Ace of Spades HQ

March 07, 2011

Charlie Sheen: Winning, If By Winning You Mean Fired
— Ace

Trolls 1, Vatican Assassin Warlocks 0.

"After careful consideration, Warner Bros. Television has terminated Charlie SheenÂ’s services on Two and a Half Men effective immediately."

I expect an equally terse statement from Charlie Sheen.

In related news, Will Arnett needs work.

I read in a NYT article that Sheen had kept out any morality clause from his contract. Well-played, man. So presumably, while he may be fired, he's also still under contract, at least unless the show ends, right?

Old Wish: That Charlie Sheen's next venture would be trainwreck reality TV

New Fear: That Charlie Sheen's next venture will be porn

Sheen Already Responded:

"This is very good news. They continue to be in breach, like so many whales. It is a big day of gladness at the Sober Valley Lodge because now I can take all of the bazillions, never have to look at whatshiscock again and I never have to put on those silly shirts for as long as this warlock exists in the terrestrial dimension."

Which is about three months according to my bid in the Dead Pool.

Okay, well I expect that that will be the reserved Mr. Sheen's last statement on the matter.

Posted by: Ace at 01:24 PM | Comments (219)
Post contains 220 words, total size 1 kb.

1 If Will Arnett played another uncle except as the creepy gay guy he played on 30 Rock... Nah, I don't think that would work.

Posted by: blaster at March 07, 2011 01:26 PM (Fw2Gg)

2 Duh, Losing.

Posted by: Marie at March 07, 2011 01:26 PM (GuTKr)

3 I'd take the gig for union scale. I am sober and available.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 07, 2011 01:26 PM (yQWNf)

4 James Spader HAS to be available, right? or Andrew McCarthy. (no, the other one)

Posted by: BlackOrchid at March 07, 2011 01:27 PM (SB0V2)

5 In related news, Will Arnett needs work.

Did Fox cancel the sitcom he and Felicity were on?

Posted by: Waterhouse at March 07, 2011 01:27 PM (4mkxL)

6 Spader would be awesome - he could be Steff.

Posted by: blaster at March 07, 2011 01:27 PM (Fw2Gg)

7 Actually rather surprised. The ad revenue/ratings from any return episode would have been staggering. Oh well. On to trivial shit like the continued dismantling of America from within and without by the commie in chief and his merry pranksters.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at March 07, 2011 01:28 PM (UlUS4)

8 Winning, If By Winning You Mean Fired

We are the winners.

Posted by: Television Viewers at March 07, 2011 01:28 PM (GTbGH)

9 Kill off Charlie, Alan and Jake and have Berta inherit the beach house sharing it with the mother.

Posted by: andycanuck at March 07, 2011 01:28 PM (7H/n0)

10 3 I'd take the gig for union scale. I am sober and available.

You are so overqualified!

Posted by: NC Ref at March 07, 2011 01:28 PM (/izg2)

11 Gary Busey has been suggested as a replacement. I'd watch it if he joined the cast.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at March 07, 2011 01:28 PM (CTd2k)

12 Winning~!

Posted by: Chuck Lorre at March 07, 2011 01:29 PM (CTd2k)

13 Just replace him with a honey badger. Show reboot includes backstory of Charlie transformed through a spell cast by a character from Twilight.

Posted by: George Orwell at March 07, 2011 01:29 PM (AZGON)

14 Judd Nelson or Anthony Michael Hall, the neo-maxi-zoom-dweebie.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at March 07, 2011 01:29 PM (UlUS4)

15 Maybe Sheen can do a show with Corey Haim and it would be "1 1/2 Corpses."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at March 07, 2011 01:30 PM (UlUS4)

Okay.

So does that mean we can quit talking about him now?

Posted by: laceyunderalls at March 07, 2011 01:30 PM (pLTLS)

17 I see John Stamos as the replacement playing the character friend of Charlie Harper who has moved to Tahiti with some whore and is allowing this character to stay in his house while he's gone.

Posted by: polynikes at March 07, 2011 01:30 PM (yKP4s)

18 He already did release a statement -

Now Sheen seems determined to take the legal fight to the next level. In his vintage colorful style of bizarre imagery, he reacted to the firing with a statement to TMZ: "This is very good news. They continue to be in breach, like so many whales. It is a big day of gladness at the Sober Valley Lodge because now I can take all of the bazillions, never have to look at whatshiscock again and I never have to put on those silly shirts for as long as this warlock exists in the terrestrial dimension."

Posted by: booger at March 07, 2011 01:30 PM (9RFH1)

19 Charlie may be well on his way to an OJ style exit.

Posted by: Marie at March 07, 2011 01:30 PM (GuTKr)

20 An aside - yum, Patty Ann Browne.

Posted by: blaster at March 07, 2011 01:31 PM (Fw2Gg)

21 You'll need about 20 more Sheen posts to push the "It's Something" debacle off the front. Gonna be a long night, pal.

Posted by: someguy at March 07, 2011 01:31 PM (YiDNR)

22 Breached whales???

Posted by: andycanuck at March 07, 2011 01:31 PM (7H/n0)

23 It's hilarious CBS felt the need to publicly fire him after having already pulled the plug. And next week? "Charlie Sheen is so fired." After that, the worst: "Mr. Sheen will not be allowed to attend the office party."

Posted by: rdbrewer at March 07, 2011 01:31 PM (EMuWJ)

24 I never have to put on those silly shirts for as long as this warlock exists in the terrestrial dimension

So, about five months then.

Posted by: Waterhouse at March 07, 2011 01:32 PM (4mkxL)

"Maybe Sheen can do a show with Corey Haim and it would be "1 1/2 Corpses."

I know its early, but this could be the thread winner.

Posted by: Marie at March 07, 2011 01:32 PM (GuTKr)

26 So presumably, while he may be fired, he's also still under contract, at least unless the show ends, right? I assume that's how it would work -- if he didn't violate his contract, they have to pay out his contract. Which could amount to serious coin if he already signed for 24 episodes (or whatever) at $2M per. I guess it depends on whether they have some "causes material damage to the show" clause they can stick him with, but I doubt it; his shenanigans have, if anything, raised the profile of the show significantly and guaranteed blockbuster ratings for any new episodes.

Posted by: Monty at March 07, 2011 01:32 PM (4Pleu)

27 >>>Did Fox cancel the sitcom he and Felicity were on? yes, canceled. I'm a fan of his but the show was lame. Mitch Hurwitz was the producer but it just wasn't good.

Posted by: ace at March 07, 2011 01:32 PM (nj1bB)

28 "This is very good news. They continue to be in breach, like so many whales."

Heh.

Posted by: rdbrewer at March 07, 2011 01:33 PM (EMuWJ)

29 Now he's freed up to do all that charity work in Haiti !
`Cause we all know Charlie is a giver and would never do something like that for publicity....

Posted by: AmericanDawg at March 07, 2011 01:33 PM (KrhEJ)

30 Maybe Sheen can do a show with Corey Haim and it would be "1 1/2 Corpses."

I've been pushing for Khadafy + Sheen + Jon Hamm in "2 1/2 Mad Men."

Posted by: Nicholas Kronos at March 07, 2011 01:33 PM (KktlX)

31
holy shit the Warlock's spell worked!

Posted by: Soothsayer, Republican Whip at March 07, 2011 01:33 PM (uFokq)

32 Is William Conrad still alive? I wouldn't mind a remake of Cannon.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 07, 2011 01:33 PM (yQWNf)

33 He has seriously become Henry Rollins.

Posted by: © Sponge at March 07, 2011 01:33 PM (UK9cE)

34 Charlie Sheen is really, really fired now.

Posted by: CBS at March 07, 2011 01:34 PM (EMuWJ)

35 I hope they return with a new actor and an explanation on par with Pooochie's death.

Posted by: tachyonshuggy at March 07, 2011 01:34 PM (t+tqr)

36 "17 I see John Stamos as the replacement playing the character friend of Charlie Harper who has moved to Tahiti with some whore and is allowing this character to stay in his house while he's gone." Sounds like the sort of desperate ploy a network would try. Bet you are close to what will happen if the show returns.

Posted by: George Orwell at March 07, 2011 01:34 PM (AZGON)

37 If they let Adam Baldwin on the show I would watch.

If he played his "Animal Mother" character from Full Metal Jacket. And every show consisted of him beating everyone else in the show above age 15 with a lead pipe and then smoking a cigar filled with toasted bits of Michael Moore.

Posted by: sifty at March 07, 2011 01:35 PM (u4JjU)

38 The part of Charlie Harper is now being played by Edward James Olmos.

Posted by: voiceover at March 07, 2011 01:35 PM (GTbGH)

39 Empty the strategic oil reserve, and don't drill for new oil. Then wonder why we get wiped out. In other news Charlie Sheen.............did something I forget.

Posted by: kansas at March 07, 2011 01:35 PM (mka2b)

40 Who the hell thought he still had a job? A million people just went "How can they fire a guy who doesn't have a job there?"

Posted by: rdbrewer at March 07, 2011 01:35 PM (EMuWJ)

41 Ace: "Old Wish: That Charlie Sheen's next venture would be trainwreck reality TV"

I'm working on it as fast as I can. Don't give up hope yet!

Posted by: Mark Cuban at March 07, 2011 01:36 PM (swuwV)

42 My money is on cousin Oliver.

Posted by: Lincolntf at March 07, 2011 01:36 PM (xMT+4)

43 Charlie Sheen is so fired, he's officially shunned.

Posted by: CBS at March 07, 2011 01:36 PM (EMuWJ)

44 You ever notice that in none of the interviews or news reports that they mention he is a Truther and that he was nuts long before this latest fiasco.

Posted by: polynikes at March 07, 2011 01:36 PM (yKP4s)

45 And don't come back.

Posted by: CBS at March 07, 2011 01:36 PM (EMuWJ)

46
It's so obvious who Charlie's replacement should be: Michael J Fox Dick Sergeant Ted McGinley.

Posted by: Soothsayer, Republican Whip at March 07, 2011 01:37 PM (uFokq)

47 Glenn Beck might be looking for a new gig...

Posted by: sifty at March 07, 2011 01:37 PM (u4JjU)

48 The part of Charlie Harper is now being played by Edward James Olmos.

Posted by: voiceover at March 07, 2011 05:35 PM (GTbGH)

Which Edward James? The goofy teacher guy from that movie about ghetto students learning math or something, or the kick ass cool captain in Miami Vice?

Posted by: © Sponge at March 07, 2011 01:37 PM (UK9cE)

49 Might as well hire Ted McGinley for four shows then pack it in.

Posted by: lowandslow at March 07, 2011 01:38 PM (rplS1)

50 Is Raven Symone available?

Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 07, 2011 01:39 PM (yQWNf)

51 I wonder if Charlie Sheen belongs to a union.... SAG, right?

Posted by: MJ at March 07, 2011 01:39 PM (BKOsZ)

52 I think CBS has recently been setting up Allen to be the new Charlie character. They've had him doing a split personality (good Allen vs Bad Allen) thing recently. So Allen inherits Charlies money, Herb gets kicked to the curb by what's her name moving in to be the replacement doormat character for Allen.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at March 07, 2011 01:39 PM (tf9Ne)

53 The part of Charlie Sheen's forgettable character on our forgettable excremental show will now be played by that one dude from Scrubs.

Posted by: CBS Superserial Annoucement, Huzzah! at March 07, 2011 01:40 PM (u4JjU)

54 And now, the CBS Evening News with Charlie Sheen.

Don't laugh. It could happen.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 07, 2011 01:40 PM (7utQ2)

55
If My Three Sons can replace Uncle Charley...

Posted by: Soothsayer, Republican Whip at March 07, 2011 01:40 PM (uFokq)

56 Sheen is far better at being a lefty sock puppet than any of us morons.

Posted by: Can you get Trichinosis from undercooked Orrin Hatch? at March 07, 2011 01:40 PM (F/4zf)

57
BJ Hunnicut is available.

Posted by: Soothsayer, Republican Whip at March 07, 2011 01:40 PM (uFokq)

How bout Drama!

ha that would be funny. They could tie the two shows in together. Do thay still make Entourage?

Being in Charlie Sheen's entourage must be like being assistant crack whore.

Posted by: eleven at March 07, 2011 01:40 PM (7DB+a)

59 Ace: Warner Brothers claim they can fire him for moral turpitude and they did.

Posted by: WINNING! at March 07, 2011 01:40 PM (nEa/y)

60 36 I hope they return with a new actor and an explanation on par with Pooochie's death.

Your wish is the intertubes command

Posted by: booger at March 07, 2011 01:40 PM (9RFH1)

61 If they let Adam Baldwin on the show I would watch. No way! He's got a great gig already as "Casey" in the show Chuck -- a Reagan-loving hard-ass assassin with no patience for lefty BS. Without him, that show wouldn't be worth watching.

Posted by: Monty at March 07, 2011 01:41 PM (4Pleu)

62 Boy, its really going to be hard finding an uber-douche to replace Charlie Sheen. Especially in Hollywood.

Posted by: MJ at March 07, 2011 01:41 PM (BKOsZ)

63 Who is "whatshiscock?"

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at March 07, 2011 01:42 PM (RZ8pf)

64 Which Edward James? The one who played Gaff in Blade Runner, or Adama from the Battlestar Galactica reboot.

Posted by: Monty at March 07, 2011 01:42 PM (4Pleu)

65 I'll take Jim J. Bullock for the block please.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 07, 2011 01:43 PM (yQWNf)

66 Reboot: Charlie disappears on a drunken bender at a Tijuana donkey show, and Alan goes undercover to find him joined by William Conrad as a detective coming out of retirement, Frank Cannon. Special guest star: Sarah Jessica Parker as the burro.

Posted by: George Orwell at March 07, 2011 01:43 PM (AZGON)

67 They needed to consider it "careful[ly]"?

Posted by: FederalReserveParamus at March 07, 2011 01:43 PM (cdCC7)

68 Who is "whatshiscock?"

It depends, are we in the Sheen universe or the AOSHQ universe?

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 07, 2011 01:43 PM (7utQ2)

69 Has Obama weighed in on who should replace Charlie Sheen? "I haven't been keeping up on this, but let me suggest Steve Erkel."

Posted by: MJ at March 07, 2011 01:44 PM (BKOsZ)

70 >>>Ace: Warner Brothers claim they can fire him for moral turpitude and they did. Is the claim that's an implied provision in every contract?

Posted by: ace at March 07, 2011 01:44 PM (nj1bB)

71 Or the Calkoolus teachers who gets pincushioned in prison.

Posted by: eleven at March 07, 2011 01:44 PM (7DB+a)

72 William Conrad as a detective coming out of retirement, Frank Cannon. Special guest star: Sarah Jessica Parker as the burro.

Tonight's episode: "Mrs. Ed"

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 07, 2011 01:44 PM (7utQ2)

73
if Al Molinaro can replace Arnold...

Posted by: Soothsayer, Republican Whip at March 07, 2011 01:45 PM (uFokq)

74 Crikey!

Posted by: zombie steve irwin at March 07, 2011 01:45 PM (GTbGH)

75 Has his costar made any statements? John Cryer?

Posted by: mare at March 07, 2011 01:45 PM (A98Xu)

76 Here, if CBS has a milkshake, and Sheen has a milkshake, and Sheen has a straw. There it is, that's a straw, you see? You watching? And Sheen's straw reaches acrooooossss the room, and starts to drink CBS's milkshake...Sheen drinks CBS's milkshake! He drinks it up!!

Posted by: railwriter at March 07, 2011 01:45 PM (daRzV)

77 Who can come up with the best six degrees to Kevin Bacon with Sheen?

Posted by: polynikes at March 07, 2011 01:45 PM (yKP4s)

78 Winning, If By Winning You Mean Fired

Cue up Paul Shanklin's "Obama touts the joys of funemployment" bit.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at March 07, 2011 01:46 PM (nAOMZ)

"I read in a NYT article that Sheen had kept out any morality clause from his contract. Well-played, man. So presumably, while he may be fired, he's also still under contract, at least unless the show ends, right?"

He may have kept a morality clause out of his contract, but he very likely has a non-defamation clause that makes criticizing his employer or bringing them into disrepute through his actions or speech a firing offense.

Do as many hookers and as much blow as you want, and the producers won't bat an eye. Start calling the showrunner "a stupid, stupid little man and a pussy punk" and making fun of his Hebrew name, and the producers will find that your behavior has crossed the line and is incompatible with your continued employment... because you made it personal.

Posted by: stuiec at March 07, 2011 01:46 PM (Di3Im)

80 Who is "whatshiscock?"

Hey Lover girl, looking for me?

Posted by: Whatshiscock at March 07, 2011 01:46 PM (qqrPQ)

Time for Charlie to check out. Hurry please, your like the neighbors rooster, I'm fucking sick of hearing your poultry ass.

Posted by: maddogg at March 07, 2011 01:46 PM (OlN4e)

82 If they don't replace him and just bring back the show retitled as 'Two Men,' I will laugh my fucking ass off.

Posted by: nickless at March 07, 2011 01:46 PM (MMC8r)

83 Here, if CBS has a milkshake, and Sheen has a milkshake, and Sheen has a straw. There it is, that's a straw, you see? You watching? And Sheen's straw reaches acrooooossss the room, and starts to drink CBS's milkshake...Sheen drinks CBS's milkshake! He drinks it up!!

I call dibs on him being beaten to death with a bowling ball.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 07, 2011 01:47 PM (7utQ2)

84
re: the milkshake scene above

That's when I knew I was watching a stupid movie. I wasn't sure until that scene; then I was sure.

Posted by: Soothsayer, Republican Whip at March 07, 2011 01:47 PM (uFokq)

85 Rachel Maddow looks like Charlie Sheen- only with more facial hair. She could replace Sheen as Crazy Uncle Les.

Posted by: naturalfake at March 07, 2011 01:48 PM (+kzvp)

Crazy? Or crazy like a fox? This whole thing is starting to sound rope-a-dopish to me. Especially with no morality clause. Which he knew.

Whats better than being paid 2.5 mil per episode? Getting paid 2.5 mil per not doing an episode. And free publicity.

Winning.

Posted by: JollyRoger at March 07, 2011 01:48 PM (NCw5u)

87
Do you know when I knew No Country For Old Men was a stupid movie?

When that idiot was being chased by the swimming dogs in the river.

Posted by: Soothsayer, Republican Whip at March 07, 2011 01:48 PM (uFokq)

88 I suppose this means Senator Charlie Sheen, Minnesota (D) is inevitable.

Posted by: Bobbit at March 07, 2011 01:48 PM (tJjm/)

89 Bacon and Penn were in some pedophile revenge movie, Sheen and Penn going to Haiti to deliver some Bacon. To little boys.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at March 07, 2011 01:48 PM (qqrPQ)

They should bring back that super-dumb redhead cheesecake who married Alan. No reason.

boobs

Posted by: Lincolntf at March 07, 2011 01:48 PM (xMT+4)

91 "... your behavior has crossed the line and is incompatible with your continued employment... because you made it personal." So I guess he shouldn't go for any Italian dinners in Brooklyn, yes?

Posted by: Sterling Hayden at March 07, 2011 01:48 PM (AZGON)

92 "Is the claim that's an implied provision in every contract? Posted by: ace " I dunno. It's in the Warner Bros. letter firing him. WB fired him - CBS did not.

Posted by: WINNING! at March 07, 2011 01:48 PM (nEa/y)

93 Isn't the 1/2 man now shaving? It was maybe funny 10 years ago. No one wants to see the 1/2 man shaving or getting acne.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 07, 2011 01:49 PM (yQWNf)

94 That's when I knew I was watching a stupid movie. I wasn't sure until that scene; then I was sure.

That's like 30 seconds from the end of the movie.

Crikey!

Posted by: zombie steve irwin at March 07, 2011 01:49 PM (GTbGH)

Bring back Puck!

Posted by: Schwalbe : The © at March 07, 2011 01:49 PM (UU0OF)

96 What, the writers getting overtime pay today or somthing?? Or just going for a new Olympic record ?

Posted by: melvin at March 07, 2011 01:49 PM (3OCZw)

97 I'll never top Soothsayer, but If Shemp can replace Curly....

Posted by: USS Diversity at March 07, 2011 01:50 PM (gJNMj)

98
nah, the milkshake scene was when his son was still a boy

Posted by: Soothsayer, Republican Whip at March 07, 2011 01:50 PM (uFokq)

99 Do you know when I knew Deepthroat was a stupid movie? When I found out that Linda Lovelace had a clit in her throat.

Posted by: railwriter at March 07, 2011 01:51 PM (daRzV)

100

Okay I have to admit, I like his statement.

whatshiscock.

I'm going to have to remember that.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at March 07, 2011 01:51 PM (pLTLS)

101
You know when I knew that The Road was going to be a depressing movie? When I pressed play.

Posted by: toby928™ at March 07, 2011 01:51 PM (GTbGH)

102 Ace: There is a clause in his WB's contract. Go read TMZ.

Posted by: WINNING! at March 07, 2011 01:51 PM (nEa/y)

103 Yeah, if only every single movie could be a CGI spectacle. Who needs character or story anymore?

Posted by: eleven at March 07, 2011 01:51 PM (7DB+a)

104 I'm sure the one thing keeping him going is knowing that the love of a porn star will continue once the money is gone.

Posted by: nickless at March 07, 2011 01:53 PM (MMC8r)

105 Who needs character or story anymore?

Obviously not 52% of the electorate.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 07, 2011 01:53 PM (7utQ2)

106 I drink your milkshake. I drink it up.

Posted by: China, drilling in the Gulf of Mexico at March 07, 2011 01:53 PM (qqrPQ)

107 Reboot: Charlie dies in a horrible S&M sex accident but returns as Alan's Volvo, guiding him through the perils of single parenthood. My Brother The Car!

Posted by: George Orwell at March 07, 2011 01:54 PM (AZGON)

108 My Milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

Posted by: Kelis at March 07, 2011 01:54 PM (yQWNf)

109
You know how I knew Debbie Does Dallas was a great film?

When that dude with the afro said, "Don't choke, baby. Stay alive. Stay alive!"

Posted by: Soothsayer, Republican Whip at March 07, 2011 01:55 PM (uFokq)

110 Long Duck Dong redux?

Posted by: Lincolntf at March 07, 2011 01:55 PM (xMT+4)

111 Charlie Sheen was in Ferris Bueller with Jennifer Grey Jennifer Grey was in Dirty Dancing with Patrick Swayze Patrick was in The Outsiders with Matt Dillon Matt Dillon was in Wild Things with KEVIN BACON

Posted by: BlackOrchid at March 07, 2011 01:55 PM (SB0V2)

112 Put your rain gear on folks, this pissin' match could have some wide scale collateral damage.

Posted by: ontherocks at March 07, 2011 01:55 PM (HBqDo)

113

Mmm, now I want a milkshake. And I had a Frosty just yesterday.

Y'all are bad influences.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at March 07, 2011 01:56 PM (pLTLS)

114 Complete linkwhoring from a pest but you should've seen Anthony Cumia (of Opie and anthony) do an MST3k style livecast of Sheen's Korner last saturday. Wayy better than sheen's 90s zoo crew waddley-doodle cast.

http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/13119325 (full show)
http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/13119325/highlight/155563 (Anthony doing a new character, Charlie Dice Sheen)

Posted by: jules at March 07, 2011 01:57 PM (WPMbT)

115 I'll never top Soothsayer, but If Shemp can replace Curly....

Posted by: USS Diversity at March 07, 2011 05:50 PM (gJNMj)

If Curly Joe can replace Shemp.....

Posted by: © Sponge at March 07, 2011 01:57 PM (UK9cE)

116 You think Sheen is bad? I heard Terri Hatcher is proposing an un-appropriations committee.

Posted by: Emily Latilla at March 07, 2011 01:57 PM (qqrPQ)

117 I drink your milkshake. I drink it up.

I crush you little head! I crush it!

Posted by: That Weird Guy from Kids in the Hall at March 07, 2011 01:58 PM (PMGbu)

118 Who needs character or story anymore?

Obviously not 52% of the electorate.

Oh, they ate his story up. Teenage mother, immigrant[sic] father, Pock-ee-stahn on unrevealed passport, Ivy League affirmative action, "low-paying" job (it wasn't) fighting The Man...

Posted by: HeatherRadish at March 07, 2011 01:58 PM (nAOMZ)

119 Y'all are bad influences.

It's in the site bylaws.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 07, 2011 01:58 PM (7utQ2)

120 If Curly Joe can replace Shemp.....

Posted by: Â© Sponge at March 07, 2011 05:57 PM (UK9cE)

Or if Dick York could replace Dick Sargent as essentially the SAME Darren!

Posted by: Truck Monkey at March 07, 2011 01:59 PM (yQWNf)

121 You think Sheen is bad? I heard Terri Hatcher is proposing an un-appropriations committee.

Bunk.

Posted by: nickless at March 07, 2011 02:00 PM (MMC8r)

122

So does that mean we can quit talking about him now?

Posted by: laceyunderalls at March 07, 2011 05:30 PM (pLTLS)

*smile* not yet........... still alot of crazy left in him to stop now.....

Posted by: Racefan at March 07, 2011 02:00 PM (ZSjk+)

123 You know how I knew "Return of the Jedi" was a stupid movie? No Leia-Jabba money-shot.

Posted by: railwriter at March 07, 2011 02:01 PM (daRzV)

124 If George Lazenby can replace Sean Connery.....

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 07, 2011 02:01 PM (7utQ2)

125 Whoa, Bret Bair coming live from Afganistan, with a bunch of muzzies in the background staring at him.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at March 07, 2011 02:02 PM (qqrPQ)

126 You know how I knew "Return of the Jedi" was a stupid movie?

No Leia-Jabba money-shot.

Uh, tail-slapping? Obvious autoasphyxiation reference.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 07, 2011 02:02 PM (7utQ2)

127 Breached whales???

Yes it is correct usage. Like breached submarine it means that it has broken the ocean surface and you can see the top of the beast or boat.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at March 07, 2011 02:02 PM (0q2P7)

128 Breaking News!!! Charlie Sheen Found Naked Male Prostitute!!

Posted by: JiggyMaleNurse at March 07, 2011 02:02 PM (xW/nO)

129 Bad Karma.

Posted by: Jigme Norbu at March 07, 2011 02:03 PM (FnIuw)

130 Now he's trying to cash in on Twitter.

Charlie Sheen gets first Twitter sponsor (internships.com), advertises for social media intern - wsj.com http://on.wsj.com/glDDkT

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at March 07, 2011 02:03 PM (c0A3e)

131 No Leia-Jabba money-shot.

Posted by: railwriter at March 07, 2011 06:01 PM (daRzV)

How do you know? Have you ever SEEN a Hutt ejaculate? For that matter, do you even know if the Hutt CAN ejaculate?

For all you know, Jabba was banging Leia Hutt-style all the while he was talking to Luke.

Posted by: stuiec at March 07, 2011 02:04 PM (Di3Im)

132 114 you disappoint me as a moron. You could have skipped step one because Sheen was in what movie with Swayze? Dont make me take away your moron card.

Posted by: polynikes at March 07, 2011 02:04 PM (yKP4s)

133 "Jake, for God's sake, put on a mask"

"I have a message. Womanizing drunk, Charlie Harper's plane...was shot down over the Sea of Japan. It spun in. There were no survivors."

Posted by: AmishDude at March 07, 2011 02:05 PM (T0NGe)

134 Another job lost under Obama's stewardship. Heck of a job Mr. President!

Posted by: kefka at March 07, 2011 02:05 PM (UwqBE)

135 Ace: Warner Brothers claim they can fire him for moral turpitude and they did.

Posted by: WINNING! at March 07, 2011 05:40 PM (nEa/y)

I'm so glad that Hollywood is sticking with their moral high ground.

Posted by: Soona at March 07, 2011 02:05 PM (gZqDI)

136

Is Emelio Estevez available?

And anyways, with Sheen gone, the show still qualifies as 2 and a half men. That kid stopped being a "half" long ago.

Posted by: buzzion at March 07, 2011 02:05 PM (oVQFe)

137 Let me know when he starts reciting the Koran backwards.

Posted by: nickless at March 07, 2011 02:06 PM (MMC8r)

138 Hmmm...he shouldn't be dissing the shirts...doesn't he endorse/have a licensing agreement? Not too smart.

Posted by: kjl291 at March 07, 2011 02:06 PM (3tv4X)

139 You could have skipped step one because Sheen was in what movie with Swayze? Dont make me take away your moron card.

Agreed. That is a banishment outside the walls offense.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 07, 2011 02:06 PM (7utQ2)

140 136. Oh noes! were they both in Roadhouse or something? remember I am a GirlMoron hey give me a break, four degrees and I didn't even google

Posted by: BlackOrchid at March 07, 2011 02:07 PM (SB0V2)

141 I'm long Sheen. I know he looks glassy-eyed and wan, but I think the man is just starting to tap the crazy. Dead pool? I don't think so, not for awhile. Sheen on, you crazy diamond. BTW, did anyone get a "unleashed Scientologist" vibe off his babble? It's like he got all the auditing, but through an Esperanto interpreter or something.

Posted by: railwriter at March 07, 2011 02:07 PM (daRzV)

142 If Barney Martin can replace Phil Bruns...

Posted by: USS Diversity at March 07, 2011 02:07 PM (gJNMj)

143 His web cast yesterday was almost up to SNL skit standards.

Posted by: profligatewaste at March 07, 2011 02:07 PM (b3rrc)

144 142 Hmmm...he shouldn't be dissing the shirts...doesn't he endorse/have a licensing agreement? Not too smart.

Posted by: kjl291 at March 07, 2011 06:06 PM (3tv4X)

Yeah - lay off the shirts!

Posted by: The Bowler at March 07, 2011 02:08 PM (3tv4X)

145 80 Who can come up with the best six degrees to Kevin Bacon with Sheen?

Sheen/ Sutherland - Young Guns
Sutherland/ Bacon - Few Good Men

Posted by: lowandslow at March 07, 2011 02:08 PM (rplS1)

146 >>For all you know, Jabba was banging Leia Hutt-style all the while he was talking to Luke.<< I know the "O" face. The "O" face is a friend of mine. And that, stuic, was no "O" face!

Posted by: railwriter at March 07, 2011 02:08 PM (daRzV)

147 145. I agree RailWriter, he's not dying at all. Unless he goes Leon Bias he's fine. he looks drawn when his teeth (they're false) aren't put in properly (or at all). I am totally long on him in the dead pool unless he offs himself but he doesn't seem like the type

Posted by: BlackOrchid at March 07, 2011 02:09 PM (SB0V2)

148

Do none of you Morons remember the TV show Valerie?

NBC creates a TV show for Valerie Harper and calls it Valerie, all about a mom named Valerie raising her cute kids (including a teenage Jason Bateman) almost single-handedly due to her husband's career as an airline pilot.

The show does great. Valerie Harper asks for more money per episode. The producers balk. She threatens to walk off the show until she gets her quote.

The producers order the writers to kill off Valerie.

The show comes back from summer reruns with a somber funeral episode. Oh, and a new title: The Hogan Family. Oh, and a new female star: Sandy Duncan comes aboard as Valerie's sister-in-law who volunteers to move in and help her brother raise his kids.

The retooled show does even better than Valerie.

No star in Hollywood is irreplaceable if he or she crosses the producers.

Posted by: stuiec at March 07, 2011 02:10 PM (Di3Im)

149 Sheens get shirts.

And that's just the way it is.

Posted by: Paul F'ing Anka at March 07, 2011 02:10 PM (MMC8r)

150 149. ooh see that was good! two degrees! lowandslow must have the win here

Posted by: BlackOrchid at March 07, 2011 02:10 PM (SB0V2)

151 I know the "O" face. The "O" face is a friend of mine. And that, stuic, was no "O" face!

Posted by: railwriter at March 07, 2011 06:08 PM (daRzV)

I bow to your greater knowledge of the subject. Of the two of us, I am perfectly willing to stipulate that you have more experience having sex with Hutt than I do.

Posted by: stuiec at March 07, 2011 02:11 PM (Di3Im)

152

I read in a NYT article that Sheen had kept out any morality clause from his contract. Well-played, man.

Jedi Mind Trick.
Just don't go Annikin on us, Charlie.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at March 07, 2011 02:12 PM (QMtmy)

153 Just have his character go to jail. Take funny phone calls from him. Refer to his character constantly...as 'Bitch.'

It's gold, Jerry! GOLD!

Posted by: nickless at March 07, 2011 02:12 PM (MMC8r)

154 ...and if they do find him dead from an overdose, the scene in his room is gonna be, as the kids say, off the mu-fukken hook. Prostate dildo, Triumph of the Will on a loop, painted toenails, monkeys in diapers, the works. But suicide? Nope. He has his hate to keep him warm.

Posted by: railwriter at March 07, 2011 02:13 PM (daRzV)

155 Win for lowandslow. Though I know Kevin Bacon would have been in Red Dawn if they would have let him.

Posted by: polynikes at March 07, 2011 02:13 PM (yKP4s)

156 I am totally long on him in the dead pool unless he offs himself but he doesn't seem like the type

Posted by: BlackOrchid at March 07, 2011 06:09 PM (SB0V2)

He won't until the money runs out. And by the way he's spending it.......I'll give him a month.

Posted by: Soona at March 07, 2011 02:15 PM (gZqDI)

157

You know who this helps?

Mitt Romney.

Hookers and Blow dealers, not so much.

Posted by: Hugh Hewitt at March 07, 2011 02:15 PM (8V6RC)

158 He has seriously become Henry Rollins.
Posted by: Â© Sponge at March 07, 2011 05:33 PM (UK9cE)

Dude, WTF?

Posted by: H. Rollins at March 07, 2011 02:15 PM (ay6+/)

159 Who's this kid trying to impress?

Posted by: David Carradine at March 07, 2011 02:16 PM (yKP4s)

160 "... your behavior has crossed the line and is incompatible with your continued employment... because you made it personal."

So I guess he shouldn't go for any Italian dinners in Brooklyn, yes?

Posted by: Sterling Hayden at March 07, 2011 05:48 PM (AZGON)

I'd say he shouldn't go out to any restaurant in the greater L.A. basin, including Ventura County.

Note what happened to Ricky Gervais. When he was being a douche toward all the usual suspects, like W and God, the Hollywood folk lionized him. When he used his slot emceeing the Golden Globes to go after Tom Cruise and Robert Downey Jr., suddenly he wasn't so damn funny after all.

It is never "just business" with people in Hollywood, and they know well how to serve revenge chilled to just above freezing.

Posted by: stuiec at March 07, 2011 02:18 PM (Di3Im)

161 Winning, If By Winning You Mean Fired

We Are The Champions.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at March 07, 2011 02:18 PM (QMtmy)

162 I bet Jim J. Bullock is available. Or Fred Savage.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at March 07, 2011 02:18 PM (1ODi+)

163 How rock-bottom had Robert Downey, Jr. hit... and has he really turned things around? Seems like someone in Hollywood should try to get through to this guy, if only for his kids' sakes.

Posted by: Y-not at March 07, 2011 02:18 PM (pW2o8)

164 Here be some more SHEEN! SOLO! SCREAM HIS NAME!

Posted by: booger at March 07, 2011 02:21 PM (9RFH1)

165 167 How rock-bottom had Robert Downey, Jr. hit... and has he really turned things around? Seems like someone in Hollywood should try to get through to this guy, if only for his kids' sakes.

Posted by: Y-not at March 07, 2011 06:18 PM (pW2o

Well there was that whole passing out in a little kids bed of someone elses house. And he hasn't done that since. So Downey does seem to have turned it around.

Posted by: buzzion at March 07, 2011 02:22 PM (oVQFe)

166

Yeah Downey had the drug problem but he didn't run his mouth like a retard either.

Sheen is in his own league of assbaggery.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at March 07, 2011 02:23 PM (pLTLS)

167 17 I see John Stamos as the replacement

Actually, that's the word on the street here, last that I heard. At least, CBS has talked to him about it.

Posted by: Otis Criblecoblis at March 07, 2011 02:23 PM (fjoLg)

168 Oooohh new thread. That's so weird. I've been refreshing and then this one new just pops up. I no understand teh interwebz sometimes.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at March 07, 2011 02:24 PM (pLTLS)

169 nickless: "Just have his character go to jail...

It's gold, Jerry! GOLD!"

Wanna see platinum? I've never seen the show so someone will have to see if this is scriptable, but here goes: come back to production with a storyline that Sheen died while on vacation doing coke and whores. It writes itself.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at March 07, 2011 02:25 PM (swuwV)

170 He'll be cast as the the comical room mate in a series on young Obama's college days. It'll be called: "Let Me Be Clear".

Posted by: Soona at March 07, 2011 02:25 PM (gZqDI)

171

Sheen/ Sutherland - Young Guns
Sutherland/ Bacon - Few Good Men

Ha. I'm thinking, Donald Sutherland wasn't in either one of those movies. What the hell are they talking about?

Posted by: USS Diversity at March 07, 2011 02:25 PM (gJNMj)

172 167 How rock-bottom had Robert Downey, Jr. hit... and has he really turned things around?

It definitely looks like it. The difference between his case and so many others is that he did hard time. Here in CA, we have a Get Out Of Prison Free card, thanks to Prop. 36, for drug cases. But Downey exceeded those parameters and went to prison. He himself credits that for his rehabilitation.

Posted by: Otis Criblecoblis at March 07, 2011 02:26 PM (fjoLg)

173 172 Oooohh new thread. That's so weird. I've been refreshing and then this one new just pops up. I no understand teh interwebz sometimes.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at March 07, 2011 06:24 PM (pLTLS)

The HQ has a notoriously bad refresh issue for me. I can be hitting refresh and it will show me a new post no problem, and keep going just fine. But then eventually it won't refresh until I do a Ctl+F5 refresh. Its never an issue in the comments, but always for the main page.

Posted by: buzzion at March 07, 2011 02:27 PM (oVQFe)

174

How rock-bottom had Robert Downey, Jr. hit... and has he really turned things around? Seems like someone in Hollywood should try to get through to this guy, if only for his kids' sakes.

Actually, Sheen would make an excellent Tony Stark.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at March 07, 2011 02:28 PM (QMtmy)

175
Is the claim that's an implied provision in every contract?

I don't think it's implied. I think there is a written morals type clause in there- one of our local tv anchors started doing some dodgy things (involved with married man under indictment, etc.) and she was fired under that clause.

Posted by: shibumi at March 07, 2011 02:28 PM (OKZrE)

176

The HQ has a notoriously bad refresh issue for me.

I use IE at work and that's when I have probs. It works fine on Firefox at home. Weirdness.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at March 07, 2011 02:29 PM (pLTLS)

177 You know who this helps? Mitt Romney.

Posted by: Joejm65 at March 07, 2011 02:30 PM (BDB5n)

178 Remember Howard K. Stern, that finger-sniffing attorney who was death-watching Anna Nicole Smith? Where is that guy for Stern? Sheen is just the chimp; I want to see the Svengali who's pimping him.

Posted by: railwriter at March 07, 2011 02:30 PM (daRzV)

179 Its never an issue in the comments, but always for the main page.

Posted by: buzzion at March 07, 2011 06:27 PM (oVQFe)

Huh. I get that all the time, I just figured I was doing something wrong.

Posted by: ErikW at March 07, 2011 02:31 PM (D0cCe)

180 181

The HQ has a notoriously bad refresh issue for me.

I use IE at work and that's when I have probs. It works fine on Firefox at home. Weirdness.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at March 07, 2011 06:29 PM (pLTLS)

Yeah I think its just an IE issue. Just use Ctl+F5 for your refresh to get around it.

Posted by: buzzion at March 07, 2011 02:32 PM (oVQFe)

181 Speculating on Sheen's behavior is like contemplating why your dog licks his balls.
_{Now, if he starts chasing cars, I'll want to see that vid.}

Posted by: ontherocks at March 07, 2011 02:35 PM (HBqDo)

182 124 I hope I'm first with this: Charlie Sheen Autotuned. Niiiice!

Posted by: George Orwell at March 07, 2011 02:44 PM (AZGON)

183 He's tan. He's ready. Say hi to the new character, "Cousin Bill" Clinton.

Posted by: Doc at March 07, 2011 02:48 PM (jGXQI)

184 don't think it's implied. I think there is a written morals type clause in there- one of our local tv anchors started doing some dodgy things (involved with married man under indictment, etc.) and she was fired under that clause.

Yeah not every contract has the broader clause. In this case I think the contract has a narrower "Committed a felony" type clause. Without a conviction to show the civil court though, they are going to have a hard time with this.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at March 07, 2011 02:49 PM (0q2P7)

185 if 5'1" Scott Caan can be cast as a go to wide receiver...

Posted by: Moxon. I won the last game and skipped the playoffs at March 07, 2011 02:49 PM (Hb5CK)

186 MikeTheMoose: "'Committed a felony' type clause."

He admitted to doing considerable cocaine, didn't he? I think he did. Others have attested to it anyway. So, sure, he wasn't busted for it but he did commit a felony.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at March 07, 2011 02:52 PM (swuwV)

187 Have his stalker, Rose, go rogue instead of being all cutesy and bump him off.

Posted by: Who Knows at March 07, 2011 02:53 PM (rZgW4)

188 At this stage, Sheen is half-crazy and half-fake crazy. I do like the phrase "whatshiscock".

He knows what his audience wants and he gives it to them.

The problem for him is the voracious appetite for entertainment in America. 6 months from now his warlock whatshiscock vatican assassin schtick is gonna sound like Henry Youngman working the Vaudeville circuit. We demand ever fresh, ever new material. Which is why our popular entertainment is created by a steady stream of Ivy League 20-somethings. We squeeze their brains for clever, funny and, most importantly, new jokes and new gags and new catch phrases. And when their skulls have been squeezed dry we get a new crop of clever 20-somethings.

Posted by: Clubber Lang at March 07, 2011 02:53 PM (QcFbt)

189

The HQ has a notoriously bad refresh issue for me.

I use Arm & Hammer Baking Soda and never hear any complaints.

Posted by: ontherocks at March 07, 2011 02:55 PM (HBqDo)

190 And now, the CBS Evening News with Charlie Sheen. Don't laugh. It could happen.

And Sheen would have three times the credibility of Couric.

Posted by: Nunya Bizness at March 07, 2011 02:56 PM (Nezv+)

191 Winning: A Pictorial Study http://tinyurl.com/4zcygkd

Posted by: richard mcenroe at March 07, 2011 02:56 PM (i8rg9)

192

Posted by: Clubber Lang at March 07, 2011 06:53 PM (QcFbt)

That's show binniss. That's the way it always has been, and that's the way it will always be.

Posted by: Soona at March 07, 2011 02:57 PM (gZqDI)

193 I came in and saw my Charlie Sheen and his girlfriend on TV. I said "What are you watching?" She said "Charlie Sheen and his girlfriend. Rachel Oberlin." I said "That's not her name. That's Bree Olson". Which was a mistake. After some pointed words about my viewing habits, my wife said "Well, she sure looks young. She's very little." I said, "She may be little, but she can hold a lot." My wife is not speaking to me.

Posted by: Kasper Hauser at March 07, 2011 03:03 PM (NYW94)

194 Damn. I'm getting tired of hearing about CharlieFuckinSheen.

Posted by: GrumpyUnk at March 07, 2011 03:05 PM (ATLuo)

195 My Brother The Car! Posted by: George Orwell at March 07, 2011 05:54 PM (AZGON) Comedy gold! How heartwarming to remember Jerry Van Dyke and his mother, reincarnated into the radio of a 1910 Maxwell!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at March 07, 2011 03:07 PM (UlUS4)

196

It's in the site bylaws.

We're the uncle that only gets invited over on important holidays.

Posted by: Alex at March 07, 2011 03:09 PM (J2ejK)

197 That's show binniss. That's the way it always has been, and that's the way it will always be.

Posted by: Soona at March 07, 2011 06:57 PM (gZqDI)

I agree. I know a guy who was a tv writer in his 20s and by his mid-30s couldn't buy his way into an interview. He made great money in his 20s, though and lived it up in Hollywood. A few are able to make long careers of it. And a few figure out how to become producers and move into management. But most get used up and spit out.

And that's life. Very few 40-somethings can think up something new and funny that nobody has ever heard before. Even if they used to be great at that back when they were 24.

Posted by: Clubber Lang at March 07, 2011 03:13 PM (QcFbt)

198

I said "That's not her name. That's Bree Olson".

This is funny.

Had a friend who figured his BiL was had to be gay because he lived next to a famous Porn Starlet, but didn't know her stage name...

that Porn Star - Jenna Jameson.

Posted by: garrett at March 07, 2011 03:20 PM (fy/9q)

199 I think they should replace him with Ritchie Cunningham's older brother, Chuck.

Posted by: Minuteman at March 07, 2011 03:29 PM (9TciV)

200 75 William Conrad as a detective coming out of retirement, Frank Cannon. Special guest star: Sarah Jessica Parker as the burro. Tonight's episode: "Mrs. Ed" Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 07, 2011 05:44 PM (7utQ2) Are you saying Sarah Jessica Parker is horsey? I loved her in Secretariat, even if she kind of mumbled with that bit in her mouth.

Posted by: CoolCzech at March 07, 2011 03:33 PM (tJjm/)

201 Are you saying Sarah Jessica Parker is horsey?

I loved her in Secretariat, even if she kind of mumbled with that bit in her mouth.

Ferris Bueler is soooooo going to kick all your asses.......

Posted by: Portnoy at March 07, 2011 03:50 PM (azgo2)

202 Charlie Sheen fired? I did not see that coming.

Posted by: kansas at March 07, 2011 03:52 PM (srmf8)

203

And that's life. Very few 40-somethings can think up something new and funny that nobody has ever heard before. Even if they used to be great at that back when they were 24.

Posted by: Clubber Lang at March 07, 2011 07:13 PM (QcFbt)

The hell you say! We AOSHQ morons do it every thread! Val-u-Rite helps.

Posted by: torabora at March 07, 2011 03:59 PM (LIc9J)

204 Just for the fun of it I just applied for the job as his 'twitter' secretary or intern or whatever.

Posted by: Ma Bell at March 07, 2011 04:10 PM (rHtW+)

205 Selections from the Warner Bros letter:

Most fun, Ive had reading a legal missive.
-----------------------------------------
Your client has been engaged in dangerously self-destructive conduct and appears to be very ill....

Warner Bros. would not, could not, and should not attempt to continue "business as usual" while Mr. Sheen destroys himself as the world watches.

Warner Bros. is entitled to suspend Mr. Sheen's employment under the
Agreement due to his "Incapacity" under Section 12 of the Standard Terms and Conditions

There is ample evidence supporting Warner Bros. reasonable good faith opinion that Mr. Sheen has committed felony offenses involving moral turpitude (including but not limited to furnishing of cocaine to others as part of the self-destructive lifestyle he has described publicly)

Posted by: jmchez at March 07, 2011 04:15 PM (Vt8V6)

206 Have we heard a word from papa Martin Sheen yet? Remember, the guy who made fun of George W as a white-knuckle dry drunk who was doing sobriety the wrong way? Because W just prayed and stopped drinking and never had a relapse incident of any kind, as opposed to being in a program and working The 39 Steps and constantly talk talk talking, which seems to work real well for Martin and the Sheen family, except for Martin's son.

Oh, and I do remember how Charlie read one of his ex-wives (Denise Richards) shit backwards and forwards for committing the worst sin an actor can commit in Hollywood, "You're unemployed, you jobless loser."

Posted by: Little Miss Spellcheck at March 07, 2011 04:19 PM (xqhoO)

207 I'm guessing that newspaper editors all over America are instructing their obit writers to update Charlie Sheen's. Somewhere, somebody's putting together a documentary on his life, leaving the last ten minutes open for his death by overdose/car wreck/falls off ledge/etc.

Posted by: Tantor at March 07, 2011 04:21 PM (Ek/Oc)

208 I liked my Dead pool picks better...and I am sticking with them.

Sheen will probably outlive us all. A vagrant, toothless, drinking Freight Train and wrinkly. But he will outlive us. And he will be happy doing it.

Posted by: Marcus at March 07, 2011 04:25 PM (9K9Xc)

209 JJ Sefton @ 202: Jerry Van Dyke and his mother, reincarnated into the radio of a 1910 Maxwell!

A 1928 Porter,
That's my mother dear.
She helps me through every thing I do
And I'm so glad she's here.

I hear a song once and the lyrics stick in my memory forever.
Never saw the TV show.
Wouldn't Hindus take offense at this mockery of reincarnation?

Posted by: Little Miss Spellcheck at March 07, 2011 04:25 PM (xqhoO)

210 Wouldn't Hindus take offense at this mockery of reincarnation?

Posted by: Little Miss Spellcheck

Sure they can. But first, they will......

Posted by: Mel Gibson! at March 07, 2011 04:31 PM (sJTmU)

211 Here's the letter and yes, there is a morals clause:
http://goo.gl/z3lmG

Posted by: moron at March 07, 2011 04:47 PM (nEa/y)

212 So, if Charlie Sheen is no longer on "Two and a Half Men", does that mean they'll have to rename it as "Two Men"?

Posted by: SouthofReality at March 07, 2011 05:00 PM (/RlBF)

213 Christian Louboutin red shoes is a woman, is the symbol of the direct source of the woman superiority. Ever heard a woman regrets: "women don't wear a Christian Louboutin red shoes, that is simply not fashion for what." That's right, women to fashion, have to wear Christian Louboutin red shoes. Hence, wear red shoes Louboutin Christian woman always from a pierced no personality woman pile fore, absolutely standout feeling. Woman such butterflies, daring, let a person be surprised Cha her poise, more let a person obsessed with her charm. such as:
Christian Louboutin
Christian Louboutin
Christian Louboutin
Christian Louboutin

WINNING, BITCHES!

Posted by: Charlie Sheen 's new gig at March 07, 2011 05:09 PM (Lnsuu)

214 Hey, Bros.

My next gig is entitled "Tony Montana Does Colombia With Three Goddesses And a Fucking F-18!"

Winning The Future, Bitches!

Posted by: Carlos Estevez at March 07, 2011 05:46 PM (/8mBu)

215

Christian Louboutin
Christian Louboutin
Christian Louboutin
Christian Louboutin

shoes for sale - DONT BE A CLEANSKIN, BE A SHEENSKIN!

WINNING!@!!

Posted by: SHOES FOR SALE at March 07, 2011 05:48 PM (FLWZ4)

216 If only we would let Roman Polanski back in the country without arresting him, Two and a Half Men would be saved. Jake is now a man, and Roman can be the new half man.

Posted by: Z as in Jersey at March 07, 2011 06:24 PM (sXUiz)

217 80 Who can come up with the best six degrees to Kevin Bacon with Sheen?

This one is easy: Charlies' usual coke dealer is the son of a coke dealer who sold a gun to a coke dealer who did time with the son of another coke dealer who once owned a string of ho's who serviced a coke dealer who was cellmates of the coke dealer for John Belushi, who co-starred with Kevin Bacon in Animal House.

Posted by: Geekasaurus at March 08, 2011 03:00 AM (Svgfb)

218 I say bring back Raymond Burr as Ironsides, have him cruise around the beach house in his wheelchair. He then gets stuck in the sand, with a rising tide, and is rescued by a group of gay dolphin mercenaries , with French accents. Problem solved.

Posted by: jasonj at March 08, 2011 05:58 AM (oHKf7)

219 I'm thinking CBS will trade Charlie's contract to ABC as the star of "The Bachelor" for an ABC star's contract to be named later...

Posted by: drfredc at March 08, 2011 09:23 AM (puRnk)

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