Ace of Spades HQ

August 23, 2010

The Onion: Time Will Introduce New Version of Magazine... For Adults
— Ace

Sometimes the Onion is funny.

Sometimes the Onion is cruel.

Sometimes the Onion in on the attack against a target despised by the right.

Sometimes the Onion is actually all three.

Stolen from Hot Air, this is just the most deadpan-deadly attack on Time Magazine possible.

The following video -- Al Qaeda Cancels Planned Terror Attack, Fearing It Could Do Damage to Author of "Twilight" Series -- is pretty good too.

Posted by: Ace at 04:17 PM | Comments (78)
Post contains 93 words, total size 1 kb.

1 That made my night, especially the little girl that went from Lady Gaga into the recession.

Posted by: Penfold at August 23, 2010 04:21 PM (EdMSl)

2 Oh, and first!! Does this mean i get a free one year subscription to Time Advanced?

Posted by: Penfold at August 23, 2010 04:21 PM (EdMSl)

3 lol

Posted by: brak at August 23, 2010 04:22 PM (nIoiW)

4 Brutal.

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at August 23, 2010 04:23 PM (9cflz)

5 Are they getting rid of Goofus and Gallant? I really liked that Goofus. He was cool.

Posted by: Cicero at August 23, 2010 04:23 PM (QKKT0)

6 That was worthy of butterscotch pudding.

Posted by: fluffy & sticky at August 23, 2010 04:24 PM (SwkdU)

7 Hahahahahahahahaha

Posted by: Corky Thatcher at August 23, 2010 04:25 PM (yQWNf)

8 Can you still fold the back tab over to answer the riddle in Time Magazine?

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at August 23, 2010 04:25 PM (9cflz)

9 I always liked what in this picture is different, but the rest, not so much.

Posted by: dagny at August 23, 2010 04:25 PM (Q0h20)

10 You'll be hearing from our lawyers shortly.

Posted by: Righthaven at August 23, 2010 04:26 PM (c0A3e)

11 Time advanced? They'll probably still make things up and just put a later date on each issue.

It 'll take a while for at least 52% of adults to catch on.

Posted by: ontherocks at August 23, 2010 04:27 PM (HBqDo)

12 Ouch!

Posted by: EZB at August 23, 2010 04:27 PM (fa9yq)

The Onion has been spot on with its Biden's spoofs.

-Shirtless Biden washes trans am in WH driveway

- Hennesy Ads

(my fav)

-Lifetime ban at Dave & Busters when he went apeshit and destroyed the 'rigged' Wack-A-Mole game. He called the employees 'killjoy cocksuckers'.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at August 23, 2010 04:28 PM (B57/k)

14 That is going to leave a mark.

Posted by: Old grizzled gym coach at August 23, 2010 04:29 PM (QBQcg)

15 Joe Klein in a rainbow clown wig. Devastating.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at August 23, 2010 04:30 PM (yQWNf)

16 How do the folks at Hot Air keep up with the relentless demand for new posts from this place?

Posted by: eman at August 23, 2010 04:31 PM (Nw/hR)

17 It's about damn time the FDA approved drinking more as a hangover cure

Posted by: mugiwara at August 23, 2010 04:31 PM (KI/Ch)

18 I hate magazines where you go to doodle mustaches, scars & herpes lips on all the people and the majority of them already have mustaches, scars & herpes lips.

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at August 23, 2010 04:31 PM (wd0Iq)

19 Funny because it's true. Time is a more colorful version of Highlights.

On a similar note, the Alex Jones whack-a-doo theory about how Time Magazine is a CIA mind control operation is starting to make a lot more sense.

Posted by: Phinn at August 23, 2010 04:31 PM (GiUTT)

20 No more pictures?

Posted by: SlaveDog at August 23, 2010 04:33 PM (foEpt)

21 I liked that Time was losing "Richard Sherman, who plays beloved children's character Joe Klein"

Posted by: Black Writer at the HuffPo at August 23, 2010 04:33 PM (QbA6l)

22 How do the folks at Hot Air keep up with the relentless demand for new posts from this place?

Posted by: eman at August 23, 2010 08:31 PM (Nw/hR)\

Ace keeps them rolling in Hobo Jerky. One hand washes another and all that.

Posted by: 18-1 at August 23, 2010 04:34 PM (bgcml)

23 Me likey.

And I never tire of being told or telling the story about my late grandfather yelling at a Marriott Hotel representative to "get that left-wing rag out of my house" when she tried to give him a paid subscription to Time.

/RIP Pap-Pap.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at August 23, 2010 04:35 PM (c0A3e)

24 Any word on whether Time is keeping Alfred E. Neuman?

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at August 23, 2010 04:36 PM (9cflz)

25 13

The Onion has been spot on with its Biden's spoofs.

-Shirtless Biden washes trans am in WH driveway

That was classic. I posted that on a car forum and the owner deleted it for being "political" (he has a thin skin). Hey, it was funny!

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at August 23, 2010 04:36 PM (9eDbm)

26 Oh, and if you have any friends of the "Don't believe the corporate media man! Well, uh ok, don't believe the corporate Faux News, man!" types - send them this link.

Posted by: 18-1 at August 23, 2010 04:37 PM (bgcml)

27

Ace keeps them rolling in Hobo Jerky. One hand washes another and all that.

Jerking hobos is a skill requiring years of experience, discipline and training. Something that's well beyond the abilities of the average Ewok.

Somehow I can see the HotAir guys having that kind of discipline.....

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 23, 2010 04:39 PM (P9+0W)

28 They slipped a nice shot at Newsweek too (Newsweek, the news weekly for illiterates...)

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at August 23, 2010 04:39 PM (5Plp1)

29 Fuck this I'm moving over to Highlights For Children.

Posted by: Time Editor at August 23, 2010 04:42 PM (h0RtZ)

30 "The beloved children's character Joe Klein." Spot on.

Posted by: John S at August 23, 2010 04:42 PM (+q/hN)

31 This one from the Onion is funny. NS4W

http://tinyurl.com/yc95nua

Posted by: CUS at August 23, 2010 04:42 PM (n56wA)

32 The only thing that would have made it better would have been if one of those kids said the games on the back of the Trix or Fruity Pebbles was more challenging than anything in Time had to offer.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at August 23, 2010 04:42 PM (B57/k)

33 That was awesome. I'm sad that the crawl was cut out of the video though, the crawl is one of the funniest parts of any of the news pieces.

Posted by: alexthechick at August 23, 2010 04:44 PM (eRjGt)

34 Time won't give me time.
Makes liberals feel like they got something real.

Posted by: Boy George at August 23, 2010 04:45 PM (664Zx)

35 yeah that was good. but, they really aren't making fun of Time's leftwing bias, just its insipid reporting style. oh well, I'll take it where I can get it.

Posted by: chemjeff at August 23, 2010 04:47 PM (Pm5H8)

36 Time is still available? Who knew?

who cared?

Posted by: Frank G at August 23, 2010 04:47 PM (4X0aT)

37 Like Rush says, for comedy to work, it has to have an element of truth involved.

Posted by: Ronster at August 23, 2010 04:48 PM (q08oe)

38 Nothing beats the feeling of kicking someone while they're down.

Posted by: Aaron at August 23, 2010 04:48 PM (XUIJ5)

39 TIME: reduced to component atoms.

Posted by: Mark in Spokane at August 23, 2010 04:49 PM (efEok)

40 Time Advanced will not, repeat not, retain the "I like paste" section.

Posted by: eman at August 23, 2010 04:49 PM (Nw/hR)

41 It's obvious you Neanderthal wingnuts are not interested in building bridges and reaching out!

Posted by: TIME at August 23, 2010 04:50 PM (BP6Z1)

42 Nothing beats the feeling of kicking someone while they're down. That's when they're closest to your feet.

Posted by: practical advice from fluffy at August 23, 2010 04:50 PM (SwkdU)

43 Joe Klein watching TheOnion = Tears of a Clown

Posted by: noglitterpizz at August 23, 2010 04:51 PM (42fGB)

44 O/T: Hey look, another RINO giving us the reacharound

Posted by: chemjeff at August 23, 2010 04:54 PM (Pm5H8)

45 33 That was awesome. I'm sad that the crawl was cut out of the video though, the crawl is one of the funniest parts of any of the news pieces.

Posted by: alexthechick at August 23, 2010 08:44 PM (eRjGt)

You can click on the full-screen icon to see the crawl.

Posted by: Herr Blücher at August 23, 2010 04:54 PM (/hine)

46 Most of you monors may know this, but there is an Onion movie (The Onion Movie). I almost shat myself watching it. Quite funny and worth a look!

Posted by: Son Of The Godfather at August 23, 2010 04:54 PM (HqKcb)

Are they getting rid of Goofus and Gallant? I really liked that Goofus. He was cool.

Yeah, Gallant was an annoying, brown nosing suck up. My favorite, though has to be the TIMERTOES FAMILY!!1111111 Timmy made me swoon as a young girl.

Posted by: runningrn at August 23, 2010 04:55 PM (CfmlF)

48 I'm glad they're keeping TIME. I'm sure TIME Advanced won't have the Scratch 'n' Sniff pictures.

Posted by: Libby Rahl at August 23, 2010 05:00 PM (BP6Z1)

49 Is this thing on?

Posted by: guy that taps the microphone at August 23, 2010 05:00 PM (SwkdU)

50 Its about time that Time introduced something for adults. My parrot, who is very worldly, educated and urbane, is getting pretty tired of all that lame shit I keep stuffing on the bottom of his cage.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at August 23, 2010 05:01 PM (UUzeK)

51 If it doesn't have any pictures I'm not reading it!

Posted by: Anti-Prop8ater at August 23, 2010 05:03 PM (+ag0i)

52 I heard Time Advanced is going to be followed by Time Retreat.

Posted by: runningrn at August 23, 2010 05:04 PM (CfmlF)

53 If it doesn't have any pictures I'm not reading it! Would you like to head our marketing group?

Posted by: Newsweek at August 23, 2010 05:05 PM (SwkdU)

54 thanks alot mr. ace or if that's your name. ya had to link to the onion. i am rotflmaomshyb [rolling on the floor laughing my ass off my sides hurt you bastard]. not from this, but from a bunch of others. i'm gone to onion. tyvmywsmaaifarfstyvmbiast [thank you very much you won't see me anymore as i've found a really funny site thank you very much but i've already said that].

Posted by: gomm at August 23, 2010 05:06 PM (73jUp)

55 Maybe newsweek will follow suit . At the very least they could cater to the young adult reader .

Posted by: awkward davies at August 23, 2010 05:12 PM (RNW0d)

56 They should bring back Washingtoon in the regular (kids) edition.

Posted by: cassandra at August 23, 2010 05:13 PM (NWI07)

57 Someone should do a "best of" The Onion. There's often a lot of wading to do to find something good.

Posted by: Troy at August 23, 2010 05:15 PM (V1U25)

58 but, they really aren't making fun of Time's leftwing bias, just its insipid reporting style.

Induction versus deduction, my good man.

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at August 23, 2010 05:16 PM (SHKl9)

Posted by: gomm at August 23, 2010 09:06 PM (73jUp)

Good.

Posted by: A Casual Observer at August 23, 2010 05:18 PM (q08oe)

60 When do the promo posts for the "Ed Morrissey Show" start running here, ace?

Posted by: MrScribbler at August 23, 2010 05:21 PM (Ulu3i)

61 I trust the ONN for reliable news more than I trust CNN.

Posted by: gebrauchshund at August 23, 2010 05:22 PM (ADeN1)

62 That's gonna leave a nasty papercut

Posted by: Unclefacts, AoSHQ Pro Debate Team, Bacon Raconteur at August 23, 2010 05:29 PM (eCAn3)

63 @44 Similarly O/T but reminds me of my disgust when W backed Specter and he narrowly beat Toomey. How sweet it will be to see Specter's lamentable career end in with Toomey being his successor.

Posted by: Interesting Decision at August 23, 2010 05:30 PM (epj36)

64 The best part was showing Time displayed with a bunch of kiddie magazines. Its look fit right in with the periodicals devoted to small people attracted by lots of bright colors.

Posted by: Looking Glass at August 23, 2010 05:40 PM (8VsjU)

Maybe newsweek will follow suit . At the very least they could cater to the young adult reader

I think they had that when I was a kid: "The Little Newsweakly Reader".

Posted by: runningrn at August 23, 2010 05:47 PM (CfmlF)

66 HotAir picks up the meme. Ace - you gonna report on Allahsquish picking it up? Another rip in the universal fabric

Posted by: Frank G at August 23, 2010 06:17 PM (4X0aT)

67 Nice to see the Onion still has its moments. My favorite Onion headline (from the olden days) is still "Perky 'Canada' Has Own Government, Laws". In fact, if you google that, you can still find the original article. Worth a read.

Posted by: HT at August 23, 2010 06:24 PM (uxTTM)

68 I like how Bobby Batista, formerly of CNN, reads news items on the ONN. She slid from one joke network to another and did not skip a beat.

Posted by: eman at August 23, 2010 06:49 PM (Nw/hR)

69 Man, that's enough to make you cry...

Posted by: Gmac at August 23, 2010 06:53 PM (5yxlr)

70 I like how Bobby Batista, formerly of CNN, reads news items on the ONN.

I have to wonder what the ONN newsreader gig pays. Production values are pretty good.

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Posted by: Timberland boots at August 24, 2010 12:20 AM (vtZf+)

72 That Twilight clip has got to be funnier than every Adam Sandler movie combined. "Or my mother is a Jew!"

Posted by: wankette at August 24, 2010 01:36 AM (I1Q0P)

73 What happenedto the clip about Time Magazine?

Posted by: The Therapist at August 24, 2010 04:39 AM (qAapp)

74 Gone! Gone from Ace, gone from Onion, wazzup?

Posted by: Walter at August 24, 2010 04:52 AM (PmwMP)

75 WTF is with the goofy ads in the comments section? Don't buy any of that stuff, it's all knock off crap. The websites all have viruses that will make your kids stupid and kill your pets. Beware!

Posted by: Walter at August 24, 2010 04:59 AM (PmwMP)

76 Hot Air's opening act. Incest.

Posted by: Hussein Obummer at August 24, 2010 05:14 AM (VSWPU)

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How do I subscribe to your newsletter?

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at August 24, 2010 08:55 AM (9eDbm)

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