1
We live in interesting times...

2
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

3 Can they be real?

4 I'm broke

- Gaia

5

Nothing captures college like that simple phrase:  "a suitcase of Milwaukee's Best."

Well, except for "All this wet beaver and I still can't get laid?  What the fuck?"

6

Was in Harrisburg some months ago.

It was extremely depressing and run down.

The nicest building in the entire city was the capitol building.

 I don't think it even really qualfies as a "city"

7
for every time I woke up with a killer hangover in college and said, "God if you let me live through this, I'll never drink again!"

and for when you're really really hungover, you add: "...for as long I live."

8 I call "dibs" on all the obscene-sounding double entendreS!

9 "...for as long.... IF...I live."

FIFY

10 Well, it is Pennsylvania, it sits astride the Susquehanna River and there is the example set by Johnstown, so they can always hope ...

11 You know the Grim Reaper of Boning is nigh when entrenched government officials resort to prayer to find money. The ACLU will not be amused about this.

12 I've had a hangover since Nov 2008.  Praying hasn't helped.

13

June 21 (Bloomberg) -- Sales of existing U.S. homes decreased in May to the lowest level in six months, a sign that the housing market is lagging other parts of the economy.

 

Oh yeah, the poor housing market is lagging our booming economy. No need to worry comrades because the job market is in such good shape.

 

An unemployment rate hovering around 9 percent and tight credit standards mean it may take years to absorb the 1.8 million distressed properties on the market that are weighing down home values. Persistent weakness in the housing market is one reason why Federal Reserve policy makers are likely to maintain record stimulus when they meet this week.

 

Keep the stimulus because it's worked so well on helping the economy up to this point

14 Lawsuit from the ALCU being filed to.ight?

15
And yet, somehow, Sarah Palin is an idiot?

16

The county that I live in has taken a different tack:  They are handing out DUI's like you wouldn't belive.  They stake out behind bars and hunt in packs figuring that the odds are pretty good at nabbing someone over .08

A friend of mine was pulled over because the officer wanted to remind him that "his registration was due to be renewed the following month". My friend had 3 beers (large) which just put him over the legal limit.  He is so screwed.

It's big revenue for our county.

17
If I was Pennsylvania, I would declare war on New Jersey for their coal embargo.

18

Yeah, and if I had a dime for every time I woke up with a killer hangover in college and said, "God if you let me live through this, I'll never drink again!" I could probably patch that hole in Harrisburg's budget. But once I felt a little better, I'd just put the dime towards a suitcase of Milwaukee's Best.

I imagine pretty much the same thing will happen here.

Beast? Really?

Yeah we need a 12 step spendaholics program for these guys.

19

How come I wasn't called for this gig? I gave the Won a spiritual photo op and all I got was a one night stand (and a lousy T-shirt).

20 6. that sounds like a lot of PA "cities": Reading Coatesville Norristown Chester Allentown Bethlehem there are more I'm not thinking of . . . depressing cess pools, some of which are well-located within dynamic, expensive suburban counties!

21 It still amazes me how much potential economic growth PA was able to miss during the 80s and 90s. Its like our Taco Bell that never gets the order right would use as their marketing slogan "Why do you people keep coming here - don't you get the hint?" PA shares the same problem that NY, MA, MD, DE, and NJ does, they as a state are controlled by one or two large cities. If you are not on the urban gravy train then you are expected to sacrifice for it. This is the mandate from the Ivied elite. At what point do the rubes start shooting back at their betters?

22 Oh yeah, the poor housing market is lagging our booming economy. No need to worry comrades because the job market is in such good shape. The job market is so good people need two or three of them just to keep up.

23 I have the solution! Purchase a cartload of metal detectors, distribute them to the homeless, and offer them 20% of whatever they find ... wait ...

24

Well.... when I was in too much debt, I just had the Templar order disbanded, arrested and tried for heresy.

Are you not in the same situation, just with Bankers?

Just sayin....

25 Yeah, praying won't work.

26
speaking of unemployment...

In the news today in Boston there was some funny news: The recent good employment data in Massachusetts may not be good for everyone. Because the state's UE rate dropped, the extended benefits will be reduced from 20 weeks to 13 weeks.

27

Posted by: Nahavo shaman (available for your next funeral/pep rally) at June 21, 2011 12:33 PM (6rX0K)

I seem to have misspelled my tribe. Sorry folks. Too much Milwaukee's Best.

28 Does this count as a "name that party"?

29 Pray all you want filthy humans! Nothing can save you from your dishwashers!

30 Nahavo shaman

I'm in that tribe
- Chaz Bono

31 Wow, they're just as stupid as Californians. Liberal motto: Spend, spend, spend. Free money for everyone.

32 God helps those who help themselves.
One of my favorites: "Work hard, and you will be a leader; be lazy, and you will end up a slave." -Proverbs 12:24
And there's another one about having to work for your daily bread...but I don't feel like looking it up right now.

33

"the praying and fasting will include a contingent of about a dozen Christian, Jewish and Muslim religious leaders."

---

They got all the bases covered.  What could go wrong?

34 Why doesn't Harrisburg just invest in a bunch of derivatives and cash in on the benefits? Oh, wait...

35 I'm in that tribe
- Chaz Bono

Me too!!

36 From the WH website

" Over the last 15 months weÂ’ve created over 2.1 million private sector jobs. (Laughter.)"

37

Please God.........Buy me a Ferrari!

Oh and if there is anything extra let me retire early....Thanks Much!

38 33

"the praying and fasting will include a contingent of about a dozen Christian, Jewish and Muslim religious leaders."

---

They got all the bases covered.  What could go wrong?

Posted by: Sparkle Plenty at June 21, 2011 12:38 PM (mQMnK)

These electronic components look pretty chintzy if you ask me...

39 Posted by: Extremophilic Fungi of Doom at June 21, 2011 12:37 PM (cv5Iw) Remember my short work "The Fungi from Yuggoth?" Yeah, I was all over that. Even Yog-Sothoth can't save you now.

40 Atheists will probably stage a protest.

41

They got all the bases covered.  What could go wrong?

*ahem*.

42 "God Grant Me Fiscally Responsible Plans and the will to see them through to completion ... but not yet." - Augustine of Punxsatawney.

43

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes-Benz

My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends

Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends

So Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes-Benz

44 "You know the Grim Reaper of Boning is nigh when entrenched government officials resort to prayer to find money. The ACLU will not be amused about this." Not a problem if the city officials are black. Sorry if that sounds racist, but liberals are strangely silent when religious black people express their spirituality.

45 Funny thing about Harrisburg's financial downward spiral:  overspending on a trash incinerator.  Sometimes the jokes just write themselves.

46

there are more I'm not thinking of . . . depressing cess pools, some of which are well-located within dynamic, expensive suburban counties!

Indeed, Harrisburg's suburbs were actually kinda nice. The stores in the suburbs were nice too.

The mall in downdown harrisburg, if you can call it a mall, had like 6-8 stores, some of which I thought went out of business in the 1980s.

Business, like people, are smart. They move just out of the reach of the cities tax burden.

 

 

47 We could help you, but you don't know the secret handshake. Meet us under the Foucault's Pendulum at midnight and we'll work something out.

48 42
Augustine of Punxsatawney.
Posted by: BumperStickerist at June 21, 2011 12:41 PM (h6mPj)

Too funny!

49

"God Grant Me Fiscally Responsible Plans and the will to see them through to completion ... but not yet."

-

Augustine of Punxsatawney

 

Thread winnah!

 

50 42 "God Grant Me Fiscally Responsible Plans and the will to see them through to completion ... but not yet."

-

Augustine of Punxsatawney.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at June 21, 2011 12:41 PM (h6mPj)

I bow to your wit, fellow moron.

51 Harrisburg has the same problems most of the large urban areas have

Their major industries went into decline due to unions, excessive regulation, and high taxation from (below)

The city shifted to a high tax  socialistic form of government to support the "poor" which hastened an already problem of flight.

People who actually worked (the tax base) left the city to escape the crime and high taxes.

The city became firmly entrenched in the hands of Democrat socialists who only compounded all the problems that got them there to begin with.

Praying will not help them. Like Detroit, they are doomed.

52 Augustine of Punxsatawney If he sees his shadow in February, he continues whoring for six more weeks and then converts to beatitude.

53 "The budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed lest Rome become bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance."

54 "there are more I'm not thinking of . . . depressing cess pools, some of which are well-located within dynamic, expensive suburban counties! " Hey, those cities are pikers.

55 Game, set, and match on the drinking analogy.  Perfect.
These folks are seriously embarrassing themselves.  I wonder what the Talmud says about this.

56
There is no God in Debt

57 Why doesn't Harrisburg just invest in a bunch of derivatives and cash in on the benefits? Oh, wait... Posted by: Orange County, CA at June 21, 2011 12:38 PM (AZGON) Do you have to keep throwing that in my face? I said that I was sorry.

58 "In God We Trust" on the money was never more true.

59 Atheists will probably stage a protest.

Posted by: lan sing

 

They haven't got a prayer.

60 Harrisburg is a shithole.  Not sure why.  No business there except state government and the law firms that feed off of it.  A lot of state business groups don't even locate there because they can't get staff to live there.  The city has been broke for years  They should just close it down.

61

1. Pray for money

2. ?

3. Profit!

Worked for me!

62 "In God We Trust" on the money was never more true. I was thinking "In The Printing Press..." but that's just me.

63 Capital of PA.  I heard they were considering filing for BR.

64 They just all need to move to a Texas, vote in democarts, and they could start taxing, regulating, and spending to their hearts content.  (for a few years)

65 So if I view a picture of Harrisburg over the internet, am I going to turn into a pillar of salt?

66

"If all the brightest minds in HarrisburgÂ’s government"

Well, that's your problem right there.

67 The problem with PA as a whole is that as soon as you do well, make something, and get ahead a little in life the state comes along and says, "Nice job but someguy in Philly or Pit needs that profit more than you do. Thanks for spreading the wealth!"
So why bother?

68 Am I the only one that wants to hear more about this trash incinerator that can bankrupt a city and metro area of nearly 1 million people?

Its fire.... that burns..... garbage????  What am I missing?


to quote Arrested Development:
Mom after all these years Gods not going to take your calls

(Of course some of us know he does take calls well after we deserve it but the sentiment that we screw around forever and then assume we can run to him is accurate)

69 Tapped out, brah.  I do have some killer weed though.

70 You know what would fix Harrisburg's money problems.

 High Speed Canals!!11!!

71 I might just stay funemployed. I am starting to feel like those football players in Beetlejuice. "Coach, I don't think we survived that crash".

72 Errr!

I can't find the video of the US town that is ran like a business and carries no debt yet has parks, pools, sidewalks, etc.

Anyone know what video I am talking about?

I posted it about 3 months ago, but now I can't find it.

73 70 Tapped out, brah.  I do have some killer weed though.
Posted by: Aquabuddha at June 21, 2011 12:52 PM (GTbGH)
///
Here in S.F. we don't brag when we have killer weed -- it's all killer, nothing to brag about.

74 Augustine of Punxsatawney

That'd be an awesome sock. Dibs!

75

I can't find the video of the US town that is ran like a business and carries no debt yet has parks, pools, sidewalks, etc.

Anyone know what video I am talking about?

I posted it about 3 months ago, but now I can't find it.

somewhere in Georgia i think,. can't remember the name though

 

Sweetwater or something like that?

76 Harrisburg is a shithole.  I drove through recently and saw a big billboard thanking unions for something.  Pretty much sums up Harrisburg and the situation it's in now.

77 They just all need to move to a Texas, vote in democarts, and they could start taxing, regulating, and spending to their hearts content.  (for a few years)

Yeah some people think of Socialism as a cancer. But the analogy doesn't fit because it's communicable. Just ask our neighbor Nevada. Tuberculosis is a closer fit; a long wasting deteriorating disease that you can give to anyone you cough on that takes horsepill style antibiotics to even try and treat.

78
Harrisburg is where they make Hershey bars, right?

79
i know
i know

80 In his Meditations, Emperor Marcus Aurelius wrote that when you pray (and he prayed to Jupiter, Mars and the guys), don't pray for the gods to solve your problems, pray to get the courage, intelligence, and strength to solve your own problems.  He had that figured out 2000 years ago.  In another 2000 years or so, maybe these guys will figure it out, too.

81

(Of course some of us know he does take calls well after we deserve it but the sentiment that we screw around forever and then assume we can run to him is accurate)

Reminds me of this joke:

This man was asking God some questions and he said "God what is a million years to you"? A million years to you would be 1 second to me! "God what is 1 million dollars to you"? A million dollars to you would would be 1 penny to me! "God ",the man said, "can i have a penny"? God said, in a second!

82 Harrisburg is where they make Hershey bars, right?

Posted by: gainsayer at June 21, 2011 12:54 PM (G/zuv)

 

Technically that's Hershey.  But it's close.

83 The lord made money for a reason.

84 The answer is clear: 

1.  buy Greek bonds @ 30%
2.  ??
3.  Profit!

85 Thanks Ben.

I found it using your added info.

It is Sandy Springs, GA.

They carry no long term liability.

They outsourced everything.

86 Remember my short work "The Fungi from Yuggoth?"

Yeah, I was all over that. Even Yog-Sothoth can't save you now.

Posted by: H. P. Lovecraft at June 21, 2011 12:40 PM (AZGON)

Hey, let's not go eating our own (or at least, not until R'yleh is raised).  Remember Alhazred's eleventh commandment: "ATHLRN MAL FTHAGN!"

87

Who wants to bet that this place has been under a Democratic Party stranglehold for at least the past 30 years?

I bet a Hershey Bar!

Somebody sent me an email the other day pointing out every city that has had a Democrat Mayor for any length of time, and they are all shitholes that already have gone broke or are going broke. It was a list of probably 50 Cities. 

88 When your dad tells you your home state has nothing to offer and to "get out while you can," that's saying something.  BTW, this was 27 years ago...

89 >>But once I felt a little better, I'd just put the dime towards a suitcase of Milwaukee's Best. For me, it was always PBR,s, 16 oz'ers. Done a lot a praying.

90

I live just east of Harrisburg, get all their local stations for news/weather.  I absolutely adore that Mayor, hope they never, ever get rid of her.  The entertainment she provides is indescribable.  Since she took office a couple years ago, she's butted heads with every department head, the city comptroller (who has tried to rein her in on budget matters - talk about a hopeless task), even the city council, which she was a member of until she became Mayor.  That she has resorted to prayer to rescue her surprises me not at all.  More entertainment for me! 

GOD, I love that woman!

91 I always remember having my discussions with g-d as I was thanking him for making the toilet bowl and tile floor cool to the touch and easy to clean up.

92 Commrads, I bring much good news! Your collective work has allowed the state to prosper. As such, your unemployment benefits will be increased from 20 weeks to 13 weeks. What? You would think you would be thanking me. Time to celebrate. Now go get me some of that special beer Ace has hidden in his refrigerator!

93 84-Close in miles but far away in attitude

94

Lets see.... Saint Jude is the Saint of Lost Causes...

Saint Cayento is the Saint for Gamblers...

Ah.... Saint Nicholas... Patron Saint of Money Problems...

Gotta luv the Catholics, got a Saint for everything...

95 Big Sarge-That woman is a hoot

96 For me, it was always PBR,s, 16 oz'ers.

Jesus, man.  Why would you do that to yourself?  You can get AB Natural Ice for just a little more, and at 5.9% abv, it'll get you drunk with less cans.

97 Posted by: Ward Churchill at June 21, 2011 01:15 PM (HwE/1)

Doh!  Sock fail.

98 Sandy Springs, GA is one of those cities that proves the exception on the 30K rule. But boy have they dodged some bullets to get there.

They are a wealthy city and outside the boundaries of Atlanta. Atlanta tried for a long time to annex them and they managed to fight them off every time. To prevent it they tried to incorporate themselves into a city. Of course Atlanta fought that and prevented it for many years.

It took a trip to the GA Supreme Court to get it done.

99 33

"the praying and fasting will include a contingent of about a dozen Christian, Jewish and Muslim religious leaders."

---

They got all the bases covered.  What could go wrong?

Posted by: Sparkle Plenty at June 21, 2011 12:38 PM (mQMnK)

 

I could.

100

Note that the article fails to mention that this particular Mayor is a Democrat (which I found out by looking up Linda Thompson's bio on Wikipedia).  You guys are slipping on that "guess the party" game!

I wonder if the same people who voted for her are against school vouchers because they might "mix church and state."

101 So it's the Democrats who bitterly cling to their bibles? Who knew? Next thing you'll tell me that they are clinging to guns, though from the sounds of things in Harrisburg, that would be a sure sign of mass governmnent employee suicide.

102 Posted by: Navaho shaman (available for your next funeral/pep rally)

Uh, wouldn't that be Navajo?

Shame, man.

103 In short, irresponsible public spending combined with crippling fixed costs and an inability to grow have...

Sounds suspiciously like a problem created by a Democrat.

104

". . .but once I felt a little better, I'd just put that dime towards a suitcase of Milwaukee's Best."

And don't think I didn't notice, pal.  Hope you enjoyed it, 'cause there's no cold beer where you're going. . .

105 110 Joke's on you! I'll drink warm beer for eternity if I have to!

106

Just got another message from a leftard Facebook "friend" that advocates the forcible removal of "small government" conservatives to Somalia. Again. They are like a friggin' broken record.

Then she complained that I was being unfair when I asked why she and her cohorts don't ever pack up and move to North Korea, being a socialist utopia. Maybe I should tell her to move to Harrisburg.

 

107 Yup, my home state.

108 Well, it is Pennsylvania, it sits astride the Susquehanna River and there is the example set by Johnstown, so they can always hope ...

Most of Harrisburg is on the east side and fairly high up.  The Susquehanna is very wide and shallow there also.  The BS is deep enough but not the water.

109 The Twelve Steps of  Taxaholics Anonymous

1. We admitted we were powerless over budgets and public spending—that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of  God as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves, our bureaucracies, and our public employee unions.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to the taxpayers the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make refunds to them all.

9. Made direct refunds to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure the public budget.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to taxaholics, spendaholics, unions, and Democrats and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

110 Are you interested in Soccer? Right, you really like playing football. Plus, Soccer is just getting to be a worldwide popular sport nowadays. As fans of Soccer, you should get fully prepared at first. For example, you would better prepare a suitable pair of soccer cleats , a set of soccer jerseys or whatever. Otherwise, you will not enjoy an exciting football match. Anyway, it is necessary and essential to prepare for the football match in a good way.(yang)