as a great compliment and can easily see all our wimminz commenters as fun ppls for Moron types to be married to.  The Morons don't seem too bad either.  Heh, heh.

I do Z Ryan, and I appreciate it. I guess I’m still a bit “guy shy” since my last relationship didn’t end that long ago.

Posted by: GGE, Hall of Fame Moron and Retired Squid at April 13, 2010 11:53 PM (VeO75)

I agree.

PGIS, I just emailed you. 

Goodnight Tank, have fun at the Tea Party tomorrow!  Be careful out there too!

But, guys, IÂ’ve been told before that men donÂ’t take women seriously that ask them out. That they think the women are fun, but not a long term prospect.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 13, 2010 11:29 PM (RZ8pf)

Know what I like, PGiS? I like women who know what they want. I'd be overjoyed to find a woman confident enough to ask me out, and would take her up on it in a heartbeat because the kind of woman possessed of that kind of confidence and forthrightness is one I know I'd enjoy spending time with.

Holy crap!  What is Edyta wearing (or more like it, not wearing?)  Yeesh!  Those DWTS women are practically nekkid!

And kill me now, why is that harridan Kate still on there?  Yeesh!  Her 15 minutes of fame were so over last year! 

Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at April 13, 2010 11:54 PM (yfJ6g)

If you have trouble getting dates, try hanging around with more straight guys.  Just sayin'.

Know what I like, PGiS? I like women who know what they want. I'd be overjoyed to find a woman confident enough to ask me out, and would take her up on it in a heartbeat because the kind of woman possessed of that kind of confidence and forthrightness is one I know I'd enjoy spending time with.

Posted by: The War Between the Undead States at April 13, 2010 11:56 PM (0fPOP)

And nice tas.  But that goes without saying.

Posted by: Racefan at April 13, 2010 11:49 PM (HjQ9V)

Hahahahahaha.  With that, I'm going to walk down the hall to bed, giggling all the way.  'Night.

Now, if a water moccasin asks you on a date, you're allowed to say no.

Reminds me of the Lifetime Television for Women movie “Mother may I Sleep with Danger?”

You guys are making me laugh tonight!  Heh!

Posted by: wherestherum at April 13, 2010 11:59 PM (gofDd)

Come for the dramatic zoning comittee meetings, stay for the new ONT dating service over 1 match just this year!

Posted by: Druid at April 13, 2010 11:39 PM (Oe01r)

Dakine Obama is Hawaii's #1 Local Boy and nothing, but nothing, will ever, ever change that.

Posted by: Crabtree at April 14, 2010 12:00 AM (TVmXj)

I don't have to worry about being asked that, my fashion sense isn't that good.  I only look presentable when getting dressed up because my wife picks out my clothes.

Posted by: wherestherum at April 13, 2010 11:59 PM (gofDd)

Of course I would.  Unfortunately, I might be moving even further east.  To DC.  To work for the feds.  Yeah, I'll understand if you change your mind.

Posted by: huerfano at April 14, 2010 12:00 AM (gLSaO)

Did she have a nicer gun rack?

Posted by: wherestherum at April 13, 2010 11:59 PM (gofDd)

Um, War?  This means war!

Posted by: FUBAR at April 14, 2010 12:02 AM (1fanL)

Remember to use at least seven proxies when accessing AoS...

Posted by: Dang Straights at April 13, 2010 11:57 PM (67pfW)

Awwww!  That's sweet.

'Night, Rum!

It's all kinds of frisky in the ONT tonight and not the normal kind--me likey!

The wimmins here are a-ok in my book.

Remember to use at least seven proxies when accessing AoS...

Posted by: 18-1 at April 14, 2010 12:03 AM (bgcml)

Where I work AoSHQ is blocked for being a "known pornography site" but they let me access Aardvarks and Asshats (I haven't tried the snooch report).  They have Confederate Yankee blocked too for the same reason.  I think they are just hatin' on the mu.nu.

Wow, FUBAR, thatÂ’s kind of hot. Will you be armed?

Posted by: chemjeff at April 14, 2010 12:00 AM (Gk/wA)

Heh!  I'm a Times New Roman girl myself...

Teenage Tourette's Camp

http://bit.ly/U5p6Z

Posted by: wherestherum at April 14, 2010 12:03 AM (gofDd)

Don't know about them, but I would.  Have you applied with the Feds?  You know it's a boom time there.  And you get paid 20% more than comparable private sector peoples, and the benefits are 80% more.  Which pisses me off, right up until I get hired.

Um, War?  This means war!

Posted by: FUBAR at April 14, 2010 12:03 AM (1fanL)

Don't push it or I'll give you a war you won't believe!

Would they allow me a riding crop and whip?

Could induce some to violate tax law.

Yeah, and I'm sure she doesn't want that.

Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at April 14, 2010 12:07 AM (yfJ6g)

Just tell them "if you're trying to ask me out, just ask" and see what happens.  If they get flustered and stammer a lot, they are trying to ask you out.

Speaking as one who got flustered and stammered a lot.

Posted by: Dang Straights at April 14, 2010 12:07 AM (67pfW)

Can't say I am a fan.

Wow, FUBAR, thatÂ’s kind of hot. Will you be armed?

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 14, 2010 12:07 AM (RZ8pf)

With a pen.  And an enooormous database.  USPTO patent examiner.  They're hiring like hell, rum.  Not just examiners.

Posted by: wherestherum at April 14, 2010 12:03 AM (gofDd)

WTR, the she-wolf of the IRS.

Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at April 14, 2010 12:07 AM (yfJ6g)

Ya, you seem like the Pride & Prejudice-y type.  Which is lost on people your age.  Maybe you should go for older men.  They'll buy you nicer things.  Anyway, if the guy is interested, and you have arm-touched, and hair-twirled, and doe-eyed him, and he still won't ask?  There's something wrong with him.  You don't want to end up with a weenie.

Ooh, I think Editor, has a Droid.  It looked really cool at the Seattle Moron Meet-up.  I believe he liked it a lot.  Outside Magazine (March issue, p. 90) recently reviewed/rated it as the best smartphone, has better remote range than the IPhone. 

Here's the review:

"$300 with contract.  Has the processing power and razor-sharp touchscreen for true Web use--and in far more remote areas on Verizon's network than the city-bound iPhone on AT&T.  You can scroll fluidly thru maps, zoom in on hi-res satellite images, and breeze thru complex websites.  The keypad is flat and typoprone, but the brilliant 3.7 inch display more than makes up for it." 

I'm still a bit under the weather, could someone give me a basic recap on the ONT so far?

Spiders.

Seriously. And for about the first 300 comments.

Posted by: rockhead at April 14, 2010 12:12 AM (RykTt)

ME TOO!!11

582 I'm still a bit under the weather, could someone give me a basic recap on the ONT so far?

Posted by: kbdabear

also snakes and dates and puddin.

Oooooo, I love databases!!! Love them.

592 Thanks a lot for that mental image!

Now I have to take Lady Gaga's advice and turn celibate

Posted by: Z Ryan at April 14, 2010 12:18 AM (cMo6P)

Uhm.  I thought spiders and snails and puppy dogs' tails.

Where I work AoSHQ is blocked for being a "known pornography site" but they let me access Aardvarks and Asshats (I haven't tried the snooch report).  They have Confederate Yankee blocked too for the same reason.  I think they are just hatin' on the mu.nu.

Yup, my work has AosHQ and Michelle Malkin blocked.  I can get on Hotair and Free Republic, though.

Posted by: Z Spider-Ryan at April 14, 2010 12:20 AM (cMo6P)

Psst!  You're getting it ackwardbay.  Run for your life!

Dakine Obama is Hawaii's #1 Local Boy and nothing, but nothing, will ever, ever change that.

Posted by: Bomber at April 14, 2010 12:20 AM (d88g9)

YES!!  Rum in uniform!  Buuunk!

Posted by: The War Between the Undead States at April 14, 2010 12:12 AM (0fPOP)

My favorite story like that was the lesbian (that I didn't know was a lesbian) that spent 20 minutes telling me how she likes her oral sex and then showing me her pubic tattoos and then got all offended when I tried to kiss her. 

Posted by: kbdabear at April 14, 2010 12:17 AM (sYxEE)

So, we've got good news and bad news Mr kbdabea.

The good news is your procedure is fully covered under Obamacare, we've already sent you a check. 

The bad news is that we accidentally filed your Wisdom Tooth Extraction procedure in the Remove a Kidney Surgery bucket.

But don't worry, you've still got one kidney, and by Jove, that's pretty good.

Now I have to take Lady Gaga's advice and turn celibate

Tuned in to a Vow of Chastity, did I?

Hi All.  How has HQ been?  Any Apologies downPage? Banhammerin'?  What's shakin'?

Posted by: wherestherum at April 13, 2010 11:53 PM (gofDd)

It's true, Morons. Ladies love teh funnee. It's what's allowed me to spend the best years of my life barricaded inside the closet with a big stack of porn magazines for the blind as tears stream down my face surrounded by all the women I've ever wanted.

Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at April 14, 2010 12:21 AM (yfJ6g)

Hmm.  If they get lots of attention, don't ask.  Do you have anything in common with 'em?  Activities?  (Other than all-night raving on X, I mean.  I know what you kids do.)  Or is this a purely physical attraction?

On a different note, have I showed you my slide rule yet?

Posted by: Elizabeth at April 14, 2010 12:24 AM (QjuDE)

it's not stupid.  The Census Bureau counts residences; a post office box is not a residence.  

unless you're really, really tiny............

I'm itching. This thread is too much for me.

/serious unhealthy abnormal spider phobia here

I'm off to dream about more plesant things like puppies or bunnies. Or how I would pay the fuckers at the Treasury Dep't with a sack of pennies for what I owe on my taxes this year if I lived in DC.

Ah, a girl can dream!!

Peace out, homeslices.

Posted by: The Alien Hive Queen at April 14, 2010 12:22 AM (O0GUR)

You are doing it wrong.

it's not stupid.  The Census Bureau counts residences; a post office box is not a residence.  

I just had a light saber battle with my kid. I may be too much of a geek to date a guy.

Posted by: GGE, Hall of Fame Moron and Retired Squid at April 14, 2010 12:28 AM (VeO75)

Hey, what if I maybe let turbo tax make a another mistake...would that make me a bad boy?

Posted by: FUBAR at April 14, 2010 12:31 AM (1fanL)

He'd just mutter about succubi and chaos and then run off to climb a mountain or something.

I just had a light saber battle with my kid. I may be too much of a geek to date a guy.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 14, 2010 12:31 AM (RZ8pf)

Do you know how many parasecs it took Han Solo to do the Kessel Run?

 how to get WTR a job as a Fed stompy boot enforcer.

Certainly we will need more than one Stompy Boot Enforcer.  Perhaps a whole Brigade?

Posted by: Some Homeless Guy at April 14, 2010 12:31 AM (bgcml)

homeless people were counted the night of March 31st, along with people  living on boats in marinas and people living in RVs in parks.  Did they give you a lollypop for being good?

Rum, your turn to shine..

Posted by: wherestherum at April 14, 2010 12:32 AM (gofDd)

Or date more intellectually rounded guys. History is a pretty accessible topic so it's not like you are talking econ theory with the gardener. Think of it as them failing the dullness of intellect test.

Certainly we will need more than one Stompy Boot Enforcer.  Perhaps a whole Brigade?

BUNK!!!!!

I mean, uh, yeah, we have plenty of candidates here for the Stompy Boot Brigade.

It’s “parsecs” and it was less than 12.

Either that, or Lucas screwed up in his dialogue. (Which, you know, could never happen.)

Posted by: wherestherum at April 14, 2010 12:32 AM (gofDd)

History you say? That's a great way to weed out liberals.

Sign me up for the stompy boot brigade!!

Either that, or Lucas screwed up in his dialogue. (Which, you know, could never happen.)

Lucas screwed the dialogue.  They were talking about how fast the ship could travel.

So is that considered a pass or a fail on the geek test IllTemperedCur?

Either that, or Lucas screwed up in his dialogue. (Which, you know, could never happen.)

Posted by: Zimriel at April 14, 2010 12:36 AM (O0GUR)

Han was bullshiting. Check out the look Obi gives, I think, Luke.

Posted by: Druid at April 14, 2010 12:37 AM (Oe01r)

Do though be able to justify everything you put on your resume.

I don't know how many people I've interviewed ended their chances with something along the lines of, "My friend just told me to put that on there because it would get me in the door."

Male engineers should only marry yappy chatty women. I've always seen that engineers do well marrying their opposite, which is some kind of a speed freak or hyperneuirotic. Other than that, engineers are dullards. 

I've ABT for an engineering MS, so I can speak for those pathetic, one-dimensional life-sucking anhedonic bastards. 

Lucas screwed the dialogue.  They were talking about how fast the ship could travel.

Posted by: Count de Monet at April 14, 2010 12:38 AM (2g2ex)

Physics are racist. And economics. And logic.

Posted by: wherestherum at April 14, 2010 12:40 AM (gofDd)

Mission Accomplished

Damn! Just watched last night's episode of "24" on hulu.com.

Do NOT fuck Jack Bauer. You get crazy ... or dead.

DAMMIT!!!!

They refused my trade in at the mail oreder bride site...

bastards....

Carrie Fisher, by contrast... uh, not so great. (At least, not in 1976.) "Someone has to save our skins!" still makes me wince.

Posted by: kbdabear at April 14, 2010 12:36 AM (sYxEE)

Oh, Gawd.

We geologists call it the "Useless GS". Absolutely brain-numbing shit.

Posted by: Gasoline Gus at April 14, 2010 12:43 AM (ZnIuc)

I still remember seeing President FDR on TV warning us about that very thing in 1928.

Here's a sample of his writing.  From the latest entry:

James Krenov, who just passed away in October (2009), taught an entire generation of woodworkers to converse with wood; to listen and respond with a thoughtful approach; the dialog informing the very shape and feel of a thing. Design is a tricky thing, but through such a conversation we can at least arrive at a semblance of design quality. We can follow the threads which challenge our notions and preconceptions and thus raise the tenor of the look and feel of a piece beyond that which typically lies within us. Often those ideas raise our skills pushing us to explore new methods and new approaches.

I gotta go talk to my wood.

Posted by: rdbrewer at April 13, 2010 11:20 PM (O1+Km)

--Was he credited as a writer of one of those shows?

Do NOT fuck Jack Bauer. You get crazy ... or dead.

I know spoilers from Ausiello...but I'm not telling. 

Damn! Just watched last night's episode of "24" on hulu.com.

Do NOT fuck Jack Bauer. You get crazy ... or dead.

Posted by: Drillanwr at April 14, 2010 12:42 AM (1kwr2)

--I have not read to see if our resident ginger-lovers are in mourning yet.

Posted by: wherestherum at April 14, 2010 12:40 AM (gofDd)

Unfortunately, most people are like that. It isn't you. My only advice is to broaden your social circle with people you really don't like that much (but don't really dislike), but who might have friends that you do. If you are methodical, you can plow through a few social circles other than your own in a couple of months.

Posted by: GGE, Hall of Fame Moron and Retired Squid at April 14, 2010 12:41 AM (VeO75)

I would hit it.  Hell, I did hit it.

DAMMIT!!!!

They refused my trade in at the mail oreder bride site...

bastards....

Posted by: Gerry Owen at April 14, 2010 12:42 AM (4Hy8

You're supposed to cut holes in the box you use to bring her back in, y'know. Made that mistake several times myself.

--I have not read to see if our resident ginger-lovers are in mourning yet.

I'm still in amazement that her towel never shifted one millimeter during all the action.

I make it easier on them; it counts if they get the number to the nearest five.

Posted by: Hatchet Five at April 14, 2010 12:48 AM (YJl4U)

The feature is a bug!

I carry no diseases.

I'm still in amazement that her towel never shifted one millimeter during all the action.

Posted by: Count de Monet at April 14, 2010 12:48 AM (2g2ex)

--Funny thing is, those scenes are more realistic on network TV than on HBO, where the woman always keeps a shirt or bra on, and sometimes the guy too.

Posted by: wherestherum at April 14, 2010 12:52 AM (gofDd)

Yeah, that will happen, but if you can limit your contact to group stuff (where he doesn't have his feeling hurt and bad mouth you) then you can lat move from him to his extended social circle and go from there.

Leave no wake of interpersonal destruction and your movements will go unnoticed.

Wow, the mating pheromones are in the air tonight.

WasnÂ’t that a Genesis song?

Do though be able to justify everything you put on your resume.

I don't know how many people I've interviewed ended their chances with something along the lines of, "My friend just told me to put that on there because it would get me in the door."

Posted by: Bomber at April 14, 2010 12:50 AM (d88g9)

Good one.

Posted by: davidt at April 14, 2010 01:05 AM (aag4W)

--Speaking of that weenie movie, can you believe that dude is gonna play Kurt Cobain in some biopic?  I kinda believe it, since Twilight is just the same kinda navel-gazing nonsense that would appeal to that demographic along with Nirvana of yore.

Look, it's been a long winter and we're all horny as hell.

I hope Obama gets around to sexual justice pretty soon and redistributes from the haves to the have nots.  I feel the need, the need for a high speed run to blow the carbon out.

Posted by: wherestherum at April 14, 2010 01:10 AM (gofDd)

--That must've been in the big swath I missed when I was out.  I did not know either, but it was more like I figured I would not have been surprised.  She's still kinda sexy in a smartass way.  She also does evil very well.  I'm actually more curious as to whether her character is a lesbian.

I hope Obama gets around to sexual justice pretty soon and redistributes from the haves to the have nots.  I feel the need, the need for a high speed run to blow the carbon out.

Posted by: Count de Monet at April 14, 2010 01:14 AM (2g2ex)

Dude, its on my agenda believe me.

Posted by: wherestherum at April 14, 2010 01:10 AM (gofDd)

Are you doing it as the Dominatrixauditor? Because, I'm pretty sure the IRS can do whatever the heck it feels like.

I hope Obama gets around to sexual justice pretty soon and redistributes from the haves to the have nots.  I feel the need, the need for a high speed run to blow the carbon out.

Posted by: Count de Monet at April 14, 2010 01:14 AM (2g2ex)

Dude, its on my agenda believe me.

Posted by: Barack "I hope sweetie is asleep" Obama at April 14, 2010 01:20 AM (bgcml)

Does this have something to do with that supposed soccer game that Rush was talking about today?  I missed part of that.

--I have not read to see if our resident ginger-lovers are in mourning yet.

I'm still in amazement that her towel never shifted one millimeter during all the action.

Posted by: Count de Monet

Nah, was a bed sheet. 500 thread count Egyptian cotton queen size. That sucker wasn't gonna budge unless Jack dismantled it manually. More dangerous than that suicide bomb vest he failed at a few episodes back.

Does this have something to do with that supposed soccer game that Rush was talking about today?  I missed part of that.

Not intentionally, didn't hear Rush's show today.

Or as Dorothy Parker put it "if you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me".

This is why I love the morons, they quote Dorothy Parker as easily as they quote Star Wars lines. This is a real classy joint.

Posted by: wherestherum at April 14, 2010 01:24 AM (gofDd)

--Now wait, are you saying that both the actors and characters are supposed to be gay, or just the actors (plus Kurt the character)?

Or as Dorothy Parker put it "if you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me".

This is why I love the morons, they quote Dorothy Parker as easily as they quote Star Wars lines. This is a real classy joint.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle

My husband likes to quote "The Jerk". Me? I lean more toward "Mars Attacks".  Might be a regional thing.