1 http://tinyurl.com/3yf4g67

2 Soccer's OK, I guess.  I mean, you know, for people who lack opposable thumbs.

3 Gabe, there's a typo in your headline.

"World Cup: Group C Scoring"

You typed "Sc" where you clearly intended to type a "B"

No need to thank me - I'm just happy to help.

4 US will move on.  They're the best squad in the Group (!!).

Then they we be humiliated by Whogivsafuckistan.

2 months til preseason NFL.

5 Oh good a soccer thread, the game where soccer players do everything they can not to let their friends find out that they play soccer.

6 Somebody should put up a post with the liveblog thingy, and we could liveblog the Word Cup.

Or paint drying. We could talk about that too.

7 Nobody runs harder than soccer players.
Nobody works harder on their skills than soccer players.
Nobody spends as much time putting a game plan together than soccer players.
I love soccer.

And yet it still sucks ass on TV.

8 snorrrtttt. Viva Chavez! snorRrorhrrt. cough cough.

9 I've tried to give soccer an honest chance, have watched both US games every minute, and just get extremely disappointed. I just don't understand it's appeal. Looks like a fun atmosphere to be there at the game, but it is just a god awful sport and is grating to watch. I dunno.

10 Can't wait for the NFL season.  Then I can complain about how the players are a bunch of sissies who have to wear pads and only have 10 minutes of action spread out over 3 hours.  *yawn*

11 "Can't wait for the NFL season.  Then I can complain about how the players are a bunch of sissies who have to wear pads and only have 10 minutes of action spread out over 3 hours.  *yawn*"

If you're a flopper in the NFL (Albert Haynesworth), you're universally mocked for it.

If you're a flopper in the World Cup, apparently they give you a gold watch.

12 Go Algeria! Never occurred to me i'd ever need to say those words, but the sooner the US gets bounced the sooner people can forget all about soccer again. Hope we lose by at least a touchdown.

13 Posted by: Masturbatin' Pete at June 20, 2010 04:05 PM (DKV0/)

That is still the best moniker.  Ever.

14 Doesn't the fact that by how many goals you beat a team by can determine whether or not you get to go on show just how ridiculous scoring rules in Soccer is?

15 If you're a flopper in the NFL (Albert Haynesworth), you're universally mocked for it.

If you're a flopper in the World Cup, apparently they give you a gold watch.

That's true. I wonder how many felonies you can commit before the NFL gives you a life-time ban.  Or how many women you can rape.  Or how many shootings you can be involved in.  Or how many dog fighting rings you can get busted for.  Cause nothing says American exceptionalism like glorifying criminals!

16 Why is it whenever I look at that graphic, I keep looking for the banana peel that poor guy is slipping on?

17 Our criminals are the best in the world! Show some pride, FPW.

18 Sony Make Believe. Worst ad campaign ever?

19 Wow, crazy ending to the Brazil - Ivory Coast match.

20 2 months til preseason NFL.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at June 20, 2010 03:55 PM (WEq6o)

--I love the NFL, but please, don;t tout the preseason as anything worth anticipating.

21 BTW, I just love how France is falling crumbling like the 0bama presidency in a matter of days.

22 Shouldn't the headline read, "World Cup: Group C Boring"?

23 Wow, crazy ending to the Brazil - Ivory Coast match.

Posted by: logprof at June 20, 2010 04:34 PM (vjr8v)

Yes it was!  The Brazilian is going to be out for the Portugal match, that's going to be interesting.

Have to say, I don't think the 2nd goal by Brazil should have been allowed, there were two intentional hand-balls on that play by the guy who scored. I can't believe the ref didn't call that!

24 Sorry, Masturbatin' Pete, I missed your #3.

25 Brazil plays some serious futbol. But the Yankess/Mets were more fun to watch.

26 20 2 months til preseason NFL.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at June 20, 2010 03:55 PM (WEq6o)

--I love the NFL, but please, don;t tout the preseason as anything worth anticipating.

Posted by: logprof at June 20, 2010 04:36 PM (vjr8v)

How about 2 months until we know whether Brett Favre will play or not?  You know that the guys at ESPN are waiting for that.  Need to know if they need to stock up on hand lotion or not.

27 Masturbatin' Pete hates soccer because hand balls are against the rules.

28 This French meltdown is just awesome. Everybody's panties are in a knot! This is making the whole cup for me!

29 Wait. You're telling us the French quit because someone used foul language? That's not a headline. That's "any day ending in 'y'."

30

Have to say, I don't think the 2nd goal by Brazil should have been allowed, there were two intentional hand-balls on that play by the guy who scored. I can't believe the ref didn't call that!

Posted by: gop_patriot at June 20, 2010 04:44 PM (hFayh)

--I thought it was bogus too, and changed the pace of the game, although not as much so as if the Ivorians had developed a sense of urgency earlier.

31 What happens if everybody in a Group plays to nothing but 0-0 draws?

Who would advance then?

32

How about 2 months until we know whether Brett Favre will play or not?  You know that the guys at ESPN are waiting for that.  Need to know if they need to stock up on hand lotion or not.

Posted by: buzzion at June 20, 2010 04:47 PM (oVQFe)

Come on, you know you love every minute of it!

Hmmm, the Gulf Coast is lookin' kind of gross . . . maybe Minnesota will be nicer.

On the other hand, maybe I need to stay down here and help the folks.

Decisions, decisions . . .

33 Sorry lads, but I have one thing to say: Come on, England!!!!

34 33 Sorry lads, but I have one thing to say:

Come on, England!!!!

Posted by: section9 at June 20, 2010 05:08 PM (H6lGz)

--I have also heard that England is not much less a soap opera than France right now.

35

If you're a flopper in the World Cup, apparently they give you a gold watch.

Actually, an obvious flop will get you a card and it hurts like hell to be kicked in the leg like that. In the NFL if you get hurt they carry you off and then substitute your ass. in soccer they carry you off and your team plays short until you return.

Doesn't the fact that by how many goals you beat a team by can determine whether or not you get to go on show just how ridiculous scoring rules in Soccer is?

In the NFL, one of the tie-breakers to get into the playoffs is points for and against. nice try though.

36 What happens if everybody in a Group plays to nothing but 0-0 draws?

Who would advance then?

They would draw lots.

37 What happens if everybody in a Group plays to nothing but 0-0 draws?

Who would advance then?

They'd draw lots.

Here's how tiebreaking works if the teams have the same number of points at the end of the group round, the team to move on will be the one with the :

greatest goal difference in all group matches;greatest number of goals scored in all group matches;greatest number of points in matches between tied teams;goal difference in matches between tied teams;greatest number of goals scored in matches between tied teams;drawing of lots by the FIFA Organising Committee.So, for example, if teams are tied, like they'd be in my example above where we fight to a draw with Algeria and England draws with Slovenia (Slovenia'd have 5 points, we'd have 3 and England would have 3) then first you look to the goal difference. Except that'd be zero 'cause we'd both have tied (and the goal diff right now for US and ENG is 0).

So then to the number of goals scored. We've already got 3 goals scored. ENG only has 1. So, if they draw, to move on they'd have to get at least 3 more goals than us (including any goals we score against Algeria to get to that hypothetical draw).

If ENG only get's 2 more goals than us, we move on to the next tie-breaking criteria (actually the next 3 are all the same) so it'd be to 6. Drawing lots.

If ENG only get's one more goal than us, we move on to Round of 16.

That's why I said we're in pretty good position.  ENG can still do this, but they'd have to win or draw, but make at least 3 goals (plus however many we make against Algeria to get to a draw).

38 -I have also heard that England is not much less a soap opera than France right now.

Well there's been the whole "sleeping with each other's wives thing" but that was a while ago...

39 Also, the NFL uses a coin toss as a tiebreaker if the other criteria are even.

40 Well there's been the whole "sleeping with each other's wives thing" but that was a while ago...

Posted by: Gabriel Malor at June 20, 2010 05:20 PM (1TvCg)

--Here's something.

41 The English team acts like a bunch of undertipped strippers after a bad pole dance. "Nice to see your fans boo you" - yeah, well, cry me a fucking river.

42

It's Father's Day. It's Sunday.

And all you can talk about is ball kicking.

Shameful.

43 Thank you for putting me some fucking knowledge.

44 In the English tabloids, Nicolas Anelka's moody demeanor and general Frenchiness earned him The Best Sports Nickname Evah:  "The Incredible Sulk."

45

--Here's something.

Posted by: logprof at June 20, 2010 05:25 PM (vjr8v)

 
Thanks, prof, that was *om nom nom*.

46

In the NFL, one of the tie-breakers to get into the playoffs is points for and against. nice try though.

Posted by: The Great Satan's Ghost at June 20, 2010 05:18 PM (0NZa/)

How far down is that rule in the list of tie-breakers?

47 It's Father's Day. It's Sunday.

And all you can talk about is ball kicking.

Shameful.

48 In the English tabloids, Nicolas Anelka's moody demeanor and general Frenchiness earned him The Best Sports Nickname Evah:  "The Incredible Sulk."

Posted by: Bender Bending Rodriguez at June 20, 2010 05:29 PM (uJxR

--Nobody, but nobody, has a way with words like the tabloids from our British cousins.

49 http://www.nfl.com/standings/tiebreakingprocedures

50 Brazilians are allowed to handball twice in one play before scoring.

51 Keep in mind that unlike the NFL's tiebreakers, in a round-robin group of four teams, far fewer options are available for tiebreakers.

52 50 Brazilians are allowed to handball twice in one play before scoring.

Posted by: someone at June 20, 2010 05:34 PM (DfAwB)

Yeah, it's almost like they should name it "The Brazil Rule"

53 Andrew Klavan on the Ricochet podcast said something both very true and completely hilarious: "Everything that can be said of soccer can be also be said of figure skating -- it's beautiful, it's athletic, etc." Bwa-hah-hah! (Sorry, Gabe, I don't mean to troll. I apologize, but that quote just had to be repeated.)

54 Brazilians are allowed to handball twice in one play before scoring.

Posted by: someone

What?

55 Football and soccer both have the same problem with ties, which is unsurprising since football grew out of soccer. Football used to have ties all the time. Ties were accounted for in standing, much like soccer does. Sudden death rules didn't appear till the 1970s. I remember when they did, and how much the old timers hated it. "Turns a tie-game into a coin toss," was the line.

56 I wonder if laceyunderalls would agree, but a good way to put it is:

Soccer is a not-so-pretty game played by beautiful people, while basketball is a beautiful game played by not-so-beautiful people.

57 "Turns a tie-game into a coin toss," was the line.

Posted by: Cowboy at June 20, 2010 05:43 PM (XYcTY)

--Unfortunately, in many ways that remains true.

58 I'm waiting for the NAACP to go after the All Whites.  Those Kiwis are the surprise of the tournament so far.

59 He said Kaka.

Huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh!

Yeah yeah!

Kaka!

60 Anelka coverted to Islam in 2004.  So, that sulking thing is probably better than the batshit crazy he'll probably become when he retires to Dubai.

61 Sold to women for $2. in South Africa holding the world record for rapes.
I question what the rapist would do while enraged with pain to the woman victim--killing and maiming likely.

Dr. Ehlers is distributing the female condoms in the various South African cities where the World Cup soccer games are taking place. The woman inserts the latex condom like a tampon. Jagged rows of teeth-like hooks line its inside and attach on a man's penis during penetration, Ehlers said. Once it lodges, only a doctor can remove it -- a procedure Ehlers hopes will be done with authorities on standby to make an arrest. "It hurts, he cannot pee and walk when it's on," she said. "If he tries to remove it, it will clasp even tighter... however, it doesn't break the skin, and there's no danger of fluid exposure."

62 damn

63 @62, I don't know why that story is making the rounds today.  It first surfaced like 4 years ago.

64

Did anyone see that Ivory Coast player take a dive after running halfway across the field to intentionally collide with the Brazilian star, Kaka?

That may be the last soccer game I ever watch.

Another one is the dive the Italian player took in the box because someone touched his shirt.

 

65 What we have heah is fay-yure to give a shit.

66

Among those who've played 2 matches, the best seem to be: Netherlands, Argentina, Brazil, in that order. Among those who've played to matches and have one win: Uruguay, Germany, Mexico. Among those who played two matches and have no wins: USA, Italy, England. New Zealand might be in the latter bunch, but they look a bit disadvantaged in their group and they're screwed if Italy beats Slovakia (I think Italy will).

France has gone mental and imploded in a giant fiasco, laying a smoking turd on the world stage they cherish so much. Got to hand it to them, tho, for keeping things interesting.

67

@31: "What happens if everybody in a Group plays to nothing but 0-0 draws?

Who would advance then?"

The two teams that drew winning lots....that's the final tiebreaker.

68

No doubt the Italian who went down in the box was milking it, but it did look like a legitimate foul anyway.

The Kaka foul was bs, though. That was a giant put-on and should never have been called. And, Brazil's second goal was helped in a big way by a clear handball. The goal should have been disallowed. Horrible calls in that game. Very poor and inconsistent calls going on throughout this cup.

69 New Zealand crushed Italy today, 1-1.  By all accounts, this was much hugier than the US's 1-1 victory over England.

70

@70: "New Zealand crushed Italy today, 1-1"

I've heard of crushing victories and crushing defeats.  Leave it to soccer to come up with  the crushing tie.

71

It'd be awesome if New Zealand advanced. They'd have to beat Paraguay, prolly, tall order. Like to see them do it.

72 Philadelphia Eagles had a crushing tie a couple years ago, although they didn't realize it at the time. Put them 1/2 a game ahead of the pack. Got em into the playoffs.

73 Philadelphia Eagles had a crushing tie a couple years ago, although they didn't realize it at the time. Put them 1/2 a game ahead of the pack. Got em into the playoffs.

I didn't know you could have ties in football.

Is that still true if you sign with another team?

74 Brazil second goal should be disallowed  . At first view in TV there may be doubts about it ... could be that Luis Fabiano controls the ball with the arm or with the chest  ... but in the replays it is obvious that he controls the ball with the arm ... twice!!!

But anyway , the referee made mistakes for both sides , cause what happen with Kaka was one of the most stupid red cards I have seen in a world cup . The card should be for the Ivory coast player for play-acting , as the rules say .
The second half of the match was dirty by some ivory coast players , not only because of that play-acting thing that put Kaka out of play , but because of the dirty kicks that sometimes were very dangerous as the one that put Elano out of the match .

And the important matter here is that this match is another example of the bad performance of the referees in this first phase of the world cup ... Pierre Luigi Collina should return to serve as anexample for those amateur referees , or the FIFA should change their "politically correct" methods to choose referees .

By the way , Anelka was always just a children , when he was in the Real Madrid he had a great potential , but he ruined everything because he was just retar... well , because he was just as a capricious and evil little kid , so it is not extrange he is a convert to islam .
But Anelka is not the only problem in the france team . Evra fighting with a coach assistant , the team refusing to do training , etc ... what a pity

75 Those Kiwis are the surprise of the tournament so far.

I think a big part of it is that nobody expected them to do anything on account of the fact that their opponents are usually tiny islands that barely have enough people to field a team.  They're probably rolling with it and are just like "F it, we have absolutely nothing to lose."

76 damn sockpuppet

77

 All well and good, but as my boy Hank Stram would say:

"Don't look past Algeria."

78 Posted by: Miguel at June 20, 2010 08:24 PM (n8tx1)

--I agree with all that, except the kick that took out Elano looked incidental, just another player going for the ball, not deliberate.

79 Fuck off hookah!

80 @79

Maybe you are right ... it is soccer ,and I know that even if there are not "evil intentions" sometimes there are some actions that could end up in serious injuries as broken bones , ligaments , etc  ... and it could be not fair to believe that "they did it on purpose" .
But , even if nobody was injuried , some Ivory coast players were unnecesarily and dangerously expeditives sometimes in the second half  .
Anyway , it was and interesting match ...

81 The Kaka thing was total BS. He wanted to be sent off. It gives Brazil a reason for tying with Portugal in their final match and they will tie, guaranteed. Portugal and Brazil have very close ties as they were a Portuguese colony and speak the same language. A lot of Brazilians play in La Liga. Short of losing first place in the group  Brazil will do whatever is necessary to get Portugal through. The only way they play straight up is in the knockout phase.

82 83 The Kaka thing was total BS. He wanted to be sent off. It gives Brazil a reason for tying with Portugal in their final match and they will tie, guaranteed. Portugal and Brazil have very close ties as they were a Portuguese colony and speak the same language. A lot of Brazilians play in La Liga. Short of losing first place in the group  Brazil will do whatever is necessary to get Portugal through. The only way they play straight up is in the knockout phase.

Posted by: Rocks at June 20, 2010 11:55 PM (WVbNY)

--I was wondering about that in the closing seconds, although not so much in a conspiracy sense.  I was thinking, "Well, Brazil playing a man short is too late to help Ivory Coast here, but it may have the effect of harming them since Brazil will be weaker against Portugal and Ivory Coast may still not be able to pummel the Norks enough to advance."

83

I've heard of crushing victories and crushing defeats.  Leave it to soccer to come up with  the crushing tie.

Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at June 20, 2010 07:35 PM (8MuSQ)

1968 Harvard Crimson Headline:  Harvard Beats Yale, 29-29

84 Thiery Henry's handball against Ireland to qualify for the World Cup comes back to haunt the French...I've never believed in Karma until now.