August 05, 2010

Pat Caddell: American Badass
— Ace

It's not exactly "Cool Facts" per se but it's sort of the same idea. It's a lot of Pat Caddell quotes and tactics and sex-secrets.

So far: 396 It's time to start nominating candidates, holding elections, then disemboweling the losers.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 11:00 PM (xO+6C)

...

398 Reason is for the weak.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 11:02 PM (xO+6C)

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400 You don't talk to Pat Caddell, you listen to him, man.

Posted by: toby928 at August 05, 2010 11:04 PM (8/oOq)

.

401 Pat Caddell told me there could be an entire, tiny universe in my thumbnail.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at August 05, 2010 11:06 PM (Wh0W+)

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402 Pat Caddell believes in 3 things : murder, revolution and Basil Marceaux.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 11:08 PM (xO+6C)

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403 And rape. Sweet, sexy rape.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 11:10 PM (xO+6C)

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406 400 Toby,

Pat has given his forecast for the mules this fall...."future is cloudy with a 99% chance of pain"
Posted by: sven10077 at August 05, 2010 11:13 PM (kq1lG)

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408 Did Caddell mention that John has a long mustache?

Posted by: gebrauchshund at August 05, 2010 10:55 PM (ADeN1)

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412 I killed six German sons-a-bitches armed with only a knife and my teeth.

1992. World Cup Semi-Finals.

Google it, bitch. Made all the papers.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 11:26 PM (KUUXH)

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413 There are two kinds of men in the world: Men with guns, and men who get down on their knees and suck me off.

Do you have a gun?

No?

Me neither. Whew! I guess we're both safe!

Nah I'm just fucking with you. I *do* have a gun. Now suck my dick.


Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 11:31 PM (KUUXH)

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414 I came to be interviewed, kick ass, and chew bubblegum. And I'm all out of bubblegum.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 11:32 PM (HtIec)

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417 I've only got two speeds: Full-Tilt and Balls-Out.

Balls-Out is ten percent faster. But they're both fuckin' fast.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 11:35 PM (KUUXH)

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418
My goatee is bloodied, the revolution has started!

Posted by: Pat Caddell's bloody nose at August 05, 2010 11:35 PM (IRwVS)

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419 When Pat Caddell makes love to a woman, Pat Caddell wants her to know she's been with a *man.* That she's been dominated. That she's been made a whore.

That's what every woman secretly wants.

That, and shoes. Shoes I don't have.

But the other thing? *Covered.*

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 11:38 PM (KUUXH)

Posted by: Ace at 07:45 PM | Comments (540)
Post contains 470 words, total size 3 kb.

1 Pat Caddell put Baby in a corner. She's still there.

Posted by: eman at August 05, 2010 07:47 PM (9Ep/N)

2 Every man chooses his own manner of death. Tonight, you chose me.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 07:48 PM (KUUXH)

3 I endorsed Mike Huckabee in 2008, in 2010 I'm endorsing whoever the hell Pat Caddell tells me to.

Posted by: Chuck Norris at August 05, 2010 07:48 PM (IRwVS)

4 Attack ships on fire off the Shoulder of Orion?

That's right, Pat Caddell did it.

Posted by: EC at August 05, 2010 07:50 PM (iWj1i)

5 Pat Caddell doesn't get crabs. Pat Caddell gets alligators.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 07:50 PM (KUUXH)

6 Little old lady got mutilated late last night.

Pat Caddell again.

Posted by: EC at August 05, 2010 07:50 PM (iWj1i)

7 Chuck Norris owns and wears Pat Cadell pyjamas .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at August 05, 2010 07:51 PM (NuAIL)

8  

Posted by: Pat Caddell channeling Charles Bronson at August 05, 2010 07:51 PM (HtIec)

9

Pat met Superman a few years back.

Pat said, "Hey Superman, I'd like you to teach me how to fly, but first, you will blow me!"

Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at August 05, 2010 07:52 PM (YVZlY)

10 In Russia, Pat Caddell overthrows you!

Posted by: Yakov Smirnoff at August 05, 2010 07:52 PM (IRwVS)

11 After that I asked Pat Caddell if I could buy some pot from him.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at August 05, 2010 07:52 PM (Wh0W+)

12 JIMMY CARTER: In a nation that was once proud of hard work, strong families, close-knit communities, and our faith in God, too many of us now worship Pat Caddell.

RABBIT ASSASSIN leaps into frame.

Posted by: oblig. at August 05, 2010 07:53 PM (x7Ao8)

13 In Star Trek the original series, Evil Spock with the goatee was modeled after the most evil and awesome thing in the universe- Pat Caddell.

Posted by: Jollyroger at August 05, 2010 07:54 PM (XY3P4)

14

Pat Caddell just emailed me to say that he can leap tall buildings and bust two nuts with a single hand!


Posted by: sartana at August 05, 2010 07:54 PM (nak8P)

15 We have nothing to fear but Pat Caddell.

Posted by: FDR at August 05, 2010 07:54 PM (HtIec)

16 Pat Caddell asked ME to the Sadie Hawkins Dance.

Posted by: Mrs. Cadell at August 05, 2010 07:55 PM (Xpxvu)

17 When Pat Caddell starts talking about "oversampling", you better start backin up slowly.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at August 05, 2010 07:55 PM (Wh0W+)

18 I'd like to promise you I won't kill you tonight. But my momma told me never to lie.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 07:56 PM (KUUXH)

19 I once had a cougar-off with Dick Cheney.  It was a tie.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 07:56 PM (yT8z7)

20 Bob Wills thinks Pat Caddell is the King.

Posted by: garrett at August 05, 2010 07:57 PM (VTbuB)

21 "That's one small step for man; one giant leap for..Dammit! Pat's already been here!"

Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at August 05, 2010 07:57 PM (YVZlY)

22 I have chunks of guys like Obama in my stool.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 07:58 PM (HtIec)

23 Pat Caddell was the sole survivor of the Night of the Sodomizing Cougar Man.

Posted by: gebrauchshund at August 05, 2010 07:58 PM (ADeN1)

24
Pat Caddell is everything Chuck Todd wishes he could be.


Posted by: sartana at August 05, 2010 07:58 PM (nak8P)

25 Pat Caddell splits atoms. With his MIND!

Posted by: Techie at August 05, 2010 07:58 PM (zbH+i)

26

  An abortion doctor tried to killFred Thompson Pat Caddell when he was still in the womb, but he cut off the man's hand with scalpel while shouting, "Do you know who I am? I'mFred Thompson Pat Caddell!

Thanks to imao.us for that Fred Thompson fact.  It was always my favorite.  I have no doubt it applies to Caddell as well.

Posted by: Delta Smelt at August 05, 2010 07:59 PM (IRwVS)

27

Pat Caddell has warned us before about over-educated elites.

 

 

Posted by: Dave in Texas at August 05, 2010 07:59 PM (Wh0W+)

28 Pat Caddell plays keep-away with Thor's hammer. " I just like to watch the bitch jump for it"

Posted by: eman at August 05, 2010 08:00 PM (9Ep/N)

29 You remember when Bush stared into Putin's eyes? Yeah, he saw Pat Caddell!

Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at August 05, 2010 08:00 PM (YVZlY)

30 PAt Caddell once thought he was mistaken, but he was wrong...

Posted by: IP Freely at August 05, 2010 08:01 PM (zL/eJ)

31 The tide that Keith Olberman could not push back was Pat Cadell.

Posted by: Tommy V at August 05, 2010 08:01 PM (qU57d)

32 VERONICA: "Why are you such a mega-bitch, Pat Caddell?" PAT CADDELL: "Because I can be."

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:01 PM (KUUXH)

33

Megyn Kelly?  Hit it.

 

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:01 PM (IRwVS)

34 I heard the FBI is still looking for Patrick Cadell.

Posted by: t-bone at August 05, 2010 08:02 PM (Xpxvu)

35

Bob Dole wishes Bob Dole was Pat Caddell.


Posted by: sartana at August 05, 2010 08:02 PM (nak8P)

36 Pat Caddell once took my Eggos and put his dick in my oatmeal...and I thanked him for it.

Posted by: Wilford Brimley at August 05, 2010 08:03 PM (VTbuB)

37 Pat Caddell invented crack. He's a giver.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:03 PM (xO+6C)

38 The story was that Qaddafi disarmed after seeing what happened in Iraq.

The truth is, Pat Caddell sent him a goatee trimming. Nothing more needed to be said.

Posted by: tmi3rd at August 05, 2010 08:04 PM (WRtsc)

39 Pat Caddell wore out two Ugly Sticks on Helen Thomas and said, "Yeah, that'll do just fine"

Posted by: eman at August 05, 2010 08:04 PM (9Ep/N)

40  

Once we get through with the 80's, the 90's will make the 50's look like the 60's.

Posted by: Pat Caddell- NewYearsEve1989 at August 05, 2010 08:04 PM (nak8P)

41 Even I wouldn't argue with Pat Caddell.
Pat tells you to shut up and listen, you turn Fritz and say Shhh.

Posted by: Bob Beckel at August 05, 2010 08:05 PM (xXyXP)

42 Death.
Taxes.
Pat Caddell.




Posted by: Lee Reynolds at August 05, 2010 08:05 PM (/gY4D)

43 Pat Caddell told me that when I die, on my deathbed, I will receive total consciousness.  So I got that goin for me, which is nice.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at August 05, 2010 08:06 PM (Wh0W+)

44 When Pat Cadell looks into the abyss, the abyss nervously averts its gaze.

Posted by: Waterhouse at August 05, 2010 08:06 PM (JahR7)

45

Show me your war face Pat.

No! Your real war face!

 

You're not scaring me...work on it.

Posted by: unknown jane at August 05, 2010 08:06 PM (5/yRG)

46 Let me tell you about Pat Caddell's apartment. Pat Caddell's apartment has three rooms for visitors. The first room is a sexual assault room. I'm not gonna lie: I'm gonna put you in here and rape you. That's that. No use crying over it. The second room is a sexaul assault recovery room. In this room I put on a white lab coat and talk to you about your feelings about my just having raped you. I try to counsel you, try to get you to blame the real culprit, like, your parents, or yourself. The third is special. In this room I also wear a white labcoat. This room is *fake* recovery room which is actually a fresh sexual assault room. In this room I pretend I want to hear about your fucking feelings, then I strip off the lab coat, and rape you again. I also have a den but that's just got books in it.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:06 PM (KUUXH)

47 IÂ’m good enough, IÂ’m smart enough, and dog-gone it, Pat Caddell hates me.

Posted by: Stuart Smalley at August 05, 2010 08:06 PM (HtIec)

48 An anagram for my name is "but first, you will blow me".

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:07 PM (yT8z7)

49 Pat Caddell's goatee beat the shit out of me.

Posted by: Martin Van Buren's sideburns at August 05, 2010 08:07 PM (IRwVS)

50 Pat Caddell taught me everything I know about fine cigars.

Posted by: Bill Clinton at August 05, 2010 08:07 PM (VTbuB)

51  
Wilford Brimley at August 06, 2010 12:03 AM (VTbuB)

- Fucking Mozart


Posted by: sartana at August 05, 2010 08:07 PM (nak8P)

52 Pat Caddell likes to go to the zoo and punch out the elephants.

Posted by: eman at August 05, 2010 08:07 PM (9Ep/N)

53 Petraeus' red phone goes directly to Pat Caddell, who sits behind the larger desk in the Oval Office.

Posted by: t-bone at August 05, 2010 08:08 PM (Xpxvu)

54 Pat Caddell made me so jealous i bought a dick pump!

Posted by: Dick Cheney at August 05, 2010 08:09 PM (gg4j2)

55 Only one person has more Sacred Honor that Will Folks and that's Pat Cadell.

Posted by: robtr at August 05, 2010 08:09 PM (fwSHf)

56 Okay, #46 was good.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at August 05, 2010 08:10 PM (xO+6C)

57 Newest AoS coblogger causes national stir before his first post?

Posted by: mesablue at August 05, 2010 08:10 PM (AUndp)

58 With talent on loan from Pat Caddell.

Posted by: Rush Limbaugh at August 05, 2010 08:10 PM (IRwVS)

59 I gave Charlie Gibson that "never heard of it" line just to fuck with him.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:10 PM (yT8z7)

60 Pat Caddell on Obama: Are we friends? Yes. Do we talk? No.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at August 05, 2010 08:10 PM (Wh0W+)

61 Pat Caddell found a WMD in Iraq. But it was just a mirror.

Posted by: Tommy V at August 05, 2010 08:11 PM (qU57d)

62  

We both know you want it from Pat Caddell.

What Pat Caddell knows that you don't know is that you want it up the butt from Pat Caddell.


Posted by: sartana at August 05, 2010 08:11 PM (nak8P)

63 I once thought Pat Caddell would tickle me but first I had to blow him

Posted by: Elmo at August 05, 2010 08:11 PM (gg4j2)

64 This is America. In America, first you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the women.

Well, you do. I skip directly to step 3.

Posted by: Pat Cadell at August 05, 2010 08:11 PM (JahR7)

65 Jack Palance envies my crap .

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:12 PM (NuAIL)

66 I can see Pat Caddell from my house.

Posted by: Sarah Palin at August 05, 2010 08:12 PM (HtIec)

67 Pat Caddell once reached into his swim trunks and pulled out a 30-foot Great White Shark and said, "That's what that fucking itch was!"

Posted by: eman at August 05, 2010 08:12 PM (9Ep/N)

68 Unlike Al Gore and Mel Gibson, I don't have to give women orders.  They do what comes naturally.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:13 PM (IRwVS)

69 Pat Caddell's polling  convinced Fritz Mondale to  make me the first women on a major party presidential ticket in history.

Pat Caddell's poll made me forget we lost 49 states.

Posted by: Geraldine Ferraro at August 05, 2010 08:13 PM (xXyXP)

70 I worship Pat Caddell.

(And to RuPaul Revere, wherever you are... you can blow me!)

Posted by: Dennis Hopper at August 05, 2010 08:13 PM (qQ0A1)

71 King James LeBron dribbles my balls!

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:13 PM (gg4j2)

72 Pat Caddell keeps the national economy of Thailand afloat single-handedly. It's a hard job.

Posted by: Techie at August 05, 2010 08:14 PM (zbH+i)

73 Another one under the bus.

She is a laughing stock.  She probably ruined her career in education.  What student can ever take her class, having watched her antics on CNBC, and, take her seriously or respect her?

Posted by: curious at August 05, 2010 08:15 PM (p302b)

74 On a first date, Pat Caddell took Gaia to a forest fire.

Posted by: eman at August 05, 2010 08:15 PM (9Ep/N)

75 Pat Caddell doesn't believe in the 2 party system, he believes in the "Pat Caddell" system. What is the "Pat Caddell" system? Ask your mother.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:16 PM (xO+6C)

76 In order to stop the world from being destroyed by datastrophic global warming, we need to spend tens of trillions of dollars, change our entire energy substructures, spend decades descending into poverty, and create a suffocating, inescapable global government ... or ask just Pat Caddell to fix the Earth. 

But everyone's scared to ask him.

Posted by: progressoverpeace at August 05, 2010 08:16 PM (Qp4DT)

77 "Pat Caddell is Great"

Posted by: Chris Hitchens at August 05, 2010 08:16 PM (IRwVS)

78

(sorry chemjeff)

Yeah, Pat Caddell, i blew him

Posted by: Hello Kitty at August 05, 2010 08:16 PM (gg4j2)

79 Pat Caddell's other ride is your mother.

Posted by: garrett at August 05, 2010 08:17 PM (VTbuB)

80 Don't want no rematch with Pat Caddell.

Posted by: Apollo Creed at August 05, 2010 08:17 PM (Vol3D)

81 Pat Caddell's prediction, "Pain".

Posted by: Clubber Lang at August 05, 2010 08:18 PM (Vol3D)

82 Chupacabra? No, Pat Cadell.

Posted by: Jimmy Carter at August 05, 2010 08:18 PM (ehqqs)

83 I stand at attention when Pat Caddell walks by.

Posted by: Atlas at August 05, 2010 08:19 PM (yT8z7)

84 Pat Caddell doesn't spread the wealth, he rapes it.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:19 PM (xO+6C)

85 Standing motionless in your back yard.

Posted by: Paty Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:19 PM (azgo2)

86 Christina Romer said no to Pat Cadell. Now she knows what happens.

Posted by: notropis at August 05, 2010 08:19 PM (/b4MR)

87

When Pat Caddell says:

Suck my balls!

You say:

Present them.

Posted by: sartana at August 05, 2010 08:20 PM (nak8P)

88 Pat Caddell is such a man, he could play volleyball in Top Gun and still get blown

Posted by: navycopjoe at August 05, 2010 08:20 PM (gg4j2)

89 notropis misspelled Pat Caddell. Now he knows what happens.

Posted by: notropis' bloody corpse at August 05, 2010 08:20 PM (/b4MR)

90 Even I don't mess with Pat Caddell.

Posted by: Chuck Norris at August 05, 2010 08:20 PM (zJMT9)

91 There's a secret spot on every woman's body, and if you just can find it, you can make her yours forever. For most women, it's the vagina.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:20 PM (KUUXH)

92 Bitch, shut the hell up and lick me where I pee. Then, and only then, will I blow you.

Posted by: Mrs. Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:21 PM (HjxoE)

93 You wanna get Capone? Here's how you get him. He pulls a knife, you pull Pat Caddell. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to Pat Caddell! That's the Chicago way, and that's how you get Capone!

Posted by: Jim Malone at August 05, 2010 08:21 PM (qQ0A1)

94 Kratos left Pat Caddell off his list.

Posted by: eman at August 05, 2010 08:22 PM (9Ep/N)

95 Remember that Unidentified Flying Object I saw shooting rapidly across the sky?
Well it.s been identified. Turns out Pat Caddell was masturbating in a nearby field and just shot his load.

Posted by: Jimmy Carter at August 05, 2010 08:22 PM (xXyXP)

96 I would let Pat Caddell drive

Posted by: zombie Teddy Kennedy at August 05, 2010 08:22 PM (gg4j2)

97 Caddellllllllll!!!!!

Posted by: James T. Kirk at August 05, 2010 08:22 PM (HtIec)

98 Pat Caddell is a Big Fucking Deal!

Posted by: Joe Biden at August 05, 2010 08:23 PM (VTbuB)

99 "She has been frustrated," a source with insight into the WH economics team said. "She doesn't feel that she has a direct line to the president. She would be giving different advice than Larry Summers [director of the National Economic Council], who does have a direct line to the president."

Larry's not fucking things up fast enough.  And you know his opinion on you dumb assed broads....leave the science, math and economics to the men and go make us a sammich!!

Posted by: Portnoy at August 05, 2010 08:23 PM (azgo2)

100 Katey Perry kissed a girl but she blew me first

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:24 PM (gg4j2)

101 This foe is beyond any of you.  Run!

Posted by: Gandalf at August 05, 2010 08:24 PM (IQBsP)

102 There are 2 kinds of people in this world : Pat Caddell, and his victims.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:24 PM (xO+6C)

103 Chuck Norris is my butler.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:24 PM (HjxoE)

104 I was Wahlberg's stand-in on Boogie Nights. And it wasn't a prosthetic.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:24 PM (WZFkG)

105 Pat Caddell can eyefuck Obama standing in front of him and Biden over by the wall.

Posted by: Ohio Dan at August 05, 2010 08:25 PM (rurh0)

106 I have a direct line to the President...and I don't even work for him.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:25 PM (xXyXP)

107 Are you clowns still arguing about what killed off the dinosaurs?

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:25 PM (SwkdU)

108

I'm suck a fucking loser!

*starts to sob uncontrollably into his Dos Equis*

Posted by: Most Interresting Man in the World, thinking of Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:25 PM (qQ0A1)

109 Look, friend, I could give you some sing-song song-and-dance bullshit story, but I'm just going to level with you: Yes, that is my dick in your wife's mouth right now. Now let's talk about this rationally, like gentlemen. After she finishes me off.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:25 PM (KUUXH)

110 Some Girls Dance with Women.  But in the end they BOTH blow me.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:26 PM (VTbuB)

111
Caddell  you magnificent bastard, I crunched your numbers!


Posted by: Doug Schoen at August 05, 2010 08:26 PM (nak8P)

112 How powerful is Pat Caddell?
He got me my job.

Posted by: vernon Jordan at August 05, 2010 08:26 PM (xXyXP)

113 You know that tiny giraffe in the commercial? I willed him into existence.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:26 PM (WZFkG)

114 Haven't you figured out yet why Michelle Obama's hips are so wide?

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:27 PM (HtIec)

115 Obama, dude, your wife is a drag queen. A bad one.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:27 PM (HjxoE)

116 Wanna go through rocks at cars pat?

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at August 05, 2010 08:27 PM (1g+J3)

117 A gentleman never speaks ill of a lady.

Your wife is a whore.

Posted by: Pat Cadell at August 05, 2010 08:27 PM (IQBsP)

118 If I could grow a beard, I'd be Pat Caddell.

Posted by: John Bolton at August 05, 2010 08:28 PM (/b4MR)

119 If you spell my name backwards, it spells out A-W-E-S-O-M-E.

What's that you say, it doesn't? 

Well fuck you then.  And don't ever correct me again if you'd like to live.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:28 PM (zJMT9)

120 Pat knows where to put the peanut butter, IYKWIMAITYD.

Posted by: Toby the Beagle at August 05, 2010 08:28 PM (Vol3D)

121 After she finishes me off.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 06, 2010 12:25 AM (KUUXH)

Yes sir.

Posted by: Alan Colmes at August 05, 2010 08:28 PM (IRwVS)

122 I can whiten the teeth of the English people in two hours.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:28 PM (gg4j2)

123 Id rather read about sullivan or johnson.

Posted by: Larry Sheldon at August 05, 2010 08:28 PM (mMcLI)

124 How DARE you ask me if I sodomized your daughter! What have you heard?

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:28 PM (KUUXH)

125 I'm Peter North's biological father.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:28 PM (VTbuB)

126 I was Herman Munster. And yes it there was a threesome with Lily and Marilyn. Granpa filmed that shit. Check out YouTube.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:28 PM (WZFkG)

127 Pat Caddell, yeah he fucked me.

Posted by: Andrew Dice Clay at August 05, 2010 08:29 PM (Vol3D)

128 Pat Caddell really invented the Internet, suckas!

Posted by: Maxine Waters at August 05, 2010 08:29 PM (Ulu3i)

129

Hello ladies. How are you? Fantastic. Does you man look like me? No. Can he smell like me? Yes.

SWAN DIVE!

Posted by: Pat Cadell at August 05, 2010 08:29 PM (pfStM)

130 I can make Obama say the words, "let me make this clear"....and mean them!

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:29 PM (HjxoE)

131 When I grow up I want to be just like Pat Caddell.

Posted by: Vlad the Impaler at August 05, 2010 08:30 PM (HtIec)

132 You know those audio files that are getting teens high? My voice.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:30 PM (WZFkG)

133 Pat Caddell made me get into shape.

Posted by: Albert Haynesworth at August 05, 2010 08:30 PM (Vol3D)

134 In the end, there will be only...Pat Caddell

Posted by: Burn the Witch at August 05, 2010 08:30 PM (fLHQe)

135

I'm the real reason the Joker's mouth is so big.

And why he is always smiling.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:31 PM (gg4j2)

136 Pat Caddell is a Democrat. And look what us AoS morons still say about him. Even Dick Cheney couldn't accomplish that.

Posted by: notropis at August 05, 2010 08:31 PM (/b4MR)

137 I was Obama's real father. He wasn't born in Kenya but did bang his Mom in a Holiday Express once.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:31 PM (WZFkG)

138 There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold, and she's blowing me.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:31 PM (KUUXH)

139 The Hell with them fellas....buzzards got to eat...same as the worms...

And if you get them holes a leakin', I'm gonna whomp you with a knotted plow line....

Posted by: The Outlaw Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:31 PM (azgo2)

140

South Beach takes its talents to Pat Cadell.

Posted by: The Q at August 05, 2010 08:32 PM (pfStM)

141 One time I did a thousand push ups in the span of a minute. 

....with my hands tied behind my back.

Figure it out asshole.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:32 PM (zJMT9)

142

In Saudia Arabia, Pat Caddell puts a fatwa on you!

Posted by: Muhammad bin Rauf al Shareef bin Blow Me at August 05, 2010 08:32 PM (IRwVS)

143 Mick Jagger... pfft.... I've done more bitches than Stan Lee.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:33 PM (WZFkG)

144 Pat Caddell told me to get the fuck down off that stupid tank.
I didn't listen to him so he fucked my wife Kitty and later had a threesome with my 2 daughters. I still like to call him though and he recently suggested he might accept my friend request on Facebook, but first I have to blow him. I'm thinking I will.

Posted by: Michael Dukakis at August 05, 2010 08:33 PM (xXyXP)

145

South Beach takes its talents to Pat Cadell.

Posted by: The Q at August 06, 2010 12:32 AM (pfStM)

Excellent.

Posted by: Delta Smelt at August 05, 2010 08:33 PM (IRwVS)

146 Pat Caddell has the right of Primae Noctis.

Posted by: King Edward I at August 05, 2010 08:34 PM (Vol3D)

147 That Michele Bachman ad reminds me of the time I fucked her.  She asked me to commission a poll for her and I thought she was referring to something else.  

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:34 PM (zJMT9)

148 Barack, search your feelings...

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:34 PM (HjxoE)

149 I was on Top Gear once. I drove the Queen.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:35 PM (WZFkG)

150

My punching bag was Pat Cadell

motherfucker

Posted by: Gene Simmons at August 05, 2010 08:35 PM (RbHkS)

151 Pat Caddell's 1st wife wasn't with the Pat Caddell Program™. A program of wine, roses and sex with her sisters. And by wine and roses, I mean sex with her parents. Both of them.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:35 PM (xO+6C)

152 Fucking Pat Caddell is better than getting drunk!

Posted by: Kitty Dukakis at August 05, 2010 08:36 PM (Vol3D)

153 I sent that killer bunny after Carter.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:37 PM (WZFkG)

154 Pat Caddell once scared the Terminator so bad it crapped out a Coke machine.

Posted by: eman at August 05, 2010 08:37 PM (9Ep/N)

155 But first, Mel Gibson blows me.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:38 PM (zJMT9)

156 The "Backhand Blow?"  Learned that one from Pat when we were in Free Corps fighting in Riga.

Posted by: Erich Von Manstein at August 05, 2010 08:38 PM (IQBsP)

157 Obama would sell his daughters for a dime-bag. Yes, I said it, now blow me.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:38 PM (HjxoE)

158 Big Bang... that was just my first time. Awwwww yeaaaaahhhhh.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:39 PM (qQ0A1)

159 Pat Caddell? Of course I've heard of him. My wife and daughters talk about him all the time.

Posted by: Charlie Gibson at August 05, 2010 08:39 PM (HtIec)

160 Sex with Pat Caddell is much like a roller-coaster ride, except instead of loop-de-loops, I drug you with rufies.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:39 PM (KUUXH)

161 Pat Cadell is Hot For Teacher!

Posted by: Eddie Van Halen at August 05, 2010 08:39 PM (RbHkS)

162
Pat Caddell is more interesting than me.

Posted by: The Most Interesting Man In The World at August 05, 2010 08:40 PM (x+k6q)

163 I used to talk about Trig Palin a lot.  Then I met Pat Caddell. 

Now I don't talk much at all.

Posted by: Andrew Sullivan at August 05, 2010 08:41 PM (zJMT9)

164 Obama, big-eared fella, kinda "ineffectual"? One of them, "Big-City Folk"? Yeah, I've heard of President Fife, I mean, Obama.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:41 PM (HjxoE)

165 Bob Ross didn't have a perm. He just borrowed my pubes. Why do you think his clouds were so happy?

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:41 PM (WZFkG)

166 Pat Caddell was Clients 1-8....at the same time.

Posted by: Ashley Alexandra Dupre at August 05, 2010 08:42 PM (xXyXP)

167

Pat Cadell has balls the size of grapefruits.

PS Vote Linda

Posted by: Vince McMahon at August 05, 2010 08:42 PM (pfStM)

168 Pat Caddell makes George Clooney look like an omega.

Posted by: Roissy at August 05, 2010 08:42 PM (IRwVS)

169 Pat Cadell knocked up Rielle Hunter.

Posted by: John Edwards at August 05, 2010 08:42 PM (pfStM)

170 PAT CADDELL!!!

Posted by: Matt Damon at August 05, 2010 08:43 PM (qQ0A1)

Posted by: The Most Interesting Man In The World at August 05, 2010 08:43 PM (x+k6q)

172 Everything Paul Anka knows, he learned from me!

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:43 PM (HjxoE)

173 Pat Caddell softens your hands while you blow him.

Posted by: Madge at August 05, 2010 08:44 PM (SwkdU)

174 It sure has been quieter in this house ever since Pat Caddell stopped by.

Posted by: Professor Plum with the wrench in the library at August 05, 2010 08:44 PM (zJMT9)

175 I helped Pat release his second chakra.  With my tears.

Posted by: Al Gore at August 05, 2010 08:44 PM (IQBsP)

176 When Pat Caddell sits in with Paul Anka, he goes shirtless.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:44 PM (xO+6C)

177 I told him Mayonnaise not malaise. Stupid. Fucking. Carter.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:45 PM (WZFkG)

178 Well, this is...what's the word? Unprecedented? Yeah, that's it. That'll wow 'em.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:47 PM (HjxoE)

179 Obama? I used to fuck guys like that in prison.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:47 PM (hjyb5)

180 Thank goodness for Gas-X. We need that ozone layer.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:47 PM (HtIec)

181 Cheney and Cadell are each others dopplegangers.

Posted by: SaintGeorgeGentile at August 05, 2010 08:47 PM (sF7Um)

182 Pat Caddell told me a Democrat could beat GHW Bush in 1992 but I didn't listen to him. Now a disgraced former occupant of my old governor job has his own show on CNN and I don't even get called for comments. Pat even rejected my friend request and that was after I blew him.

Posted by: Mario Cuomo at August 05, 2010 08:47 PM (xXyXP)

183

Kirsten Powers?

Hit it.  Hit it so hard I made her cry.  Meagan laughed at her.  Then I nailed Meagan.  Got boring though. 

 

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:48 PM (IRwVS)

184
Pat Caddell told me about using a cougar.

Posted by: Dick Cheney at August 05, 2010 08:48 PM (x+k6q)

185

Obama? I used to fuck guys like that in prison.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 06, 2010 12:47 AM (hjyb5)

Nice.  I think he also told him he thought he'd be bigger.

Posted by: Delta Smelt at August 05, 2010 08:49 PM (IRwVS)

186 Pat Caddell invented lying to women. Why? Fuck you, that's why.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:49 PM (xO+6C)

187 We give money to Pat Caddell.

Posted by: Jesse jackson and Al Sharpton at August 05, 2010 08:50 PM (xXyXP)

188

Ran with the bulls in Pamplona and rode one I recognized.

Didn't know Rachel Maddow was Spanish.

Posted by: Pat Cadell at August 05, 2010 08:50 PM (pfStM)

189 Darth Cheney, ah, yes, we are planning on dining on some (darn-expensive) arugula and planning the DNC's demise.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:51 PM (HjxoE)

190 Kagan? Even I wouldn't fuck that.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:51 PM (HtIec)

191 Pat Caddell was not always a world-famous swordsman.  The woman who later became my wife was his first sexual encounter.

Pat is a considerate man, and he wished to please her. 

So, he asked her what she liked.

She told him about the man in the boat.

Pat looked, thought a moment, then responded, "I think we're gonna need a bigger boat."

Posted by: Sheriff Brody at August 05, 2010 08:52 PM (IQBsP)

192 From each according to his abilty, to Pat Caddell.

Posted by: Karl Marx at August 05, 2010 08:52 PM (IRwVS)

193 The Death Star? That was originally a plan I had for community outreach.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:53 PM (xXyXP)

194 Pat Caddell is the fucking leg breaker.

Posted by: Joe Theismann at August 05, 2010 08:54 PM (Vol3D)

195 I prefer Pepsi, hence,"New Coke". See my power. Bitches. And the other guy blinked....

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:54 PM (HjxoE)

196 You ask what is best in life? Ask Pat Caddell.

Posted by: Conan the Barbarian at August 05, 2010 08:54 PM (HtIec)

197 Pat Caddell appreciates the truth about Pat Caddell getting out. As they say, the truth will set you free. Pat Caddell will then re-capture you and load your colon with Pat Caddell's own "truth".

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:56 PM (xO+6C)

198 No más, No más Senor Caddell.

Posted by: Roberto Duran at August 05, 2010 08:56 PM (Vol3D)

199 Yeah, that whole splitting atoms with your mind thing. Lame. Ever try to make a woman orgasm? Yeah. I do that, with my MIND. Suck on that !

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:56 PM (HjxoE)

200 How did Nick Fury lose his eye? My zipper broke.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:57 PM (WZFkG)

201 Pat Caddell is the only person legally allowed to carry a gun in Chicago and I'm okay with that.

Posted by: Richard M Daley at August 05, 2010 08:57 PM (xXyXP)

202 Why couldn't I have Pat Caddell's hair?

Posted by: Fabio at August 05, 2010 08:57 PM (Pm5H8)

203 Building missiles that can defeat carriers???

We're not worried about carriers. What we're most terrified of is your... Pat Caddell.

Posted by: China at August 05, 2010 08:58 PM (qQ0A1)

204 140. South Beach takes its talents to Pat Cadell. It was worth it for that one alone.

Posted by: Tommy V at August 05, 2010 08:58 PM (qU57d)

205 Pat Caddell is my inspiration.

Posted by: Ron Jeremy at August 05, 2010 08:58 PM (SwkdU)

206 Hell Comes To Frogtown? Chapter 2 of my autobiography. Chapter 5 is scratch-n-sniff.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 08:59 PM (WZFkG)

207 If anything in life is certain, it is that you can kill anybody. Except Pat Caddell. 

Posted by: Michael Corleone at August 05, 2010 08:59 PM (84HQT)

208 Lemmings follow each other off the cliff because Pat Caddell is coming.

Posted by: A Balrog of Morgoth at August 05, 2010 08:59 PM (IQBsP)

209 I wouldn't be such a cranky, miserable bitch if Pat Caddell fucked me more often.

Posted by: Kathy Griffin at August 05, 2010 09:00 PM (SwkdU)

210

Pat Caddell has the worst hair on TV --- the kind of comb-over Tom Wolfe once called " rappelling down the North Face"

As an aside: he was once a roommate of a Harvard MD/PhD neuroscientist who later lost his license for  taking secret vids of his nanny on the toilet, then for dispensing "felegood" meds illegally. 

Google "Raymond J. Maciewicz" for the  lurid details.

Heh.

Need I add that he was a smarmy elitist???  Need I add that he thought his shit didn't stink?

Need I add that his wife and two children disowned him for beingh a pervert?

Heh.

 

 

 

 

Posted by: effinayright at August 05, 2010 09:00 PM (8sgG+)

211 I am what I am, but I wish I was Pat Caddell.

Posted by: Popeye at August 05, 2010 09:01 PM (HtIec)

212 in all honesty tho - why is his "pre-revolutionary" comment so ridicule-worthy? 

Posted by: chemjeff at August 05, 2010 09:01 PM (Pm5H8)

213 What did I major in at college? Ripping and Tearing

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 09:02 PM (WZFkG)

214 211 I am what I am, but I wish I was Pat Caddell.

Posted by: Popeye at August 06, 2010 01:01 AM (HtIec)


So do I.

Posted by: Olive Oyl at August 05, 2010 09:02 PM (HtIec)

215 Please excuse poster 8sgG+.  I put him in a dress and sent him out to turn tricks.  He's bitter.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 09:03 PM (IQBsP)

216 I never realized how small my penis was until I ran into Pat Caddell at the gym. 

Posted by: Random Black Guy at August 05, 2010 09:04 PM (zJMT9)

217 You ever walk into a room, not get the joke, then walk out all confused?

Yeah, me neither.

Posted by: chemjeff at August 05, 2010 09:04 PM (IQBsP)

218 How did I get this scar? Bullet wound. I was taking a piss on an African Safari and some asshole mistook me for an elephant.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 09:04 PM (WZFkG)

219

Who's this Pat Cadell?

I've been on vacation......

Posted by: Bob Schieffer at August 05, 2010 09:04 PM (DlNeu)

220 Coffee is for closers.

And Pat Cadell.

Posted by: My name is Fuck You at August 05, 2010 09:04 PM (9b6FB)

221 Give me liberty or give me Pat Caddell.  Preferably the latter.

Posted by: Patrick Henry at August 05, 2010 09:05 PM (IRwVS)

222 I invented the knock-knock joke.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 09:05 PM (WZFkG)

223

What are you, some kind of half-assed astronaut?

You go in the cage, cage go in the water, Pat Cadell in the water, our Pat Cadell.

Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies . . .

Posted by: Quint at August 05, 2010 09:06 PM (pfStM)

224 Pat Caddell can dunk.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 09:06 PM (WZFkG)

225 We answer only to Pat Caddell.

Posted by: Sgt Major Jonas Blane at August 05, 2010 09:06 PM (SwkdU)

226 There used to be this guy Charlie Gibson that hadn't heard of me. 

So I murdered him and skullfucked his wife. 

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 09:07 PM (zJMT9)

227 Wow I think I just talked in the fourth person?

Posted by: ChicagoJedi at August 05, 2010 09:07 PM (WZFkG)

228 Not ridiculing.  Caddell made his way into Chuck Norris/ Dick Cheney/ Fred Thompson status.

Posted by: Delta Smelt at August 05, 2010 09:07 PM (IRwVS)

229 in all honesty tho - why is his "pre-revolutionary" comment so ridicule-worthy? 

Posted by: chemjeff at August 06, 2010 01:01 AM (Pm5H

This was ridicule?  I was laughing with Pat ... because you know what happens, otherwise.

Posted by: progressoverpeace at August 05, 2010 09:08 PM (Qp4DT)

230 We never really invented the A-bomb.  We just show our enemies pictures of Pat Caddell and they get the point.

Posted by: Robert Oppenheimer at August 05, 2010 09:09 PM (zJMT9)

231 Pat Cadell forces double entendre to become single.

Posted by: K~Bob at August 05, 2010 09:09 PM (9b6FB)

232 Okay, who is Pat Caddell?

Posted by: Will Folks at August 05, 2010 09:10 PM (BP6Z1)

233 Pat came on my back, wiped his dick on my drapes and stole twenty dollars from my purse.

The next day, I called him to thank him.

Posted by: Jessica Valenti at August 05, 2010 09:10 PM (IQBsP)

234 The world revolves around women.  And women revolve around my cock as they blow me.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 09:11 PM (zJMT9)

235

This was ridicule?  I was laughing with Pat ... because you know what happens, otherwise.

Posted by: progressoverpeace at August 06, 2010 01:08 AM (Qp4DT)

Exactly.  Heh.  If PC is reading this right now, I'm sure he's got a giant grin on his face.

This will be his favorite post ever about him on the web.

And if its not, I'm sorry Mr. Caddell.  Don't blame me.  Please sir.

Posted by: Delta Smelt at August 05, 2010 09:11 PM (IRwVS)

236 Yield unto Pat Caddell that which is Pat Caddell's. In other words, everything.

Posted by: Jesus at August 05, 2010 09:11 PM (HtIec)

237 Pat Caddell makes me damn proud to be a US Marine.

Posted by: Gunny Hartmann at August 05, 2010 09:11 PM (SwkdU)

238 Global warming is just the sun getting brighter for Pat Cadell when he's wearing Cheap Sunglasses.

Posted by: K~Bob at August 05, 2010 09:12 PM (9b6FB)

239 The next day, I called him to thank him.

Posted by: Jessica Valenti at August 06, 2010 01:10 AM (IQBsP)

Excellent.  And she cuckholded her mangina with Caddell before he took the twenty.

Posted by: Delta Smelt at August 05, 2010 09:12 PM (IRwVS)

240 okay, i'm a little slow, i confess

Posted by: chemjeff at August 05, 2010 09:12 PM (Pm5H8)

241 Pat Cadell stains don't wash out.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 09:12 PM (VTbuB)

242 Pat Caddell has left the building

Posted by: Arbalest at August 05, 2010 09:13 PM (gma26)

243 The "flaming Skull" at the HQ is actually a video of Pat telling me to fuck off.

True story.

Posted by: Joe "bullett in my shirt pocket" Biden at August 05, 2010 09:14 PM (9b6FB)

244

Pat Caddell sends the rest of the children into the cornfield.

Posted by: Rod Serling at August 05, 2010 09:14 PM (84HQT)

245 Pat Caddell, Dick Cheney and John Bolton walk into a bar.

Posted by: Jodie Foster at August 05, 2010 09:14 PM (IQBsP)

246 Pat Caddell doesn't explain himself. He rapes you til you get the point.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 09:15 PM (xO+6C)

247 No, Pat Caddell sends Billy Mumy into the cornfield. 

Posted by: Rod Serling at August 05, 2010 09:15 PM (84HQT)

248 The extra 't' was not Pat Cadell's fault.

Posted by: Typos at August 05, 2010 09:16 PM (9b6FB)

249 There are two and only two great things in this universe.  Pat Caddell and

Pat Caddell is the only great thing in this universe.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 09:16 PM (zJMT9)

250 Pat Caddell knows the airspeed of an African swallow.

Posted by: the bridge keeper at August 05, 2010 09:17 PM (SwkdU)

251 The missing 'd' was me.  I hope Pat doesn't notice.

Posted by: K~Bob at August 05, 2010 09:18 PM (9b6FB)

252 Pat Caddell was murdered in 1980, he just refuses to die.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 09:18 PM (xO+6C)

253 Pat told me that if I loved him, I would walk Pennsylvania Avenue wearing nothing but a sofa cover and a smile.

Posted by: Michelle Obama at August 05, 2010 09:18 PM (IQBsP)

254 250 Pat Caddell knows the airspeed of an African swallow.

Posted by: the bridge keeper at August 06, 2010 01:17 AM (SwkdU)


Pat Caddell always insists that you swallow.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 09:19 PM (zJMT9)

255

I once took a piss in an Airport Bathroom in Jamaica. 

 I looked at the dude next to me and it was Pat Caddell. 

"My wife's name is 'Wendy' too Mr. Caddell!".

"I know," he said.

"I've Fucked her."

 

Posted by: Guy with his wife's name tatooed on his dick at August 05, 2010 09:19 PM (VTbuB)

256 Tom Atkins took lessons from me.

Posted by: ChicagoJedi at August 05, 2010 09:20 PM (WZFkG)

257

What happens when an immovable object meets an unstoppable force?

Pat fucking Caddell

Posted by: garrett at August 05, 2010 09:21 PM (VTbuB)

258 Pat Caddell shits danger and pisses retribution.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 09:23 PM (xO+6C)

259 I gave the joker those scars when I stretched his mouth too far.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 09:23 PM (HtIec)

260

Woe to you, oh earth and sea, for the devil sends Pat Cadell with wrath, cause he knows the time is short.

Let him who hath understanding reckon Pat Cadell's number, for it is a human number.

His number is 250 House Republicans.

Posted by: Iron Maiden at August 05, 2010 09:23 PM (pfStM)

261 Tetanus shots were invented because Pat Caddell has a STD.

Posted by: Arianna Huffington at August 05, 2010 09:23 PM (IQBsP)

262 I piss in my car's gas tank for extra horsepower.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 09:24 PM (WZFkG)

263 Who thought of me first? Pat Caddell.

Posted by: Cleveland Steamer at August 05, 2010 09:27 PM (SwkdU)

264 When Pat Caddell talks, E.F. Hutton listens.

Posted by: A Balrog of Morgoth at August 05, 2010 09:27 PM (IQBsP)

265 I called Pat Caddell, "Pilgrim." I'm dead now.

Posted by: Zombie John Wayne at August 05, 2010 09:27 PM (HtIec)

266

Patt Caddell once shot a man in Reno just to shoot a man in Reno.

...then he fucked his wife.

Posted by: garrett at August 05, 2010 09:28 PM (VTbuB)

267 I told Schubert that 8th symphony was going nowhere. 

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 09:29 PM (84HQT)

268 On my Birthday I get a Pat Caddell Ice Cream Cake.

Posted by: Cookiepuss at August 05, 2010 09:29 PM (VTbuB)

269 Pat Caddell invented refrigeration when there were no more glaciers to punch.

Posted by: A Balrog of Morgoth at August 05, 2010 09:29 PM (IQBsP)

270 PixPixPixPixPixPixPixPixPixPixPixPixPixPixPixPixPix.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 09:30 PM (VTbuB)

271 When Pat Caddell told me to go and get my shinebox, I sure a hell did.

But first I blew him.

Posted by: Tommy DeVito at August 05, 2010 09:32 PM (qQ0A1)

272

I entered the airspace of Pat Caddell and was never seen or heard from again. 

Posted by: bermuda Triangle at August 05, 2010 09:32 PM (84HQT)

273 The German Naval Law of 1912 was passed so Pat Caddell would not run out of pieces for his game of Battleship.

Posted by: A Balrog of Morgoth at August 05, 2010 09:32 PM (IQBsP)

274 lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs lace wigs

Posted by: Pat Cadell at August 05, 2010 09:32 PM (pfStM)

275 Pat Caddell  really did fuck Nikki Haley.  He also got Reille Hunter pregnant and got John Edwards to take the rap.  Not cause he needed the cover; just cause he liked to watch Johnny Pretty-Face squirm.

Medusa looked at Pat Caddell and turned to stone.

Posted by: Andrew Young at August 05, 2010 09:32 PM (WxU3d)

276 Pat Caddell can eat 50 eggs.

Posted by: Cool Hand Luke at August 05, 2010 09:32 PM (VTbuB)

277 I was named after Pat Caddell.

Posted by: The Titanic at August 05, 2010 09:33 PM (HtIec)

278 I know it's a trick and I have an axe.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 09:33 PM (WZFkG)

279 Without Pat Caddell Jimmy Carter would have lost 50 states instead of 44.

Posted by: Ronald Reagan at August 05, 2010 09:33 PM (xXyXP)

280 I only hope to have hair like Pat Caddell

Posted by: lace wigs at August 05, 2010 09:34 PM (84HQT)

281 Pat Caddell can speak in the fifth person.

Posted by: Tommy V at August 05, 2010 09:34 PM (qU57d)

282 I wear a lace wig so Pat's drink doesn't slip off my head.

Posted by: Howie Mandel at August 05, 2010 09:34 PM (IQBsP)

283 On Pat Caddell's 1st birthday he got a puppy. He sodomized it. On his 2nd birthday he received a pony. He raped it. On his 3rd birthday his parents, wising up, got him a prostitute. He still has her on a leash in his backyard.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 09:34 PM (xO+6C)

284 Pat Cadell took the Scientology personality test and he was found to be so perfect of mind that Scientology training would be useless to him.

Posted by: Cicero at August 05, 2010 09:35 PM (7ppar)

285 Without Pat Caddell Fritz Mondale lost 49 states.

Posted by: Ronald Reagan at August 05, 2010 09:35 PM (xXyXP)

286

F*ck Caspar Gomez and f*ck the f*cking Diaz brothers, f*ck em all.  I bury those cockaaaroaches.

Pat Caddell is cool though.

Posted by: Tony Montana at August 05, 2010 09:35 PM (IRwVS)

287 My sack is made out of rich corinthian leather

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 09:36 PM (WZFkG)

288  Pat Caddell can eat 50 eggs.

Posted by: Cool Hand Luke at August 06, 2010 01:32 AM (VTbuB)

Dude can eat 100's of hotdogs in 12 minutes.  It's not fair.

Posted by: Joey Chestnut at August 05, 2010 09:37 PM (IRwVS)

289 Pat Caddell can split infinitives and nobody says shit to him.

Posted by: Noam Chomsky at August 05, 2010 09:37 PM (xXyXP)

290 The Most Interesting Man in the World is Pat Caddell's fluffer.

Posted by: A Balrog of Morgoth at August 05, 2010 09:38 PM (IQBsP)

291 "A Gentleman always pays for the episiotemy."

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 09:38 PM (VTbuB)

292 When in Rome, do as Pat Cadell does.

Posted by: Cicero at August 05, 2010 09:38 PM (7ppar)

293 We run from Pat Caddell.

Posted by: 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse at August 05, 2010 09:38 PM (Vol3D)

294 Allahpundit banned me for saying revolution.
 
He's got a skullfucking coming.

Posted by: Pat Cadell at August 05, 2010 09:39 PM (h0RtZ)

295 Newtonian Physics didn't stop working until Pat Caddell was born.

Posted by: A Balrog of Morgoth at August 05, 2010 09:39 PM (IQBsP)

296

"I once had an 'Awkward Moment'- so I could Ass Rape it."

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 09:40 PM (VTbuB)

297 Pat Caddell? Nuff said.

Posted by: davidt at August 05, 2010 09:40 PM (HtIec)

298 Our vodka is made from Pat Caddell's nutsack sweat.

Posted by: President of Val-U-Rite Vodka at August 05, 2010 09:41 PM (Vol3D)

299 When Pat Caddell says he wants to "poll" you, run, it's a trap.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 09:41 PM (xO+6C)

300 The guys in my band get shirts. That's.just .the.way .it.is.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 09:41 PM (oL8lS)

301 "Pat Caddell" is a killing word.

Posted by: Stilgar at August 05, 2010 09:42 PM (HtIec)

302 "Once you go black, only Pat Caddell can bring you back."

Posted by: legend has it at August 05, 2010 09:42 PM (VTbuB)

303 I developed my Theory of Gravitation when Pat Caddell's dick dropped into my mouth. Third law of motion? When he blew his load and it drove my head into the tree.

Posted by: Isaac Newton at August 05, 2010 09:44 PM (xXyXP)

304 "Pat Caddell with hand in pocket feels a little cocky  Big Dick all day."

Posted by: Confuscious say at August 05, 2010 09:44 PM (VTbuB)

305 Democracy is theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard...from Pat Caddell.

Posted by: H.L. Mencken at August 05, 2010 09:44 PM (IQBsP)

306 Pat Caddell invented slavery cuz shit was getting expensive.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 09:44 PM (xO+6C)

307 The five point exploding palm technique did not work on Pat Cadell.
 
Afterward, I had to blow him.

Posted by: The Bride at August 05, 2010 09:46 PM (h0RtZ)

308 Nazi racial theories held that the Aryans were the highest form of human beings on the planet, after Pat Cadell.

Posted by: Cicero at August 05, 2010 09:47 PM (7ppar)

309 Helter Skelter is what happens when Pat gets bored.

Posted by: Charles Manson at August 05, 2010 09:48 PM (IQBsP)

310 Pat Caddell can go 40 miles on a single charge.

Posted by: garrett at August 05, 2010 09:48 PM (VTbuB)

311 Pat Caddell's splooge plugged the oil spill.

Posted by: tmi3rd at August 05, 2010 09:49 PM (WRtsc)

312 I am the Walrus.

Posted by: Patt Caddell at August 05, 2010 09:49 PM (VTbuB)

313 Pat Caddell never fucked me. But he did fuck an actual Mama Grizzly bear...and she liked it.

Posted by: Sarah Palin at August 05, 2010 09:49 PM (xXyXP)

314 Koo-Koo-Kachoo

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 09:50 PM (VTbuB)

315 The Alaskan Pipeline is named after me.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 09:51 PM (VTbuB)

316 If you have it, you don't need it. If you need it, you don't have it.   If you have it, you need more of it. If you have more if it, you don't need less of it.   You need it to get it - and you certainly need it to get more of it.   But if you don't already have any of it to begin with, you can't get any to get started which means you really have no idea how to get it in the first place, do you?   You can share it, sure; you can even stockpile it if you like; but you can't fake it.   Wanting it, needing it, wishing for it: the point is: if you've never had any of it, ever . . .   People just seem to know.

Posted by: Pat Cadell at August 05, 2010 09:51 PM (pfStM)

317 The space shuttle will be replaced by Pat Caddell cum shots for outer space payload delivery.

Posted by: NASA at August 05, 2010 09:52 PM (xXyXP)

318 In Joe Rosnethal's original photograph of Marines raising a flag on Iwo Jima, the flag was was the personal standard of Pat Cadell.

Posted by: Cicero at August 05, 2010 09:53 PM (7ppar)

319

Pat Caddell took a steaming dump on a Koran and I was cool with it. 

All praise be to Pat Caddell.

Posted by: Radical Muslim at August 05, 2010 09:53 PM (IRwVS)

320 When they shot Old Yeller, Pat Caddell laughed.

Posted by: This Thread is Dead at August 05, 2010 09:54 PM (IQBsP)

321 When Pat Caddell Rapes you it is Rape-Rape.

Posted by: Whoopie Goldberg at August 05, 2010 09:54 PM (VTbuB)

322 I tried fucking a blue whale once but I. Was. Just. Too. Big.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 09:55 PM (WZFkG)

323 At the time he was hanged, it was widely rumored that Saddam Hussein was carrying Pat Cadell's love child.

Posted by: Cicero at August 05, 2010 09:57 PM (7ppar)

324 I've been hiding out in a cave made by Pat Caddell's dick for years.

Posted by: Osama Bin laden at August 05, 2010 10:00 PM (xXyXP)

325 Al Franken once made a funny face while Pat Cadell was speaking.  Once.

Posted by: Cicero at August 05, 2010 10:01 PM (7ppar)

326 I was thinking of Pat Caddell when I choked to death during a jerk session.

Posted by: David Carradine at August 05, 2010 10:02 PM (WZFkG)

327

The Boy said,

"My name's Pat,

and it might be a Sin.

But I'll take your bet

and your gonna regret -

'cause I'm Pat fuckin' Caddell ".

Posted by: Charlie Daniels at August 05, 2010 10:03 PM (VTbuB)

328 The doorbell was invented to prevent Pat Caddell from accidentally knocking down your house.

Posted by: This Thread is Dead at August 05, 2010 10:03 PM (IQBsP)

329 Pat Caddell doesn't own the night, he taunts it.

Naw, I'm just fucking with you, I own it.

And taunt it.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:04 PM (xO+6C)

330

"Smack her on the Ass and make her call you 'Pat'."

"She. Like. That.

Posted by: Patt Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:04 PM (VTbuB)

331 I was Suspect #4 in a police line up. My penis was Suspect #3.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:04 PM (WZFkG)

332 Those who beat their swords into plowshares end up doing the plowing for Pat Cadell.

Posted by: Cicero at August 05, 2010 10:05 PM (7ppar)

333 The Germans attacked through the Ardennes because Pat Caddell was touring the Maginot Line.

Posted by: This Thread is Dead at August 05, 2010 10:05 PM (IQBsP)

334 Pat Caddell calls up schizophrenics pretending to be The Weather.

Posted by: Mermaid Lover at August 05, 2010 10:06 PM (UidV/)

335 When your Lifeclock starts blinking they send Pat Caddell.

Posted by: ChicagoJedi at August 05, 2010 10:07 PM (WZFkG)

336 Lady Gaga got they idea for the title Poker Face from sucking my dick.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:07 PM (xXyXP)

337 Saddam Hussein invaded Kuwait because he owed Pat Caddell money.

Posted by: This Thread is Dead at August 05, 2010 10:07 PM (IQBsP)

338 Lady Gaga got her name working as my fluffer.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:08 PM (IQBsP)

339 Pat Caddell? Where? Fuck man! Don't scare me like that!

Posted by: Chuck Norris at August 05, 2010 10:09 PM (HtIec)

340 I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll. That sonofabitch Kennedy stole my lazy-eyed democrat schtick.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:09 PM (WZFkG)

341 My dick has it's own boarding pass and arrives on the plane 3 minutes before I do.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:09 PM (xXyXP)

342 Only Pat Caddell can Mess With Sasquatch

Posted by: ChicagoJedi at August 05, 2010 10:10 PM (WZFkG)

343

In 2002, I sneezed in Canada.

They made up a whole disease and had a benefit concert because of that sneeze.

Posted by: Pat Cadell at August 05, 2010 10:10 PM (pfStM)

344 Pat Caddell made me an offer I couldn't refuse. He let me blow him.

Posted by: Vito Corleone at August 05, 2010 10:12 PM (HtIec)

345

I assassinated Presidents Lincoln, Garfield, and McKinley.

JFK? Like 9/11 = blame Boooooooooosssshhhhhh.

Posted by: Pat Cadell at August 05, 2010 10:12 PM (pfStM)

346 I once got a hard on so big I was able to attend Live Aid at Philadelphia and London at the same time.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:12 PM (xXyXP)

347 I am Keyzer Soze.

Posted by: Pat Cadell at August 05, 2010 10:13 PM (pfStM)

348 I gave Roger Ebert's wife two thumbs up.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:14 PM (WZFkG)

349 I made your ONT my bitch tonight.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:15 PM (Zi6Cw)

350

OK, who is Pat Caddell?

 

 

Posted by: lou at August 05, 2010 10:16 PM (byrE+)

351 When Pat Caddell joined, pledges were no longer required to say "Thank you sir, may I have another."

Posted by: Sigma Theta Pi at August 05, 2010 10:17 PM (IQBsP)

352 Meow, motherfuckers.

Posted by: Cat Paddell at August 05, 2010 10:17 PM (Zi6Cw)

353 Purple was supposed to be a primary color til I said no fucking way. They said "come on Pat, what's the big deal"? I said Fuck You, that's the big fucking deal.


And that was that.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:17 PM (xO+6C)

354

OK, who is Pat Caddell?

Posted by: lou

Pat Caddell is the reason your wife smiles so much.

Posted by: This Thread is Dead at August 05, 2010 10:18 PM (IQBsP)

355

Since I've singlehandedly usurped the ONT:

Shannon Bream in a Catholic schoolgirl outfit

And yeah - I had that.

Posted by: Pat Cadell at August 05, 2010 10:18 PM (pfStM)

356 Who is Pat Caddell?


Check your closet motherfucker.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:19 PM (xO+6C)

357 *giggle*

Posted by: lou's wife at August 05, 2010 10:19 PM (IQBsP)

358 Oprah pissed herself in the Color Purple cause she saw me coming.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:20 PM (WZFkG)

359 OK, who is Pat Caddell? He is the guy I clean up after.

Posted by: Death at August 05, 2010 10:20 PM (SwkdU)

360 Only Pat Caddell can send a thrill up your leg that never goes away.

Posted by: Chris Matthews at August 05, 2010 10:21 PM (xXyXP)

361 When I tithe at church, I give them a picture of my 'stache. Be grateful bitches.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:21 PM (WZFkG)

362 The ladies call it "Binge and Purge."  I call it "Date Night."

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:21 PM (IQBsP)

363 OK, who is Pat Caddell?

That was a freebie.  Nobody's ever asked that question twice.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:21 PM (Zi6Cw)

364 Pat Caddell a badass?  Srsly?  Have you actually seen me?

Posted by: Pat Caddell's Hair at August 05, 2010 10:22 PM (Pm5H8)

365 Pat Caddell, you say?  Damn, I'd better skip this planet.

Posted by: Unicron at August 05, 2010 10:22 PM (Zi6Cw)

366 Pat Caddell is the one that turned my hair gray....and I loved every minute of it.

Posted by: Anderson Cooper at August 05, 2010 10:23 PM (xXyXP)

367 Evil Knievel crashed trying to jump over my cock on a motorcycle.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:24 PM (WZFkG)

368 Posted by: Pat Caddell's Hair at August 06, 2010 02:22 AM (Pm5H

I'm such a bad ass even my hair makes comments.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:24 PM (xXyXP)

369 When you turn off the safety settings on the Holodeck I show up.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:26 PM (WZFkG)

370 You without me is like Bill O'Reilly without loofahs - you'll never be satisfied.

Posted by: Pat Cadell at August 05, 2010 10:26 PM (pfStM)

371 Every time we try to send Pat Caddell through the full-body-scanners his enormous penis blots out the entire image.

Posted by: Janet Napolitano at August 05, 2010 10:26 PM (Zi6Cw)

372 When the MCP abducted me my dick got it's own frisbee.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:27 PM (WZFkG)

373 I defected solely to meet Pat Caddell.

Posted by: Marko Ramius at August 05, 2010 10:27 PM (xXyXP)

374 You're quite a good chicken strangler as I recall...

Posted by: Rupert Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:28 PM (mY03/)

375 Pat Caddell fought Chuck Norris once. The result? Pluto is no longer a planet.

Posted by: Doc at August 05, 2010 10:29 PM (MYT77)

376 358 *giggle*

Posted by: lou's wife at August 06, 2010 02:19 AM (IQBsP)

God you are so clever!!

Posted by: lou at August 05, 2010 10:29 PM (byrE+)

377 Yeah, you heard me.  I said you DON'T need a fucking starship.

Posted by: Pat Tiberius Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:29 PM (Zi6Cw)

378 Horse is small compared to Pat Caddell.

Posted by: Nell Fenwick at August 05, 2010 10:30 PM (HtIec)

379 I did it my way, unless Pat Caddell told me otherwise.

Posted by: Frank Sinatra at August 05, 2010 10:31 PM (IRwVS)

380 Seriously folks.  I've got an entire Walgreen's full of hair spray.  Not cool.

Posted by: Pat Caddell's Hair at August 05, 2010 10:31 PM (Pm5H8)

381 I'm a friend of Martha MacCallum.  I was told she was here.  Could I see her please?

Posted by: Caddel-berdyne Systems Model 101 at August 05, 2010 10:32 PM (Zi6Cw)

382 A little known provision of the Stolen Valor Act requires any man not named Pat Caddell to refrain from growing a beard.

Posted by: This Thread is Dead at August 05, 2010 10:33 PM (IQBsP)

383 I took a piss outdoors at the White House in 1977 and the ground there is still toxic today.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:33 PM (xXyXP)

384 Why do I wrap my dates in ducktape???  So they don't explode when I fuck them...

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:33 PM (1AnxB)

385 It's morning in America.  And if any of you fuckers have a problem with that, let me refer you to my friend Pat Caddell.

Posted by: Ronald Reagan at August 05, 2010 10:34 PM (Zi6Cw)

386 Has anyone seen my wife?

Posted by: lou at August 05, 2010 10:34 PM (IQBsP)

387 Has anyone seen my wife?

Yes.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:35 PM (Zi6Cw)

388 I'm a friend of Martha MacCallum.  I was told she was here.  Could I see her please?

Posted by: Caddel-berdyne Systems Model 101 at August 06, 2010 02:32 AM (Zi6Cw)

Nice. 

Posted by: Delta Smelt at August 05, 2010 10:36 PM (IRwVS)

389 Holland Tunnel... Named after one of my all-weekend romps in Amsterdam...

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:36 PM (1AnxB)

390 If only I were worthy of Pat Caddell!

Posted by: Sobbing Chelsea Clinton Mezvinsky at August 05, 2010 10:36 PM (HtIec)

391

Billie Jean is my lover . . . and the child is not my son.

Posted by: Pat Cadell at August 05, 2010 10:38 PM (pfStM)

392 Why is Nancy Pelosi so stupid???  Two words... Mushroom slap...

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:38 PM (1AnxB)

393 My condoms have elbow patches on them.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:39 PM (WZFkG)

394 387 Has anyone seen my wife?


When Pat is finished with me, I'll look for her lou. She was in pretty rough shape after Pat was done with her.

Posted by: lou's sister at August 05, 2010 10:39 PM (xO+6C)

395 "A Pat Caddell in the White House?"

Posted by: Hugh Hewitt at August 05, 2010 10:39 PM (IRwVS)

396 387 Has anyone seen my wife?

Posted by: lou at August 06, 2010 02:34 AM (IQBsP)

 

You must insist that I not post here. Good god lgf!! I mess with your good times!! Tell Ace and scream it loud!! TeeHEE I mess with your smartass mojo!!!!!

Posted by: lou at August 05, 2010 10:40 PM (byrE+)

397
I wear my sunglasses at night
So I can, so I can
Keep laser beams from shooting from my eyes.

Posted by: Pat "Cyclops" Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:40 PM (Zi6Cw)

398 Advanced students of quantum mechanics debate whether Shrodinger's cat is dead, alive, or on the tip of my dick.

.
.
.

I'm kidding. Of course I fucked that thing.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:41 PM (JahR7)

399 *sigh*  I missed out on all the fun.

Posted by: lou's Great-Great-Great-Great Grandmother at August 05, 2010 10:42 PM (Zi6Cw)

400 My  condoms inspired the design of the 747

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:43 PM (1AnxB)

401 I'm still declaring #44 the thread winner...

Posted by: dead, not pat cadell at August 05, 2010 10:44 PM (t+cg1)

402 When Pat Caddell fucks your wife, you stop making sense.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:44 PM (xO+6C)

403 I see you're all wondering where the oil went.

Posted by: Pat Caddell's Dispersant-Strength Splooge at August 05, 2010 10:46 PM (Zi6Cw)

404 Oscar Mayer Weinermobile... cast from my cock

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:46 PM (1AnxB)

405 403 I'm still declaring #44 the thread winner...


Pat Caddell declares the thread winner. Why? Fuck you, that's why.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:46 PM (xO+6C)

406 Who's been fucking your wife? Could it be Pat Caddell??

Posted by: Church Lady at August 05, 2010 10:46 PM (HtIec)

407

Richard Gere tried to bust me head in with a snow globe.

I boned Diane Lane over his dead body.

Posted by: Pat Cadell at August 05, 2010 10:47 PM (pfStM)

408 Everyone call me Spider-Man because I'm constantly shooting my web fluid. And because I wear a mask when I sneak into your room.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:47 PM (WZFkG)

409 Crap. I'm totally fucked, aren't I?

Posted by: dead, not sleeping at August 05, 2010 10:47 PM (t+cg1)

410 Marty, I'm sorry, but the only power source capable of generating 1.21 gigawatts of electricity is a brief glance from Pat Caddell...

Posted by: Dr. Emmett L. Brown at August 05, 2010 10:48 PM (Zi6Cw)

411

As far as the husbands on this board asking about me boning their wives - I live by a simple rule.

Never apologize - it's a sign of weakness.

Posted by: Pat Cadell at August 05, 2010 10:48 PM (pfStM)

412 Me amd your wife can get that DeLorean up to 88 mph

Posted by: Pat Cadell at August 05, 2010 10:48 PM (pfStM)

413 In Mexico, they no longer have a "donkey show." In its place is the Pat Caddell show. Unfortunately, this show too is closed, mostly because of the lack of women who can accept all Pat has to offer. More than once. There is also a severe shortage of women in Mexico, most succumbing to extreme exhaustion or being accidentally split in half, whichever came first. Sure wasn't Pat.

Posted by: Jollyroger at August 05, 2010 10:50 PM (XY3P4)

414 411 Crap. I'm totally fucked, aren't I?


As soon as I get your front door open you will be.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:50 PM (xO+6C)

415 eep.

Posted by: dead, not sleeping, 'coz he's hiding in the basement at August 05, 2010 10:51 PM (t+cg1)

416 Someone asked me if I was Doctor Who. Nope, but I've been in plenty of boxes. The ladies always tell me it feels bigger on the inside.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:51 PM (WZFkG)

417 Hank Johnson isn't stupid.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:53 PM (IRwVS)

418 When the legend becomes bigger than the truth, you're getting into Pat Caddell territory.

Posted by: Jimmy Stewart at August 05, 2010 10:54 PM (SwkdU)

419 Somebody find me a stepladder. I need to take a leak and I don't want to dip my cock in the commode.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:54 PM (HtIec)

420 I'm kind of glad we're dialing back on NASA because I'm tired of astronauts always tethering themselves to my cock for spacewalks.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:54 PM (Zi6Cw)

421

Pat Caddell was kung-fu fighting

his ass was fast as lightning

In fact, he was a little bit frightening

I'm sure he has expert timing...

Posted by: Funky Chinaman from Funky Chinatown at August 05, 2010 10:55 PM (q8CmE)

422 All right you primitive screwheads, listen up!  THIS... is my BOOMSTICK!!

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:56 PM (Zi6Cw)

423 We bow to Pat Cadell.

Posted by: Sean Connery & Roger Moore at August 05, 2010 10:57 PM (pfStM)

424 PAT CADDELL!!!

Posted by: Jason Bourne at August 05, 2010 10:57 PM (pfStM)

425 Lets not start-- Oh it's you Mr. Caddell! I'll get right on it!

Posted by: Winston Wolf at August 05, 2010 10:58 PM (HtIec)

426

Somebody find me a stepladder. I need to take a leak and I don't want to dip my cock in the commode.

I find a cold dip in the ocean refreshing.

Posted by: DICK Cheney at August 05, 2010 10:58 PM (q8CmE)

427 John Woo filmed my porno tape. He released some doves as I came.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 10:59 PM (WZFkG)

428 Pat Caddell made me blind and I loved every minute of it.

Posted by: Helen Keller at August 05, 2010 11:04 PM (SwkdU)

429 No idea who this guy is, but no matter:  my tabby cat is incredibly powerful and knows from who the treats are given.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at August 05, 2010 11:04 PM (eNxMU)

430 Pat Caddell is the one, not Neo.

Posted by: Morpheus at August 05, 2010 11:05 PM (HtIec)

431 Beckoning Chasm, hmmmm.

Posted by: Pat Caddell. at August 05, 2010 11:07 PM (HtIec)

432 Pat taught Helen and I a rather unique new communication system.

Posted by: Annie Sullivan at August 05, 2010 11:07 PM (Zi6Cw)

433 Pat Caddell is bored. And when Pat Caddell gets bored, hide your daughters.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 11:07 PM (xO+6C)

434 And sons.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 11:09 PM (xO+6C)

435 Pat Caddell broke my Hitori Hanzo sword with his cock.

Posted by: The Bride at August 05, 2010 11:09 PM (h0RtZ)

436 Helen, come here!  You need me immediately!

Posted by: Alexander Graham Caddell at August 05, 2010 11:10 PM (Zi6Cw)

437
My wife fucked Pat Caddell.
My wife fucked Pat Caddell.
Heigh-ho the merry-O,
My wife fucked Pat Caddell.

Posted by: Everybody at August 05, 2010 11:11 PM (Zi6Cw)

438 Pat Caddell put the O in Oprah. Also, Michele's arms. Yeah, do the math.

Posted by: Jollyroger at August 05, 2010 11:12 PM (XY3P4)

439 My dick was the snake surprise in Indy 2. And Kate Capshaw had second helpings.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 11:12 PM (WZFkG)

440 Arrgh, all that time chasing some horrible fish, when it was Pat Caddell I shoulda' been after.

Posted by: Capt. Ahab at August 05, 2010 11:12 PM (qQ0A1)

441 Martha, we are currently pre-revolutionary.  But when I come on the show again tomorrow I'll let you know how it went.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 11:14 PM (Zi6Cw)

442 Pat Cadell kills terrorists over there so that we don't kill terrorists over here.

Posted by: The Q at August 05, 2010 11:18 PM (pfStM)

443 Pat, keep an eye on things while I take a nap, would you?

Posted by: God at August 05, 2010 11:20 PM (Zi6Cw)

444 The other boys crushed Piggy with my cock, not a boulder.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 11:21 PM (WZFkG)

445 I'm just waiting for Pat to tell me what to do.

Posted by: Brett Favre at August 05, 2010 11:25 PM (qQ0A1)

446 Win one for the Gipper Brett, but first you will blow me.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 11:25 PM (WZFkG)

447 Pat Caddell embiggened America.

Posted by: Jebediah Springfield at August 05, 2010 11:30 PM (Zi6Cw)

448 after all the outlandish Chuck Norrissy stuff seems like you should go the other way: Pat Caddell knows karate.

Once I saw Pat Caddell beat up 5 bad guys, but they attacked him in succession, one after another, instead of surrounding him and attacking him all at once. See what I did there?

Posted by: ms. docweasel at August 05, 2010 11:38 PM (rLs4O)

449 er... Pat Caddell is so bad... um... he once did a really bad... uh... thing... um... and nobody... uh... uh... said anything to... uh... him. About it.

Posted by: dead, not obama at August 05, 2010 11:44 PM (t+cg1)

450 Well, okay..

Really?

I don't get.


Posted by: Deety at August 05, 2010 11:47 PM (aVzyR)

451 tee hee

Posted by: dead, not sleeping at August 05, 2010 11:48 PM (t+cg1)

452 Pat Caddell cannot match my oil painter fu.  Nor my brand new (today! squee) YouTube fu.  And my kitty cat, who cannot be conquered, will protect me from anyone or anything, and...hey, wait, what is that shiny thing!

--THE FOLLOWING SCENES EDITED BY KITTY FU--

Oh, I guess it was just a gum wrapper.  And not one of the important ones, either.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at August 05, 2010 11:49 PM (eNxMU)

453 "I wear what I kill".

Posted by: PC on SP at August 05, 2010 11:50 PM (RaGYx)

454 This thread lives as long as I say it does.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 11:51 PM (Zi6Cw)

455 What the hell just happened?

I don't get it.

Posted by: Deety at August 05, 2010 11:53 PM (aVzyR)

456 Apparently, I've said this thread no longer lives...

Posted by: dead, not pat caddell at August 05, 2010 11:57 PM (t+cg1)

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 05, 2010 11:58 PM (Zi6Cw)

458 ...is it safe?

Posted by: dead, not the chicken at August 06, 2010 12:04 AM (t+cg1)

459 I say we take off and launch Pat Caddell from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

Posted by: Cpl Hicks at August 06, 2010 12:11 AM (RlabX)

460 fuck. you.

Posted by: dead, like socialism at August 06, 2010 12:16 AM (t+cg1)

461 The Black Death was actually Pat Caddell. He left the other 2/3 of Europe alive because he doesn't like fucking dead people. That much.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 06, 2010 12:20 AM (RlabX)

462 ...how 'bout some lube, ok?

Posted by: dead, like pat caddell's current 'partner' at August 06, 2010 12:23 AM (t+cg1)

463 HOW 'BOUT THEM RANGERS!!!!111!!

Posted by: dead, like this thread at August 06, 2010 12:29 AM (t+cg1)

464 Once out west, Pat Caddell had to drain the lizard real bad.  The stream had such force behind it, that the very earth was disrupted.  And that's how the Grand Canyon was formed.  No shit.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 06, 2010 12:38 AM (2g2ex)

465 The Ring of Doom was actually Pat Caddell's cockring. Sauron made it for him. After he blew him first.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 06, 2010 12:42 AM (RlabX)

466 I dreamed last night that I was walking through a steamy jungle. I then exited and saw Mt Everest up ahead. I began to climb. When I reached the top I realized I had been climbing Pat Caddell's barbed warcock of doom. And that I had died and gone to heaven.

Posted by: Andrew "gynouterologist" Sullivan at August 06, 2010 12:54 AM (RlabX)

467 Pat Caddell, Patrick Henry without the red hair.

Posted by: Jean at August 06, 2010 12:55 AM (CPefM)

468 After appearing in "Dykes on Bikes 3 Twenty Ten Speeds and a Jar of Lube" Pat Caddell forced Charles Johnson to watch and listen to "Greatest Hits of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir".

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 06, 2010 01:13 AM (RlabX)

469

We prefer Pat Caddell's well wishes 70-30% to Obamacare.

Posted by: Missouri at August 06, 2010 01:45 AM (Pxiyb)

470

Me neither. Whew! I guess we're both safe!

Nah I'm just fucking with you. I *do* have a gun. Now suck my dick.

Fuck off jack-hole!

Pat Cadell is a sweetheart and if you try to fuck with him then you are gonna have to fuck with me.

So take that, you, yous...



Posted by: Deety at August 06, 2010 01:51 AM (aVzyR)

471 Why were those Germans armed with Pat Caddell's teeth?

Because Pat Caddell bitch!

Posted by: Flea at August 06, 2010 02:17 AM (ZwbaN)

472 Meh.

I had a whole cool narrative going...

But mostly, any punch let fly by an 107 lb. girl is pretty much fuckin' useless.

Weird how I got to "kick-ass" in Tompkins Square one night....





Posted by: Deety at August 06, 2010 02:17 AM (aVzyR)

473 Sure the handbag spam arrives and Pat Caddell takes them and fucks them in the ass.

Not in a gay way...

But Like a Viking.

Posted by: Benjamin at August 06, 2010 03:16 AM (dSsZS)

474 Pat Caddell has a Louis Vuotto bag made of the skins of men foolish enough to ask for their abducted wives back. Pretty sure he keeps the wives in the bag when they aren't blowing him.

Posted by: Glib Tunafish at August 06, 2010 03:30 AM (RlabX)

475 If former Scottsdale area Police Detective, Larry, wasn't currently in a coma, he'd tell you all about the secret file "Pat Cadell's Man-Hammer vs. Bob Crane". 

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at August 06, 2010 03:41 AM (HaYO4)

476 I reckon that Pat feller is the only man  who ever got me 't eat biscuits with honey when I a wanted mustard with 'em. Mmmm-hmmm.

Posted by: Karl Childers at August 06, 2010 03:54 AM (qXWQ/)

477 Explain to me how Jimmy Carter could have sucked so much with Pat Caddell on his team? That's like going to the Super Bowl with Bret Favre and losing.

Posted by: Little Miss Spellcheck at August 06, 2010 03:57 AM (xqhoO)

478 Maybe working with Carter is what made Caddell so adept at spotting losing positions.

Posted by: Nighhawk at August 06, 2010 04:00 AM (OtQXp)

479 I saw Pat Caddell at a restaurant eating a side of beef and four roasted chickens.
I wanted his autograph on my wife's ass so I sent her over to get it.
God I miss her. sniff

Posted by: John Wayne at August 06, 2010 04:06 AM (H+LJc)

480 495 Explain to me how Jimmy Carter could have sucked so much with Pat Caddell on his team? That's like going to the Super Bowl with Bret Favre and losing.

Posted by: Little Miss Spellcheck at August 06, 2010 07:57 AM (xqhoO)

I see what you did there.

Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at August 06, 2010 04:06 AM (YVZlY)

481 Lions, tigers and Pat Cadell. Oh,my!

Posted by: Dorothy at August 06, 2010 04:17 AM (SBIko)

482 I taught Pat Cadell everything he knows.

Posted by: Alexei Vayner at August 06, 2010 04:36 AM (MMC8r)

483 Pat Caddell doesn't regress to the mean.
He makes other people regress to the mean.

Posted by: Hadji the Muslim Comic at August 06, 2010 04:39 AM (ruzrP)

484 Pat Caddell once push-polled an entire womens college in New Hampshire.

and by "push-polled" I mean "fucked."

There was a 100% response rate .... for Pat.

Posted by: Hadji the Muslim Comic at August 06, 2010 04:41 AM (ruzrP)

485 Pat Caddell Killed Cock Robin ... using the head of Alfredo Garcia.

Posted by: Hadji the Muslim Comic at August 06, 2010 04:44 AM (ruzrP)

486

What you lookin' at? You all a bunch of fuckin' assholes. You know why? You don't have the guts to be what you wanna be? You need people like me. You need people like me so you can point your fuckin' fingers and say, "That's the bad guy." So... what that make you? Good? You're not good. You just know how to hide, how to lie. Me, I don't have that problem. Me, I always tell the truth. Even when I lie. So say good night to the bad guy! Come on. The last time you gonna see a bad guy like this again, let me tell you. Come on. Make way for the bad guy. There's a bad guy comin' through! Better get outta his way!

Posted by: Rev Dr Pat Cadell at August 06, 2010 04:45 AM (tcSZb)

487 It wasn't Annie Sullivan who taught Helen Keller her first word - it was Pat Caddell

Helen's first word was "Cock"

As was her second, third, fourth, and fifth.

Posted by: Hadji the Muslim Comic at August 06, 2010 04:47 AM (ruzrP)

488 (yawn)

Posted by: Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z at August 06, 2010 04:47 AM (sYrWB)

489 Pat Caddell's dog vacuums the carpet every.damn.day.

Posted by: Hadji the Muslim Comic at August 06, 2010 04:49 AM (ruzrP)

490 Pat Caddell's the only man who told DOCTOR Amy Bishop to shut the fuck up and survived.

Posted by: Alexei Vayner at August 06, 2010 04:56 AM (MMC8r)

491 Pat Caddell's lazy eye actually shoots friggin' one-shot one-kill laser beams! It's the only thing in the entire fucking universe more evil than Pat Caddell...

Posted by: FreedomFighter at August 06, 2010 04:58 AM (Odul+)

492 Pat Caddell has a 2200 psi punch and he will break you. But you will blow him first.

Posted by: Glib Tunafish at August 06, 2010 05:03 AM (RlabX)

493 If Pat Caddell was Zeus, I'd forgo the whole "Olympus must fall" plan.

I have Pat Caddell PJs too.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at August 06, 2010 05:06 AM (9hSKh)

494 The Lady of the Lake?  Pat fucked her.
Gave her a sword as a parting gift.

Posted by: Hadji the Muslim Comic at August 06, 2010 05:07 AM (ruzrP)

495

I had cancer of the skin, all of it.

I had it replaced, no anesthesia.

Fuck you.

Posted by: Rev Dr Pat Cadell at August 06, 2010 05:09 AM (tcSZb)

496 lou's wife just woke up sticky, broke and confused.

She calls it a catastrophe.  Pat calls it "Thursday."

Posted by: This Thread is Dead at August 06, 2010 05:10 AM (IQBsP)

497 Against Pat Caddell, there can be no victory.

Posted by: Denethor, Steward of Gondor at August 06, 2010 05:11 AM (IQBsP)

498 Fuck Pat Caddell and the Carter he rode in on.

Posted by: nine coconuts at August 06, 2010 05:12 AM (DHNp4)

499 Pat Caddell doesn't take a dump without a plan

Posted by: Ben at August 06, 2010 05:12 AM (wuv1c)

500 It wasn't sandwich, it was pat's cock that did me in.

Posted by: Mama cass at August 06, 2010 05:13 AM (jkWag)

501 wtf is this adulation of this guy?

He finally realized that the Democratic party is evil and instead of admitting he was wrong for so many years he blames them for being who they have always been.

His argument is that the D's used to stand for the "little guy." When was that? When they stood against reconstruction? When they stood against the civil rights movement? when they stood with the unions in holding down minority and lower class workers? When they encouraged price fixing and destruction of crops to help end the depression? when they created a war in SE Asia out of hubris and disregard for the lives of our servicemen?

The man is delusional. He was wrong then, and maybe now he is older and wiser but unless he admits that this is not a new phenomena I chalk it up to camera whoring - he is only saying what get him airtime on Fox.

Posted by: nine coconuts at August 06, 2010 05:14 AM (DHNp4)

502

My nickname?

Dam plugger.

Posted by: Rev Dr Pat Cadell at August 06, 2010 05:16 AM (tcSZb)

503

You want Pat on that wall

You need Pat on that wall

Posted by: Hussein's Unamerican Bandstand at August 06, 2010 05:19 AM (kcqZS)

504 No matter how many jobs are lost/added, Pat Caddell keeps the unemployment rate at 9.5%. Why? Pat Caddell can screw 9.5% of the population every night without yawning.

Posted by: Doc at August 06, 2010 05:21 AM (MYT77)

505 nine coconuts,

Lighten up, Francis, or Pat Caddell with the big toe is gonna find out how far he can stick it up your ass.

Posted by: Sergeant Hulka at August 06, 2010 05:21 AM (IQBsP)

506 519 Don't overthink it.It's just fun.

Posted by: steevy at August 06, 2010 05:21 AM (iZnPW)

507 The folks who get all worked up and oh-so-earnest on a clown thread are always good for a chuckle.

Posted by: A Balrog of Morgoth at August 06, 2010 05:23 AM (IQBsP)

508

"I 'aint addicted to no mutha-fuckin' crack! The mutha-fuckin' crack is addicted to me!"

- Pat Caddell at a "Take Back the Night" rally, Soho New York 2003.

 

Posted by: JDW at August 06, 2010 05:24 AM (uw+0A)

509

Cleaning up the Omega Lambda sorority girls after Pat Caddell visited was the WORST.

Posted by: Mike Rowe at August 06, 2010 05:27 AM (kcqZS)

510 Pat Caddell removed the word "unexpectedly" from the dictionary. Why? With Pat Caddell, you expect everything, and get even more.

Posted by: Doc at August 06, 2010 05:28 AM (MYT77)

511 Pat has to take huge doses of weenie-shrinking anabolic steroids daily just to keep it under two feet.

Posted by: Little Miss Spellcheck at August 06, 2010 05:29 AM (xqhoO)

512 Do I dye my beard?Only with the blood of my enemies,bitch.

Posted by: Par Caddel at August 06, 2010 05:29 AM (iZnPW)

513 530 What scrunt just fucked up my name?

Posted by: Pat Caddel at August 06, 2010 05:31 AM (iZnPW)

514 531, yeah.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 06, 2010 05:33 AM (IQBsP)

515 529 Pat has to take huge doses of weenie-shrinking anabolic steroids daily just to keep it under two feet. miles.

FIFY, lest Pat gets offended and goes on a rampage again.

Those bouts of earthquakes we've been having are due to ol' Pat's recent conquests.


Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at August 06, 2010 05:36 AM (9hSKh)

516 531 TWO D'S and TWO L's ASSHOLE!!

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 06, 2010 05:36 AM (iZnPW)

517

"TWO D'S and TWO L's ASSHOLE!!"

-Pat Cadel at Ace of Spades, August 06, 2010

Posted by: JDW at August 06, 2010 05:41 AM (uw+0A)

518

Just declassified today:  The United States dropped Pat Caddell on Hiroshima on August 6, 1945.

John Bolton's 'stache was just happy to be on the podium when Caddell's won gold.

Pat Caddell stampeded cattle through the Vatican.

The U.S. is phasing out F-22 production because we already have Pat Caddell.

Those aren't drone strikes in the Af-Pak theatre.  It's just Pat Caddell On Tour.

Why does the Tower in Pisa lean?  It was ruining Pat Caddell's tan.

Adam Gadahn didn't always lisp, but he heard that Pat Caddell listened to him once and developed a nervous tic.

 

Posted by: Steve the Pirate at August 06, 2010 05:42 AM (W54Uh)

519 The folks who get all worked up and oh-so-earnest on a clown thread are always good for a chuckle.

Posted by: A Balrog of Morgoth

 

You mean that these aren't all real?

Posted by: Guy who comes by the title of Moron honestly at August 06, 2010 06:24 AM (R2fpr)

520 That's it. I'm goin Caddell on ur ass.

Posted by: Get some at August 06, 2010 06:45 AM (0Wlnd)

521 He's deep. This pat guy

Posted by: Sam w at August 06, 2010 07:02 AM (6/DSs)

522

That Martha MacCallum must have balls the size of Pelosi's head to interrupt Caddell multiple times. 

Maybe he's doing her under the desk while talking just to keep things interesting.

Posted by: motionview at August 06, 2010 07:22 AM (lKDF0)

523

Just declassified today:  The United States dropped Pat Caddell on Hiroshima on August 6, 1945.

Wow -- 65 years to the day.

Now we have a president who goes around the world sayng Pat Caddell is off the table. ...

(sigh)

Posted by: FireHorse at August 06, 2010 07:27 AM (cQyWA)

524 I saw Pat Caddell drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's
His hair was perfect

Posted by: mpfs at August 06, 2010 07:30 AM (iYbLN)

525 You don't splooge Pat Caddell.
Pat Caddell splooges YOU!

Posted by: mpfs at August 06, 2010 07:32 AM (iYbLN)

526 The "boiler in the basement" at Black Diamond Bay? -- (whispers) that was Pat Caddell.

The Greek, oh, hell, that was just Onassis.

Posted by: Bob Dylan at August 06, 2010 07:35 AM (up5GF)

527

The man is delusional. He was wrong then, and maybe now he is older and wiser but unless he admits that this is not a new phenomena I chalk it up to camera whoring - he is only saying what get him airtime on Fox.

Well you have to hand it to him for having the best beard dye job since the late lamented Billy Mays.

And rape jokes are hysterically funny, they always work for me.

Posted by: Sandra Bernhard at August 06, 2010 08:00 AM (+FkcS)

528 Pat Caddell not only rides the Red River, he drinks from it.

Posted by: garrett at August 06, 2010 08:03 AM (mOlbx)

529 Cæddell delenda est.

Posted by: Cato the Uneducated at August 06, 2010 08:36 AM (up5GF)

530 Is the blog broken? Even ace is usually up by now.

Posted by: dagny at August 06, 2010 09:34 AM (pSFPI)

531 Pat Caddell can divide by zero.

Posted by: Jon in TX at August 06, 2010 09:35 AM (lRqIF)

532

Eres grande, Pad Caddell!

Posted by: Prop 1070 at August 06, 2010 10:53 AM (Pxiyb)

533 Pat Cadell says that after he takes a crap he has to strangle all the turds so they don't go out and hurt people. Pat Cadell turned Nasa down when they offered to make him an astronaut. "Fuck space" he said. "Yeah", they replied with tears in their eyes, " Fuck space. You're right Pat." Nasa is now primarily concerned with analyzing polls. Several suspension bridges in the United States are held together entirely by small amounts of Pat Cadell's dried semen. When a normal guy fucks a dog it is a depraved act of beastiality. When Pat Cadell fucks a dog it moves the culture forward and gets 125 million views on youtube (and the dog writes a letter to penthouse about it.) Pat Cadell once went fishing in the Atlantic. he jumped out of the boat and ten minutes later climbed back into the boat with an exausted 400 lb tuna. "You get in those fucking cans! Right now! " he shouted. The Tuna complied. No dolphins were harmed.

Posted by: cackfinger at August 06, 2010 01:11 PM (TUBcJ)

534 " Pat Cadell says that after he takes a crap he has* to strangle all the turds so they don't go out and hurt people. " * Well, technically he doesn't HAVE to, but he CHOOSES to.

Posted by: cackfinger at August 06, 2010 01:14 PM (TUBcJ)

535 :lol

Congratulations, this thread is now #3 on google search...

http://www.google.com/webhp?hl=en#&q=pat+caddell

Posted by: Smapty at August 06, 2010 03:16 PM (bAySe)

536 Someone once told me "lead, follow or get out of the way", only problem with that is the only way anyone stays in front of Pat Cadell is bent over with my dick in their ass.  So really the saying should be "lead or follow but if you think you're going to lead and Pat Cadell is around definitely bring some lube and don't stand there looking stupid when I'm done expecting a reach-around, get the fuck out of my way".

Posted by: Pat Cadell at August 06, 2010 04:56 PM (VOigi)

537 "Sinkhole" in Haiti? Think again, mutherfucker.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 06, 2010 11:57 PM (9b6FB)

538 You actually clicked on cheap jordan shoes, replica watches, and lace wigs because this is MY thread.

Posted by: Pat Caddell at August 07, 2010 10:22 AM (9b6FB)

539 `¡Ä,,¡Ä
(;`･¦Ø･ ¡¡｡･ﾟ･¡Ð)
/¡¡ £ï©¥©c¥Ë¥Ë¥Õ))
¤·©`-£Ê

Posted by: rmt at June 17, 2011 06:08 AM (HBYXu)

Posted by: Louis Vuitton Bags at June 24, 2011 03:12 PM (1gpx5)

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