Ace of Spades HQ

January 22, 2010

Planes With Frickin' Lasers!
— DrewM

You're gonna need some pudding after you watch this.

Seriously, if you only watch one airborne laser test video this year, this is it. It's like the Enterprise firing its phasers.

The missile wasn't destroyed but that wasn't part of the plan.

Seriously, I'll be in my bunk.

Enjoy it while you can before Obama sees it and cancels the program. If they do, we're going to have a fundraiser to buy this bad boy. We'll use it to light the skull!

Oh, not quite as awesome but pretty damn awesome. Lasers to destroy IEDs.

Via Danger Room

Not sure how useful it is since the bad guys don't seem to leave them laying around like that but still...awesome.

Posted by: DrewM at 02:06 PM | Comments (136)
Post contains 127 words, total size 2 kb.

1 I want Sharks with Freaking Lasers

Posted by: Dr. Evil at January 22, 2010 02:10 PM (fqxV7)

2 When they stick 'em on sharks, I'll be impressed.

Posted by: Dr. Evil at January 22, 2010 02:11 PM (ehLtp)

3 If I leave a Hot Pocket out on my balcony, could the Air Force cook it for me with that fancy device?

Posted by: Hungry Hippo at January 22, 2010 02:11 PM (8+EXe)

4 Bastard.

Posted by: Dr. Evil at January 22, 2010 02:11 PM (ehLtp)

RT: @: SKY NEWS: The UK's Home Office has raised the terror threat level from SUBSTANTIAL to SEVERE. A statement is expected shortly

has anything happened since, (don't have a t.v)

The terror threat level in the UK is raised from "substantial" to "severe", meaning an attack is "highly likely

Home Secretary Alan Johnson sought to reassure the public, saying: "I have to emphasise the fact it does not mean an attack is imminent."

He said the Joint Terrorism Analysis Centre (JTAC) keeps the threat level under constant review and makes its judgements based on a "broad range of factors".

Mr Johnson said those factors include "the intent and capabilities of international terrorist groups in the UK and overseas".

He went on: "We still face a real and serious threat to the UK from international terrorism.

@ U K Sky News

Posted by: calgon at January 22, 2010 02:11 PM (7FgWm)

6 Lasers are also good for getting the warts off my ass.

Posted by: Darth Nihilus69 at January 22, 2010 02:12 PM (GfYt/)

7 sorry went O/T

Posted by: Not a calgon moment for willow at January 22, 2010 02:13 PM (7FgWm)

8 "The UK's Home Office has raised the terror threat level from SUBSTANTIAL to SEVERE"

They heard a shipment of orthodontic appliances were headed for the country

Posted by: Sir Loin of Beef at January 22, 2010 02:15 PM (8+EXe)

9 When's this site getting lasers?

Posted by: Moe Lester at January 22, 2010 02:15 PM (ehLtp)

10 Stay on target...stay on target...stay on target...

Posted by: GoldLeader at January 22, 2010 02:15 PM (Zn8d5)

11 BOOOOOOSH!

Posted by: Jimi at January 22, 2010 02:17 PM (fqxV7)

12 Ok, but where are the photon torpedos?

Posted by: Intrepid at January 22, 2010 02:17 PM (92zkk)

13 Can those work for plastic surgery?

Posted by: Nancy Pelosi at January 22, 2010 02:18 PM (QECjC)

14 IED's?.......Never heard of 'em!

Posted by: Charlie Gibson at January 22, 2010 02:18 PM (fqxV7)

What comes after SEVERE?????

DEAD??

Posted by: gus at January 22, 2010 02:18 PM (Vqruj)

16 Dip-Tastic!

Posted by: Jimi at January 22, 2010 02:19 PM (fqxV7)

17 WE WANT OUR MONEY BACK

Posted by: kefka at January 22, 2010 02:20 PM (n1uMU)

18 I am mother-fucking tired, of these mother-fucking lasers, on this mother-fucking plane.

Posted by: angler at January 22, 2010 02:20 PM (SwjAj)

19 I hate to burst your bubble, but look at the link at the bottom that says "Obama cancelled." The project was scrapped April 2009. This laser-shooting is just being kept around for pointless R&D.

Posted by: Ella at January 22, 2010 02:21 PM (WPjES)

20 Bonerific!

Posted by: DelD at January 22, 2010 02:21 PM (eWtdM)

Imagaine a flaming SKULL with lasers eminating from it's eyes.

Imagine a ROCK BAND with a PIG floating HIGH ABOVE the STADIUM.

The SKULL turns it's eyes to the PIG and BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

Next thing you hear is.

"how can you have any PUDDING if you don't eat yourrrrrrrrr meat?"

Fucking awesome.

Posted by: gus at January 22, 2010 02:22 PM (Vqruj)

22 It could also inflict Biblical punishments on distant individuals. Snap, crackle, pop.

Posted by: Wm T Sherman at January 22, 2010 02:22 PM (w41GQ)

23 "As long as I am Precedent, I will fight for you!!! And your little laser too."

Posted by: TOTUS at January 22, 2010 02:22 PM (CfmlF)

24 It was cancelled so that foreign people would like us more, right?

Posted by: Wm T Sherman at January 22, 2010 02:23 PM (w41GQ)

Yeah, I forgot, Opie is all AGAINST "UNPROVEN" Science.

Like AGW. or FETAL STEM CELL BREAK THROUGHS.

Oh and MARXISM.

Posted by: gus at January 22, 2010 02:24 PM (Vqruj)

The "Reverse Jesus" cancelled a Military Advancement?

Shocking!

Why do I have the feeling, the next thing getting cancelled is me?

Posted by: Jimi at January 22, 2010 02:24 PM (fqxV7)

27 20 I hate to burst your bubble, but look at the link at the bottom that says "Obama cancelled." The project was scrapped April 2009. This laser-shooting is just being kept around for pointless R&D.

No, this project is being kept around so we can figure out how to target them teabaggers and their puddin' cups.

Posted by: Janet Manpolitano at January 22, 2010 02:24 PM (CfmlF)

28 You know, while they're digging, the bad guys do leave their explosives lying around. Also, before they're loaded, mortar rounds tend to lie around. If the cost of firing the anti-IED laser is substantially less than the cost of a Hellfire missile or a JDAM, it could be a very valuable tool in preventing IEDs from being planted and in taking out mortar firing positions (I tend to think that when he sees it start to glow, the bad guy is going to leave his ammo and mortar behind and run like hell).

Posted by: stuiec at January 22, 2010 02:24 PM (7AOgy)

29 Where did Mohammad go? And why is there a pair of smoking sandals here?

Posted by: Abdulla Ahkbar at January 22, 2010 02:27 PM (Db2c5)

30 Enjoy it while you can before Obama sees it and cancels the program.

Boy, ain't that the truth.

Posted by: Soap MacTavish at January 22, 2010 02:28 PM (554T5)

31 So can this weapon be used on a crotch bomber's IED? And is its target ranging and acquisition good enough to miss the IED and just hit crotch?

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at January 22, 2010 02:28 PM (swuwV)

32 But can deliver porn?

Posted by: dananjcon at January 22, 2010 02:28 PM (OmGKK)

This laser-shooting is just being kept around for pointless R&D.

I wouldn't say it's "pointless" --- Presidents and their budgets come and go.

Thanks for the link, DrewM.

Posted by: John McKittrick at January 22, 2010 02:29 PM (d00Bk)

34 We have got to buy a shit-load of those IED-lasers and get them to our EOD folks!

Posted by: RoadRunner at January 22, 2010 02:30 PM (tyQJS)

35 why can't we just use the force?
its all around us,
it flows through us.

Posted by: kay at January 22, 2010 02:31 PM (TW1NB)

36 I did a briefing on the ABL program back when I was in AF Officer Training School back in 1995 (I was on the nuke/space track). I remember concluding my briefing by saying "in the future, this laser will cause many balls to be dipped into fondue pots. Cheesy, chocolaty fondue pots"

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at January 22, 2010 02:31 PM (DPM1U)

37 But can it disable my wifes credit card?

Posted by: dananjcon at January 22, 2010 02:31 PM (OmGKK)

38 As long as there aren't any hidden Bible verses printed on it... nothing resembling a cross in the construction... no women flying it... I guess it might be o.k.

Posted by: Military (P.C.) Police at January 22, 2010 02:32 PM (Ni2ye)

39 Owebama cancelled the laser but kept the earthquake weapon that Chavez was talking about? Way to be cost effective! This clown is gonna break the Pentagon too. Lasers have all kinds of applications, earthquakes are awkward and very sloppy.

Posted by: Kwaker at January 22, 2010 02:33 PM (HBqDo)

40 How about we use the lasers on their freaking skulls?

Posted by: GarandFan at January 22, 2010 02:34 PM (ZQBnQ)

41 Laser, Schmazer, Teh bitch has got nothin' on me!

Posted by: Light Colored TOTUS (with negro dialect) at January 22, 2010 02:34 PM (CfmlF)

42 These weapon devs know that Obama won't be president for very long. After Carter was out, Reagan revolutionized our military... crazily, much of that is the military we have today, though some advances have been made.

We're going to need to show the world we aren't the puddle of limp that Obama is telling them we are, and that will mean some of these advancements will be purchased by President Rethuglican.

China needs us, and sadly, we seem to need them, but things are getting a little more tense, and resources are becoming more precious. Iran and other sources of energy will bring China and the US into opposition. Having Peace between the USA and China requires that warfare is a ridiculous proposition on their part.

They are advancing rapidly, too. They have nuts in their military. Russia is practically dead, but they have some stuff for sale. the idea that it would take far more nukes to scratch the USA with these defenses makes nuclear war from a state far less likely.

Posted by: Wigglesworth at January 22, 2010 02:35 PM (dUOK+)

43 But can it remove back hair?

Posted by: dananjcon at January 22, 2010 02:36 PM (OmGKK)

44 40 Owebama cancelled the laser but kept the earthquake weapon
that Chavez was talking about? Way to be cost effective!
This clown is gonna break the Pentagon too.
Lasers have all kinds of applications, earthquakes are awkward and very sloppy. Yeah, looking back now, I'm surprised Obama didn't call out the laser wielding surgeons when he villified tonsil stealing, feet chopping doctors.

Posted by: Light Colored TOTUS (with negro dialect) at January 22, 2010 02:37 PM (CfmlF)

45 33 But can deliver porn?

One day, maybe, one day.

Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at January 22, 2010 02:38 PM (otlXg)

Dratted Sock!

Posted by: runningrn at January 22, 2010 02:38 PM (CfmlF)

47 That is one hell of a cigarette lighter!

Posted by: CDR M at January 22, 2010 02:38 PM (F9LAD)

"ulululululululululululu" *crack* "ow"

Posted by: Freedom Fighter at January 22, 2010 02:39 PM (w41GQ)

49 44 But can it remove pudding encrusted back hair? I think that's what you really meant, dananjcon!

Posted by: runningrn at January 22, 2010 02:39 PM (CfmlF)

50
I think that video is from a Pink Floyd concert. Still cool.

Posted by: Dang at January 22, 2010 02:40 PM (UA4gE)

51 40 Owebama cancelled the laser but kept the earthquake weapon
that Chavez was talking about? Way to be cost effective!
This clown is gonna break the Pentagon too.
Lasers have all kinds of applications, earthquakes are awkward and very sloppy.

Don't worry. Steven Seagal will be around to destroy satellite earthquake weapon. for Chavez, if needed.

Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at January 22, 2010 02:41 PM (otlXg)

52 46 now that's hope n change I can believe in.

Posted by: dananjcon at January 22, 2010 02:41 PM (OmGKK)

Yay...today is the last day for the man-made disaster makers at that hell on Earth Guantanamo Bay who were kidnapped by Bush's fascist thugs during his illegal overseas contingency operations..

Huh...what??

Posted by: Dumb Fucking Libtard at January 22, 2010 02:42 PM (AnTyA)

54 This laser-shooting is just being kept around for pointless R&D until a Republican is back in office.

FIFY

Posted by: shibumi at January 22, 2010 02:42 PM (OKZrE)

Lasers on stun!

Posted by: Captain Kirk at January 22, 2010 02:44 PM (CfmlF)

56 The Air Force could not have picked a more handsome civilian aircraft to use as the test bed.

Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at January 22, 2010 02:44 PM (8PFPH)

57 Maybe O's focused like a laser on jobs and the economy. DOH!

Posted by: ontherocks at January 22, 2010 02:44 PM (HBqDo)

58 That IED video reminds me of all those times I took out ants with a magnifying glass when I was a kid, oh, weeks and weeks ago.

Posted by: rdbrewer at January 22, 2010 02:45 PM (W9fto)

59 Coherent light!

Posted by: Croaker at January 22, 2010 02:46 PM (jC2Vk)

60 When the alert goes to SEVERE, that means the gun comes out of the cabinet, gets loaded and attached to my holster.

Posted by: rawmuse at January 22, 2010 02:48 PM (1IG1n)

61 Obama will steal the lasers for use on the Unicorns he has promised. Retrofitting the horns with lasers will occupy leftist scientists for the remaining three years of his term.

Posted by: dfbaskwill at January 22, 2010 02:50 PM (ndlFj)

62 We should do a Yemen Quake event and throw those Hollyweirds some more work next Friday. Good for the terrorists, good for the left coast economy, win - win.

Posted by: Kwakah at January 22, 2010 02:50 PM (HBqDo)

63 The Advanced Tactical Laser (or ATL) was the airborne laser for tactical use and showed similar success in tests off a modified C-130 last year. Regrettably, the results weren't impressive enough (or the publicity wasn't good enough) to save the program which has since shut down, the aircraft has been de-modified, and is headed for the boneyard.

WildWzl

Posted by: WildWzl at January 22, 2010 02:55 PM (jS9ZE)

64 We're gonna need a lot of pudding. And lasers. But mostly pudding.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at January 22, 2010 02:58 PM (DIYmd)

65 I wish my penis had a laser.

Posted by: Darth Nihilus69 at January 22, 2010 03:03 PM (GfYt/)

66 Please stop. It's the weekend. I need some time off.

Posted by: The Pudding at January 22, 2010 03:05 PM (qWLc4)

What I like best. Teh One. In his infinite wisdom, decided to abandon our missile defende system. Throwing Poland & the Czecks, under the bus. All in an "attempt" to placate the russkies. Bow, Obowma, bow.

So Ombambi's "enlightented" strategy has led to a new Russian rearmenant push. New strategic missiles. New anti-missile defenses. An increase in their naval forces.

How's that Hope & Change, with regard to Russia, working for you?

Posted by: MDr VB1.0 CS1st at January 22, 2010 03:05 PM (ucq49)

O/T but funny Onion Video. "Are Politicians Failing Our Lobbyists?" The money quote: "I personally respond to logos. I'd love to have a president who is more identified by a logo, some kind of shape or amorphous blob." Here's the link:

http://tinyurl.com/63a3zx

Posted by: Captain Kirk at January 22, 2010 03:07 PM (CfmlF)

69 We need to bust our next quake somewhere that it really do more good. Haiti was poor planning. We need a man caused disaster for the man causing disasterers. In tough financial times we can't squander these quakes like we're throwing twinkies around.

Posted by: Kwakah at January 22, 2010 03:07 PM (HBqDo)

70 Yes, but can they kill 12ft tall blue aliens?

Posted by: Hussein the Plumber at January 22, 2010 03:14 PM (r1h5M)

Idea for a new headline: "How About That Scott Brown, Eh?"

Posted by: rdbrewer at January 22, 2010 03:16 PM (LywCv)

72 "The UK's Home Office has raised the terror threat level from SUBSTANTIAL to SEVERE"

OK, but what color would that be?

Posted by: Packy East at January 22, 2010 03:18 PM (CKW49)

73 What color? Taupe.

Posted by: rdbrewer at January 22, 2010 03:22 PM (LywCv)

74
posted by runningsockpuppetrn in the thread below:

Sixty-one percent (61%) of U.S. voters say Congress should drop health care reform and focus on more immediate ways to improve the economy and create jobs.

Isn't the fact that people look to the govt to 'fix' the economy and create the jobs the whole problem?

It's absurd that we're turning to the likes of Nancy Pelosi, Patrick Kennedy, and even Eric Cantor to 'fix' our market-based economy. These people aren't business people. They have no business experience. They're political hacks; they're drains on the economy. They are debits. In fact, we should be doing the opposite of what these people recommend.

What the fuck is Barack Obama gonna do to 'fix' the economy? This shit is whack.

Posted by: This is your life at January 22, 2010 03:23 PM (FAI37)

75 Really, "from substantial to severe" is like saying "from tan to almond."

Posted by: rdbrewer at January 22, 2010 03:24 PM (LywCv)

76 Damn, I wish that the military did not show this to Obama. It should have been buried in a black hole somewhere in the Pentagon. Now Obama can cancel this project faster than you can say BUSH!

Posted by: mystry at January 22, 2010 03:24 PM (kmgIE)

77
Why do I have the feeling, the next thing getting cancelled is me?

Ah, speaking of which, I have some bad news for you...you won't be getting a big buyout like Conan O'Brien.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at January 22, 2010 03:24 PM (1hM1d)

78 Uhmmm.... if that laser can burn through the casing on a mortar round, why don't they just aim it at the bad guy's head?

Posted by: Rickshaw Jack at January 22, 2010 03:25 PM (ID6vK)

79
We got Barney fucking Frank controlling the banking industry. What qualifications does this simple-minded feeb have to control the banks?

Marty fucking Meehan used to drive an ice cream truck. Now he's authoring so-called climate legislation.

I'm about to give up because if this is who is leading our great country today...

Posted by: This is your life at January 22, 2010 03:28 PM (FAI37)

80 Can anyone name a single, even close to being qualified, person who is a Obama Czar? Perhaps the first and only qualification is to know Obama, and/or be a Communist in good standing.

Posted by: mystry at January 22, 2010 03:32 PM (kmgIE)

81 OT: Marco Rubio's on Levin.

Posted by: logprof at January 22, 2010 03:35 PM (gJL6J)

82 O/T: Yannow, Rahm Emmanuel is so ugly, he needs a nickname.

Posted by: rdbrewer at January 22, 2010 03:36 PM (LywCv)

83 "Can anyone name a single, even close to being qualified, person who is a Obama Czar?"

Big Booty Czar - Michelle Obama

Posted by: Ren at January 22, 2010 03:37 PM (mKxi4)

84
Rubio shouldn't have any problem winning the primary.

Posted by: This is at January 22, 2010 03:39 PM (FAI37)

85
Rahm's nickname = Rim Fellatio?

Posted by: This is at January 22, 2010 03:40 PM (FAI37)

86 Okay, I think I should send some $$ Rubio's way.

Posted by: logprof at January 22, 2010 03:41 PM (gJL6J)

87
So Crist has McCain in his corner?

Posted by: This is at January 22, 2010 03:43 PM (FAI37)

88 Rahm Emanuel: "The Roach."

Posted by: rdbrewer at January 22, 2010 03:44 PM (LywCv)

89 I think Rahm "Twinkle Toes" Emanuel is quite dashing in his ballerina attire.

Posted by: Boyz Town at January 22, 2010 03:45 PM (mKxi4)

90
already Scott Brown is indebted to McCain. the first thing Scott does after he wins...

meets with McCain and joins his reelection campaign. What else will McCain ask Scott Brown to do? If Scott endorses the same candidates as McCain I'm gonna be pissed off.

Posted by: This is at January 22, 2010 03:46 PM (FAI37)

Imagaine a flaming SKULL with lasers eminating from it's eyes.

Imagine a ROCK BAND with a PIG floating HIGH ABOVE the STADIUM.

The SKULL turns it's eyes to the PIG and BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

Next thing you hear is.

"how can you have any PUDDING if you don't eat yourrrrrrrrr meat?"

Ten thousand voices crying out in joyous celebration....IT'S RAINING BACON!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!

FIFY

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 22, 2010 03:47 PM (I/MqP)

92 meets with McCain and joins his reelection campaign. What else will McCain ask Scott Brown to do? If Scott endorses the same candidates as McCain I'm gonna be pissed off.

He is still 100% better than the DNC rubber stamp that could be in that seat.

Posted by: kefka at January 22, 2010 03:48 PM (n1uMU)

93
speaking of John McCain...

Did you that Cindy McCain came out for gay marriage this week?

Now, there is no doubt in my mind that John McCain has nothing but contempt for conservatives. Not just social conservatives, either; McCain hates small-govt fiscal conservatives, too.

Posted by: This is at January 22, 2010 03:49 PM (FAI37)

Imagaine a flaming SKULL with lasers eminating from it's eyes.

I think Slu did one of those, before.

Posted by: This is at January 22, 2010 03:50 PM (FAI37)

95 What did McCain do for Brown?

Posted by: Wm T Sherman at January 22, 2010 03:51 PM (w41GQ)

96
He is still 100% better than the DNC rubber stamp that could be in that seat.

Yup. But Scott could be a huge help for Rubio. I'd be disappointed if he stumps for Crist, who will lose in November if he wins the primary.

Posted by: This is at January 22, 2010 03:51 PM (FAI37)

97
McCain cut an ad for Scott. And who knows what else he did behind the scenes as far as hooking him up with campaign staff and stuff.

Posted by: This is at January 22, 2010 03:53 PM (FAI37)

98 Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 22, 2010 07:47 PM (I/MqP)

Yes! Skull rules!!!

Posted by: Beavis and Butt-Head at January 22, 2010 03:53 PM (gJL6J)

99 Ummm...the fact that you can see that "beam" is a bad thing. That's probably not the beam per se rather a column of ionized gasses where its passing through that are dissipating and diffusing it.

I'm just saying...

Posted by: Purple Avenger at January 22, 2010 03:54 PM (bUiqZ)

100
I always wondered what happened when x-wing fighters and tie-fighters missed their targets. Is some dude on some planet far away gonna get zapped while he's just sitting there on his toilet minding his own business?

Posted by: This is at January 22, 2010 03:58 PM (FAI37)

101 I think the 2000 primary loss to GWB basically had the same effect on McCain as being defeated and marooned on Ceti Alpha Five had on Khan.

He blames conservatives and he lives only for revenge.

Posted by: kefka at January 22, 2010 03:58 PM (n1uMU)

102 Looks like burning ants with a magnifying glass

Posted by: don at January 22, 2010 03:59 PM (kGmrQ)

103 It's prolly a practice beam. A green or red laser maybe. I bet they're just testing the tracking technology. An x-ray laser would be invisible.

Posted by: rdbrewer at January 22, 2010 04:00 PM (LywCv)

104 I always wondered why in the hell the advanced weapons technology in Sci-Fi shows like Star Wars always had such a shitty aim and missed the targets nearly all of the time. I figured it was because they also have shitty politicians in the future that cut funding for those weapons programs. A better answer is that otherwise those shows would all be 5 minutes long with everyone obliterated.

Posted by: Roy at January 22, 2010 04:00 PM (cydKB)

105 Rahm Emanuel: "The Turd."

Posted by: rdbrewer at January 22, 2010 04:01 PM (LywCv)

106
the program which has since shut down, the aircraft has been de-modified, and is headed for the boneyard

Or it proved successful and is in testing off the books.

Posted by: Dang Straights at January 22, 2010 04:01 PM (yC1Pu)

107
What about all those people Obama put out of a job when he closed all those car dealerships?

Why isn't Obama getting hammered for that? Obama has one fuck up after another, yet they have short shelf-life and then go down the memory hole.

Posted by: This is at January 22, 2010 04:01 PM (FAI37)

108 Rahm Emanuel: "The Boy."

Posted by: rdbrewer at January 22, 2010 04:02 PM (LywCv)

109 Big TV Special on now! Two hours of Family Guy on TBS.

Posted by: Willy Tbone at January 22, 2010 04:03 PM (7Csz7)

110
5 minutes long with everyone obliterated.

My kind of firefight- completely unfair and over almost before it starts.

Posted by: Dang Straights at January 22, 2010 04:03 PM (yC1Pu)

111
would a laser beam travel forever in space?

Posted by: This is at January 22, 2010 04:03 PM (FAI37)

112 I'm waiting for this to get out of the testing phase, so to speak. A working phaser : ) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7S71mPJ0F0Q&feature=player_embedded

Posted by: theMachiavellian at January 22, 2010 04:04 PM (5f37Q)

113
Let's say I blow up a Death Star.

Wouldn't the debris keep traveling through space indefinitely? I always wondered about that when, say, the Enterprise would come across a 'debris field' in an episode.

Posted by: This is at January 22, 2010 04:05 PM (FAI37)

114
OT: Dogfish Head 60 min is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Posted by: Dang Straights at January 22, 2010 04:06 PM (yC1Pu)

115
Wouldn't the debris keep traveling through space indefinitely?

Until it got captured in something larger's gravity well and either went into orbit or crashed into said something larger.

Posted by: Dang Straights at January 22, 2010 04:07 PM (yC1Pu)

116 No need for this laser technology in the military any longer, Zero will save us from our enemies through his sheer awesomeness and smart power. A better use of this technology would be to mount this puppy on the front of my car for use in the rush hour drives and against aggressive driving assholes. A pair mounted in the back of the car for use against tailgaters would be usefull as well..... those are the real enemies.

Posted by: Last Conservative In Brooklyn at January 22, 2010 04:08 PM (7uAeI)

117 #112 No. All space has matter in it. eventually, after hitting same matter particals same great number of times, it would slow down and dissipate.

Posted by: mystry at January 22, 2010 04:08 PM (kmgIE)

118
oh

Posted by: This is at January 22, 2010 04:09 PM (FAI37)

119 Also, the only thing that has a vacuum in it, is the inside of Obama's head.

Posted by: mystry at January 22, 2010 04:10 PM (kmgIE)

120
If I had a Deathstar, I would get one of the Stormjanitors to put a piece of plywood over that exhaust port.

Posted by: Dang Straights at January 22, 2010 04:10 PM (yC1Pu)

121

112
would a laser beam travel forever in space?

only if there was a fruit cake attached to it.

**rimshot**

I'll be at laugh your balls off in poughkepsie all week.

Posted by: dananjcon at January 22, 2010 04:11 PM (21qEw)

122 Big fan of Dogfish Head

+1

Posted by: Andy at January 22, 2010 04:11 PM (f1o8E)

123 would a laser beam travel forever in space?

Pretty much, but it will eventually start to widen and become less powerful as it does. Ex. I think an ordinary comms laser from earth typically becomes about 3' wide by the time it gets to the moon.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at January 22, 2010 04:13 PM (bUiqZ)

124 Stevo, that looks like a good movie.

Posted by: rdbrewer at January 22, 2010 04:30 PM (LywCv)

125 So disapointed.. Not even one 'Real Genious' pop corn in the house reference? Come on!

Posted by: Schwalbe at January 22, 2010 04:32 PM (jkdaV)

126 Rahm Emanuel: "The Rat."

Posted by: rdbrewer at January 22, 2010 04:34 PM (LywCv)

127 Rahm Emanuel: Tiny Dancer (didn't Elton John write that song for him?)

Posted by: Josef K. at January 22, 2010 04:37 PM (7+pP9)

128 Rahm Emanuel: "The Jackal."

Posted by: rdbrewer at January 22, 2010 05:21 PM (LywCv)

129 Not to get too serious, but it does seem that laser weapons are tantalizingly close. I think the first real world use will be an Iron Dome style C-RAM mission. The power levels don't have to be that high, so solid state lasers can be used (as opposed to the big chemical lasers). Land uses will likely come first too, since mist tends to weaken the laser, so the Navy is researching FELs (Free Electron Lasers) which can be tuned, but their power levels are still quite weak.

For solid state lasers the cost per shot is just the electricity used. Which could easily be just a few dollars or less. The weapons itself will be millions, but the marginal costs will be very low.

I'm skeptical that it's gonna be a decent anti-personnel weapon any time soon. These things aren't insta-zap death rays. The best analogy I've read is that it's like a long distance heat ray that can put the heat of a blow-torch on a quarter sized spot.

For missiles and artillery shells, or tires and engine blocks, you can focus the beam for the time needed to destroy it, which can be several seconds, it depends how much protection it needs to burn through. But people tend to squirm if they touch a hot stove, let alone if you hit them with a blowtorch, so it'll be hard to keep the beam on target of a squirming person.

Right now, it will basically cook a quarter-sized spot on your body, which would only be lethal if it hit a very vulnerable spot -- your neck, or eyes, maybe temple. Something that would do the damage before you squirmed away. So you only have a fraction of a second to the damage.

Of course, even very low power lasers can already blind people, which is why they're banned. I actually think anti-personnel laser weapons will be banned.

Anyway, I'm no laser expert, it's just something I've read up on as I try to understand how these weapons will really be used in the future. The standard image is of a person being vaporized, when it's more like small spot being blowtorched.

Posted by: bobbo at January 22, 2010 05:34 PM (+ABdJ)

130 The key to this project is the giant laser, which was invented by the noted Cambridge physicist, Dr. Parsons. So therefore, it is fitting to call it: "The Alan Parsons Project".

Posted by: Dr. Evil at January 22, 2010 06:28 PM (SYlnh)

131 Rahm Emanuel: "The Rat Asshole."

There. How 'bout that?

Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at January 22, 2010 06:46 PM (8PFPH)

132 Obama Canceled This?

IMPEACH OBAMA NOW! ENEMY OF THE FUTURE!

I was having a serious harm-on before I read that bullshit. I swear that motherfucker destroys everything good he comes near.

And if you don't think a plane with lasers that can shoot down missiles is good, then you just plain suck.

You can have my laser when you crawl over the mountain of your scorched comrades to pry it from my cold, dead hands!

Posted by: Merovign, Strong on His Mountain at January 22, 2010 06:48 PM (bxiXv)

133

My next door neighbor does communications for this project. Good stuff.

Grim

Posted by: Grim at January 22, 2010 07:01 PM (lqNLG)

134

Imagine this tech in it's second or third gen. iteration...

Maybe a large underslung pod on the semi-near future equivalent of the JSF (the totally deadly/awesome/expensive J-55 Evicerator will have been cancelled by President Jimmy Jefferson Carbamaton).

If you can see it, you can punch a quarter sized hole clean through it. Missiles, opposing fighter planes, vehicles, doods, ants...

Posted by: Jasonius at January 22, 2010 11:21 PM (JrJmg)

135

Did I mention that ants of the future would be the size of badgers for some unspecified reason?

And badgers would be like really big badgers or something.

Posted by: Jasonius at January 22, 2010 11:24 PM (JrJmg)

136 Eevil Raaytheon heet Raay!!

Double E double A Yeow.

Posted by: LC LaWedgie at January 23, 2010 09:31 AM (kb0wl)

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