Ace of Spades HQ

December 31, 2010

Top 10 Christiane in Twenty Ten
— Dave in Texas

She's the Jim Carrey of Sunday morning network anchors. Without the intellectual heft.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at 04:51 AM | Comments (87)
Post contains 25 words, total size 1 kb.

1 ABC still has a news division?

Posted by: nevergiveup at December 31, 2010 04:56 AM (0GFWk)

2 She's so smart!!

Posted by: SOMEASSHOLESTOLEMYPEN at December 31, 2010 04:56 AM (gOG95)

3 A buttplug can make you say silly things, I hear.

Posted by: eman at December 31, 2010 04:58 AM (+iY8m)

4 A buttplug can make you say silly things, I hear. Posted by: eman at December 31, 2010 08:58 AM (+iY8m) "Buttplub" ? Is that a nickname for James Rubin?

Posted by: nevergiveup at December 31, 2010 05:02 AM (0GFWk)

5 "How can you jazz the electorate?"

Jennifer Love Hewitt has some ideas on that.

Posted by: Nicholas Kronos at December 31, 2010 05:03 AM (KktlX)

6 29 seconds. That's my limit. Well, at least ABC sprang for a major network quality moustache wax job. Hall Of Fame Scrunt. Imagine balling that. Your schwantz would detach itself, grow feet, and RUN.

Posted by: Pecos Bill at December 31, 2010 05:04 AM (j84s0)

7 Watching all those Yasser Arafat "home movies" effed her up big time.

Posted by: eman at December 31, 2010 05:04 AM (+iY8m)

8 Why give the stunt double for the mop in the Swifter commercials any more publicity?

Posted by: ya2daup at December 31, 2010 05:05 AM (yRrAd)

9 Watching all those Yasser Arafat "home movies" effed her up big time. Posted by: eman at December 31, 2010 09:04 AM (+iY8m) She named her son, Darius. I'm surprised he isn't named Yasser

Posted by: nevergiveup at December 31, 2010 05:07 AM (0GFWk)

Christiane Ahmawhore.

That about sums her up to me.

Posted by: RickZ at December 31, 2010 05:15 AM (vGy3W)

11 Oh oh... No pardon for Billy the Kid.

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 31, 2010 05:16 AM (tJjm/)

12 Oh oh... No pardon for Billy the Kid. Posted by: CoolCzech at December 31, 2010 09:16 AM (tJjm/) Another consequence of obesity.

Posted by: eman at December 31, 2010 05:18 AM (+iY8m)

13 For a proper impression of Christiane, it helps to put a couple of cotton balls in your cheeks then speak.

Posted by: Dave C at December 31, 2010 05:19 AM (Jf/AM)

14 That's a man, baby.

Posted by: real joe at December 31, 2010 05:20 AM (w7Lv+)

15 Don't go to Vegas with ABC. Doubling down on teh dumb.

Posted by: dogfish at December 31, 2010 05:21 AM (VZ2iQ)

16 I guess having 20 lbs. of thermite stuffed into your bra makes you bold about how you talk to your guests.

Posted by: CrustyB at December 31, 2010 05:21 AM (qzgbP)

17 Not as good as Monica, but not bad.

Posted by: Bill Clinton at December 31, 2010 05:22 AM (+iY8m)

18 Thankfully she's more masculine than George.

Posted by: Fritz at December 31, 2010 05:24 AM (GwPRU)

19 @9: She named me Xerxes!

Posted by: Her Little Man in a Boat at December 31, 2010 05:25 AM (tJjm/)

20
Incoming NM Governor, Susana Martinez called the Billy the Kid effort Â“a waste". Thank you for the sanity break.

Posted by: dogfish at December 31, 2010 05:25 AM (VZ2iQ)

21 Is it just me or does she talk like she has someone genitalia in her mouth?

Posted by: Ben at December 31, 2010 05:26 AM (wuv1c)

22 I know both Jamie and Christiane. Not sure which is the bigger douche. I can tell you that in private....they are both the same knd of douche as their public doucheness.

Posted by: SeenIt at December 31, 2010 05:27 AM (6sKtn)

23 For a proper impression of Christiane, it helps to put a couple of cotton balls in your cheeks then speak.

Cotton? I don't think so.

Posted by: Mama AJ at December 31, 2010 05:30 AM (XdlcF)

24 I know both Jamie and Christiane. Not sure which is the bigger douche. I can tell you that in private....they are both the same knd of douche as their public doucheness. Posted by: SeenIt at December 31, 2010 09:27 AM (6sKtn) And how is Hebrew School going for Darius?

Posted by: nevergiveup at December 31, 2010 05:30 AM (0GFWk)

25 Ah, Ben stepped on my line.

/shakes fist

Posted by: Mama AJ at December 31, 2010 05:31 AM (XdlcF)

I want to hear Christiane say "we're not going to put up with any baloney" ala the grandmother in Weird Science.

And what kind of world do we live in where Amanpore has her own show on network TV but MKH has to appear on glorified porn sites like this one?

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at December 31, 2010 05:32 AM (DPM1U)

Ah, Ben stepped on my line.

/shakes fist

[cowers and runs off your lawn]

Posted by: Ben at December 31, 2010 05:34 AM (wuv1c)

28 Jim Cary? Looks more like Mick circa 1974, man .

Posted by: Keith Richards at December 31, 2010 05:36 AM (SWgtT)

29 Amanpoour is just filling the coveted left wing, pro-Arab/anti-Jew seat held so long by Helen Thomas. Apparently, one requirement for the seat is to be butt ugly.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 31, 2010 05:37 AM (TMB3S)

30 I always had her pegged as Col. Kagoofy's yonger sister.

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 31, 2010 05:39 AM (tJjm/)

Yeesh, I made it to 2:50. The dopey is strong w/that one. She's up there with Garafaolo, Joy Babar, Rosie Odonnel and Cheryl Crow on the beyotches I would like to strangle list.

Posted by: dananjcon at December 31, 2010 05:40 AM (pr+up)

32 And you thought A.B. Stoddard was homely. I turn that shit up to eleven.

Posted by: Christiane Amanpour's Leathery Piss-Flaps at December 31, 2010 05:45 AM (zk7RY)

33 George Will is installing an X-ray laser in his bow tie. "Someday, bitch."

Posted by: eman at December 31, 2010 05:46 AM (+iY8m)

34 I'll always remember the first time I met Arafat. He said to me, "Dude, why are you wearing a chador? That's for chicks."

Posted by: Christiane Amanpour's Leathery Piss-Flaps at December 31, 2010 05:48 AM (zk7RY)

35 I mentioned this in the ONT last night, but hey! You morons have the long term memory of a diseased yak! Bruce Willis's Red is a wonderful movie. Great action, great humor, and truly heartwarming, especially with the way old adversaries finally reconcile in their senior years and realize that, after all, there are more important things in life than killing each other. Besides, the sight of a (still rather cute) older lady in an evening gown manning a 50 cal. machine will give the average moron on Cialis a woody!

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 31, 2010 05:52 AM (tJjm/)

How do those people stay awake through her "questions"?

George Will laughing at her and Meggie was funny, though. "That's taut--snort--tauta--well, duh."

Posted by: Mama AJ at December 31, 2010 05:54 AM (XdlcF)

37 The US vs China war scenario is ludicrous. By 2015, well into Obama's second term we won't have any aircraft carriers to sink - they will all be moth balled as an austerity measure. The only 'fighting' ships the Department of Peace will have available will be some speed boats armed with AK-47's captured from Somali Pirates during the Bush administration; the good news is that they will be immune to the Chinese Computer Hacker brigade.

If you had owned a McDonald's in 2008 and Obama had applied for the job of Assistant Manager you would have hesitated to hire him because of his lack of experience as an executive and his admitted prior cocaine use. Instead, we elect him President of the United States and we think that there won't be any disastrous consequences to that act of collective idiocy?

Today, of course, nobody would hire Obama to work at their McDonald's; since they would know he couldn't be trusted with a cash register.

Posted by: An Observation at December 31, 2010 05:55 AM (ylhEn)

38 Nothin' for nothin', but Amanpour's "style" -- to give something trivial a big name -- reminds me of a more humble Bill O'Reilly.

Like most people who get those fat contracts for shooting off their mouths -- and a whole helluva lot of bloggers, though not at AoSHQ -- she obviously overrates her intelligence and importance in the world.

One could make a similar highlight reel of Greta van Susteren and Jerry Rivers blathering about Joran van der Sloot, or, worse, Hannity slavish worship of The Newt. And then there's Pissy Chrissy Matthews....

Amanpour is simply the ugliest of a long list of Peter Principle dingalings who inhabit the media. That distinction aside, she's just one of a whole host of nimrods out there.

Posted by: MrScribbler© at December 31, 2010 05:56 AM (Ulu3i)

39 That interview with Axelrod hit the list multiple times. It's gold, Jerry DiT! Gold!

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at December 31, 2010 05:58 AM (swuwV)

40 The show was already unwatchable with the idiots like Katranny Vanden Trustfund and Snakehead Carville appearing regularly so I guess the bidness plan was to go full retard with this sanctimonious talking colostomy bag.

Posted by: Captain Hate at December 31, 2010 05:59 AM (olKiY)

41 Well, at least her rating suck.

Posted by: Mama AJ at December 31, 2010 05:59 AM (XdlcF)

42 Where's MKH's top 10 Katie Couric moments?

Posted by: Fritz at December 31, 2010 06:01 AM (GwPRU)

Hey! don't look at me. I had nuttin to do with this one.

Posted by: Ugly Stick at December 31, 2010 06:01 AM (pr+up)

44 Captain Hate: "The show was already unwatchable with the idiots like Katranny Vanden Trustfund..."

You're shitting me. That Communist scrunt still gets airtime?! A test pattern has more wisdom, intellect, and honesty. Hell, I'm dumber for just knowing she still breathes.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at December 31, 2010 06:03 AM (swuwV)

Where's MKH's top 10 Katie Couric moments?

The dancing is all she could come up with.

Posted by: Mama AJ at December 31, 2010 06:03 AM (XdlcF)

46 This scrunt is with ABC now? I wouldn't know I haven't watched ABC, CBS, NBC, or CNN for decades.

Posted by: Vic at December 31, 2010 06:06 AM (M9Ie6)

47 45 Posted by: CoolCzech at December 31, 2010 09:52 AM (tJjm/) Dude, you also thought New Year's Eve was last night. Posted by: CDR M at December 31, 2010 10:02 AM (5I8G0) I see my dry humor is wasted on morons. Which is as it should be.

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 31, 2010 06:08 AM (tJjm/)

M.K.H. Pffft, that bitch couldn't hold my jock strap!

Oh wait...never mind..

Posted by: C. Amanpour at December 31, 2010 06:09 AM (pr+up)

49 A horse is a horse, of course, of course.

Posted by: Geo. Will-bur at December 31, 2010 06:10 AM (dYKl3)

50 We need a Top 20 Contessa Brewer bit. She makes Christiane look like Edward R. Murrow.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 31, 2010 06:11 AM (UOM48)

M.K.H??? Pffftt...Hot and Catholic is no way to go through life.

Posted by: C. Amanpour at December 31, 2010 06:15 AM (pr+up)

52 52 We need a Top 20 Contessa Brewer bit.Â She makes Christiane look like ~~Edward R. Murrow~~ a Victoria's Secret Model. Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 31, 2010 10:11 AM (UOM4

FTFY! You're so welcome!

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 31, 2010 06:15 AM (tJjm/)

53 She was voted "Best Choice" to become Chair and Chief Propagandist of PRAVDA, by former Soviet Union patriots.

Posted by: Sparky at December 31, 2010 06:20 AM (r0u40)

Crusty piss flaps talks with her hands claws a wee bit too much.

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at December 31, 2010 06:24 AM (0fzsA)

55 thanks for sharing friend, please visit
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Posted by: hi at December 31, 2010 06:24 AM (Ue/RY)

56 I see my dry humor is wasted on morons. Which is as it should be. Posted by: CoolCzech at December 31, 2010 10:08 AM

Morons only appreciate wet humor!

Next time you feel funny, give it a soak in Valu-Rite before posting....

Posted by: MrScribbler© at December 31, 2010 06:26 AM (Ulu3i)

HUGE!

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at December 31, 2010 06:26 AM (0fzsA)

58 Well, at least she cares about teh Joos. Wait, what?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 31, 2010 06:27 AM (UOM48)

"people don't appreciate the Amazing legislativie agenda that he has passed".

Biased much, Amanpour? Geez. The lefty MSM do not hide it at all, do they.

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at December 31, 2010 06:28 AM (0fzsA)

60 "people don't appreciate the Amazing legislativie agenda that he has passed". It IS amazing what Barry passed... the question now is, how do we flush it down?

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 31, 2010 06:40 AM (tJjm/)

61 The only reason she has a gig is because of her accent. Combine that with he spouting from the lib handbook and she's got a gig for life in the MFM no matter how stupid she is

Posted by: TheQuietMan at December 31, 2010 06:42 AM (ilcWj)

the question now is, how do we flush it down?

The only way to flush it, is to flush him in 2012. This nation cannot survive 4 more years of axis of radical Obama/Reid/Pelosi/ The Nation/ Mother Jones/ Democracy Now/ Christiane Amanpour bullshit.

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at December 31, 2010 06:48 AM (0fzsA)

63 "people don't appreciate the Amazing legislativie agenda that he has passed".

This is what passes for journalistic objectivity among these 'tards.

Posted by: real joe at December 31, 2010 06:53 AM (IpIBJ)

64 That interview with Axelrod hit the list multiple times. It's gold, Jerry DiT! Gold! I can picture a wilting Axelrod pinching himself and thinking, "stop trying to help us, you bitch".

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 31, 2010 06:58 AM (f5X9a)

65 The local hosts at 890 here weren't properly respectful of her during her weekly appearances on their show and she won't go on anymore. They call her Kuala Lampur. Lefties don't like being mocked for some reason.

Posted by: ed at December 31, 2010 07:01 AM (Urhve)

66 Its a good thing libs keep reminding us how smart they are. Without those reminders we would have to rely on the evidence. Wonder when the evidence will appear

Posted by: billypaintbrush at December 31, 2010 07:23 AM (xfEih)

67 @68: Hey, recent scientific studies have shown that Liberals are better than Conservatives in Every Way! Except for the fact their "new ideas" never seem to pan out, and leave economic and social devastation in their wake. The Scientists are still working on that...

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 31, 2010 07:28 AM (tJjm/)

68 The Hamster always cracks me up.

Posted by: rdbrewer at December 31, 2010 07:29 AM (ytoCE)

69 You can take like Amanpour too. Just jam about 15 caramels into your mouth. Wait until they get really sticky.

Posted by: rdbrewer at December 31, 2010 07:30 AM (ytoCE)

70 It's absolutely amazing the carer this woman has built off of boning JFK Jr in college.

Posted by: Rocks at December 31, 2010 07:48 AM (WxagK)

Obama and the left-o-crats passed such "AMAZING legislation" [ObamaCare] that it's already being repealed for the Democrat Union Buddies.

The very same unions whose over-the-top union labor costs force American jobs over seas.

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at December 31, 2010 07:48 AM (0fzsA)

72 Do a search of the web and New York Times magazine did a puff piece on Amanpour with a picture of her standing next to her favorite piece of art work hanging in her dining room. The piece by an Iranian artist clearly looks like the Twin Towers in flames. Yep, her favorite artwork - enough said.

Posted by: had enough at December 31, 2010 07:54 AM (iGtL1)

The thing that bothers me about almost all talk show questioners is that they never let their guests answer the question. They always have to interrupt.

Charlie Rose is a great example.

Hell, Playboy Mag. had better interviews than that. Ask a question, step back, and let the interviewee answer.

Not that hard.

Posted by: HH at December 31, 2010 08:14 AM (6oDXl)

#74 I agree. Here it is.

http://tinyurl.com/yg35jwd

Posted by: notexactlyplanA at December 31, 2010 08:20 AM (x6uGW)

75 As the late, great Rodney Dangerfield said:

Last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it.

Posted by: mpfs at December 31, 2010 08:23 AM (3TjSM)

76 "How can you jazz the electorate?"----One way would be to try adding "jazz hands" to her repertoire of gestures.

Posted by: RickS at December 31, 2010 08:29 AM (Kogrf)

77 Love me some MKHam, able to poke them in the eye with a stick so sharp, they don't even notice.

Posted by: OpenTheDoor at December 31, 2010 08:40 AM (jHwF3)

78 Greedy Takers...There are givers and there are takers.

Posted by: Meg Mass at December 31, 2010 08:43 AM (f4Ndo)

Basically, all TV shows that are interviews are flawed. For the simple reason of time constraints. They simply don't have the time to get into any depth with whomever they are interviewing.

And any politicion is just going to mouth whatever line they came in with. And I don't care who it is.

Oddly enough, I would argue that the print media does a much better job, givene the Q&A and the ability to take the time, perhaps for several days.

And just on a side note. When I used to read Playboy, even they admitted that they had to condense the interview with Fidel Castro. Just because the guy talked for so long...

Posted by: HH at December 31, 2010 08:53 AM (6oDXl)

80 It's absolutely amazing the carer this woman has built off of boning JFK Jr in college.

Posted by: Rocks at December 31, 2010 11:48 AM

Naw, I think MK Ham did it with talent.

Posted by: rdbrewer at December 31, 2010 08:54 AM (ytoCE)

81 She fucked JFK, jr. Can you top that, Dave in Texas? Well, CAN YOU??????

Posted by: Moi at December 31, 2010 09:19 AM (Ez4Ql)

82 Oh, no! Rocks beat me to it!

Posted by: Moi at December 31, 2010 09:20 AM (Ez4Ql)

The thing that bothers me about almost all talk show questioners is that they never let their guests answer the question. They always have to interrupt.

Charlie Rose is a great example.

Posted by: HH at December 31, 2010 12:14 PM (6oDXl)

Being forced to watch an endless loop of Charlie Rose shows is a good definition of Hell. In fact I'm pretty sure PBS is the network of Hell.

Posted by: Captain Hate at December 31, 2010 11:19 AM (olKiY)

84 #78 "How can you jazz the electorate?" I think she meant Jizz the electorate and they did that very well.

Posted by: Oldsailor at December 31, 2010 12:07 PM (AovJ3)

My God.

There are no actual questions in there, just rambling suckitude of the highest order with a plea at the end of each for affirmation that she is correct.

It's all about her. It's like watching Oprah seek affirmation from a doctor/shrink/psychic/writer etc... that she, indeed, understood exactly what they understood....before even they understood it themselves.

When it comes to Sunday anchors, if at first you don't succeed, suck harder.

Posted by: jmflynny at December 31, 2010 01:43 PM (piMMO)

86 LMAO! I love the smoke coming out of Ghoulsbee's head starting at 1:52

Posted by: OxyCon at December 31, 2010 02:08 PM (eJ7Yr)

87 Amanpour is pretty much a complete bitch, and that's about all there is to that.

It's no wonder she's so admired in the MFM, they're all bitches.

Posted by: Merovign, Strong on His Mountain at December 31, 2010 06:32 PM (bxiXv)

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