February 03, 2010
— Ace Delays over.
I never did get to properly dip in the comfort of my own home, reporting the magic moment as it happened. I could only do it stealthily in a back-stage bathroom, as if it were something shameful or something.
Just to let you know: DrewM. pussied out. "I thought it was a joke," he told me.*
Yeah. Right. RINO.
Dan Collins of POWIP didn't pussy out.
He's tearing Andrew Sullivan a fresh one today, too.
* He did give me a very odd look... He really did think it was "just a joke." He thought I was pretty freakin' weird to have done it.
Well, look: As I explained to people-- It's an anecdote, isn't it? Very few people will be able to tell that anecdote, now will they?
Let's say one day I'm in the woods in the Pacific Northwest taking a tinkle on a shrub and a female Sasquatch walks by in that curiously exaggerated arm-swinging manner of locomotion they have and offers to give me a hand-jay.
Now, I don't really want the hand-jay.
But... come on, it's a female Sasquatch. I have to. "Wanting" has nothing to do with it.
Posted by: Ace at
12:37 PM
| Comments (127)
Post contains 212 words, total size 1 kb.
Posted by: maddogg at February 03, 2010 12:39 PM (OlN4e)
Posted by: LastRick at February 03, 2010 12:41 PM (GPQyc)
Posted by: YRM at February 03, 2010 12:43 PM (MxqA5)
politics is the Great Unknown: All we usually get are the results. All we can usually do is pick through the entrails like those Roman soothsayers, looking for bits and clues
Brown probably provided his old Cosmopolitan out-takes to Barney Frank and Andrew 'Manboobs' Sullivan
Posted by: SantaRosaStan at February 03, 2010 12:43 PM (JrRME)
Per the earlier thread, I called Reid's office at 3:45 to ask why the Majority Leader of the Senate was ignoring the rule of law, will of the people, etc. The intern answering my questions (poorly, I knew more about the vote schedule than she did), finally shrieked, "He's being seated! Have a nice day!" and hung up on me.
I was thrilled. They really haven't figure out that 1) we're paying attention -- close attention and 2) we're pissed. REALLY pissed and 3) we're not afraid to let them know. Every day. All day.
Go Brown!
Posted by: Biblio at February 03, 2010 12:44 PM (y5VNb)
Posted by: MA Senate Placeholder at February 03, 2010 12:46 PM (y5VNb)
Posted by: curious at February 03, 2010 12:47 PM (p302b)
Posted by: HeatherRadish at February 03, 2010 12:47 PM (mR7mk)
Posted by: Hussein the Plumber at February 03, 2010 12:48 PM (r1h5M)
Posted by: Dang Straights at February 03, 2010 12:50 PM (fx8sm)
Posted by: Holger at February 03, 2010 12:51 PM (8NGHm)
Or dipping in peanut butter would be less of a hassle as I got a dog.
I hear there are plenty of free beagles on Long Island.
Posted by: Dang Straights at February 03, 2010 12:52 PM (fx8sm)
Heh....there's a couple of people looking at ace like WTF?
What's that strange man doing with pudding?
Posted by: eleven at February 03, 2010 12:54 PM (7DB+a)
I thought they would hold out until commie Patricia Smith was voted on because they needed 60 for that.
They did, she was confirmed Monday.
Posted by: Vic at February 03, 2010 12:55 PM (QrA9E)
Posted by: Dang Straights at February 03, 2010 12:55 PM (fx8sm)
Posted by: Barack Obama at February 03, 2010 12:55 PM (VmtE9)
I thought they would hold out until commie Patricia Smith was voted on because they needed 60 for that.
They did, she was confirmed Monday.
Posted by: Vic at February 03, 2010 04:55 PM (QrA9E)
Sonofabitch, might they try to not seat him through a vote?
Posted by: Holger at February 03, 2010 12:56 PM (8NGHm)
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at February 03, 2010 12:56 PM (zgZzy)
Posted by: Crusty at February 03, 2010 12:58 PM (GvSpB)
Posted by: Dr. Spank at February 03, 2010 12:58 PM (0FiCa)
Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at February 03, 2010 12:59 PM (IIHY9)
Posted by: lowfibass at February 03, 2010 01:00 PM (T1ZAZ)
A Sasquatch hand-job? The president gets one on a regular basis.
Whether he wants one or not. M'chelle can run him down, after all.
Posted by: Dang Straights at February 03, 2010 01:00 PM (fx8sm)
If it's Michelle O, it's okay to say no. She might eat you for a snack after she's done.
Posted by: wherestherum at February 03, 2010 01:01 PM (gofDd)
Posted by: anginak at February 03, 2010 01:03 PM (KEF6Y)
Posted by: stuiec at February 03, 2010 01:03 PM (keSj0)
Posted by: female Sasquatch at February 03, 2010 01:03 PM (IhQuA)
Posted by: anginak at February 03, 2010 05:03 PM (KEF6Y)
It's a SIX-pack. For Ace and five of his closest friends.
Posted by: stuiec at February 03, 2010 01:04 PM (keSj0)
It is a six pack of pudding. Nice soft and yielding pudding... *drools*
Posted by: Holger at February 03, 2010 01:04 PM (8NGHm)
"Pussied out" implies I was going to and then didn't.
Honestly, it was never going to happen.
Posted by: DrewM. at February 03, 2010 01:05 PM (UAnTc)
Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at February 03, 2010 01:05 PM (IIHY9)
Posted by: jeff at February 03, 2010 01:06 PM (i0/N7)
Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at February 03, 2010 01:06 PM (Vu6sl)
One of the few things on which Drew and I will unconditionally agree is that this SHOULD have been just a joke.
Me jacking off in the lobby of a nursing home would also provide an unusual anecdote, but that is no reason to go try it.
Posted by: s'moron at February 03, 2010 01:07 PM (p1s9n)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
*Reloads*
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Posted by: Holger at February 03, 2010 01:07 PM (8NGHm)
Posted by: runningrn at February 03, 2010 01:07 PM (CfmlF)
It's like climbing the mountain or seeking the headwaters of the Nile. One just has to, from time to time.
Upward! Onward!
Posted by: rdbrewer at February 03, 2010 01:07 PM (4Rp5g)
Dude, the President probably gives the Sasquatch a hand-job.
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at February 03, 2010 01:07 PM (otlXg)
Why does drudge still have this up? What is he trying to make us notice that we aren't seeing.
yes he added that the attorney sent the letter but usually he is right on this kind of stuff.
Posted by: curious at February 03, 2010 01:07 PM (p302b)
Regarding sasquatch, never been a firm believer in the creature but having been born and raised in Seattle, I know a ton of people who grew up in the outlying areas who say those who have lived off the beaten trail state the existance as known fact.
Regarding the possibility of inter species hand jobs, can't help on that subject.
Posted by: AndrewsDad at February 03, 2010 01:07 PM (C2//T)
Posted by: runningrn at February 03, 2010 01:08 PM (CfmlF)
We used to do that to our old dog all the time. Never failed to crack us up. Our current dogs don't like peanut butter, oddly enough.
Apropos of nothing, I still have some pudding. Perhaps I shall save some to dip for Brown's swearing in.
Posted by: wherestherum at February 03, 2010 01:08 PM (gofDd)
Posted by: beerologist at February 03, 2010 01:09 PM (tgXx6)
@48 I stand corrected.
Somehow the visual of six guys standing around in a circle with pudding in the middle brings to mind other guy 'circles'. Does each hold his own pudding or his friends, I wonder.
Why I even ask these questions I'll never know.
Posted by: anginak at February 03, 2010 01:09 PM (KEF6Y)
Now you tell me..
*slinks off*
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at February 03, 2010 01:10 PM (otlXg)
WTR - We used to do that to our old dog all the time.
You DO realize they mean putting p-nut butter on the genitals and having the dog lick it off, right?
You used to do that all the time?
Really?
Posted by: s'moron at February 03, 2010 01:10 PM (p1s9n)
Posted by: curious at February 03, 2010 01:12 PM (p302b)
Posted by: real joe at February 03, 2010 01:12 PM (IAOAn)
Posted by: grouchyunderalls at February 03, 2010 01:12 PM (wyXxN)
Posted by: eddiebear at February 03, 2010 01:13 PM (wnU1W)
You used to do that all the time?
Oh, you mean the DOG is supposed to lick it off?
oh....
Posted by: real joe at February 03, 2010 01:13 PM (IAOAn)
Posted by: runningrn at February 03, 2010 05:08 PM (CfmlF)
The gun. The pudding cups let them know that they're going to get to marinate for a while before they're slaughtered for the barbecue.
Posted by: stuiec at February 03, 2010 01:14 PM (keSj0)
Ace's use of the term tinkle was disturbing to me especially after that ghey guy's rant downstairs, but I forgive him.........hey Ace real men don't say tinkle!
Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at February 03, 2010 01:15 PM (IIHY9)
The White House claims that The Special Olympics accepted Rahm Emanuel's apology for calling liberals "fucking retarded." But the vice president for communications at the Special Olympics, Kirsten Seckler, told Ben Smith, Politico, that is "inaccurate" because Tim Shriver is not authorized to accept an apology on behalf of all people with disabilities.
How sorry is the White House? Not sorry enough to quit "fucking" retards. But sorry enough to pledge the removal of the word "retarded" from all legislation. Purging historical records. Lip service for "words, just words."
That's exactly where the focus of our nation must be now that the Director of National Intelligence stated that within 6 months, America will be attacked by terrorists.
Posted by: maverick muse at February 03, 2010 01:15 PM (+CLh/)
Posted by: Dang Straights at February 03, 2010 01:16 PM (fx8sm)
Posted by: CozMark at February 03, 2010 01:16 PM (HK4Kc)
Posted by: wherestherum at February 03, 2010 05:08 PM (gofDd)
Rum, if I were to overnight a video camera to you, would you consider possibly, well, you know....
Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at February 03, 2010 01:16 PM (Vu6sl)
Maybe you're the reason! After your call the intern got pissed off enough to go tell Reid "Seat the mother fucker already so these people will leave me alone!"
Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at February 03, 2010 01:16 PM (f9c2L)
tinkle?
The Sasquatchette would be more likely to fist you. Ya cain't make butter with a toothpick.
Posted by: Speller at February 03, 2010 01:16 PM (o0R2E)
Posted by: Holger at February 03, 2010 01:16 PM (8NGHm)
You used to do that all the time?
Really?
Uh, what now? No...I clicked on the video! There was nothing nasty there!
Posted by: wherestherum at February 03, 2010 01:18 PM (gofDd)
Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at February 03, 2010 01:18 PM (f9c2L)
a hand-jay from a male Sasquatch
Hell he can get one of those at the train station any time he pleases.
Posted by: Dang Straights at February 03, 2010 01:19 PM (fx8sm)
Posted by: 'Nam Grunt
Shreveport?
Posted by: Mrs. Beto at February 03, 2010 01:19 PM (+CLh/)
Posted by: rdbrewer at February 03, 2010 01:20 PM (4Rp5g)
Dear Obama and co are you nuts?
Or did someone abscond with your guts?
If you act like youÂ’re weak
All your power will leak,
Hurling Dems out of town on their butts.
Posted by: sickinmass at February 03, 2010 01:21 PM (Dxfei)
Posted by: Todd at February 03, 2010 01:21 PM (aMXGv)
Economics mostly and my son is here, he worries about me living in the wilderness all these years alone "time to come back to town Dad", besides I have a brand new 3brm house and everything is close and it's only 37 miles across the Texas line so it's all good.
Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at February 03, 2010 01:22 PM (IIHY9)
Posted by: curious at February 03, 2010 01:23 PM (p302b)
As an aside to 'Nam Grunt and the other veterans on the other Brown thread that, I assume, will get less traffic with this new thread posted:
he isn't from Illinois and he didn't pay for his Senate seat so there's no reason to rush this
I beg to differ with you my friend, he served in the Armed Forces, he more than paid for that seat.
I was (sarc.) referencing Roland Burris's corrupt appointment and his expedited seating, gentlemen, in contrast to Senator Brown's route to his seat and delayed seating and not referencing Senator Brown's honest election and military service. My apologies for the confusion.
Posted by: andycanuck at February 03, 2010 01:25 PM (2qU2d)
And good to see you back to commenting, 'Nam Grunt.
Posted by: andycanuck at February 03, 2010 01:31 PM (2qU2d)
Wouldn't that be Forrest Gump's "no relation" Bubba shrimp gumbo for dipping? Hey, Lake Charles looks nice online, the Festival Capital of Louisiana.
Posted by: Mrs. Beto at February 03, 2010 01:36 PM (+CLh/)
Are there any pictures from that night where the pudding isn't all motion-blurred?
Were you giggling like a schoolgirl EVERY TIME you took a picture of your pud'?
Posted by: reason at February 03, 2010 01:48 PM (V40IZ)
Posted by: Uniball at February 03, 2010 02:08 PM (27iEn)
Instead I'm gonna simply ask you and Pixie WTF? Seriously, cut and pasting a paragraph from your own post causes your system to hyperventilate? What is the point.
Perhaps you two are spending too much time together in the Pacific Northwest looking for that magic Sasquatch that you never seem to remember to take a picture of, or even get one bit of evidence of (except your own pathetically diminutive sample of DNA on your panties) but yet you claim to have seen, smelled, tasted, and touched her every friggin brokebacking week.
Anyway, back to point, the composition of the Sasquatch section is truly literally and comedic genius taking words that are funny as stand alone and combining them to plant a very funny vivid image (I did grow up in the woods) in the mind.
Now fix the damn comments including a counter on the homepage and dump this temporary craptastic Sasquatch hand-jay thing.
Posted by: LifeTrek at February 03, 2010 02:15 PM (tJTIW)
Dan Collins of POWIP didn't pussy out.
He's tearing Andrew Sullivan a fresh one today, too.
He links to Stacy McCain on this post. Do you know that makes you a racist just for reading it? Linking to white supremacists like Stacy McCain and your homophobic rants against the fine writing of Andrew Sullivan who is JUST ASKING QUESTIONS is the bad craziness that makes me glad I threw in my lot with the sane moderate thoughtful people like Sullivan and Kos.
Know what other benefit I get from turning moonbat? Amanda Marcotte sends me raunchy emails about how much she wants me to do it to her where you mount the bicycle
Posted by: Charles Martin Luther Johnson at February 03, 2010 02:16 PM (sYxEE)
Posted by: ace at February 03, 2010 02:19 PM (jlvw3)
Posted by: w'evver at February 03, 2010 02:20 PM (1kwr2)
Posted by: Hume at February 03, 2010 02:35 PM (U9Alg)
Posted by: runningrn at February 03, 2010 02:41 PM (CfmlF)
Posted by: runningrn at February 03, 2010 02:47 PM (CfmlF)
But I don't recommend the new Jell-O Blueballsberry flavour.
Posted by: andycanuck at February 03, 2010 03:31 PM (2qU2d)
Ace;
Protip: Lie about the Sasquatch. Just lie. Works the same in polite company I would venture.
Posted by: Inspector Asshole at February 03, 2010 03:54 PM (O6c08)
" I have to. "Wanting" has nothing to do with it."
"Hey, I coulda hung out with Hannah F'n Giles, but I had to go dip, in private. It had nothing to do with wanting. I said I would do it, and that is important. Way more important than hanging out with some dumb girl. It's about integrity."
See how silly that sounds?
Posted by: Penultimatum at February 03, 2010 04:32 PM (CIKgX)
What's with the jello references?
Posted by: Rick at February 03, 2010 04:42 PM (bqer+)
"Tomorrow: Senator Scott Brown to be Sworn In" - Ace
It's tough to respond to that headline. I'll refrain from posting my first reaction, which was to say, so what.
Posted by: Guest at February 03, 2010 07:08 PM (ITzbJ)
Check out the Louie videos.. childish.. stupid.. moronic.. perfect!
and it ties in with embracing the teabagger reference the libtards think is degrading.. degrading? fuck that! I'll teabag all night!
Posted by: Chitown-Jerry at February 03, 2010 07:11 PM (Do528)
So how 'bout heading back to the daily kooks and watch them cry in their beer as they try in 1 million words or less to explain away how they lost Massachusetts because it wasn't really about Obama, or healthcare or the fucking libtards that are running Congress right now.
or.. not.. whateva..
Posted by: Chitown-Jerry at February 03, 2010 07:15 PM (Do528)
Posted by: Purple Avenger at February 03, 2010 07:29 PM (TZ4Dk)
Posted by: Guest at February 03, 2010 08:07 PM (ITzbJ)
Ace cannot be choosy, for obvious reasons. A female Sasquatch, an incapacitated hobo, a bundle of scented hobo sleeping bags and fluffy parkas... the deed will be done.
Posted by: Desmond 2-2 at February 04, 2010 05:10 AM (dP6Ky)
Yea verily! What the fuck is UP with that shit?
Been like that for months, too!
Posted by: Stoop Davy Dave at February 04, 2010 05:30 AM (R4hXS)
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Posted by: Instapundit at February 03, 2010 12:38 PM (0FiCa)