Ace of Spades HQ

May 08, 2010

The Birdemic Experience
— LauraW

I'm told this movie was in the sidebar a few weeks back, touted as a 'best worst' type of movie.

Here's the tour schedule. Do watch the trailer. It's so awful it's a crackup. I feel badly that I'm missing the only Connecticut screening this weekend.

One of our very own CT Morons, Daryl T., is associated with this film somehow. Maybe he cooked up those great CGI effects.

From reviews at the IMDB page:

Where does one start? How can you mentally digest something like Birdemic? I am still in shock. I have seen some shitty movies in my time. But Birdemic, friends and neighbors, is the worst movie in the history of film-making, on this planet or in any other dimension for that matter. It is bad, OMG, right off the scale on the shitometer. The acting? Poor Alan Bagh, is he a living, walking wooden plank? Special effects? I swear, the birds are cardboard cutouts dangling from strings. For some reason, they explode when they hit something. Why? Why is that? Can't somebody explain, for freak's sake?
Everything stinks so very gaggingly. A rhesus monkey with a camcorder poking out of its arse would do better. Beware, my friends, beware of this abomination that is Birdemic.

Wow.
Wow.

Daryl's mom wrote that review, BTW.

I think he should avoid the subject at brunch with her tomorrow.

Posted by: LauraW at 07:39 AM | Comments (50)
Post contains 235 words, total size 1 kb.

1 So bad the average moron is afraid to be first?

Posted by: sTevo at May 08, 2010 07:47 AM (zIUsq)

2 No, I think better of the average moron, he/she is still sleeping off last night.

Posted by: sTevo at May 08, 2010 07:48 AM (zIUsq)

3 So, it's an outdoors movie?

Posted by: Easy Bake at May 08, 2010 07:48 AM (ONBbr)

4
Best worst movie: Death Race 2000

Posted by: Franken Berry at May 08, 2010 07:49 AM (uFokq)

5 This trailer is so bad it's awesome.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 08, 2010 07:50 AM (UOM48)

6 Gotta see this. Can't be any worse than Raiders of the Lost City or Mega Piranha.

/Hell, it can't be worse than the Nightmare on Elm Street remake.

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at May 08, 2010 07:51 AM (9hSKh)

7 Had to throw in the "global warming is killing teh polar bears" garbage in the trailer for this stupid movie, didn't ya?

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at May 08, 2010 07:53 AM (9hSKh)

8 Sure it's a bad movie now, but Lucas will remake it and it will be worse.

Posted by: eman at May 08, 2010 07:54 AM (ONBbr)

9 It's fucking brilliant, if you look at it as a metaphor for the Pres'ent Toonces Presidency.

Posted by: Unclefacts, AoSHQ Professional Debate Team at May 08, 2010 07:54 AM (erIg9)

10 7, Well, we did wipe out the Japanese Penguin and the Norwegian Lion.

Posted by: eman at May 08, 2010 07:55 AM (ONBbr)

11 Who needs Hitchcock?

Posted by: Usful Ijit at May 08, 2010 07:56 AM (sLjgA)

12 Who needs Hitchcock? Posted by: Usful Ijit at May 08, 2010 11:56 AM (sLjgA) Well he wasn't a bad pitcher

Posted by: nevergiveup at May 08, 2010 07:57 AM (0GFWk)

13 Kratos, that MegaPiranha link is hilarious.

Posted by: Grey Fox at May 08, 2010 07:58 AM (ULOId)

14 Laura W....I love you, hump and all, but why in the name of all that is Holy did you do this to us? "Hobo-demic", I could live with. But THIS? I have a month's worth of Prozac in the medicine cabinet. I am going to eat it all. Farewell, Morons ! And, Laura W., schedule an appointment with a Priest/Minister/Rabbi/Oprah.You need help. And take Daryl with you.

Posted by: FishFearMe at May 08, 2010 07:59 AM (4YamK)

15 Kratos you owe me a kb.

Posted by: Unclefacts, AoSHQ Professional Debate Team at May 08, 2010 08:01 AM (erIg9)

16 13 Kratos, that MegaPiranha link is hilarious.

Indeed! Good thing though, I can stand bad movie trailers if they make me laugh. The best of SyFy productions!

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at May 08, 2010 08:01 AM (9hSKh)

17 Does this mean the midnight Rocky Horror Picture Show theater troupes will be learning a new script?

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at May 08, 2010 08:06 AM (swuwV)

18 15 Kratos you owe me a kb.

Don't bill the messenger. Blame SyFy!

Now that I've thought about it - there could be a worse movie than Birdemic. If Uwe Boll gets his hands on the God of War franchise..

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at May 08, 2010 08:07 AM (9hSKh)

19 Me thinks "audience" and hype is part of the movie.... I vote 'June in Springdale' as worst movie ever.

Posted by: politicalmuse at May 08, 2010 08:07 AM (kLKnf)

20 Why? Why is that? Can't somebody explain, for freak's sake?

The Fish.

Posted by: Salvador Dali at May 08, 2010 08:08 AM (2X8VA)

21 How does this rate below any "SyFy Original Movie"? I don't think this is the new "Plan 9 From Outer Space".

At least we didn't see our hero screaming "I've had it with these motherfucking birds on this motherfucking beach!".

Posted by: Chris R at May 08, 2010 08:18 AM (AO4qz)

22
It's a rainy Saturday up here where illegal Auntie Zetunia lives off the taxpayers.

A perfect day to watch stupid movies.

Posted by: Franken Berry at May 08, 2010 08:19 AM (uFokq)

23 KISS OUR ASSES.

Posted by: The producers of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes at May 08, 2010 08:19 AM (MMC8r)

24 #21 I think SyFy movies have a bigger budget than the one used to make Birdemic. At least SyFy special effects are half-way believable.

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at May 08, 2010 08:20 AM (9hSKh)

25
Best Rainy Day Movies

Big Trouble in Little China
What Women Want
The River
Any MST3K episode

Posted by: Franken Berry at May 08, 2010 08:22 AM (uFokq)

26 "Troll 2" is another mainstay of the Horrible Movie Circuit. There was a documentary about its afterlife, playing around here a week or two ago.

There are some parallels with "Plan 9 From Outer Space": the director was attempting to make a serious point, and some of the stars turned out to be neurotic to the point of disability.

At least no-one involved in making "Troll 2" can be blamed for sullying the Troll brand. The suits gave it its name after the fact. They didn't know how else to sucker ANYONE into watching it.

Posted by: Zimriel at May 08, 2010 08:23 AM (lHC8G)

27 SyFy effects believable?

http://tinyurl.com/29l6tb2

Posted by: Chris R at May 08, 2010 08:24 AM (AO4qz)

28 It can't be worse than 1492: Conquest of Paradise (a movie with a Frenchman playing a Corsican hopefully sailing from Spain to India while speaking English! It also stars Tom Selleck as King Ferdinand!).

Posted by: dfbaskwill at May 08, 2010 08:28 AM (ndlFj)

29
have you heard?

America is Back!

Posted by: Newsweek at May 08, 2010 08:32 AM (uFokq)

30 HAHAHAHA!

*wipes tears from eyes
HAHAHA!

That's awesome.

Posted by: pajama momma at May 08, 2010 08:40 AM (fo4Wl)

31 Why aren't there any killer, diseased sea mammal movies?

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at May 08, 2010 08:42 AM (wd0Iq)

32 We're back? I didn't know we went anywhere. Why am I always the last to know when we go somewhere and when we are back?

Posted by: Chris R at May 08, 2010 08:45 AM (AO4qz)

33 No thanks, I'm not gonna hang out with all the hipster douchebags who will be there.

Posted by: mesablue at May 08, 2010 09:04 AM (sl3Ei)

34

I remember seeing the link in the sidebar a few weeks back and clicking on it to watch the trailer. I also remember picking myself up off of the floor after falling out of my chair laughing.

Its that funny awful

Posted by: Blazer at May 08, 2010 09:26 AM (t72+4)

Hey, Laura, don't miss MegaPiranha. It's on next weekend. On scifey.

Also, Manticore is on right now. At this moment. On syfey. Don't wanna miss that.

And tonight? You guessed it. Mongolian Death Worms. The premiere. Yeah, it's on scifey too. I'm not joking, man.

Posted by: rdbrewer at May 08, 2010 09:26 AM (QCToM)

36 Rocky Horror Picture show, updated?

Will we still get to smoke left handed cigarettes?

Do I bring rice, or bird seed?

Posted by: Kemp at May 08, 2010 09:43 AM (2+9Yx)

37 Here's the Birdemic trailer that was in the sidebar. I had to put it on my Facebook page. Cuz it's the bare-knuckled, thrill-ride, feel-good movie of the year.

Posted by: rdbrewer at May 08, 2010 09:52 AM (QCToM)

38 #19 Is the winner. The whole thing looks like a set up. Plus when the MFM is already calling a movie a cult hit before it's even out of theaters on the first run you know something is up.

Posted by: Alex at May 08, 2010 09:58 AM (JpLwq)

39
35 rdbrewer

And tonight? You guessed it. Mongolian Death Worms. The premiere. Yeah, it's on scifey too. I'm not joking, man.

By George, you're right.

(buries head in hands)

Posted by: Salvador Dali at May 08, 2010 10:12 AM (2X8VA)

40
39

Get outta here, sockpuppet Sal!

...oh never mind, it's melted.

Posted by: Golem14 at May 08, 2010 11:20 AM (2X8VA)

41 According to IMDB, Tippi Hedren has a cameo in this turdfest.

LOL.

Posted by: Chris R at May 08, 2010 12:41 PM (AO4qz)

42 Haven't seen this one yet, but I got stuck watching It's Complicated w/ Alec Baldwin, Steve Martin and Meryl Streep last night and I cannot fathom a more atrocious movie.

Posted by: ccruse456 at May 08, 2010 01:55 PM (xcbly)

43 Bu... but the NY Times gave it a good review..

Wait, what?

Posted by: Retired Geezer at May 08, 2010 03:36 PM (DQQ95)

44 Nothing better than a bad sci fi flick. Unless it's a bad horror flick.

Posted by: GGE, Hall of Fame Moron at May 08, 2010 04:26 PM (xa1/W)

45 I actually watched this movie. Twice. It's both sad and hilarious. So much liberal propaganda wrapped up in the worst acting outside middle school, horrible dialogue, and abysmal special effects. The exploding birds are superimposed animated GIFs. And the director rips off John Lennon's "Imagine". It's that bad. My favorite line: "Look! There are dead people up ahead. Let's see if there are any survivors." This movie makes "Manos" look competent. You've really got to see it to appreciate just how special it is.

Posted by: nunia at May 08, 2010 04:33 PM (mIR1F)

46 According to IMDB, Tippi Hedren has a cameo in this turdfest.

LOL.

Posted by: Chris R at May 08, 2010 04:41 PM (AO4qz)

Well, a case of Alpo is pretty cheap.

Posted by: Bill H at May 08, 2010 06:16 PM (q8CmE)

47 44 Nothing better than a bad sci fi flick. Unless it's a bad horror flick.
Posted by: GGE, Hall of Fame Moron

Frank sings about this.

Posted by: sTevo at May 09, 2010 03:55 AM (zIUsq)

@21 and @22, Plan 9 From Outer Space and Attack of the Killer Tomatos still reign supreme but Killer Clowns From Outer Space is always in the running.

@28, Selleck was just following a hallowed Follywood tradition. Think of John Wayne as Genghis Khan (The Conqueror 1956).

As a backup, think of all the blacksploitation films of the 70's (I'm Gonna Git You Sucka takes a shot at them but becomes an eye roller itself.)

Posted by: chuck in st paul at May 10, 2010 07:06 AM (adr25)

49 led digital watch led digital watches led display watch vintage led watch

Posted by: dfcvbcb at May 18, 2010 09:19 PM (eU/Oa)

50 My friendS told me that this blog is competitive. i will continue to read. efox-shop

Posted by: epad at June 10, 2011 06:42 PM (jWW3g)

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