Ace of Spades HQ

September 03, 2010

Sometimes it's best to simply remain where you are
— Genghis

Looks like the projected four-month-long rescue effort of the trapped Chilean miners is about to turn into a reality teevee show. Per The Sydney Morning Herald:

"One of the trapped Chilean miners is going to have some explaining to do after his wife ran into his mistress at the mine's entrance.
Britain's Sun newspaper reports the wife of Yonni Barrios was stunned and upset to find his girlfriend also conducting a vigil for him."

Upon hearing this news, Mr. Barrios issued the following statement:

"Really, now that I think about it, there's really no need for any kind of rescue. In fact, it's quite comfortable down here. Yep, I could stay down here as long as possible. No real need to come up to the surface, is there?"

Posted by: Genghis at 01:53 AM | Comments (56)
Post contains 146 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Think positive. They bond Your surface Threesome.

Posted by: Knuckle dragging troglodyte at September 03, 2010 01:58 AM (dNbGn)

2 Keep digging.
Set a course for China.

Posted by: Mr. Dave at September 03, 2010 02:17 AM (pcJe3)

3 Louks like ju got some 'splanning to do, mang!

Posted by: Ricky Ricardo at September 03, 2010 02:24 AM (5qJM5)

4 Without pictures of the girls this post is useless.

Posted by: JavaJoe at September 03, 2010 02:38 AM (e9JZd)

5 1 Think positive. They're twins separated at birth They bond You surface Threesome.

Posted by: Call me "Sunny" at September 03, 2010 02:46 AM (5Nz2i)

6 Actually, this post was useless in its conception. Is there any known way to attach a breathalyzer to my keyboard?

Posted by: genghis at September 03, 2010 02:50 AM (1XErj)

7 Oh, I got plenty of nothin', and nothin's plenty for me I got the sun in the mornin' and the moon at night ... Ma! Ma!

Posted by: Zombie Johnny LaRue on Christmas Eve "Street Beef" at September 03, 2010 02:52 AM (5Nz2i)

8 Don't it?

Posted by: My tag looks suspiciously like "Nazi" at September 03, 2010 02:54 AM (5Nz2i)

9 What a revoltin' development this is!

Posted by: Yonni Barrios at September 03, 2010 02:57 AM (kJXs1)

10 2 Keep digging.
Set a course for China.

Emulate the BO economic model?

Posted by: pep at September 03, 2010 02:58 AM (YXmuI)

11 Posted by: The Precedent at September 03, 2010 06:53 AM (IhHdM) Hey! There's that Dinner Jacket Guy! You know ... uh, uh, uh ... you know, he co-starred in that Jimmuh Carter production of "I Was a Self-Imposed Hostage while Zombie Ted Kennedy Smacked Me Around" in 1980 ... Mah, Mah, Mah ... shit, his name's right on the tip of my tongue!

Posted by: Guy who's always got the name on the tip of his tongue at September 03, 2010 03:04 AM (5Nz2i)

Thanks for the help. Really I'm okay right here. No really, no problem. It's okay, I needed a small vacation....

..to get my story straight.

I love people. You can't make this shit up.

Posted by: JR at September 03, 2010 03:21 AM (ZH8bj)

13 Bad form by the mistress - she must be young and impetuous - any pics?

Posted by: Jean at September 03, 2010 03:22 AM (CPefM)

14 WeaselZippers has story up on the first tell all book by a Obama insider - the car guy.

Posted by: Jean at September 03, 2010 03:24 AM (CPefM)

15 Then we went into discussion about how many people would be willing to shell out about 500 bucks for such an item and we kinda lost interest at that point. You're doing it wrong.

Posted by: alexthedude at September 03, 2010 03:28 AM (9G1NW)

16 If this guy has 2 women on his hands then I am pretty sure he has urgent personal reasons he needs to resurface. Unless, that is, he and some of his compatriots are indiscriminate in their... rambunctious affinities.

Posted by: alexthedude at September 03, 2010 03:31 AM (9G1NW)

17 I hope a 2nd mistress shows up. Along with a herd of sheep, a blowup doll, his wife's grandmother & Felipe the town twink.

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at September 03, 2010 03:36 AM (HaYO4)

18 Bad form by the mistress - she must be young and impetuous - any pics? Posted by: Jean at September 03, 2010 07:22 AM (CPefM) There was a pic of both somewhere the other day. Lets just say neither is playboy material

Posted by: nevergiveup at September 03, 2010 04:03 AM (0GFWk)

19 Ha! Guy on the radio just said "Now he's got three holes to worry about".

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at September 03, 2010 04:06 AM (HaYO4)

20 ... but I know Muslims discovered them all! Posted by: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad at September 03, 2010 07:11 AM (IhHdM) Fuzzy-wuzzy Muzzies! Is there anything they haven't done better or first?

Posted by: Muzzball at September 03, 2010 04:20 AM (qj1M0)

21 OT: Knowing the one-termer, he might actually do it:

Minister of State for Industries Ayatullah Durrani, who belongs to the ruling Pakistan PeopleÂ’Â’s Party, said the upcoming Eid-ul-Fitr festival, expected to be observed on September 11, would be a Â“golden opportunityÂ” for Obama to offer Eid prayers and declare himself the leader of all Muslims.

http://tinyurl.com/29nd4x3

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 04:25 AM (U/eda)

22 Posted by: Jean at September 03, 2010 07:24 AM (CPefM) Karzai the Kar Guy?

Posted by: Clownless (and lovin' it)! at September 03, 2010 04:26 AM (qj1M0)

23
Re: 24
Might not be a bad idea at all- after declaring himself the "Leader of All Muslims" he could then declare that, in his new capacity, he unconditionally surrenders to the United States and the War on Terror will be over.

Then he could turn around to his liberal/progressive base and take credit for being the one who "Ended the War".

Because, as a matter of fact that seems to escape all moonbats, wars only end when one of the parties SURRENDERS!

Posted by: Nighhawk at September 03, 2010 04:30 AM (OtQXp)

24 Oh yay...recovery summer is a bust.

Unemployment rate climbs to 9.6 percent; private companies added 67,000 workers in August.

Posted by: Tami at September 03, 2010 04:39 AM (VuLos)

25 Great. Any way they could drop Paris Hilton in there, in time to do the entire mining crew before rescue? She might even try her hand at recreating that pig scene...

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 04:41 AM (tJjm/)

26

27 Oh yay...recovery summer is a bust.

Unemployment rate climbs to 9.6 percent; private companies added 67,000 workers in August.

Posted by: Tami at September 03, 2010 08:39 AM (VuLos)

Headline at Drudge, nowhere on the Google news page. Cocksuckers.

Posted by: Ed Anger at September 03, 2010 04:42 AM (7+pP9)

27
Unemployment rate climbs to 9.6 percent; private companies added 67,000 workers in August.

Everything that's DOOOOWWWWNNNN is UUUUUUUP....

Posted by: An Al Gore Blast from the Past at September 03, 2010 04:42 AM (MMC8r)

28 "Recovery Summer" is looking more and more like one big, long "Lost Weekend".

Posted by: Nighhawk at September 03, 2010 04:44 AM (OtQXp)

29 "Recovery Summer" is looking more and more like one big, long "Lost Weekend".

Posted by: Nighhawk at September 03, 2010 08:44 AM (OtQXp)

I think it's more like Weekend at Bernie's.

Posted by: Tami at September 03, 2010 04:49 AM (VuLos)

I think it's more like Weekend at Bernie's.

Posted by: Tami at September 03, 2010 08:49 AM (VuLos)

Actually that's a pretty good metaphor for the whole administration!

Posted by: Nighhawk at September 03, 2010 04:50 AM (OtQXp)

1 Think positive.

They bond
Your [sic] surface
Threesome.

Yeah, the threesome was my initial thought when I saw this yesterday.

Posted by: Truman North at September 03, 2010 04:51 AM (HLGCA)

32 As that great sage, Homer Simpson, would put it:

D'OH!!!!!

Posted by: DarkLordOfTheIntarWebs at September 03, 2010 05:00 AM (IkEhE)

33 Eugene Robinson explains in to day's Washington Post how the voters are throwing a temper tantrum. Apparently, they were really smart 2 years ago and are now stupid. They are planning to vote republican, which, he says poll lower than dems (eugene has only a nodding aquaintance with the truth). Yeah, eugene, the entire nation is having a hissy fit for no reason. Asswipe.

Posted by: dagny at September 03, 2010 05:02 AM (5iZvt)

34 Yea, but the only 3somes that make sense are 2 guys and 1 girl.

Posted by: EZB at September 03, 2010 05:03 AM (fa9yq)

"Recovery Summer" is looking more and more like one big, long "Lost Weekend".

Or Ferris Bueler's Day Off without the happy ending or Titanic.

Posted by: dagny at September 03, 2010 05:04 AM (5iZvt)

36 Hey, It's South America. EVERYONE has a mistress. She'll move in.

The president of Brazil was on the front page of a newspaper a few years ago sitting next to a babe at carnival that didn't have any underwear on!

Full cooter shot on the newspaper's front page!

Posted by: Kemp at September 03, 2010 05:06 AM (AQxTm)

37 actual headline:
Phlyin' Flugtag team just can't get a head

Posted by: Truman North at September 03, 2010 05:13 AM (HLGCA)

38 You know who benefits this most? Mark Sanford.

Posted by: Hugh Hewitt at September 03, 2010 05:14 AM (zgZzy)

39 To our wives and girlfriends. May they never meet. Old toast.

Posted by: PKO Strany at September 03, 2010 05:14 AM (RJOgX)

Phlyin' Flugtag team just can't get a head

They should have called me to help out.

Posted by: Paris Hilton at September 03, 2010 05:15 AM (zgZzy)

41 @37: You are clearly an admirer of men

Posted by: Truman North at September 03, 2010 05:15 AM (HLGCA)

42 Man. I got the walkin' shakes and red heat for some cat filters.

Posted by: maddogg at September 03, 2010 05:17 AM (OlN4e)

43 45 I mean, seriously! Who wants an unfiltered cat? Those are just nasty...

Posted by: DarkLordOfTheIntarWebs at September 03, 2010 05:25 AM (IkEhE)

44 They meet They bond They dump him for a turkey baster

Posted by: John P. Squibob at September 03, 2010 05:27 AM (/U/Mr)

45 Here's to our wives and the women we love...

...may they never meet.

Posted by: Winston Churchill at September 03, 2010 05:47 AM (J939Q)

46 The pathetic thing is that both the wife and the mistress have declared their unshakable fidelity to this guy. They're actually going to "fight" over this loser.

Posted by: Y-not at September 03, 2010 05:59 AM (osFsP)

47 Billy Wilder once made a film called "Ace in the Hole" about a very similar event.

While it's a masterpiece of a film, it didn't turn out too well for the characters.

Bonus: it has "Ace" in the title.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at September 03, 2010 06:36 AM (eNxMU)

Clearly they haven't run out of places to take a dump yet.

Posted by: Speller at September 03, 2010 06:55 AM (qaOKJ)

Hah!

Posted by: rdbrewer at September 03, 2010 07:15 AM (FviXk)

Here's a thought -

Guy comes up. Sees his wife and mistress. Says "oh, shit. That's my wife. And my mistress!"

Guy next to him says, "what a coincidence! Mine, too!"

Thank you, thank you. Tip your waiters and waitresses. Hey, Bud tallboys two for a buck for the next twenty minutes.

Star Wars. . .those fabulous Starrrr Warrrrs. . . . .!!!

Posted by: Christopher at September 03, 2010 07:23 AM (zF6Iw)

51 Someone needs to write a handbook for mistresses on proper decorum and practices.

Posted by: Sam at September 03, 2010 07:25 AM (Cxsey)

So his wife has until Christmans to stew over how angry she is at him.

And to plot her revenge.

Yikes.

Posted by: Warden at September 03, 2010 07:26 AM (fE6tn)

...

I got nothin'.

Posted by: Cincinnatus at September 03, 2010 09:43 AM (8AyDn)

54 The longer those two communicate, the more likely it becomes that he's the enemy and they're just girls who got duped by the same scumbag. There's no winning scenario here for this guy - nor should there be.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 03, 2010 10:12 AM (61b7k)

55 We can deliver flowers,cakes,chocolates and gift items to over 32 countries worldwide on the same day. Our wide network of florists, quality assurance and timely delivery ensure that our customers are satisfied. Having serviced over a million customers worldwide, our company gives a customer the power to express their emotions through flowers.

Posted by: Raman Aurora at December 07, 2010 05:29 AM (MmKDx)

56 purple bedding encrusted broach and dainty Bedding Sets toddler bedding Avoid hairspray mousse.

Posted by: bed sheets at February 20, 2011 06:02 PM (Y0s57)

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