1 wtf?

2 Tell Floyd to try a linen shroud or a statue what cries tears of blood. I hear they are real show-stoppers. Toast wouldn't make it through the summer.

3 Have the House and Senate heard about this?

4 I liked the "House and Senate at Christmas" and the "Senate tells House he was adopted" series of tales more.

5 Who gave this munter posting rights? Get your own blog.

6 If David Mamet and Fellini had a baby, this is exactly the caliber of material the kid would produce.

7 Huh?

8 I spent weeks digging in that cave for THIS?

9 I figure the best way would be to release a virus that encodes it in mitochondrial DNA.  There's your broadcast.

10

I remember Big Chief writing tablets.  They were one of my rare good memories of public school.

Anybody know of a hair dryer that makes no noise?

11 Is there a way to go back in time and delete that post?

12 Kunkle, Ohio??????

For real Monty?  You know I had to Bing that place to find out where it was at.  LOL, the closest I have been to there was a weekend trip to Cedar Point at Sandusky.

13 Monty; your last big hit on a thread was the "what I am reading now" thingy.  Since yesterday was a gardening day how about that?

What I am planting/growing now????

14 Meh.

Gonna do it, cause it's Monty...

And I lurves me some Monty scenes...

But, seriously, WTF?

I dunno, you gots some keys to the blog...

Isn't there some way of putting the button above the fold and then going on long form with, I dunno spaces and such between speakers?

Or, if not...

different colors or some such?

15 You guys in 2012 better be more worried about OUR messages...

16 I wonder if our landfills full of burned out Compact Florescent Light ballasts will still be around in 5000 years. Yesterday I took three of them apart and I am sending them to GE. I don't want the bulbs to break in the mail so i will just send the ballasts, along with a fucking message.

17 Or...an alternative that stays kinda on topic is little Podunk towns that we have actually been to.  i.e. No fair looking up stuff on a map.  Must be some place you have been to/lived at.

I'll start it out with Scott, GA

18 It's a relief to see that I'm not the only human awake this early on a Sunday morning.

19

I'll start it out with Scott, GA

I grew up in Etterville, MO.  Between Jefferson City and Lake of the Ozarks.  Blink and you'll miss it.

20 Did I mention that Me and my Dad used to bond over steamy bowls of Hormel Beef Stew? There is something about Hormel products that brings a tear to my eye. I'm so incredibly emotional over Hormel Beef Stew. And did I mention the woody I get from Hormel Chili? And when Spam's on the dinner table I know the bride is feeling frisky.

21 My clocks are melting

22

My clocks are melting

Well dude, start something.

23 I feel like a stand-up guy who just told his closer joke and got no laughs at all. This bit sounded a lot funnier in my head than it did on the page. Honest. I think I'll keep my abstract-comedy bits confined to the comment threads from here on out... (Plus Deety is right -- the formatting sucks and is hard to read.)

24 The part about degrading VHS tapes has upset me quite badly.

25 If the message were that important that it absolutely had to be conveyed, here is how it could be done.

Start a brewing business of the nascar variety. Think volume.
Package your swill in cans and bottles. Bottles to be painted like corona.
Millions of cans and bottles will end up in landfills across the land.
5000 years from now some egghead will be doing research and will dig up your precious hidden message.

the end.

26 Oh, I left out the part about printing the message on the bottles and cans.

27

This bit sounded a lot funnier in my head than it did on the page.

Too many works this early in the morning.  It'll be a lot funnier at 10 p.m.

28 If you imagine larry the cable guy as floyd and peewee herman as monty it might be funnier....

29 ...I must need more coffee...

30 so why you picking on Floyd?  Floydists piss me off.

31 Etterville, MO???

That is a thriving metropolis compared to Scott, GA. Etterville, MO has a population of 23K whereas Scott only has a population of 300 and that is only on a Sunday when the Baptist Church at the corner of Smith Rd and Highway 80 is in session and a bunch of folks from Dublin drive over. 

32 Wow soldier dead for 15 minutes was brought back to life on Fox right now

33 I read it and I liked it. But, I also put sour cream on spaghetti so...

34

Well dude, start something.

Posted by: katya at May 16, 2010 08:15 AM

That would be my car. Off to day two of a weekend class 2hrs away. The instructor better get a move on and wrap this up quick. Weekends like this in Seattle aren't a dime a dozen. Meh, it'll be a nice drive at 5:30a. Later 'rons.

35 Ooohh.. I tell ya.. this is a tough crowd!

Don't listen to these oafs, Monty.  I liked it.

36 The obvious solution is to shape the letters out of styrofoam.  That shit's supposed to be forever.

37 sorry.. do damn long to read, i didnt pack a lunch..

38 I liked it Monty...don't listen to those bozos.

39 I'll have what Monty's having.

No, make it a double.

40

Etterville, MO has a population of 23K

They must all be living in the woods.  That's literally possible.  Etterville is mostly woods and gravel roads.

41 For the record, I posted the above comment when the Think Floyd post was still up.

42 Thanks to those who liked it, but I had to kill it. Even I didn't like it after reading it again. I shouldn't post this early the morning -- especially after a crummy night's sleep (hay-fever).

43 No complaints here. Interesting stuff to think about. I wonder what nature of catastrophe could cause us to revert to pre-industrial times, though. It would have to be a doozie.

Oh, wait, we're doing a critical thread? Hokay.

Needs more salt. And a cute bunny picture.

44 Aww...I was gonna read it again

45 Monty, throw it up for the ONT crowd.  They'll love it, I guarantee.

46 Awww, DAMMIT Monty. Don't do dat!

47 I do recommend reading the Gregory Benford book Deep Time if you're interested in this stuff, though. It's an excellent and thought-provoking book. Long-term archival is a much more difficult problem than I would have guessed before reading that book.

48 Hancock is a weird movie.  Too many conflicting genres.  Like Chuck.

49 That "Deep Time" book looks pretty interesting, I'll add it to my wish list.
Good point about the VCR, I've been meaning to transfer all those stacks of tapes of my kids growing up to something that will last more that a couple of years but I've never gotten around to it.

50 I was just grateful for an early Sunday post...this place has been getting more and more deadsville on the weekends...

51
I don't know what's going on, but I'm sure I don't like it.

52 Well, dammit, now clocks melting makes no sense! Oops...gotta go

53 [UPDATE] Monty Apologizes for Putting Up Such a Crummy Post
Diagnosis - Brain Fart!

Rx - A refreshing cup of Blue Mountain coffee and a personalized phone call from Barack Obama reassuring Monty that all is well.  Kinda. 

54 Awww, DAMMIT Monty. Don't do dat! Never fear. I saved it. (Archival is important, see?) I might put it up later as an ONT or something (or even a post-ONT). I think people will find it much more hilarious if they're half-drunk and tired. (I fear I've already corrupted this thread beyond repair because none of the noobs are going to know what the hell is going on. To summarize: I posted a lame -- and way too-long -- comedy bit about me and a dimwitted cousin discussing a long-term archival project. I decided to take my ass-kicking like a man and changed the post.) I'll get the hang of this cob-logger thing at some point....

55 Dammit! Looks like I missed the good shit too.

56 I thought Monty was just helping Floyd out with Joseph Smith's new testament.

57 They must all be living in the woods.  That's literally possible.  Etterville is mostly woods and gravel roads.

That's what Wiki said.

No complaints here. Interesting stuff to think about. I wonder what nature of catastrophe could cause us to revert to pre-industrial times, though. It would have to be a doozie.

Ah, LauraW you must read "Dies The Fire" by S. M. Stirling.

58

Is this thread spiraling out of control?

59 Oh, and least I forget....

http://tinyurl.com/2v8kzts

60 Floyd: [Excitedly] It's pretty long, so I typed it out on Mom's iMac and burned it to this CD! It starts out, "Fear not the monkey of discord, my children! For, yea--"
Monty: Stop, stop! Even that little bit gave me a fucking headache. So you need to get this message to a bunch of dudes who live -- who are going to live -- near Kunkle, Ohio five thousand years from now. Right?
Floyd: Well, like I said, Kunkle isn't really there anymore. I don't think.
Monty: Whatever. And your plan is to...what?
Floyd: I don't know. What would you do?
Monty: Nothing.
Floyd: Nothing? Why?
Monty: Because fuck those guys, that's why. I've got problems of my own. Let them deal with their own shit.

This is unreadable, thusly.

Sorry.

I'm going to cry, very soon...

I feel sure that I'm missing out on something...

I don't know what sort of arcane rituals Ace and the cob-loggers have to fulfill on this site before a post is made manifest in pixelated words but I gather from observation that it is much more complicated than needs be and thus completely beyond my ken.

This is something like I always thought I wanted to see from "Monty".

Man, what would happen, if this sharp,wise,cat got out of the comments section?

He really knows how to write!

Monty makes reading fun!

WOT, Monty just blows.

Sorry to say, because of one day on AoSHQ  my understanding of CDO's will be permanently colored by an hypothetical exchange of guitars.

So, what I'm saying is....

I'm a moron who wants to see more Monty shaking things up with quirky mathemalogical questions and dumbass references to PBS painters on a Saturday.

And, I also want to see him in more long-form on weekdays, (when he has something to say).

But, seriously...

Someone help him out.

He can't format his shit.

Ace, if you help Monty learn how to blog better I will Paypal you the last $15 in my account!

61 You can always tell the quality of a thread by the spam that is generates.

62 Nah, this was no where near the type of post you should bury with your hind legs.

I've posted some real clunkers, but aside from minor cosmetic corrections you gotta let them stand as they are and take your beating. Ace rarely disappears a post even if it turns out he misreported something. He just issues a mea culpa and moves on.

63 What's the shelf life for thumb drives? It's not so much time as it is read/write cycles. If you erase and copy a lot, then I wouldn't trust them much past a year or so. If you mainly just read from it, you can go two or three years. (It's hard to say exactly, because the quality of the memory chips varies. I've had some thumb-drives go bad on me after only a couple of months.)

64 That last thread drove me to a trip to McDonalds for baconz.

Anybody notice they don't give out the fine salt (AKA popcorn salt) in their salt packets anymore? It's the only salt for french fries. And because its finer it has more surface area and, therefore, more flavor from less salt.

When McDonalds changes a decades old food item its likely the end times are near.

65 I didn't have any problem following the dialogue in the original post.

66 lauraw: Speaking of comment-spam -- is there a way for us to get rid of it, or is that something pixy has to do?

67 Did someone mention thumb drives?

68 I wonder if Monty has been reading the comments at Larrys site. I wrote something similiar many months ago. Since I have proved here more than once that I am certifiable (nuts) here goes. If someone created us it would make sense that we would have a book to live by and learn from. I believe King James was divinely inspired.

69 76 74 Did someone mention thumb drives?

Posted by: Megan Fox at May 16, 2010 08:57 AM (YVZlY)

I hear you die in Transformers 3?

Posted by: CDR M at May 16, 2010 09:00 AM (5I8G0)

I do, but my thumbs live on...

70

Dammit, Monty,

I was skimming different blogs this morning and saw your post. I was just coming back to read it..and *poof* it was gone. Did it suck that bad?

It was good to see something up. There's been a whole lotta nothing here lately, especially on weekends.

71 Did it suck that bad? Maybe. I might post it later for the night-owls and see what the consensus view is.

72 In honor of PA and his home improvement posts we have inspection nightmares XVII

http://tinyurl.com/cdyuw2

73 I use thumb drives for transport.. short term.. that's it.

I would never use a thumb drive for long-term storage.

74 FWIW, you could have been nicer to Floyd. He ate a lot of lead paint as a kid and that is not his fault.

His momma shouldn't have sprinkled that stuff in his cereal. Perverse woman. Don't know how you can stand her.

75 I missed something............

76 He ate a lot of lead paint as a kid and that is not his fault. Oh, he's a good enough lad. You can see in this photo that he and I get along quite well. (This appeared in the family Christmas card that year.)

77

I'm a bit upset that I missed the Bob Ross post...

Brings back happy memories from my youth.

78 I'd be interested in knowing your source of the claim that the Rosetta Stone was found by a man looking for a place to take a dump. I checked Wikipedia and came up empty. If you can provide your source I will gladly update the article - I am an editor. . I Googled "Rosetta Stone Bowel Movement". "Rosetta Stone Shit", "Rosetta Stone Poop"., "Rosetta  Stone Feces",  and "Rosetta Stone Dump" and pretty much only came up with a lot of criticism of the language learning software.

79

I'm watching This Week, and they had a closeup of Rick Ellensburg   Thomas Ellers Rick Wilson Rick Ellison Pablo the Brazilian Cabana Boy Glenn Greenwald ...and I didn't hear a word he said.

All I could think of was "Gack..I this fuckhead takes loads in his face"

 

80 Post wasn't that bad Monty.  Countdown to a Purple Avenger minutely detailed home wiring project. 

81 I didn't have any problem following the dialogue in the original post.

Posted by: lauraw at May 16, 2010 08:56 AM (DbybK)

Not all of us get to ingest AosHq via a hump catheter *ahem*.

82 I'd be interested in knowing your source of the claim that the Rosetta Stone was found by a man looking for a place to take a dump. It's an apocryphal story -- no one knows for sure who found the stone. The story goes that a French soldier was looking for a place in the reeds to have a private moment, and tripped over what turned out to be the Rosetta stone. He then informed his CO, who informed his CO, who informed Lieutenant Bouchard, who got credit for the find. It's a funny story, and it might even be true.

83 Jesus fucking Christ; Chris Wallace has to be the biggest cocksucker that Fox has ever inflicted on us other than Shep and Jerry Rivers.  His interview with Laura Bush is one of the most witless piece of dumbfuckery I've ever viewed in stunned disbelief.  Die in a fire with your senile commie father, fuckstick.

84 You know, now that I think about it, I think I read that Rosetta stone story in a novel at some point or other. I can't for the life of me remember which one, though.... Ancient Evenings by Mailer, maybe?

85 This was such a happy little thread.

86 If one were to get a GPS, what would get the AoS seal of approval?

I got my wife one of these

http://tinyurl.com/27ussho

She loves it and we have had zero problems with it.

87

Fuckin Lace Wigs!

88 Who is this Monty guy?  And how did he take over my blog?

89 #96

Don't waste your money, get a Droid from Verizon, it comes with a GPS and FREE navigation from Google, which updates in real time.

90

2,000 US Actors, Prominent Liberals Accuse Obama of “War Crimes,” Says He’s “Worse Than Bush...”http://5aszg.th8.us/

US actors and liberal intellectuals joined a list to be published Friday of nearly 2,000 people accusing President Barack Obama of allowing human rights violations and war crimes.

It takes aim especially at Obama’s decision — reported by US officials — to authorize the killing of a radical Islamic cleric and US citizen Anwar al-Awlaki, who is accused of ties to Al-Qaeda in Yemen.

“In some respects this is worse than Bush,” the statement says. “First, because Obama has claimed the right to assassinate American citizens whom he suspects of ‘terrorism,’ merely on the grounds of his own suspicion or that of the CIA, something Bush never claimed publicly.”

91 The previous post...was a tragic mistake.

Hmm, no clear reference to any particular posting.  [puzzles around, reads comments in two different threads]

Ok, so Monty's not referring to the Bob Ross post but something else.

D00ds, srysly.  Don't assume all of us know exactly what you're talking about.  Some of us actually go to sleep on occasion, especially after getting curbstomped by the flu...

92

Posted by: Captain Hate at May 16, 2010 09:31 AM (3AE0l)

But Cap'n, did you see his interview with Newty?  It was EPIC.  I'd advise the entire MoronNation to tune in to the reruns this afternoon.  Doubtless there are going to be vid snippets all over the intertubes, but the whole thing is worth the time.  I'm not a Newt fan at all, but he said what Beck's been saying for about two years now.  Beck's considered lunatic fringe; Newt's considered mainstream.  Except for the "replace" instead of "repeal" nonsense with the EPA and DOE, I thought he hit it out of the park.

93 Additional Blond Agent: See comment #57.

94 And, Monty, I missed your "bad" post, but that book post earlier this week gave you a lot of chits, so meh, I wouldn't worry about it.

95 103 Well that's refreshing. I've been haranguing Libs for over a year to put their money where their mouths were regarding Gitmo, rendition, Patriot Act, etc. Glad to see a few of them have decided to adopt the "anti-war" pose again. Particularly good to see that Chomsky is headlining the list. He's a favorite of some of my more hardcore pseudo-intellectual Lib friends.

96 I demand Monty's head on a stick!

97 I hear the battery life sucks though.

NOne of the GPS units have a long battery life.  That large screen does take a lot of juice to light up.  Battery life though is not an issue because using it in the car it is always powered up from the cigarette lighter plug.

It is only operated on internal battery when you take it out of the car and use it for walking about.  That doesn't occur very often.

In any case the Garmin is typically about 4 hours.

98 I hear the battery life sucks though. It did, but the last update really improved it a lot. I'm getting 12-15 hours out of mine on a charge, though granted I'm not constantly on the phone talking. I mostly use mine as a music player and e-mail tool.

99 110 I demand Monty's head on a stick!

Posted by: That guy that demands heads on a stick at May 16, 2010 09:56 AM (e9JZd)

I demand Monty's head deep-fried on a stick.

100 I had.....haaaaaad to get my wife a GPS car thing.....the ritualistic " Help..I'm lost...." ritual everytime....Ev. Er. Ry. Time. That woman went somewhere that wasn't the mall or the food store was bringing me closer and closer to pounding nails into my ears.

Tom Tom solved all that.

101 Why the erasure of what can be described as the worst post eveh?

C'mon man...you're ruining the fun of making fun of it.

102

Anybody know of a hair dryer that makes no noise?

Posted by: katya at May 16, 2010 07:56 AM (JIFgo)

 

Time.

103

72 I didn't have any problem following the dialogue in the original post.

 

neither did I.  was the perfect compliment with the 100ml/min expresso IV   I had at 0500

I'll miss her Monty. she was a beaut. 

 

104

Why does Kunkle have to suffer for Monty's sins?

What the hell has Kunkle ever done to deserve this? Committed the unpardonable sin of being a small town?

When it comes to suave'n'sophisticated big-city ass-lick snobbery, it's hard to beat the morons. But hey you've been to Cedar Point! How very ordinary.

105 Except for the "replace" instead of "repeal" nonsense with the EPA and DOE, I thought he hit it out of the park.

Posted by: RushBabe at May 16, 2010 09:49 AM (W8m8i)

I agree with your assessment and was *shocked* at how well Neut came off.  Still he's disappointed me almost as many times as McCain so I wouldn't read too much into this other than he felt comfortable blasting the libs.  In fact if he now took a perpetual vow of silence I could feel comfortable that he went out on a high note.

106

Go Gov Brewer! She appeared with Gov. Palin yesterday for a Secure our Borders press conference.

"While the president is making wisecracks and playing racial politics, some groups have suggested that Arizona be punished for enforcing laws that our federal government has failed to enforce -- that is misguided at best. . . . "

"It's fair to ask whether he intends to be the Commander-in-Chief or the Comic-in-Chief. Since the president's joke was so inappropriate, I suppose, if I wanted to join in the comedian game, I could suggest that he should not give up his day job. Unfortunately, though, he isn't doing very well at that one, either."

"

 

107

. . . it is always powered up from the cigarette lighter plug.

It's an accessory outlet, ya old geezer.

108

That is so cuuute!

The apology (even though I don't get why), not the silly pic.

109 That woman went somewhere that wasn't the mall or the food store was bringing me closer and closer to pounding nails into my ears. Oh, God, man. I'm right there with you. My ex was the same way. She'd call me on the cell and say, "I'm lost." "What street are you on?" I'd ask. "The one with the two churches," she'd answer. (I'd roll my eyes.) "No, hon, I mean the name of the street you're on." She'd go silent for a moment, then say, "I don't know. I don't see a street sign." "What direciton are you headed?" "Towards downtown." (I'm rolling my eyes again.) "No, hon, I mean what direction: north, south, east, or west?" "I don't know. Kind of diagonal." I'd end up asking her to look for landmarks, buildings, trees, or just make random left and right turns until she saw something that looked familiar. And this, mind you, was in a town we had lived in for five years at that point.

110 It's an accessory outlet, ya old geezer.

Yeah, I'm a hopeless old fart who still calls it a cigarette lighter plug even though now the autos never include the actual lighter part.

111

Ever since I saw Pelosi and Newt on the sofa with Newt's head in her crotch I can't seem to trust the guy.

112

119 Kunkle, OH is a "small, podunk" town?  Seriously?

BWAHAHAHHAHAHA...omg...hahhahahhahaha

Try growing up in a town with a population of 350 (at its height, and that might be counting all the stray cats and dogs)...where the only businesses are 4 bars, a general store (with bank branch in back), and the grain elevator (we did have our own post office though, it was set up for a time in the old railroad depot).  Where the main street is actually a county road and people have no compunctions about riding their horses or Harleys on the sidewalks, where the getaway vehicle in a historic robbery was...wait for it...a wheelbarrow.

But at least my hometown is interesting.

113

With America's foreign policy in full suck mode, Barry sends Rambo to admit the stupidity of 'Smart Diplomacy'.

http://tinyurl.com/26tpuxc

This is either a stunning admission that Barry's naive foreign policy or projecting American mediocrity to the world is an epic failure (which it clearly is) or this is an massively transparent political shift in advance of the '10 elections.  Either way, there is no doubt that the important powers of the world are laughing at America under Barry and that the world is much more dangerous than it was a year and a half ago.

114 Apology accepted.  It's not like I read that idiotic post, anyway.  I stopped after the first two paragraphs because I could tell that it was a complete waste of time. 

115

If one were to get a GPS, what would get the AoS seal of approval?

I hate them.

We have one, we pay $$ for the updates every year and it still isn't up to date. I had it send me down a cul de sac at night in a city I was unfamiliar with and it kept insisting I go an impossible way. Similar things have happened a bunch.

They can be useful, but it's not good to rely on them and not bother with a map or directions. In Dallas/Fort Worth, it was telling me to stay to the left through an interchange, which wasn't completely wrong, but I knew I had to take a right exit very very soon after that, so I was moving to the right. If I hadn't looked at a map and known where I was going, I would have missed the turn completely.

Other people seem to have better luck than me.

116

Anybody know of a hair dryer that makes no noise?

Air

117 Doesn't Gingrich, like Miss Lindsey Graham, support Crap and Tax?

118 I demand Monty's head deep-fried on a stick.

I require an in-person apology for the the irremediable filth that he dast publish on this here fine blog.

Well, no...

Not really...

But shouldn't someone go up north and check this Monty character out?

119

If one were to get a GPS, what would get the AoS seal of approval?

I've used Garmins for years. Love 'em. Make sure you get "text to speech".It tells you the street names, rather than just how far to the next turn.

I bought my mama a Garmin Nuvi 255w for Mom's Day. I got it for about $85 bucks on Amazon with free shipping.

120 Morning.

Back from work.

Goin' to bed.

G'night.

121 "It's an accessory outlet" When the hell did that happen!? I just say plug it in that lighter jawn.

122

So...it's just me that has bad luck with a Garmin?

 

Sigh.

123 I have the uncanny ability so it seems to look at a map and then drive there. I got my husband and son each a GPS because they are far less able. Once, I decided to use the GPS. It sent me around and around in a circle in a residential neighborhood near where I wanted to go but never getting me there. I haven't used it since.

124
I'm convinced ebay is the best place to buy shit.

125 Posted by: unknown jane at May 16, 2010 10:22 AM (5/yRG)

LOL, you did see my post on Scott, GA right???? Population 300 when the church is meeting on Sunday.

126 Crap. I missed a post worthy of quick redaction? Fiddlely-foo!

127

Yeh, dagny, I do pretty well on my own. My husband used to be a navigator, so he does things carefully and plans ahead.

I remember leaving a party and while he's looking at the directions we had to get there, and starting to reverse them...meanwhile I've taken the first 3 turns because I just...could.

I cannot do that anywhere near as well I used to. When I was a kid and teenager, I knew every street name of everywhere I'd go. But I just don't retain that any more, and haven't since my mid-twenties.

128 re Garmin reliability:

I did a lot of research before buying the Garmin.  If you look at all the ratings and customer reviews on Amazon it was rating among the top.  (at least the 255W and 260W was.

It comes with one free update in all cases and some models come with permanent free updates.

What I have found is that it is pretty reliable for getting you to a location but it ALWAYS will default to the shortest route which is not always the best route.

Once you get use to the thing it is hard to do without it.

My wife uses it religiously while I check a computer program that I have had for years and then print a copy of a Google or Bing map for reference.

129 dagny, Bless you, glad to hear I'm not the only one. GPS helps some, but cripples others. GPS is making folks lose their ability to navigate. (If you don't have the knack, get the device.) I've folks reprogram the damn thing and wait for new instructions after they missed one turn right near their destination. Should have taken his man card right then and there.

130

Oh, I am using the GPS as a teaching tool. Plug it in to an outlet in the back and let the kids use it, tell me where to go, see the street names, etc.

_{Listen to me say "no, that's not the best way. I'm not listening to that thing."}

131 I've folks reprogram the damn thing and wait for new instructions after they missed one turn right near their destination.

LOL, the Garmin recalculates automatically if you miss a turn.  That is sometimes annoying if you don't take the "shortest" route that it wants you to take.

132 GPS: "Recalculating" Me: "STFU"

133

141  No, I did not see that -- trying to catch up and skimming a lot (ok, just not reading large segments).

I'm guessing Scott, GA could qualify as a sister "city" to my hometown (although I defy Scott to have a robbery where the getaway vehicle was a wheelbarrow).

Best part: my hometown was the biggest town in a 15 mile radius -- the real hole in the walls only had about 50 people in them -- a booming metropolis of opportunity, vice, and actual sidewalks!

134 I defy Scott to have a robbery where the getaway vehicle was a wheelbarrow).

LOL, the most likely getaway vehicle in Scott when I was growing up would have been a mule.

135 As for GPS, never used one, never will -- fail to see where they are any better than actual maps (and sometimes maps don't work all that well). 

136

How useful it is also depend on the layout of your location. If it's the least bit logical and grid like, you may be better off on your own. When, however, you are dealing with roads that twist and turn, it can be difficult to figure out how to get there from here.

What I find the most useful is telling me how long until a turn so that I don't have to wait til I can see street signs that seem to have gotten smaller over the years.

137 Damn, I missed it.  Story of my life.

138 150  We have those (mules) too, but perhaps that would have been too obvious, plus he wouldn't have been able to have gotten away with as much booze as he did with the wheelbarrow (he got caught going back for a double dip -- which also illustrates a good point: nobody in town seemed to find it odd that a guy was pushing a wheelbarrow full of beer and booze down the street on a summer Sunday the first go around).

139 147, Yeah, reprogram was the wrong word, the gadget redid the instructions on its own. The thing was we had turned onto a parallel main road one block from the right main road and there were tons of connecting streets. I remember saying something like, "Dude, it's right over there. Streets like these run in parallel with connecting streets. That's the way folks in these houses get somewhere. Just take a right here and then a left at the end" "Nah, I'll let the thing tell me", he said.

140 With America's foreign policy in full suck mode, Barry sends Rambo to admit the stupidity of 'Smart Diplomacy'. http://tinyurl.com/26tpuxc Something to remember with that article, Rahm and his family have all been big supporters of Israel in the past (his father was a member of the Irgun, if memory serves). Rahm could be off the reservation a bit, expressing his own views rather than JugEars' view.

141 You mean the previous two posts, right?

142 Posted by: unknown jane at May 16, 2010 10:57 AM (5/yRG)

All this talk about small towns reminds me of something that happened years ago here. The secretary for our work group had been promoted and moved to a new position so we had hired a new one.

The first morning as we all gathered around the coffee pot for the get acquainted social the inevitable first question was "where yah from?". She said GA and of course I said well I'm from GA as well. I told her I was from Dublin and she says oh I know where that is; I grew up not far from there in Scott.  Who woulda thunk it, both of us came from that little podunk town and turned up at the same place out of State.

It turned out we were third cousins.

143 CDR M, the Norfolk area is where I first started hating the GPS. We were staying in Hampton for 2 months. It's a hard area to find your way around at first, what with 17 million bits of water and plenty of curving roads. If we'd had a model with traffic, it might have been helpful. Just too many times the shortest route was actually the most badest of allest.

144

162 LOL, we have a bit of that on my mom's side of the family -- about a quarter of the town was related to me, and our family was considered "newcomers" as a goodly portion of them went west and then a few had come back, right before and after the Civil War.

And then my mom really went off the reservation and married a NYC Italian -- the horror! (although probably for my dad this was true)

145 Yay!

146 I sleep in and miss all the good stuff.

147

Testicles. Why the name.  Do we test them?  Have you ever heard any one say that test tickles?  I think not.

148 My brother and I were driving a U-Haul back to CT fro DC when we were moving his sister-in-law. His wife was driving his car and we had borrowed sis-in-laws GPS. Unbeknownst to us she had hers programed to avoid traffic. So we are tooling up I-83 with me thinking, "Hah, at last somebody taking the logical route home without trying to drive thru Jersey." He says, "Where the hell are we?" I say, "Headed north on I-83." He says, "Oh." Two miles later he says (as we enter PA), "Pennsylvania??! WTF are we doing in Pennsylvania!" I say, "Where did you think I-83 was going to take you?"

Now that said we did have major problems with the unit in PA. At one point it insisted we were paralleling the highway about two hundred yards off of it. It dropped us off of the highway to drive through several towns business districts, and at one point it directed him to turn left into what turned out to be a mall parking lot. Shortly after that it gave up and admitted it had no clue by entering an endless update mode and he broke down and let me buy a map. (He had gotten us off of the roads I knew.)

However, even counting driving through some of the worse thunder storms I have ever seen in the Delaware Water Gap, we still got back to Connecticut before the wife and sis-in-law who had used his unit and driven up the Jersey Trnpke. And we got to see Amish folk plowing fields with mule teams.

(At one point as we are driving along we saw an SUV tearing along the plowed strip at the edge of a corn field. I nudged him and said, "You think you got problems with your GPS?" I think he would have cheerfully thrown me out of the truck at about that point.)

149 Monty, I don't care what they say, I dug the last post. I have always thought Bob Ross was a caricature, even as himself. And his mighty mountains....

150

umm wow guess I missed the kerfuffle

what am I growing today?  pain, apparently

151 Monty Apologizes for Putting Up Such a Crummy Post
Monty, this is America, Crap Sells!!!!

152 Wow soldier dead for 15 minutes was brought back to life on Fox right now

I know Fox is a damn good network, but I had no idea thay were that good.

153

170  Posted by: rawmuse at May 16, 2010 12:22 PM (jurCG)

I think Monty yanked his mea culpa post.  For some reason, he's not ashamed of the Bob Ross entry.  Would some kind soul tell teh Morons unlucky enough to have missed it what it was about?  I mean, I need to go on with my life.

154 Oh! It was the Bob Ross One!

155 Scrolling is your friend, eman. It wasn't the Bob Ross post. *sigh*

156

Once, I decided to use the GPS. It sent me around and around in a circle in a residential neighborhood near where I wanted to go but never getting me there. I haven't used it since.

I was helping my father set his up when he got one for a trip to California last year. To test it out we punched in a trip from his house to the nearest Walgreens (which is only a couple of minutes drive away). The result? Directions to drive to the place that involved going through THREE traffic lights instead of the way he always goes that only passes by one set of lights.

GPS FAIL.

157 Yeah, know what? FUCK YOU

I'm sending all your asses over a fucking washed out bridge....I sit and slave day and night and this is the fucking thanks I get?

Wait mother fuckers.

158 I see you found a photo of the real S.E. Cupp.

159 [MONTY  sits on his front stoop, wearing his favorite PHUQUE THEE, KNAVE! t-shirt. He is reading a book on his e-book reader and enjoying the springtime sunshine. His rather dimwitted cousin FLOYD runs up, clearly agitated and waving around a... dead chicken, yelling, "Look what I've found to fuck!"]

160

Well I enjoyed it and thought it was very well done.

Formatting sucked, but the main theme was spot on.

"Deep Time" is well worth the read.

161 One photo, two Cupps?

162 I think Monty yanked his mea culpa post.  For some reason, he's not ashamed of the Bob Ross entry.  Would some kind soul tell teh Morons unlucky enough to have missed it what it was about?  I mean, I need to go on with my life.

Well...

It's kind of hard to explain, really.

You know how Monty can be kind of acerbic and witty and thoughtful in some of his comments while puttiin' you some freakin' knowledge?

This post was like that, except more so.

And unreadable.

I think that I had it loaded in my browser long after he yanked it whilst I puzzled my way through...

So, let me tell you now, as the resident expert...

The original post Monty put up was the funniest, most thoughtful, filthiest and most philosophically alarming piece of writing that has ever been put up on Ace of Spades.

(I am a Lutheran now, because of it.)

And you missed it!

163 Just poking fun at Monty's very understandable attack of stage fright with no intention at all of running him off as a cob-logger.

Hell, at least he acknowledges the existence of weekend Morons who might not necessarily be watching some sporting event on the TeeVee.

Still...

Tell all of your other Moronic friends that "you were there" for the post that was so explosive it had to be yanked from AoSHQ.

Even if you weren't.

'Cause that would be kind of funny, mebbe...

Wasn't here when Gabe first started cob-logging but apparently his first scary efforts revolved around "Law of the Seas" Treatises...

Well, that's the word on the Moron street, as I hear it...

So...

Why not have Monty be the cob-logger whose posts are so potentially explosive that they could be yanked from AoSHQ at any time?

164 That coffee is enough peace offering..That is so cute..