Ace of Spades HQ

May 13, 2010

Pec Implant FAIL
— Ace

Minor content warning on this, as, while I don't think this guy meant to present himself as a transsexual, that's what he's wound up doing.

I think the guy is a bodybuilder. And he wanted really big pecs. So he got some really big silicone pec implants, figuring they'd make him look strong.

He thought, I think, they'd look like muscles.

They don't. They look like knockers.

And nothing says Tough Guy like a swaying, undulating he-rack. Nothing says "I could crush you like a grape" like pendulous mosoms.

Biggest douche ever? Certainly he's made it to the Sweet Sixteen.

Thanks to Dr. Spank, who cautions it's a once-you've-seen-you-cannot-unsee thing.

More Silly: AT-AT bunk bed.

Via Starchambermaid.

Synthol? Commenters say this probably isn't an implant, but an injectable oil called synthol, which temporarily bulks up whatever part of the body it's shot into. Of course, it's not muscle, just liquid under your skin.

Never heard of it, myself. Learn something new every day (unless you're cautious about it, like I am).

Here's some synthol freaks.

Posted by: Ace at 01:17 PM | Comments (93)
Post contains 181 words, total size 1 kb.

1
wow should I?

Posted by: Tennesse Tuxedo at May 13, 2010 01:21 PM (uFokq)

2
brb...

Posted by: Tennesse Tuxedo at May 13, 2010 01:21 PM (uFokq)

3 Heh heh. I don't think implants that are supposed to be muscles are normally made out of silicon. At least not the same kind of floppy silicon.

Posted by: Ace's liver at May 13, 2010 01:21 PM (XIXhw)

I'm deeply concerned about Dr. Spank.

Deeply concerned.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at May 13, 2010 01:21 PM (P33XN)

5
okay, there's thing called Synthol, I think, and these buffoons inject their muscles with it to bulk up themselves silly.

Posted by: Tennesse Tuxedo at May 13, 2010 01:22 PM (uFokq)

Damn it.

My work pc is blocking this.

*note: do not click on links at work tipped by Dr. Spank

** filed under-- O for obvious

Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 13, 2010 01:23 PM (pLTLS)

7 His name is Robert Paulson.

Posted by: damian at May 13, 2010 01:24 PM (4WbTI)

8 haha

Posted by: fartbubble at May 13, 2010 01:25 PM (gAmQ1)

9 She needs to grow out her 'do and ditch the headband.
Boys don't like short hair.

Posted by: lauraw at May 13, 2010 01:25 PM (VNvzz)

Looks like everything on this guy is an implant. Too bad they forgot the brain.

I remember coming across some hideous reality show where the contestant was getting calf implants. Dude. Walk up the stairs and develop your calves. How hard is that?

Posted by: Unruly at May 13, 2010 01:25 PM (SVZM2)

11
yeah, I'll bet my left nut it's the result of Synthol. Looks like he injected his biceps, too.

here's what Synthol can do for You!

Posted by: Tennesse Tuxedo at May 13, 2010 01:25 PM (uFokq)

12 I refuse to look.

Posted by: Guy Who Refuses To Look At Yucky Things at May 13, 2010 01:25 PM (jMKeS)

13 That's not fat, ace, it's bulk. Everyone knows that! Now if you'll forgive me, I've got to return to my Weight Gain 4000 regimen. Bulkin' up. Bulkin' up.

Posted by: eric cartman at May 13, 2010 01:26 PM (Y7Nke)

On the subject of douche bags:

Jewish Donors Enthralled Outraged by Articulate Statesman Â‘SociopathÂ’ ObamaÂ…Â”

Solomonia

Posted by: Hussein the Plumber at May 13, 2010 01:26 PM (r1h5M)

15 Nope, won't look, but will read the comments.

Posted by: Paladin at May 13, 2010 01:26 PM (ZO0u/)

16
and here's the asshole in the sweater without a shirt...he's a Synthol freak.

Posted by: Tennesse Tuxedo at May 13, 2010 01:26 PM (uFokq)

17
he's pretty much injecting fatty acids into his muscles as 'filler'

heheheh, kinda the opposite of liposuction

Posted by: Tennesse Tuxedo at May 13, 2010 01:28 PM (uFokq)

18 okay, there's thing called Synthol, I think, and these buffoons inject their muscles with it to bulk up themselves silly.

I think that's it. If you get synthol injections and have no muscles, you get a result like saline-bag breast implants. Silicone doesn't splash around.

Posted by: oblig. at May 13, 2010 01:28 PM (x7Ao8)

19 Boys don't like short hair.

Posted by: lauraw at May 13, 2010 05:25 PM (VNvzz)

I do

Posted by: fartbubble at May 13, 2010 01:29 PM (gAmQ1)

20 idiot + vanity always = douche

Posted by: Annabelle at May 13, 2010 01:29 PM (TLDSt)

21 I'd like to see this guy wearing a He-Man harness, riding a big cat.

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at May 13, 2010 01:29 PM (wd0Iq)

Boys don't like short hair.

It's not that we don't, it's that so few chicks can pull it off successfully.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at May 13, 2010 01:30 PM (P33XN)

23 I found myself getting turned on by that video.

Posted by: gheydragon at May 13, 2010 01:30 PM (I+U8m)

24
I'd rather see the Japanese woman-recipients of pubic hair transplants...

just sayin

Posted by: Tennesse Tuxedo at May 13, 2010 01:31 PM (uFokq)

25
I'd be pretty turned on but they're too far apart to really get my junk all up in between them. I'm gonna have to pass.

Posted by: Randy - The Guy Who Will Hit Anything at May 13, 2010 01:31 PM (UA4gE)

26 So Snapdragon injected that shit into his head?

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at May 13, 2010 01:31 PM (P33XN)

I refuse to look.

I wish I had. At least he bought the entire catalogue of Douchebaggery accessories and attachments, not least among them tribal tattoos.

Posted by: Guy Who Wishes He Could Unsee Things at May 13, 2010 01:31 PM (XBdMr)

28 See, the joke is that I'm referring to him as a woman, and giving him 'tips' on how to make the boys like him, not that...look, nevermind.

Never heard of that synthol stuff. Those videos are horrifying.

Posted by: lauraw at May 13, 2010 01:33 PM (VNvzz)

29 Class, here we have the left hand side of the bell curve. Don't be like them.

Posted by: pep at May 13, 2010 01:33 PM (0K3p3)

30
I bet he has a designer rectum. Probably went with the counterclockwise "Rebel YellÂ®" twist. I can tell by the way he rolls his Rs.

Posted by: Randy - The Guy Who Will Hit Anything at May 13, 2010 01:34 PM (UA4gE)

31 Bet a fiver this guy made his manmeat look like a pufferfish.

Posted by: It always comes to this at May 13, 2010 01:34 PM (XBdMr)

32
I think he's portugoose.

This is funny, anyway.

Posted by: Tennesse Tuxedo at May 13, 2010 01:34 PM (uFokq)

33 I bet he has a designer rectum. Probably went with the counterclockwise "Rebel YellÂ®" twist.

A rifled rectum? For what? More distance?

Posted by: pep at May 13, 2010 01:35 PM (0K3p3)

34 Lauraw will look at anything.

Posted by: Life Cereal Boy at May 13, 2010 01:35 PM (jMKeS)

35
synthol is the new thing for Douchebags Who Go To Clubs^tm

Posted by: Tennesse Tuxedo at May 13, 2010 01:36 PM (uFokq)

36 What I found disturbing was the singing.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at May 13, 2010 01:36 PM (I1/U/)

37 Let me take a look at what's going on here.

Posted by: Spartan Baby Inspector at May 13, 2010 01:36 PM (jMKeS)

rifled rectum? For what? More distance?

She walked in through the out door...

Posted by: Prince at May 13, 2010 01:37 PM (XBdMr)

39 If it wasn't so serious that video would be a joke.

Posted by: Vic at May 13, 2010 01:37 PM (6taRI)

40
another thing they do: about an hour before douching it up^tm at clubs, they take a diuretic (I forgot which, but they drink some nasty shit) that makes them shit their brains out and get all vascular (veiny).

Posted by: Tennesse Tuxedo at May 13, 2010 01:38 PM (uFokq)

41 Mr. He-Bags doesn't need to impress anyone. He has himself.

Posted by: Ronster at May 13, 2010 01:39 PM (I+U8m)

42 Can you get drunk on synthehol?

Posted by: Scotty at May 13, 2010 01:39 PM (jMKeS)

43
34 I bet he has a designer rectum. Probably went with the counterclockwise "Rebel YellÂ®" twist.

A rifled rectum? For what? More distance?
Posted by: pep

The "Rebel YellÂ®" is mostly for added audio volume. The work is done mostly at the pucker. The "Yankee ClipperÂ®" is a clockwise twist for more tapered snap-offs and less splash.

Posted by: Randy - The Guy Who Will Hit Anything at May 13, 2010 01:40 PM (UA4gE)

Tennesse Tux

You seem to know way too much about this stuff.

Posted by: Ronster at May 13, 2010 01:41 PM (I+U8m)

45 That silver necklace was bangin' that cleavage, huh fellas?

Posted by: Synthehol designer jewelry at May 13, 2010 01:43 PM (pq986)

46 He might be gay. Just sayin'.

Posted by: Excitable Andi at May 13, 2010 01:44 PM (VXBR1)

47
Preparation H!

That's the stuff. Dummies are RUBBING this stuff on their stomachs to get 'abs.'

The idea is the Prep H 'pulls' the water from your subcutaneous layer of skin (or whatever), you know what I mean. They do this about an hour before they go clubbin'.

Posted by: Tennesse Tuxedo at May 13, 2010 01:45 PM (uFokq)

48 Check out some of the you tube vids for that synthol. They got one guy who is getting it drained back out of his arm because its infected. Stuff just gushes (along with what looks like a quarter gallon of pus.)

Posted by: Deathknyte at May 13, 2010 01:46 PM (12blM)

idiot + vanity always = douche

Not always.

Posted by: Aleksey Vayner at May 13, 2010 01:47 PM (jMKeS)

50 Synthol sounds like a surefire recipe to get a pulmonary embolism. Unbelievable how stupid people are. I watched the vid, Flapwaggin', is that you?

Posted by: runningrn at May 13, 2010 01:48 PM (CfmlF)

51 52 Reminded me of my favorite Demotivational poster.
TOOL
When you have no style or imagination, just copy your friends

Posted by: Republicans in the Senate at May 13, 2010 05:51 PM (qmecx)

53 damn socks keep getting in the way.

Posted by: Dave C at May 13, 2010 05:52 PM (qmecx)

Oddly enough, it still would work.

Posted by: Deathknyte at May 13, 2010 01:54 PM (12blM)

52
haha, that pic of those assholes at the club is one the more famous pics on the 'net.

p-choppers had a field day with that pic and other photos from that series.

Posted by: Tennesse Tuxedo at May 13, 2010 01:57 PM (uFokq)

53 Hey, I've got an idea...

Posted by: Porn Star Wannabe at May 13, 2010 02:00 PM (4XzsU)

54 for those that didnt look...good call

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at May 13, 2010 02:03 PM (7VvJB)

55 But if they all start, you know, lezzing out, Butters, just roll with it.

Posted by: eric cartman at May 13, 2010 02:12 PM (Y7Nke)

56 Oh. Is this not the Kagan thread? Never mind.

Posted by: eric cartman at May 13, 2010 02:12 PM (Y7Nke)

57 http://tinyurl.com/custom-coffin-for-the-boob

Someone already planned for Biggest douche ever?'s future with a custom coffin.

Posted by: wtd at May 13, 2010 02:12 PM (gxT3Y)

58 Dude,

WTF ? WTF-F?? WTF-F-F???

Dude...

Posted by: societyis2blame at May 13, 2010 02:27 PM (7ZyYf)

59 All this crap is going to coalesce into one big disease like AIDS. All the tattoos, the botox, this shooting oil into yourself, the steroids, silicon will finally merge someday in some group or person and create a virulent virus that kills you or makes you stupid....wait a minute we have that now they are called liberals.

Posted by: Jehu at May 13, 2010 02:31 PM (hISIg)

Superman costumes (Deluxe $39.99) have more realistic muscles.

Posted by: Cincinnatus at May 13, 2010 02:33 PM (r60xu)

Oh no (to the link, and to the sad fact that I looked).

Is it wrong to laugh?

Posted by: unknown jane at May 13, 2010 02:40 PM (5/yRG)

62 @unknown jane

I would say that laughing is a public duty in this case. These men must be ridiculed for the common good. From a distance, obviously, as these men are also, quite probably, violently insane.

Posted by: Cameron at May 13, 2010 02:44 PM (385zF)

63 Scary thing is, parts of the horse industry have been using this synthenol stuff for quite some time...I see, like a lot of the drugs used on horses, it's found its way over to people now...

Posted by: unknown jane at May 13, 2010 02:45 PM (5/yRG)

64 Chairman LMAO is not laughing. That was... disturbing.

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at May 13, 2010 02:48 PM (snlsw)

65 So, basically, Mr. Big Liquid Muscle Boy is going to get the living shit beat out of him by some average guy who isn't fooled.

Sure hope that winds up on YouTube.

Posted by: nickless at May 13, 2010 02:48 PM (MMC8r)

66 68 Now that would be worth seeing!

Posted by: unknown jane at May 13, 2010 02:52 PM (5/yRG)

67 "the horse industry have been using this synthenol stuff for quite some time..." I'm trying not to picture a big titted horse.

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at May 13, 2010 02:53 PM (wd0Iq)

68 Any guesses on his cup size? (No, not down there, but for the ones workin' the chain, morons!)

He's gotta be a double D.

Posted by: bigpinkfluffybunny at May 13, 2010 02:53 PM (KWhJd)

69 Can you put synthol in your dick? Not that I need to or anything. I'm just wondering if other people... I have this friend who was wondering about it.

Posted by: Wannabe Thailand Bee-Sting Penis Cop at May 13, 2010 02:58 PM (jMKeS)

70 Oh, that was Indonesia.

Posted by: Wannabe Indonesian Bee-Sting Penis Cop at May 13, 2010 03:00 PM (jMKeS)

71 I'm starting to worry about Ace..

Posted by: willow the other shlub at May 13, 2010 03:09 PM (7FgWm)

72 It's Synthol. Same stuff Ms. Kagan injects into her buttocks.

Posted by: Ted Kennedy's Gristle Encased Head at May 13, 2010 03:13 PM (+lsX1)

73 Well, someone should ask this dude (?) -- now that he's done the definitive experiment -- if he's ever bored.

Posted by: Y-not at May 13, 2010 03:14 PM (Kn9r7)

He might be catering to a specific fetish: People who like their chicano(?) body builder rough-trade to have big boobs. There are a lot of weirdos out there.

As a normalish woman, I would not hit it.

Posted by: Black Mamba at May 13, 2010 03:17 PM (tSxym)

75 Ace,

Imperial Walkers have 4 legs. AT-ATs have 2 legs. That bed is clearly an Imperial Walker bed.

Posted by: Rod Rescueman at May 13, 2010 03:23 PM (QxGmu)

76 ya know as a female, i'd rather have a real guy that was slightly out of shape than a fake moob, or fake guy in any way.

Posted by: willow the other shlub at May 13, 2010 03:23 PM (7FgWm)

77 AT-ATs have 2 legs.

No, AT-STs have 2 legs.

Posted by: Waterhouse at May 13, 2010 03:24 PM (3pCHr)

78 Six Degrees of Seinfeld

Posted by: OhioDude at May 13, 2010 03:30 PM (XpjBH)

Hard to guess tittay size when on a roided douchebag. I'm gonna say firm C-D cup.

I was only slightly disturbed by his high, firm ones, the nipples on the bottom is what jacked it to eleventy.

Posted by: di butler, unlicensed pharmacist at May 13, 2010 03:31 PM (S3xX1)

ya know as a female, i'd rather have a real guy that was slightly out of shape than a fake moob, or fake guy in any way.

What about fake giant weaners?

Posted by: Wannabe Indonesian Bee-Sting Penis Cop at May 13, 2010 03:42 PM (jMKeS)

81 Walkers are AT-ATs, "Chicken-Walkers' are AT-Sts. AT-AT is all-terrain armored transport, At-ST is all-terrain Scout transport. I didn't have the action figures but my brother did, and because I wasn't allowed to play with them, I read the living shit out of the boxes they came in.

Posted by: ace at May 13, 2010 03:49 PM (66DVY)

82 #49 said it-- this video of someone getting their infected, Synthol-filled arm drained is REVOLTING.

You can't help but watch.

Posted by: Ugh at May 13, 2010 03:57 PM (Q5RJh)

83 Pec-plants.....just say NO. Do it for "the children."

Posted by: Lady in Black (formerly Twinks until I found out what it really meant) at May 13, 2010 04:00 PM (VYKgG)

84 you know what pisses me off the most? Is the discretionary income he had (or loan he/she got) to pay for this. when he/she could've purchased a few harley's for the same money. You know who's a bigger freak? the dr that performed the surgery.

Posted by: Learflyer at May 13, 2010 04:09 PM (5aVOy)

85 Hmmm.

"I refuse to look."

Bingo!

Posted by: memomachine at May 13, 2010 04:11 PM (MwCol)

86 Gregg Valentino was hated by body builders for injecting that oil. He had an arm burst open. His arms were just gross.

Posted by: sig at May 13, 2010 04:17 PM (2i+Vz)

87 @83 "nipples on the bottom is what jacked it to eleventy"

yup, the nipples on the bottom -- not a good look, topping off an otherwise very, very bad look

Posted by: texasmamma at May 13, 2010 04:36 PM (4L69q)

88 Long beautiful hair demonstrates health and fertility in a potential mom. Men do prefer women who have long hair because they all around look healthier.

Women with short hair can be beautiful if they have many other signs of health and beauty.

This makes me incredibly sad for a friend of mine who lost her hair recently due to chemo, but the truth is hair is a critical aspect to most women.

Posted by: Lex Luthor, Ruler of Australia at May 13, 2010 04:49 PM (dUOK+)

70 If my link fu was at least functional, I could put up links -- and yes, the halter horses in question do look like they have moobs. It's disgusting; they're also 'roided up to the max, plus given whopping amounts of creatine and other things that might "build muscle" -- there's been a big debate in the horse world for the past 25+ years about it; it's highly unpopular among a lot of people, but that doesn't stop that segment of the industry (oddly, they get less flack from the animal rights nuts than the racers do).

Most of the horses, by the time they are 8 they are hobbling, sick, washed up wrecks; many don't live to see their 12th birthday(and the average life span of a horse is around 24).

Posted by: unknown jane at May 13, 2010 04:50 PM (5/yRG)

90 93
Posted by: unknown jane at May 13, 2010 08:50 PM (5/yRG)

Oh, my. That is horrible. Typical that it goes unnoticied. After all, the real inhumane stuff doesn't sell so well with the PETA crowd. They'd rather go after meat-eaters.

Posted by: soulpile at May 13, 2010 05:45 PM (afWhQ)

91 Yep that's synthol. Despised by anyone who's serious about lifting, and a quick and easy way to spot an uber-douche.

Posted by: brak at May 13, 2010 05:58 PM (W5NBA)

92 The guy got implants or "synthol" everywhere. Check it out

http://tinyurl.com/ykg4yrn

look at his trapezius muscles

Posted by: pajama momma at May 13, 2010 08:14 PM (fo4Wl)

93 The most disturbing thing is not some guy with moobs, but rather the fact that there are morons arguing over Star Wars vehicles. That just ain't right.

Posted by: Steve L. at May 14, 2010 04:03 AM (Gkhxf)

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