Ace of Spades HQ

March 24, 2010

The Senate and the House eat Breakfast.
— Jack M.

Senate: Morning, House!

House: Morning, big bro! I'm hungry!

Senate: What would you like to eat?

House: Fruity Pebbles.

Senate: Tough. You get Fruit Loops instead.

House: But I want Pebbles!

Senate: You'll get Loops.

House: Pebbles!

Senate: Loops!

House: Pebbles!!11!!11!

Senate: Loops!!11!!1!

(Zoom in to clock....hands spinning wildly to indicate the passage of time as the argument continues)

House: Fine, give me your Fruit Loops.

Senate: Just kidding. All we have is Grape Nuts. Enjoy!

Posted by: Jack M. at 12:44 PM | Comments (48)
Post contains 90 words, total size 1 kb.

1 First

Posted by: Cromagnum at March 24, 2010 12:45 PM (QZFcc)

2
They'rrrrrrrrre GREAT!

Posted by: This is Carlton, the doorman at March 24, 2010 12:46 PM (z37MR)

3
meanwhile, we, the pleebs, get generic corn flakes...

Posted by: This is Carlton, the doorman at March 24, 2010 12:47 PM (z37MR)

I don't know who this "Jack M." is, but his Senate/House posts are the shiznit.

Aren't you some congressional staffer or something? Or do you just write epic love poems that seem to be crazy gay, but then on second reading, just seem crazy?*

Speaking of which, when do we get another epic poem?

*And when I say crazy, I mean in a complementary crazy way. Like Van Gough crazy.

Posted by: Ed at March 24, 2010 12:48 PM (OCfDT)

5 To the Senate: Go pick on someone your own size.

Posted by: House at March 24, 2010 12:49 PM (QZFcc)

6
little House is going to go postal one day...

Posted by: IreneFingIrene at March 24, 2010 12:49 PM (MFQJZ)

7
the pleebs, get generic corn flakes...

Only if you know someone with the SEIU or ACORNKVD.

Posted by: Dang Straights at March 24, 2010 12:49 PM (fx8sm)

He is channeling his inner Iowahawk

Speaking of Iowahawk, anyone seen him recently?

Posted by: Cromagnum at March 24, 2010 12:50 PM (QZFcc)

9 Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Posted by: Tonawanda at March 24, 2010 12:51 PM (bN5ZU)

10 Grape Nuts contain neither grapes nor nuts. Kinda like Health Insurance Reform.

Posted by: SlaveDog at March 24, 2010 12:51 PM (H6Jyg)

11 Speaking of Iowahawk, anyone seen him recently?

He was on the Headlines thread.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at March 24, 2010 12:52 PM (mR7mk)

12 Ed, You are obviously the savviest and most cultured commenter here. If I was willing to lop my ear off, I'd send it to you. If you were a woman. Which you likely aren't since your name is Ed.

Posted by: Jack M. at March 24, 2010 12:52 PM (Ncr1R)

Fruity Pebbles don't contain pebbles either.

What a rip...

Posted by: Ed at March 24, 2010 12:52 PM (OCfDT)

14
hey, btw, remember when...

the Democrats said it would take ten years to get oil out of Alaska's refuge with the stupid caribou? Yeah, wasn't that like, oh, 8 years ago?

Posted by: This is Carlton, the doorman at March 24, 2010 12:52 PM (z37MR)

15 Thank you, sir. May I have another?

Posted by: Chip Diller at March 24, 2010 12:53 PM (gLSaO)

16 I used to know a woman named Ed.

Not Lola. Ed.

Posted by: SlaveDog at March 24, 2010 12:53 PM (H6Jyg)

toby928 at March 24, 2010 04:53 PM (PD1tk)

Could be toby, could be... Or is it short for Edith?

Posted by: Ed at March 24, 2010 12:55 PM (OCfDT)

18
why do we have to wait until gas gets over $3/gal to 'beg' Congress for more domestic oil? Every single time. Then we shut up when gas goes back down. Someday it's not gonna go back down.

We are our own worst enemies...

Posted by: This is Carlton, the doorman at March 24, 2010 12:55 PM (z37MR)

19 I'd say channeling his inner Goldstein, but...whatever.

Posted by: citizen khan at March 24, 2010 12:55 PM (jDaUV)

20 Put it in robot theater or it didn't happen.

Posted by: dan-O at March 24, 2010 12:56 PM (+9Rf8)

21 I'm cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

Posted by: CUS at March 24, 2010 12:56 PM (wOGfT)

22 Do it again, Jack.

Posted by: Steely Dan at March 24, 2010 12:57 PM (gh14/)

Nancy Pelosi pissed in my cheerios.

True story.

Posted by: Fritz at March 24, 2010 12:57 PM (GwPRU)

24 @ 9 He is channeling his inner Iowahawk

Except Iowahawk is actually quite engaging and funny.

Posted by: Vile Roman at March 24, 2010 12:57 PM (iBzKc)

25 I had not seen this before.

Posted by: maddogg at March 24, 2010 12:58 PM (OlN4e)

26
Do it again, Jack.
Posted by: Steely Dan

heh

Posted by: This is Carlton, the doorman at March 24, 2010 12:59 PM (z37MR)

27 I see the new message is out, The racist, tea bagging repubs are now threatening to kill us all because they dont want to help the sick and uninsured

Posted by: Lt Kilgore at March 24, 2010 12:59 PM (4QCvv)

28 Gird your loins. Beck's up.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 24, 2010 01:00 PM (UOM48)

29 10 Yikes. CHART OF THE DAY: See Where The V-Shaped Recovery Has Already Died

I was thinking just a few moments ago about Amnesty. Not the usual things, you know, the stealing of the Republic with 20 million new voters and stuff, but the economic fallout-- suddenly, illegals working for pennies become citizens and don't have to work for slave wages any more. Service industries that have been getting by on the illegals are going to quickly find themselves in serious hurt (poor babies). A lot of landscaping, hotel, and construction is either going to have costs balloon, followed by many going out of business. Then the new spanking citizens will all line up for the dole, in this economy, and in a lot of states that are facing bankruptcy. We'll probably hit a collapse point shortly thereafter.

Posted by: 5% unemployment at March 24, 2010 01:04 PM (MMC8r)

How about a big bowl of Shut The Fuck UP!

Posted by: Barack Obama - defender of Free Speech at March 24, 2010 01:11 PM (Vu6sl)

Posted by: 5% unemployment at March 24, 2010 05:04 PM (MMC8r)

after Obummer gets done it will be more like 5% employment

Posted by: mrfixit at March 24, 2010 01:13 PM (Bsm1s)

32 Frosted Flakes does not contain liberals!

Posted by: conscious and checking the cupboard at March 24, 2010 01:14 PM (Vu6sl)

why do we have to wait until gas gets over $3/gal to 'beg' Congress for more domestic oil? Every single time. Then we shut up when gas goes back down. Someday it's not gonna go back down.

Why, you seem to view gasoline prices of over $3 per gallon as a bad thing. I'm afraid I don't understand your reasoning.

Posted by: The Democratic Party at March 24, 2010 01:15 PM (plsiE)

Frosted Flakes does not contain liberals!

This reminds of me of the SNL skit about "Colon Blow" cereal.

Posted by: Iamnotanalcoholic at March 24, 2010 01:18 PM (fA7M/)

35 Glenn's right on target today.

Posted by: Iamnotanalcoholic at March 24, 2010 01:20 PM (fA7M/)

36 /sock

Posted by: nickless at March 24, 2010 01:21 PM (MMC8r)

37 I'm only eating breakfast because Teh President promised we could have waffles. Man, I'm getting hungry.

Posted by: Bart Stupak at March 24, 2010 01:22 PM (xq7pr)

38 meanwhile, we, the pleebs, get generic corn flakes...

At least we didn't piss in those corn flakes, teabagger.

Posted by: Joe Biden at March 24, 2010 01:26 PM (fDWFP)

39 No sign of my waffles yet. I hope they're made fresh, and not those stupid frozen Aunt Jemimah waffles.

Posted by: Bart Stupak at March 24, 2010 01:29 PM (xq7pr)

40 Oops. Did I say Aunt Jemimah? Sorry, I forgot that that's RAAACISSTT!!11!1!. Well, if I were a Republican or a true pro-lifer, I mean.

Posted by: Bart Stupak at March 24, 2010 01:32 PM (xq7pr)

I think they should share a can of whoop ass:

http://tinyurl.com/y8ahghn

Posted by: the Butcher at March 24, 2010 01:54 PM (MkhK0)

42 So is it true that the real Buckwheat became a black muslim later in life and changed his name to..... Kareem...of Wheat?

Posted by: Steak Biletnikoff at March 24, 2010 02:21 PM (0QJjg)

43 It's more Treacherish.

Nah. Jeff Goldberg but with even *more* words.

Posted by: Stupe Bartak at March 24, 2010 03:19 PM (PMGbu)

44 Jeff Goldberg but with even *more* words.

Goldstein, I mean...

Posted by: Stupe Bartak at March 24, 2010 03:34 PM (PMGbu)

Fruity Pebbles don't contain pebbles either.

Try the Grape Nuts....I'm pretty sure that contains pebbles.

Posted by: Stillwater at March 24, 2010 04:26 PM (qUdDE)

46 LUCY CHARMS PINK HEARTS,YELLOW MOONS,GREEN CLOVER,BLUE DIAMONDS,ORANGE STARS,

Posted by: Spurwing Plover at March 24, 2010 08:33 PM (ynOCc)

47 I LOVE Grapenuts! Of course it needs sugar on it first. But I eat it with low-fat milk.

Posted by: Eric at March 24, 2010 10:07 PM (Qc/s6)

48 Dear friends welcome to our store: we have a specail offer now which is once you buy any product you can get a free gift as well, these gifts are in the gift area, you can free to choose and please add to the shopping cart, we will send it together with your purchased product. Thanks!

Posted by: saleguccishop at March 25, 2010 12:31 AM (85hwa)

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