Ace of Spades HQ

March 15, 2011

13-year-old invents bacon-scented candles
— CAC

Morons everywhere rejoice! Unlike the stimulus, Rule 33 (if it exists, bacon can make it better) has yet to fail.

Appropriately this is part of his line of "Man Cans" with scents like Fresh Mitt, Pipe, and Cut Grass:

By the way, consider this an open thread.

Posted by: CAC at 01:32 PM | Comments (119)
Post contains 55 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Bacon; Is there ANYTHING it can't do?

Posted by: Tim the Enchanter at March 15, 2011 01:34 PM (izA2D)

2 Oh, and-first! First time evah!

Posted by: Tim the Enchanter at March 15, 2011 01:34 PM (izA2D)

I have that kickass bully bodyslam on loop, I cant watch it enough....AWESOME!

Posted by: Red Shirt at March 15, 2011 01:35 PM (FIDMq)

4 I'd love 'em; just wouldn't burn them on Fridays.

Jihadi repellant? lol

Posted by: Double Ply at March 15, 2011 01:36 PM (ezdtY)

5 That's gonna drive the dog bonkers.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at March 15, 2011 01:36 PM (QMtmy)

6 I have two man cans; one under each nipple

Posted by: Truman North at March 15, 2011 01:37 PM (8ay4x)

Didn't "Mandles" already do this?

http://tinyurl.com/4mowyj6

Posted by: Dr. Varno at March 15, 2011 01:37 PM (QMtmy)

8 It seems the cut grass candle could backfire on you and remind the misses that the grass actually needs to be cut.

Posted by: kj at March 15, 2011 01:38 PM (ksc5t)

9 Cut Grass---- I'd love that too, reminds me of Spring and Summer. (Aim it at people who have Seasonal Affective Disorder?)

But will it make me sneeze?

Posted by: Double Ply at March 15, 2011 01:41 PM (ezdtY)

10 Damn, bacon sounds divine, but Fresh Mitt?? Be still my foolish heart......

Posted by: MissTammy at March 15, 2011 01:41 PM (BebB7)

coal: 45%

nukes: 20%

oil and gas: 35%

liberal's smug self-satisfaction: 0%

Posted by: Truman North at March 15, 2011 01:42 PM (8ay4x)

12 Had Bacon Guacamole at lunch this afternon. Mmmmmm....bacon.

Posted by: Milo X at March 15, 2011 01:42 PM (C3KwS)

13 Mitt? Did he mean MiNt?

Posted by: Double Ply at March 15, 2011 01:42 PM (ezdtY)

14 Truman sort of beat me to it but Mancans has an unsettling image attached to it.

Posted by: kdny at March 15, 2011 01:42 PM (3j6OS)

Bacon scented candles, a bottle of value rite or MD 20/20 on ice, and ewok pr0n on the motel tv. Romance AoSHQ style.

Posted by: Alex at March 15, 2011 01:42 PM (J2ejK)

16 She had Man Cans!

Posted by: kefka at March 15, 2011 01:42 PM (UwqBE)

17 What, no flaming skull?

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at March 15, 2011 01:42 PM (qIHlG)

18 Aren't Moobs also Man Cans?

Posted by: WINNING! at March 15, 2011 01:44 PM (nEa/y)

19 You can probably use the bacon candles near railroad yards as a hobo lure.

Posted by: GnuBreed at March 15, 2011 01:44 PM (ENKCw)

20 I don't know this child, but he is like a son to me.

Posted by: MostlyRight at March 15, 2011 01:44 PM (LaqL2)

Mitt? Did he mean MiNt?

The leather baseball glove, not The Hair. The Hair smells of slightly too much cologne.

Posted by: Alex at March 15, 2011 01:44 PM (J2ejK)

Mitt? Did he mean MiNt?

as in baseball,one of the truly great smells in the world

Posted by: kj at March 15, 2011 01:45 PM (ksc5t)

23 Btw, I hope GE is found liable for some wrong doing in the reactor design, or whatever, and they get sued into nonexistence.

Posted by: kefka at March 15, 2011 01:45 PM (UwqBE)

My grandmother is 93 and she lives on her own in a single-unit condo. The condo has an elevator. And this poster is hung in the elevator.

I don't know what this has to do with anything, it just disturbs me to no end.

Posted by: Truman North at March 15, 2011 01:47 PM (8ay4x)

25 is there sawdust? I love that smell.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at March 15, 2011 01:48 PM (qqrPQ)

26 Kid has it right: Disregard females; acquire currency.

Posted by: House Ordos at March 15, 2011 01:48 PM (rgwre)

27 Man Cans is reminding me the disturbing visual of Meatloaf in Fight Club.

Shudder.

Posted by: GnuBreed at March 15, 2011 01:48 PM (ENKCw)

28 #21:

I was also thinking that maybe he meant (Fresh) Mitt Romney. :p

Posted by: Double Ply at March 15, 2011 01:49 PM (ezdtY)

29 What? No chocolate/bacon candle?

Posted by: Marie at March 15, 2011 01:49 PM (GuTKr)

I'm feeling kind of embarassed for Glenn Beck today. He has a list of the percentages of energy we use by source. And they add up to 90%.

I corrected it for my post up the blog a little. Man.

Posted by: Truman North at March 15, 2011 01:50 PM (8ay4x)

I was also thinking that maybe he meant (Fresh) Mitt Romney. :p

When Mitt gets fresh, Ann makes a little baby boy.

It's happened exactly five times.

Posted by: Truman North at March 15, 2011 01:50 PM (8ay4x)

32 Not-as-good news story involving man and cans.

Posted by: Truman North at March 15, 2011 01:52 PM (8ay4x)

The other 10 percent is my rage.

Posted by: eleven at March 15, 2011 01:52 PM (7DB+a)

is there sawdust? I love that smell.

When a woman's nose is next to man, she should faintly smell three things: sawdust, leather and fine tobacco.

Posted by: Alex at March 15, 2011 01:52 PM (J2ejK)

35 I want a candle that smells like...........oh, nevermind.

Posted by: Soona at March 15, 2011 01:52 PM (dFw8Z)

36 Guy- Sawdust is indeed one of the scents. Also: Money, Flapjacks, Pizza and Campfire.

Posted by: CAC at March 15, 2011 01:52 PM (Gr1V1)

37 The heartbreak of psoriasis gynocemastia

Posted by: Truman North at March 15, 2011 01:53 PM (8ay4x)

It's happened exactly five times.

It's always integers.

This is becoming a math blog.

Posted by: eleven at March 15, 2011 01:53 PM (7DB+a)

When a woman's nose is next to man, she should faintly smell three things: sawdust, leather and fine tobacco.

Posted by: Alex at March 15, 2011 05:52 PM (J2ejK)

And Colt 45.

Posted by: Billy Dee Williams at March 15, 2011 01:53 PM (yQWNf)

40 Disregard females; acquire currency. Posted by: House Ordos at March 15, 2011 05:48 PM (rgwre) Actually it is the following: Disregard females ??? Acquire Currency Gain better females.

Posted by: CAC at March 15, 2011 01:54 PM (Gr1V1)

41 Buy from this kid 'cuz that is a future entrepreneur, and he already knows the 1st rule of business: It's better with Bacon.

Posted by: Dave at March 15, 2011 01:54 PM (+MHxK)

stupid math joke:

pi says to i, "get real"

i says to pi, "be rational"

Posted by: Truman North at March 15, 2011 01:54 PM (8ay4x)

43 I reject the concept of i because I don't get it. I think they're just makin shit up.

Posted by: eleven at March 15, 2011 01:56 PM (7DB+a)

44 How about leather bound books and rich mahogany?

Posted by: Ron Burgundy at March 15, 2011 01:56 PM (FIDMq)

45 From WZ: House Republicans Holding Emergency Meeting to Defund NPR, Will Bring Bill to Floor on Thursday

Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at March 15, 2011 01:57 PM (UO6+e)

46 Entrepreneurism at its finest! How about saw dust or new car leather?

Posted by: Al Pipkin at March 15, 2011 01:57 PM (kwWpH)

47 These would surely confuse the animals. "Bacon for me?", they ask. "Why is there this little orange-hot-man defending it? I hate humans

Posted by: dudeinsantacruz at March 15, 2011 01:58 PM (dGdcX)

stupid math joke:

pi says to i, "get real"

i says to pi, "be rational"

Posted by: Truman North at March 15, 2011 05:54 PM (8ay4x)

BUAHAHAHAHAHA! (jeez, I feel geeky just responding to this)

Posted by: Soona at March 15, 2011 01:58 PM (dFw8Z)

stupid math joke:

pi says to i, "get real"

i says to pi, "be rational"

Posted by: Truman North at March 15, 2011 05:54 PM (8ay4x)

I have the T-Shirt

Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 15, 2011 01:59 PM (yQWNf)

50 New fire at Nuke Plant

Posted by: nevergiveup at March 15, 2011 02:01 PM (0GFWk)

stupid math pickup line:

I wish I were your derivative so that I could lay tangent to your curves.

That might be something Oedipus would say actually.

Posted by: dudeinsantacruz at March 15, 2011 02:01 PM (dGdcX)

52 Not a good sign:

U.S. orders non-emergency personnel, dependents of Fifth Fleet out of Bahrain - NBC News

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at March 15, 2011 02:01 PM (c0A3e)

53 Is this kid acquainted with the one who created Axe Cop?

Posted by: arhooley at March 15, 2011 02:01 PM (jPTXK)

54 I noticed that also. You have a blog? Where?

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at March 15, 2011 02:01 PM (qIHlG)

55 I bet this kid puts actual bacon grease in those candles, purely as an excuse to get more bacon to eat.

Posted by: dudeinsantacruz at March 15, 2011 02:03 PM (dGdcX)

56 Bring me the head of Elmo on a silver platter.

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at March 15, 2011 02:04 PM (qIHlG)

Mandel Co turned down these fragrances

Bar Room Brawler

Job Site Outhouse

Stinky Cooter

Posted by: Charlie Sheen at March 15, 2011 02:05 PM (oNphh)

58 O/T: via drudge in red: "FLASH: New Fire at Reactor No. 4...

Developing...

Tokyo Electric has alerted fire department, but building inaccessible due to radiation...

Posted by: curious at March 15, 2011 02:06 PM (k1rwm)

59 Two Workers Missing, Roof Cracked After Latest Explosion...

SPENT NUKE FUEL POOL MAY BE BOILING...

Helicopters no longer option to cool reactors...

via drudge

brett beier is confirming drudge now. On the international radiological scale they are now at 6 with chernobyl being 7....

Posted by: curious at March 15, 2011 02:08 PM (k1rwm)

60 I've finally paid off my credit card. WOOHOO!

Posted by: Alex at March 15, 2011 02:09 PM (J2ejK)

61 Maybe they should start chucking CNN and Fox News correspondents down Mt. Fuji to appease the gods.

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at March 15, 2011 02:12 PM (qIHlG)

62 On a related note:

CDC encourages Americans to stock up on Phalanx.

Posted by: Scrotin Joe Biden at March 15, 2011 02:12 PM (jq/yL)

63 U.S. Surgeon General Encourages West Coast Residents to Buy Iodide Tablets...

Sudden run on pills...

Posted by: curious at March 15, 2011 02:14 PM (k1rwm)

64 The world's greatest scent just as dems in Nevada want to outlaw air fresheners and candles in public places. Maybe Harry Reid will buy some to combat the smelly tourists stinking up the Capitol.

Posted by: SaintGeorgeGentile at March 15, 2011 02:15 PM (S1K5Y)

65 65 What is her stance on fapping?

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at March 15, 2011 02:16 PM (qIHlG)

66 daddy like...

Posted by: talibill at March 15, 2011 02:16 PM (fkiq4)

67 Good,maybe we'll finally find out what a can of whoop-ass smells like.My guess is victory.

Posted by: ziptie at March 15, 2011 02:16 PM (nj7LO)

68 The abcnews.com GE Mk1 design flaw article really had me going, right up until the point where they disclose that the engineer left in '75 to be an anti-nuke activist.

Frak them. Frak them sideways with Cheney's warcock.

I'm getting really sick of the disinformation campaign, it's like being rickrolled these past few days.

My prayers and sympathies are with the folks heading into the breach, and earnest enmity for those who prostitute themselves to the left. *spits*

Posted by: Dipper Actual at March 15, 2011 02:17 PM (6uiF7)

69 Hmm. Santa Monica irradiated. That would be tragic.

Posted by: sifty at March 15, 2011 02:18 PM (jq/yL)

When a woman's nose is next to man, she should faintly smell three things: sawdust, leather and fine tobacco.

As long as I don't smell dinner burning in the oven, I don't care what she's smelling.

Posted by: Ike Turner at March 15, 2011 02:19 PM (MGC3K)

71 The Surgeon General looks like a 12yo who ate a snozzberry.

Posted by: sifty at March 15, 2011 02:20 PM (jq/yL)

72 People have placed bottles of Potassium Iodide tablets on Amazon for hundreds of dollars.

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at March 15, 2011 02:21 PM (qIHlG)

73 It MAY be a six, but the group saying that looks like an activist group. (complete wih ties to Ploughshare Funds/soros if my instant Google is correct)

http://fwd4.me/xfN

Institute for Science and International Security

They can't even access the site by helicopter now?

Posted by: bill at March 15, 2011 02:21 PM (D6qOQ)

74 U.S. Surgeon General Encourages West Coast Residents to Buy Iodide Tablets...

Sudden run on pills...

Posted by: curious at March 15, 2011 06:14 PM (k1rwm)

Heh, my sister is a pharmicist. She called me last night and woke me up telling me she was going to be sending me some. I live in Seattle, we can always use alittle more radiation than we normally get.

Posted by: robtr at March 15, 2011 02:22 PM (MtwBb)

75 Like the Tibetans we need to find the transmigration of George Washington or a really really good fake.

Posted by: humphreyrobot at March 15, 2011 02:23 PM (EiH7n)

76 24

My grandmother is 93 and she lives on her own in a single-unit condo. The condo has an elevator. And this poster is hung in the elevator.

My kids bought that for me & it hags on the inside of my closed door....I love it...lol

Posted by: Say What? at March 15, 2011 02:23 PM (Ie0Es)

House Republicans Holding Emergency Meeting to Defund NPR, Will Bring Bill to Floor on Thursday

Simple rebuttal to NPR defenders re "it was all out of context":

"For how many days now has NPR embargoed the story about Wisconsin Republicans getting death threats?"

Posted by: sherlock at March 15, 2011 02:24 PM (Xq2WY)

78 Surgeon General. There's a federal department we could do away with.

Posted by: nickless at March 15, 2011 02:24 PM (MMC8r)

79 Fresh Mitt scent. That kid got spring all figured out.

Posted by: Pecos Bill at March 15, 2011 02:24 PM (j84s0)

80 Good for the kid. I have great memories associated with these kinds of scents; if he has a website, I might have to order a couple of those Fresh Mitt candles for myself.

Posted by: Rosa E. at March 15, 2011 02:27 PM (8ihif)

81 Fresh Mitt scent.

That kid got spring all figured out.

Posted by: Pecos Bill at March 15, 2011 06:24 PM (j84s0)

He needs to add Spring Diesel.

Posted by: robtr at March 15, 2011 02:28 PM (MtwBb)

82 Other scents if not already made by the kid:
Used motor. Hint of ethyl mercaptan (propane, nat gas, etc.).
Welding flux. Brazing flux. Gasoline. Synthetic oil or grease scent.
Someone already mentioned sawdust.
The smell that comes off a brand new motorcycle's various metal bits when they heat up for the first few times.
And of course diesel. There's an army surplus shop that always smells like diesel inside, it's great.

Posted by: fb at March 15, 2011 02:28 PM (G60Nl)

83 And has anyone else noticed that the Surgeon Generals who lecture us about obesity are usually fatasses?

Posted by: nickless at March 15, 2011 02:29 PM (MMC8r)

84 Used motor oil*

Posted by: fb at March 15, 2011 02:29 PM (G60Nl)

you can see the website written on the cans.

man-cansdotcom

Posted by: Say What? at March 15, 2011 02:30 PM (Ie0Es)

86 You know what scent I want in my candles.

Posted by: Lt. Col. Frank Slade at March 15, 2011 02:31 PM (jq/yL)

87 #85 Sawdust is already a scent for them. I agree on the smell of gasoline

Posted by: CAC at March 15, 2011 02:31 PM (Gr1V1)

88 New leather.

Posted by: fb at March 15, 2011 02:32 PM (G60Nl)

89 I got it damn it. I love love love my brain when it occasionally works. Napalm Scented Candles

Posted by: humphreyrobot at March 15, 2011 02:32 PM (EiH7n)

90 here are his scents: New York Style Pizza: (New) Straight out of the oven. Money to Burn: (New) Use your tax refund to buy a candle. Gear Head: (New) Smells like the auto garage. Cracker Jacks: (New) A prize for your nose in every can. Coffee: Men don't go to coffee houses, men go to ManCans. Bacon: Bacon, Bacon, Bacon, Bacon... I smell Bacon. Bubble Gum: Just like opening the pack of Topps baseball cards. Grandpa's Pipe: A fresh tobacco blend just like grandpa smoked. Sawdust: A light cedar smell. Campfire: This scent brings back old memories of sitting around a campfire roasting marshmallows and bonding with family and friends. A favorite of those who spend lots of time camping. New Mitt: A new fresh leather smell that reminds you of breaking in that new glove. Fresh Cut Grass: This candle gives you the smell of fresh cut grass without all the work. Another top seller. Everyone is looking forward to summer. Flapjacks: (soon to be discontinued) Warm syrupy goodness that fills your nose. Hot Cocoa: (It will be back next winter)

Posted by: Say What? at March 15, 2011 02:32 PM (Ie0Es)

91 Other scents if not already made by the kid:
Used motor. Hint of ethyl mercaptan (propane, nat gas, etc.).
Welding flux. Brazing flux. Gasoline. Synthetic oil or grease scent.
Someone already mentioned sawdust.
The smell that comes off a brand new motorcycle's various metal bits when they heat up for the first few times.
And of course diesel. There's an army surplus shop that always smells like diesel inside, it's great.

Posted by: fb at March 15, 2011 06:28 PM (G60Nl)

Or my favoritist: Burnt gun-powder.

Posted by: Soona at March 15, 2011 02:33 PM (dFw8Z)

New leather.

Rich Corinthian Leather.

Posted by: Ricardo M. at March 15, 2011 02:33 PM (J2ejK)

93 Smoked pulled pork scented candles.

Posted by: sifty at March 15, 2011 02:33 PM (jq/yL)

94 92 +1 ThreadPoints for that.

Posted by: fb at March 15, 2011 02:34 PM (G60Nl)

95 Cosmoline when you unwrap the weapons.....sigh.

Posted by: MissTammy at March 15, 2011 02:36 PM (BebB7)

96 If he comes up with a candle scented like machine shop or auto repair garage, I'll take a case. Hate taking my car to get an oil change but I like the smell of the garage.

69 Good,maybe we'll finally find out what a can of whoop-ass smells like.My guess is victory.

Rawhide and smoke.

Posted by: lauraw at March 15, 2011 02:37 PM (DbybK)

97 Gear Head candles! He did it!
Holy crap, that's so full of win.

Posted by: lauraw at March 15, 2011 02:39 PM (DbybK)

98 Smells Like Bronson: With real bits of Bronson sweat.

$4,000.00

Posted by: sifty at March 15, 2011 02:39 PM (jq/yL)

99 Smoked pulled pork scented candles.

Posted by: sifty at March 15, 2011 06:33 PM (jq/yL)

Now you're talking my language.

Posted by: ErikW at March 15, 2011 02:40 PM (M70T8)

100 OT Japan update
Watching NHK morning news

1. Current problem is #4, which is on fire again (upper area). Cause not sure, maybe H2. Source of H2, not specified. Storage pool temp at 85C and needs water. can not drop by helicopter since this building still has roof. It has holes on side from #3 explosion, so maybe they inject with fire hose, but right now too hot for safety.

2. Evac area is getting desperate. They have no fuel (gasoline or kerosene for heat) and limited food. They are told not to leave buildings, and supplies are not allowed to travel up road to help.

3. Just showed scenes of building used for refuge in case of tsunami. 60 bodies found as building was too low.

4. spoke to family in Japan and there is a lot of fear. I think gov is being very forthright, but Japanese do not know if they can trust. everyone scared to go outside. panic buying across country.

5. I do not hear of cracked containment as mentioned a couple of places in west. think it is error caused by fog of war

6. #2 did have crack in torus (thumper tank for you moonshiners) and that is problem, but not containment vessel.

7. PM spoke yesterday, and i think added to panic. he quoted numbers that were peak, and they have gone down quit ea bit, but no one trusts. Also Tepco reps spoke and one cried on air. Not confidence inspiring.

8. I second FlaviusJulius idea. maybe throw into #1 reactor instead?

Posted by: nine coconuts at March 15, 2011 02:41 PM (DHNp4)

101 Not a good sign: U.S. orders non-emergency personnel, dependents of Fifth Fleet out of Bahrain - NBC News Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at March 15, 2011 06:01 PM (c0A3e) hey shut the fuck up. I gotta pick my final 4

Posted by: Obama at March 15, 2011 02:42 PM (0GFWk)

102 Freshly mimeographed paper. You younger people won't identify.

Posted by: Soona at March 15, 2011 02:43 PM (dFw8Z)

103

Hoppe's #9.

Posted by: gebrauchshund at March 15, 2011 02:43 PM (iYwUw)

104 JB Weld

Posted by: fb at March 15, 2011 02:43 PM (G60Nl)

105 Am i racist because i mute barry and juan williams whenever they speak?

Posted by: nine coconuts at March 15, 2011 02:44 PM (DHNp4)

106 Am i racist because i mute barry and juan williams whenever they speak?

Posted by: nine coconuts at March 15, 2011 06:44 PM (DHNp4)

Why you askin', cracka'?

Posted by: Jesse J at March 15, 2011 02:52 PM (dFw8Z)

107 Any body know a term that identifies a person who discriminates by culture not race.

Posted by: humphreyrobot at March 15, 2011 02:54 PM (EiH7n)

108 111 RACIST! CULTURAL IMPERIALIST! BIGOT! CHAUVINIST!

Kidding. Mark Steyn used the term "culturist." Haven't heard any others.

Posted by: fb at March 15, 2011 02:57 PM (G60Nl)

109 Kidding. Mark Steyn used the term "culturist." Haven't heard any others. Posted by: fb Mr. FB, thanks. That sounds good to me. I don't usually hate or drink beer but when i do i prefer Culturist Larger. Stay beer gutless my friends.

Posted by: humphreyrobot at March 15, 2011 03:10 PM (EiH7n)

110

Check out the info from the Nuclear Energy Institute website re Unit 4 (updated at 5 PM EDT today, and not covering the latest reports of fire):

"Tokyo Electric Power Co. said that an oil leak in a cooling water pump at Unit 4 was the cause of a fire that burned for approximately 140 minutes. The fire was not in the spent fuel pool, as reported by several media outlets. Unit 4 was in a 105-day-long maintenance outage at the time of the earthquake and there is no fuel in the reactor."

No fuel in the reactor is a lot better than fuel IN the reactor, obviously. Also, check out the pdf file on the spent fuel rod facility mentioned at the same site:

http://tinyurl.com/4quxpnx

A helluva mess, for sure, but damage to the spent fuel storage appears to be a lot less worrisome than with the other reactors. For instance, there's no chance of a meltdown of such fuel, which as the name implies, is spent.

p.s. Drudge outght to be shot for his misleading headlines. "Nuclear Snow"?? WTF? Does he not know that it snows in northern Japan in the winter? (the cloud over Mt. Fuji is not that unusual, either: I used to use a similar one as a screen saver a couple of years ago)

Posted by: effinayright at March 15, 2011 03:10 PM (CfQ+e)

111 I love this kid! Thanks for video, I just ordered three for my husband. Father's Day is around the corner, and he'll love the story.

Posted by: JR at March 15, 2011 03:45 PM (yl10H)

112

New manscents on the horizon:

Gym Locker

Dirty Socks

Fromunda

Deeznuts

The possibilities are endless.

Posted by: SFC MAC at March 15, 2011 04:43 PM (KDxa0)

113 A candle scent called "Winning"?

But Charlie Sheen will probably sue the kid too.