Ace of Spades HQ

February 01, 2010

That 70-Minute "Phantom Menace" Reviewer Guy Does "Avatar"
— Dave in Texas

Not 70 minutes, just 18. Bonus examples drawn from Titanic and District Nine.

Parts one and two here.

I just finished up the first part, on to the second. I haven't seen Avatar, but I am enjoying how he breaks it down, some funny stuff, and some complimentary stuff about how Cameron tells a story.

UPDATE: this guy is really funny. I didn't really make it clear when I posted this, he isn't taking a pro or con position on the movie (unlike The Phantom Menace, which was decidely "this really sucks"). He's just explaining filmmaking again, and cracking me up while he does it.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at 04:54 PM | Comments (70)
Post contains 121 words, total size 1 kb.

1 already watched them, pure genius

Posted by: joebafett at February 01, 2010 04:56 PM (sIXoR)

2 future Bubba rednecks and baleful Disney eyes

Posted by: joebafett at February 01, 2010 04:57 PM (sIXoR)

3 The review is amusing, but let's be honest, the problem with this movie is that it is an anti-American schlock fest celebrating Gaianism.

Yes, Cameron goes the Disney route and hits the soft parts of the brain intentionally instead of trying to make a rational argument, but we wouldn't care if he had the same message as say Cars.

Posted by: 18-1 at February 01, 2010 04:59 PM (bgcml)

4 Dude.

Posted by: katya at February 01, 2010 04:59 PM (ps44Y)

5 Oh, and can we find a Gaianist willing to walk the walk? Rich playboy Cameron arguing for a return to primitivism is ridiculous.

Posted by: 18-1 at February 01, 2010 05:00 PM (bgcml)

6 Yep, Avatar is an anti-American, anti-military screed. I refuse to support it while we have soldiers in the field protecting the nation.

Posted by: kefka at February 01, 2010 05:02 PM (n1uMU)

7 Yep, Avatar is an anti-American, anti-military screed. I refuse to support it while we have soldiers in the field protecting the nation Thanks, kefka, this is why we won't go see the movie either. That, and James Cameron is a douche for dumping Linda Hamilton for that stupid skank from Titanic.

Posted by: mokimoki at February 01, 2010 05:04 PM (IrV7s)

pass

Posted by: trailortrash at February 01, 2010 05:09 PM (2Z+7j)

9 So Obama could have made Avatar and over three thousand sequels for the price tag of his estimated 2011 budget.

Posted by: 18-1 at February 01, 2010 05:10 PM (bgcml)

10 So Obama could have made Avatar and over three thousand sequels for the price tag of his estimated 2011 budget deficit

For his actual $4T budget he could have make 8000 Avatars.

Posted by: 18-1 at February 01, 2010 05:11 PM (bgcml)

11 I can picture it now... Cameron writing a generous check to the World Wildlife Federation... while flying in his private Gulfstream to a classic auto show and race in Monaco, where he will luxuriate in a suite of hotel rooms using fifteen times the energy, water and space of the average Frenchman. Being a leftard means never having to admit you're a hypocrite.

Posted by: George Orwell at February 01, 2010 05:12 PM (AZGON)

12 Being a leftard means never having to admit you're a hypocrite.

Posted by: George Orwell at February 01, 2010 09:12 PM (AZGON)

Why are my ears ringing?

Posted by: Al Gore at February 01, 2010 05:13 PM (bgcml)

13 So Obama could have made Avatar and over three thousand sequels for the price tag of his estimated 2011 budget deficit For his actual $4T budget he could have make 8000 Avatars. Sadly for us, Obama is not a fantasy movie.

Posted by: George Orwell at February 01, 2010 05:16 PM (AZGON)

14 I didn't really make it clear when I posted this, he isn't taking a pro or con position on the movie

What are you, high? He's ripping on it pretty good.

Posted by: OregonMuse at February 01, 2010 05:18 PM (hoowK)

15 YouTube Masked Movie Critic Guy is going to become a phenomenon if he keeps this up. I wonder if he'll eventually be able to produce his critiques and sell tickets/rights for their distribution?

Very insightful work and innovative use of new media. Copycats will eventually steal his shtick.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at February 01, 2010 05:22 PM (swuwV)

Eh, degrees I guess.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at February 01, 2010 05:24 PM (Wh0W+)

17 not really interested in seein dances with smurfs

Posted by: mrfixit at February 01, 2010 05:24 PM (Bsm1s)

18 Or put a different way, kind of like saying, "hey, it ain't my cup of tea, but if you feel like it, knock yourself out". I also think he's on to something with "what was Cameron's real objective here?"

Posted by: Dave in Texas at February 01, 2010 05:25 PM (Wh0W+)

19 Hey Malor? your office called. They were wondering whether you can hear it now. Ribisi, Worthington, Saldana and Jeremy Piven, sadly Larry the Cable Guy had a conflicting schedule.

Posted by: Mad Mallamullatto at February 01, 2010 05:26 PM (r0hEv)

20 I liked the skull and bones in the old Titanic popcorn tub, very Moronesque.

Posted by: Holger at February 01, 2010 05:27 PM (8NGHm)

21 The bit with the popcorn tub, is this guy a Moron ?

Posted by: CyclopsJack at February 01, 2010 05:29 PM (a4o2p)

22 I also think he's on to something with "what was Cameron's real objective here?"

I thought he was having a lot of fun pointing out how Cameron used every cheap, overused, infantile trick in the book, thus making him a total hack. With a big budget.

I suppose you're right, he didn't say it was a bad movie like he did with Phantom Menace, just oveblown and obvious.

Posted by: OregonMuse at February 01, 2010 05:30 PM (hoowK)

Forget Albert Einstein. This guy is a super-genius!

Posted by: Jerry Seinfeld at February 01, 2010 05:31 PM (zgZzy)

24 Damn you, sock!

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at February 01, 2010 05:31 PM (zgZzy)

>> I suppose you're right, he didn't say it was a bad movie like he did with Phantom Menace, just oveblown and obvious.

Yeah, I get you. He's absolutely critical, for the reasons you mentioned. What's different to me is in the Star Wars thing, he points out everything Lucas did to create a fucked up movie that had a zillion things wrong with it and didn't make any sense. In this one, he points out everything Cameron did that pretty much works, even if it's cheap and hacky and eye-roll inducing, it's cohesive.

Or something like that. I'm out of paste now and I need something to put on these crackers.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at February 01, 2010 05:33 PM (Wh0W+)

26 I think he did one for Attack of the Clones, too. I'm sure that was hysterical as well.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at February 01, 2010 05:35 PM (zgZzy)

27 "Did he just say 'shock and awe" and something about terrorists?

Oh. This is topical".

LOVE.

Posted by: Delicious Lead Paint at February 01, 2010 05:38 PM (5Ykni)

28 27 I think he did one for Attack of the Clones, too. I'm sure that was hysterical as well.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at February 01, 2010 09:35 PM (zgZzy)

it is

Posted by: Unclefacts, Proprietor International House of Bacons at February 01, 2010 05:38 PM (erIg9)

29
Heh.

Posted by: sickinmass at February 01, 2010 05:42 PM (Dxfei)

30 I know what I'm looking up tonight, then. His monotone is half the humor.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at February 01, 2010 05:42 PM (zgZzy)

31 What's different to me is in the Star Wars thing, he points out everything Lucas did to create a fucked up movie that had a zillion things wrong with it and didn't make any sense.

Yeah, he basically called Lucas an incompetent filmmaker. He didn't go that far with Cameron.

Posted by: OregonMuse at February 01, 2010 05:43 PM (hoowK)

32 sorta OT but bringin teh funny! http://tinyurl.com/yblo49b

Posted by: Johnny Coldcuts at February 01, 2010 05:45 PM (68tQb)

33 The Reviewer character is the funniest character in cyberspace right now. Check out the guy's YouTube channel, there is ample evidence of genius there. Only a matter of time before Hollywood ruins him.

Posted by: DaveyNC at February 01, 2010 05:47 PM (/NV9o)

34 Cameron insisted last week that he's not anti-military, he's anti inappropriate use of the military.

I guess now the Joint Chiefs of Staff will have to check with Secretary of Defense Jim Cameron before making a move

Posted by: kbdabear at February 01, 2010 05:51 PM (sYxEE)

35 Cameron knows one thing. Without the dazzling special effects the movie would have gone straight to video.

Posted by: kbdabear at February 01, 2010 05:53 PM (sYxEE)

36 James Cameron is a Truther, right? It's the only way his 9/11 imagery in the movie makes any sense.

Posted by: Z Ryan at February 01, 2010 05:56 PM (cMo6P)

37 This guy is great! I hope he will venture beyond film reviews and into the realm of political commentary.

I'd like to see his take on the SOTU speech from last week!

Posted by: The Greene Bard at February 01, 2010 06:03 PM (4AL/k)

38 I hope they checked with James Cameron to make sure this test was appropriate use of the military

UPDATE 1-US missile test mimicking Iran strike fails

WASHINGTON, Feb 1 (Reuters) - A U.S. attempt to shoot down a ballistic missile mimicking an attack from Iran failed after a malfunction in a radar built by Raytheon Co the Defense Department said

Posted by: kbdabear at February 01, 2010 06:05 PM (sYxEE)

39 Uh Oh, time for popcorn (and vodka, of course).

Posted by: sybilll at February 01, 2010 06:05 PM (YSJ+G)

40 Rut roh, looks like Ace is gonna dump some shit on somebody tonight.

Posted by: ol_dirty_/b+/tard at February 01, 2010 06:06 PM (IoUF1)

41 I was taken to see it last week. Visually it was nifty but it just went on and on. The blue people are ugly, the praying to and swaying around the tree gave me the creeps and portraying the military as Satan himself pissed me off. The "becoming one" with the trees and animals is some serious crystal gripping hippie bullshit.

Posted by: Shannon at February 01, 2010 06:08 PM (y9Imz)

42 Rut roh, looks like Ace is gonna dump some shit on somebody tonight.

Posted by: ol_dirty_/b+/tard at February 01, 2010 10:06 PM (IoUF1)

Popcorn... check.

Stomach muscles warmed for non-stop laughter... check.

Posted by: Editor at February 01, 2010 06:10 PM (YX6i/)

43 I posted this on the AOS Facebook group last night..I was checking this guys YT account and found it..I'm eagerly awaiting the Attack of the Clones takedown. HURRY PLZ!!!!

Posted by: vai2112 at February 01, 2010 06:11 PM (TcILN)

What is there to explain about James Cameron?

- Most of his stuff is remakes or sequels

- He doesnÂ’t possess sufficient education to come up with original plots

- He has to replace technical terms with dumbed-down versions: "unobtanium"

The original work, from whence Avatar is pilfered, used the correct term: Illudium Phosdex

_{Tell me no one paid money to see Avatar}

Posted by: Arbalest at February 01, 2010 06:15 PM (JnWYr)

45 James Cameron is a Truther, right? It's the only way his 9/11 imagery in the movie makes any sense.

Posted by: Z Ryan at February 01, 2010 09:56 PM (cMo6P)

Well, 1 out of every 3 democrats admits to it...

Posted by: 18-1 at February 01, 2010 06:17 PM (bgcml)

46 That was frikkin' hysterical! especially the .1 second that he flashed to open heart surgery... I damn near wet myself...

Posted by: rawmuse at February 01, 2010 06:20 PM (6Kciv)

47 I see what he did there at about the 7:50 mark for Part I. The irony of using Pitt (which is not exactly a dainty town) is pretty good too.

Posted by: Guy of Gisbourne at February 01, 2010 06:21 PM (+2NeJ)

48 Brilliant!

Posted by: trainer at February 01, 2010 06:22 PM (yCWYQ)

49 Harry Plinkett is a brilliant character to deliver these movie reviews. We as the audience can't normally identify with a monotone, geriatric psycho killer, so it's a bit startling to find yourself agreeing with almost all of his points.

Also, he gets every detail wrong outside of the movie (quotes, historical references). This takes the focus off the person delivering the criticism (since he's not claiming to be smart or knowledgeable) and keeps it on the target of the review. Very effective.

Posted by: Delicious Lead Paint at February 01, 2010 06:23 PM (5Ykni)

50 He does a good job.It is what I thought it was.A POS I will not be seeing.Jim Cameron can kiss my ass 'cause he ain't gettin' one penny from me.

Posted by: steevy at February 01, 2010 06:23 PM (/QOhK)

51 ol_dirty_/b+/tard@42,

Oh, man. It's like waiting for a crash test dummy. You know the outcome of the subject but have to watch to see just how mashed up the carcass. And it'll be fun. Well, except for the dummy.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at February 01, 2010 06:30 PM (swuwV)

52 What's with the guy's voice? Is that an act, or an injury?

Posted by: ParisParamus at February 01, 2010 06:30 PM (oT1aA)

53 Cameron must sue. Before seeing this review I was 90% certain I would not watch Avatar in a theater. After seeing it, I am 90% certain I will not download Avatar for free and watch it.

Posted by: John Galt at February 01, 2010 06:36 PM (Ylv1H)

54 Even cutting-edge, 3-D eye candy isn't enough to motivate me to get a lecture from some hypocritical liberal (BIRM) and pay a premium for the privilege. That Hollywood money can be pooled with other funds to finance the messengers I like who will tell him to stuff his ideology up his avatar.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at February 01, 2010 06:46 PM (swuwV)

55 The Terminator was his only original movie, wasn't it?

Didn't Harlan Ellison sue him for copyright infringement?

Also, it was a military guy who was the bad guy in the Abyss as well. And the aliens (spoiler coming) were about to destroy humanity in the director's cut.

So, yeah, he isn't that original.

Posted by: CT at February 01, 2010 07:07 PM (Pqg4z)

56 Oops. Yeah, I guess that was confusing there. My bad.

The (spoiler, again) aliens in the movie the Abyss wanted to destroy the world because, you know, humans are nasty and stuff. But the guy sent a text message saying he loved his wife and so they changed their mind. Or something like that.

Posted by: CT at February 01, 2010 07:24 PM (Pqg4z)

57 To me the most interesting part isn't actually the technology component of the movie though that is the headline. The technical only gets you so far. Obviously you need a good story and a compelling, original one to boot. No, what YouTube Masked Movie Critic Guy reveals through his work is the underlying manipulation that goes on in movie-making. The subtle and overt messaging is interwoven so much so that it reaches our collective subconscience. Hollywood is the behemoth message delivery system posing partly as entertainment, partly as financial investment, and partly as, as described by YTMMCG, brain-molding sociology tool.

Seeing how the sausage gets made - or seeing your belief of its underlying construct validated by someone who obviously has some expertise in the field - is the most rewarding mental exercise. Psychiatry/psychology is like that. You study behavior and the methods of changing behavior; then, you apply the research and watch how a particular audience reacts, first, followed by the greater population/society, second.

The Avatar/Disney face development was very interesting. It, not the face development per se but the general manipulation in movies, is also a signal of the insidious and proof that Hollywood, like most arts, should be kept at some arms length at all times.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at February 01, 2010 07:26 PM (swuwV)

58
Roger Simon in his "Poliwood" commentary on "Avatar" points out that all of the eeeeevil Marines in "Avatar" are white males. Only one exception - and she goes over to the aliens. In Hollywood terms, that makes it OK to hate them, and to cheer when they die.

Posted by: Brown Line at February 01, 2010 07:27 PM (hrRUa)

The bit with the popcorn tub, is this guy a Moron ?

I would say it's the Chief Moron himself.

Posted by: Decaf at February 01, 2010 07:34 PM (NooBZ)

The Attack of the Clones review is just a trailer.

I recommend everyone look at his dismantling of Star Trek: Generations and Star Trek: First Contact. His takedown of Riker's command incompentance in Generations and Picard's out of character stupidity in First Contact is priceless.

Posted by: Ken at February 01, 2010 07:43 PM (H0wvU)

61 Genius. Pure Genius.
P.S. Please Please tell me there won't be a sequel - Avatar had the feel of the Matrix 2, where you were thinking "Thanks for the ride, but you ran out of story in the first one." Except it was the first one.

Posted by: Patrick at February 01, 2010 09:27 PM (rE6CS)

62 I thought that this movie was a tragedy in the line of The phantom menace or Coriolanus. Perhaps Coriolanus blended with Mr. Bean. The most manipulative facet of the movie, however, was the absence of snakes. Sure, any world that got by with snakes that are merely butt plugs which attune you with various beasts and mosquitos that are actually the spirits of noble ancestors will be perfect. But "in a world" where snake and mosquito bites connect you with nature by killing you, re-uniting you with mother earth in one common sludge, and sending your spirits God knows where, hopefully not afflicting your kids with yellow fever however -- in such a world, I say, these things will be.

Posted by: philip at February 01, 2010 09:33 PM (d+dHu)

63 Also, he gets every detail wrong outside of the movie (quotes, historical references). This takes the focus off the person delivering the criticism (since he's not claiming to be smart or knowledgeable) and keeps it on the target of the review. Very effective.

He did miss one question completely even though he had set the answer earlier. When he posited on why Cameron released it in December instead of the summer, he got the reason wrong. Cameron did it because of his ego (which had been alluded to earlier.) The later in the year you release a film, the fresher it is in the minds of the Oscar voters. The late release is a common tactic that filmmakers use when they are trying to garner lots of Oscar nominations. When the voters get their ballots, the movie is still generating buzz. Vastly superior movies often get bypassed because they were released too early. Movies released in the summer are looking to make bazillions of dollars. Movies released in December are looking to get nominations. Nominations lead to bazillions of dollars.

Posted by: Steve L. at February 02, 2010 03:55 AM (Gkhxf)

64 "ace.mu.nu/archives/294745.php
November 14, 2009
Avatar Feature Trailer
I will be seeing this on opening night. Unless I can find a way to an advance screening. Or murder someone else with a way to an advance screening. Rly.
I know, I know, the plot is very WYSIWYG. Don't care. It's got Sam Worthington and Sigourney Weaver and Michelle Rodriguez. And Giovanni Ribisi. And Zoe Saldana (as an alien).
(...)
posted by Gabriel Malor at 07:50 PM"

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! A bit excitable, aren't we, Malor? How does my Pandora taste now?

The dude who did the review gave me more entertainment than the entire work of James Cameron combined. With the exception of ogling at muscled up Linda Hamilton toting the Evil Black Rifle.

Posted by: Desmond 2-2 at February 02, 2010 05:16 AM (dP6Ky)

65 The guy sounds like Larry Flynt.

Posted by: michele at February 02, 2010 05:27 AM (ZwiC3)

Vastly superior movies often get bypassed because they were released too early.

So that's why Unforgiven won best picture while Swing Kids wasn't even nominated.

Posted by: FireHorse at February 02, 2010 06:24 AM (cQyWA)

67 Was the Abyss any good? A fire broke out when I went to see it and I never got around to watching it.

Posted by: Hedgehog at February 02, 2010 07:28 AM (oQIfB)

I didn't really make it clear when I posted this, he isn't taking a pro or con position on the movie

I don't see how you can watch the whole 18-minute review and not see that he's taking a con position on the movie. It's obvious he thinks it's just a bunch of hokey schlock. He couldn't have been clearer that the story sucks.

Posted by: Average Jen at February 02, 2010 08:18 AM (fRnux)

69 I don't see how you can watch the whole 18-minute review and not see that he's taking a con position on the movie. It's obvious he thinks it's just a bunch of hokey schlock. He couldn't have been clearer that the story sucks.

True, but it's more about the thinness of the plot and transparency of the audience manipulation. He's complimentary on the technology, but doesn't think the ham-handed social messages are worth it. Compared to the brutal beatdown of George Lucas in the Phantom Menace review, this is pretty mild.

Posted by: Delicious Lead Paint at February 02, 2010 10:58 AM (5Ykni)

70 Compared to the brutal beatdown of George Lucas in the Phantom Menace review, this is pretty mild.

Compared to Malor's breathless panting over Ribisi and Saldana, and some Afro-Smurfs, it is scathing. There is something for every audience, you see.

Posted by: Desmond 2-2 at February 02, 2010 11:02 AM (dP6Ky)

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