1 i don't know....hasselhoff is dealing with LOTS of issues!

2 Watching Hasslehoff, need some laughs.

3 Hello, 911? Daddy's all naked on the floor again, eating raw hamburgers!

4 Top Shot is fantastic fun so far.  Good challenge.

5

I've been watching Top Shot since the beginning too. Has Ace mentioned it before? Great fun!

6 Behind the scenes, however, Kitt was spiraling into deep depression fueled by an addiction to ethanol. At last, Kitt confessed the awful truth to his therapist: David Hasselhof had spent the previous four years humping his tailpipe in between takes.

7 >>>Top Shot is fantastic fun so far. Good challenge. Yeah definitely creative and no one can argue it isn't testing some kind of gunslinging skill. One that you don't see tested too often.

8 don't hassel the hoff

9 Yeah definitely creative and no one can argue it isn't testing some kind of gunslinging skill. One that you don't see tested too often.

The guy from Survivor has proven to be a really good host as well. 

I love the fact that it's an unabashed celebration of guns, and how much fun they are to shoot. 

10 I hope they bring up the time Hasselhof snuck into the T.J. Hooker set and replaced The Shat's rug with Folger's Crystals.

11 BTW, last week's elimination was bs. In the past, they have not allowed the other contestants to watch the first-guy-to-go in some events where watching him would give you a big advantage. They didn't do that in the hill sniper's nest challenge. Everyone got to see. Everyone got to see the mark that had to be beat and got a heads up that extra rounds would lose it for them. The first guy had a tremendous, tremendous disadvantage based on pure luck of the draw.

12 Geez, I hate that chick's voice in the Progessive commercials.  She sounds like she has a vuvuzela stuck in her throat.

13 David Hasselhof made me all I am today!

14 10
I hope they bring up the time Hasselhof snuck into the T.J. Hooker set and replaced The Shat's rug with Folger's Crystals.

Posted by: eman at August 15, 2010 10:22 PM (Nw/hR)

 

What?  Are you kidding us?

15 so what is Top Shot about? sharpshooters?

16 yeah, sharpshooters, but they shoot with everything, colt peacemakers, muskets, bows, crossbows, throwing knives, slingshots... and of course rifles, assault rifles, shotguns and pistols.

17 Hadn't noticed that about last week's elimination round. Have to agree with you Ace.

18

Top Shot...I hate that the girl had to leave, because of her dad's illness.   She was pretty damn good.  

And, I was glad to see that one guy, can't remember his name, that left last week...not Kelly.   I thought he was an arrogant prick.   Plus, it was good that he had to leave at the same time Kelly did.   Wasn't he the one that was giving Kelly so much shit in the beginnning?

19 12 Geez, I hate that chick's voice in the Progessive commercials. She sounds like she has a vuvuzela stuck in her throat. Posted by: rdbrewer at August 15, 2010 10:23 PM (Ga7OZ) You mean Flo the Insurance Saleslady? Yeah, her voice is almost as high pitched as Palin's gets at times. Too bad Celebrity Deathmatch is no longer on MTV: Flo vs. Sarah would have been a classic.

20 No Country for Old Men is on Spike.

21 14, You never heard of that?

22 I don't know that seeing others shoot made a big difference. It may have helped a bit, but in the end either you can make the shot or you can't.  I couldn't have made a single one of those shots.

23 I thought there was going to be an old fashioned gun fight at the end of Top Shot, so I'm kinda disappointed.

24 You're thinking of Brad, Steph. He did come across as an arrogant prick.

25 But there was the loading issue. At the end Kelly mentioned that he added extra rounds at some stops and it took extra time.

26

You mean Flo the Insurance Saleslady?

Yeah.  I reach for the mute button every time.

27 you'd think he'd know the fucking difference between a brake and a clutch, but noooooo........

28 Was Kelly a dude?

29 WTF is going on. 

Ace posting before noon all week and now on a Sunday night.

Is there an eclipse of the moon tonight or what?

Looks like Ace is giving his all before the exit, just my suspicion.

30 I'd wake up morning after morning to find a condom pulled over my stick shift...

31 But there was the loading issue. At the end Kelly mentioned that he added extra rounds at some stops and it took extra time.

That's true, but Kelly was a pretty conservative shooter throughout the season.  Those extra rounds were just insurance that a good shooter like him didn't need.

32

Top Shot reminds me of my buddy's ranch in Texas.  All kinds of weapons.  All kinds of targets.  We use a nice backstop, a very steep hill.

I have a picture of the picnic table we were using to place our weapons one time.  It was covered.

33 The song 'Hot Shot City' is particularly good

34 Kelly also lost several seconds taking his glasses on and putting them on again. No one did that after he went.

35 and you do NOT want to know what he left in the glove box.  he used me like a fucking trash can.  PUT YOUR USED CONDOMS IN THE FUCKING TRASH CAN, DIPSHIT!

36 tho I don't think they needed his bad example. I didn't know why he was futzing with glasses in a timed competition.

37

They could do a finale should be based on Ulysses shot hrough the axe handles.

And the winner could marry a hot chick named Penelope.

38

Okay, those guys throwing knives?  Too much wrist.  I saw a show about that.  You're supposed to keep the wrist still.

39 I liked the episode with the trick shots best.   I'd like to try shooting over my shoulder siting with a mirror.   I was kind of surprised they did so well with those shots.

40
After the angry voter tsunami in November, I imagine a drunken Barack, sprawled on the floor of the White House and being filmed by Malia on her i-phone.
"Can't I just eat my wiffle?"

That's gold, Jerry, GOLD!

41 Top Shot sounds like a pretty cool series.  Didn't the history channel have something like that.  Extreme Marksmen or something.  I remember knife throwing and bow and arrows.  It's been awhile.

42

Dleta Smelt...they even used sling shots.

Trying to cut a fuse before it gets to the blast was cool, too.   Looked hard as hell.

43 Pretty cool show.  All they need is a chip shot, a 9-iron to a tiny, rock hard green.

44

I really liked the young dude on Top Shot, don't remember his name. I think with a little seasoning he will be far superior to some of those dudes.

45 Leaders Wives Courtesy of Theo Spark

  Submitted without comment.

46 I really liked the young dude on Top Shot, don't remember his name. I think with a little seasoning he will be far superior to some of those dudes.

He was one hell of a shot.  I'm glad the show was renewed for a second season.

47 I was amazed awhile ago when I found out that Gilbert Gottfried wasn't just a gimmick guy, but a well respected comedian in the industry.

Then I watch something like this and it reminds me why.

Well done.  Well done.

48 I'd wake up morning after morning to find a condom pulled over my stick shift...

I'm pretty sure KITT was a slushbox.  Column-mounted, even.  (Of course, that makes the thing with the condom even kinkier).

49

OMG, Gottfried was hilarious.  I don't think Pam Andersen thought so.

50 The Top Shot finale was pretty damn good.

51 Yeah that was tough... that was another one where going first was bad, because the initial shooter (Kelly) tried to shoot the fuse near its start point, and his failure let everyone know not to screw around with length of the fuse and just try to keep firing down-fuse.

52 46 Leaders Wives Courtesy of Theo Spark

  Submitted without comment.

Posted by: Looking Glass at August 15, 2010 10:58 PM (8VsjU)

Remember when Michelle said that for the first time in her life she was proud of her country?

Now I know how she felt all that time before she said that.

53 Mrs.Frakypants kept saying "you should go on that show," which shows what she knows about shooting. Huge difference between "like to shoot" (me) and "can shoot like a mofo" (those guys). They were really impressive.

54

More things for Top Shot I'd like to see:  bolas, boomerangs, and a sling competition.  On the latter, the target could be a big, ugly dummy named "Goliath

Also, how about just rock throwing?  Prolly the most basic weapon. 

55 At the end of Top shot they did give a little update of everyone.  Interesting to see that the guy who absolutely hated Kelly only to get eliminated that same episode went and had him on his radio program.  I wouldn't mind hearing that and seeing if he apologized to him for coming off like such a jackass to the kid.

56 I can't believe they got through the first season without an atlatl

57 Hasselhof, you're such a drunk, when alcohol does its taxes, it lists *you* as a dependent.

58 This is funny on so many different levels:

West Wing of Whitehouse covered with TARP.

59 55

Also, how about just rock throwing?  Prolly the most basic weapon. 

Posted by: rdbrewer at August 15, 2010 11:16 PM (Ga7OZ)

Then they'd need to invite a Palestinian.

42 Top Shot sounds like a pretty cool series.  Didn't the history channel have something like that.  Extreme Marksmen or something.  I remember knife throwing and bow and arrows.  It's been awhile.

Posted by: Delta Smelt at August 15, 2010 10:53 PM (IRwVS)

Yeah they've got a special or two on that.  They focus on a few guys that are like the best at what they do.  A knife thrower that can hit a zuchini resting on his assistant's arm and not cut her at all.  The guy with the whip was cool too.  And then they bring in the Abrams Tank showing that it is a marksman too.  Of course you never know when they will show it again.

60

I'd be good at Top Shot, guys.  I've always been good at making things hit other things.  Remember that show with Bill Bixby called "The Magician"?  I taught myself how to throw playing cards because of that.  Really well, too.  I was too dumb to know it wasn't real. 

I started with a BB gun, a little bow, playing cards, rocks, and dirt clods.  I could put a BB in my teddy bear at 50 feet.  Later, I moved up to throwing empty beer cans.  Then Frisbees.  Then tantrums. 

I'd clean up in dirt clods and beer cans.

61 Getting ready to rerun the Hasselhoff roast, if anyone who wanted to see it missed it.

62 14 10
I hope they bring up the time Hasselhof snuck into the T.J. Hooker set and replaced The Shat's rug with Folger's Crystals.

Posted by: eman at August 15, 2010 10:22 PM (Nw/hR)

 

What?  Are you kidding us?

Posted by: ed at August 15, 2010 10:24 PM (Zsqn4)

  22 14,

You never heard of that?

Posted by: eman at August 15, 2010 10:31 PM (Nw/hR)

Heh.  OK, you got me...  Wasn't that originally a gag that Thomas Jefferson did to Hamilton?  I think I remember reading about it in the Federalist Papers.  Or maybe I heard it on Glen Beck while I was hyped up on meth and Gila monster venom.

63 Oh: The Top Shot finale's on too, but don't post about that, because of, you know, spoilers. Anyone who's been watching it all season doesn't want to see the winner revealed in a comment.

64

25  actually, brad got knocked out by kelly during the burning fuse challenge

all season we heard how great brad was supposed to be with handguns and kelly dusted him with a handgun (closest to the bullseye)

kelly knocked out what, 5 people alone i think

65 OH (sorry for caps) BUT PLEASE NO SPOILERS, IT DOESN'T START FOR ANOTHER HOUR OUT HERE IN HAWAII

66 Just trolled over to Gawker, they've already got a clip of Lisa Lampanelli telling jokes about Haiti, Oil Spill and Ebert. They're all butthurt cause she was nasty about that human turd Ebert's cancer.

67 Here's a good idea for a production company name:  "Cut The Red Wire Productions;  No, The Blue Wire"

68 Pam Anderson is always funnier at these than I expect her to be.  Sure, she doesn't write her jokes, but her delivery is better than I would expect.  Maybe she does benefit from low expectations, but I genuinely chuckle at a decent percentage of her jokes.

69 Ace,

I have a Top Shot challenge for you. Could you hit a commenter within 40 days of posting "FURST!!!!?"

70

Lisa Lampanelli's Hasselhoff roast routine is here

http://tinyurl.com/39zp6dg

 In part:

"David Hasselhoff is a legend, a giant in television and music.  David, your singing is huge in Germany.  If they'd have played your music in Auschwitz the Jews would've sprinted for those ovens.  David Hasselhoff started his career on <i>The Young and the Restless</i> .  Now he's known as "the old and the shitfaced". Man, David, were you ever a drunk.  I don't wan't to say David drank a lot but his liver was so black and bloated it could've starred in <i>Precious</i>.  David Hasselhoff's liver is so black it's f**king two of the Kardashian sisters."

71 No spoilers here. I started watching Top Shot thinking it would be probably all pc and cliche'd but enjoyed it right from the start. I was a bit disappointed my guy didn't win but was f'n glad both Kelly AND Adam got wacked last week. Adam was an immature douche with his behaviour concerning Caleb and the drama of his own making that ensued. And Kelly was WAAAY to cocky being amongst all those talented guys and gal (I feel bad for Tara). When he was losing he started to humble up and cool down his self promoting. Great show and look forward to Season 2 already! On a different note: this is the most on point blog I have ever lurked on and kudos to all of you and Ace for making it that way.  

72 that's what she said

73 Fuck Top Shot.  I worked for that production company for several years, but due to, well, a complicated incident, they won't hire me any more.  Sucks, 'cause that show's right up my alley.

Yeah - it was sorta my fault, but I was sorta covering for other people, too and ate a bullet for them.

(Actually, I can't hate on the show.  Just Pilgrim...)

74

One of my uncles has tapes of roasts by Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra and people their age which are much funnier than the roast of Hasselhoff and without all of the dirty language, too.

Today's comedians are like today's singers and musicians and others in the entertainment industry today; cheap imitations of the superstars who used to entertain us. (Kinda like cheap imitations in the MSM, too.) And they wonder why their audiences are diminishing.

75 Other than sports events, I think that the last good show on TV was Rocky and Bullwinkle.

76 And here I was expecting erudite posts by Ghengis, who was a no show. (sigh)

77 What's Top Shot?  Some kind of award show for male porn stars?

78 CLOANED ROAST brought to you by VIAGEN.

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JR Simplot Company

79 And they wonder why their audiences are diminishing. Posted by: just ruminating here

NY/Hollywood MSM wish they could clone humor? I doubt it. They actually have a huge disdain for all things great, including those whom they should have recognized as their mentors. The media consists of over indulgent juvenile cheapshots staying stuck on stupid as they gray.

80 CNBC - rick santelli going off again....saying "the government doesn't belong in this"....

"the government is actively involved in the mortgage market, they are the owners of the mortgage market"......guest.

santelli asks "are they on the government's balance sheet"....the answer from guest comes back "no"

the guest is advocating allowing homeowners who have been paying being able to refinance at the historically low rates via low doc or no doc to reward the good behavior.

the look on the face of the guest as santelli is saying that the government has this stuff off the balance sheets of the GSE's..

After he finishes yelling the people behind him yell "yeah"

81

Have you noticed that Ace has become so uptight about racist comments here that, the other day when he posted an article about a python on drugs, that ditz felt compelled to specify that it was an albino python?   

82 88 Curious,

yeah Daily Caller is saying there is "new bi-partisan support" for reigning in Fan and fred, but IMHO that will not happen because if it did the truth about the donks' little game of in or out would be exposed.

83 Posted by: just ruminating here at August 16, 2010 08:42 AM (sYrWB)

I'm cutting him a lot of slack.  Life for everyone is very very stressful.  I'm thinking add a very well known, read by everyone who is anyone blog on top of that and his stress must be unbearable.  Add all the new laws and not knowing what you should be worrying about yet and you have a case for too much stress.

84 They're all butthurt cause she was nasty about that human turd Ebert's cancer.

She nailed it right on the head during the show when they got tweaked over it:

"It's a roast, assholes!"

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