April 26, 2010
— Dave in Texas If I've been thinking about it all day, technically it's not "pre-mature"*
The drug, taken one to three hours before sex, is shown to make men last three times as long.
That's up to three whole minutes fellas. Can I get a witness?
The story says just right out, in your face, that as many as one in three men suffer from "arriving at the station before the train's ready to leave". I don't have any numbers to back this up, but I'll bet the other two are likely IT types or accountants.
Not yet approved for use in the US. I guess it will be at some point, and when it is, well, I predict dire consequences and general mayhem.
*I don't know who to credit for that joke, but I like it.
Posted by: Dave in Texas at
04:52 PM
| Comments (146)
Post contains 152 words, total size 1 kb.
The drug, taken one to three hours before sex, is shown to make men last three times as long.
When it will make men three times as long, I'll buy it.
Posted by: Cicero at April 26, 2010 04:54 PM (QKKT0)
Posted by: Sassypants at April 26, 2010 04:55 PM (W9i3l)
Posted by: Guy who is willfully obtuse for comedic effect at April 26, 2010 04:56 PM (Ncr1R)
Posted by: Kensington at April 26, 2010 04:57 PM (aDdAT)
Posted by: TexasJew at April 26, 2010 04:57 PM (KXW8j)
Old and busted: putting a rubber band around the base of your dick, then smacking it with a hammer
The new hotness: New Wonder Drug for Men Enhances "Staying Power"
Posted by: Cicero at April 26, 2010 04:58 PM (QKKT0)
This is a scam. They sell you one of those Viewmasters® you had as a kid with a pic of Helen Thomas naked in it.
Posted by: Mr. Slate at April 26, 2010 04:58 PM (00r+V)
Posted by: Sassypants at April 26, 2010 04:58 PM (W9i3l)
wowzers, see the mug on the chick in the story?
I've seen hookers with the 'hivs with better looking faces.
Posted by: Mr. Slate at April 26, 2010 04:59 PM (00r+V)
Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 26, 2010 05:01 PM (RZ8pf)
Posted by: Sassypants at April 26, 2010 05:01 PM (W9i3l)
If you have lots of sex, this problem kind of goes away all on its own. It also helps if you like the woman you are having sex with, and not just doing it for yourself.
If you are married, that second part is easier said than done and much more difficult than just getting another partner. Usually.
If you insist on experimenting with a control subject, do not announce the results of your wide ranging meta study to your original female partner, no matter how excited you are about the results.
I know these things, I have done research.
Posted by: Jim in San Diego at April 26, 2010 05:01 PM (F09Uo)
Posted by: Oilfield Dude at April 26, 2010 05:02 PM (Cx5cx)
Posted by: laceyunderalls at April 26, 2010 05:03 PM (nnLXA)
Names under consideration for U.S. distribution:
DickerMor
Way Past Midnight
Sir Pipe-alot
Long Train Runnin'
Posted by: Cicero at April 26, 2010 05:03 PM (QKKT0)
You want to last longer?
Just look at her face in the mirror.
Me? I want to be out from behind that thing as fast as possible!
Posted by: Barack Obama at April 26, 2010 05:04 PM (/oz4L)
Posted by: That fat guy with the acne scars who smells like Cheetos® at April 26, 2010 05:04 PM (UA4gE)
Posted by: Attila (Pillage Idiot) at April 26, 2010 05:04 PM (nvY6z)
Posted by: Sassypants at April 26, 2010 05:04 PM (W9i3l)
Posted by: Y-not at April 26, 2010 05:04 PM (Kn9r7)
But it is costly — at $116 for a pack of three Priligy 30 mg tablets.
Just as effective and cheaper would be a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20, the same juice that got Buck Wheat pregnant.
Posted by: Fish at April 26, 2010 05:05 PM (M5t+h)
Posted by: HeatherRadish at April 26, 2010 05:05 PM (OkT2m)
let me put it this way...
yes, you'll last a long time, i.e., you won't blow your nut. but probably won't feel like finishing, anyway, after a while.
Posted by: Mr. Slate at April 26, 2010 05:06 PM (00r+V)
Sassypants, I can't answer your question about how it'll make the guy last though. Maybe it works sort of like those "don't pee all the time" pills or something.
Also if it is an SSRI I'm curious how they managed it because don't most SSRIs have decreased sex drive as one of their possible side effects--at least that's what those announcer guys on television are always telling me as the happy people frolic playfully on my screen.
Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 26, 2010 05:06 PM (RZ8pf)
How did Bill and Hillary Clinton make it last?
For the two times a year Bill mounted the beast, they posted a picture of Chelsea over the headboard.
Posted by: Fish at April 26, 2010 05:07 PM (M5t+h)
FIF -- ahh, shit, there it goes again. BRB, bathroom break
Posted by: The War Between the Egomaniacal States at April 26, 2010 05:07 PM (vYPFy)
Let me know when they come up with a cuddle pill. get the eff off me--you're smothering me, I'm tired, and need sleep pill!!
/fixed....for me
Posted by: laceyunderalls at April 26, 2010 05:08 PM (nnLXA)
Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 26, 2010 05:09 PM (RZ8pf)
Sassimundo, the Viagra/Cialis class of drugs essentially adjust body blood pressure, giving the little helmet-headed warrior a little more vigor. They were originally tested as hypertension meds. Hence warnings about guys that take stuff to prevent onset of cardiac infarctions. Sudden drop in BP is a total buzzkill.
...
Or so I read somewhere.
I have no idea how this thing works, but I'm guessing desensitization. Kind of like thinking of the names of baseball players. Specifically the Mets.
Posted by: Dave in Texas at April 26, 2010 05:09 PM (Wh0W+)
Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 26, 2010 09:09 PM (RZ8pf)
Not entirely
Posted by: Jim in San Diego at April 26, 2010 05:09 PM (F09Uo)
Not necessarily. Effect on sex varies. "Getting it up but not being able to finish" is an SSRI side effect.
Posted by: HeatherRadish at April 26, 2010 05:09 PM (OkT2m)
Posted by: Sassypants at April 26, 2010 05:10 PM (W9i3l)
Most disturbing and a session ender in Texas is when the chick starts yelling Yeeeeeeee Haaaaaaaaaaaa followed by her spurs digging into your butt
.
Posted by: Fish at April 26, 2010 05:10 PM (M5t+h)
Posted by: JDW at April 26, 2010 05:11 PM (L+u9U)
Posted by: Y-not at April 26, 2010 09:04 PM (Kn9r7)
I guarantee you nobody's even doing research on that.
Where's the money?
Sure as sunrise guys will pay $$ to get/keep a boner but cuddling?
I don't see it.
Posted by: Deety at April 26, 2010 05:11 PM (aVzyR)
Just Rub a Little Coke on the Head of your Cock. Shit, you'll last all night at the Bath House...uh, I mean for your woman.
Posted by: Barack Obama at April 26, 2010 05:12 PM (/oz4L)
When it will make men three times as long, I'll buy it. Posted by: Cicero at April 26, 2010 08:54 PM (QKKT0)
Dude, 3 1/2 inches isn't something to brag about, just sayin.
Posted by: Old Hippie Vet at April 26, 2010 05:12 PM (3IZGh)
Posted by: robtr at April 26, 2010 05:12 PM (fwSHf)
boner pills are PDE-5 inhibitors, or vaso-dilators
They make your blood vessels dilate. Why do they have shitty side effects like bluish vision and light-headedness? That's simple: it doesn't target your penor, so all your blood vessels are being dilated!
Posted by: Mr. Slate at April 26, 2010 05:13 PM (00r+V)
Posted by: HeatherRadish at April 26, 2010 09:09 PM (OkT2m)
And when you combine SSRIs with Cialis you also turn into "Iron Man", but the whole exercise is then about as much fun as calisthenics, but you will leave a positive impression.
Posted by: Jim in San Diego at April 26, 2010 05:13 PM (F09Uo)
Posted by: Bill D. Cat at April 26, 2010 05:14 PM (a9UO0)
When all else fails, just order Sudden Boner Syndrome.
Posted by: Fish at April 26, 2010 05:14 PM (M5t+h)
Three times as long? Three frigging times as long? That's 9 hours. I'm not doing that.
How you doin?
Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 26, 2010 05:14 PM (RZ8pf)
Posted by: scuomeguy's wife at April 26, 2010 05:15 PM (/oz4L)
And when you combine SSRIs with Cialis you also turn into "Iron Man", but the whole exercise is then about as much fun as calisthenics, but you will leave a positive impression.
I'm don't know how other women feel, but even though it is fun to have a guy go for a while, eventually I do like them to finish. So I'm not quite sure I'm seeing the upside here.
Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 26, 2010 05:17 PM (RZ8pf)
Posted by: Sassypants at April 26, 2010 05:18 PM (W9i3l)
Huh. Might just turn out to be the "cuddle pill" Y-not was looking for.
You know, just to change things up when due to pharmacology the act itself becomes an anhedodic, soul crushing bore.
Posted by: Deety at April 26, 2010 05:19 PM (aVzyR)
I do like them to finish
Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 26, 2010 09:17 PM (RZ8pf)
Under the new Emily Post Miss Manners routine, simply tap out like the contestants in cage fighting. A few taps to the back means game over!
Posted by: Fish at April 26, 2010 05:20 PM (M5t+h)
Raise the bridge or lower the water?
My timing is just fine for me. How about a pill to speed up the female response cycle? I'm being serial.
Posted by: Count de Monet at April 26, 2010 05:20 PM (2g2ex)
It's like a Laffer curve. There's a sweet spot, then diminishing returns.
Hi, I'm a nerd.
Posted by: HeatherRadish at April 26, 2010 05:20 PM (OkT2m)
Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 26, 2010 09:17 PM (RZ8pf)
Yeah what happens to the guy when you take whatever it is they're selling and about half way through your partner goes screaming out of the house?
Posted by: robtr at April 26, 2010 05:20 PM (fwSHf)
Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 26, 2010 05:21 PM (RZ8pf)
So we've started the ONT early tonight??
Okay, I'll bite.
I couldn't participate in Boobquake today. Dress code adherence and what not. I'm sure the moronettes did their part though!
Posted by: laceyunderalls at April 26, 2010 05:22 PM (nnLXA)
Under the new Emily Post Miss Manners routine, simply tap out like the contestants in cage fighting. A few taps to the back means game over!
Second Rule of Fuck Club - There are no Tap-Outs.
Posted by: garrett at April 26, 2010 05:22 PM (/oz4L)
Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 26, 2010 05:23 PM (RZ8pf)
Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 26, 2010 09:21 PM (RZ8pf)
like a real hot low cut purple one.
Posted by: robtr at April 26, 2010 05:23 PM (fwSHf)
“I'm good at a lot of things. Sex being one of them - so I think I've certainly succeeded at that.”
-Jenna Jameson
Posted by: Fish at April 26, 2010 05:23 PM (M5t+h)
Posted by: Count de Monet at April 26, 2010 05:23 PM (2g2ex)
Posted by: Guy Fawkes at April 26, 2010 05:24 PM (7VvJB)
This is tying in nicely with our discussion of love-taps last evening.
I like when it all comes back around like a Seinfeld episode!
Posted by: laceyunderalls at April 26, 2010 05:24 PM (nnLXA)
Yeah what happens to the guy when you take whatever it is they're selling and about half way through your partner goes screaming out of the house?
Posted by: robtr at April 26, 2010 09:20 PM (fwSHf)
I really want you to complete that thought.
Posted by: Jim in San Diego at April 26, 2010 05:24 PM (F09Uo)
They also don't like, "Hey, can you move your head? The game's on."
Posted by: HeatherRadish at April 26, 2010 05:24 PM (OkT2m)
Third Rule of Fuck Club - "That Chicken" is not considered a valid participant.
Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at April 26, 2010 05:25 PM (/h1Zr)
Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 26, 2010 09:23 PM (RZ8pf)
You're so thoughtful and a note would be most appropriate, however, the story line should go to Hustler.
Posted by: Fish at April 26, 2010 05:25 PM (M5t+h)
Posted by: That fat guy with the acne scars who smells like Cheetos® at April 26, 2010 05:26 PM (UA4gE)
Not quite. Flowers or their equivalent are preferable, and as we've learned from that wonderful website SomeEcards.com, "Blow jobs are like flowers for men."
Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at April 26, 2010 05:27 PM (/h1Zr)
Posted by: Bill D. Cat at April 26, 2010 05:29 PM (a9UO0)
“You know, this President invaded a sovereign nation in defiance of the UN. He is basically a war criminal. Honestly. He should be tried at The Hague.”
-Rosie O'Donnell
Posted by: Fish at April 26, 2010 05:29 PM (M5t+h)
Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at April 26, 2010 09:25 PM (/h1Zr)
Dude, First Rule.
Actually, I'm not sure a First Rule has been established yet.
Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at April 26, 2010 05:29 PM (/h1Zr)
Posted by: Sassypants at April 26, 2010 05:30 PM (W9i3l)
And you would be correct, sir.
Posted by: ACCOUNTANT at April 26, 2010 05:30 PM (JfhXO)
Posted by: chemjeff at April 26, 2010 05:31 PM (Gk/wA)
Oh geez I shoulda known that this is where the AoSHQ squad has converged
Hey! I like knowing that around here in the end there will only be chaos degeneracy!
Posted by: laceyunderalls at April 26, 2010 05:34 PM (nnLXA)
Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 26, 2010 05:34 PM (RZ8pf)
Posted by: Ronster at April 26, 2010 05:35 PM (I+U8m)
Posted by: CAC at April 26, 2010 05:36 PM (Gr1V1)
Okay so Dhani Jones on Hannity.
Wow. Anyone watching this?
Holy shit. Beckel is drunk and Jones....well Jones...just watch it on replay.
Posted by: laceyunderalls at April 26, 2010 05:36 PM (nnLXA)
Posted by: Guy Fawkes at April 26, 2010 05:38 PM (7VvJB)
Posted by: Tabby's Cat at April 26, 2010 05:39 PM (NZDjd)
#114, noooo! Ill miss that completely oblivious Mr Bean-look a like Eurogeek who stutters out "it mad meh beeeggggaaaaaaaarr"
I crack up every time he pops up in the ads.
Posted by: CAC at April 26, 2010 05:42 PM (Gr1V1)
Posted by: Boner-Pill-Marketer Barbie at April 26, 2010 05:42 PM (vYPFy)
So we've started the ONT early tonight??
Okay, I'll bite.
I couldn't participate in Boobquake today. Dress code adherence and what not. I'm sure the moronettes did their part though!
Posted by: laceyunderallsHey lacey I did participate in boobquake today even took a pic for posterity and shit. Wore a tight pink t-shirt, put a sweater over it in the office though.
Posted by: mpfs at April 26, 2010 05:42 PM (QuP9W)
Posted by: That kid who sat behind you in the second grade smearing his boogers under his desk. at April 26, 2010 05:46 PM (UA4gE)
Posted by: Waterhouse at April 26, 2010 05:46 PM (/HOp+)
Posted by: AngelEm at April 26, 2010 05:48 PM (Aq93A)
Posted by: unknown jane at April 26, 2010 05:51 PM (5/yRG)
Posted by: Ace's liver at April 26, 2010 05:51 PM (XIXhw)
I guess that works if you have an appointment at the whore house.
Who knows they are going to score 1-3 hours before? I mean if you screwing a woman there is no chance you know that early.
Posted by: Kemp at April 26, 2010 05:52 PM (2+9Yx)
Posted by: Count de Monet at April 26, 2010 05:53 PM (2g2ex)
Oh so that was YOU?
Posted by: mpfs at April 26, 2010 05:57 PM (QuP9W)
What?
Posted by: Benson at April 26, 2010 05:59 PM (qzcNU)
Posted by: Conservative Phantom at April 26, 2010 06:07 PM (RNRhC)
Posted by: Conservative Phantom at April 26, 2010 06:11 PM (RNRhC)
Oh so that was YOU?
Posted by: mpfs at April 26, 2010 09:57 PM (QuP9W)
Yeppers. That guy.
Posted by: Count de Monet at April 26, 2010 06:13 PM (2g2ex)
I could wind up looking like a fiddler crab.
Posted by: YIKES! at April 26, 2010 06:37 PM (E5V01)
Posted by: ParisParamus at April 26, 2010 06:44 PM (Qh7hs)
Posted by: anon at April 26, 2010 06:48 PM (zFIuF)
Posted by: profligatewaste at April 26, 2010 06:50 PM (b3rrc)
Posted by: Christopher Taylor at April 26, 2010 06:55 PM (PQY7w)
Posted by: Tiger Woods at April 26, 2010 06:59 PM (Bgher)
Posted by: Tiger Woods at April 26, 2010 07:02 PM (Bgher)
Posted by: Ernest P. Worrell at April 26, 2010 07:08 PM (Bgher)
Posted by: SaintGeorgeGentile at April 26, 2010 07:36 PM (/nNkJ)
If SSRI's don't do the trick, just double-wrap it with 2 condoms like they do as some strip joints when you visit the VIP room with one of the girls.
If that doesn't work, while in the act, just go through the baseball standings in the American League, then the National League etc. See if you can name the starting line-up of your favourite team. Or think about taking out the garbage.
Lastly, you can try printing out a high-resolution photo off the internet of a naked 400-pound or more BBW. Attach it to the headboard just above your partner and stare at it face to face as you go about your activities - that ought to do it.
Posted by: Mike at April 26, 2010 07:45 PM (k0Df8)
Posted by: Christopher Taylor at April 26, 2010 08:03 PM (PQY7w)
Posted by: nerdygirl at April 26, 2010 08:27 PM (4Qyq7)
Posted by: jlfintx at April 26, 2010 08:59 PM (Wnk4X)
Every woman over 35 winces at the term "staying power".
The original viagra commercial sending bigguy off to the doc if it lasts more than 4 hours? SCREAMING. Women. all over America.
I say get over your guilt. Totally misplaced. Some of us be happy with rapid fire. Veddy happy. And still love you oh so very much. Very misplaced worries.
Posted by: Derak at April 26, 2010 09:02 PM (b+cZe)
I didn't know they were dating. And, more topically, did they use this new "wonder drug"?
Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at April 26, 2010 09:07 PM (swuwV)
Posted by: woozle at April 26, 2010 09:08 PM (ZrPng)
Posted by: Dr. Ruth at April 26, 2010 10:35 PM (GBwaM)
Posted by: Dash Riprock at April 27, 2010 04:14 AM (ewicX)
>> I happen to have a lady right here with me that will sign an affidavit to 6 minutes night after night.
Thehell are you, some kinda alien?
Posted by: Dave in Texas at April 27, 2010 06:31 AM (WvXvd)
Posted by: Lee at April 27, 2010 07:23 AM (zF8wD)
There is already over-the-counter remedies - Sudafed, Benadryl, and other antihistamines.
They are cheap and effective too. It you read the possible side effects, delayed sexual consumation is fairly common.
Think back on the times when you had a cold or allergies and were taking antihistamines and boning. Bet you had some trouble getting off.
Just some advice from a guy who wears his lady (10 years younger) out regularly.
Posted by: Whitehall at April 27, 2010 09:56 AM (htrmr)
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