Ace of Spades HQ

August 10, 2010

Sandra Bullock Re: Space-Invading Levi Johnston: "Get Him Away From Me"
— Ace

She's not the sort who has a lot of sympathy for women-abusing men.

All night long Levi was trying to get close to Sandra," an award show insider tells me. "He desperately wanted to get his picture taken with Sandra hoping it would show up on the cover of a magazine or at least be able to meet her in person and give America's sweetheart his phone number. Sandra was having none of it, telling everyone, 'Get him away from me.'"
Levi, who clearly has no idea just how smart Sandra actually is, was seen making several futile attempts to catch her eye, all of which failed. Once he realized Sandra was out of his league, Levi was seen approaching at least three other female celebrities who also all refused to have their pictures taken with the fame-obsessed Alaskan.
"Levi's 15 minutes are definitely up but it seems no one has told him that yet," a Hollywood manager tells me. "After what he did to Bristol recently he has gone from being a bad joke to just a bad guy. No one wants to be seen hanging out with him, and leaving everyone to scratch their heads asking how he actually got invited to [the Teen Choice Awards] to begin with."

Hmmm... Hollywood has decided he's a "bad guy"?

You know who this benefits? Andrew Sullivan.

Coming Soon: The Levi Johnston Gay Porn Video.

Via Gabriel again.

Posted by: Ace at 10:14 AM | Comments (82)
Post contains 255 words, total size 2 kb.

Put Levi on the Island of No Longer Useful Progressive Tools along with Cindy Sheehan, Richard Clark, ...

Posted by: brains? at August 10, 2010 10:16 AM (uFokq)

2 What-didn't he offer to give her the ol' Dirty Sanchez? That woulda sealed the deal.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at August 10, 2010 10:17 AM (pLTLS)

3 Hopefully, seeing what a douche this little jerk really is will open some Hollywood lefties' eyes a bit about this whole mess.

And while we're at it, where's my damn unicorn?

Posted by: Tungsten Monk at August 10, 2010 10:18 AM (kwcvz)

4 Hey Levi, how do you feel about milky glutes?

Posted by: Andi Sullivan at August 10, 2010 10:18 AM (zgZzy)

That cock-blocking son of a bitch!

Posted by: Jesse James at August 10, 2010 10:19 AM (zgZzy)

6 I always liked Sandra. This seals it.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at August 10, 2010 10:19 AM (zgZzy)

7 Perhaps we could shorten his time in the limelight by not giving him any here? Not bashing you,. Ace, but this dickweed needs to whither in the shadows.

Posted by: nickless at August 10, 2010 10:20 AM (MMC8r)

8 You know who this actually benefits the most? Mitt Romney.

Posted by: Hugh Hewitt at August 10, 2010 10:21 AM (/G0pB)

9
Levi - Here's a list people who will probably be willing to have their photo taken with you:

David Letterman
Sean Penn
George Clooney
Matt Damon
The View women
Kathy Griffin

Posted by: Charles Johnsin at August 10, 2010 10:22 AM (0fzsA)

Levi, have you ever been bicycling naked? Give me a call, sugar nips!

Posted by: Charles Johnson at August 10, 2010 10:23 AM (zgZzy)

11 She's not the sort who has a lot of sympathy for women-abusing men.

Nah. She just fucks Nazis. Smart lady.

And this story is made up.

Posted by: oblig. at August 10, 2010 10:23 AM (x7Ao8)

12 Ace, your posts lately have really made me smile, and I need to smile more, so thanks!

Posted by: Dan at August 10, 2010 10:24 AM (1jzSs)

13
damn sock.

Levi should really go for a David Letterman photo. I'll bet David Letterman will even have the a-hole on his show.

Posted by: Juji Fruit at August 10, 2010 10:25 AM (0fzsA)

14
"Get him away".

Sounds like pillow talk to me, Levi.

Posted by: Roman Polansky at August 10, 2010 10:25 AM (3gOBr)

"Johnston said he knows his reputation 'is love and hate right nowÂ… but weÂ’re trying to flip that around.' This show, he added, will 'send a message to America about who I really am and what I want to do with my life.'Â” http://tinyurl.com/22kdpn5

America to Levi: "Um, who?"

Posted by: Cicero at August 10, 2010 10:26 AM (QKKT0)

16 How the hell he got invited to the Teen Choice Awards is right - unless he is an example of a bad choice!

Posted by: Moi at August 10, 2010 10:26 AM (Ez4Ql)

17 Sandy just mistook Levi for sickinmass.

Posted by: Editor at August 10, 2010 10:26 AM (pUfK9)

18
Note to the mom's and dad's of Wasilla:

'Get him away from me.'"

That transfers to your daughters. If Levi becomes Mayor, lock em' up.

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at August 10, 2010 10:27 AM (0fzsA)

19 I'd bang him. .. in the head with a frying pan.

Posted by: Abby Adams at August 10, 2010 10:28 AM (pLTLS)

And this story is made up.

how do you know?

You Perez Hilton, or something?

Posted by: brain, brain, brain, what is brain?!?! at August 10, 2010 10:28 AM (uFokq)

21 lefties will continue to promote this idiot so long as they think he'll be some sort of embarrassment to Sarah Palin -- after that, expect some bear to say, "well, he tasted pretty bad but I was hungry."

Posted by: Ira at August 10, 2010 10:30 AM (bJm7W)

22 Sickinmass - if you're reading this, I hope you have a little more respect for Sandra now that she refused to have her photo taken with the douche. Maybe not a lot of respect, but give her some props.

Posted by: Sassypants at August 10, 2010 10:32 AM (z92qZ)

23
I'm pretty confident Joy Behar would fellate Levi on The View.
(mind bleach - have some)

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at August 10, 2010 10:32 AM (0fzsA)

Coming Soon: The Levi Johnston Gay Porn Video.

Bwhahaha! Title of his gay menage a trois blockbuster:

"Cause Nothing Comes Between Me and My Calvins"

Posted by: runningrn at August 10, 2010 10:33 AM (CfmlF)

25 "if she fucked assholes"???? In the words of Ron White's wife, " I ain't strapping that thing on for nobody" Butt yeah, this boy is gonna be a good little whiney receiver.

Posted by: Mbruce at August 10, 2010 10:34 AM (mU6Ge)

26 I know Sandra Bullock has done some dumbass things but she's always played parts that make you think (perhaps erroneously) that she's a good person at heart; so I'm glad she did the smart thing with this glory-hounding POS.

Posted by: Captain Hate at August 10, 2010 10:34 AM (qPpkJ)

27 "Coming Soon: The Levi Johnston Gay Porn Video."

Too late:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7yfxaeJ5RM

Posted by: Anon at August 10, 2010 10:35 AM (yFU0t)

28 Kinda off topic - but in regard to the flight attendant story - why was it necessary for all the articles to point out that when the police knocked on the guy's door he was in the middle of "what appeared to be having sex with his boyfriend"??? I mean, why is that a crucial piece of journalistic information? By the way, yeah, it was a bizarre thing the guy did by leaving through the slide chute, but he has my sympathy. Think of what a horrible person that passenger was to curse him out when he was telling her to sit down, and then to hit him in the head. I would hate to be a flight attendant.

Posted by: Sassypants at August 10, 2010 10:36 AM (z92qZ)

29 18
How the hell he got invited to the Teen Choice Awards is right - unless he is an example of a bad choice!

Posted by: Moi at August 10, 2010 02:26 PM (Ez4Ql)

Unfortunately, from the teenage girls I know, they have a propensity to choose Levi-types

Posted by: Ludicrous Speed at August 10, 2010 10:38 AM (BOnfa)

30 Hi Levi. I'd like you to meet ... Mohammet ... Jugdish, Sidney and Clayton. Grab a seat and make yourselves at home. Don't be shy about helping yourselves to punch and cookies.

Heh.

Animal House references are always appropriate.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 10, 2010 10:38 AM (P9+0W)

31
Levi's Off The Rack: The Shunnening.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at August 10, 2010 10:38 AM (QMtmy)

32 I cannot wait until this dude finally gets into gay porn...at first he will be promised to only be a top...but sales aren't so good man, we need something different, hotter to sell, Levi, so you we need you to....

Posted by: sexypig at August 10, 2010 10:39 AM (0t7L8)

_{Posted by: Sassypants at August 10, 2010 02:36 PM (z92qZ)}

Think how upset his 'partner' is going to be when he finds out that the Flight Attendant gets to spend up to 5 years in Prison!?!?

The Jealousy will kill that relationship.

Posted by: garrett at August 10, 2010 10:41 AM (DgQF2)

34 Is "Coming Soon" the name of the video?

I always thought it would be a great tagline for a condom ad.

Posted by: Hey.Wheres.Barry at August 10, 2010 10:41 AM (gQLr2)

"we need something different, hotter to sell, Levi, so you we need you to...."

Within 2 years, his movies are gonna be illegal in Mexico.

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at August 10, 2010 10:43 AM (HaYO4)

36 how do you know?

Yeah, I'm holding my breath for A listers to come forward with character testaments for Levi the Deadbeat Fuckhole.

Posted by: Tattoo De Plane at August 10, 2010 10:44 AM (mHQ7T)

37
Levi - We would like to introduce you to Cindy Sheehan.
Once the left is done with you, your 15 minutes of fame will be up. tick tock.

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at August 10, 2010 10:44 AM (0fzsA)

38
Levi is the Kato Kaelin of the 21st century.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at August 10, 2010 10:45 AM (QMtmy)

39 'Get him away from me.'"

Sandra Bullock is a role model for young women across America.

Posted by: Tattoo De Plane at August 10, 2010 10:45 AM (mHQ7T)

40 Fox confirming Stevens among the dead.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at August 10, 2010 10:45 AM (5aa4z)

41 OT: Federal Reserve decides to keep interest rates at their current level and the stock market spikes upwards. I guess the good news to the stock market is that things are so shitty it forced the Feds to keep interest rates low hoping that consumers will continue to spend the little that they are. Hope and fucking Change! Got it.

Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at August 10, 2010 10:47 AM (YVZlY)

42 Coming Soon: The Levi Johnston Gay Porn Video.

Look here. We have standards and will not go there.

/walks off in a swishy huff

Posted by: the gay pron industry at August 10, 2010 10:48 AM (OKZrE)

43

This post brought to you by:

Levi's Milky Loads, filling a rectum near you.

Posted by: Rev Dr Pat Cadell at August 10, 2010 10:48 AM (tcSZb)

But...I um...uh...my....second chakra needs releasing....?

Posted by: Levi, looking down at his shoes, at August 10, 2010 10:49 AM (F26eZ)

45 sassypants, I don't know, but I just felt the need to mention that myself. It's just... I don't know, funny. I guess you're bothered that it seems to highlight stereotypes. I guess so. But I do think it's a nice detail.

Posted by: ace at August 10, 2010 10:52 AM (QbA6l)

46 Hey Ace,

it turns out Jizzspigot McDouchenozzle isn't eligible to be Mayor in Wasilla (doesn't meet the age or residency requirements), and the filing deadline was in July and his name isn't on the ballot. So his latest "reality show" stunt was either shameless attention whoring or he's too fucking stoopid to do basic research. Or both.

I hope there's a tragic "carjacking gone awry" that ends with his bullet-riddled carcass bleeding out on the street in his very near future.

Posted by: ol_dirty_/b/tard at August 10, 2010 10:52 AM (IoUF1)

47
Levi at the Teen Choice awards? What the hell was the category? Teen Choice Baby Daddies?

Posted by: The Chewbacca Defense at August 10, 2010 10:54 AM (YMZjg)

48 I hope there's a tragic "carjacking gone awry" that ends with his bullet-riddled carcass bleeding out on the street in his very near future.

I'm expecting the usual "body found in hotel room/"accidental" overdose"--this would be a nice change of pace.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at August 10, 2010 10:55 AM (9PzaA)

Posted by: Sassypants at August 10, 2010 02:36 PM (z92qZ)

It doesn't matter who (or what) he was fucking. The fact is, he's exemplifying the AOSHQ lifestyle in a way that most of could only dream of, and he should serve as an inspiration to Morons everywhere regardless of sexual preference. The only way his recent exploits could have been better is if hobo-killing was involved.

Posted by: ol_dirty_/b/tard at August 10, 2010 10:57 AM (IoUF1)

50 45 - I'm not saying I would have necessarily handled it the same way the flight attendant did, but what the passenger did to him was beyond offensive, and I would have been incredibly pissed. She sounds like she had issues too. As to Garrett - one of the stories mentioned the flight attendant was married to a woman at some point in his life. Then they want on to say he was HIV positive. Again, why did we need to know this? Yes, it's a rhetorical question.

Posted by: Sassypants at August 10, 2010 10:57 AM (z92qZ)

51 So his latest "reality show" stunt was either shameless attention whoring or he's too fucking stoopid to do basic research. Or both.

Maybe those two sooper genius fuckwits that had the brilliant ideas for this reality show should update their bios to something a bit less complimentary.

Posted by: Captain Hate at August 10, 2010 10:57 AM (qPpkJ)

52 I didn't know you mentioned the fact, Ace - I read it in a NY Post article. I just thought it really odd that the reporter would include that fact in the story as if we'd all go "Oh, well, there you go!" let him fry for what he did.

Posted by: Sassypants at August 10, 2010 10:59 AM (z92qZ)

The timeline on the flight attendant story is important.

Altercation. RAGE! Beer. Slide. Home. Buttsecks. Cuff'd.

You lose any one of these pieces, and you diminish the story as a whole.

Posted by: reason at August 10, 2010 11:00 AM (F26eZ)

54 Posted by: HeatherRadish at August 10, 2010 02:55 PM (9PzaA)

That would work too. Although you know whatever happens to him the moonbats will say "THAT EVIL QUITTAH SARAH PALIN KILLED HIM!!!!111!!!"

Posted by: ol_dirty_/b/tard at August 10, 2010 11:01 AM (IoUF1)

55 yeah, I'm not saying the story isn't funny or even hilarious - I admit to laughing at the fact that he was so angry that he went home to "do" his boyfriend and that the police caught him again, and this is funny too - "in what they believed him to be having sex with his boyfriend" as in, was he, or wasn't he???? But, I just found it bizarre that these facts were included in the story - like they didn't have enough information so they had to pad the piece.

Posted by: Sassypants at August 10, 2010 11:02 AM (z92qZ)

56 Maybe Hollywood's best don't want to associate with Johnston because he has failed in his mission to tear down Palin.

Posted by: davidt at August 10, 2010 11:03 AM (HtIec)

57
What happened to that freak stalker that moved in next to the Palins?

Posted by: Dang Straights at August 10, 2010 11:05 AM (fx8sm)

50 I hope there's a tragic "carjacking gone awry" that ends with his bullet-riddled carcass bleeding out on the street in his very near future.

Nah. This kid has suicide written all over him. I just hope that he goes alone...

Posted by: joejm65 at August 10, 2010 11:07 AM (DRcw3)

59 The boyfriend is sitting at home, thinking he has another hour or two until the Chutester comes home, when all of a sudden the door bursts open. With a can of Heineken in each hand, he demands partner-boy to jump in the sack and drop trou because he just got fired and the cops are probably coming. And could you please turn on CNN, you dirty bitch? I actually feel bad for the guy.

Posted by: Lincolntf at August 10, 2010 11:08 AM (w05/A)

Levi's got a much longer, drawn-out demise in his future. He just isn't gonna go away in a neat little single-news-cycle story. That's not the Ricky Hollywood Way.

After joining the family business and getting busted, Ricky gets sent to jail. Pleads guilty, still gets a couple years sentence. Ricky winds up shivved in the laundry room eight months later when a jilted former "owner" finds out someone new is forcing him to toss salad.

Posted by: reason at August 10, 2010 11:08 AM (+hPIb)

61 66 I promise split all my profits on the "W.W.R.H.D" bracelets I intend to market at Homocon.

Posted by: Lincolntf at August 10, 2010 11:10 AM (w05/A)

"in what they believed him to be having sex with his boyfriend" as in, was he, or wasn't he?"

They'll never get me to testify!

Posted by: The Chicken, standing awkwardly in the hallway in a towel, at August 10, 2010 11:11 AM (+hPIb)

63 We all knew way back when that he'd find his way into porno.

Some trash just doesn't float, it sinks just like whale sh!t.

I am surprised that some folks in Hollywood have SOME kind of standards.

Posted by: jakee308 at August 10, 2010 11:18 AM (WZeLK)

64 I've always liked Sandra Bullock. Please tell me she did a sex tape with Eva Mendes while eating a bacon sandwich...

Posted by: richard mcenroe at August 10, 2010 11:19 AM (1huzb)

65 yeah, what a "smart woman" Sandra is and how out of her league he is. First, he needs to join a Nazi youth movement, get some fascist and racist tattoos and fuck a few white supremecist pr0n actresses, then he'll be in this genius' league, I guess. Oh yeah, she's really smart *coughjessiejamecough*

Posted by: ms. docweasel at August 10, 2010 11:20 AM (rLs4O)

66 Jizzspigot McDouchenozzle

I believe this is what we should officially call Levi from now on.

Posted by: shibumi at August 10, 2010 11:24 AM (OKZrE)

You know who this benefits? Andrew Sullivan.

Coming Soon: The Levi Johnston Gay Porn Video.

Porno is for losers. I would prefer to continue my investigations of the criminal Palin gang personally--by probing Levi's nether regions. I can't yet conclusively say he has power glutes. I'm just asking the questions that the MSM won't.

Posted by: Obstetrician-General Sir Andrew S. Sullivan, Esq., O.B.C., W.T.F. at August 10, 2010 11:25 AM (5+Fvb)

68 damn i keep missing all the action

Posted by: Larry Sinclair at August 10, 2010 11:40 AM (xFrIq)

69 Don't kid yourself. A guy as douche-tastic as Ricky Hollywood will have women all over him. He was at the Teen Choice Awards! That means someone got him in.

Any guy, with even a bit of fame, no matter how lame, will pull women waaaaaay out of his league otherwise. And this guy pulled Bristol Palin when her Mom was Governor of Alaska. While he had no fame at all.

Women love cocky jerkiness. Ricky Hollywood won't go away any more than Kevin Federline.

Posted by: whiskey at August 10, 2010 11:43 AM (L03mw)

70 Sorry ya struck out there, Levi. But I heard that Bombshell McGee is still available.

Ok, she's always available. Even for a schmuck like you.

Posted by: bigpinkfluffybunny at August 10, 2010 11:44 AM (lPU0f)

71 Oh, that bitch, Sandra! She's a neocon mistress of the military-industrial complex just like Sarah! Neocon!!!!!

Posted by: Reality C*nt Here at August 10, 2010 11:58 AM (rfHsm)

72 This distinctly raises my respect level for Sandra Bullock, though she made the exact same mistake on her guy choosing as did Bristol Palin.

Posted by: obviously at August 10, 2010 12:03 PM (xm1A1)

@75: "Any guy, with even a bit of fame, no matter how lame, will pull women waaaaaay out of his league otherwise. And this guy pulled Bristol Palin when her Mom was Governor of Alaska. While he had no fame at all."

Look, even *we* have standards.

Posted by: Snooki, J-Woww, Sammi, and Angelina at August 10, 2010 12:05 PM (ySNz/)

74 Yet another reason to dig Sandra Bullock.

Posted by: rdbrewer at August 10, 2010 12:23 PM (Adi4S)

75 Hey Cathy Griffin, how Levi Johnston's ass taste? LOL.

Posted by: cackfinger at August 10, 2010 12:50 PM (TUBcJ)

76 Why is it that when I think of Levi Johnston's antics the words Democrat Party comes to mind?

Posted by: Greg at August 10, 2010 01:54 PM (nZXNe)

77 9
Levi - Here's a list people who will probably be willing to have their photo taken with you: [...]

Posted by: Charles Johnsin at August 10, 2010 02:22 PM (0fzsA)

Ooh! Me me me! I'll do it!

Posted by: Jen "dadz r dum lolz" Aniston at August 10, 2010 01:55 PM (Qrc7U)

78 The mayoral isn't until 2012.

Posted by: toby928 at August 10, 2010 02:57 PM (S5YRY)

Will he be changing his name to Ricky Wasilly?

Posted by: Tattoo De Plane at August 10, 2010 01:59 PM (mHQ7T)

79 Yeah, I'm as anti-Hollywood as the next guy, but even they would recognize that Levi's a douche at this point. They might still believe he's right about Palin, but they would know he sucks.

Posted by: William at August 10, 2010 01:59 PM (4l6HJ)

80 Coming Soon: The Levi Johnston Gay Porn Video.

--A few weeks ago Jim Rome brought up three telltale signs your career/fame has hit rock-bottom:

1. Getting in the ring/octagon to fight sexagenarians (applies mostly to pro athletes)

2. Cut a porno.

3. Commit crimes.

My bet's on #2 as well, maybe gay, maybe straight.

Posted by: logprof at August 10, 2010 04:03 PM (BP6Z1)

I like Bullock. She keeps her politics to herself, doesn't gush all the details of her personal life, and quietly gives a hell of a lot more money to charity than people with ten times her bank account and twenty times her mouth. And she's hot as hell.

And now you're telling me she hates Levi too? Wow, didn't think she could be any more perfect.

Posted by: Sean P at August 10, 2010 06:08 PM (M3QBc)

I've always liked Sandra Bullock. Please tell me she did a sex tape with Eva Mendes while eating a bacon sandwich...

No, that was her husband.

Posted by: Decaf at August 11, 2010 08:01 AM (NooBZ)

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