Is it too late to wish some hawt chick that I want to have my baby a Happy Mother's Day?

It's pretty cool how they're able to work her name into all the videos and even create a virtual mom tattoo.

I got one of those and it's got Hillary and Michelle Obama. talking about motherhood. I'm traumatized.

I cheated at Ouija Board.

Every.Single.Time.I.Played.

There sure were *lots* of boys that liked me in 6th and 7th grade based off those untruthful answers.

Happy (belated) Mother's Day btw!!

Posted by: kbdabear at May 09, 2010 09:07 PM (sYxEE)

--Balance has been restored to the Force.

I have poppies all over my garden this time of year - I always give away tons of seeds to friends and neighbors.  Who knew I was contributing to the delinquency of the 'hood?

Happy Mother's Day, all - I had 3 of my 4 daughters here this weekend - we'll be seeing Daughter #1 in a couple of weeks for her college graduation, so life is good!

I cheated at Ouija Board.

Every.Single.Time.I.Played.

There sure were *lots* of boys that liked me in 6th and 7th grade based off those untruthful answers.

Happy (belated) Mother's Day btw!!

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 09, 2010 09:11 PM (IjWky)

I wish I could have gone to school with you!

Never take anything for granted.

http://tinyurl.com/2elgzkl

I cheated at Ouija Board.

Every.Single.Time.I.Played.

There sure were *lots* of boys that liked me in 6th and 7th grade based off those untruthful answers.

Happy (belated) Mother's Day btw!!

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 09, 2010 09:11 PM (IjWky)

--That reminds me of the one where Calvin asks the all-knowing Ouija Board who is the most brilliant in the world, and then he and Hobbes fighting, saying "It's going to the 'C'!" "No! It's going to the 'H'!"

Around these parts, the trumpet pitcher is preferred to opium. A little hot water and BLAMO!

I hear it's a bit like 'shrooms...if you survive, that is.

I read somewhere not too long ago (here?) a list of the Top 20 most deadly plants in the world and about 18 of them grow in my neighborhood. It was very surprising as I had already come to accept that the "most deadly" anything was bound to be from Australia, not suburban Florida.

Posted by: mpfs at May 09, 2010 08:49 PM (QuP9W)

--I'm about to resume the fight.  I don;t have as much left as last night, so I'm letting my stomach empty, then beginning with shots so as to get more punch. Still, gotta get up early tomorrow so I won;t be up as late.

My Ouija board met its demise after my 12th birthday slumber party. One two many 3am screams sent my Dad over the edge. He threw it out and I tried to tell him it was bad luck and he was channeling evil.

He said he was okay with taking his chances on that one.

Posted by: steevy at May 09, 2010 09:19 PM (6ApNg)

Really?

Good evening. Editor you are a good guy for going to that tripe. Every single time my friend and I saw a preview for that movie we almost retched, especially when everyone else in the theater was all "oooooo." I don't know why, but the premise of that movie just set my teeth on edge.

Well, that wasn't very Mother's Dayish of me, now was it? Happy Mother's Day.

My son was so excited to fix me breakfast in bed this morning I found myself eating toast and Lucky Charms at 6:30am. It was lovely, of course. Next year he promises he's going to make pancakes.

Now that he is back at Dad's (do not even get me started...) I just finished a nice long bath with a cup of Pinot Grigio and InStyle magazine.

Top 10 sockpuppeteers:
1 [104 names] 'kbdabear' [14.60 unique names/day]
2 [97 names] 'Delta Smelt'
3 [83 names] 'fluffy'
4 [81 names] 'logprof'
5 [71 names] 'Mallamutt'
6 [54 names] '18-1'
7 [52 names] 'FUBAR'
8 [40 names] 'conscious, but incoherent'
9 [36 names] 'Barack Obama'
10 [34 names] 'dananjcon'

Wow.  I'm honored.  The words escape me.  I'm a bit choked up....Speechless really.

 However, my personal feelings aside, I must do my duty and give special thanks to the socks who made this possible.

Who could be number one without the help of Mittens Romney, Tim Pawlenty, and the late great Martin Van Buren?  Big shout outs to them.

Without Tony Montana, Billy Batts, Bob Bennett, Michael Barone, Jim Lehrer, David Frum, Andi and Levi, Carlhes Johanson, Daniel Son, Rio Linda, and Kitten Woods this just couldn't have happened. 

I know I'm leaving out many great socks, but forgive me, I've rambled on too long as it is.

(Thank God I didn't come in 1st again)

kbdabear, you mine next week though.  Don't get cocky.

Man, I always got it with the buisness end of the hair brush or the soup ladel.which ever one was closer.Then my old man got in on the act,with the buisness end of his boot.Ahh,the memories.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at May 09, 2010 09:30 PM (RZ8pf)

IIRC, it was pretty dreamy

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 09, 2010 09:29 PM (9IHmo)

--I was laughing my ass off when I went to Juarez for the first time and found that there really is a chain of stores called S-Mart.  No kidding.

Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at May 09, 2010 09:35 PM (yfJ6g)

No comment

Posted by: Darin H at May 09, 2010 09:37 PM (fYZUD)

--I liked Training Day.

Anyone who fully expected and wanted a cop movie was let down.  I liked it as a morality play, with Denzel playing a Screwtape kind of character.

#87

You are lucky.

Anyone who fully expected and wanted a cop movie was let down.  I liked it as a morality play, with Denzel playing a Screwtape kind of character.

Posted by: logprof at May 09, 2010 09:40 PM (Mmw0q)

It is interesting to see Denzel as a villain. He's got the chops for it, but I just wasn't expecting to see him cast that way.

Posted by: Man from Porlock at May 09, 2010 09:37 PM (9IHmo)

Opium? Never heard of it. Or coke.

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 09, 2010 09:33 PM (9IHmo)

Oh, I've always had a thing for Frenchmen!

Posted by: wherestherum at May 09, 2010 09:34 PM (gofDd)

Another example of too much media putting out too much disinformation......

Posted by: John Edwards at May 09, 2010 09:42 PM (9IHmo)

I think she is out of your league dude.

Posted by: mystry at May 09, 2010 09:37 PM (kmgIE)

My prayers are with you.  Hope is not just for Obama voters with single digit IQs.

Another example of too much media putting out too much disinformation......

Posted by: John effin Kerry at May 09, 2010 09:44 PM (MJmA4)

Maybe you shouldn't try to hear through your ear necklace?

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 09, 2010 09:17 PM (9IHmo)

You know, to outwit a devil, some of the time you need a Devil.

Posted by: mpfs at May 09, 2010 09:43 PM (QuP9W)

I just wanted to freakin' go home!

Two days at the Disneyland and California Adventure were my Mothers Day activities, and it was the happiest place on earth for that time. I had recently read up on Disney myths and lore, and knew about the ash dumping in the Haunted House, amoung others. That ride was stopped once while we were there, but no hazmat teams showed up, so it wasn't a scattering taking place.

Nice weekend there, and may all moronettes who are mothers or who fulfill the role of mother in young one's lives be blessed.

Posted by: steevy at May 09, 2010 09:05 PM (6ApNg)

I don't know, looks pretty normal to me. They are both women, right?

Posted by: B.L. ZeBub at May 09, 2010 09:47 PM (bgcml)

The Devil is Not Mocked...

OK, I wonÂ’t grow poppies and then drink the tea. But I always wanted to meet the Jabberwocky.

#128

Big time.  Don't forget the Kool 100 after a couple lines though.  Fantastic.  Kumar agrees. 

The Cracked article isn't surprising.

I heard that Disney has a bad track record with how they treat their employees. Most famously those hired to portray the characters. Don't get sick or pass out in your costume. They just won't give a damn. And most importantly, make sure not to pull the head off lest you frighten the kidos.

And the underweart thing--blech--don't get me started. No one would touch or force me to turn over my lacey underalls.That's for damned sure.

Damn, I'm late!

Got a good excuse, though. Had to make dinners for the week and then go on one of these:

http://tinyurl.com/ydfr749

Speaking of, Maetenloch my dear, did the blood go away?

#137

Um. Not. Worthy.  Not sure if I'm relieved or disappointed.

Starting right now, I'm posting as much as I can this week to try to make the top 10 commenters list.

My ex-husband gave me a citronella candle in a coconut because it reminded him of me, IÂ’m not really sure what that meansÂ…

The scary part?Jerry Brown's eyebrows.

I was just noticing those.

I have never flashed my boobs on any Disney rides. And it kind of annoys me when people do because they delete that photo and maybe the other people on the ride with you wanted the photo and now they canÂ’t have it because you flashed your boobs or gestured obscenely.

Posted by: Dang Straights at May 09, 2010 09:56 PM (PANJ+)

Well, you see, chicks have a "see my boobs" life quota.  And, the easy on the eyes girls have no problem getting that number in private. 

But the fugly ones, well, need to make more of an effort.

Live and learn, bro.

And the underweart thing--blech--don't get me started. No one would touch or force me to turn over my lacey underalls.That's for damned sure.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 09, 2010 09:52 PM (IjWky)

Commando is more then a movie. It is a way of life.

Posted by: Dang Straights at May 09, 2010 09:56 PM (PANJ+)

Women hater! You wouldn't know a thing of beauty if it flashed one of its many boils at you.

What the f*ck is with all the spam this early in the thread? Is that one of you sockpuppeting spammers to pump up your total?

Posted by: katya at May 09, 2010 09:56 PM (JFox3)

MATT DAMON

My ex-husband gave me a citronella candle in a coconut because it reminded him of me, IÂ’m not really sure what that meansÂ…

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at May 09, 2010 09:56 PM (RZ8pf)

I think I get it.

What sort of ride has you flash your boobs?

Cowgirl...

Commando is more then a movie. It is a way of life.

Not on Sundays. That's God's day.

And today's Mom's Day. She would be disappointed that she didn't raise me better.

Codeine upsets my stomach and doesn't do shit for pain.

Me too.  I have a very high tolerance to most painkillers.  The dentist generally has to up my dosage of novacaine (or whatever they use these days).  And I at least double the dosage of most over the counter drugs I take.

Posted by: Commender Kruge at May 09, 2010 09:59 PM (sYxEE)

--Ah, that's right.  I mentioned Short Circuit.

Posted by: CoolCzech at May 09, 2010 10:02 PM (9IHmo)

yes

Posted by: Jones at May 09, 2010 10:00 PM (JL3qV)

--That Sum'bitch is always tipped over, too.  Must be drunk or somethin'.

I have never flashed my boobs on any Disney rides. And it kind of annoys me when people do because they delete that photo and maybe the other people on the ride with you wanted the photo and now they canÂ’t have it because you flashed your boobs or gestured obscenely.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at May 09, 2010 09:58 PM (RZ8pf)

I still can't figure out why my pictures get deleted even when I am the only person on the ride.

Uh-oh, Winona Ryder, does a citronella candle in a coconut have some meaning I donÂ’t know about?

My name.... is ... ACCCHHHH-MEDDDDD !!!!!!

That sends my kids into hysterics everytime somebody says it.

Posted by: Commender Kruge at May 09, 2010 09:59 PM (sYxEE)

You know, the internet has really given me job security.

Posted by: mpur in Texas (kicking Mexico's ass since 1836) at May 09, 2010 09:58 PM (iBTj9)

Hell yeah!

Judging by the number of people on this thread who had them or know someone who did, it seems like kidney stones are a fairly common occurrence. All I have to say about that is OUCH!

What the f*ck is with all the spam this early in the thread? Is that one of you sockpuppeting spammers to pump up your total?

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at May 09, 2010 10:01 PM (RZ8pf)

That sounds terrible.

Cowgirl...

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at May 09, 2010 10:02 PM (RZ8pf)

Please don't say those ride pics got deleted

Don't you just wish she was PM right now? Don't you just wish you could watch her first private conference with President Bambi?

Something I would pay serious money to see. 

#205

Gotta agree with Brett. 

Posted by: Commender Kruge at May 09, 2010 09:57 PM (sYxEE)

I! Have HAD! Enough of... YOU!!!

And today's Mom's Day. She would be disappointed that she didn't raise me better.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 09, 2010 10:02 PM (IjWky)

As they say, tomorrow is another day.

Posted by: katya at May 09, 2010 09:56 PM (JFox3)

MATT DAMON

Posted by: Matt Damon at May 09, 2010 10:01 PM (bgcml)

Steve Holt!!

IÂ’m going to choose to think the best of him and assume he was just worried that I needed a way to repel insects in my backyard.

I had morphine after a rough c-sec. I knew I had to avoid it forever after, because not only did I get over my fear of needles, I began to like the little pop noise/feeling an injection gives, and also loved the burn of the morphine going up my arm.

Only use it if you must have it.

#217

Hope so.  Ace doesn't seem like the type to count up my innane socks.

(Seriously though, glad to hear it.)

Uh-oh, Winona Ryder, does a citronella candle in a coconut have some meaning I donÂ’t know about?

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at May 09, 2010 10:04 PM (RZ8pf)

Um...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txw6l-s69f0

I heard that Disney has a bad track record with how they treat their employees. Most famously those hired to portray the characters. Don't get sick or pass out in your costume. They just won't give a damn. And most importantly, make sure not to pull the head off lest you frighten the kidos.

IMHO, that's BS. My oldest niece was down there for their summer college program; they got treated about as well as any retail employee. Also, talk to the cast members -- they love it. I've spoken to people who have worked for them for 20+ years as WAIT STAFF. 

I won't go into my speculation as to why Disney gets bad mouthed so much; I'll come off as more of a crank than is normal 'round here. :-)

And the poor sods in the costumes have minders; if they start to get too hot, they're supposed to signal their minders to get them out of sight so they can get some cool air and water. If you'll notice, most of the places to "meet and greet" are inside now, the ones that aren't are right next to a doorway.

I've had bloody nipples

I couldÂ’ve gone a lifetime without knowing thatÂ…

Steve Holt!!

Who's Steve Holt?

 I've had bloody nipples...

Thread winner! 

What sort of ride has you flash your boobs?

Cowgirl...

hahahasha  that's funny  

Posted by: Trimegistus at May 09, 2010 10:06 PM (jndrk)

Dude, I wouldn't play b-ball against Scott Brown's daughter. I sure as hell am not going to go brain to brain against the Iron Lady.

PGiS, perhaps it means that despite the issues the two of you have as exes he still respects you as a Mom.

A candle is about as innocent a gift as one can give.

#244

You better not!

181  Good gravy, please clean up this annoying spam!

hey, fuck yous brah, spam do be the good grinds

laceyunderall, I think he really meant that he was walking down the aisle in the store, saw it, and thought of me. He used to do stuff like that when we were first dating. I think overall he felt incredibly guilty that he screwed up the times for my MotherÂ’s Day visit.

You better not!

Posted by: Kal Penn at May 09, 2010 10:15 PM (8OTio)

Sweetie, you suck.

#252

Can you rebrand me as well?  I mean other than a Red Sox fan and all that.  Remember when we did Good Will Hunting?  We rocked together.  How bout Rounders 2?  I'm game.

Posted by: Matthew Damon, Jr. at May 09, 2010 10:16 PM

*fist bump, brah*

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 09, 2010 10:18 PM (UOM4

See #5

Posted by: barry in bondage at May 09, 2010 10:19 PM (aag4W)

Bunk

#255

Thanks hun.  I always got your back...I mean front...whatever.

Jane DÂ’oh is channeling Evita tonight. IÂ’m sending you hugs anyway and I can cry if I want to!

'Ettes: In Sweet Home Alabama (which is on right now), Reese has to choose between Dempsey and Josh Lucas (rough life, huh??)

Who would you choose?

Me? Not even a contest. Lucas. Hands down. Josh Lucas. Winnah. And I'm not even a fan of blondes. Something very smoldering about him in this movie.

Hey Rum, you getting the hot “Navy Federal” ad? Mmmm, good!

Thanks hun.  I always got your back...I mean front...whatever.

Posted by: Kal Penn at May 09, 2010 10:19 PM (8OTio)

Don't make me have to go all Fatal Attraction on you pothead.

Something very smoldering about him in this movie.

I likes me a country boy.

And the poor sods in the costumes have minders; if they start to get too hot, they're supposed to signal their minders to get them out of sight so they can get some cool air and water. If you'll notice, most of the places to "meet and greet" are inside now, the ones that aren't are right next to a doorway.

Who's Steve Holt?

Posted by: katya at May 09, 2010 10:11 PM (JFox3)

--You gotta watch Arrested Development.

Well laceyunderalls, for me it was a tough decision, because I mean my God the Patrick Dempsey character took her to Tiffany after hours to pick a ring, that was some hot stuff. But, yeah, Josh Lucas was totally smoldering and the chemistry was way better between them.

'Ettes: In Sweet Home Alabama (which is on right now), Reese has to choose between Dempsey and Josh Lucas (rough life, huh??)

Who would you choose?

Based on their faces only (I didn't find pictures of their bods), I'd go for Dempsey (I assume you mean Patrick).  I like brunettes. 

I! Have HAD! Enough of... YOU!!!

282 Uh huh.

I'm not into jewelry but I can't say I'd complain if a guy took me to Tiffany's to pick out my own ring.

This movie isn't even good but Lucas is so ridiculously hot in it I have it on with the volume muted!

but tomorrow is a (pardon the expression) *AHEM* Work Day.

That's one of the things I love about working second shift. You can still party late the night before you go back to work.

I just drank an entire bottle of wine. FML.

293,

In one drink? Or did you kind of spread it out?

So 'rum, why don't you apply at Disney? You seem to know the place inside and out.

Seems a match made in heaven.

Posted by: Trimegistus at May 09, 2010 10:29 PM (jndrk)

And that's why the Democrats will roll in November

Jane DÂ’oh, your son needs a good ass kicking, he should have been more thoughtful. And he needs to dump that girlfriend she is going to cheat on him for sure. IÂ’m sorry your boy did that to you, I hope that Mr. DÂ’oh treated you well.

but tomorrow is a (pardon the expression) *AHEM* Work Day.

Hi fellow conservatives, A great American and Patriot in Utah needs your help.  Please send Senator Bob Bennett a check of 5, 25, or even 500 dollars.  He can still pull this out.  Free airfare to the next straw poll I participate in for every contributor. 

(Harding 1920!)

And no, I didnÂ’t down an entire bottle in one shot, IÂ’ve been sipping it for the last two hours. Still, I think IÂ’ll feel it in the morning. Sigh.

Bottle of wine?  Through the vine?  When ya gonna let me get sober?

(Monty the characatutrurrure still sucks)

Hi fellow conservatives, A great American and Patriot in Utah needs your help.  Please send Senator Bob Bennett a check of 5, 25, or even 500 dollars.  He can still pull this out.  Free airfare to the next straw poll I participate in for every contributor. 

(Harding 1920!)

So 'rum, why don't you apply at Disney? You seem to know the place inside and out.

Seems a match made in heaven.

Maybe you can be Stitch.

Jane DÂ’oh, I had a mixed MotherÂ’s Day. On the one hand I loved that my son made me breakfast in bed at 6:30am. On the other hand, I hated that he left at 4pm to go to the other house to participate in the MotherÂ’s Day celebration for his stepmother. I know it is petty, but dammit IÂ’m his mother.

308  Interesting, i thought flashing only occured in Epcot

hey brah, eva see a samoan in a man thong?

whoooooooo, it be da kine cus

Since then, lefties have pulled out all the stops to slam Disney on any grounds imaginable, even when the company bows to the left.

Maybe Miley'll make the lefties like them better. 

#319

Whacha doin in 2012 tan man? ;-)

320  Maybe you can be Stitch.

lilo and stitch will be a huge theme once disney resorts opens here later this year

I know it is petty, but dammit IÂ’m his mother.

I think it's okay to be a little bit petty on Mother's Day.

My hubby is a minister and his soft heart causes him to invite lost souls and stragglers to every event we have or go to (movies,  out to eat, over to eat, etc).  I told him that for Mother's Day, I wanted us and our kids only.  No stragglers.   I know it's petty, but there it is.

331  Do they breed them that stoopid somewhere?

Hello!!!

Her answer:  George Clooney

Do they breed them that stoopid somewhere?

Guaranteed I'll never watch that one.

Well, I guess it is partly my fault I was playing carpet this week and pretty much let my ex-husband walk all over me. Sometimes I just donÂ’t have the energy to engage in the battles and it is easier just to give in.

IÂ’m trying (only half successful obviously) to focus on the positives and be grateful for the time I do have with my son. One thing hanging out here at Ace has taught me is that the kids grow up fast. Next thing I know heÂ’s gonna be a moron sitting in my non-existent basement playing GoW 23 and chatting up the ladies on some new technologyÂ…

So 'rum, why don't you apply at Disney? You seem to know the place inside and out.

Seems a match made in heaven.

I've applied to corporate jobs. I've thought about applying to the park and wonder if it'll ruin the magic. However, I figure if/when I move to FL I want to work at Epcot or MGM (now Hollywood Studios). So whenever I move to FL I'll apply like mad to WDW.

Posted by: Dang Straights at May 09, 2010 10:39 PM (PANJ+)

Ditto.  That's effed up.  You better watch your back, PGiS.  Sounds like there's a conspiracy to knock you off.

334  its my get away from everyone and thing week, plus i'm broke again

i got my crazy sister some johnny walker blue and got the wife a beretta px4 for yo momma day (i'm going to give it to her tonight at ruth chris)

Anyone see that the guy who called out Alex Rodriguez threw a perfect game?

Must be karma.

Posted by: Sassypants at May 09, 2010 10:42 PM (/CFYy)

--You were in Hawaii??

What did you see, Sassy?

Ahoy, polloi. 

Not going to stay long as tomorrow's a school day for the offspring.  Since it's Mother's Day, my motherly advice to 'rons with young 'uns is to never let them near hat shops at theme parks like Disney or Busch Gardens.

You wanna talk lice with the Disney performers?  The school nurse said they have lice outbreaks following every spring break from kids trying on Mickey ears at D-world!  Blech!

And as for the kidney stones, my dad has passed out from the pain of passing them a couple of times.  His mom used to get them too.  ^{*Knocks wood*}  I pray to Gaia I haven't inherited them too.  I have read that good advice for avoiding them is to drink a glass or two of water first thing in the morning to dilute all the salts and waste your kidneys have filtered overnight.  It took a lot of work for me not to hit the coffee cup first, but you get used to it after a while.

Rant off.

Katya, you have my sympathy. One of my good friends growing up was the stepdaughter of a Priest and it was similar for them. I am grateful for them however, because they took me along on a cross country trip when I was 13 and it was a great experience.

Anyone see that the guy who called out Alex Rodriguez threw a perfect game?

Must be karma.

Posted by: Delta Smelt at May 09, 2010 10:46 PM (8OTio)

--There was a perfect game today???

350  chicago

it seems we grew up less than two blocks from each other, in fact, she went to school across the street from my house

Editor, you saying the coconut candle is going to let off poison gas when I light it? Hmm, intriguing theoryÂ….

356  --There was a perfect game today???

die

I thought he'd make a great Batman too.

Worst. Batman. ever.  Every time he showed up on screen, I wanted to pop him in his stupid smirking face.

I wanted to go to someplace haunted and get the beejeebus scared out of me. But not until I have a boyfriend to cling to dramatically.

Oh jeez, I totally blocked out that George Clooney was Batman.

I bet memories of that incident kept him warm on several lonely nights, IYKWIM,&ITYD

#346

Yes sir.

Posted by: Sassypants at May 09, 2010 10:50 PM (/CFYy)

Sassy - just a reminder -- June 20th is coming!

363  I wanted to go to someplace haunted and get the beejeebus scared out of me.

where's gge for a confirm on this...

uss forrestal, aft refer deck veggie coolers, i swear to god it was haunted

mpur, thanks. IÂ’m sorry your stepchildren treated you that way, thatÂ’s not right either. I do have a lot of admiration for people who re-marry and blend their families, it is really hard to do.

I wanted to go to someplace haunted and get the beejeebus scared out of me. But not until I have a boyfriend to cling to dramatically.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at May 09, 2010 10:50 PM (RZ8pf)

Last night, I stayed in a supposedly haunted room in the Bullock Hotel in Deadwood, South Dakota, but did not get to interact with any ghost, just the hotel's rather lousy Wi-Fi service.

#374

He seems pretty cool.  Full of guts.

Posted by: Y-not at May 09, 2010 10:55 PM (Kn9r7)

Nah, that's May 20.  Tomorrow is just another day of abuse from Barry O.

but what do fans think?

Going in circles about it, I would imagine.

Posted by: mpur in Texas (kicking Mexico's ass since 1836) at May 09, 2010 10:53 PM (iBTj9)

--Oh shit.  I like Billy Connelly, but Dafoe made the first one great.

Well then Rum weÂ’ll have to find some men to cling to dramatically. I have no idea where weÂ’ll find some big strong men in San Diego. (whistles and looks innocently aroundÂ…)

Posted by: Sassypants at May 09, 2010 10:55 PM (/CFYy)

--Ah, gotcha.  Never been to Hawaii either.

 Tomorrow is just another day of abuse from Barry O.

HEY! Tomorrow is my b-day. 5-10-10.

Kind of seems like a lottery winner, eh?

Katya, you have my sympathy. One of my good friends growing up was the stepdaughter of a Priest and it was similar for them. I am grateful for them however, because they took me along on a cross country trip when I was 13 and it was a great experience.

My husband is a great guy.  And I'm glad he's there for the lost souls and stragglers.  I was one such a lost soul and the soft heart of a minister and his church took me in their fold and made me family.  But sometimes, I have to remind him that we need him.  All of him; to be shared with nobody else.  That's probably the greatest weakness of a minister.

Rum, Vans? Also Toms? I think Converse may have some slip-ons too.

Last night, I stayed in a supposedly haunted room in the Bullock Hotel in Deadwood, South Dakota, but did not get to interact with any ghost, just the hotel's rather lousy Wi-Fi service.

Posted by: TexasJew at May 09, 2010 10:56 PM (NfLLv)

I'm watching you from my balcony across the street, cocksucker.

Posted by: wherestherum at May 09, 2010 10:57 PM (gofDd)

Yes, the rates are very scary!!!!

I never thought in the 20+ years since I gave birth to D'oh Boy I'd feel so disappointed in him. 

You said there was a girl involved?  Girls make boys stupid.  When that sparkle has faded, he'll more than likely feel like a real jerk.

Posted by: Sassypants at May 09, 2010 10:59 PM (/CFYy)

Great! I'll be sure to keep an eye out for it. 

OK, I am eating weird tonight. I had French bread with brie and now IÂ’m eating poppycock.

Never saw a ghost at the Del, but I have more ghost encounters and stories than I can shake a stick at.

If you want another location, how about the old fort at Monterey,CA.

HEY! Tomorrow is my b-day. 5-10-10.

Kind of seems like a lottery winner, eh?

Posted by: HH at May 09, 2010 11:00 PM (6oDXl)

I won't be up for another hour, so Happy Early B-day, HH.  Hope you have a great day.  Any plans?

Oh yeah, topsiders are good too.

I'm looking for a flat shoe like sneakers, but with no laces. Any idea of what brands I should look at? I guess I want it to look kind of like the ballet slipper style, but with the comfort of a sneaker

hello, did someone call?

Jane DÂ’oh, donÂ’t feel like an idiot, weÂ’re here for you.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 09, 2010 11:05 PM (UOM4

--It's understandable. No worries.

Looking back, I probably pushed back too hard against my mom when I was 17, especially when I went to college.

Posted by: Seth Bullock at May 09, 2010 11:05 PM (4Kl5M) 

--Relax.  I'm just glad there's another Jew in town to take the heat off me.

Katya, what happened to that poor Amish boy in a Wal Mart?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 09, 2010 11:05 PM (UOM4

--It's understandable. No worries.

Friends are cheaper than therapy.

Actually, Al Swearingen would have been much more believable as a character in an oilfield boomtown. Those are really nasty places.

Last week, I told the folks in Williston to lock their doors and hide their daughters - the shit is coming.

what happened to that poor Amish boy in a Wal Mart?

he built a barn and then a dresser

DUH

Katya, what happened to that poor Amish boy in a Wal Mart?

I haven't been able to find that out but that's the story.

Howdy bomber.

Posted by: kbdabear at May 09, 2010 11:09 PM (sYxEE)

--Yes, unless it's associated with some bittersweet love you have not yet gotten over.

Posted by: kbdabear at May 09, 2010 11:09 PM (sYxEE)

Not only do you have to surrender your Man Card, but you must now go to Man Safety Class. 

Posted by: kbdabear at May 09, 2010 11:09 PM (sYxEE)

Good night good nighters!

Posted by: s☺mej☼e at May 09, 2010 11:17 PM (4y0YU)

GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!  I left that part off.  That's fucking scary.

Good night good nighters!

That sounds like a Gutfeld line.

BTW--I'm listening to Molly Hatchet's "Flirtin' with Disaster." Great. Fucking. Song.

#453

Problem holmes? Yo.

Posted by: The War Between the Undead States at May 09, 2010 11:21 PM (6u9Mp)

You need to hit the pause button, again.

But this is the same news station that reported that a guy drowned while trout fishing when he was actually running a trotline.

Dumb city kids don't know what a trotline is.

Jane...

Who old is your son? 20, 21? He joined the Marines, and he is about to be deployed.

Yes, it sucks that he didn't call you. But at this point in his life he is thinking about other things. He is probably much more concerned about whatever is going on in his immediate future.

I know, I've been there, and  I've always regretted not calling my mom on Mothers' day whenever I missed it.

But it happens. I'm sure your son loves you, but again, a lot of things going on with him.

Be patient...

#457

What do you mean?

Posted by: wherestherum at May 09, 2010 11:23 PM (gofDd)

FIFY

I have poppycock down the front of my tank top dammit.

471,

I'll bet poppy is very happy about that.

Sorry that happened to you. Chances are your son had an off week and will be apologetic, and this whole thing will be under the bridge. One can only hope

I have poppycock down the front of my tank top dammit.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at May 09, 2010 11:26 PM (RZ8pf)

Your tank top is almost as absorbent as Jerry's couch.

For some reason, after reading Undead’s reply to Rum all I could hear in my head was a male voice shouting “dive, dive”

In high school my guy friends liked throwing M&Ms or pretzels pieces and the like down our low cut tops.

So, you were always leaning forward?

And why? (oh, never mind on that one)

What is a trotline?

http://tinyurl.com/yjpcjw8

If Greece is a preview of our future IÂ’d better start cranking out the baklava.

PGiS,

You can always grow poppies - they are just lovely!  As I said, the only thing that I do with the seeds is scatter them in the rest of my garden and share them with friends and family.  It never even occurred to me to make a tea with them!

As to morphine, I've had 4 planned C-Sections, and the morphine (and the codeine) make me itch, so the sooner I can get those out of my system, the better.....

Well, it's a school night, so 'night all!

My son sent me this.  Politics explained:

http://tinyurl.com/e3auy

If Greece is a preview of our future

Then Greece must be destroyed!

(to borrow someone elses' famous line about Carthage).

I know that. I just finished a five year mission circling Uranus, wiping out Klingons.

Futurama smellescope best joke on Uranus is 30 seconds in.

I know that. I just finished a five year mission circling Uranus, wiping out Klingons.

Why didn't ya hit my 'roids with a laser while you were out there?

Greetings, morons, from Romulus MI!  Airline fail. 

I used my "dinner" voucher for beer.

Posted by: snapdragon at May 09, 2010 07:17 PM (5Etcj)

Greetings, morons, from Romulus MI!  Airline fail. 

I used my "dinner" voucher for beer.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at May 09, 2010 11:59 PM (EyuVk)

--Where on earth is that?! Stoolpack's district?

Perk up! And enjoy some Easy Livin'.

http://tinyurl.com/24g5xwl

--Where on earth is that?! Stoolpack's district?

About ten minutes from DTW, where I tried unsuccessfully to change planes.  Lol.

I've got a 5 a.m. wakeup call.  Bleh.

524,

I hate that this happened. The anti-oil crowd will run with this all the way. $5 gasoline anyone?

Posted by: The War Between the Undead States at May 10, 2010 12:06 AM (6u9Mp

 It has forced President Barack Obama to rethink plans to open more waters to drilling. 

The disaster could slow the exploration and development of offshore oil projects worldwide, the head of the International Energy Agency warned.

We are screwed. Thanks, BP! And the absolut non-response fron our own gov't when the damn thing was burning...

rummy,

That's my concern. Obammy will try to shut down everything. We need that product. Other countries are drilling like hell in the Gulf. And there is no way this regime will allow enough land exploration to offset those losses.

Posted by: katya at May 10, 2010 12:11 AM (JFox3)

yes but luckily it's quite rare for them to happen

Where'd everyone go?

Disneyland!

oh crap, 'rum fell off the bike.

#538

No kidding.  I can't wait. 

Rum, I know I told you “Another Cinderella Story” with Selena Gomez isn’t that great, but I’m re-watching it now and it’s better than I remember. It’s got as the wicked stepmother character. The plot line is kind of dumb, but Jane Lynch’s lines are funny, she pretty much tears up the scenery in it.

#545

Hmm.  No.  My mancrush on Paul Ryan notwithstanding.  Heh. 

Posted by: The War Between the Undead States at May 10, 2010 12:28 AM (6u9Mp)

don't blame Obama specifically, there isn't much to do for the President other than backing away and letting them work.

Democrats on the other hand using it as a political weapon....

Fuck, if they would just allow off shore drilling in Cali the Dems would have more money to spend us into bankruptcy again!

There you go again, being all logical.

Kinda seems lost. 

Not at all! We used it to scam the American people into thinking that we paid off our bailout!

Money well used!

There you go again, being all logical.

Posted by: katya at May 10, 2010 12:33 AM (JFox3)

I know, I need to stop doing that. Bad, Rum! Bad girl, using logic!

@Editor

If you had to pick a guy for the nomination tonight, who would it be?

Posted by: logprof at May 10, 2010 12:37 AM (Mmw0q)

be pretty hard as you need to be precise in a world where the variables change every second. Be hard without a human touch and instincts

Yeah Rum, I thought Selena Gomez played the character a little too subservient. The best friend sidekick reminds me of the movie “StarStruck” is it some sort of Disney rule that when they do a movie about a single male singer he has to have an African American sidekick friend?

Posted by: fartbubble at May 10, 2010 12:37 AM (gAmQ1)

A true talent.

#568

Love the passion man.  Want to go tanning?  Promise I won't touch.

A true talent.

Posted by: logprof at May 10, 2010 12:40 AM (Mmw0q)

still have all of my old vinyl my mom gave me. Fun to throw at night, works wonders as baby making music (especially Porgy & Bess)

@editor

?

I was hoping to stick around for the magic number but it's not gonna happen.  I'll catch up with you all bright and early in the morning.  Maybe.

'Night, y'all.

Posted by: The War Between the Undead States at May 10, 2010 12:42 AM (6u9Mp)

eh, can't blame that on the sitting President as it's akin to saying Bush was responsible for the levees breaking. Just a breakdown in communication in the government.

@logprof

Whachu drinkin

still have all of my old vinyl my mom gave me. Fun to throw at night, works wonders as baby making music (especially Porgy & Bess)

Posted by: fartbubble at May 10, 2010 12:45 AM (gAmQ1)

@logprof

Whachu drinkin

Posted by: Delta Smelt at May 10, 2010 12:53 AM (8OTio)

--Last of my Bushmills + coke

Nice

Posted by: andycanuck at May 10, 2010 12:52 AM (WBIMn)

--You gotta fill this drunkard in: Are you referring to the airship paper?

#589

Nice.  What part of the country are you drinkin it in? 

Posted by: andycanuck at May 10, 2010 12:56 AM (WBIMn)

--Ah, well, there may be a student involved as a co-author, but in fact my colleague in the office next door has had airships as his bailiwick for years.  I am reviewing these for a conference, not for a class.

If I were trying to administer a self-purity test, I would have recused myself from reviewing this since it's almost a certainty it's my colleague, but I did not want to deal with waiting for other papers to read.

Posted by: The War Between the Undead States at May 10, 2010 12:54 AM (6u9Mp)

considering they didn't know much, I don't have too big of an issue. What would he have said "Can't answer any questions as we don't have much at all when it comes to info but there was a big fucking explosion in the gulf"? And it wasn't like it wasn't being reported in the news

Nice.  What part of the country are you drinkin it in? 

Posted by: Delta Smelt at May 10, 2010 12:57 AM (8OTio)

--The Prairies.  Manitoba.

Are you John Conifer? I am looking for John Conifer.

You stupid robot. It's Sandra Conner, not Palin!

(stupid T-1)

slowness

#600

Right on. About 800? miles north of me here in Denver.  I know last night you were talking about Virginia Beach.  Cheers.

#607

Bingo.  Most of Europe is dead.  Girls just want to have fun.  Guys just want to be soccer hooligans or metrosexual manginas. 

Right on. About 800? miles north of me here in Denver.  I know last night you were talking about Virginia Beach.  Cheers.

Posted by: Delta Smelt at May 10, 2010 01:07 AM (8OTio)

--That's right.  I think GGE ranted about HR last night and I did not yet reply.

All I can say is: Yeah, there's a lot of water and it floods sometimes.  However, if it were not for one of the finest natural harbors in the world the place would be as backward and obscure as, say, the Eastern Shore.  Hell, even the one interstate highway goes in, circles round, then leaves.  That said, it's got it well off with regard to avoiding hurricanes: very protected and while Isabel flooded my dad's basement a bit, there has not been a catastrophic hurricane since the 60s.  Again, see the definition of "harbor."

Cost of living: maybe not great for servicemen, but my stepbrother still bought a house for relatively cheap a few years ago, while not making a load of money --and he had two small children to boot.

So, on balance, not awful, and not ideal for a young, restless man, but hardly hell on earth.

50 more

@logprof

Yeah and I remember agreeing with your take from my visit there.  Nothing you said contradicted what I saw. 

give or take

619,

Clive Cussler and Vince Flynn.

Posted by: mpur in Texas (kicking Mexico's ass since 1836) at May 10, 2010 01:19 AM (iBTj9)

--Have you seen Ironman 2?

I'm still wrapping up my book.

Clive Cussler and Vince Flynn.

Posted by: crap flagon at May 10, 2010 01:24 AM (Mmw0q)

It's all done out of love.  Honestly.  Besides, aren't all morons just a little bit lesbian?  You know we are.

Posted by: crapflagon at May 10, 2010 01:29 AM (Mmw0q)

--Aw, fuckin' sockpuppet!

Posted by: crapflagon at May 10, 2010 01:29 AM (Mmw0q)

--Aw, fuckin' sockpuppet!

Posted by: logprof at May 10, 2010 01:29 AM (Mmw0q)

Ha!  I'll check it out, but I guaran-damn-tee ya I won't change my mind.  If God wanted the world to have an enema he'd stick the hose in at Norfolk/VaBeach.

Posted by: mpur in Texas (kicking Mexico's ass since 1836) at May 10, 2010 01:31 AM (iBTj9)

SciFi, it's one with actual space travel and stuff (as opposed to the fantasy genre that apparently occupies the same niche).  The difference between sci fi and fantasy, BTW, is in sci fi you have to explain HOW the unicorn flies.

Posted by: GGE, Hall of Fame NC Moron at May 10, 2010 01:29 AM (xa1/W)

man I hate that series. Butcher is a fucktard.

627,

I just posted my Flynn and Cussler readings and it didn't show. Hmmmm?

post

uh....

fuck

Damn, not even close.

Posted by: Dang Straights at May 10, 2010 01:35 AM (PANJ+)

don't be a h8r.

Posted by: Waterhouse at May 10, 2010 01:38 AM (9Ycb2)

only liked the Hyperion series and Drood from him

mpur,

Check out a book titled "The Coffin Dancer" by Jeffery Deaver. Very good.

Posted by: logprof at May 10, 2010 01:38 AM (Mmw0q)

my post still stands (#650), some of the best writing I've read so far this year.

Night mpur,

Same here, I'm out. Some tunes and then bed time.

Posted by: wherestherum at May 10, 2010 01:49 AM (gofDd)

nope, netbooks use opensource programs (to keep the costs down). Reading on them for any decent length sucks though

To Mom(s)

Jimmy Dean

Posted by: koopy at May 10, 2010 01:51 AM (ctR4U)

friend owns one (waiting for the second gen to come out) and I really dig the product (which is odd as I really hate Apple products). Don't like the price though.

THIS IS SO STRANGE
 
   A.  Did you know that the word "race car" spelled backward still spells "race car"?
     
   B.  Did you know that "eat" is the only word that if you take the first letter and move it to the last, it spells its past tense "ate"?
      
   C.  And have you noticed that if you rearrange the letters in "illegal immigrants" and add just a few more letters, it spells out: "Go home you free-loading, no good, benefit-grabbing, kid-producing, violent, non-English speaking ass holes and take those other hairy-faced, sandal-wearing, bomb-making, goat-loving, raggedy-ass camel jockey bastards with you"?
    
How weird is that ???

Posted by: Madam, I'm Adam at May 10, 2010 01:57 AM (LD+ZJ)

--Fuckin' A!

Posted by: koopy at May 10, 2010 01:58 AM (ctR4U)

friend went with the regular version. Figures anything that needs phone service, he can just use his iPhone. AT&T did offer me a pretty good deal if I got one, extra $20 a month (instead of the $30 a month) to add it to my data plan

where's gge for a confirm on this...

uss forrestal, aft refer deck veggie coolers, i swear to god it was haunted

Posted by: chicago cubs at May 09, 2010 10:55 PM (gg4j2)

Confirmed.  Disconnected phones that ring, inner doors that opened, yep.  Haunted.

Posted by: Oilfield Dude at May 10, 2010 02:00 AM (Cx5cx)

It ends at the age of 18, 25 if the little darlings go to college, depending on what the divorce papers say.  After that, as I told my daughter, I no longer have any reason to deal with your mother and I lost the desire to a long time ago. 

Child support = the screwing you get for the screwing you got.  Tie it to visitation and maybe it would be at least a little bit easier to take.  As it is now, it's just a good reason to never have kids, ever.  But I'm not bitter!

Posted by: logprof at May 10, 2010 03:26 AM (Mmw0q)

Maybe it's just that those are the ones you hear.

Maybe it's just that the bumper stix weren't so common 5 years ago.

Maybe it's just that Virginia Beach STILL has not complied with the requested building permit exclusion zones in the crash zones around the base.

Or maybe it's a combination of all the above plus some.

Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at May 10, 2010 03:59 AM (Yq+qN)

Visa card and a swim suit are all you need.

Wear the swimsuit on the plane. Maybe a pair of flip-flops if you want to get all dressy.

Better dead thread than dead head,

Jerry was a pin head

Drugs was he....and DRUGS did he.

Too early in the morning for poetry.

MBT shoes is it when your foot buffer, the ability to challenge your muscles known. MBT walking shoes to improve balance, posture and circulation. This apparent effect of your spine. It helps to improve the way you use your muscles and joints. In short, it has many advantages, there are no other shoes, to tell the difference.