Ace of Spades HQ

February 09, 2010

Wes Anderson Directs the Spider-Man Reboot
— Ace

They're rebooting, or at least thinking about rebooting, the franchise, re-telling the origin story and setting it all back in high school again. (After three movies? After seven years?)

Wes Anderson, the clever but increasingly precious director of Rushmore, The Royal Tannenbaums, and The Life Aquatic, was rumored to be on the short list for directors of the reboot. (So this clip claims, at least.)

Here's a damned funny look at what Wes Anderson's Spider-Man would look like.

I loves me some Owen Wilson impressions.

Thanks to EdwardR.

By the way, I updated and added a big long piece to the Sullivan post. It's about Sullivan's continuing spiral into madness... and Sarah Palin's breasts. So don't make a maniac out of me. Read it.

Posted by: Ace at 08:22 AM | Comments (72)
Post contains 136 words, total size 1 kb.

1 This is Unexpected.

Posted by: Houdini's Cadaver at February 09, 2010 08:26 AM (nz654)

They are going to reboot a franchise dating from 2002?

Hollywood is officially out of ideas.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at February 09, 2010 08:27 AM (B+qrE)

3 Wes Anderson, the clever

PPOR.

Man, I f*cking hate his films.

Posted by: Waterhouse at February 09, 2010 08:27 AM (ySQoK)

4 Increasingly precious

I guess I need to go back to school, I never heard "precious" used as a flaming insult before.

Posted by: jimmythenotable at February 09, 2010 08:28 AM (atV5h)

5 Isn't he one of the guys who thinks Roman Polanski did nothing wrong?

Posted by: HeatherRadish at February 09, 2010 08:28 AM (mR7mk)

6 Spider man? You smoking some medical Mary Jane?

OT, Murdha dies of botched surgery in The Bethesda NAVAL Hospital.

I seem to remember the Marines are part of the Navy, just saying, so sorry we cut your intestines, we're government workers.

Oh, and I understand a ruptured intestine is REAL painful. Not as bad as sitting in jail waiting for your trial, but close.

Posted by: Kemp at February 09, 2010 08:29 AM (2+9Yx)

I think is long past time for a reboot of the Spiderman reboot. After all, I've heard about this for about two minutes now. Time for a reimagining already!

Posted by: Bender at February 09, 2010 08:29 AM (pLTLS)

8 Isn't he one of the guys who thinks Roman Polanski did nothing wrong?

Yep. Wes Anderson is an apologist for child rapists.

Posted by: Waterhouse at February 09, 2010 08:30 AM (ySQoK)

9 I took my daughter to see "Fantastic Mr Fox" by Anderson. She loved it, and I enjoyed it. I kinda want to see if he can make Spidey a gangly guy in 70s retro clothes

Posted by: eddiebear at February 09, 2010 08:31 AM (wnU1W)

10 There's some things a director shouldn't experiment with..

For Wes, that one thing would be film.

Posted by: Waterhouse at February 09, 2010 08:31 AM (ySQoK)

11 Anderson did sign the Polanski petition, right before releasing a children's movie - The Fantastic Mr. Fox (which I enjoyed after downloading the torrent).

Posted by: Xander Crews at February 09, 2010 08:32 AM (ZYX5j)

12 That youtube was better than every Wes Anderson film ever made, put together. And it only took two minutes.

Posted by: George Orwell at February 09, 2010 08:34 AM (AZGON)

13 He'd dead, Jim.

Posted by: Dr. McCoy, standing over Spidey's corpse at February 09, 2010 08:34 AM (I/MqP)

14 Wes Anderson may be directing the next Spider-Man movie. In other words, I now have another reason to not go see it.

Posted by: Crusty at February 09, 2010 08:35 AM (GvSpB)

15 Rushmore is good. Bottle Rocket was okay.

Royal Tenenbaums is one of the worst movies I've ever seen, and probably the worst movie ever nominated for best picture.

Posted by: King Friday at February 09, 2010 08:35 AM (QGr07)

16 The Royal Tannenbaums, and The Life Aquatic

I turned both of those off about 20 minutes in. Now I know what the common denominator between them is. Sheesh.

Posted by: Russtovich at February 09, 2010 08:36 AM (ZXGQD)

17 Reboots, knockoffs, and sequels. I read someth9ing a few weekas ago that say out of the top 20 grossing films of the last decade NONE of them was an original film.

Posted by: Vic at February 09, 2010 08:37 AM (QrA9E)

18 In Hollywood, everything new is old.

Watch out for the digital 3-D version of My Dinner With Andre, coming to theaters soon.

And I expect to see an Avatar reboot by 2015....

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at February 09, 2010 08:37 AM (I/MqP)

19 That was dead on perfect. Particularly the beret.

Posted by: alexthechick at February 09, 2010 08:38 AM (8WZWv)

20 And I expect to see an Avatar reboot by 2015.... Are you kidding? 2011 at the outside.

Posted by: George Orwell at February 09, 2010 08:39 AM (AZGON)

21 Wes Anderson directs a new Spiderman = Do Not Want.

Posted by: DelD at February 09, 2010 08:48 AM (eWtdM)

22 I'm dreading the reboot of Disco music. That is gonna suck!

Posted by: Mike H at February 09, 2010 08:50 AM (cvvNY)

23 I thought the Royal Tenenbaums was brilliant, his other movies were merely ok. The Life Aquatic was horrible. Give him a shot, it's kind of an inspired choice. Imagine how a spiderman would have been if oliver stone directed it.

Posted by: McLovin at February 09, 2010 08:57 AM (RwvN1)

24 OT, Murdha dies of botched surgery in The Bethesda NAVAL Hospital.

He never should have been allowed to be operated on in the enemy's hospital. I guess there wasn't the time to helicopter him into Tora Bora. Too bad, too, because it's just a quick hop skip and a jump from our bases in Japan.

Posted by: AmishDude at February 09, 2010 09:11 AM (T0NGe)

25 I actually liked Life Aquatic and Royal Tenenbaums a lot, probably more than most people. But, like a lot of folks around here, I refuse to underwrite the Roman Polanski Defense Fund by seeing anything else by Anderson.

Posted by: Crusty at February 09, 2010 09:12 AM (GvSpB)

I'm dreading the reboot of Disco music. That is gonna suck!

Wasn't Techno the reboot of Disco?

Posted by: eleven at February 09, 2010 09:13 AM (7DB+a)

27 I'm beginning to think that "reboot" is synonymous with "Beat a dead horse"

Posted by: Hellfire at February 09, 2010 09:13 AM (iV6L6)

28 28 I'm dreading the reboot of Disco music. That is gonna suck!

Wasn't Techno the reboot of Disco?

Shows you what an old fart I am. I only know about Techno from watching the Venture Brothers.

I meant the platform shoes, the ghey bell bottoms and prodigious cocaine usage.

Posted by: Barack Obama at February 09, 2010 09:16 AM (cvvNY)

29 Man, I f*cking hate his films.

Same here. Rushmore and the royal Tennenbaums were annoying in their obvious attempts at quirkyness, but i could at least make it the entire way through them, but Life Aquatic? Damn was that bad.

Posted by: koopy at February 09, 2010 09:17 AM (XllG0)

30 People I know whose opinions on movies I generally respect really like Wes Anderson films and go on at length about how great they are. But every time I sit down to watch one of them (for example, The Darjeeling Limited), I mostly find them tediously annoying and ultimately, boring. So I don't see what the big attraction is.

Posted by: OregonMuse at February 09, 2010 09:19 AM (hoowK)

31 The Life Aquatic could be used at Gitmo for Enhanced Interrogation.

Posted by: AE at February 09, 2010 09:20 AM (BBNWZ)

32 Royal Tenenbaums is one of the worst movies I've ever seen, and probably the worst movie ever nominated for best picture.

Ahem.

Posted by: Titanic at February 09, 2010 09:20 AM (hoowK)

33 Royal Tenenbaums is one of the worst movies I've ever seen, and probably the worst movie ever nominated for best picture.

Just you wait, pal..

Posted by: Avatar at February 09, 2010 09:21 AM (hoowK)

34 Anyone else remember Ang Lee directing The Hulk?

Please. Keep that stuff in the art houses and out of my funny-book movies. Thank you.

Posted by: tsj017 at February 09, 2010 09:21 AM (4YUWF)

35 A reboot already? The last movie came out, what, 3 years ago? It would be nice if Hollywood had an original idea now and then.

Posted by: kefka at February 09, 2010 09:23 AM (n1uMU)

36 And speaking of crappy film directors, I advanced the proposition at my dinner table last week that Quentin Tarantino was basically a B-movie director with delusions of grandeur and I thought my (almost adult) kids were going to kill me.

Posted by: OregonMuse at February 09, 2010 09:24 AM (hoowK)

The only thing a reboot of Spiderman needs to do to be successful is rewrite Mary Jane into something other than a whiny, self-absorbed little whore with whacked priorities.

"I know you save thousands of lives and stop city levelling plots on a daily basis, but you're just not putting enough effort into this relationship."

Oh, and get an actress with a smaller head whose face doesn't scream for me to kick its ass with my fists.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at February 09, 2010 09:28 AM (U37Ux)

38 There's supposedly a Robocop reboot in the works that's going to be directed by Darren Aranofsky. Now that should be interesting.

Posted by: OregonMuse at February 09, 2010 09:30 AM (hoowK)

39 I read somewhere they are going to 'reboot' Superman again too. They aren't even trying anymore are they?

Posted by: kefka at February 09, 2010 09:31 AM (n1uMU)

38 @ Tarantino

I thought I was beginning to think I was the only one who can't jump on board the Tarantino blowjay train. His "films" either come across like he's trying too hard, or he has his actors overact, or both.

Reservoir Dogs comes to mind, and that's really the only one of his movies I liked.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at February 09, 2010 09:32 AM (U37Ux)

Oh, and get an actress with a smaller head whose face doesn't scream for me to kick its ass with my fists.

Word. I thought she was supposed to be attractive.

Plus I kinda want to punch Toby MacGuire in the face too.

Double fail in the casting department.

Posted by: eleven at February 09, 2010 09:36 AM (7DB+a)

42 And they're gonna reboot Predator. Get an original idea Hollywood!

This Spider Man thing is happening because Raimi got pissed with Sony wanting every supervillian in the Marvel Universe fighting Spidey in one film. He said 3 was too much in Spidey 3 and ruined it. Sony wanted to do the same again with Spidey 4 and Raimi said no. So he and the cast walked.

I wonder if Sony is rushing this because Disney bought Marvel and the rights to all the characters are going to them soon (if they haven't already).

Posted by: Iblis at February 09, 2010 09:39 AM (9221z)

43 Eh, i like Tarantino and his obsession with 70's nostalgia. Yeah, he's pretty much a one trick pony but his flicks are usually entertaining.

Posted by: koopy at February 09, 2010 09:41 AM (XllG0)

44 Reservoir Dogs comes to mind, and that's really the only one of his movies I liked.

Inglourious Basterds started out really good. The farmhouse scene was absolutely brilliant and I thought, holy shit, maybe this time Tarantino actually made a worthwhile movie, but no, it quickly descends into his usual revenge/bloody retaliation one-note symphony, so I was disappointed.

Posted by: OregonMuse at February 09, 2010 09:56 AM (hoowK)

45 (After three movies? After seven years?)

Hollywood is running out of original ideas...

Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at February 09, 2010 10:13 AM (8PFPH)

46 I don't think I really get Wes Anderson movies, but they do make Michael Bay movie scripts tolerable.

Usually if the movie sucks but I like on of the characters I can stay with it. Other than Bottle Rocket, everything Anderson does is a piece of shit.

The good news for him is whatever the hell Sony is doing with Spider-Man it is bound to get better with Anderson.

Posted by: wtfci at February 09, 2010 10:22 AM (+zo63)

47 Of all the "new" movies that needed a do over was the Hulk 2003 version re done in 2008 because the 2003 sucked. The 2008 was way better. Hollywood could not get a new idea if it bit them in the ass. Like we need a new Robin Hood movie. When is a HE-MAN reboot coming out.... soon it is in the works.

Posted by: tjexcite at February 09, 2010 10:24 AM (KKaPf)

48 Wow this gets worse and worse.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at February 09, 2010 10:27 AM (PQY7w)

"And they're gonna reboot Predator."

You don't need to reboot any movie that contains the line "Buncha slack-jawed faggits around here, his stuff'll make you a god-damn sexual tye-ranna-sorus. Just like me."

Cinema gold.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at February 09, 2010 10:27 AM (U37Ux)

50 While the subject is movies, anyone ever notice this at the end of Back to the Future lll? Why;s that kid pointing at his weiner? And what's the deal with Michael J. Fox movies and dudes schlongs? There's a scene in Teen Wolf where some dude in the background whips his out, it's on youtube, i won't link because it's nsfw.

Posted by: koopy at February 09, 2010 10:29 AM (XllG0)

51 after Spiderman 3 (or 'Cryderman') it can only get better. um, wait.

Posted by: negentropy at February 09, 2010 10:38 AM (27KAF)

52 Spiderman was the metrosexual of super hero crowd.

Posted by: kathysaysso at February 09, 2010 10:47 AM (ZtwUX)

53 Supposedly James Cameron had a script written for spider-man back before it was made. If you want to see how shitty the ideas of Hollywood really are try and find that. You think the movies that do get made are shitty? Read some of the crap that gets scrapped.

Posted by: buzzion at February 09, 2010 10:50 AM (oVQFe)

54 So, a "reboot" is now Hollywood-speak for "another sequel". When does Cameron decide to "reboot" Terminator, Aliens, and Titanic?

Maybe we can reboot "The Godfather", where Sonny gets tipped off about the tollbooth, becomes the new Boss and Michael fulfills Don Vito's dream that he become Senator Corleone

Posted by: kbdabear at February 09, 2010 10:53 AM (sYxEE)

I advanced the proposition at my dinner table last week that Quentin Tarantino was basically a B-movie director with delusions of grandeur and I thought my (almost adult) kids were going to kill me.

Tarantino's amusing when you're in the 13-25 age demographic because his films are basically real-life cartoons. In other words, his films are enjoyable when you are emotionally and intellectually stunted.

I gave "Inglorious Basterds" a shot because I thought it was going to be two hours of Nazi-hunting, which is what the trailer implied. I wasn't surprised that it turned into a self-referential smug-fest that focused on an unsympathetic heroine, but it was still disappointing. His sole reason for existing anymore seems to be to give Aspberger-afflicted geeks with a reason to be a little less self-loathsome.

Posted by: David Axelrod's Combover at February 09, 2010 10:54 AM (/Pw+r)

56 Reboot of Goodfellas; "Heh, that's a good one Batts. Salut!"

Posted by: kbdabear at February 09, 2010 10:54 AM (sYxEE)

57 Reboot of Star Wars; "Reconfigure that exhaust port!"

Posted by: kbdabear at February 09, 2010 10:56 AM (sYxEE)

Off of some movie website I read, there will be a "Battleship" movie coming out.....no, not about some battleship, but about the kids game of the same name.

And they are also redoing "Rio Bravo", so the Duke can officially roll over in his grave.

These items, along with the Spiderman reboot by Wes Anderson, kills my interest in movies for a while. I hate Wes Anderson with the searing heat of 1000 suns.

Posted by: Crowsting at February 09, 2010 11:01 AM (61BD9)

59 That Alien 3 Hicks centric script that got canned was actually pretty good. Better than the dreck we actually got.

Iron Man 2 actually looks pretty good.

They also said that Terminator 5, Gi Joe 2, Transformers 3 and another Bond flick are in the works.
And lets face it Hasbro will keeping underwriting 2 hour commercials as long as they can get kids in the theaters. GI Joe would've been awesome if they followed the GI Joe Resolute model. Granted it was uneven, but it was only a proof of concept. And has one of the best sword-fights of all time. And there are always rumors that Disney wants another Pirates, to keep that franchise going. And another Conan is perpetually in the works.

Posted by: Iblis at February 09, 2010 11:01 AM (9221z)

You can beat a dead horse in water, but you can't drink its blood.

Posted by: Threadjumper at February 09, 2010 11:03 AM (C39a6)

"And they're gonna reboot Predator."

This don't look like a reboot:

http://tinyurl.com/yh8deyo

And aren't they making an Alien prequel?

Posted by: Dr. Varno at February 09, 2010 11:05 AM (3fiIy)

and then there is, "Get to the choppa..."

or Dutch Ahnuld: " What the fuck are you?"

Bad Ass Predator: "What the fuck are you?"

Posted by: Threadjumper at February 09, 2010 11:07 AM (C39a6)

63 Bill Murray as Jay Jonah Jameson

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at February 09, 2010 11:59 AM (IqfKc)

64
Tarantino movies ... ugh.

The characters talk and talk and talk and talk.

Then they commit violence.

Then they talk and talk and talk and talk.

Then they commit violence.

Rinse and repeat, endlessly, until the final credits.

The talking is supposed to witty. It's actually smug, excessively ironic, stupid, and tedious.

Oh, yeah, and Toby McGuire is gay. His BFF is Leonardi DiCaprio, also gay, duh. They have apartments in the same building.

Posted by: Roughcoat at February 09, 2010 12:16 PM (Uh+NZ)

65
And, re Inglourious Bastards, did anyone else notice that Col. Landa and the SS guy in the basement were essentially the same character? They talked alike, acted alike, i.e., fey, ironic, mincy.

Posted by: Roughcoat at February 09, 2010 12:21 PM (Uh+NZ)

66 > (After three movies? After seven years?) S3 was such a screw-up that something had to be done. I had given Raimi the benefit of the doubt when I heard about the overloading of villains in S3 but he couldn't pull it off. (Sandman and Goblin Jr. would have been cool. There was no space to slip Venom into that mix) I heard that Venom was in S3 at the insistance of Sony. Too bad for Raimi, his name was on the movie! I was willing, no eager, to see Vulture in S4 (very underrated villian and would make for outstanding action scenes) but when I heard he wanted a Vulturess as well, I thought it's time for a fresh take. Raimi's no hack. There was a ton of great stuff in S3. But the total package stank.

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at February 09, 2010 12:35 PM (3yMzT)

67 Rushmore was brilliant because it was filmed at the school I went to as a kid. The very school where as a kid, I became a member of the Merry Marvel Marching Society; (I had a six foot poster of Spidey in my room). I would rather have Raimi. Raimi MADE S3 work even though he had suits telling him what kinda coffee to order before he got outta bed in the morning. Come on, it was not great but it worked with all the endless shit they made him put in. If they left him alone it would have been great. What will it be without Toby?Personally, I think it is time for an Avatar reboot. Time to go back and make it with the technology available in 2010 instead of that old shit.

Posted by: Prepschool at February 09, 2010 12:49 PM (dtJc/)

68 Here is a secret of comic book films, the sequels tend to do better in the BO and be better watchable films because people hate sitting through origin stories. In Dark Knight, Spiderman 2 etc. they hero can hit the ground running, there is no discovering his powers, an ancient alien heritage or having to undergo some life altering tragedy. It is just establish the villain and commence the kick-ass.

This is why M Night's Unbreakable was a slog and total audience turn off the entire film was just on lone origin story that was setting up for a sequel. But Night has what I call the "Michael Cimino Syndrome" as a filmmaker he cannot resist the urge to SHOW the entire KITCHEN SINK when it comes to the narrative.

Now with this reboot we have to now after 3 films be subjected to another origin story. then again it was established by Cracked.com that the 4th film in a comic book series always has to be the reboot.

Posted by: Gary B at February 09, 2010 01:07 PM (1gWfF)

69 They are going to reboot a franchise dating from 2002? Of course. Wes is slated to direct the reboot of "Avatar" in 2013.

Posted by: cheshirecat at February 09, 2010 02:07 PM (6Ypn3)

70 The Royal Tannenbaums, and The Life Aquatic I turned both of those off about 20 minutes in. Now I know what the common denominator between them is. Sheesh. So, does that mean Bill Murray will be donning the costume then?

Posted by: cheshirecat at February 09, 2010 02:09 PM (6Ypn3)

71 Royal Tenenbaums is one of the worst movies I've ever seen, and probably the worst movie ever nominated for best picture. Just you wait, pal.. Poseurs

Posted by: Brokeback Mountain at February 09, 2010 02:11 PM (6Ypn3)

72 I read somewhere they are going to 'reboot' Superman again too. They aren't even trying anymore are they? You mean: Spiderman II, Electric Reboogaloo?

Posted by: cheshirecat at February 09, 2010 02:14 PM (6Ypn3)

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