Ace of Spades HQ

July 27, 2011

Dumbest Movie Ever Made?
— Ace

It's a movie based on the game Battleship. Yes, C4, you sunk my battleship.

It has a fleet of five ships (I'm guessing, for the game tie-in) up against, of course, an alien marine navy.

I don't know what the hell to make of it.

If you notice a lot of boobage in that trailer (for a movie aimed at kids), you're not alone. Someone put together a clip of just Brooklyn Decker's boob-squish.

Thanks to Gabe and rdbrewer.

I know it's an old joke that Hollywood is officially out of ideas but seriously, Hollywood is officially out of ideas.

I mean -- Footloose

They "remade," supposedly, The Killer Elite, but it really looks like they just bought the name and wrote a completely different (standard action dopiness) script.

And for those of you who can't get enough of boardgame-based movies and bizarre remake choices, you'll be happy to know that the cheesy and crappy but sort of good Clue movie is, yes, being remade too.

Posted by: Ace at 03:19 PM | Comments (146)
Post contains 174 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Battle: LA in water.

Posted by: robviously at July 27, 2011 03:21 PM (7UMow)

2 What, you thought we only had an Air Force?

Posted by: The ID4 Aliens at July 27, 2011 03:21 PM (vU8C3)

3 Heh. They were filming this in front of my house last week. Didn't see anything interesting other than the awesome efficiency of the production crew. There were in and out in half the estimated time.

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at July 27, 2011 03:22 PM (/62i9)

4 I'm anxiously awaiting the MGM release of "Mystery Date," directed by Milton Bradley.

Posted by: George Orwell at July 27, 2011 03:23 PM (AZGON)

5 There were in and out in half the estimated time.

Lucky bastard.

Posted by: Lindsey Lohan at July 27, 2011 03:23 PM (vU8C3)

6 Hey. How about Chutes and Ladders!

Or something with the Pop-O-Matic Bubble as a Thunderdome thing?

Posted by: Milt, you know, Bradley at July 27, 2011 03:23 PM (Zi+FQ)

7 Hollywood's been bankrupt for quite some time now.

Ace, ever watch the very beginning of that John Travolta-Hugh Jackman movie called "Swordfish"? Travolta has a really good scene, one of the best I think next to Alec Baldwin giving his sale pep talk, about how out-of-ideas Hollywood is.

Posted by: EC at July 27, 2011 03:24 PM (f4TZ2)

8 Don't forget the movie that's based on Rock'em Sock'em Robots that stars Hugh Jackman.

Posted by: buzzion at July 27, 2011 03:24 PM (oVQFe)

9 Out of ideas? What about High School Musical 3?

Posted by: FireHorse at July 27, 2011 03:25 PM (gTGz3)

10 You know that game where you have a cup on a stick tied to a ball on a string? You toss that ball and try to catch it in the cup? I see Christian Bale in the role of "Ball" and Morgan Freeman in the role of "Cup." "String" could be an unknown, or maybe Jennifer Aniston. A natural for 3-D on the widescreen, don't you think?

Posted by: George Orwell at July 27, 2011 03:25 PM (AZGON)

Movies are like music. At some point, every formula has been explored.

The challenge is to make the old new again and Hollywood has failed in a sorry, whimpering way.

Posted by: ErikW at July 27, 2011 03:26 PM (TaoxO)

12 That clip is just downright hypnotic. In a good way.

Posted by: pep at July 27, 2011 03:26 PM (6TB1Z)

13 At least it is not a damn repop or nth generation sequel.

Posted by: Vic at July 27, 2011 03:26 PM (M9Ie6)

In a world where touching the metal side of the opening can spell instant death...

Operation, The Movie

Posted by: Cicero at July 27, 2011 03:26 PM (QKKT0)

15 The clip looks good.

Posted by: nevergiveup at July 27, 2011 03:26 PM (7wmOW)

Hungry Hungry Hippos starring Joey "Jaws" Chestnut.

_{This film has not yet been rated.}

Posted by: FireHorse at July 27, 2011 03:26 PM (gTGz3)

17 Battle Cry: You sank my battleship!!

Posted by: Dave C at July 27, 2011 03:27 PM (idSAM)

18 Cowboys and Aliens!

Posted by: mike at July 27, 2011 03:28 PM (3KAp0)

19 What about High School Musical 3?

That was already made. They're working on 4.

I saw the original Clue and was unimpressed.

Posted by: Rum, Goddess of Doom & Sith Lord at July 27, 2011 03:28 PM (YxBuk)

A tornado, a witch, and a city built entirely of little wooden blocks...

The Wizard of Jenga

Posted by: Cicero at July 27, 2011 03:29 PM (QKKT0)

21 has anyone optioned stratego yet?

Posted by: garrett at July 27, 2011 03:29 PM (AD+C5)

22 I'd heard about this movie a few months back because they were filming in Baton Rouge. They'd started with the description of it and then ended with "based on the game Battleship", which I thought had to be a mistake. Not so much.

It looks like someone took that fake script of The Dark Knight done in the style of Michael Bay and turned it into a $100+ million budget movie.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at July 27, 2011 03:30 PM (b8JnP)

23 Hollywood won't turn around until the incestuous ruling clique is gone. Their politics are hermetically sealed, so why should their approach to making movies be any different?

Posted by: pep at July 27, 2011 03:30 PM (6TB1Z)

24 Get ready for the action-adventure summer hit of 2012... Scrabble, The Movie Starring Brian Dennehy as the letter "Q" and featuring Dame Judy Dench as the wooden tray

Posted by: George Orwell at July 27, 2011 03:31 PM (AZGON)

Filming for a movie about the Alaskan serial killer Robert Hansen start in October here. John Cusak as Hansen and Nick Cage as some cop.

True story. My wife worked for Hansen in his bakery when he was killing the prostitutes.

Posted by: Bosk at July 27, 2011 03:31 PM (n2K+4)

26 I am your singing telegram!

Posted by: alexthechick at July 27, 2011 03:31 PM (sf+iw)

I saw the original Clue and was unimpressed.

You didn't even enjoy the singing telegram?

Posted by: garrett at July 27, 2011 03:32 PM (AD+C5)

has anyone optioned stratego yet?

There've been creative differences as to the power of a spy.

Posted by: FireHorse at July 27, 2011 03:32 PM (gTGz3)

29 And at the same time, ticket prices are travelling somewhere north of $15. I think this is a "market" with a major, seismic "correction" coming very soon.

Eventually, people will stop paying good money for shit (at least in large enough numbers to make a difference).

Posted by: Rod Rescueman at July 27, 2011 03:33 PM (HwE/1)

30 I owe you a coke, alexthechick.

Posted by: garrett at July 27, 2011 03:33 PM (AD+C5)

31 Jessica Alba IS Orange Dot in a convoluted mystery with a turn at every spin of the dial... Twister

Posted by: George Orwell at July 27, 2011 03:33 PM (AZGON)

32 There've been creative differences as to the power of a spy.

He can kill a General, but gets tooled on by everyone else. Also, those number 8 guys are impervious to bombs, so use 'em!

Posted by: Rod Rescueman at July 27, 2011 03:34 PM (HwE/1)

33 26 I am your singing telegram!

Posted by: alexthechick at July 27, 2011 07:31 PM (sf+iw)

Can you be a Singing Strippergram instead?

Posted by: buzzion at July 27, 2011 03:34 PM (oVQFe)

34 Now that I've seen the trailer... Damn. That DOES look good. Reminds me of the start of the novel "Weapons of Choice".

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at July 27, 2011 03:34 PM (/62i9)

35 They should make a movie out of Hasbro's "Too Drunk To Fuck!". Easy to cast.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff, EXXXTREMIST at July 27, 2011 03:35 PM (lbo6/)

36 Candy Land II : The Amputations

Posted by: Dr Spank at July 27, 2011 03:35 PM (IMglX)

37 Angelina Jolie and that Guy from Thor in:

PILLOW FORT
Summer 2013

"Sleeptime just got deadly."

Posted by: weft cut-loop at July 27, 2011 03:36 PM (DEcmU)

38 Chutes and Ladders- Quest for the Missing Piece.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at July 27, 2011 03:36 PM (SY2Kh)

39 I kinda like the looks of that battleship flick. You would have thought that they would have made an old board game flick based on the times we live in. Candyland?

Posted by: Drider at July 27, 2011 03:36 PM (uJSfP)

Not since Grand Canyon has a movie been this boring

Connect 4

Posted by: garrett at July 27, 2011 03:36 PM (AD+C5)

41 Wait, Peter Berg is directing? Very Bad Battleships?

Posted by: moviegique at July 27, 2011 03:38 PM (Cepxj)

42 I owe you a coke, alexthechick.

That you do.

Posted by: alexthechick at July 27, 2011 03:38 PM (sf+iw)

43 Man this blog is going to shit. It's "Boner's Next Debt Lucy Kick" all day long, then 4 column inches of movie review and no fucking Anka. You sold your soul, Ace.

Posted by: someguy at July 27, 2011 03:38 PM (iIQ0a)

44 You know that game where you have a cup on a stick tied to a ball on a string? You toss that ball and try to catch it in the cup? I see Christian Bale in the role of "Ball" and Morgan Freeman in the role of "Cup." "String" could be an unknown, or maybe Jennifer Aniston.

A natural for 3-D on the widescreen, don't you think?

Maybe it would work better as a sequel to "2 Girls, 1 Cup". At least that showed me something I haven't seen before.

Posted by: Rod Rescueman at July 27, 2011 03:38 PM (HwE/1)

45 Hollywood won't turn around until the incestuous ruling clique is gone. Their politics are hermetically sealed, so why should their approach to making movies be any different?

Posted by: pep at July 27, 2011 07:30 PM (6TB1Z)

That's why I don't watch anything out of Hollywood anymore.

I'm sorry but my need for entertainment does not make me slave to others who would wish me dead.

I'm done with 'em.

Posted by: ErikW at July 27, 2011 03:38 PM (TaoxO)

Not since Grand Canyon has a movie been this boring

Connect 4

.............................

If it had Chuck Norris in it, I might bite.....

Posted by: crowsting at July 27, 2011 03:38 PM (61BD9)

47 In a world where your existence can turn upside down in a flash:
Tiddly Winks

Posted by: pep at July 27, 2011 03:38 PM (6TB1Z)

wasn't there going to be a remake of "The Three Stooges" also.

and whats with the smurf movie .......cartoons are open besides board games...

Posted by: morigu at July 27, 2011 03:39 PM (QXzRP)

Dreidel

Posted by: dreidelthemovie.com at July 27, 2011 03:39 PM (AD+C5)

50 Ace: The guys get shits.

Posted by: someguy at July 27, 2011 03:40 PM (iIQ0a)

51 Johnny Depp IS a brave rabbit on his own, finding a friend in Peetie Bow Wow as he navigates a briar patch from Hell itself, in the fantasy adventure... Uncle Wiggily: The Road to Mr. Possum Coming this Christmas

Posted by: George Orwell at July 27, 2011 03:40 PM (AZGON)

Posted by: someguy at July 27, 2011 07:38 PM (iIQ0a)

Que pasa, somegay!

Posted by: ErikW at July 27, 2011 03:40 PM (TaoxO)

53 Uncle Wiggily: The Road to Mr. Possum

Racist. Why not Birth of a Nation?

Posted by: pep at July 27, 2011 03:40 PM (6TB1Z)

54 Christina Hendricks in... A G A M E O F C H E S T First you Check... And then you Mate.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff, EXXXTREMIST at July 27, 2011 03:40 PM (lGFXF)

55 Adrian Brody and Halle Berry in:

Marco / Polo: Pool of Love
"No getting out of the pool, dammit."

Posted by: weft cut-loop at July 27, 2011 03:41 PM (DEcmU)

56 53 Why not Birth of a Nation? didn't you mean "birthers" of a nation?

Posted by: morigu at July 27, 2011 03:42 PM (QXzRP)

57 Hollywood won't turn around until the incestuous ruling clique is gone. Their politics are hermetically sealed, so why should their approach to making movies be any different?

Hollywood has always been run by a small group of rarely-changing elites. It was actually much worse during the studio system, yet many consider this period to be Hollywood's high-water mark.

I prefer the 70's, myself.

Posted by: Rod Rescueman at July 27, 2011 03:42 PM (HwE/1)

58 Charlie Sheen and Lindsey Lohan star in, Pass Out.

Posted by: MGM at July 27, 2011 03:42 PM (H3jYe)

59 One moment, a wicket and a wooden ball... the next, an alien terror from outer space, battling for final supremacy on Earth... Transformers XVII: Croquet Masters

Posted by: George Orwell at July 27, 2011 03:43 PM (AZGON)

60 The guys get shits. Best joke this blog has seen in a long, long time.

Posted by: someotherguy at July 27, 2011 03:43 PM (iIQ0a)

61 Sir Ian Murray McKellen in Checkers- Return of the King.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at July 27, 2011 03:44 PM (SY2Kh)

62 Stop talkin about movies and start talking about BROOKLYN DECKER!!

Posted by: Big T Party at July 27, 2011 03:45 PM (FfyYt)

63 It was actually much worse during the studio system, yet many consider this period to be Hollywood's high-water mark.

Except that the moguls didn't hate America. Horse heads in their beds, yes, but not America.

Posted by: pep at July 27, 2011 03:45 PM (6TB1Z)

Knight jumps queen! Bishop jumps queen! Pawns jump queen! *Gangbang*!

Posted by: King Louis XVI at July 27, 2011 03:45 PM (AD+C5)

65 Charlie Sheen, Lindsey Lohan

And with a special contribution to the soundtrack from an old cut, Amy Winehouse in:

Trouble!

Posted by: Dave C at July 27, 2011 03:45 PM (idSAM)

66 You didn't even enjoy the singing telegram?

I enjoyed the end of the singing telegram. Ok, and I liked Tim Curry. That was about it.

Posted by: Rum, Goddess of Doom & Sith Lord at July 27, 2011 03:46 PM (YxBuk)

67 Transformers XVI: Shit Toys You Will Get This Christmas vs. Shit Toys Your Friends Will Get This Christmas

Yeah, it's a long title, but it will make gobs of money anyway.

Posted by: Rod Rescueman at July 27, 2011 03:46 PM (HwE/1)

68 62 Stop talkin about movies and start talking about BROOKLYN DECKER!!

I'm of the opinion that they are real..

Posted by: Dave C at July 27, 2011 03:47 PM (idSAM)

69 Ingmar Bergman explores the ache and depth of loneliness, alienation and card counting in his last film masterpiece... Solitaire

Posted by: George Orwell at July 27, 2011 03:47 PM (AZGON)

70
That's why I don't watch pay for anything out of Hollywood anymore.

FIFY

Posted by: Bit Torrent at July 27, 2011 03:47 PM (71Fka)

71 Wow, a new Nick Cage movie? Ace is besides himself.

Posted by: mike at July 27, 2011 03:47 PM (3KAp0)

72 Oliver Stone delivers the wartime classic :

Arme

Posted by: Dr Spank at July 27, 2011 03:48 PM (IMglX)

73 Stop talkin about movies and start talking about BROOKLYN DECKER!! -- I'm of the opinion that they are real.. Press that on me and I'll render a judgment.

Posted by: George Orwell at July 27, 2011 03:48 PM (AZGON)

74 Chutes and Ladders 3D. Sorry if it's already used.

Posted by: a podiatrist at July 27, 2011 03:50 PM (ndlFj)

75 Hollywood is so out of ideas that pretty soon they'll make a movie based on the MMO game, "Lord of the Rings Online."

Posted by: JRRT at July 27, 2011 03:50 PM (H3jYe)

76 Speaking of dreidels.

Posted by: alexthechick at July 27, 2011 03:50 PM (sf+iw)

77 Not every movie has to challenge the mind. Sometimes, especially with all the shit going down right now, a mindless diversion can be a welcome reprieve.

Bring on the Crash!-Boom!-Bang!

A little humor and some great special effects would go a long way towards cheering me up right now.

Posted by: Clueless at July 27, 2011 03:51 PM (piMMO)

78 Chutes and Ladders 3D. Sorry if it's already used.

Candy Land?

Yahtzee?

Monopoly? Well, actually, I might watch that.

Posted by: Clueless at July 27, 2011 03:52 PM (piMMO)

79 Luke and Owen Wilson as two brothers, struggling to come to terms with each other over a deck of cards in the aftermath of a bitter love triangle they shared with the same woman in:

WAR.

Also staring Kathy Griffin.

Posted by: Dave C at July 27, 2011 03:52 PM (idSAM)

80 good Lord some people need to settle the fuck down a bit.

Posted by: The Great Satan's Ghost at July 27, 2011 03:54 PM (UrPTC)

81 Martin Mull and Kevin Kline in:

The Game of Life.

Posted by: Dave C at July 27, 2011 03:54 PM (idSAM)

82 75 Hollywood is so out of ideas that pretty soon they'll make a movie based on the MMO game, "Lord of the Rings Online."

Posted by: JRRT at July 27, 2011 07:50 PM (H3jYe)

Oh, wait.

Posted by: JRRT at July 27, 2011 03:54 PM (H3jYe)

83 On the subject of not dumb movies, they've been airing Miller's Crossing on cable. What a great movie. It bombed at the box office, only making 5 mil with a cost of 14 mil. However, since then, it has made 5 billion bucks.

Posted by: mike at July 27, 2011 03:55 PM (3KAp0)

84 Come on there is a Rock'em Sock'em robots movie coming out with Wolverine in it. I did the Hungry Hungry Hippos joke a while ago!

Posted by: blaster at July 27, 2011 03:57 PM (Fw2Gg)

85 Maureen Dowd is... O L D M A I D

Posted by: Empire of Jeff, EXXXTREMIST at July 27, 2011 03:58 PM (lGFXF)

86
Is dreidel today's secret word?

Posted by: soothsayer at July 27, 2011 04:01 PM (m9qVG)

Anne Heche stars in a tale of modern love and cunfusion

Go Fish?

Posted by: garrett at July 27, 2011 04:01 PM (AD+C5)

88 "I know it's an old joke that Hollywood is officially out of ideas but seriously, Hollywood is officially out of ideas."

Hollywood is not out of ideas. Hollywood is out of testicles.

Hollywood execs are all terrified of being fired. They know that they can remain under the radar so long as they are "developing" something -- like the story of the machinist's mate who was always busy in the aircraft carrier's shop working on an important gadget. The day came when the Admiral arrived for an inspection and the ship's commander ordered the mate to show his gadget to the Admiral. Wouldn't you know, when he ran across the deck to get to the Admiral, he tripped and the thing went over the side... and when it hit the water, it went "KLUGE!" and sank into the deep.

So if you're on a project that's always in development or turnaround, it's better than even odds you can keep your job. But when you actually have to make a movie...

... then you're in deep shit. Because if your movie flops, you're going to be fired. Unless, of course, you have an excuse: "But it was the best-selling board game of all time! Who could have guessed it would flop as a movie? It's not MY fault!"

So the Hollywood executives look for anything that has some sort of track record to prove it's going to be popular. A book, a song, a play, an old movie, a board game, a dance craze, an instant celebrity... anything they can point to as "proof" that the movie has a pre-existing audience.

Of course, independent producers who find their own financing and don't answer to studio bosses have the leeway to pick projects based on their own ideas or on spec screenplays they come across. And these sometimes become huge, and then the independent people get poached by the studios because they have "track records" that "assure success" of their next projects. (Did anyone even see The Blair Witch Project 2?)

Posted by: stuiec at July 27, 2011 04:01 PM (IkEuE)

89 A little humor and some great special effects would go a long way towards cheering me up right now.

Posted by: Clueless at July 27, 2011 07:51 PM (piMMO)

Dumb and Dumber lacks special effect but it makes me laugh every time!

Posted by: ErikW at July 27, 2011 04:01 PM (TaoxO)

90 Coming Aug. 3...

Posted by: what is dreidel? at July 27, 2011 04:02 PM (AD+C5)

91 Paul Reubens in:

Solitaire

Posted by: Rod Rescueman at July 27, 2011 04:03 PM (HwE/1)

92 Oh, c'mon. The headline here is "Liam Neeson in new movie."

Looks like fun, which is really all I want from films these days.

And the Clue movie was *great*. Hilarious send-up of the murder mystery, and multiple endings, to boot!

Posted by: Lance McCormick at July 27, 2011 04:03 PM (/D8ux)

93 An Alien Invasion movie?!?! Haven't seen one of those come out in...oh, twenty minutes.

Posted by: Sgt. York at July 27, 2011 04:06 PM (avDul)

94 Newest James Bond epic:

Teatherball

Posted by: Rod Rescueman at July 27, 2011 04:06 PM (HwE/1)

95 You know, I don't see *that* much suck in the trailer. I mean, yeah, the screw-up junior officer and the admiral's daughter is the only story Hollywood *knows* about the navy, but as long as that's a subplot. I could see the actual battle being creative and interesting, or it could suck badly. The trailer doesn't show enough to know. Will have to see more clips. Not particularly looking forward to it, like Avengers or even Cowboys and Aliens, but not getting "dumbest movie" out of it yet. Does Liam Neeson sign onto crap these days?

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at July 27, 2011 04:07 PM (bxiXv)

96 There was a good scene in the recent "Get Smart" movie. The villian, told of the potential death of a bunch of actors says, "Yes. What will we do without their razor-sharp political advice". I have no idea how that made it through.

Posted by: pep at July 27, 2011 04:07 PM (6TB1Z)

97 Clue is one of the best movies ever. "One plus one plus two plus one." I think only one of the endings was actually fully consistent with the movie though, they forgot an editing step or something. IIRC.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at July 27, 2011 04:09 PM (bxiXv)

98 "Pablo Picasso used to make drawings for a living. Now, he's drawing just to stay alive."

Pictionary II: There Will Be Blood

Posted by: Rod Rescueman at July 27, 2011 04:10 PM (HwE/1)

27-Jul-2011: The term "boob-squish" officially enters my vocabulary.

Posted by: Crusty at July 27, 2011 04:14 PM (e/u95)

100

I think only one of the endings was actually fully consistent with the movie though, they forgot an editing step or something. IIRC.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at July 27, 2011 08:09 PM (bxiXv)

In order for that ending to work you would have to ignore all the evidence of Simpson DNA. And That would be downright nutty.

Posted by: Troy McClure at July 27, 2011 04:15 PM (oVQFe)

101 I'm looking forward to Bill Maher's nex vehicle: OPERATION Quest for the Funny Bone

Posted by: Rex Harrison's Hat at July 27, 2011 04:18 PM (jAE1h)

102 All the President's Meh

Starring OJ Simpson as The Won

Filmed in glorious Rainbow SkittleColor

Posted by: trainer at July 27, 2011 04:18 PM (yCWYQ)

103

JUMANJI!!!

Posted by: Craig Kilborn at July 27, 2011 04:18 PM (3SeUr)

104 Monopoly? Well, actually, I might watch that.

Posted by: Clueless at July 27, 2011 07:52 PM (piMMO)

Directed by Ridley Scott. Seriously.

Posted by: Where're my ping pong balls? at July 27, 2011 04:23 PM (XIXhw)

105 So the Hollywood executives look for anything that has some sort of track record to prove it's going to be popular. A book, a song, a play, an old movie, a board game, a dance craze, an instant celebrity... anything they can point to as "proof" that the movie has a pre-existing audience.

It's a lot simpler than that. There is tremendous merchandising potential built into game/toy properties. Look at Transformers (a toy property owned by Hasbro, same as these games). It's capitalism. And these action films probably won't be anti military/US, unlike movies like Avatar. Classic games/toy properties are cultural touchstones so they don't usually mess with that (they might UN-ize things, that's about it).

Posted by: Where're my ping pong balls? at July 27, 2011 04:29 PM (XIXhw)

106 I must be easily entertained because I thought the trailer looked awesome

Posted by: WEsternCon at July 27, 2011 04:29 PM (YEUKV)

107 The Ten Commandments Rebooted.

Posted by: toby928™ at July 27, 2011 04:31 PM (GTbGH)

108 You know it's not really the season for it yet, but Hollywood should try a spooky movie. Something like a Friday that lands on the 13th. The possibilities are endless.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at July 27, 2011 04:35 PM (r4t7/)

109

In a world where food is control and dignity a lost dream, one man dares to try

Go Fish

Coming November 2011

Posted by: that zombie announcer guy at July 27, 2011 04:36 PM (GTbGH)

110 I like Peter Berg. Friday Night Lights? The Kingdom? Even Hancock was interesting. They just take a general theme and build a movie around it. Like the first Pirates movie wasn't "based" on the ride. And it was good. The second three weren't nearly as good!

Posted by: moviegique at July 27, 2011 04:39 PM (Cepxj)

111 Tic-Tac-Toe... starring Citizen X.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at July 27, 2011 04:42 PM (r4t7/)

112 Highlander reboot:

In the end, there can be only one:
UNO

Posted by: Where're my ping pong balls? at July 27, 2011 04:44 PM (XIXhw)

113 Who is Number 9? Crazy Eights The Madness starts Summer 2012!

Posted by: naturalfake at July 27, 2011 04:46 PM (I49Jm)

114 Comedy reigns in this light-hearted story of love and hijinks among customer service reps: Rubik's Cube

Posted by: that zombie announcer guy at July 27, 2011 04:48 PM (GTbGH)

115 I'm in for "Killer Elite". Statham is a good action guy, Clive Owen would make a fascinating villian, and DeNiro hopefully will be back to form and not phone this one in.

Posted by: UGAdawg at July 27, 2011 04:48 PM (H6JHE)

116 OK, ok... Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan are... Tiddly Winks!

Posted by: moviegique at July 27, 2011 04:51 PM (Cepxj)

117 I really like the old Clue movie. It's a lot of fun.

Posted by: Clubber Lang at July 27, 2011 04:51 PM (QcFbt)

118 I can see why Hollywood is out of ideas. I mean, nothing has really happened in the world the last ten years or so. None of our young men and women have been engaged in a heroic struggle against a barbaric enemy or anything. And there's no literature out there just screaming for celluloid treatment. I know those books by Vince Flynn and Brad Thor and Alan Furst and Charles McCarry, etc. etc. are fun reads. But who would ever want to see that stuff dramatized on the big screeen?

Posted by: somebody else, not me at July 27, 2011 04:58 PM (7EV/g)

119 Woah! The greatest cinematic achievement since A Boob Grows in Brooklyn.

Posted by: CoolCzech at July 27, 2011 05:03 PM (kUaEF)

120 "Dumbest Movie Ever Made?" Hey! Any movie that starts with a gorgeous blonde squishing her gorgeous nipple erections into a guy's chest can't be that bad.

Posted by: CoolCzech at July 27, 2011 05:05 PM (kUaEF)

121 Amid an explosive race war, two star-crossed lovers try to find hope and meaning amid the chaos. Ryan Gosling and Zoe Soldana star in
Othello

Posted by: Where're my ping pong balls? at July 27, 2011 05:06 PM (XIXhw)

122

In a world in which everything they loved was stolen from them, they decided that they had nothing left to lose.

Angry Birds

Posted by: Christopher Johnson at July 27, 2011 05:06 PM (FN39A)

123 Shame they dont have two on-going wars full of heroics, intrigue, and dramatic action to draw from ....

Posted by: Jean at July 27, 2011 05:16 PM (tvOF2)

124 My take: pretend there was never a game called "Battleship." How, then,. will the movie stand on its own as an "alien invasion" flick?

My guess: meh, maybe a bit better than so-so.

(Michael Bay has nothing to do with it, right?)

Posted by: Russ at July 27, 2011 05:17 PM (7r11k)

125 Doesn't it appear that our crack GOP debt-limit negotiation team has been practicing by playing "Battleship"?

Posted by: Jim Sonweed at July 27, 2011 05:20 PM (a7CD9)

126 Ace, You need to clue up, dude. You're not looking too bright here. You're clearly being used to advance an agenda, but it's making you look stupid - so why do it? Was that your big plan ... have a blog where I can look stupid? Because at the beginning, I thought your idea was "Have a blog so I can look cool and tell great jokes." And that was a good plan. You used to be funny. Now you're fucking boring. Dude. You're fucking boring. And predictable. Boehner's plan? How many fucking ones of these do we have to fucking endure before we get another top 10? Boehner is being rolled. Every time you post another dumb Boehner post you make it seem like you're too fucking stupid to realize that. Or else you're part of it. One or the other. Either way, you look like a moron. Write something original. Blog about how it's all a game and here's how its played. You know, something where you don't look like a complete fucking tool. Did you sign up for this? Because I dont' think you signed up for this. The guys get shirts. Did you not understand the essence of what Paul Anka was talking about. The guys get shirts.

Posted by: someguy at July 27, 2011 05:25 PM (iIQ0a)

127 Posted by: someguy at July 27, 2011 09:25 PM (iIQ0a)

Now you're just punching yourself.

Posted by: Where're my ping pong balls? at July 27, 2011 05:28 PM (XIXhw)

128 > 103 JUMANJI!!! Posted by: Craig Kilborn Now that you remind me. Jumanji was meh, but the sequel was suprisingly good. Zathura.

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at July 27, 2011 05:29 PM (/62i9)

129 Now you're just punching yourself.

Heh.

Posted by: dick cheese at July 27, 2011 05:29 PM (GTbGH)

130 118 ... I know those books by Vince Flynn and Brad Thor and Alan Furst and Charles McCarry, etc. etc. are fun reads. But who would ever want to see that stuff dramatized on the big screeen? Posted by: somebody else, not me A Brad Thor movie is in production.

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at July 27, 2011 05:30 PM (/62i9)

131 Ace, You need to clue up, dude.

If only there were a place where smart people could share their interesting ideas.

If only.

Posted by: blogspot.com at July 27, 2011 05:39 PM (GTbGH)

132 Does Hollywood know that we don't have any battleships?

Posted by: comatus at July 27, 2011 05:57 PM (W5ilH)

133

All I can tell from that excerpt from the trailer is: TURKEY'S DONE!

Posted by: Minuteman at July 27, 2011 06:09 PM (hbAPu)

134 Meh. It's no Minesweeper.

Posted by: sulla at July 27, 2011 06:23 PM (0GucZ)

135 There's also what appears to be an unofficial Rockem Sockem Robots movie coming out that has Hugh Jackman in it.

Posted by: cackfinger at July 27, 2011 06:37 PM (a9mQu)

136 Someone had better say, in a really whiny surprised tone, "You sunk my battleship!" or this movie has no reason to be.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at July 27, 2011 07:45 PM (/zYUh)

137

Pong: This Time ItÂ’s Fucking Personal.

Posted by: Ernie McCracken at July 27, 2011 08:27 PM (FUEui)

138

Holy crap! That alien battleship was the final boss of the original Crysis!

Posted by: Wolfman1911 at July 27, 2011 11:39 PM (e/J3C)

139 " Does Hollywood know that we don't have any battleships?"

Probably, but "Cutters" just doesn't have the same ring to it.

Posted by: Sgt. York at July 28, 2011 01:29 AM (avDul)

140 When are they coming out with a Martial Arts version or Rock, Paper, Scissors?

Posted by: I am Lrrr, ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8! at July 28, 2011 04:11 AM (e8T35)

141 Starring Jet Li, Chow Yung Fat, and Wang Hueng Lo....

Posted by: I am Lrrr, ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8! at July 28, 2011 04:12 AM (e8T35)

142 Hollywood is remaking Total Recall. Can't wait to see more bulging eyeballs.

Posted by: mikey at July 28, 2011 04:29 AM (GSeVd)

143 We have to Pass the Bill so the people can learn to hate the Bill!

Posted by: The Snowman Audio Book at July 28, 2011 05:38 AM (NLVZi)

144 They should do a "Connect 4" movie about a evil sociopath genius hacker trying to bring down civilization by attacking the computer than controls everything and the only thing that can possibly stop him is his fraternal twin sister who can think like he does. "Pretty Sneaky sis".

Posted by: cackfinger at July 28, 2011 07:33 AM (a9mQu)

145 Can't wait to see Connect Four

Posted by: logprof at July 28, 2011 08:11 AM (BP6Z1)

146 I can't wait for the release of Connect 4 - The Movie. "Pretty sneaky, sis!"

Posted by: Buckeye Tom at July 28, 2011 08:29 AM (7CdAO)

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