April 29, 2010
— Ace His marriage was supposed to be par one, but he had a little trouble in the rough and dick-shanked into a few strange-bunkers and wound up up at +121.
121. In five years. Though he says he can make up for some of that by being disciplined on the back nine.
The odd thing is that his wife would have forgiven him, apparently, if he had just kept it to 120.
Legal sources told US paper the National Enquirer: “When Tiger was in rehab for sex addiction, he filled out four pages, listing the amount of women he’d had affairs with – there were 121 in all.”Now, after talking to top US divorce lawyers, Erin, 30, has reportedly drawn up divorce papers. They are said to cite his confession, made when she joined him for his rehab clinic “family week”.
This included a “disclosure day” when a tearful Woods allegedly owned up to the flings as part of his treatment.
But legal sources say it is the failure to name his claimed youngest one-night stand, 22-year-old Racychel Coudriet, that is said to have finally prompted the former model to file for divorce. This reported romp with a neighbours’ daughter later made headlines to add to a string of affairs which had become public, including one with New Yorker Rachel Uchitel, 34.The source went on: “Raychel Coudriet was not on the list. After Elin found out about her she told Tiger their marriage is definitely over. There is no room for reconciliation any more.”
How the hell did he remember them all?
Hey, Check This Chick Out: Pretty nasty, but she has Tiger Woods beat.
She's charged with having sex with a horse. Also, she gave a sexually transmitted disease to a guy, and also, to his Jack Russel Terrier, too, and not through petting, either.
In related news, she'll be competing on Rock of Love next season.
Posted by: Ace at
12:46 PM
| Comments (260)
Post contains 336 words, total size 2 kb.
This is a good time for me to express my disdain for Gloria Allred, who is th emost despicable person on the planet.
Posted by: Loopy de Loop at April 29, 2010 12:49 PM (uFokq)
Posted by: A normal husband at April 29, 2010 12:50 PM (IhQuA)
Posted by: reason at April 29, 2010 12:51 PM (5npD/)
Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at April 29, 2010 12:51 PM (S/HSv)
Posted by: rdbrewer at April 29, 2010 12:51 PM (ajjrO)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 29, 2010 12:52 PM (UOM48)
He probably didn't remember them all, but I bet he heard from quite a few of his "conquests" when all of this shit hit the fan.
Posted by: Cooper at April 29, 2010 12:52 PM (DXHVe)
24.2/12 = 2.02/month
He did, on average, a new chick every two weeks for five years. And that doesn't count multiple go-rounds, just initial contact.
I am seriously surprised he doesn't have a major STD.
Posted by: grognard at April 29, 2010 12:52 PM (v0kvW)
Some of them were at the same time..2-3-4 at a time...it's a tough gig
Posted by: beerologist at April 29, 2010 12:53 PM (tgXx6)
Posted by: Benson at April 29, 2010 12:53 PM (qzcNU)
They gave him his own, special suite at the clinic, right? He just copied them off his bedpost. It was King Kong sized, BTW.
Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at April 29, 2010 12:54 PM (swuwV)
Posted by: HeatherRadish at April 29, 2010 12:55 PM (mR7mk)
So, theoretically, there could be 121 little Tiger Woods running around.
In 20 years we may have a bevy of world class golfers.
Kinda like 'Boys from Brazil' but not evil.
Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 29, 2010 12:55 PM (0QJjg)
He averaged a new chick every 15 days. That doesn't mean he dumped one every 15 days.
Posted by: Waterhouse at April 29, 2010 12:55 PM (rOd1g)
Posted by: dogfish at April 29, 2010 12:55 PM (sGaoh)
Posted by: grognard at April 29, 2010 12:56 PM (v0kvW)
Posted by: Bill D. Cat at April 29, 2010 12:56 PM (a9UO0)
Posted by: FUBAR at April 29, 2010 12:56 PM (1fanL)
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 29, 2010 12:56 PM (ZSVyF)
*cough* ...so long as we're at it...here's the list of guys...
*thumps down another stack of papers*
...and....uh...remember that trip we took to Sea World...?
Posted by: Tiger Woods at April 29, 2010 12:56 PM (5npD/)
Posted by: dogfish at April 29, 2010 12:57 PM (sGaoh)
Posted by: Y-not at April 29, 2010 12:58 PM (Kn9r7)
Posted by: HeatherRadish at April 29, 2010 12:58 PM (mR7mk)
Prior to that, I confess to dilly dallying. But 121? I didn't even shoot that on one of the toughest public course in Ohio this morning.
Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at April 29, 2010 12:59 PM (B2cao)
Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at April 29, 2010 12:59 PM (swuwV)
Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 29, 2010 12:59 PM (RZ8pf)
That is what his wife should damn be worried about.
Posted by: Vic at April 29, 2010 12:59 PM (QrA9E)
Wow. That's a crotch that even I don't want to smell...
Posted by: Toby the Beagle at April 29, 2010 12:59 PM (5npD/)
Posted by: grognard at April 29, 2010 01:01 PM (v0kvW)
He played the odds right. You don't get diseases from whores; you get them from the neighbor's daughter. If he was keeping his whore/daughter ratio at about 100/1, he could probably have racked up about 700 before he caught anything serious. At his rate, that's around retirement (from whores) age.
Remember, he's an Asian dork. He can do math.
Posted by: oblig. at April 29, 2010 01:01 PM (x7Ao8)
Posted by: Jack M. at April 29, 2010 01:02 PM (Ncr1R)
Posted by: grognard at April 29, 2010 05:01 PM (v0kvW)
What, you don't think these were high-class ladies?
Posted by: FUBAR at April 29, 2010 01:02 PM (1fanL)
What, you don't think these were
high-class ladies?
Posted by: FUBAR at April 29, 2010 05:02 PM (1fanL)
They obviously didn't think much of themselves.
Posted by: grognard at April 29, 2010 01:03 PM (v0kvW)
How the hell did he remember them all?
same way a serial rapist or serial killer remembers all their victims down to the smallest detail.......its all about POWER
with all his fame and money he wanted power over others
too harsh? oh well
Posted by: policiademarinajose at April 29, 2010 01:03 PM (gg4j2)
Oh, and I'm going to guess that it wasn't the number as much as the fact she was someone Elin knew and probably socialized with, and possibly the sex probably happened when Tiger was at home. Anonymous cocktail waitresses in another town are one thing, but banging a neighbor you talk shoes with while you're changing diapers next door is something else altogether.
Posted by: HeatherRadish at April 29, 2010 01:04 PM (mR7mk)
They obviously didn't think much of
themselves.
Posted by: grognard at April 29, 2010 05:03 PM (v0kvW)
It's clear that you don't understand the mindset of the modern, empowered wymyn.
Posted by: FUBAR at April 29, 2010 01:04 PM (1fanL)
And the pink Silky Pony doll on the shelf over Orca's shoulder was priceless.
I have to say one thing for Elin, she hasn't paraded her story around.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 29, 2010 01:04 PM (UOM48)
The odd thing is that his wife would have forgiven him, apparently, if he had just kept it to 120.
As I read the article the total number was actually 122 The number he admitted to in therapy was 121, and Elin left because he didn't admit to doing the next door neighbor's daughter (#122).Posted by: Jon at April 29, 2010 01:04 PM (Xt7UU)
Posted by: grognard
I think you're being presumptuous.
Posted by: el Z Ryan at April 29, 2010 01:04 PM (cMo6P)
he should do endorsements for the rubbers he used
i am amazed there aren't at least 50 little tigers running around
whatever he used worked well
Posted by: policiademarinajose at April 29, 2010 01:06 PM (gg4j2)
Posted by: el
Z Ryan at April 29, 2010 05:04 PM (cMo6P)
Excellent point.
Posted by: grognard at April 29, 2010 01:06 PM (v0kvW)
Posted by: Bawney Fwank at April 29, 2010 01:06 PM (eoYse)
Posted by: GarandFan at April 29, 2010 01:06 PM (6mwMs)
The boy is sick. He's nailing porn stars. His dick is likely as infested with flora as is Contessa Brewer's cleavage and chin folds.
Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at April 29, 2010 01:06 PM (B2cao)
It's been reported he was able to pressure them to invoke their "right to choose" at least once.
Posted by: HeatherRadish at April 29, 2010 01:06 PM (mR7mk)
Good thing Elin's not a good ol' girl. That falls under the "needed killin'" rule.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 29, 2010 01:07 PM (UOM48)
Posted by: Y-not at April 29, 2010 01:08 PM (Kn9r7)
Posted by: Wilt Chamberlain at April 29, 2010 01:08 PM (iV4X6)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 29, 2010 01:08 PM (UOM48)
Really, until you've walked a mile in the golf shoes of those who carry this particular nomenclarturic fetish, who are you to judge?
Posted by: Jack M.
One day my roommate and I realized we each had the numbers of a bunch of girls all named "Rachel" or "Rachael." Sadly, our idea of having a party and only inviting the Rach(a)els to see how long it would take them to notice never came to fruition.
Posted by: el Z Ryan at April 29, 2010 01:08 PM (cMo6P)
In that type of situation, when you are claiming to be honest and getting help, and someone is giving you benefit of the doubt you clearly don't deserve, ANY kind of lie, even unintentional, is DOOM.
It might have been an intentional omission on his part, or it might have been on purpose - but whatever his intent, it made her realize that there was absolutely no way he could be trusted. Ever.
Posted by: grognard at April 29, 2010 01:09 PM (v0kvW)
"I have to say one thing for Elin, she hasn't paraded her story around."
I keep her warm at night.
Posted by: scruples at April 29, 2010 01:09 PM (5npD/)
How you doin'?
Posted by: Rachel-not at April 29, 2010 01:09 PM (Kn9r7)
Nos. 88-96: Girl Scout Troop 854, Racine Wisconsin
Posted by: Tiger Woods at April 29, 2010 01:09 PM (QKKT0)
Posted by: Burn the Witch at April 29, 2010 01:09 PM (fLHQe)
Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 29, 2010 04:59 PM (RZ8pf)
When getting new stuff every two weeks, it should be pretty easy to maintain an erection. It is live participation porn.
Posted by: Vashta.Nerada at April 29, 2010 01:10 PM (AX3vC)
Posted by: Truman North at April 29, 2010 01:10 PM (e8YaH)
Posted by: Jane D'oh
Yeah. How did this not end up like that first episode of Justified? Tiger at the kitchen table...
Posted by: el Z Ryan at April 29, 2010 01:10 PM (cMo6P)
The porn star claimed she got pregnant. That's bullshit. We all know they swallow that stuff.
Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at April 29, 2010 01:10 PM (B2cao)
The next door neighbor's daughter was the last straw because he tried to hide it until the very end, after, most likely, swearing up and down that there was only 14, no 20, no 33, no 57 no, one hundred and twenty friggin one! Therapists who work with troubled marriages call this crap "trickle truth" because it comes out in a bit at a time, leaving the betrayed spouse on edge waiting for the rest of the shoes to drop.
Other reason why the neighbor's daughter was the last straw...it was the neighbor's daughter, somebody right on their street, a friend, maybe even the babysitter on occasion. It's bad enough to step out when you're out of town, but doing it right in your home, right in your bed is something else.
I hope she takes him for every dime. If he wanted to screw around, he could have gotten a divorce, or not gotten married in the first place.
Posted by: vivi at April 29, 2010 01:11 PM (84HQT)
73 i married a hillbilly
if she caught me tapping 122, she would double tap me with a .22
IYKWIMAITYD
Posted by: policiademarinajose at April 29, 2010 01:11 PM (gg4j2)
nomenclarturic fetish
I had a friend in college who only dated "Mikes" so apparently some people do actually have this fetish.
Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 29, 2010 01:12 PM (RZ8pf)
I only played the back nine, IYKWIMAITYD.
Posted by: Tiger Woods at April 29, 2010 01:12 PM (rOd1g)
Posted by: el Z Ryan at April 29, 2010 01:13 PM (cMo6P)
Seriously, even if he hadn't shagged the neighbor's daughter, is 120 a forgivable number?
I don't know how the hell you'd quantify something like that, but 120 seems way past the mark.
Posted by: Burn the Witch at April 29, 2010 01:13 PM (fLHQe)
"How in the ever loving fuck do I reload this piece of shit?" <----- The last words heard by Herr Morgenholz
Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at April 29, 2010 01:13 PM (B2cao)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 29, 2010 01:13 PM (UOM48)
Posted by: Elin at April 29, 2010 01:14 PM (4XzsU)
Posted by: joncelli at April 29, 2010 01:14 PM (RD7QR)
Bingo. When I went into treatment, I hit rock bottom, and I spilled my guts. I offered as much information as I could without being graphic, and then answered every single question without hesitation.
I took treatment seriously. Things aren't perfect but we're still together and maybe one day I'll have gained back some measure of trust.
Posted by: grognard at April 29, 2010 01:15 PM (v0kvW)
Interesting fact: A Chinese checkers board has 121 holes
The Stooges song “We Will Fall” includes the lyrics “Don't forget to come. Room 121.”
Hmm.
Thanks, Wikipedia!
Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 29, 2010 01:16 PM (0QJjg)
98 If Tiger wasn't Tiger he'd be some dork going home from work every night alone watching pron.
so what you saying is kratos needs to learn golf?
Posted by: policiademarinajose at April 29, 2010 01:16 PM (gg4j2)
Yeah. I'm not sure what a forgivable number is, for me, anyway. I guess it depends on circumstances to some extent, but I think I'd have trouble with even one.
In a way he did her a favor. She should get anything and everything she wants in the divorce... unless we really are to believe that people are accepting the "it's a disease" crap he (and now Big Ben) are peddling.
Posted by: Y-not at April 29, 2010 01:16 PM (Kn9r7)
Listen, there weren't 121 AFFAIRS, there were 121 women he fucked.
Some of them were whores, some of them party girls, and some confused, infatuated one night stands.
Those aren't affairs.
The only reason this is a public problem is because Elin didn't want to go along (and who can blame her).
He's just younger and more spread out than most rich dudes getting a little side-action.
Posted by: s'moron at April 29, 2010 01:16 PM (UaxA0)
He didn't remember a fraction. Those are the repeat performances he kept on the speed dial. He's probably in Gene Simmons territory when you calculate total dick shanks.
Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at April 29, 2010 01:16 PM (cniXs)
Posted by: el Z Ryan at April 29, 2010 01:17 PM (cMo6P)
nomenclarturic fetish
I had a friend in college who only dated "Mikes" so apparently some people do actually have this fetish.
After I broke up with my fifth Melissa in college, I realized that I had a problem. And that problem was: Girls named Melissa be CRAZY BISHES!
Posted by: reason at April 29, 2010 01:17 PM (q/kmn)
Posted by: s'moron at April 29, 2010 05:16 PM (UaxA0)
Is that you, Eddie Murphy?
Posted by: FUBAR at April 29, 2010 01:18 PM (1fanL)
I would like to marry you.
If you say yes, I promise to cheat of you with 120 women or less.
Please let me know your decision soon,
Doc
Posted by: Doc at April 29, 2010 01:19 PM (WKOg4)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 29, 2010 01:19 PM (UOM48)
It's practical - no worries about screaming out the wrong name.
Posted by: Waterhouse at April 29, 2010 01:20 PM (rOd1g)
Posted by: General Secretary Tiger Woods at April 29, 2010 01:20 PM (epBek)
Golf This Way
I-HOP sweetie with a sassy kinda classy
Little skirt's climbin' way up the knee
It was three young ladies in a golf course locker
When I noticed they were lookin' at me
I was a high school loser never made it with a lady
'Til the boys told me something I missed
Then my next door neighbor with a daughter had a favor
So I gave her just a little kiss
A like this
Posted by: Mr. Barky at April 29, 2010 01:20 PM (qwK3S)
Posted by: Amanda Kijera, civic journalist and activist in Haiti at April 29, 2010 01:21 PM (swuwV)
is there a formula? Square root of net worth in millions? eight times circumference of pecker? handicap x shoe size?
common moronettes, put us morons some knowledge so we know when to stop. Tell us ... for the children,...
Posted by: nine coconuts at April 29, 2010 01:21 PM (DHNp4)
Posted by: Jack M. at April 29, 2010 01:21 PM (Ncr1R)
I would like to marry you.
If you say yes, I promise to cheat of you with 120 women or less between multiple rounds of golf.
I'm sticking up for you, bro.
Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at April 29, 2010 01:22 PM (B2cao)
40 For all the moronettes who are now thinking I'm a perverted pig
Please. Any regular here obviously has a sense of humor. Well, except for some-fuckity fuck fuck-guy.
Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at April 29, 2010 01:22 PM (cniXs)
Yeah. And the PGA is still peddling him. OK, on the course during a match, that's one thing, but the lead up to Quail Hollow was virtually non-stop Tiger coverage. The part that sickened me the most was the images the PGA posted of little kids, boys mostly, staring up at the pig adoringly. Seeing Michael Jordan the enabler's ugly mug didn't help much either.
Stick to covering the game, PGA.
Posted by: Y-not at April 29, 2010 01:22 PM (Kn9r7)
Posted by: John Edwards at April 29, 2010 01:22 PM (UOM48)
Pretty sure it's the net worth thing.
Posted by: FUBAR at April 29, 2010 01:22 PM (1fanL)
Bid my time, completely classless
Dropped by the misses, now I'm back on feet
Just a man and his will to fuck anything that moves
So many times it happened so fast
You change your passion for glory (hole)
Don't lose your grip on the girls of the past
You must fight just to keep them away from each other
It's the Eye of the Tiger, it's the cream of some guy
Rising up to the challenge with Ambian
And the last known survivor stalks his prey on voicemail
And I'm watching you all in the.... Eye of the Tiger
Posted by: Survivor at April 29, 2010 01:23 PM (pUfK9)
Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 29, 2010 01:23 PM (0QJjg)
Rock of Love will have to make sure their slut puppies look decent in a nurses' uniform. I think Brett will still be in drool mode by then.
(wut? you were thinking it too!!)
Posted by: laceyunderalls at April 29, 2010 01:24 PM (pLTLS)
"I don't know how the hell you'd quantify something like that, but 120 seems way past the mark."
To drop everyone a little perspective...we're talking roughly the entire coach-class cabin on an MD-80 jetliner.
Yeah.
Posted by: reason at April 29, 2010 01:24 PM (q/kmn)
Posted by: el Z Ryan at April 29, 2010 01:25 PM (cMo6P)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 29, 2010 01:25 PM (UOM48)
61 The odd thing is that his wife would have forgiven him, apparently, if he had just kept it to 120.
I think its more he was supposed to come clean as part of his "recovery" and this proved he is still lying through his teeth.
Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at April 29, 2010 01:25 PM (cniXs)
The fact is that Tiger might have gotten Elin back if he had a few more and finished on a good one. Better luck next time, Tiger.
Posted by: progressoverpeace at April 29, 2010 01:25 PM (Qp4DT)
Posted by: reason at April 29, 2010 01:26 PM (q/kmn)
Yeah, his poor mom, aka "the human prop." It was disgusting the way he dragged her out for his big come clean press conference. And dragged her religion into it to use that as a prop as well.
But I gather that the dad was a philanderer, too, so I guess the family dynamics weren't the best.
Poor kids.
Posted by: Y-not at April 29, 2010 01:27 PM (Kn9r7)
Posted by: Ronster at April 29, 2010 01:27 PM (I+U8m)
Wasn't his dad a player?
Yes, apple didn't fall far from the tree in that family. Or the coconut tree. Whatever. I can't keep his heritage straight.
Posted by: laceyunderalls at April 29, 2010 01:28 PM (pLTLS)
121? You're basically still a virgin.
Posted by: Gene Simmons at April 29, 2010 01:28 PM (gxpfq)
Posted by: Racychel Coudriet, model/actress at April 29, 2010 01:28 PM (4Kl5M)
Rock of Love will have to make sure their slut puppies look decent in a nurses' uniform. I think Brett will still be in drool mode by then.
(wut? you were thinking it too!!)
Posted by: laceyunderalls at April 29, 2010 05:24 PM (pLTLS)
Poison fan, huh? You loves you some big hair?
Posted by: FUBAR at April 29, 2010 01:28 PM (1fanL)
Because of Kerner's alleged sexual activities with other men and animals, the informant, who had dated the woman, and his Jack Russell terrier both contracted sexually transmitted diseases, court documents state.
That really is some kind of special.
Posted by: Santiago en San Diego at April 29, 2010 01:28 PM (F09Uo)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 29, 2010 01:30 PM (UOM48)
Posted by: Dr Mabuse at April 29, 2010 01:30 PM (CPdUf)
Jack M. IÂ’m going to go with anything over 3 takes it into fetish territory. Especially if there are no relationships with other names in between.
Of course, with TigerÂ’s number of sexual partners, IÂ’d think it is more a statistical chance than a fetishÂ…
Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 29, 2010 01:30 PM (RZ8pf)
It's even true in this thread - Tiger has 121 notches, yet there's a chick somewhere that's into animals and gave a disease to a terrier.
So, as bad as Tiger was, who was worse in his rehab group? Because - there *was* someone worse.
Posted by: grognard at April 29, 2010 01:30 PM (v0kvW)
Posted by: Random Voter at April 29, 2010 01:31 PM (ajjrO)
“As someone who has been the victim of racial profiling, there must be a necessary sensitivity to that issue,” he said. “And understanding that any perception of racism in law becomes racism in fact for the individual who is the subject of that law. And so that is an important aspect of this law as well that I know our leadership is very, very sensitive to.”
He likes to pull out his race card a lot.
Posted by: TC at April 29, 2010 01:31 PM (4XzsU)
Posted by: anon at April 29, 2010 01:32 PM (j/wD+)
Speaking of Whitesnake a FOAFOAF was such a fan he named his son Tawmmy after Tawny Kitaen.
This was in North Carolina, by the way.
Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 29, 2010 01:32 PM (0QJjg)
OK, I’m going to be totally crass here, but women and farm animals? I mean it’s not like the pig is just sitting in its sty thinking “hey that’s a hunka hunka burnin love and I’ve got to gets me some.”
Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 29, 2010 01:34 PM (RZ8pf)
put us morons some knowledge so we know when to stop.
At this point, one is a deal breaker. If you don't want to keep it in your pants don't date anyone seriously or get married.
Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at April 29, 2010 01:34 PM (cniXs)
"One obvious advantage to dating people with the same name is that it's easier to remember their name."
One distinct disadvantage is when you're sitting around with friends, and tell a funny anecdote about the wrong one.
"...don't you remember that, hun...?"
"No...my parents don't have a pool..."
*awkward silence*
Posted by: reason at April 29, 2010 01:34 PM (q/kmn)
We're screwed. And I'm so angry I could stroke out right now.
Back to Tigah!
Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 29, 2010 01:34 PM (UOM48)
Whitesnake. Tawny Kitaen style.
Posted by: laceyunderalls at April 29, 2010 05:30 PM (pLTLS)
There you go again on your pwn. Anybody remember the stadium organ player who got fired for playing that song when Chuck Finley was at bat?
Posted by: FUBAR at April 29, 2010 01:34 PM (1fanL)
We had the giant house eating snails in FL; now we have giant racoons in Chitown
http://tinyurl.com/23sn58r
Posted by: Vic at April 29, 2010 01:38 PM (QrA9E)
Posted by: Soap MacTavish at April 29, 2010 01:39 PM (554T5)
Nice of Steele not to mention those were Democrat voters throwing Oreos at him. Gah.
Posted by: HeatherRadish at April 29, 2010 01:39 PM (mR7mk)
Posted by: Soap MacTavish at April 29, 2010 05:39 PM (554T5)
Typo. Elin.
Posted by: FUBAR at April 29, 2010 01:40 PM (1fanL)
Posted by: Toby the Beagle at April 29, 2010 01:41 PM (q/kmn)
Posted by: curious at April 29, 2010 01:41 PM (p302b)
"Nice of Steele not to mention those were Democrat voters throwing Oreos at him."
Hey! Hey now. Let's not lower ourselves to Political Profiling. /snark
Posted by: reason at April 29, 2010 01:43 PM (q/kmn)
Okay, yeah, she fucked the horse, but when she fucked the pig, that was totally it.
Posted by: Pig Bigot at April 29, 2010 01:43 PM (ajjrO)
Posted by: Sonnyspats1 at April 29, 2010 01:43 PM (68tQb)
Posted by: HeatherRadish at April 29, 2010 01:43 PM (mR7mk)
Posted by: rdbrewer at April 29, 2010 01:44 PM (ajjrO)
Posted by: fb at April 29, 2010 01:44 PM (G60Nl)
Heh. That got me thinking about rabies. Then, I started thinking about some mutated super rabies that would be more virulent and have a much shorter incubation period.
ZOMBIES!
Posted by: MikeO at April 29, 2010 01:44 PM (lBmZl)
161 P.S. Tawny has not aged well.
Probably because she does drugs like the donkey in Bachelor Party.
Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at April 29, 2010 01:45 PM (cniXs)
Posted by: ReallyOldGuy at April 29, 2010 01:45 PM (kNiZP)
She's charged with having sex with a horse. Also, she gave a sexually transmitted disease to a guy, and also, to his Jack Russel Terrier, too, and not through petting, either.
That's one affair the guy won't forget. Or his dog.
Posted by: theCork at April 29, 2010 01:46 PM (zL5Q1)
I feel sorry for that Jack Russell.
He was tricked!!!
Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 29, 2010 05:29 PM (0QJjg)
He was peer-pressured into it by the horse. Obviously the dog was trying to keep up with the pig.
I can't believe I just wrote that
Posted by: Santiago en San Diego at April 29, 2010 01:48 PM (F09Uo)
Posted by: Upscale Community Organizing Thought Criminal
On what grounds? It's not like they were anything except volunteers?
Posted by: Dianna at April 29, 2010 01:52 PM (qrFCz)
Posted by: Ombudsman at April 29, 2010 01:52 PM (y4B2y)
Posted by: anon at April 29, 2010 01:54 PM (j/wD+)
Posted by: Ombudsman at April 29, 2010 01:57 PM (y4B2y)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 29, 2010 01:59 PM (UOM48)
183 He has Planned Parenthood on speed dial?
As for that woman: Eeeewwwww, Gawd, that's disgusting....just disgusting
Posted by: unknown jane at April 29, 2010 02:01 PM (5/yRG)
Slight nit to pick: "Over par" refers to the number of strokes per hole based on an established average. It doesn't refer to the number of holes played, which was Tiger's problem.
Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at April 29, 2010 02:01 PM (kmEfr)
I don't think there's a Hollywood actress pretty enough to play Elin. The girl is gorgeous.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 29, 2010 02:01 PM (UOM48)
178 He was peer-pressured into it by the horse. Obviously the dog was trying to keep up with the pig.
I can't believe I just wrote that
Disgusting. And very funny.
Posted by: theCork at April 29, 2010 02:02 PM (zL5Q1)
I don't believe the porn star. Did you see her press conference, dressed in a demure skirt and blouse, eyes cast downward at the table, as Gloria Allred pontificated about how Tiger owed her an apology for embarrassing her? Um....she's a PORN STAR. A Public Fornicator. I think her starring role in Backdoor Babes Part 32 pretty much sealed the deal on public embarrassment.
Posted by: Ombudsman at April 29, 2010 02:02 PM (y4B2y)
Posted by: Whore #117 at April 29, 2010 02:05 PM (ajjrO)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 29, 2010 02:07 PM (UOM48)
Posted by: Whore #55 at April 29, 2010 02:07 PM (ajjrO)
At this point, one is a deal breaker. If you don't want to keep it in your pants don't date anyone seriously or get married.
Posted by: bebe's boobs destroyYep.
If you've got me at home, you sure as hell do not need to be getting any somewhere else.
Posted by: Dianna at April 29, 2010 02:08 PM (qrFCz)
Hope they stock Plan B in the dispensary
Posted by: Ombudsman at April 29, 2010 02:08 PM (y4B2y)
"I would never, never fuck a guy just because he's famous and rich. Besides, he told me I was the only one."
Posted by: Whore #63 at April 29, 2010 02:08 PM (ajjrO)
I think that function comes out as a patch in EA Sports Tiger Woods PGA Tour '11. Everyone should upgrade now.
Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at April 29, 2010 02:10 PM (swuwV)
What you're seeing is an open window into the psyche of a certain type of man. Most men would be ecstatic to have a woman like Elin at home. But for a certain type of guy, novelty, variety, and the thrill of the hunt trump all.
Posted by: Ombudsman at April 29, 2010 02:11 PM (y4B2y)
Posted by: Whore #108 at April 29, 2010 02:11 PM (ajjrO)
So, um, where does one enlist?
Posted by: Tiger's Wood at April 29, 2010 02:13 PM (swuwV)
Posted by: Ombudsman at April 29, 2010 02:13 PM (y4B2y)
Posted by: chemjeff at April 29, 2010 02:14 PM (Gk/wA)
But for a certain type of guy, novelty, variety, and the thrill of the hunt trump all.
Give me a break. It says just as much about women. I know, because every time I want variety and thrill I [don't] get swarmed by hordes of beautiful women, since I'm [not] rich and famous.
According to Ombudsman, all you have to do is be horny to get laid any time you want--you just have to be one of those types of guys.
Posted by: rdbrewer at April 29, 2010 02:14 PM (ajjrO)
Posted by: rdbrewer at April 29, 2010 02:16 PM (ajjrO)
Posted by: Whore #87 at April 29, 2010 02:20 PM (ajjrO)
I don't believe the porn star.
Hell yeah, buddy. Everybody knows you finish on their face! Besides, Plan B is my Plan A, know what I mean. High five!
Posted by: Tiger at April 29, 2010 02:21 PM (W5NBA)
Posted by: Ombudsman at April 29, 2010 06:11 PM (y4B2y)
*slowly gets up from computer and slinks into the other room*
Posted by: a moron with a guilty conscience at April 29, 2010 02:23 PM (YVZlY)
Posted by: goddessoftheclassroom at April 29, 2010 02:23 PM (sFoSW)
Posted by: chemjeff at April 29, 2010 06:14 PM (Gk/wA)
I'm guessing the pig. He ought to get checked.
Posted by: theCork at April 29, 2010 02:34 PM (zL5Q1)
Posted by: bi-someguy at April 29, 2010 02:38 PM (iV4X6)
Posted by: dulce at April 29, 2010 02:38 PM (HFdqI)
Posted by: Mr. Barky at April 29, 2010 02:40 PM (qwK3S)
Posted by: zombie murtha at April 29, 2010 02:40 PM (iV4X6)
Posted by: Mr. Barky at April 29, 2010 02:42 PM (qwK3S)
No matter how hot the bitch is, someone, somewhere is sick of her shit.
Elin must have a lot of shit that the Tigger had to deal with.
Posted by: s'moron at April 29, 2010 02:49 PM (UaxA0)
Posted by: Jon at April 29, 2010 02:51 PM (rq8mq)
Posted by: Golf My Balls at April 29, 2010 02:52 PM (vclH5)
Posted by: Whore #18 at April 29, 2010 02:53 PM (ajjrO)
Posted by: Draki at April 29, 2010 02:56 PM (PVqdV)
"I'm in love with my grandson and we're having a baby!"
When 72-year-old Pearl met her grandson, little did she realise she'd soon be 'pregnant' with his child
Pearl Carter is positively glowing with joy. She has a handsome new boyfriend, is enjoying an active sex life after many years of celibacy and, amazingly, is preparing to become a mother again.
Suddenly, having sex with multiple farm animals doesn't look so bad, or as bad, or something.
Posted by: El Diablo Blanco Con Ojos Azules en San Diego at April 29, 2010 03:03 PM (F09Uo)
If I were Tiger's Attorney I'd file a lawsuit against the Porn Industry:
Babysitters, Neighbor's Daughter, Party Girls, Co-Eds, Actresses, Hostesses, Waitresses, I'm sure there were a few Hitchhikers, Nurses, Teachers and Boss's Wives in there, too...maybe even a Tutor or Hot Female Pirate!?
He was merely acting out the scripts of the countless Pornographic Filmss he had watched in a lifetime of being an American male. Who amongst us could argue this fact?
He was defenseless. He knew only how women were portrayed in Pornography and reacted, he thought, appropriately. It would be rude, to act otherwise.
The same affect is causing doubtless harm to our children who are exposed to Violent Video Games and Movie Themes. Study after study shows the direct correlation between consumption of Violent themed entertainment and Violent Crime.
My Client's behaviour must be seen in the same light.
The Entertainment industry is to Blame. Specifically,the Pornography industry is to Blame.
Don't blame my Client. Blame Bob Guccione Jr., Blame Larry Flynt, Blame Ron Jeremy and Peter North !
Blame the Corporate Giant that poisons the minds of American Men!
- Blame Big Cock.
Posted by: garrett representing Tiger at April 29, 2010 03:04 PM (/ZAVZ)
Posted by: Draki at April 29, 2010 06:56 PM (PVqdV)
If I was Tiger Woods, and had as low of standards as he does, I so could have topped that!
Posted by: El Diablo Blanco Con Ojos Azules en San Diego at April 29, 2010 03:04 PM (F09Uo)
Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 29, 2010 06:55 PM (0QJjg)
Clearly she loved this guy for his livestock.
Posted by: theCork at April 29, 2010 03:07 PM (zL5Q1)
Clearly she loved this guy for his livestock.
Posted by: theCork at April 29, 2010 07:07 PM (zL5Q1)
That would make me feel bad that my gf was only using me to get to my pig, or my dog.
Posted by: El Diablo Blanco Con Ojos Azules en San Diego at April 29, 2010 03:08 PM (F09Uo)
Yeah, I'm kinda wondering how you miss that many signals. No one can hide his weaseling that well or park the porpoise so subtly. I mean, that was one busy Rumpleforeskin. (Credit goes to Mrs. Doubtfire who could spot BS from a blimp.)
Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at April 29, 2010 03:11 PM (swuwV)
Posted by: theCork at April 29, 2010 03:19 PM (zL5Q1)
Posted by: theCork at April 29, 2010 07:19 PM (zL5Q1)
In further checking, you might be right, It now seems to be originally sourced to a satire website.
Damn! I hate getting punked.
Posted by: El Diablo Blanco Con Ojos Azules en San Diego at April 29, 2010 03:31 PM (F09Uo)
Posted by: stuiec at April 29, 2010 04:04 PM (W+GYq)
Posted by: Herr Morgenholz
Yeah, I stood next to her for a while at Tiger's tournament in Thousand Oaks. She was only his girlfriend at the time. She was cute, but not Nearly the hottest female in the crowd. Granted, it is Thousand Oaks (about an hour from LA / Hollywood), but still. Professional photographers can work some serious magic.
Posted by: Terry at April 29, 2010 04:19 PM (TJ8HB)
"My woman left me for a bright-eyed Jack Russell Terrier and nobody seems to care....." -Led Zepplin
Posted by: memomachine at April 29, 2010 04:30 PM (MwCol)
Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at April 29, 2010 04:36 PM (Q75cY)
Posted by: moi at April 29, 2010 05:15 PM (Ez4Ql)
That is what his wife should damn be worried about.
Posted by: Vic at April 29, 2010 04:59 PM (QrA9E)
Who says he didn't? Maybe that's what the golf-club-over-the-head incident that started this whole thing was really all about. Or finding out there was a Tiny Tiger or two, or three, out there.
Posted by: Average Jen at April 29, 2010 05:24 PM (fRnux)
Unbelievable.
And we see it over and over again too.
Posted by: Schlippy at April 29, 2010 05:53 PM (Bv9IO)
One obvious advantage to dating people with the same name is that it's easier to remember their name.
What's even worse is trying to remember the color of their eyes.
There's nothing worse than talking to the b*tch on the phone when she starts asking you what color her eyes are - "You do remember what color my eyes are, don't you?" - ugh, what an unmitigated f***ing nightmare that conversation always is.
I've dated b*tches, in multi-year relationships, and couldn't [reliably] tell you the color of their eyes to save my life.
Posted by: Lindsey Grahamnesty licking Rahm Emanuel's sweet hairy balls at April 29, 2010 05:56 PM (J+UTa)
Posted by: Ruprect the Monkey Boy at April 29, 2010 06:10 PM (D6Uk6)
GROSS, people. Just gross. No wonder she cold-cocked him with a golf club.
Posted by: Beverly at April 29, 2010 10:39 PM (vA1sv)
Posted by: T8 to T5 adapter Kits at April 29, 2010 11:06 PM (qgFwU)
Posted by: weight loss at April 30, 2010 12:52 AM (lAoNn)
Posted by: LtE113 at April 30, 2010 07:01 AM (8EieV)
Posted by: Dovie Lee Kerner at April 30, 2010 08:31 AM (zF6Iw)
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Huge, quickly.
Posted by: Loopy de Loop at April 29, 2010 12:47 PM (uFokq)