Ace of Spades HQ

April 19, 2010

Rutger Hauer Stars In Most Despicable, Disgusting Film Ever Made
— Ace

Completely irresponsible too, giving the wrong people the wrongest ideas you can imagine.

The film? Hobo With a Shotgun. A more nightmarish, satanic dystopia I cannot conceive of.

If that title sounds familiar, it's because it was originally a short, a spoof ad for a movie that didn't exist, made in a competition promoted by the Grindhouse guys.

But Hollywood, sick as it is, couldn't leave well enough alone, and now they're actually filming the movie.

Thanks to MichaelN.

Posted by: Ace at 03:27 PM | Comments (89)
Post contains 99 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Finally. A Hollywood product I can feel good about.

Posted by: jcjimi at April 19, 2010 03:33 PM (ay6+/)

2 Don't worry, folks. I promise to make sure the hobo is bbq by the time credits role.

Posted by: Brian Dennehy at April 19, 2010 03:33 PM (pUfK9)

3 "Hobo with a shotgun" sounds a lot like "Deer with a shotgun", IYKWIMAITYD.

Posted by: bergerbilder at April 19, 2010 03:34 PM (S1Ttj)

4 'Bout time we had some good, clean, family friendly fare.

Posted by: jcjimi at April 19, 2010 03:35 PM (ay6+/)

5 He got a shotgun? Damn!

Posted by: The Bicycle Thief in Run Lola! Run! at April 19, 2010 03:35 PM (pUfK9)

6 The hunters become the hunted?

Posted by: Sam at April 19, 2010 03:35 PM (Cxsey)

7 People that are intolerant of others .... and the Dutch!!!

Posted by: Adriane at April 19, 2010 03:35 PM (Zgw8F)

8 The film? Hobo With a Shotgun. A more nightmarish, satanic dystopia I cannot conceive of.

And to top it all off it stars Rutger Hauer? Well hell then, what's the problem?

Posted by: The War Between the Undead States at April 19, 2010 03:35 PM (iC1rO)

9 When I hear "Hobo With a Shotgun" I think "Let's Go Hunt a Hobo With a Shotgun" rather than "Look Out, That Hobo Has a Shotgun!"

In that vein, "Hobos With a Hammer" is more appropriate.

Posted by: wooga at April 19, 2010 03:35 PM (2p0e3)

10 You're just upset because you don't want the hobos to figure out how to defend themselves.

Posted by: Alice H at April 19, 2010 03:36 PM (qJHYy)

11 I swear it's a body double for the sex scenes. I am NEVER gonna show the inside of my barrel in that manner.

Posted by: The Shotgun at April 19, 2010 03:37 PM (pUfK9)

12 Rutger Hauer kicks ass! Now we just need Chuck Norris to join in.

Posted by: TexBob at April 19, 2010 03:37 PM (2jp4I)

13 Mebbe the Hobo has a daughter he's marrying off...

Posted by: torabora at April 19, 2010 03:38 PM (lAHKU)

14 Rutger will make a good hobo, but I would have preferred Christopher Walken.

Posted by: kathysaysso at April 19, 2010 03:39 PM (ZtwUX)

15
Well isn't that just great.
Now, instead of dreaming of that Jezebel in the lace mini dress, I'll be tossing and turning to a dystopian nightmare.

Posted by: Bar Graph Czar at April 19, 2010 03:39 PM (Mc9zC)

16 So is it a single shot, double barrel, pump, semi-auto, 10 gauge, sawed off - how scary are we talking here? I need to know before I take the kids.

Posted by: bergerbilder at April 19, 2010 03:40 PM (S1Ttj)

17 Mebbe the Hobo is pissed off at having to pay for Obamacare....

Posted by: torabora at April 19, 2010 03:40 PM (lAHKU)

18 Hauer looks pretty good in that picture ......... ..... tasting , I mean .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at April 19, 2010 03:40 PM (a9UO0)

19 sooner or later I knew it would happen. Obama is arming hobos

Posted by: robtr at April 19, 2010 03:41 PM (fwSHf)

20 Heh.

Posted by: rdbrewer at April 19, 2010 03:41 PM (16T+/)

Barry as president, cats and dogs living together, hobos with shotguns.

In what alternate reality did I wake up in?

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at April 19, 2010 03:43 PM (P33XN)

22 Posted by: The Bicycle Thief in Run Lola! Run! at April 19, 2010 07:35 PM (pUfK9)

Heh...

Hobo with the bag of money

Posted by: Hobo with the Bag of Money at April 19, 2010 03:43 PM (ay6+/)

23 Chavez has been arming hobos for years now with AK47s.

Posted by: bergerbilder at April 19, 2010 03:44 PM (S1Ttj)

24 Holy shit, I'm still alive! Not only alive, but alive and making movies, even. Who knew?

Posted by: Rutger Hauer at April 19, 2010 03:49 PM (kmEfr)

25 "Hey Gringo, say hello to my little friend."

Posted by: bergerbilder at April 19, 2010 03:50 PM (S1Ttj)

26 One question - If your partner gets shot, do you call 911, or do you field dress him?

Posted by: bergerbilder at April 19, 2010 03:52 PM (S1Ttj)

27 Hey - I landed on my feet after I quit my last gig. George S's money sure does come in handy when ya take a fist full into the local Walmart and buy a few dozen 12 gauges.....

Posted by: Andy Stern, President of International Brotherhood of Hobos at April 19, 2010 03:52 PM (92zkk)

28 Damn, now I have to switch from the chainsaw to the Dakota Longbow.

Mind you, it's fun, but a different sort of fun. Kind of takes a little bit of the "personality" out of the hunt.

Maybe I'll have to Summer in Europe where the hobos are less likely to be armed. Then again, it's harder to tell which are the hobos, as everyone dresses in black, smokes, and has a cellphone glued to their ear, homeless or not.

Posted by: Merovign, Strong On His Mountain at April 19, 2010 03:54 PM (bxiXv)

29 Posted by: Andy Stern, President of International Brotherhood of Hobos at April 19, 2010 07:52 PM (92zkk)

Crap, I thought somebody claimed your ticket last season!

Posted by: Merovign, Strong On His Mountain at April 19, 2010 03:55 PM (bxiXv)

30 The noble hero hobo philosopher with a heart of gold.
Destined to become a stock character.

Posted by: fb at April 19, 2010 03:55 PM (G60Nl)

31 Oh, my fuckin' God. Depending on the theatrical release of this bitch, I totally see a Moron Meetup happening for it.

Posted by: SGT Dan at April 19, 2010 03:56 PM (L0IJJ)

32 Perfect for a moron meetup!

Posted by: NotAMolly at April 19, 2010 03:57 PM (ADJFU)

33
I think HOMO WITH A SHOTGUN would be funnier.

Posted by: Dynomutt After Dark at April 19, 2010 03:58 PM (Uf4aV)

34 Maybe I'll have to Summer in Europe where the hobos are less likely to be armed.

Actually, in Europe they're MORE likely to be armed. It's the responsible citizens who've been disarmed there.

Posted by: The War Between the Undead States at April 19, 2010 03:59 PM (iC1rO)

35 Anything Rutger Hauer is likely to star in these days will probably end up as a candidate for the most despicable, disgusting film ever made.

It's been a long, long fall from Ladyhawk and Blade Runner. Even from The Osterman Weekend.

Posted by: Ace's liver at April 19, 2010 04:00 PM (XIXhw)

36
or HO WITH A SHOTGUN

Blow you? I'll blow you away, cocksucker. BOOM!

Posted by: Dynomutt After Dark at April 19, 2010 04:00 PM (UUkhk)

37 There is a God.

Posted by: Doc Rochester at April 19, 2010 04:01 PM (pBsGg)

38 "Hello 911? My partner has just been shot by a shotgun armed hobo, I think he's dead" "This is 911. Before I can advise you, please make sure that your partner is really dead" *BANG* "Ok, now what?"

Posted by: bergerbilder at April 19, 2010 04:01 PM (S1Ttj)

39 I am muthafuckin' tired... of these muthafuckin' hobos... with muthafuckin' shotguns!

Posted by: Samuel L. Muthafuckin Jackson at April 19, 2010 04:01 PM (ZZg4j)

40
When you think about it, bums are pretty much zombies. So this is like a Zombie With A Shotgun.

Posted by: Dynomutt After Dark at April 19, 2010 04:02 PM (UUkhk)

41 I have the feeling I'd watch the shit out of this movie once it's out on DVD.

I think HOMO WITH A SHOTGUN would be funnier.

This one, too.

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at April 19, 2010 04:03 PM (LNuCm)

42 And so what started out as an idiotic joke will become the freshest and most original film to come out of Hollywood in 2010...

Posted by: Chainsaw Chimp at April 19, 2010 04:06 PM (k4bdL)

43 Open-carrying hobos? I see no problem with that.

Now, as for the rest of you NRA motherfuckers...

Posted by: Ass. Lori Saldana (D-San Diego) at April 19, 2010 04:07 PM (iC1rO)

44 12 Rutger Hauer kicks ass!

The last time I saw Rutger Hauer in a movie, he appeared to be as big around the middle as Al Gore.

Posted by: Pelayo at April 19, 2010 04:08 PM (C8qIl)

45
Gabriel Byrne is the poor man's Rutger Hauer.

Posted by: Dynomutt After Dark at April 19, 2010 04:09 PM (UUkhk)

46 How many hobos does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2 - one to hold the bulb, and one to BLOW YOUR ASS OFF!! Okay, it needs a little work.

Posted by: bergerbilder at April 19, 2010 04:10 PM (S1Ttj)

47
If Rutger Hauer and Alfred Molina had son...

it would be Gabriel Byrne.

Posted by: Dynomutt After Dark at April 19, 2010 04:10 PM (UUkhk)

48 Coming soon: Rutger Hauer is...the Tramp. That little shit from 2 1/2 Men is...The Kid. In...The Kid. Summer, 2010. "Little fucker ate all my potatoes."

Posted by: Pug Mahon at April 19, 2010 04:12 PM (Wb1g8)

49 Speaking of movies, I finally watched 2012 last night (thank you bittorrent!). And I thought Transformers 2 sucked like an Oreck. Good Lord.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 19, 2010 04:12 PM (VY5KX)

50 Well...it's not my longed-for rom-com about a aging film critic meeting the Thai tranny of his dreams, but it will have to do. Thumbs up!

Posted by: Roger Ebert at April 19, 2010 04:13 PM (k4bdL)

51 You know today kinda seems like "Groundhog Day", Ace comes out of the basement and makes several posts, sees an armed hobo, then he probably will be back in the basement for another 6 weeks.

Posted by: MrCaniac at April 19, 2010 04:14 PM (Vol3D)

52
ITC, have you seen DEFENDOR yet?

highly recommend

Posted by: Dynomutt After Dark at April 19, 2010 04:14 PM (UUkhk)

53 O'Reilly just teased with "Robert Gibbs attacks Megyn Kelly". Now this could be serious, we could be talking about a real revolution here. Back off Gibbs you fat fuck!

Posted by: robtr at April 19, 2010 04:20 PM (fwSHf)

I smell academy award!

No, never mind, that was the hobo is was smelling.

Posted by: Hammer at April 19, 2010 04:21 PM (1kwr2)

55 You know today kinda seems like "Groundhog Day", Ace comes out of the basement and makes several posts, sees an armed hobo, then he probably will be back in the basement for another 6 weeks.

Or at least until the Valu-Rite runs out.

Posted by: Ace's liver at April 19, 2010 04:24 PM (XIXhw)

56 "Hobo with an handgun" has better alliteration.

Posted by: runningrn at April 19, 2010 04:24 PM (CfmlF)

57 Knock, knock. Who's there? Hobo. Hobo who? Hobo your will's in order!!!11!!!!!

Posted by: bergerbilder at April 19, 2010 04:24 PM (S1Ttj)

58
Oh yeah? I'm making Hobotar in 3-D. Top that bitches!

Posted by: James Cameron at April 19, 2010 04:27 PM (Oxen1)

59 "Hobo with an handgun" has better alliteration. "Hobo has a Handgun" is an even better alliteration. But "Hobo goes G.I. Joe" has better assonance (and we can all go for better assonance.)

Posted by: bergerbilder at April 19, 2010 04:29 PM (S1Ttj)

60 Well, they couldn't make a film closer to true life, such as "Hobo with Terminal Tuberculosis"

Posted by: UGAdawg at April 19, 2010 04:34 PM (/VjHB)

61 Look pussy, hobo hunting is only a man's sport when the hobo's are armed. Get with it or get the fuck out, Susan.

Posted by: Cack Finger at April 19, 2010 04:34 PM (TUBcJ)

62 Aqualung II: 12 Gauge Surprise

Posted by: Cack Finger at April 19, 2010 04:39 PM (TUBcJ)

63 When I did the screen test it was named Derelect with a Derringer. Damn must have been a working title.

Posted by: Billy Barty at April 19, 2010 04:42 PM (68tQb)

64 Dang! derelicts can't spell either

Posted by: Billy Barty at April 19, 2010 04:44 PM (68tQb)

65 Well, they couldn't make a film closer to true life, such as "Hobo with Terminal Tuberculosis"

Personally, I prefer Hobo with XDRTB.

XDRTB-eXtremely Drug-Resistant Tuberculosis

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at April 19, 2010 04:45 PM (LNuCm)

66 Dang! derelicts can't spell either What do you mean, I can spell either.

Posted by: bergerbilder at April 19, 2010 05:05 PM (S1Ttj)

67 Arming the hobos with shotguns does make the hunt more challenging.

Posted by: pbrown at April 19, 2010 05:05 PM (XIUQZ)

68 You know if Redeye wanted to be really helpful, they would have Ace on right before Hobo Season. Ace could give the tips on how armed hobos have changed the hunt. But I doubt Redeye has the guts to do so. Heck, that night it would outdraw O'Reilly.

Easy way to disarm the hobos, bait em with a bottle of Thunderbird and a 40 of Olde English Malt Liquor. Gotta use two hands for the hooch!

Posted by: MrCaniac at April 19, 2010 05:24 PM (Vol3D)

69 I suppose he hitch hikes to get around like he did in the Hitcher.

Posted by: Speller at April 19, 2010 05:45 PM (o0R2E)

70 True story-I was preggers when Hitcher came out back in the 80s and begged my ex to let me name my son Rutger. Asshole said no. Asshole.

Posted by: di butler, unlicensed dog whisperer at April 19, 2010 05:55 PM (S3xX1)

71 OK What was that blog that linked the video of firing guns underwater, but they also had a guy in really short cut off jeans running around in the woods and punching people in the face? Because that's what this movie should be.

Posted by: Tattoo De Plane at April 19, 2010 06:54 PM (mHQ7T)

72 Did Rutger Hauer ever make a movie without a shotgun or sword? Isn't Rutger Hauer really a hobo? But seriously...Hauer is a huge enviro nut. He's a big time supporter of Greenpeace and thinks trying to sink whaling ships is a good idea. Hey, what's a few Scandis as long as a whale is saved. But the ending of Wanted: Dead or Alive is still totally awesome, after all what's one less Arab terrorist aka Gene Simmons. They could never make that movie today.

Posted by: Deanna at April 19, 2010 07:40 PM (ZzV20)

73 to: bergerbilder
re: your question

If your partner isn't getting dressed before going to the field, you need to start looking for a new partner before he gets shot.

As to the shotgunning hobo, from the vid clip, he seems a civic minded sort of guy. Maybe we should pitch in and get him a special ID collar or something so none of us accidentally hunt him.

Posted by: Grimmy at April 19, 2010 08:46 PM (ffJUf)

74 Best Rutger Hauer movie ever? The one where Jennifer Jason Leigh gets nekkid. But then it's late, and I'm horny.

Posted by: Bubba at April 19, 2010 11:21 PM (tBrQI)

75 I thought Rutger Hauer was dead...

Posted by: JEA at April 20, 2010 03:12 AM (XZu3c)

76 Here it is!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTmSJDyav-A

Posted by: Tattoo De Plane at April 20, 2010 05:45 AM (mHQ7T)

Hobo Hemorhoid With A Shotgun

[there, fixed it for ya]

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