Ace of Spades HQ

July 01, 2010

"Republican" Apologizes For Claiming He Has a Sex-Tape With Elena Kagan
— Ace

I don't know how the media continues to fall for this. Martin Eisenstadt is a confirmed/admitted hoaxster/prankster who likes seeing his name in the paper.

He likes "leaking" information about people in the headlines -- and he put a derogatory story into the MFM in 2008, claiming Sarah Palin didn't know that Africa was a continent, not a country.

Here's Howard Kurtz on him.

He also pranked the media (and me) into buying his claim that Joe the Plumber had hooked up with SNL cutie Kirsten Wiig.

(But that was the first and last time I got punked by him.)

And now he denies a "report" that he had sex with Elena Kagan, wishing to get out in front of the story.

It's obviously a spoof. And further, he's parodying Will Folks a little.

So, his asinine prank gets on a dumb news feed in New Zealand, and the media pick it up and run it.

So now these lazy, stupid, unprofessional nitwits in the media are running his "apology" over the allegation, as well as his claimed (nonexistent) link with The Heritage Foundation.

Media?

Hello?

For the last time: The guy is a fake.

Stop trying to tie him to conservative think-tanks.

It's a goof, do you not get it?

Now, the feed being picked up there is just automated -- they seem to run automatically whatever pops up on the NZ "Scoop" feed -- but shouldn't they, um, not be posting things without checking at all from a feed that seems to be easily pranked?

More: Guys, see, it's a goof.

PS: He doesn't even change his name, so it's not hard to pick up on.

Posted by: Ace at 12:41 PM | Comments (72)
Post contains 300 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Of course he's a fake. He's a man claiming to have sex with Kagan

Posted by: TheQuietMan at July 01, 2010 12:43 PM (1Jaio)

2 At some point, you'd think the MSM would start to get embarrassed.

Posted by: Farmer Joe at July 01, 2010 12:45 PM (z4es9)

3 It's a goof, do you not get it?

Oh, we get it, but it fits well with our narrative, mkay?

Posted by: MFM at July 01, 2010 12:45 PM (pUfK9)

Fuck you bitches. I'd hit it.

But she's gotta top.

Posted by: Markos Moulitsas at July 01, 2010 12:45 PM (HPhdA)

5 We ran a hella-train on her, but the video camera lens got smeared with McFisty personal lube.

Posted by: The Detroit Shock Wymenz Basketball Team at July 01, 2010 12:46 PM (HpT9p)

6 right, I don't think Kagan would be interested. But to the extent this gets believed at all, it's not on that side it gets believed -- it gets believed that rotten Republicans at the Heritage Foundation are peddling sleazy (unbelievable) stories about a nice liberal yenta.

Posted by: ace at July 01, 2010 12:47 PM (SsvUp)

7 Hold your horses, I had sex with horse face too.

Posted by: Sonia Sotomayor at July 01, 2010 12:50 PM (T0bhq)

8 I somehow doubt that Kagan has known a man.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at July 01, 2010 12:52 PM (i3AsK)

9 Martin Eisenstadt is listed as a renown professional on the new Healthcare Gov website. Twitter feed too.

Posted by: Matty Ygleisas at July 01, 2010 12:52 PM (R4rMI)

10 Hey MFM, if you are gonna use this stuff, give us some love.

Posted by: The Onion at July 01, 2010 12:54 PM (T0bhq)

11 I somehow doubt that Kagan has known a man.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at July 01, 2010 04:52 PM (i3AsK)

Let's just say, since she's Jewish, she's still eligible to be the mother of the Messiah.

*rimshot*

Posted by: Editor at July 01, 2010 12:55 PM (pUfK9)

12 So it's not true?

Posted by: Rocks at July 01, 2010 12:55 PM (Q1lie)

13
Fake But Accurate is the new hawtness, Ace.

Posted by: Dang Straights at July 01, 2010 12:55 PM (fx8sm)

14 At some point, you'd think the MSM would start to get embarrassed.

In order to be embarrassed you must first have a conscious. Like polls, the MFM is devoid of that attribute.

Posted by: Vic at July 01, 2010 12:55 PM (6taRI)

>>> a Sex-Tape With Elena Kagan

Whoa - I just threw up on the top of Janeane Garofalo's head a little bit.

Posted by: Sharp Knives and Loud Guns at July 01, 2010 12:56 PM (l6isY)

16 It's obviously a spoof.

So no Chakra Release is that what your saying?

Posted by: Al Gore at July 01, 2010 12:58 PM (Q1lie)

17 Fake but accurate. Truthiness trumps truth when truthiness advances the narrative.

Posted by: Truman North at July 01, 2010 12:59 PM (e8YaH)

18 Hey! I heard of this guy.

Posted by: Charlie Gibson at July 01, 2010 01:02 PM (Q1lie)

Who would one even make this 'joke'?

Reaches for trashcan..... *hurls*

Posted by: laceyunderalls at July 01, 2010 01:02 PM (pLTLS)

20 I also will deny making a sex tape with Kagan . . only after she blows me first.

Posted by: Mel Gibson at July 01, 2010 01:04 PM (pfStM)

21 If a guy makes the claim he bopped Kagan and can pass an eye test, you know he's lyin'.

Posted by: Wannabe Crazed Sex Poodle at July 01, 2010 01:04 PM (Ulu3i)

>>> Truthiness trumps truth when truthiness advances the narrative.

But she's not conservative so..........

Posted by: Sharp Knives and Loud Guns at July 01, 2010 01:05 PM (l6isY)

23 Los Angeles to generate more trash than the county can handle.

So what the fuck else is new?

Posted by: The War Between the Undead States at July 01, 2010 01:06 PM (PC0X9)

24
OT: medical types in SE Texas: Methodist Hospital recruiting 300 RNs in their n/w Houston branch.

Posted by: Dang Straights at July 01, 2010 01:06 PM (fx8sm)

25 24 Los Angeles to generate more trash than the county can handle.

So what the fuck else is new? In related news Bill Clinton bangs cocktail waitress's two at a time, water is wet and Mel Gibson's been drinking.....again. No? Really?

Posted by: Sharp Knives and Loud Guns at July 01, 2010 01:09 PM (l6isY)

26
but you will blow me first, you synthetic thing you.

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at July 01, 2010 01:10 PM (0fzsA)

27 Equally stupid as the MFM:

Unemployment benefits are creating jobs faster than practically any other program, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said Thursday.

Posted by: The Onion at July 01, 2010 01:10 PM (T0bhq)

28 Los Angeles to generate more trash than the county can handle.

So what the fuck else is new?

Hollywood alone generates more fucking trash than the entire country can handle.

Zero-out copyright enforcement.

Posted by: MikeO at July 01, 2010 01:10 PM (lBmZl)

Soon the term journalist is going to have the same stigma attached to it as pedophile.

Posted by: Bosk at July 01, 2010 01:10 PM (pUO5u)

30 I somehow doubt that Kagan has known a man.

Sometimes a gay dude will try, you know?

And sometimes a gay dude knows he might not be able go through with it if he can't pretend he's fucking Bob Costas.

And there's someone for everybody.

Posted by: oblig. at July 01, 2010 01:10 PM (x7Ao8)

It's either a spoof or an MSM news story.

Not that there is any meaningful difference between the two categories.

Posted by: Forest Moon of Endor at July 01, 2010 01:11 PM (POs9i)

Soon the term journalist is going to have the same stigma attached to it as pedophile.

Posted by: Bosk at July 01, 2010 05:10 PM (pUO5u)

But neither will be considered as bad as "congressman" or "Madam Speaker".

Posted by: Editor at July 01, 2010 01:11 PM (pUfK9)

33 Elena looked a lot better in her senior picture. http://tiny.cc/0ms5p

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 01, 2010 01:12 PM (Um3jj)

Ace,

The media gets it... they are hoping others don't.

Posted by: AndrewsDad at July 01, 2010 01:12 PM (C2//T)

35 I bet Kevin James could do a great Kagan impersonation.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at July 01, 2010 01:14 PM (xO+6C)

36 At least it wasn't a sex tape with Helen Thomas.

Posted by: crosspatch at July 01, 2010 01:15 PM (ZbLJZ)

37 I bet Kevin James could do a great Kagan impersonation.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at July 01, 2010 05:14 PM (xO+6C)

Are you sure you don't mean his co-star, Patton Oswalt?

Posted by: Editor at July 01, 2010 01:15 PM (pUfK9)

38
...or that very unfunny guy on SNL Horatio Sanz

Posted by: Mel Gibson at July 01, 2010 01:16 PM (uFokq)

39 She is a lovely woman, and I would gladly, as a heterosexual male, make sex with her vagina. I have done so with numerous female women, and they all tell me I performed with machismo and other heterosexual traits that a straight, totally non-gay man would achieve.

Posted by: Lindsey Graham,Willing to try anything, once. at July 01, 2010 01:16 PM (yICYQ)

40 I am thinking Kagan will come out soon after the GOP rolls over and allows her to walk into a seat on the Supreme court. Then the MFM will celebrate how heroic she is coming out as our first dyke Justice and tell us what an inspiration she is.

Posted by: Drew in MO at July 01, 2010 01:17 PM (bqKDG)

41 That video will be on TMZ.com by the end of the week.

Posted by: Sponge at July 01, 2010 01:17 PM (UK9cE)

42 Are you sure you don't mean his co-star, Patton Oswalt?

No I think he had it right the first time.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at July 01, 2010 01:17 PM (pLTLS)

43 I still can't tell Kagan from Kevin James.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at July 01, 2010 01:18 PM (zgZzy)

"He's a man claiming to have sex with Kagan."

And this is why he needs to apologize. Brainbleach trading is up 700%.

Posted by: reason at July 01, 2010 01:18 PM (wEYaf)

45 Nope, I'm still convince Patton Oswalt. That picture of her looks even more like Patton than I thought.

Posted by: Editor at July 01, 2010 01:18 PM (pUfK9)

46 Elena Kagan looks like a cross between Don Rickles and a bullfrog that needs more sun.

Posted by: sifty at July 01, 2010 01:19 PM (JR2D9)

47 James would have to get a little more manish to do it properly.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at July 01, 2010 01:19 PM (xO+6C)

48
I'm telling you, next year she'll be Alan Kagan, the first Justice to have a sex-change.

Posted by: i like chunks at July 01, 2010 01:19 PM (uFokq)

49 Elena Kagan in...

The Mighty Hermaphroditey

Posted by: Sponge at July 01, 2010 01:19 PM (UK9cE)

50 46 Nope, I'z right. Don't fight me on this one, honey bunny!!!

Posted by: laceyunderalls at July 01, 2010 01:20 PM (pLTLS)

51 This is a Will Folks parody, right? His video is actually rather hilarious.

Posted by: John S at July 01, 2010 01:20 PM (+q/hN)

"Unemployment benefits are creating jobs faster than practically any other program, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said Thursday."

Hey...this is the same woman that told us last year that without Spendulous, we'd start to lose 500 million jobs a month, right?

I keep callin' her, but she never picks up the phone.

Posted by: reality at July 01, 2010 01:22 PM (wEYaf)

53 But he's our fake, Ace.

Posted by: the MFM at July 01, 2010 01:24 PM (7b1Uc)

54 Nope, I'z right. Don't fight me on this one, honey bunny!!!

Posted by: laceyunderalls at July 01, 2010 05:20 PM (pLTLS)

Any one of you pricks move, and I'll execute every motherfucking last one of you!!!!

Posted by: Editor at July 01, 2010 01:24 PM (pUfK9)

55 I'll pray for Chris Hitchens, just to be a jerk like that.

Posted by: reason at July 01, 2010 01:25 PM (wEYaf)

There goes any desire for an afternoon snack. Knowing that it's an obvious goof doesn't seem to help.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at July 01, 2010 01:26 PM (plsiE)

Elena Kagan tells her amazing story of enduring the Supreme Court hearings in...

Gay After Tomorrow

Posted by: Dama Movie Voiceover Guy at July 01, 2010 01:27 PM (wEYaf)

58 Justice Lou Costello.

Posted by: Pecos Bill at July 01, 2010 01:28 PM (8WOM0)

59 Any one of you pricks move, and I'll execute every motherfucking last one of you!!!!

Any you homo's touch my stuff, I kill ya.......

Posted by: Pvt. Francis "Psycho" Soyer at July 01, 2010 01:30 PM (UK9cE)

Al Franken tells his amazing story of enduring the Supreme Court hearings in...

Dazed and Snoozed

Posted by: Zany Comedy Movie Voiceover Guy at July 01, 2010 01:30 PM (wEYaf)

61
Justice Lou Costello.

Posted by: Pecos Bill at July 01, 2010 05:28 PM (8WOM0)

Justice Fred Flintstone.

With tits.

Wearing Wilma's pearl necklace.

Posted by: Ed Anger at July 01, 2010 01:31 PM (7+pP9)

His name was Justice Robert Paulson

Posted by: Fight Club spacemonkeys, in unison, at July 01, 2010 01:34 PM (wEYaf)

Arlen Spacter tells his amazing story of enduring the Supreme Court hearings in...

Over-bored.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at July 01, 2010 01:35 PM (zgZzy)

Posted by: Ed Anger at July 01, 2010 05:31 PM (7+pP9)

Agreed. Trivia question, how much whiskey would it take to make her look good?

Posted by: theCork at July 01, 2010 01:53 PM (zL5Q1)

The media is starting into a full-court press to try to convince the lib-feebs that if the Republicans don't let Barky do whateverthefuck he wants to, or if the Republicans take over Congress, we will get a second recession.

Rush, Fox, Palin and any other Rs with balls need to start a public throw-down with the MSM, and make the case that it has sold out American values for Democrat Party values.

Moonbats at work are already talking the trash that we are headed for another crash because of the Republicans have the audacity to oppose Obama's agenda. It is starting. We have to finish it.

Posted by: sherlock at July 01, 2010 01:57 PM (xqzGc)

66 Ace said: He likes "leaking" information about people in the headlines -- and he put a derogatory story into the MFM in 2008, claiming Sarah Palin didn't know that Africa was a continent, not a country.

Actually it was an unnamed McCain staffer who put that Africa anecdote (which I don't believe) into the MFM . Eisenstadt's hoax was that he claimed to be the source of the Africa anecdote.

Posted by: Jon at July 01, 2010 02:23 PM (Xt7UU)

67 I'd hit it....

Posted by: Governor Patterson at July 01, 2010 03:05 PM (Ulu3i)

68 @11: "Let's just say, since she's Jewish, she's still eligible to be the mother of the Messiah." No. Being a lying liberal proves that she was born with stain of Original Sin.

Posted by: Jeffrey Quick at July 02, 2010 04:16 AM (g9neE)

69
When I saw the headline, I was hoping that it was Will Folks admitting to this affair, to get in front of it, and due to his sacred honor.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at July 02, 2010 05:18 AM (1hM1d)

70 The job of the media is to lie to the public and propagandize for the left. They aren't in the business of telling the truth except when it does not interfere with the above. So of course they were "fooled" by this guy, just as they will be "fooled" the next time he comes up with something that can be used to damage us. If someone keeps trying to drag you down, do you in, or otherwise hurt you; it shouldn't take too long to realize that this individual is your existential enemy.

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