August 30, 2010
— Gabriel Malor Even with a sympathetic writer, the enviroweenies just come off as pathetic:
They put on what they called a "CarnivOil" - a fake carnival with a stilt-wearing barker, free "tar balls" (chocolate doughnuts), and a suit-wearing "oil executive" punching somebody dressed like a crab. It was supposed to be satire, but there was a bitter message underneath: When we fight the oil and gas industry, they win."We killed the clean-energy bill! There's still no cap on oil spills!" yelled Heather Brutz, the barker, who was pretending to speak for the industry. "And now, for our graaaaaaand finale, we're going to pass the diiiiiirty-air act!"
A year ago, these groups seemed to be at the peak of their influence, needing only the Senate's approval for a landmark climate-change bill. But they lost that fight, done in by the sluggish economy and opposition from business and fossil-fuel interests.
Now the groups are wondering how they can keep this loss from becoming a rout as their opponents press their advantage and try to undo the Obama administration's climate efforts. At two events last week in Wisconsin, environmental groups seemed to be trying two strategies: defiance and pleading for sympathy.
Neither one drew enough people to fill a high school gym.
The piece goes on, at length, to describe how demoralized environmentalists are that nobody takes them seriously. Really. After the guy in the crab suit, nobody's taking them seriously. Guy in a crab suit. Dude.
Instead, the blame for the fact that the strident, but heartfelt, cries of environmentalists have gone unheeded and mostly mocked has fallen on the usual suspect: the energy industry. Not the guy in a crab suit.
Every few minutes, there would be a fight. The person in the crab costume - said to be boxing on behalf of the environment - would take on the fake oil executive. Each bout followed the same script: The oil executive would bribe the referee, who would make the crab take off his boxing gloves.Soon after, the crab would be lying on the mat, KO'd.
"Oh! The Earth is down! It's taken too many hits!" yelled "ref" Scott Thompson. "Remember, folks, just like in the real world, big oil always gets the upper hand!"
The event drew in scattered pedestrians, and afterward organizers said dozens had signed their petitions calling for action against climate change.
Remember, folks, just like in the real world, a human being dressed as a crab is a spectacle, not a persuasive case that we should hobble the economy to serve the interests of...well, I'm not even sure whose interests these enviroweenies purport to be defending. In their own words:
"What was revealed by the last year or two was that the energy industry hasn't even had to break a sweat yet in beating this stuff off. Our side did absolutely everything you're supposed to do . . . but got nowhere," whined author Bill McKibben, who co-founded the climate-focused group 350.org.
If by "did absolutely everything you're supposed to do" he meant "whined a lot, but actually persuaded nobody" then I guess that quote is accurate. In fact, the Senate refused to touch the Democratic cap and tax plan because anyone who ever took a freshman economics class knows that it would raise the price of everything made, transported, or stored using electricity. And, of course, raise the price of electricity itself, a product (like gasoline) for which the poor and middle-class are least able to absorb price hikes.
Hmmm, environmentalism turns out to be bad for the poor, bad for the middle-class, and bad for the economy. Yeah, I just can't figure out why the environuts are getting no traction. No idea. (Guy in a crab suit!)
Posted by: Gabriel Malor at
06:14 AM
| Comments (85)
Post contains 631 words, total size 4 kb.
Posted by: boniface ballers at August 30, 2010 06:20 AM (bPbwB)
What should concern the GOP is that we came that close to losing to people that STAGE FIGHTS WITH FAKE CRABS
Posted by: In Exile at August 30, 2010 06:20 AM (uVZ+G)
http://tiny.cc/6v7tt
just to save you the googling.
Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at August 30, 2010 06:21 AM (3WdEX)
Posted by: Waterhouse at August 30, 2010 06:21 AM (poAzP)
Advantage: Middle Ages. What they were trying to teach had value.
Posted by: Rob Crawford at August 30, 2010 06:21 AM (ZJ/un)
Posted by: Techie at August 30, 2010 06:21 AM (+AGDS)
Posted by: ChiTown Jerry at August 30, 2010 06:22 AM (f9c2L)
"What was revealed by the last year or two was that the energy industry hasn't even had to break a sweat yet in beating this stuff off. Our side did absolutely everything you're supposed to do . . . but got nowhere," whined author Bill McKibben, who co-founded the climate-focused group 350.org.
Which apparently means "We cried "Wolf!" over and over (especially during all that really cold winter weather that wasn't climate) but no listened..! There ought to be a law..!"
Posted by: Ira at August 30, 2010 06:22 AM (bJm7W)
"What was revealed by the last year or two was that the energy industry hasn't even had to break a sweat yet in beating this stuff off. Our side did absolutely everything you're supposed to do . . . but got nowhere," whined author Bill McKibben, who co-founded the climate-focused group 350.org.
This sure sounds a lot like a guy trying to make the case for direct action IYKWIM.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 30, 2010 06:22 AM (P9+0W)
Posted by: Ira at August 30, 2010 10:18 AM (bJm7W)
Yeah, actually the guy without gloves should beat down anyone wearing gloves. These people are just retarded.
Posted by: Ace's liver at August 30, 2010 06:24 AM (LtIsn)
They are the point of the totalitarian spear; trying to make us feel guilty for taking advantage of our large brain cases and opposable thumbs.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (formerly NJConservative) at August 30, 2010 06:25 AM (LH6ir)
Don't they know that fat people are bad for the environment?
Posted by: HeatherRadish at August 30, 2010 06:25 AM (KJkPO)
Posted by: Ira
The crab should have won easily. All he had to do was invoke an environmental claws.
Posted by: Blue Hen at August 30, 2010 06:26 AM (R2fpr)
Like the vast majority of people on the left, these tools are always an order of fries short of a Happy Meal. The enviroweenies are probably the worst, and thankfully some semblance of sanity may eventually prevail.
Posted by: Soap MacTavish at August 30, 2010 06:27 AM (554T5)
That would explain the detergent bans, and the tax breaks for washing machines that don't use enough water to wash away the dirt from my socks.
Posted by: HeatherRadish at August 30, 2010 06:27 AM (KJkPO)
...and how did they get chocolate, which is grown in tropical climes, to their location? It wasn't paddled to the U.S. by canoe, then brought to their party by bicycle.
Posted by: HeatherRadish at August 30, 2010 06:28 AM (KJkPO)
Posted by: t-bird at August 30, 2010 06:28 AM (FcR7P)
He who would pun would pick a pocket.
--------------
Hey.. no sense snapping at Blue Hen just cuz you're crabby...
Posted by: ChiTown Jerry at August 30, 2010 06:28 AM (f9c2L)
I guess his checklist looked something like:
1) Drink the Kool-Aid
2) Try to give it to everyone else.
Posted by: JEM at August 30, 2010 06:29 AM (o+SC1)
"Oh! The Earth is down! It's taken too many hits!" yelled "ref" Scott Thompson. "Remember, folks, just like in the real world, big oil always gets the upper hand!"
When they put it like that, I'm joining with Big Oil. Why? Because by their own admission, these environmental groups are losers. I'm an American, I side with a winner, not a loser.
Oh, but they'll take false comfort in the knowledge that they just can't sound-bite as well.
Posted by: Tom In Korea at August 30, 2010 06:32 AM (+gX1+)
I bet he got beat up a lot as a kid.
Posted by: HeatherRadish at August 30, 2010 06:32 AM (KJkPO)
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 30, 2010 06:33 AM (P9+0W)
Hey, I ate all of those doughnuts and then promptly shat them. I only used one square of toilet paper. Everything was above-board and totally eco-friendly. You wingnuts are a bunch of poopie heads.
Posted by: Crab Guy at August 30, 2010 06:34 AM (554T5)
Posted by: brian at August 30, 2010 06:35 AM (y05cf)
Posted by: Hippie with a paper mache Bush effegy at August 30, 2010 06:36 AM (8AyDn)
Posted by: Jean at August 30, 2010 06:36 AM (Hx1qz)
My favorite "solution" to "global warming" is the plan to put particles into the atmosphere to reflect sunlight back into space (federally funded, of course). Remember when we had a manufacturing sector that did that for free?
Posted by: HeatherRadish at August 30, 2010 06:37 AM (KJkPO)
Posted by: Berserker at August 30, 2010 06:37 AM (gWHrG)
What is it with liberals and cosplay? We got femnazis dressing up as giant hairy badgers ... sorry ... 'bears'. Now we got enviroweenies dressing up as crabs.
Posted by: memomachine at August 30, 2010 06:37 AM (MwCol)
Whoa. That guy is a poster child for pencil-necked leftist wackos everywhere.
Posted by: Soap MacTavish at August 30, 2010 06:37 AM (554T5)
Posted by: Jean at August 30, 2010 06:37 AM (s5Foi)
Most people are coming around to the knowledge now that not only are most of the things that the eco-idiots push totally stupid and useless, but that the politicians don't believe in them either.
What they see them as is a vehicle to push communism and increased government control on the population.
Posted by: Vic at August 30, 2010 06:38 AM (/jbAw)
36: These fuckers piss me off because the US barely makes anything anymore.
Well, we make crab suits. Think we've got that market segment all to ourselves.....
Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at August 30, 2010 06:38 AM (3WdEX)
Posted by: Jean at August 30, 2010 06:39 AM (bh8+e)
He who would pun would pick a pocket.
He who would quote Shakespeare would ... uh ... steal a car and stuff. I'm watching you, mister.
Posted by: Hippie with a paper mache Bush effegy at August 30, 2010 06:40 AM (8AyDn)
Wow - What losers.
Posted by: Jimmy Joe at August 30, 2010 06:41 AM (vUdSP)
Posted by: Blue Hen at August 30, 2010 10:26 AM (R2fpr)
He who would pun would pick a pocket.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur
The condoms in your wallet are waaaaay out of date.
Posted by: Blue Hen at August 30, 2010 06:41 AM (R2fpr)
Posted by: Cincinnatus, Keeper of Ancient Memes at August 30, 2010 06:50 AM (8AyDn)
Posted by: Jean at August 30, 2010 06:50 AM (kOLrd)
Posted by: Jean at August 30, 2010 06:53 AM (THrql)
Posted by: Parris Hilton at August 30, 2010 06:54 AM (8d9qD)
Posted by: Jean at August 30, 2010 06:55 AM (nOq8U)
Posted by: EC at August 30, 2010 06:57 AM (mAhn3)
Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at August 30, 2010 06:57 AM (3WdEX)
Yeah, actually the guy without gloves should beat down anyone wearing gloves.
Not true. You hit harder with your hand protected.
Posted by: HH at August 30, 2010 07:00 AM (6oDXl)
Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at August 30, 2010 07:07 AM (Rjym6)
Posted by: micmcn at August 30, 2010 07:09 AM (1T6Sr)
Everybody else was too busy fighting their bedbugs, ants and coyotes to attend. Thank you, Crab Man!
Posted by: PJ at August 30, 2010 07:09 AM (Fyjeu)
Posted by: Cincinnatus, Keeper of Ancient Memes at August 30, 2010 07:22 AM (8AyDn)
Oh man, I would have paid money to have been the one who got to beat up the guy in the Crab Suit!
Then I would have laughed at all the enviroweenies like this:
"A- HA ha ha! Gaia will submit to my lash!!!"
Posted by: Tom Servo at August 30, 2010 07:29 AM (T1boi)
Posted by: MikeinAmman at August 30, 2010 07:32 AM (elcpe)
"Clean Air," as in improved air quality, preceded massive government involvement and tracks the economy better than regulation changes. When people have extra time and energy, they clean their houses 'cause no one wants to live in a mess. When you have no time or you're tired, the chores fall behind.
So, GOOD JOB Democrats, you took a wrecking ball to the economy and now no one cares about your boutique leftist "causes" anymore!
Also, the tight-ass oil companies almost never give a dime to "skeptical" environmental groups or scientists. The "enviro-freaks" (used to) get huge donations from the public and the researchers consume billions in taxpayer dollars, and they're STILL losing.
And they can't figure out why, kind of sad.
Posted by: Merovign, Strong on His Mountain at August 30, 2010 07:32 AM (bxiXv)
Posted by: Abdominal Snowman at August 30, 2010 07:35 AM (okmLW)
Posted by: Merovign, Strong on His Mountain at August 30, 2010 07:36 AM (bxiXv)
Oh, great, now we need a gloves vs. bare hands debate thread!
Could be worse. Imagine we're discussing hockey and helmets...
Posted by: HH at August 30, 2010 07:41 AM (6oDXl)
A year ago, these groups seemed to be at the peak of their influence, needing only the Senate's approval for a landmark climate-change bill. But they lost that fight, done in by the sluggish economy...Our side did absolutely everything you're supposed to do . . . but got nowhere,"
I thought the "Green economy" was supposed to create more jobs than the old economy. Could the Enviro-Commies have been fibbing about all those jobs that were going to be created?
Maybe they should have figured a way to use the race card on this particular portfolio, that would have totally worked.
Posted by: Speller at August 30, 2010 07:44 AM (qaOKJ)
Posted by: Sam at August 30, 2010 07:45 AM (Cxsey)
I thought the "Green economy" was supposed to create more jobs than the old economy.
Well, a bunch of road construction crews are doing real well in my neck of the woods.
Wind turbine repair, not so much.
Posted by: HH at August 30, 2010 07:48 AM (6oDXl)
The warmists made the leap from hypothesizing human impact on climate to demonizing fossil fuels and the aspirational Western lifestyle they support without ever establishing real proof for any of the steps in between.
So now they're standing up atop this giant tower of Rice Krispies bars telling us we're all evil, but the tower is melting and they're scrambling around looking like idiots.
What's scary about the whole thing, of course, is how close we came to being bent over and reamed by these guys; were it not for the work of a very few people (often outside the 'professional' climate-science field) and the Climategate leaker(s) their UN-subsidized, biodiesel-fueled bandwagon would be squashing all of us.
Pity the poor Climategate leakers/hackers, who in a more perfect world would deserve every award a grateful world could heap on their shoulders. Instead, their identity must remain more secret than The Stig's lest Her Majesty's Government sic the dogs of law on them.
Posted by: JEM at August 30, 2010 07:50 AM (o+SC1)
As James Hansen of NASA has acknowledged by admitting that democracy would never solve the climage change problem. People would never vote for what needs to be done - to willingly go back into the stone age.
Posted by: Pyrocles at August 30, 2010 07:51 AM (cv5Iw)
Pity the poor Climategate leakers/hackers, who in a more perfect world would deserve every award a grateful world could heap on their shoulders
Couldn't agree more. Whoever that was, deserves a Nobel Prize. Just not sure what catagory.
Posted by: HH at August 30, 2010 07:55 AM (6oDXl)
Take it from someone who knows a thing or two about beating off... it isn't easy doing it without breaking a sweat.
Posted by: Masturbatin' Pete at August 30, 2010 07:56 AM (9cbd0)
Posted by: John S at August 30, 2010 08:24 AM (+q/hN)
Bullshit. You're talking about a MAN SIZED CRAB here, doofus. Without gloves, he should have snipped off Mister Big Oil's head with one claw behind his back.
Shell. Whatever.
Posted by: Steve Skubinna at August 30, 2010 09:05 AM (JGANq)
Well now, that's how they came on, some years back.
Posted by: ZZMike at August 30, 2010 07:46 PM (GMeSz)
Posted by: letitbe at August 31, 2010 01:30 AM (BG/R0)
Posted by: angle at November 15, 2010 04:44 PM (QRtFb)
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Posted by: Ira at August 30, 2010 06:18 AM (bJm7W)