Comrade Rumanov! How nice to see you at the Sunday evening meeting of the People's Overnight Poliburo. May I offer you a wodka?

Crap, that was sposed to have my Comrade Leakinovich puppet on it. I messed up.

Oh, and may Courtney Cook live an extremely miserable life.

Incorrect!  Rum is my Valentine.

_{Yeah, yeah, shut up.}

Awwww! Make sure to send her a Snoopy Valentine's card. Or do they only sell Zac Ephron and Jonas Bros. these days?

i think it is wrong to post these pictures of the olympic hotties.  it is wrong to look at women and go 'wow',  men should only look at their own women only on vally day.

heh

hi all

After Ben, that was a pleasure. 

 Besides, I'd like to have one baby with an IQ over 78.

Apparently dolphins aren't too picky about their wimmins. Garner is quite unhot IMO.

Posted by: CoolCzech at February 14, 2010 10:26 PM (QECjC)"

no no no....I post while I am working.  while is the operative word here

*puts away skimpy lingerie and stompy boots*

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Oh, and may Courtney Cook live an extremely miserable life.

She is, only it hasn't dawned on her yet. Mizz Cook will find out that life can be a harsh mistress.

61,

She deserves all the harshness life can dish out.

Posted by: s☺mej☼e at February 14, 2010 10:32 PM (8zQxF)

Hey, I've "heard" women can do amazing things with their feet underneath a restaurant table.

I never would have figured dolphins for having a foot fetish...

It probably got a gander at the mouth on that hag and said, "Uh, I think I'll just work this end."

Posted by: CoolCzech at February 14, 2010 10:36 PM (QECjC)

Do you still have her telephone number?

Gran,

I had never seen that old post of Ace's with that bitchy butter face chick. Thanks.

As for Dolph, pretty rough singing, but still hawwwwt. I'd like to break off a piece of his KitKat bar.

85,

Who would've ever thought that fire ants could serve a positive purpose?

Evening all.  Today is Jack Benny's 39th birthday if you didn't know.

Posted by: Z Ryan at February 14, 2010 10:41 PM (cMo6P)

I know what would be the most popular, Rum in the kitchen wearing lingerie, stompy boots and frying bacon.

I had a slice o' bacon wrapped aroune the filet I had with my lobster tonight. And yes, I am stuffed.

Just went up to the gas station to buy my wife some smokes.    I'm not a smoker but I'm not holier than thou about it.  I do, however , worry about my wife's health.  I'd like to keep her around for as long as possible.   That's the first time I have bought them for a while, damn things are up to $51+ a carton.  She's smoking about a carton a week. I'm paying more per month watching our money go up in smoke than our cable, phone and internet combined.  Anyway, I jumped her ass about it.  Her choice. I know but its frustrating as hell.

If I could get her to cut back to a half pack a day I'd worry less about her health.

 Garner is quite unhot IMO.

Before she was Affleck'd I would have hit that like a Trailer Park Newly Wed!

I think she was smokin' back in the Alias days...

Evening all.  Today is Jack Benny's 39th birthday if you didn't know.

 Posted by: Countrysquire at February 14, 2010 10:46 PM (0HdbA)

Well, my birthday is White Day, so I expect Japanese girls to hop on it for the chocolate..

And yes, I am stuffed.

You can't get away with saying that phrase if you're a moronette.

Posted by: Ohio Dan at February 14, 2010 10:48 PM (rurh0)

It's for the children, Dan.

Posted by: Ohio Dan at February 14, 2010 10:48

(nervously raises hand)

Maybe stop buying cartons?  It's got to be hard to cut back when you've got a crate of the stuff you're addicted to in your house...

107,

Just another cross the ladeez must bear.

I've hear the slogans. Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtry.  Doesn't work.  She asked me to pick up a carton because we are supposed to get 9" of snow tomorrow.  Your right though.  I should have bought her a pack  and said I misunderstood her.

garret,

She has what I call a "Julia Roberts mouth," and I don't find JR all that hot either.

Posted by: Hatchet Five at February 14, 2010 10:52 PM (DTffv)

Fire Ants didn't get into the US until 1930, the little bastards.

My beloved nuts have had several encounters with Fire Ants over the years. Not the most wondeerful feeling in the world...

Posted by: Barrack H. Obama - the 'H' is silent at February 14, 2010 10:54 PM (UNOPX)

And then married her?

I love when cig taxes go up for the children.

Of course it's for the children!  Children are our future, right?  Don't you agree?  Don't you think we should make everything safe for the children?  Do you have something against them?  OMG RUM HATES BABIES!

120

Afraid of the 'Hot Dog in a Hallway' sensation?

Posted by: wherestherum at February 14, 2010 10:54 PM (gofDd)

Well now you're just arguing semantics. *g*

Her choice.

Her choice?

Her choice?

Man up -- TELL her to quit, NOW!

Gung Hay Fat Choy!

And "Moo Goo Gai Pan!"  to you!!!

This is a "Your screwed no matter which way you go." sitiuation.  You ladies know how much you hate gaining weight and quitting smoking generally means weight gain.  My wife's a typeII diabetic so she can argue the downside of diabeties and weight gain.  However,  she has lost a lot of weight in the last few years so a couple pounds wouldn't hurt her.

On the cost side,  She takes a half dozen puffs and puts out the cigarette.  Thats good for the lungs but then she doubles the amount of cigarettes she goes thru in a day.  Thats not good for her lungs or our budget.  I can't win.

Posted by: garrett at February 14, 2010 10:59 PM (UNOPX)

Me, too.  Especially after a good meal.  And in the car.

I quit a long time ago, but every once in a while...damn.

Just in case Valentines Day didn't allow some of you to keep up with the news today, Phil Jones made the headlines again in the UK:

Climategate U-turn as scientist at centre of row admits: There has been no global warming since 1995

Afraid of the 'Hot Dog in a Hallway' sensation?

Never thought of it that way, but yes I guess I am.

You know, even though I don't care about these Olympics, I love watching the athletes tear up when they hear their respective national anthems.

Of course it's much sweeter when it's USA! USA! USA!

On the cost side,  She takes a half dozen puffs and puts out the cigarette.  Thats good for the lungs but then she doubles the amount of cigarettes she goes thru in a day.  Thats not good for her lungs or our budget.  I can't win.

Posted by: Ohio Dan at February 14, 2010 11:01 PM (rurh0)

Well damn, tell her to do it gently and re-light it later.

"She has what I call a "Julia Roberts  Senor Wences' "Johnny" mouth," and I don't find JR all that hot either.

FI

(Saright!!!)

Blazer,

     You married?  Ever tell your wife what she's going to do in no uncertain terms?  How'd that work out for you?  If I thought it would work I would.  After 34 years of marriage I know better.

Toughest time for me is when I first wake up. I get a Stonewall-fast, then brew the coffee. So far, that's getting me through.

60 I think I could place higher in the rankings if I just go to the Doctor and get treated for my "sluggish cognitive blogging disorder"

Medical marijuana for YOU!

Okay since we're playing that game and amongst friends I'll go...

I miss sex....

Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at February 14, 2010 11:02 PM

Well, he's in a bind; he can admit it now, put some spin on it, and try to save face, or have it admitted for him when his various critics finish shredding his work (such as it is) and publicly point out that he's a...   What's the word I'm looking for?

Posted by: wherestherum at February 14, 2010 11:04 PM (gofDd)"

The American athletes are very tight this olympics and very very patriotic.  The flag comes right out of their back pockets when they win any medal and they drape it on themselves.  It's nice to see.

#104 Ohio Dan

If I could get her to cut back to half a pack a day,I'd worry less about her health.

I smoke a half a pack a day.

I have also had a triple by-pass, three heart attacks, and two small strokes, several other heart/blood vessel procedures, and still I smoke.

It's good of you however to go and buy her smokes.

Tell her you love her and that her funeral will be the nicest ever.

...why? Why not just finish the whole cig? She cancels out not finishing it by smoking more of them.

Didn't say it made sense.  I think all the gold, diamonds and trips to Hawaii I have lavished upon her over the years given her the impression there's no bottom to the well.  Since there has been none of that shit for the last 3 years and we are driving to Florida this year, youd think she'd get a clue.

Okay since we're playing that game and amongst friends I'll go...

I miss sex....

I do too.  I've gone all day without it.

And more than that, conscious, he admits there was a Medieval Warm Period at least in the Northern Hemisphere and parts of Asia; and that if it were proven for the Southern Hempisphere, then it would show global warming of the past 300 years wasn't unprecedented. And he basically lied said all of that important data is missing because he's an absent-minded professor. This has Lord Monckton very pleased.

I had the news muted and I just unmuted to hear this, I shit you not:

A fairytale wedding: White Castle style

???

(Coming up on Ch 5 for any of the SW Ohio peeps)

OK, What's a Stonewall?

Isn't that when you buy stuff with Confederate money?

Sorry to have been a buzz kill M&M's .  Just needed to vent.  I will start pushing the Stonewalls, whatever they are, and I appreciate your advice.

Now back to the regular programming. Sex,Bacon and Rock in roll.  Did you hear Janeane Garafalo is a vegetarian but occasionally enjoys a little bacon.  Could there be hope for her yet? Nah!

Posted by: Dr. Spank at February 14, 2010 11:12 PM (muUqs)

He's only there to view their skimpy outfits and experience the sexual tension between the figure skating couples.

Did you hear Janeane Garafalo is a vegetarian but occasionally enjoys a little bacon. 

I think there's a difference between bacon and pork, Ohio Dan.

holy shit, the black pearl is in honolulu!!

must take my girl to see it tomorrow (for those of you who watch kiddie movies)

Bacon? Eh, meh. I can do without it actually.

mghorning,

Stonewall is a hard snuff lozenge. No juice like chew or Copenhagen, etc. It just sits in the corner of your mouth and slowly dissolves. I've had one lozenge last me as long as two hours. A case of 100 is about 14-15 bucks (shipping and all). I usuallly buy three cases (300) and they last me nearly three months.

A fairytale wedding: White Castle style

???

(Coming up on Ch 5 for any of the SW Ohio peeps)

Posted by: laceyunderalls at February 14, 2010 11:14 PM (v3IE+)

Somehow I knew that was Ohio before I got to that part of your comment.

I miss sex....

whoa, lacey got married?

holy shit, the black pearl is in honolulu!!

must take my girl to see it tomorrow (for those of you who watch kiddie movies)

/jealous!!!

OhioDan,

Ariva*dot*com is a good place to start.

Did you hear Janeane Garafalo is a vegetarian but occasionally enjoys a little bacon.  Could there be hope for her yet? Nah!

There's something in my pants that will sway her.

Power of the Darkside. Bitches.

So's ya know I wasn't lying about the Garafalo / bacon connection.  She'd waste a whole pig just to get the bacon?

Good stuff about stupid shite lib celebs have said.   She's last. As it should be.

Bacon? Eh, meh. I can do without it actually.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at February 14, 2010 11:19 PM (v3IE+)

Bomb thrower.

Bacon? Eh, meh. I can do without it actually.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at February 14, 2010 11:19 PM (v3IE+)

Don't listen to her, boys.  It's just the sexual frustration talking.

wtr, i knew you would know what it is, anyone else, meh

i guess they start filming soon

And I'll kill anyone who points out my psycho typo.

i'd like to see the black pearl go up against a modern warship

boom   boom

zip (harpoon missle) sploosh glub glub

okay, maybe not

Evening, m&m's.

Hope all those with significant others had a good Valentines.

Me?

Barring any unforseen expenses between now and the time our state income tax refund arrives SWMBO has green lighted my M1 Garand purchase.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at February 14, 2010 11:23 PM (muUqs)

What the hell is with Biden's motorcade.  Did they put a snow blade on the front of an Escalade like Woody had in Zombieland?

Fresh Whipped Cream on Buttered Bourbon Pudding with a Double Americano.

...if I had a bitch I'd be smakin' ass and throwin' darts instead of hanging out with you guys!

at least with lost gone we have something else to go on

i believe he's already here on the island (depp that is) and you're right, he's the only one

Well damn, tell her to do it gently and re-light it later.

Operative word: "TELL"

HotAir has a CBS poll that shows that nine out of ten would remarry the same spouse. Men at 95% said they would marry the same woman--women at 85%. This seems hard to believe.

Going off of virtually all my friends, I know they weren't surveyed for this poll.

_{/they bitch incessantly}

Fresh Whipped Cream on Buttered Bourbon Pudding with a Double Americano.

...if I had a bitch I'd be smakin' ass and throwin' darts instead of hanging out with you guys!

Posted by: garrett at February 14, 2010 11:27 PM (UNOPX)

If I had a bitch, I'd also be smackin' some ass and I'd be using that fresh whipped cream to make it a Valentines Day for the ages...IYKWIMAITYD

Throwing darts?

Do we have to make a list of euphimisms?  _{[It will never be complete...]}

Lacey, I can see that.

As I said in my Valentine's note my life is nothing like I thought it would be when I was 18. Nor is it anything like I thought it would be when I wrote her a dorky two-page letter on our first Valentine's together 16 years ago. But I wouldn't change a thing.

HotAir has a CBS poll that shows that nine out of ten would remarry the same spouse. Men at 95% said they would marry the same woman--women at 85%. This seems hard to believe.

I was going to type a dissertation based on experience and my deep understanding of the human condition but instead will go with, "No Shit?".

210  i would absolutely marry my wife again...she's a keeper

now the other way around...her screw-up, she has to live with it

No offense, Scott, but I call bullshit.

Married people now seem more disconnected than every from their spouses. Dating websites designed for the sole purpose of helping one spouse cheat on the other. People reconnecting with past loves on facebook and dumping their spouse. On and on it goes.

It doesnt add up to me.

218, I buy her a sappy card every Valentine's and Christmas.

We first met right before Valentine's in 1993. She was coming off a bad break-up and was quite guarded. My two pages were to get her to understand I wasn't trying to be pushy at all.

She found it, the card and the gift bag (which contained purfume) in some stuff while cleaning out her craft room recently.

Can't believe she kept it all these years.

Aww, Z Ryan laying down the sentiment. You hold strong, buddy!

 But I wouldn't change a thing.

I have to call Bullshit!  You obviously got blown today.

Shennanigans, whatever...

nothing, not a single thing? 

You wouldn't have had one more cup of coffee? one more Cider Mill Doughnut?  one more romp on the pool table?  

You would have given up on the three way request with her best friend that time right when you did?  Wouldn't have pushed it just a little further to see if it panned out?

_{[C'mon...claims like that will cost you a corner off the old card. ]}

225  She's gonna bring her spiked heels and steel enforced nunchucks,

that dried blood on them, yep, mine

^{uh, honey why are you loading the shotgun?}

Re: Jennifer Garner

There was an episode of "King of the Hill" where Hank got violated by an agressive dolphin, so I'm not surprised that it happens in real life.

Hmmm. The beef 'n noodles are done, and they are fabulous!

^{*brag on yourself much Land? Why yes, yes I do*}

I don't know, Lacey. Look at how many cheat with someone who could be doppleganger for their spouse.

236 I have absolutely never seen that.

Thanks, Lacey.  Babies/children and romance are my two soft spots.

Wow dude.  Put yer Vagina away...I don't need to see that shit.

Sorry to bring my faith into this but I think so many struggle with relationships because they forget the faith aspect of it.

Those wedding vows aren't a promise to your spouse. They're a promise to God.

So, try to choose wisely who you say them about.

Unfortunately, even some who go into with that attitude don't make it.

98 Evening all.  Today is Jack Benny's 39th birthday if you didn't know.

Happy birthday, Jackson!

Climategate: Viscount Monckton Takes a Victory Lap

I will run him down on my bike, the Nazi!!!

Z is tryin' hard to get laid, tonight. 

In the end there will only be hand _{Kratos, you don't mind do you?}

Thanks, Lacey.  Babies/children and romance are my two soft spots.

Wow dude.  Put yer Vagina away...I don't need to see that shit.

agreed!!  thats some serious man-card violation shit there

YOU'RE ALL JUST JEALOUS OF MY BIG HEART-Shaped box...

it's called a Vagina.   Mons.

Sorry to bring my faith into this

Yes, actually. Please stop right there......

I thought I read that over 50% of people who got married, were divorced.

50% of marriages end in divorce, but not all marriages are first marriages. It's something like 75% of first marriages are still extant; second and third (or more) marriages by the previously-divorced end up in divorce more than first-time marriages make up the bulk of the 50% marriage failure rate.

How's Alice and the girls Phil?

I'm so glad I'm single. Seriously.

how YA doing

^{damnit, stop hitting me with that golf club, SHIT!!}

Okay, here we go.  When your married a long time and, if it is right, being married is easy.  You don't have to work on it.  It comes as naturally as the sunrise.  You are going to have arguements, even fights.   Argue points.  Don't call each other names and say hateful crap because you're too childish or inarticulate to express your frustrations. 

Your life will be redefined.  I am no longer Dan *****. I am husband, Father, even Grampa.  I love that.  That's more important than Dan ***** ever was or will be.  I wish this for everyone though I know it never will be.  It's as comfortable as a warm blanket on a cold night.  With that smaltzy stuff out of the way, I'm going to bed. I wish you all, Buona Notte
 

My wife sometimes makes joking comments about me trading her in for a young redhead.

I explain to her I'd never find one who'd put up with me.

wtr, actually, she would have my sister beat you up, she would chain you down and use razors and bleach

the woman scares me (she's getting ready for ruth cris, i don't hear heels yet but she needs to hurry, our dinner is at

Someone say SLAYER!!!!

???????????????????????

gotta go

happy vd to all

laters

 With superhuman strength, borne of fury, and cutting firewood, lifting sacks of feed, and bales of hay, she dragged him down the stairs, out the back door, and into the barn. 

   
She put his manhood in a vice and then secured it tightly and removed the handle.   Next she picked up an old carpenters saw.

The banged up cheater was terrified, and hollered, "Stop ! Stop ! You not gonna cut it off with that rusty saw, are you?"

The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, put the saw in her husbands hand and said....... "Nope....You are!  I'm gonna burn down the Barn!!!" 

...and since someone said God or somethin' like that.

_{This one makes me think of Kratos.  Where is that goofball?}

251 YOU'RE ALL JUST JEALOUS OF MY BIG HEART

Exactly.

277 The "other" Kratos is an impostor.  I'm the real deal baby!

What?!?!

The thing is Rum, when you've been single as long as I have, you get used to doing things your way. You've had sole domain over your residence, your schedule, your recreation, your entertainment and use of spare time, that you just don't want to change that. And if you "hook up" that is likely going to be required. If I met someone who was exactly like me in those regards maybe it would work, but there is about as much chance of that happening as a three-legged horse winning the Kentuck Derby.

283    Fuckin' a Right.

I dub thee ZMons until you snap out of this pussified state.

Question: Do you believe in love at first sight?

Answer: Yes, it happens to me every day.

BTW, Dan, my wife quit smoking for me back when we were just dating.

Not because I asked but just because she saw how much it bugged me.

Kind of pushed me over the edge for realizing she might be "the one".

My love anthem.

/low tolerance for bullshit

What if I answered a booty call?  Would that get me my man card back?

Please some say ,"Yes!"

There are 300 million peole in the US alone.

If you think there is just "one" out there, you're kind of deluded.

The Force is strong with some morons tonight!

It means like compromise and stuff

Indeed it does. There's quite a bit of selflessness involved. A quality not very valued in our society these days.

But the rewards can be worth it.

Without my wife I'd probably still live in a trailer but own a Testarossa. Yeah, my priorities were a bit whacked.

Posted by: Dang Straights at February 15, 2010 12:06 AM (JUyOz)

It must be "Valentines Day Syndrome"

Love Anthem

And tomorrow is President's day. No mail. No banks. No government offices open (a good thing). But over all, this farkin' country has too many farkin' holidays.

Geeez.

and a little one for my buddy ZMONS!!

_{[...fleshy flap-valve navigator!]}

Posted by: Z Ryan at February 14, 2010 11:19 PM (cMo6P)

They put a lot more shit in smokes now than they did back in the day.

Bacon is sexy.

Sure rum, there's like, nobody lookin'.

Posted by: Z Ryan at February 15, 2010 12:17 AM (cMo6P)

All the married morons and moronettes are busy getting their Valentines Day "present" IYKWIMAITYD

Posted by: wherestherum at February 15, 2010 12:18 AM (gofDd)

BUNK!

Wow.  Where the fuck is Hillary with a ' Reset ' button when you need it?

Ture Love, Babies, Marriage to God...I'm not down with this - Man!

It's a Fuckin' ONT make wit teh Boobies and talk of felatio and kittehs!!!

Where are the Fuckin' Kittehs???

Lingerie pics like this one?

Meh, that's minor league stuff. We're more innyrested in your major league hotness.

_{*flattery--will it work? Stay tuned!*}

I really ought to go to bed but I'm such a weather junkie I want to stay up and watch our forecast Winter storm unfold.

They've mentioned the possibility of thundersnow. I have never seen that.

Posted by: Lincoln Adams at February 14, 2010 11:50 PM (UqJ8A)

Sounds like  your soul mate talking there Rum.  Happy Chinese New Year.

I would definitely marry my current (second) wife again, but I would skip on the first.

340, how about humor?

Last night my wife's idea of foreplay was "You comin' to bed? I'm not waiting up for you all night."

Here is a lucky kitteh. (Borrowed from Magoo.)

http://tinyurl.com/y9twr3w

They've mentioned the possibility of thundersnow. I have never seen that.

and you never will, retard.

I really ought to go to bed but I'm such a weather junkie I want to stay up and watch our forecast Winter storm unfold.

They've mentioned the possibility of thundersnow. I have never seen that.

Posted by: Scott J. at February 15, 2010 12:21 AM (wUV9A)

Weather Channel used to run a commercial of two big burly guys in a bar, behaving as though they're watching a football game, faces all painted up - but they had cold fronts on their face instead of team colors, and watching a local forecast. 

Thundersnow was a Mel Gibson movie, right?

Posted by: wherestherum at February 15, 2010 12:25 AM (gofDd)

I'll raise you one Florida Cheerleader: http://tinypic.com/r/63sl5f/6

Dude it's thunder...you hear it.  Lighten up.

Here's Some Maiden.  Proven to loosen sand from manpanties.

Try it out zmons...

Posted by: wherestherum at February 15, 2010 12:31 AM (gofDd)

"Raise" was the key word.  Bless you.

Dammit!

Aces High

Posted by: Z Ryan at February 15, 2010 12:15 AM (cMo6P)

That helps too. My dad smoked Pall Mall reds for years. Switched to a pipe when I went into service in 1980. He finally quit around 87-88. He'd been smoking since he was around 15 before WW2. Now if only I could quit.

What conscious said.

I had a next door neighbor that used to smoke my pipe all the time. But then she moved away. Bitch.

I'll bring back my girl on the beach picture from a few nights ago:

http://tinypic.com/r/34nicqv/6

I'm only interested in the lacy black articles of clothing she's wearing (don't listen to a word I'm saying)

Posted by: Z Ryan at February 15, 2010 12:37 AM (cMo6P)

That is one of the best smells on earth...loved it when my grandpa would light it up.

I would definitely marry my current (second) wife again, but I would skip on the first.

Posted by: GreenGasEmissions at February 15, 2010 12:23 AM (xa1/W)

I told hubby that I'd marry him all over again - if, that is, I didn't have the option of staying single.

(Sorry, had a crappy valentines day...)

Ah, pipe smoke. Just break out the pipes, tweed jackets, ales, & manuscripts & it'll be like a meeting of the Inklings.

Posted by: GreenGasEmissions at February 15, 2010 12:43 AM (xa1/W)

Dude, it's your pipe. Just keep it in private, hokay?

Posted by: wherestherum at February 15, 2010 12:48 AM (gofDd)

Her ass cheeks are hanging out?...oh yeah, they actually are.

what do you think of the lacey black bottoms that girl on the beach is wearing?

Not a fan

Alright girl, we need to have a  serioud heart-to-heart 

Spanx. Just what I need--something to accentuate my beer paunch.

No six-pack here. I'm sportin' a keg.

what do you think of the lacey black bottoms that girl on the beach is wearing?

 I think Ijust broke my nose on the monitor!

what do you think of the lacey black bottoms that girl on the beach is wearing?

Not a fan

Alright girl, we need to have a  serioud heart-to-heart 

Posted by: laceyunderalls at February 15, 2010 12:49 AM (v3IE+)

I think the lacey design of the material and the fact that they are black is incredibly sexy.  Maybe it's actually lingerie.  I may just have to bunk myself.

what do you think of the lacey black bottoms that girl on the beach is wearing?

 I think Ijust broke my nose on the monitor!

those are obviously a bit small for her...but all the more easy for me to cough them up in the morning.

I would crawl through broken glass to kiss that ass through a screened door.

403 Now if that's not the sweetest thing I've heard today!!

Be mine?

My keyboard was in my lap and suddenly began to levitate. It's magic I tell ya!

Be mine?

Posted by: laceyunderalls at February 15, 2010 12:58 AM (v3IE+)

Say yes!

Be mine?

Shhhhhh....don't ruin this morons...just let it happen.

O/T, but I read the comments on that Charlie Gasparino story and the Yahoo robots are now saying that now the rest of the conservatives should now leave CNBC and are thrilled at the idea.

Left wing stock investors. How fucking stupid can you get?

411 WTR, talk more about your undies.

You Made A Vow!!!

Speaking of broken glass and screened windows, that first pic of Sasha Cohen doin' the spread thingy makes me think of places I'd...like to explore. You might even say I would dive in head first.

Posted by: Z Ryan at February 15, 2010 01:03 AM (cMo6P)

You better.  You're walking on thin ice.

Jacqueline Paisley Passey, today:

http://tinyurl.com/yk67gb8

But where are the snows of yester-year.

409 Girl Valentines > boy Valentines.

You won't be checking out anyone else. Plus we can go shoe shopping! Then we come home and braid each other's hair as we talk about the boys we like!

Posted by: wherestherum at February 15, 2010 01:05 AM (gofDd)

Yes! Preferably black or red or pink or blue or white or ....

Posted by: wherestherum at February 15, 2010 01:07 AM (gofDd)

metaphorically speaking of course....

Okay since we're playing that game and amongst friends I'll go...I miss sex....

sigh... HELLO to fellow morons, do I have to stamp it on your foreheads?  There are moronettes who just may enjoy a bit of Moron hospitality?  I am married, but sure as the sun comes up, it's nice to Feel The Love.  heh
Oh yes, and Gung Hay Fat to wherestherum and anyone else who wants to celebrate the New Year.  As is required of membership of AofSHQ  I am  all about The Party so hug and kiss like you want to.

Think pink.

If my tongue gets any bigger, I'm gonna lose my ability to draw air.

_{*please, please, please, pillow-fighty thing in lengerie*}

I have been to probably 50 slumber parties in my day. You know pillow fights don't actually happen right? Right?

Killjoy lacey strikes again

If my tongue gets any bigger, I'm gonna lose my ability to draw air.

_{*please, please, please, pillow-fighty thing in lengerie*}

Posted by: Land of Leakin at February 15, 2010 01:12 AM (AMYl0)

A fast and excellent treatent for a swollen tongue is to dip it in cider for a couple of minutes.  The swelling will go away in no time at all.

Posted by: Those Irish people at February 15, 2010 12:49 AM (YX6i/)

I love a correct & witty reference.

438,

Yes! Yes! Don't stop now! *pant, pant*

*picks up pillow, contemplates*

Do it and die, bitch

Are you talkin' about the kind of cider I'm thinkin' of--cuz it don't come from apples.

I have been to probably 50 slumber parties in my day. You know pillow fights don't actually happen right? Right?

Killjoy lacey strikes again

Posted by: laceyunderalls at February 15, 2010 01:14 AM (v3IE+)

But Kratos will confirm that it happens in the movies all the time.  You're going to destroy his perception of reality.

mmm, Tanith Belbin.

445,

Atta girl! ^{*oh my God, yes. It's almost on!*}

Boy shorts (& any variation thereof) are awesome!

+1 _{in pink because they're pretty in pink}

garret,

USA olympic hotties are gold-medal quality. Me like. Me like a lot.

Now back to your regularly scheduled clique.

Get it straight. We're a gang, damn it. I thought the science was settled on this.

459,

Me! Me! I'm right here! Sit on my chest and smack me with a pillow 'til you collapse! _{*pleeeeeeeeeeeease*}

_{Posted by: Miss'80sBaby brings the TMI at February 15, 2010 01:18 AM (sZ+lP)}

460,

Pics? We could offer opinions on how effective they might be.

Yeah, we're consultants, that's it.

I did wear just-in-case fancy red underwear with black lace trim and I'll probably sleep in it as I'm too tired to undo all the snaps and buckles and ties.

You just lay there and I'll take care of those pesky snaps and such...

462 I am interested in your Epistemy.  Do you have any literature available?

Well, there are the white ones with red bows, blue ones with silver trim, pink ones with pink bows, lavender with gold trim, black with red bows, do you get the idea?

Well, there are the white ones with red bows, blue ones with silver trim, pink ones with pink bows, lavender with gold trim, black with red bows, do you get the idea?

Posted by: Miss'80sBaby brings the TMI at February 15, 2010 01:31 AM (sZ+lP)

All of the above...

Well, there are the white ones with red bows, blue ones with silver trim, pink ones with pink bows, lavender with gold trim, black with red bows, do you get the idea?

I am dedicated to serving in your Temple.

From Hot Air by way of Facebook. One of the coldest rejections I've ever seen: http://tinyurl.com/y9ez5mw

469 I am dedicated to serving in your Temple.

Ooooh, me likey. But, Aren't you afraid of me carrying your soul off to Hades?

/hey, somebody had to say it for him

471,

Sooner or later one of those were destined to fail. I kinda feel sorry for the guy, but this whole public proposal thing has been getting a little old for me.

474 Don't do it.  It's clear Miss'80sBaby has only Kratos on her mind.

I thought I was also your consort, or something. Remember that one deal we struck on the ONT?

Aren't you afraid of me carrying your soul off to Hades?

If you are wearing boy shorts, my soul will follow obediently accross the river Styxx and beyond.

I have no defense for boyshorts.

[ Add Glasses and I am like Zmons around an infant.]

Posted by: Z Ryan at February 15, 2010 01:37 AM (cMo6P)

It's Valentines Day and Kratos is coincidently absent.  Is he holed-up in some room with a garlic necklace, wooden cross and stake at the ready, or has he already been captured and being slowly tortured?

481 474 It's Valentines Day and Kratos is coincidently absent.  Is he holed-up in some room with a garlic necklace, wooden cross and stake at the ready, or has he already been captured and being slowly tortured?

What sayeth the Rum?

476 Your corporeal body may serve me on this plane, but in your heart there is only Chaos.

Don't be so sure about the 2nd part.

I am. Always wear glasses, too--they're rose pink transparent but modern.

You know that I am in love with you now.  I shall have to slay Kratos.  There can be no other way.

I am. Always wear glasses, too--they're rose pink transparent but modern.

I shall build you a Tomb worthy of your Boy Shorts. 

I will fill it with all that you may desire in this and any life that follows. 

A library of Books and Scrolls, knowledge of the ages to guide you through all of time.

I will decorate more ornately than that of Nefertari.

I will dedicate my every waking hour to its perfection.

For certainly the visage of your boyshort clad ass is eternal.

Forever I shall worship at your altar.

Like, if you have the ones bottom-left, then added a bit of the '50s cat-eye edge.

Oh, heck, here's me 3 yrs ago: http://tinyurl.com/yfjevrq

My boyshort clad ass is not worthy.

It is worthy of that and more, Mistress.

All who disparage your Countenance shall feel my wrath.

Their Souls I shall make into the finest shimmering Opals so that they may forever compliment your beauty.

I live only to worship your Boyshorts.

492 490 My boyshort clad ass is not worthy.

I think one person in particular would disagree even though he'll never cop to it.

/here let me pour glue in your Trapper Keeper and spit gum in your hair

yawn

A long, long time ago, when I could still remember...

I am working on the Temple to 80sbaby's Boyshorts.

Rome...a day, and all that.

500 < is me perfecting my haughty librarian look. Miss that Pink Panther shirt.

Okay, enough self-promoting.

 I just want a boring old 9-5 job that I can walk out the door at 5 pm. Is that so much to ask?

You should never have not started working here!  Worst career decision you never did make.

Posted by: wherestherum at February 15, 2010 02:14 AM (gofDd)

Some people are workaholics or they're just lonely on Valentines Day.

You should never have not started working here!  Worst career decision you never did make.

Posted by: garrett's paper company at February 15, 2010 02:17 AM (UNOPX)

I thought this was Dunder Mifflin!

_{Too bad logprof isn't here.}

that I can walk out the door at 5 pm.

I'm a dedicated second-shifter. If they offered me a day job it would have to come with a hefty raise or I would turn it down. I have already let someone else have a day job that was mine if I wanted it (6:30-3:00, ugh!) I loves me second shift life.

Second shift at my gig gets a paid lunch break. We are there from 3-11. Third shift is 11-6:30, so they are at work for 37 1/2 hours and get a paid lunch break. (We get 40 hours pay.) They do that because the "premium" for working off shifts is a joke and they know it. Second shift gets a lesser premium than the thirds do, except for me. I am considered to be the second/third shift coordinator (foreman), so they give me the third shift premium as well. It works.

One of the things I really love about second shift is I can get up in time to get a lot of things done and still make it to work on time--without having to hear an alarm clock. I hate alarm clocks.

Yeah rummy, I'll get up early to go to the track, but that's about it. I golf in the afternoon or evening. I work in the evening. I have no use for early morning activity. My folks were the exact opposite--hit the ground running at sun up. Yuck.

Posted by: chemjeff at February 15, 2010 02:36 AM (Gk/wA)

Save yourself some time and give them all a B+

Posted by: Z Ryan at February 15, 2010 02:40 AM (cMo6P

If you're getting a booty call and don't want to drive, have a cab take you there.  Never, ever, ever pass up a booty call.

Normal people wake up at 10:30.

Well I usually get up around 9:30, which I guess means that I'm somewhat abnormal. But then I've always known that.

 And frankly, I embrace it.

I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate grading papers
I loathe, detest, abhor, and curse the thought of grading papers

Go to the highest floor in the building. 

Toss all of your papers down the stairwell. 

Walk down the stairs, and assign a grade to each paper as you pick it up.

  Note its location, appearance, and give it the grade it asks for. [ If you find it looks good hanging from the handrail on the fifth floor and the only word that catches your eye when you reach for it is 'frenulum', feel free to give it an 'A'.]

Done.

If you're getting a booty call and don't want to drive, have a cab take you there.  Never, ever, ever pass up a booty call.

I'm not that kind of girl.

And there goes the man card! Wow, what an explosion! "Nucular" in proportion.

until we're sure he's sober and/or on site at the bootycall premises.

He gets no such thing. 

If it 'sparkles' with the boys I think ZMons needs a timeout to contemplate his lack of man credentials.

537,

NO.

520 god I hate grading papers
I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate grading papers
I loathe, detest, abhor, and curse the thought of grading papers

Makes me really look forward to the absolute joy of doing that semester. ITA with garrett--scatter them, chemjeff.

Listen to the words. This is the kind of woman that I want: http://tinyurl.com/yhcgqzb

I couldn't be a teacher. I would have comments like, "Are you really this fucking stupid?"

"What is your address? I need to see to it that your parents are hanged."

"Promise me your stupid ass won't procreate."

"Have your parents always been Democrats?"

Posted by: wherestherum at February 15, 2010 03:03 AM (gofDd)

I wouldn't mind being a student in your class.  I'm always up for a good beating.

I love visiting profs when they're grading papers. Best one in the last little while was a multiple choice in which the kid was given A, B, C, or D; he chose X. Sophmore in college. i think my friend laughed b/c he would otherwise be beating his head on his desk.

yeah thanks for the 'helpful' grading suggestions

believe me, I've already contemplated them all

and yeah, it takes patience (and a fear of students complaining to the Dean) to avoid lashing out at the truly stupid ones.

but the worst part, though, are those students who aren't stupid, but who think they are.  you have to give them lots of support.

I love visiting profs when they're grading papers.  Posted by: Miss'80sBaby

So that's how you did so well in school.

Posted by: FUBAR at February 15, 2010 03:09 AM (1fanL)

This is obviously a very competitive group.  However, Rum's domination as of late as been unprecedented.

Rummy,

Discipline is sadly missing in today's classrooms. I would return it-with a vengeance. Because of PC laws and philosophies, kids have no fear of reprimand. How I wish to change that; in a very personal way.

Posted by: chemjeff at February 15, 2010 03:17 AM (Gk/wA)

Outside of your pay grade, I'm sure.

Slip slidin' away. Slip slidin' awaaay.

Night 'Rons and 'Rettes. I'm gonna pack it in. 9:30 comes early in the morn.

Rum, are ya still out there?

553 So that's how you did so well in school.

hahahaha, i wish. no, i was the overanalytical one who unnecessarily wrote dissertations. no one could deny it was qulity work, though. [incidentally, my nickname in college was hermione granger.]

Why yes, there you are at 567. My Valentines Verse to you m'lady--compliments of L. Cohen.

Touch me with your naked hand,

touch me with your glove.

Dance me to the end of love.

'Til next weekend, I bid you adieu, my liege.

Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at February 15, 2010 03:28 AM (sZ+lP)

It's waaay past your bedtime, young lady.  My nickname in college was Perseus.

I love on visiting profs when they're grading papers.  Posted by: Miss'80sBaby

FIFY.

only the visiting ones?

575 It's waaay past your bedtime, young lady.  My nickname in college was Perseus.

Riiiight. All those beheadings & things.

574 me want

Good Choice.  Hard to find something superior without dropping an additional 1200 or so.

I have had an MMF - 5 Since they first came out.  Bombproof  and amazing performance.  That will be the last one you need buy without hittin' the lottery...

587

"Hey it's somejoe!"

- Like that?

Good Choice.  Hard to find something superior without dropping an additional 1200 or so.

I have had an MMF - 5 Since they first came out.  Bombproof  and amazing performance.  That will be the last one you need buy without hittin' the lottery...

Posted by: garrett at February 15, 2010 03:39 AM (UNOPX)

I own a 2.2LE for listening (plus a pair of 1200s for parties). I would really love to upgrade. Of course, if I had the money, I'd buy an overpriced turntable from Goldmund

Posted by: chemjeff at February 15, 2010 03:38 AM (Gk/wA)

Haha.  Low-level quantum chemist.  If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were fishing for compliments.

Posted by: s☺mej☼e at February 15, 2010 03:44 AM (8zQxF)

LOSER!  How do you pronounce that anyway?

"Hey it's somejoe!"

- Like that?

LOSER!  How do you pronounce that anyway?

Posted by: FUBAR at February 15, 2010 03:49 AM (1fanL)

FUBAR  (foo-bahr).   carries a hash of (1fanL).  

OKay, if I do not go to bed now I will not be able to function in the morning.

Good night.

O/T, but I read the comments on that Charlie Gasparino story and the Yahoo robots are now saying that now the rest of the conservatives should now leave CNBC and are thrilled at the idea.

Left wing stock investors. How fucking stupid can you get?

Good night chemjeff !  _{^{(all done with grading?)}}

Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at February 15, 2010 03:28 AM (sZ+lP)

It's waaay past your bedtime, young lady.  My nickname in college was Perseus.

Posted by: FUBAR at February 15, 2010 03:33 AM (1fanL)

My nickname in college was...wait...I didn't go to college!

Elitists!

God Morning Morons

re Scrunt story and the Marine

The world abounds with beatches like that one. That was one of the reasons I remained single the entire time I was in the Navy with no thought of any kind of a permanent hook-up. I had seen some horror stories during my time in the Navy.  Horror stories from both sides of the fence as well.

As for nicknames, in the Navy mine was "Grit".  It came when I first reported on board. The first thing anyone asks you when reporting to a new command is "where ya from". When I repsonded Georgia, the guy (who was from OK) said "Oh no, not another %*() grit". My response was "hell yeah, and don't you forget it".

My home Internet's "down" (I think my ISP got sick of me downloading several MBs of pron every day), so I have to use teh "work" Internets.  Rum didn't torture me last night, as the Head of Helios will keep her and lacey way if they should ever attempt such an act. 

Anyways, garrett, have you never figured that the consort of Hades just wants your soul for her master?  I can't stop you from making a huge mistake.  Still, if I see your soul in Tartarus, when I start jouring down there after March 16th, I'll set you free.  I've been getting lots of practice doing that while playing Dante's Inferno.

re:  Scrunt and the Marine

I'm with Vic.  I've seen this type of behavior during my time in the Air Force.  Saw it in my own life too--my Mom walked out on my Dad when she suddenly realized how brilliant she was thanks to going to community college.  While he wasn't in the military, he spent man-years on the road as a salesman to provide for us; I've never been able to really forgive my Mom for what she did.    

“Didn’t Acorn, the corrupt community organizer, get its federal funding yanked after its last scandal? Actually, no. Through municipal middlemen, it’s poised to rake in another $4 billion. Where is the outrage?”

http://tinyurl.com/ygbwpks

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