Ace of Spades HQ

October 08, 2010

This Just In: The Japanese Will Make a Robot Out Of Anything
— Ace

This video is being labeled "NSFW" but that's not really true.

Yes, it's a robot vagina. But, it's a medical training device, showing doctors how to deliver a baby. And the video shows that. Doctors, in doctor-smocks, delivering a simulated baby.

So, I think you can get away with it at work. I mean, you know, they show this stuff on The Discovery Channel and there it's not even a robot, it's the real thing. Actually: Okay, I guess it probably is NSFW, because, like, no one can afford to lose a job right now. So I guess wait. Unless your employer doesn't mind robot-vagina videos.

But make up your own minds. I gotta say, this is weird. The robot vagina makes these horrific badly-voice-synthesized grunts and moans, I guess to make the simulation more complete, but it's the freakiest thing.

I think you've gotta watch it because it's going to be an internet meme.

Oh, and here's a bonus Ewok picture.

Via the Other McCain, who also has a Krystal Ball for Congress video mash-up, and that one is sorta NSFW, what with horny dick-noses and all.

Posted by: Ace at 08:23 AM | Comments (55)
Post contains 212 words, total size 1 kb.

1 First!

Posted by: Christopher Columbus at October 08, 2010 08:24 AM (5aa4z)

2 And to think, just last night we were discussing the huge female shortage in China. A solution?

Posted by: logprof at October 08, 2010 08:25 AM (BP6Z1)

3
This Just In: The Japanese Will Make a Robot Out Of Anything...
and put boobs on it.

Posted by: Soothsayer at October 08, 2010 08:25 AM (uFokq)

4
...and make it do humiliating things for prizes on television

Posted by: Soothsayer at October 08, 2010 08:26 AM (uFokq)

5 from below- RASMUSSEN FLORIDA RUBIO 50% CRIST 25% MEEK 19%

Posted by: CAC at October 08, 2010 08:26 AM (lV4Fs)

6 That's nice and all, but can it crawl through a pet door? No, didn't think so.

Posted by: EC at October 08, 2010 08:27 AM (mAhn3)

7 Come for the smart military blog. Stay for the robot vagina.

Posted by: WalrusRex at October 08, 2010 08:28 AM (xxgag)

8 Can you put tentacles in it?

Posted by: Ben at October 08, 2010 08:28 AM (wuv1c)

9 Oh. My... passes out.

Posted by: Editor at October 08, 2010 08:28 AM (pUfK9)

10 I watched that K. Ball video and noticed she has her own stupid mock up of the Odipstick logo, and its funny too, ya know cause its a ball.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at October 08, 2010 08:29 AM (ruu60)

So, childbirth sounds like a donkey choking on a vibrator?

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at October 08, 2010 08:29 AM (HaYO4)

12 Is there an over/under yet on how long until the first Japanese lab tech is sacked for mixing business with pleasure with the new 'bot?

Or is it too late for that already?

Posted by: Keith Arnold at October 08, 2010 08:29 AM (Jdtsu)

As long as she doesn't wine and bitch about the stupidest stuff.

Posted by: Ben at October 08, 2010 08:30 AM (wuv1c)

14
This Just In: The Japanese Will Make a Robot Porno Out Of Anything

ftfy

Posted by: Dang Straights at October 08, 2010 08:31 AM (fx8sm)

15 At one time, not more than 70 years ago, Japan was the most feared nation in the East.

Now?

They're making robot va-jay-jays. I wonder if you can bedazzle these ones?

Posted by: EC at October 08, 2010 08:31 AM (mAhn3)

16 Oh my, an Obama The Lightbringer painting is for sale on Craigslist. 100 Bucks. Click on my name for the link

Posted by: Obama The Lightbringer at October 08, 2010 08:31 AM (nTjSs)

17 I wonder if Khystal Ball foresaw this debacle coming?

Posted by: Ben at October 08, 2010 08:32 AM (wuv1c)

18 Rule 34. There Are No Exceptions.

By the way, show of hands: who found the "Multiple Positions" and "Movable Legs" captions a bit... disturbing?

Posted by: Keith Arnold at October 08, 2010 08:32 AM (Jdtsu)

19 Well, that was the driest childbirth ever made. It should have been more accurate, with fluids spurting out, dad passing out in the background, stuff like that.

Posted by: Penfold at October 08, 2010 08:33 AM (1PeEC)

20 OT: but Rubio just hit 50% in the rassmussen poll. Charley the Pitcher sunk to 25%. Meek stayed at 19%

Posted by: robtr at October 08, 2010 08:33 AM (fwSHf)

21 I've been to 2 live births and I'm telling you training with that thing ain't going to help. First you need the thing to be screaming at its husband telling them they are going to kill you and also it needs a fountain of blood shooting across the room.

But the sounds it makes are kinda like the creating of a baby.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at October 08, 2010 08:33 AM (ruu60)

The Greater East Asian Vagina Robot Sphere.

Posted by: Ben at October 08, 2010 08:34 AM (wuv1c)

Rule 34. There Are No Exceptions.

By the way, show of hands: who found the "Multiple Positions" and "Movable Legs" captions a bit... disturbing?

if by disturbing you mean appealing, then yes, yes i did.

Posted by: Ben at October 08, 2010 08:34 AM (wuv1c)

So, childbirth sounds like a donkey choking on a vibrator?

See now, a comment like that just begs the question, how do you know what a donkey choking on a vibrator sounds like?

Then I realize this is probably the next in the Krystal Ball "things I used to do before running for Congress" video series.

Scary stuff.

Posted by: StuckOnStupid at October 08, 2010 08:34 AM (e8T35)

25 Guy Fawkes,

yeah, definitely missing the cursing.

Posted by: Penfold at October 08, 2010 08:35 AM (1PeEC)

26 Come for the doggy style child birth. Stay for the bondage child birth.

Posted by: lorien1973 at October 08, 2010 08:35 AM (IhQuA)

27 A true hero and a much loved baby:

Woman warned she'd die if she didn't have an abortion loses fight for life 13 months after having baby she'd dreamed of

Posted by: momma at October 08, 2010 08:35 AM (penCf)

28 "Hey babe.... you can mechanize my chakra anytime"

Posted by: AL GORE at October 08, 2010 08:35 AM (J5Hcw)

As long as she doesn't wine and bitch about the stupidest stuff.

If it can't fetch beer it isn't worth it IMHO.

Posted by: StuckOnStupid at October 08, 2010 08:36 AM (e8T35)

OT - According to Rasmussen, Marco Rubio has hit 50% and leads Tan in a Can by 25.

I can't provide the link because this minx.cc keeps rejecting it and saying that it's a "long string of unbroken characters" or something.

Just go to Ras' site - it's worth it.

Posted by: Titus Quinctius Cincinnatus at October 08, 2010 08:37 AM (+tRwn)

"...how do you know what a donkey choking on a vibrator sounds like?"

I just realized I might not know what a donkey is. Do they have whiskers?

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at October 08, 2010 08:37 AM (HaYO4)

32 Why is it taking the Taiwanese so long to make an animated version of the robot vagina? Slackers.

Posted by: Matt at October 08, 2010 08:38 AM (ecpMe)

it's a medical training device, showing doctors how to deliver a baby.

That's what it's MEANT to be used for. But give it a week and Japanese adult stores in Akihabara will have imitations of these things lining the shelves, complete with size ranges ("Schoolgirl," "OL (Office Lady)" or "AV Star" sizes). I also foresee a whole new genre of robot vajayjay tentacle porn.

I wonder if this robot vagina delivered that robot baby the Japanese pumped out (no pun intended but COME ON) earlier this year to try and get more people to have babies. It's like a creepier version of Are You My Mother?

Which means... well... It's very Japanese.

Posted by: MWR at October 08, 2010 08:41 AM (4df7R)

Roomba iRobots will bring you a beer, and clean under the coffee-table on their way to the fridge.

robot vacuums > robot cootchiesnortchers

Posted by: reason at October 08, 2010 08:42 AM (+hPIb)

Horny dick noses

BUNK

Posted by: Brawny Fwank at October 08, 2010 08:47 AM (pr+up)

36 Agreed, MWR. It's as if there aren't actual babies being born that doctors could train with.

Posted by: Kevin in ABQ at October 08, 2010 08:48 AM (x81hH)

37 Me likey.

Posted by: Robot Abraham Lincoln at Disney World at October 08, 2010 08:51 AM (QKKT0)

38 Does it make flushing sounds when the robot vagina has to pee?
/japanese cultural reference

Posted by: andycanuck at October 08, 2010 08:52 AM (oLT/p)

39 Does this battery make me look fat?

Posted by: japanese robot vagina at October 08, 2010 08:54 AM (oLT/p)

40 Why did you spend so much time at the party talking to the korean robot tits?

Posted by: japanese robot vagina at October 08, 2010 08:55 AM (oLT/p)

Translated from the Spanish:

My fellow Latinos and Latinas! You must turn out the vote this November. The Republicans, the Japanese, are trying to steal our vagina!

Posted by: Loretta Sanchez (D - CA) at October 08, 2010 09:04 AM (4df7R)

42 Hey! That was just some chick pushing a doll out of half a mannequin! Where the hell's my robot vagina dammit?

Posted by: booger at October 08, 2010 09:07 AM (awinc)

I bet Sean Bielat could build a better robot vagina. It would kill terrorists, too.

Posted by: Robert Stacy McCain at October 08, 2010 09:17 AM (5czt6)

44 You can't un-hear things like this either.

Posted by: MoJoTee at October 08, 2010 09:20 AM (uGBn8)

As long as she doesn't wine and bitch about the stupidest stuff.

Posted by: Ben at October 08, 2010 12:30 PM (wuv1c)

--Stale resets on things that are obvious

Posted by: logprof at October 08, 2010 09:24 AM (BP6Z1)

46 Yeah, but can it hold half a dozen primo Cuban smokes?

Posted by: Bill Clinton, keepin' on the downlow from you-know-who at October 08, 2010 09:24 AM (zF6Iw)

47
The noises that thing makes. Damn. Shrieking would be better.

Posted by: Ronsonic at October 08, 2010 09:25 AM (VTm+A)

48 They've need a little more work on the sound effects.

Posted by: profligatewaste at October 08, 2010 09:26 AM (b3rrc)

49 The Krystal Ball ad was hilarious. Robot vagina was kinda disturbing; I didn't realize women made moose calls during delivery.

Posted by: Dr Spank at October 08, 2010 09:26 AM (OdSjh)

50 Hey, GI! Me love you long time! Extended wear guarantee, no shit!

Posted by: Vietnamese robot vagina at October 08, 2010 09:26 AM (zF6Iw)

51 Human chicks are better: this thing will never be up to making sandwich's a day later!

Posted by: /WickedPinto at October 08, 2010 09:29 AM (uGBn8)

52
The Field Museum, in Chicago, has a full-sized Japanese robot of a Tyrannosaurus rex, and another of a triceratops. They're very cool. The tyrannosaur will pick out an individual from the crowd in front of it, and follow that person as he moves around, and roar. Rather scary, that, and quite effective.

Posted by: Brown Line at October 08, 2010 09:37 AM (BFeDS)

Multiple positions

Forceps

Securing straps

Force monitoring

Oh yeah, they knew what they were doing....

Posted by: Pervy Grin at October 08, 2010 11:38 AM (OxKj2)

54 What will they think of next! I don't want to think about what they will think of next!

Posted by: Reiki Training at October 08, 2010 11:43 AM (LVdnd)

55 thsrth srthhsrt

Posted by: cheap mobile phones at June 30, 2011 04:32 PM (UWkmA)

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