Ace of Spades HQ

January 27, 2010

State Of The Union Warm Up Thread
— DrewM

I love this shit so much. It's like Guys Night Out for my inner political geek.

Don't forget the live blog tonight!

Topic of discussion...how will Obama describe the State of the Union?

My guess...."The State of the Union is strong but challenged".

To maximize my enjoyment, I'll be watching (actually I am now) MSNBC. This is the first speech I can't guarantee Tingles and Olby will love.

Did I mention the live blog?

Posted by: DrewM at 03:25 PM | Comments (108)
Post contains 88 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Hey First!

Posted by: sonnyspats at January 27, 2010 03:27 PM (68tQb)

2 Obamao has so jumped the shark that I'm just burned out on him. I'm going out for Thai instead (the food, not a woman).

Posted by: ParisParamus at January 27, 2010 03:28 PM (s2TC6)

3 I think he will try to get his post partisan unity schtick mojo back... a lot of 'come together' 'join hands' 'renew' reforge' etc etc

like Come Together by the Beatles, lol

I would be impressed by a payroll tax holiday for workers and employers, that would move the needle....

Posted by: ginaswo/MiM at January 27, 2010 03:28 PM (iX2MM)

4 Firm and round. Oh, State of the Union....sorry.

Posted by: mare at January 27, 2010 03:28 PM (X1fsj)

5 Let me be clear, I rule, Bush drools. Any problems that you are facing today are the fault of Bush. The reason they are not 200000 times worse is because of me spending your money on random shit. That is all. Now let me give a shot out to Chief Nagamunda!

Posted by: Barack at January 27, 2010 03:28 PM (ferUU)

6 The State of the Union was inherited.

Posted by: wiserbud at January 27, 2010 03:29 PM (EW49d)

7 This gonna be liveblogged? I hadn't heard

Posted by: beedubya at January 27, 2010 03:29 PM (AnTyA)

8 4. Yeah its easy to get your blogs and pron mixed up with vista.

Posted by: sonnyspats at January 27, 2010 03:30 PM (68tQb)

9 I'm so excited I licked my own balls. Why? Because I can!

Posted by: Family Dog at January 27, 2010 03:30 PM (3F+9y)

10 I have my pants off already.

Posted by: Chris Matthews at January 27, 2010 03:30 PM (CZI81)

11 Got my 4-pack of Bartles and Jaymes Mango-Kiwi wine coolers...and am ready to rip

Posted by: beedubya at January 27, 2010 03:30 PM (AnTyA)

12 Is he going to have music to go with that shuck and jive act ....

How do you trust a serial LIAR? Trust is not a renewable resource.

Posted by: bill-tb at January 27, 2010 03:31 PM (y+QfZ)

13 Topic of discussion...how will Obama describe the State of the Union?

"I"

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at January 27, 2010 03:31 PM (CZI81)

14 dont know why he is even giving this speech, its not like he follows any of the other protocols/traditions...

Posted by: trailortrash at January 27, 2010 03:31 PM (2Z+7j)

15 Ok if I empudden my testes?

Posted by: beedubya at January 27, 2010 03:31 PM (AnTyA)

16 To maximize my enjoyment, I'll be watching (actually I am now) MSNBC. You have unusual taste in fluffers, fella.

Posted by: The Undead at January 27, 2010 03:31 PM (AZGON)

17 I can't watch it. I can't listen to him for 30 seconds let alone a full hour or more. Which sucks cause I really wanted to win the SOTU Barack Bingo game....

Posted by: PAgirlinNC at January 27, 2010 03:31 PM (7xrnW)

I am ready to rock out with my cock out!!!

Posted by: Rachel Maddow at January 27, 2010 03:32 PM (EW49d)

19 Pre-emptive fact check on Obama's State of the Union http://bit.ly/deQ88M

Posted by: 4tehlulz at January 27, 2010 03:32 PM (9medV)

20 Glad you are taking this hit for us Drew.I'll check in on the liveblog while surfing for pron.

Posted by: steevy at January 27, 2010 03:32 PM (wwVQp)

21 Is the boy going to dance? I was told he was going to dance.

Posted by: Harry Reid at January 27, 2010 03:32 PM (CZI81)

22 Sock, you're messing up my pudding.

Posted by: George Orwell at January 27, 2010 03:32 PM (AZGON)

23
Does anybody know where they'll be live blogging the SOTU?

Posted by: bulwark at January 27, 2010 03:33 PM (MdzCh)

24 I cook and then I chill , ahhhhh yeah .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at January 27, 2010 03:33 PM (a9UO0)

25 As I've said before, let me be clear, I have been fighting the policies of the last decade and the previous administrations, now I will fight for you! But only if you promise you will vote democrat for the rest of your days.

I think that about covers it. Gotta go, getting up early to go golfing tomorrow.

Posted by: BHO at January 27, 2010 03:34 PM (iGCmo)

26 Word on the street is that the words "squirrel innards" are far more likely in this speech than the words "health care".

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at January 27, 2010 03:34 PM (CZI81)

27 Probably a stupid question, but why is the liveblogging so much more exciting to morons than a regular comment thread? I truly can't figure it out.

Posted by: Peaches at January 27, 2010 03:34 PM (9Wv2j)

28 Sock, you're messing up my pudding.

U R doing it wrong.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at January 27, 2010 03:34 PM (CZI81)

29 Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm president Obama and I'm here this evening to tell you all, I'm a fuck up! Have a pleasant evening, knowing that I'll be around for the next 3 years, putting my 'vast executive experience' to work for me..er you!"

Posted by: GarandFan at January 27, 2010 03:35 PM (ZQBnQ)

30 The State of the Union is...
...B+

Posted by: Methos at January 27, 2010 03:35 PM (Xsi7M)

31 100 uses of the word "I" 50 different uses for our money that haven't been mentioned before 20 new "tax cuts" or incentives that are nothing more than gimmicks 15 thank you's to the troops 10 uses of variations of "failed policies of the past 8 years" or "Bush sucks" 10 nods to lack of "bipartisanship" being blamed on those pesky Republicans 1 tiny shout out to homosexuals by mentioning DADT And that's a wrap

Posted by: Mr. Pink at January 27, 2010 03:35 PM (ferUU)

32 Probably a stupid question, but why is the liveblogging so much more exciting to morons than a regular comment thread? I truly can't figure it out.

Posted by: Peaches at January 27, 2010 07:34 PM (9Wv2j)

The same reason we pay 6.99 a minute for the live Russian girls rather than just watch the free movies.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at January 27, 2010 03:35 PM (CZI81)

33 Who is the opening act? Did Barry get the puppets? How many times have I told you, it's "Barack, and puppet show," not the other way around.

Posted by: George Orwell at January 27, 2010 03:36 PM (AZGON)

34 I'll give the maximum donation allowed by law to the member of congress who yells, "You Lie".

Posted by: bobbyz at January 27, 2010 03:36 PM (pbbjE)

35 Hey...DrewM, baby I got ya money.

Posted by: One of Your Bitches at January 27, 2010 03:36 PM (muUqs)

36 He'll describe the SOTU as "soft and yielding."

Posted by: conscious and ready to go at January 27, 2010 03:36 PM (Vu6sl)

37 damn my new governor is badass.
cant wait to hear him give the repub response.

Posted by: trailortrash at January 27, 2010 03:36 PM (2Z+7j)

38 Yup, I'm getting hammered tonight. Take a drink every time he lies. It's the new power-hour.

Posted by: yambles at January 27, 2010 03:37 PM (rxaXW)

39 He'll describe the SOTU as "soft and yielding."

Like pudding. Mmmmm. Pudding....

Posted by: The Morgenholz Twins at January 27, 2010 03:37 PM (CZI81)

40 Sigh. I'm so not looking forward to this debacle this evening.

Posted by: TOTUS at January 27, 2010 03:38 PM (554T5)

41 I am using my new iPad for this event. Does anyone have any feminine napkin jokes while I wait?

Posted by: Woz at January 27, 2010 03:38 PM (3F+9y)

34 I'll give the maximum donation allowed by law to the member of congress who yells, "You Lie".

_______

I'm going to say that it is not who - it is how many.

Posted by: PAgirlinNC at January 27, 2010 03:38 PM (7xrnW)

43 What's the over/under for the ratings on this turd? Wasn't he trending down with every tv takeover?

Posted by: Peaches at January 27, 2010 03:38 PM (9Wv2j)

44 I would pay 100 bucks for one Republican member of congress to start laughing as loud as he could and leave the room out of breath the minute Obama mentions cutting the deficit.

Posted by: Mr. Pink at January 27, 2010 03:38 PM (ferUU)

45 Sorry, I didn't see any Skittle Shittin' Unicorns in the first year so I'll say the SOTU should at least address that. Seriously, we got the Chia Obama but no Skittle Shittin' Unicorn.

Posted by: CDR M at January 27, 2010 03:38 PM (cvmTR)

46 damn my new governor is badass.
cant wait to hear him give the repub response.

Posted by: trailortrash at January 27, 2010 07:36 PM (2Z+7j)

Is he as baddass as my new senator?

Posted by: loppyd at January 27, 2010 03:39 PM (pGELo)

47 Does anyone have any feminine napkin jokes while I wait?

Not funny.

Posted by: Basically any woman present at the SOTU tonight at January 27, 2010 03:39 PM (CZI81)

48 My forecast is "Condescension With A High Chance Of Bullshit".

Posted by: Zimriel at January 27, 2010 03:39 PM (+Hbe7)

49 Shouldn't the call it the State Of The Union As Told By The Teleprompter?

Posted by: CDR M at January 27, 2010 03:39 PM (cvmTR)

50 "Sigh. I'm so not looking forward to this debacle this evening."

Say wha!?!? It be all yo fault. What u talkin bout?

Posted by: FLOTUS at January 27, 2010 03:39 PM (3F+9y)

51 Trailortrash - who's your guv? I haven't been keeping up on whose giving the R response.

Posted by: Cheri at January 27, 2010 03:40 PM (llSaz)

52 My forecast is "Condescension With A High Chance Of Bullshit".

Courageous, my friend. I mean that.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at January 27, 2010 03:40 PM (CZI81)

53
prediction: Obama will strike the right tone, tonight

Also: Best. SOTU. Ever.

Posted by: This is boner at January 27, 2010 03:40 PM (k9Ti8)

The stimulus I signed has pulled us back from the brink of disaster, but there is still hard work to be done.

People are hurting and angry over what's happened over the last eight years. I understand their frustration at the partisan bickering in Washington. As I've said before, the time for politics as usual is over. There must be a new tone in Washington.

Posted by: Warden at January 27, 2010 03:41 PM (QoR4a)

55 I don't care what he says. I just hope the camera angle shows off those wicked creases in his pants.

Posted by: David Brooks at January 27, 2010 03:41 PM (QKKT0)

56 McDonnell is giving the response. New gov of VA.

Posted by: Mr. Pink at January 27, 2010 03:41 PM (1hhNr)

57 Cheri, it's the newly minted Governor McDonnell of Virginia (R).

Posted by: Peaches at January 27, 2010 03:41 PM (9Wv2j)

58 I think I heard that he'll say that the people of Massachusetts acted stupidly.

Posted by: CDR M at January 27, 2010 03:41 PM (cvmTR)

59 Glad you are taking this hit for us Drew.

Absolutely; I don't know how anybody can stand to watch or hear the jugeared fuck. I don't even think excessive drinking could make that palatable.

Posted by: Captain Hate at January 27, 2010 03:41 PM (mnCO0)

"why is the liveblogging so much more exciting to morons than a regular comment thread? "

I'm with you. Brown's money bomb night was a hoot.

Posted by: MDr VB1.0 CS1st at January 27, 2010 03:41 PM (ucq49)

61 48 Does anyone have any feminine napkin jokes while I wait?

Perhaps the i-PAD?

Posted by: CDR M at January 27, 2010 03:42 PM (cvmTR)

62 #52
Bob Mcdonald.
http://tinyurl.com/yd2vjgf

Posted by: trailortrash at January 27, 2010 03:42 PM (2Z+7j)

63 McDonnell is giving the response. New gov of VA.

Posted by: Mr. Pink at January 27, 2010 07:41 PM (1hhNr)

Heard he is going to be speaking to actual humans - good move, if you ask me. Less hostage video-ish.

Posted by: loppyd at January 27, 2010 03:42 PM (pGELo)

64 if you take a sip every time Barney Fife references himself, you should be unconscious by the halfway point, thereby sparing yourself the trauma of hearing the whole wretched sack of lies and bullshit.

if you try this with shots, you'll either be dead or at the ER, which, with Obamacare, will be the same thing!

Cheers!

Posted by: redc1c4 at January 27, 2010 03:42 PM (d1FhN)

65 I'm only going to have it on for mockery.

Posted by: Peaches at January 27, 2010 03:42 PM (9Wv2j)

66 My junk gives better speeches, and pleasure.

Posted by: Dick Cheney at January 27, 2010 03:42 PM (muUqs)

67 They will love it. And proclaim that this speech is what will put Obama back on track. Perhaps they'll even work in some oblique racial (but positive!) reference to describe it, like "How Obama Got His Groove Back" or something like that.

Posted by: Tom in Korea at January 27, 2010 03:43 PM (nS7nk)

68 The state of the union is unprecedented!

Posted by: BHO at January 27, 2010 03:43 PM (T0NGe)

69 My junk has a lace wig.

Posted by: Dick Cheney at January 27, 2010 03:43 PM (muUqs)

70 wanna bet he talks about Haiti for at least 1/2 to give impression that things aint so bad under him?

Posted by: ron dorque at January 27, 2010 03:44 PM (CUdme)

71 The State of the Union is: warm, and coated with instant pudding.

Posted by: mr.frakypants at January 27, 2010 03:44 PM (pffBj)

72 Would love to see all the repubs wear a GM truck pin next to their lapel flag pin. Camera's would love it.

Posted by: NY Betsy Rose at January 27, 2010 03:45 PM (7ull1)

73 I am so worried about Obama, he didn't eat his pie today. I believe the non-eating of his pie may percipitate a constitutional crisis of some sort because otherwise why would a news anchor feel the need to inform her viewers of it?

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at January 27, 2010 03:45 PM (RZ8pf)

74 I'm not a drinker, but I would gladly watch the SOTU with a slightly imbibed S.E. Cupp sitting on my lap.

See morons? I don't even have to be drunk to think up stupid, fantastical crap like this.

Posted by: Lincoln Adams at January 27, 2010 03:47 PM (gLNLT)

I heard that Obama was going to push in the SOTU for a new energy program based on Unobtanium....creating millions of new "blue jobs"! Thereby saving Gia.

Oh, rapture!

Posted by: proudvastwingconspirator at January 27, 2010 03:48 PM (waiSQ)

76 Unobtanium

UnObamanum

Posted by: ParisParamus at January 27, 2010 03:49 PM (s2TC6)

77 I'm considering purchasing a lace wig but that whole Indian hair thing gives me the heebie-jeebies. I mean, do the Indians give up the hair voluntarily? On one hand I want to show my individuality and my scalp would definitely enjoy good breath, but on the other hand I don't want to support coercive scalping in some Third World shithole.

Posted by: Conscientious American Lace Wig Consumer at January 27, 2010 03:49 PM (QKKT0)

78 Tonight, I will single handedly wipe out the Klingons.

Posted by: President Tuvok at January 27, 2010 03:50 PM (554T5)

79 Why does Obama hate pie and, therefore, America?

Posted by: Dr. Spank at January 27, 2010 03:50 PM (muUqs)

80 What time is this shit sandwich going to be served?

Posted by: Tami at January 27, 2010 03:51 PM (VuLos)

81 Obama's description of the SOTU = "I won!" Go Bob Go and do Virginia proud.

Posted by: Trish at January 27, 2010 03:51 PM (yqhkv)

82 My plan is to drink every time he insults any american or group of americans. This would include bankers, "special interests", the rich, and even George W. Bush. I don't have to be up til noon, may as well go big.

Posted by: ramms at January 27, 2010 03:51 PM (2ghqI)

83 Some say that the solution to the unprecedented problems I have inherited is to do nothing. This is a false choice.

Posted by: A Balrog of Morgoth at January 27, 2010 03:51 PM (wgLRl)

84 I mean, do the Indians give up the hair voluntarily? On one hand I want to show my individuality and my scalp would definitely enjoy good breath, but on the other hand I don't want to support coercive scalping in some Third World shithole.

Eat your tofu, you unAmerican commie whore!!!!!!

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at January 27, 2010 03:52 PM (CZI81)

if you take a sip every time Barney Fife references himself, you should be unconscious by the halfway point

When you wake up in the morning and want to get the buzz back, drink every time someone uses the words "tired" "annoyed" "forceful" etc. to describe his pissy attitude.

Posted by: Mama AJ at January 27, 2010 03:52 PM (Be4xl)

I'm rocking tonight. Yes, I know, you are all surprised.

Hmmmmm, I wonder if Gus is rocking tonight? You say,

Yes. Small gig, nice pay, I'm playing the 1985 Tele hollowbody. first.

Swamp-ash, Cherry red. Then when I get home. I cannot wait to see how long the Bullshit the Union thread is.

Guar-an-fucking-ty that Opie takes RESPONSIBILITY because HE is the PRESIDENT of the UNITED STATES. He will keep us safe, make us rich all as he rides UNICORN 1 about the country SHITTING SKITTLES for all the little children.
Pelosi will be wearing a MAYAN DEATH MASK and Biden will have his bleached teeth newly bleached for the occasion. I'm sure a trip to the tanning salon was ordered too.

Posted by: gus at January 27, 2010 03:53 PM (Vqruj)

87 Barry will blame the Republicans for giving his party control of both Chamber of Congress, get really mad, turn green and swell up like Lou Ferrigno. Except it won't be muscles. The Incredible Edema.

Posted by: George Orwell at January 27, 2010 03:54 PM (AZGON)

88 why would i want to watch the empty suit when i can be knee deep in stupidity here in Moronland? any chance we could get Purple Avenger to toss in another 'diamonds in uranus' post to get the critical mass of moronity in place early on?

Posted by: KilltheHippies at January 27, 2010 03:54 PM (94ai5)

89
>>my 'vast executive experience' to work for me..er you!"

<<insert lame duck joke here>>

Obama went duck hunting in Alaska.

He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into Sarah Palin's field on the other side of her fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence, Sarah drove up on her tractor and asked him what he was doing.

Obama responded, 'I shot a duck and it fell onto this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it.'

Palin replied, 'This is my property, and you are not coming over here.'

The indignant Obama said, 'If you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own.'

Palin smiled and said, 'Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes here. We settle small disagreements with the 'Three Kick Rule.'

Obama asked, 'What is the 'Three Kick Rule?'

Sarah Palin replied, 'Well, because the dispute occurs on my land , I get to go first .''I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up.'

Obama quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take a woman at this game. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

Sarah slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the Obama. Her first kick planted the toe of her steel toed work boot into Obama's groin and dropped him to his knees.

Her second kick to the midriff sent the Obama's last meal gushing from his mouth.

Obama was on all fours when her third kick to his rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

He summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, 'Okay, Now it's my turn.'

Palin smiled and said , 'Na, I give up. You can have the duck.'

Experience wins again.

Posted by: sickinmass at January 27, 2010 03:55 PM (Dxfei)

Mama AJ, I've got a plan. I shall Tivo Deputy Fifes speech, then I'll come here and see if anyone can still type. If everyone is shit faced, I'll grab a case of Cold XYZ and start building a can pyramid to heaven as I watch the replay.

Posted by: gus at January 27, 2010 03:55 PM (Vqruj)

I wonder how she'll report SOTU tomorrow?

The New One is the shimmering vessel that we are pouring all our hopes and dreams into after the grave disappointment of the Last One, Barack Obama.

MoDo

Posted by: MDr VB1.0 CS1st at January 27, 2010 03:57 PM (ucq49)

92 I had to work Sunday so I'm gonna watch the Colts-Jets game that the lovely wife recorded for me.

And I already know the score of both the SOTU and the football game. Only the Jets lose on the one I'm watching.

The whole friggin country loses on the other.

Posted by: GrumpyUnk at January 27, 2010 03:59 PM (d7zzZ)

93 just heard that Howard Zinn died.....it really is a bad couple of weeks for the Dems, isn't it?

Posted by: the Butcher at January 27, 2010 04:03 PM (8g9qq)

94 My fellow Americans, rather than act as a middle man, I will step aside and let the teleprompter read my remarks for me.

Posted by: Barak Obama at January 27, 2010 04:06 PM (bvDV5)

95 Hey, didn't everybody say that if Obama didn't get his way on healthcare, it would "destroy his presidency?" Well, Obamacare is dead (only a few dead enders refuse to acknowledge the truth). So that mean's this overgrown twat's presidency is D-E-A-D DEAD. So he's irrelevant. Let's do something more constructive than watch his inane speech, like sit in a corner and lick our nuts or something. By the way, Hotair just posted that Obama has decided to cancel the Constellation program, effectively destroying the plan to return to the Moon by 2020 - so we get to watch the Chinese and Indians go where Americans used to. Good going, you fucking asshole... yeay, YOU, Obama!

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 27, 2010 04:07 PM (QECjC)

96 David Axlerod is on the PBS Newshour. Man is he a lyin sack of shit. Oh wait, there's David "I like the crease in his pants" Brooks. Another POS.

Posted by: MAJHAM@GTMO at January 27, 2010 04:14 PM (GqGQo)

97 Howard Zinn dead? Oh shit, I'm running out of pudding!

Posted by: George Orwell at January 27, 2010 04:15 PM (AZGON)

98 "The State of the Union is strong but challenged". Yeah, with Obama as POTUS, that sounds about right. GOD I can't wait for 36 months to go by, so President Palin can restore the Constellation Program, pull the plug on any and ALL "achievements" Obama has, and for good measure publicly apologize for his lack of leadership to the entire world.

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 27, 2010 04:17 PM (QECjC)

99 97 That was inevitable.Too much money with us under huge debt thanks to Il Douche.

Posted by: steevy at January 27, 2010 04:17 PM (wwVQp)

100 Wow just read the screed on hillbuzz...looks like our tent just got bigger.

Posted by: dananjcon at January 27, 2010 04:18 PM (9DFbJ)

101 99 He unfortunately lived long enough to do that POS doc with Matt Damon.

Posted by: steevy at January 27, 2010 04:18 PM (wwVQp)

102 The state of the Union is lace wigs!

Actually, he'll say "the state of the Union is recovering (from Bush) and hopeful (for Obama manboob)"

Posted by: wooga at January 27, 2010 04:19 PM (2p0e3)

103 101 PS He would have cancelled it anyway because dems only want to spend on social programs.

Posted by: steevy at January 27, 2010 04:19 PM (wwVQp)

104

Laugh out loud funny.

State of The Onion

Posted by: Nash Rambler at January 27, 2010 04:21 PM (ASdwP)

105 The Gist:

How does America want its cold shit sandwich - corn, or peanuts?

Posted by: Señor Lameventana at January 27, 2010 04:22 PM (pGBhi)

106

The State of the Union is strong but challenged

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107

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108

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