March 29, 2010
— Ace Whoops: The source appears to be a parody site, not a news site.
God looks out for drunks and fools, but not, apparently, retards.
Famed global warming activist James Schneider and a journalist friend were both found frozen to death on Saturday, about 90 miles from South Pole Station, by the pilot of a ski plane practicing emergency evacuation procedures."I couldn't believe what I was seeing", recounted the pilot, Jimmy Dolittle. "There were two snowmobiles with cargo sleds, a tent, and a bright orange rope that had been laid out on the ice, forming the words, 'HELP-COLD'".
One friend of Prof. Schneider told ecoEnquirer that he had been planning a trip to an ice sheet to film the devastation brought on by global warming.
Guess he got what he came for, in a way.
Whoops: The source appears to be a parody site, not a news site.
Posted by: Ace at
12:04 PM
| Comments (163)
Post contains 168 words, total size 1 kb.
ace, it was pretty much established on the other thread that the site where this story originated is pretty much an eco-version of The Onion. Still funny as hell though.
Posted by: Blazer at March 29, 2010 12:06 PM (t72+4)
For instance, no other news stories about it; and, the pilot that found them is named Jimmy Dolittle.
Posted by: Abe Lincoln at March 29, 2010 12:07 PM (tr6Dy)
Posted by: fuck every last alarmist at March 29, 2010 12:08 PM (ucq49)
All content on this site, being a mixture of parody, satire, and lame humor, is for entertainment purposes only. If any content is found to be offensive or objectionable in any way, please accept our apologies... but we also suggest that you get a life.
From the linked site.
Posted by: Gaia at March 29, 2010 12:08 PM (IhQuA)
Posted by: iowahawk at March 29, 2010 12:08 PM (veL4N)
Posted by: NortonPete at March 29, 2010 12:08 PM (fVuwW)
'HELP-COLD'". ??
The "cold" part is kinda obvious, being in Antarctica, y'know.
Wouldn't "SOS" have been easier?
Posted by: Dr. Varno at March 29, 2010 12:09 PM (0QJjg)
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
Posted by: This is Candygram...Plumber...Landshark at March 29, 2010 12:09 PM (3njmu)
Posted by: mpur at March 29, 2010 12:09 PM (tr6Dy)
Damn........and I was so looking forward to thawing out these fucktards with my flamethrower and then locking them up in the shack with Blaire for the night.
Damn.
Posted by: R.J. MacReady at March 29, 2010 12:10 PM (t72+4)
Posted by: This is fun with history! at March 29, 2010 12:11 PM (3njmu)
Posted by: lorien1973 at March 29, 2010 12:11 PM (IhQuA)
"General James Harold "Jimmy" Doolittle, USAF (December 14, 1896 – September 27, 1993) was an American aviation pioneer. Doolittle served as a brigadier general, major general and lieutenant general in the United States Army Air Forces during the Second World War. He earned the Medal of Honorfor his valor and leadership as commander of the Doolittle Raid while a lieutenant colonel."
Can't click on stuff but I'm assuming this is some kind of a joke, not serious, unless this is a grand kid or something.
Posted by: curious at March 29, 2010 12:11 PM (p302b)
Posted by: The MSM at March 29, 2010 12:11 PM (bijvq)
Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at March 29, 2010 12:11 PM (jvIdz)
kinda would be funny if two global warmists did get frozen and then thawed out a hundred years from to learn about the global warming hoax and the end of the Democrat party because of Obama.
Posted by: This is fun with history! at March 29, 2010 12:12 PM (3njmu)
Yeah it must be parody ... but still good.
Posted by: bill at March 29, 2010 12:13 PM (x49/7)
Just look at the site folks, if not the disclaimer then the articles on the left. Bears getting heat exhaustion, etc. lol
Posted by: Niles Standish at March 29, 2010 12:13 PM (fGMGp)
Wait.
Wasn't Jimmy Doolittle the pilot of the Enola Gay that bombed the Lusitania in 1917?
while piloting the Hindenberg with Emilia Earnhart.
Posted by: Ben at March 29, 2010 12:13 PM (wuv1c)
Posted by: jwpaine at March 29, 2010 12:13 PM (g4J4S)
Hot Air didn't vet this one. Lesson learned.
Posted by: Cicero at March 29, 2010 12:13 PM (QKKT0)
Apparently they were found by the pilot, Jimmy Dolittle. You'd think he'd have run out of gas trying to get there after launching off a carrier, bombing Tokyo and overflying China, but I guess his new ecofriendly unicorn pee powered B25B Mitchell managed to make it all the way to the South Pole just in time to overfly what was left of the nimrod patrol that thought July would be a good time to visit the South Pole.
Ya folks, I'm guessing this one is most likely a hoax. Funny, but doubtful.
Posted by: StuckOnStupid at March 29, 2010 12:14 PM (e8T35)
"Both found frozen to death... by the pilot of a ski plane practicing emergency evacuation procedures."
I would have been there sooner but fucking alarm clock didn't go off. So sue me.
Posted by: Antarctic Ski Plane Pilot at March 29, 2010 12:14 PM (UA4gE)
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at March 29, 2010 12:14 PM (I/MqP)
Posted by: curious at March 29, 2010 12:15 PM (p302b)
Posted by: Michael Steele at March 29, 2010 12:15 PM (QKKT0)
20 I admit that I'm a little disappointed it wasn't for real.
So is God. He loves him some frozen assed environmental retards.
Posted by: maddogg at March 29, 2010 12:15 PM (OlN4e)
Posted by: President Toonces at March 29, 2010 12:16 PM (H6Jyg)
Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at March 29, 2010 12:16 PM (jvIdz)
Posted by: Wizard of id at March 29, 2010 12:18 PM (eoYse)
Wasn't Jimmy Doolittle the pilot of the Enola Gay that bombed the Lusitania in 1917?
No, no no, he defeated the Japs at the battle of the Little Bighorn.
Posted by: gebrauchshund at March 29, 2010 12:18 PM (d7k0J)
Is this an Open Thread now? Good - compare/contrast: Wee Wee the Dipshit with Bibi the Badass.
That is all.
Posted by: Dang Straights at March 29, 2010 12:18 PM (fx8sm)
Posted by: WalrusRex at March 29, 2010 12:18 PM (xxgag)
Posted by: C3P0 at March 29, 2010 12:18 PM (QKKT0)
I'm just glad we didnt have to spend the rest of this winter TIED TO THIS FUCKING COUCH waiting for ace to issue a retraction!
Posted by: Garry at March 29, 2010 12:19 PM (t72+4)
Wasn't Jimmy Doolittle the pilot of the Enola Gay that bombed the Lusitania in 1917?
No, no no, he defeated the Japs at the battle of the Little Bighorn.
Posted by: gebrauchshund at March 29, 2010 04:18 PM (d7k0J)
Yeah, but then he got into trouble for cracking corn without his friends caring.
Posted by: WalrusRex at March 29, 2010 12:20 PM (xxgag)
Can't click on links. Asked friends to read this link and tell me what it says. They report it just loads and loads and they can't get to it. Fascinating.
Posted by: curious at March 29, 2010 12:20 PM (p302b)
Posted by: jwpaine at March 29, 2010 12:21 PM (g4J4S)
Posted by: Wizard of id at March 29, 2010 12:22 PM (eoYse)
Heh heh.
Posted by: Pavel at March 29, 2010 12:22 PM (UFpcQ)
Posted by: Henry The Enforcer Waxman at March 29, 2010 12:23 PM (H6Jyg)
Posted by: dagny at March 29, 2010 12:23 PM (WTre7)
Yeah, but then he got into trouble for cracking corn without his friends caring.
And Jimmy Doolittle could talk to the animals.
Talk to the animals.
Posted by: This is fun with history! at March 29, 2010 12:23 PM (3njmu)
Posted by: Kemp at March 29, 2010 12:23 PM (2+9Yx)
Posted by: CDR M at March 29, 2010 12:23 PM (cvmTR)
Posted by: Hussein the Plumber at March 29, 2010 12:24 PM (RkRxq)
Posted by: Ernest Shackleton at March 29, 2010 12:25 PM (QKKT0)
Why retract it? Would the MSM?
Fuck all the Twinks of Dingleberry rules the Right must follow. Adopt the Left's rules of engagement.
Posted by: anti-MSM at March 29, 2010 12:25 PM (ucq49)
Posted by: CDR M at March 29, 2010 12:25 PM (cvmTR)
Posted by: Sam at March 29, 2010 12:26 PM (Cxsey)
Posted by: Dan Rather at March 29, 2010 12:26 PM (w2++y)
Global Icing
"They're okay now, but last month a bunch of "penguin tourists" got themselves trapped in the Antarctic sea ice. Yes, penguin tourists. According to The UK Guardian, dozens of Brit nature lovers, scientists, and media boarded the Russian expedition ship Kapitan Khlebnikov, to "visit" a colony of emporer penguins at the bottom of the earth. Clearly, these geniuses - including the BBC nature documentary film crew who produced Blue Planet - didn't expect to run into impenetrable frozen sea. With all the hype about "shrinking polar ice caps," they may not have heard that the Antarctic ice is dramatically increasing. Well, now they know. They encountered (gasp!) bad weather, which compacted the sea-ice, wedging in the ship. Reported tour leader Paul Goldstein, via The UK Daily Mail, "We're currently mobile, we're breaking through some ice, and due to some frankly unprecedented winds and visibility problems and snow, we're a little delayed."
Yeah, unprecedented wind and snow. In the Antarctic."
--------
Posted by: Tami at March 29, 2010 12:27 PM (VuLos)
I do not care to have people invalidate my feelings on this!
Posted by: sharrukin at March 29, 2010 12:28 PM (593B8)
Just because it was made up doesn't mean it didn't happen.
Posted by: Dan Rather at March 29, 2010 04:26 PM (w2++y)
Right on !
I bid you adieu.
Posted by: Charles Johnson, Race Detective at March 29, 2010 12:28 PM (t72+4)
Posted by: HeatherRadish at March 29, 2010 12:29 PM (mR7mk)
Posted by: dagny at March 29, 2010 04:27 PM
I'm Nocturnal-American. A small minority, but well deserving of federal protection.
Posted by: Cicero at March 29, 2010 12:30 PM (QKKT0)
Update: Damn, I should have known that was too good to be true.
Don't worry. I'm sure there's still some KOS kids in mommy's basement with their mouths agape.
Posted by: Iamnotanalcoholic at March 29, 2010 12:30 PM (rn2QH)
I have a theory:
G-d created climate scientists to keep real scientists humble. In essence it was a message that; Look, you should thank me. I could have made you a climate scientist.
Posted by: Hussein the Plumber at March 29, 2010 12:30 PM (RkRxq)
He's pretty active for a man of 114.
Posted by: HeatherRadish at March 29, 2010 04:29 PM (mR7mk)
Why, he's practically a baby.
Posted by: Helen Thomas at March 29, 2010 12:30 PM (t72+4)
Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at March 29, 2010 12:31 PM (jvIdz)
Posted by: Comrade Arthur at March 29, 2010 12:31 PM (clsVS)
If the person telling the totally fabricated story actually believes in their head it really happened then, it really happened.
Simple.
Posted by: NortonPete at March 29, 2010 12:33 PM (fVuwW)
Posted by: jehu at March 29, 2010 12:34 PM (vo51q)
Posted by: blaster at March 29, 2010 12:34 PM (Ghgea)
Posted by: curious morons want to know at March 29, 2010 12:35 PM (ucq49)
sheesh, isn't this a religious institution. So don't go there if you don't like the reference to God, it's really simple.
I had gone there for this: "Chihuahua state police say soldiers have arrested a suspect in the killings of three people linked to the U.S. consulate in Ciudad Juarez."
Posted by: curious at March 29, 2010 12:35 PM (p302b)
Posted by: brando at March 29, 2010 12:35 PM (IPGju)
Posted by: curious at March 29, 2010 12:37 PM (p302b)
Posted by: mrkwong at March 29, 2010 12:38 PM (G8Eo0)
Is this an Open Thread now? Good - compare/contrast: Wee Wee the Dipshit with Bibi the Badass.
That is all.
Posted by: Dang Straights at March 29, 2010 04:18 PM (fx8sm)
Thats some good shit!
Posted by: dananjcon at March 29, 2010 12:39 PM (pr+up)
First of all, this seems as good a time as any to honor the memory of Gen. Dolittle - a great American, if ever there was one.
Second, the antics of the AGW crowd are so ridiculous, one wonders why anybody bothers spoofing at all. Even now, there's a rather silly expedition doing it's annual propaganda campaign, hiking toward the North Pole and calling it science. Apparently, the jokes are barely distinguishable from the real stories.
Posted by: Optimizer at March 29, 2010 12:39 PM (odEHq)
Posted by: Fish at March 29, 2010 12:39 PM (M5t+h)
Posted by: curious at March 29, 2010 12:40 PM (p302b)
Speaking of Christians. AOL News has a headline about a Christian cult being arrested by the FBI for conspiring to kill cops.
....and so it continues.
Posted by: Iamnotanalcoholic at March 29, 2010 12:40 PM (rn2QH)
Even now, there's a rather silly expedition doing it's annual propaganda campaign, hiking toward the North Pole and calling it science.
So there's still a chance life can imitate art. Excellent.
Posted by: Dang Straights at March 29, 2010 12:41 PM (fx8sm)
Posted by: bill at March 29, 2010 12:42 PM (x49/7)
Sorry, he was on the wrong ass-end of creation.
Arctic = polar bear cubs.
Antarctic = cute little baby penguins.
Posted by: Dianna at March 29, 2010 12:42 PM (qrFCz)
Posted by: mrkwong at March 29, 2010 04:38 PM (G8Eo0)
Could of been worse...could have been "Ace"
Or Stryker or Goose or Maverick or Amelia.
Posted by: dananjcon at March 29, 2010 12:42 PM (pr+up)
Posted by: curious at March 29, 2010 12:43 PM (p302b)
OT -
If you are a conservative, we already know you may be a storm trooper, but if you also happen to support Israel, you may well be a traitor -
via Solomonia
Posted by: Hussein the Plumber at March 29, 2010 12:44 PM (RkRxq)
Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at March 29, 2010 12:44 PM (jvIdz)
I blame barack obama for the climate of hate.
Posted by: Guy Fawkes at March 29, 2010 12:45 PM (7VvJB)
Posted by: bill at March 29, 2010 12:45 PM (x49/7)
Posted by: Dianna at March 29, 2010 04:42 PM (qrFCz)
Antarctic = cute little baby penguins.
Who the fuck knew? Thence, light the grill for a little succulent baby penguin. Yea!
Posted by: Fish at March 29, 2010 12:46 PM (M5t+h)
Posted by: Ace Rimmer at March 29, 2010 12:46 PM (mR7mk)
Posted by: curious at March 29, 2010 04:40 PM (p302b)
Not down here, it ain't.
Posted by: TexasJew at March 29, 2010 12:47 PM (32E4t)
Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at March 29, 2010 12:47 PM (jvIdz)
Posted by: curious at March 29, 2010 04:43 PM (p302b)
It's real. Located on Svalbard Island IIRC.
Posted by: sharrukin at March 29, 2010 12:48 PM (593B8)
He is of Mexican decent and the is saying the dog is more famous than the area.
Posted by: curious at March 29, 2010 04:40 PM (p302b)
In my personal experience it's the tacos and putas than are most famous in Chihuahua. Ole!
Posted by: Fish at March 29, 2010 12:49 PM (M5t+h)
Who the fuck knew? Thence, light the grill for a little succulent baby penguin. Yea!
Posted by: FishI'll be right there!
(Actually, I think I read some antarctic explorer who said that the only thing that tasted worse than penguin was one of the dogs they had to eat.)
Posted by: Dianna at March 29, 2010 12:50 PM (qrFCz)
Just think Nam G. a potsmoking, American hating, anti-semite, college professor is out beloved country's leader.
Posted by: dananjcon at March 29, 2010 12:52 PM (pr+up)
Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at March 29, 2010 12:52 PM (jvIdz)
In my personal experience it's the tacos and putas than are most famous in Chihuahua. Ole!
Yeah, but the putas there are mui, mui males. Of couse quanto mas males, that's the best, imo.
Posted by: Hussein the Plumber at March 29, 2010 12:52 PM (RkRxq)
Posted by: robtr at March 29, 2010 12:52 PM (fwSHf)
Don't make me type my anger or you guys will be reading about me being picked up by the Feds.
Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at March 29, 2010 12:53 PM (jvIdz)
(Actually, I think I read some antarctic explorer who said that the only thing that tasted worse than penguin was one of the dogs they had to eat.)
Walrus chops! Mmmm. Mmmm. Mmmm.
Posted by: Iamnotanalcoholic at March 29, 2010 12:54 PM (rn2QH)
Posted by: Tommy V at March 29, 2010 12:54 PM (gkc1e)
Walrus chops! Mmmm. Mmmm. Mmmm.
Posted by: IamnotanalcoholicUm....
After you. Those tusks and the breath....ghastly!
Again, we're discussing the wrong ass-end of creation.
Posted by: Dianna at March 29, 2010 12:56 PM (qrFCz)
Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at March 29, 2010 12:57 PM (jvIdz)
Posted by: Andy Rand at March 29, 2010 12:58 PM (mhD2v)
Posted by: JWF at March 29, 2010 12:58 PM (KAKW2)
Posted by: dananjcon at March 29, 2010 12:59 PM (pr+up)
Posted by: Dianna at March 29, 2010 04:50 PM (qrFCz)
That's not true. When Shackleton's men had to eat their dogs (before they left the floating ice pack for a dash to Elephant Island in 3 little open boats), after months of eating penguins, they said the dog meat was was surprisingly delicious.
Amundsen also ate most of his dogs when they got to the top of the Polar Plateau on their way to discovering the South Pole. The fresh meat also kept them from getting scurvy.
Posted by: TexasJew at March 29, 2010 12:59 PM (32E4t)
Posted by: Ernest Shackleton at March 29, 2010 04:25 PM (QKKT0)
I quite agree, old chap.
Posted by: Zombie Robert Falcon Scott at March 29, 2010 01:01 PM (I/MqP)
Posted by: Callahan23 at March 29, 2010 01:01 PM (IFPxd)
And some people build whole academic careers on that very fact.
Posted by: Michael "Hockey Stick" Mann at March 29, 2010 01:03 PM (I/MqP)
Posted by: curious at March 29, 2010 01:04 PM (p302b)
Penguin is quite tasty but not as good as trainers.
Posted by: Killer Whale at March 29, 2010 01:04 PM (tf9Ne)
This was a different explorer. The name won't come to me - it's been a few years since I read the book.
In any case, the explorer and one of his companions (who died) had to eat one dog that tasted just awful.
Probably because the dog had been eating penguin.
Posted by: Dianna at March 29, 2010 01:06 PM (qrFCz)
Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at March 29, 2010 01:06 PM (jvIdz)
That's not true. When Shackleton's men had to eat their dogs (before they left the floating ice pack for a dash to Elephant Island in 3 little open boats), after months of eating penguins, they said the dog meat was was surprisingly delicious.
Actually, I ate some doggie sausages when I was in Vietnam. Not bad. Needed some sage.
Posted by: Iamnotanalcoholic at March 29, 2010 01:07 PM (rn2QH)
Ummmm, when they're dead and dressed they don't have breath anymore.
Posted by: 'Nam Grunt
A consummation most devoutly to be desired!
Or possibly a consume?
Posted by: Dianna at March 29, 2010 01:08 PM (qrFCz)
Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at March 29, 2010 01:10 PM (jvIdz)
Posted by: Dianna at March 29, 2010 01:14 PM (qrFCz)
Apparently his aim is off, he should be looking down the barrel from the opposite end when he pulls the trigger.
Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at March 29, 2010 01:18 PM (jvIdz)
one of my friends comes from ohio and got this as an alert...
Posted by: curious at March 29, 2010 01:19 PM (p302b)
Probably because the dog had been eating penguin.
Posted by: Dianna at March 29, 2010 05:06 PM (qrFCz)
I know most of the early explorers. Scott's first expedition with Shackleton and Bill WIlson was an incredible disaster. They didn't know how to drive their dogs and the a couple of the dogs actually sat on the sledges while they man-hauled. Scott was an idiot. They ate the dogs to stay alive (theat may be the quote, since Scott was a big animal-lover), but barely got back to the base. Shackleton was sent home with scurvy and never forgave Scott.
Shackleton's farthest south in 1909 used ponies, which they ate. They lost the last one down a crevasse on the Beardmore glacier.
Posted by: TexasJew at March 29, 2010 01:32 PM (32E4t)
Posted by: Vic at March 29, 2010 01:50 PM (QrA9E)
Posted by: smijer at March 29, 2010 02:31 PM (b3chg)
Posted by: Gowan Focyercelv at March 29, 2010 02:34 PM (PhPag)
Posted by: richard mcenroe at March 29, 2010 03:54 PM (YQSi+)
That's how it works.
Killing and eating your own dog will not get you anywhere close to Heaven, actually it will perhaps guarantee your damnation.
Posted by: NortonPete at March 29, 2010 06:08 PM (fVuwW)
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Posted by: Wizard of id at March 29, 2010 12:05 PM (eoYse)