February 25, 2011

FiAF: Ancient Whore Edition
— LauraW

Meet Millie.

A woman who has worked as an escort since the end of the Second World War is still earning £50,000 pounds a year from her sex services - at the age of 96.

Artist's Rendering

Millie works two days a week and claims to have clients far younger than she.
And like most elderly women, she has a critical word for today's young ladies.

She told a magazine: 'Nowadays, the girls have vast boobs and skinny bodies and parade around half-naked.

'In my day, we would call those girls trollops. The industry's become mucky.

'At least I am maintaining standards. I always dress elegantly and my clients are gentlemen.'

No, they're not, Millie. But you tell 'em anyway.

Slushop thanks to Slushop Industries, Ltd. Hong Kong/ New York/ Bangor

Posted by: LauraW at 06:21 AM | Comments (207)
Post contains 139 words, total size 1 kb.

1 The horror, the horror...

Posted by: SurferDoc at February 25, 2011 06:24 AM (o3bYL)

2 I'd hit it.

Posted by: Helen Thomas at February 25, 2011 06:26 AM (YxGud)

3 I think I speak for most of the morons here when I say...EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Posted by: Insomniac at February 25, 2011 06:26 AM (DrWcr)

4

Is her Strawberry piehole in compliance with OSHA and EPA regulations?

Posted by: Ben at February 25, 2011 06:27 AM (wuv1c)

5 I'll bet she voted for Dingy Harry as well.

Posted by: Vic at February 25, 2011 06:28 AM (M9Ie6)

6 ECHO!

Posted by: echo... at February 25, 2011 06:28 AM (27KAF)

7 Wait, she thinks large boobs are bad? Sounds like she suffers from dementia.

Posted by: Penfold at February 25, 2011 06:28 AM (1PeEC)

8 Helen Thomas' little sister?

Who knew cooter jerky commanded such high prices?

Posted by: nickless at February 25, 2011 06:28 AM (MMC8r)

9 Huh.  She is just like a democrat, always whoring and calling it elegant.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at February 25, 2011 06:29 AM (xdHzq)

10 'In my day, we would call those girls trollops. The industry's become mucky.' She sounds like my uncle who was a prison guard- when he retired he said that he was getting out at the right time because they were starting to "get a lower class of people in prison".

Posted by: Nighthawk at February 25, 2011 06:29 AM (RSqz2)

11 This will be Katie Couric in 40 years.

Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 06:30 AM (YxGud)

12

Does she have teeth? If yes, I do not see the attraction.

Posted by: Inspector Cleuseau at February 25, 2011 06:31 AM (Q5+Og)

13 Her main competition is the Sarlac

Posted by: Ben at February 25, 2011 06:32 AM (wuv1c)

14 Who knew cooter jerky commanded such high prices?

I'm dying.

Posted by: lauraw at February 25, 2011 06:32 AM (my0DZ)

15 Based on the headline, who else was expecting a story about Maureen Dowd?

Posted by: shillelagh at February 25, 2011 06:32 AM (Oz4Bj)

16

Hey, if you've got it (or once had it), flaunt it!  The world's full of all types, even ones who fancy some 96-year-old T&A.

That said... EW.

Posted by: MWR at February 25, 2011 06:33 AM (4df7R)

17 Her lover "died in action." She's likely to follow suit.

The artist's rendering is a nice touch.

Posted by: skinbad at February 25, 2011 06:33 AM (jEdGe)

18 Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 10:30 AM (YxGud)

It will take more than 40 years for Couric to improve her standards.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at February 25, 2011 06:33 AM (LH6ir)

19 If she is still making £50K a year (about $100K) she has to look better than Couric.

Posted by: Vic at February 25, 2011 06:35 AM (M9Ie6)

20 --A woman who has worked as an escort since the end of the Second World War is still earning £50,000 pounds a year from her sex services - at the age of 96.

Did they really call them "escorts" back then? I don't think so.

 

--Millie works two days a week and claims to have clients far younger than she.

Actually, it would be more amazing if they were older than the old whore.

Posted by: Henry Harold Humphries - you can call me 'H' at February 25, 2011 06:35 AM (Ikk5M)

21 This really is stretching the FiAF concept to new limits...

Posted by: Nighthawk at February 25, 2011 06:35 AM (RSqz2)

22 Ok, #2 owes me a keyboard.

Posted by: Luca Brasi at February 25, 2011 06:36 AM (YmPwQ)

23 Can I get her number?

Posted by: Charlie Sheen at February 25, 2011 06:36 AM (hyRD4)

24 "It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, a half a pack of cigarattes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses."

Posted by: Zakn at February 25, 2011 06:36 AM (zyaZ1)

25 The artist's rendering is a nice touch.

It's the whole reason for the post, really.

Posted by: lauraw at February 25, 2011 06:36 AM (my0DZ)

26

OT: The Pigford thing just gets more and more interesting.  And by interesting I mean INFURIATING AS HELL.

Posted by: MWR at February 25, 2011 06:36 AM (4df7R)

27 I wonder what the OSHA requirements are? Hazwoper? Rad Worker II? Asbestos Abatement?

Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 06:37 AM (YxGud)

28 Honey cougar.

Posted by: FUBAR at February 25, 2011 06:37 AM (McG46)

29 Nothing like a 96 year-old whore to bring out the laughs.....I love this place!

Posted by: Luca Brasi at February 25, 2011 06:38 AM (YmPwQ)

30 A woman who has worked as an escort since the end of the Second World War is still earning £50,000 pounds a year from her sex services - at the age of 96

I hit that...many times!

/Dumb question...why?  Does she "know stuff"? 

Posted by: Wilt Chamberlain at February 25, 2011 06:38 AM (9hSKh)

31 --Millie works two days a week and claims to have clients far younger than she.

When your nearly 100 years old, a 75 year old is far younger than you.

@22

No I don't. You know the risks when you read the comments.

Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 06:39 AM (YxGud)

32 Hey, the keyboard is senisitive to spit-out soda! I can always wipe off the monitor.

Posted by: Luca Brasi at February 25, 2011 06:40 AM (YmPwQ)

33 O/T
Anyone know anyone at Ft. Bragg?  Usually when shit is about to happen all leaves are canceled.

Fire the 82nd up and let's kick some ass.

http://tinyurl.com/4ehmhag

Posted by: Kemp at February 25, 2011 06:41 AM (JpFM9)

34 Yer da best, Laura. That pic made my day. A hot-dog thrown down a hallway would be my usual go-to, but now it's the spelunker.

Posted by: Gromulin at February 25, 2011 06:41 AM (7Zrx4)

35 Shouldn't she be so..umm.. "stretched" that the "like tossing a hotdog in a long hallway" analogy applies here? 

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at February 25, 2011 06:41 AM (9hSKh)

36 #34

Oh wait, you mean Bush is not the President? well, never mind.

Posted by: Kemp at February 25, 2011 06:42 AM (JpFM9)

37

Today's gals are 'trollops' but Old Lady Hag has been taking men's money for over half a decade.

Now that's some chutzpah.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at February 25, 2011 06:42 AM (pLTLS)

38 Could you imagine the sag? Beef Curtains come to mind.

Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 06:43 AM (YxGud)

39 *Hey, how bout we make that a century.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at February 25, 2011 06:43 AM (pLTLS)

40 'In my day, we would call those girls trollops. The industry's become mucky.

Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.  You can put lipstick on a pig, but in the end, its still a pig.  Calling the tail of a dog a leg doesn't make it so...

*so on and so forth*.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at February 25, 2011 06:44 AM (9hSKh)

41 Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 10:43 AM (YxGud)

Scratch that. Beef Chaps.

Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 06:44 AM (YxGud)

42

I wonder what the OSHA requirements are? Hazwoper? Rad Worker II? Asbestos Abatement?

I hear she has public roads in there, So DOT RCA requirments most likely apply. From the picture it looks like fall protection is required as well.

Posted by: Ben at February 25, 2011 06:44 AM (wuv1c)

43 Does the 2 day work week affect her pension?

Posted by: Tami at February 25, 2011 06:45 AM (VuLos)

44 http://tinyurl.com/4rtpkfc

David Wu bringing the crazy. Dressed up as a furry in a tiger suit!

Posted by: The Robot Devil at February 25, 2011 06:45 AM (zqzYV)

45 Posted by: Ben at February 25, 2011 10:44 AM (wuv1c)

And its an Enclosed space. Need atmospheric monitoring, an escape plan, a man on the outside and constant communication. Probably need SCBA or an air-line to do your work..

Anyone got the MSDS on this?

Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 06:48 AM (YxGud)

46 With the dryness in there we may have fire-risks as well. Anyone qualified for Fire Watch?

Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 06:49 AM (YxGud)

47

OT: The Pigford thing just gets more and more interesting.  And by interesting I mean INFURIATING AS HELL.

I stand corrected.

This is actually the definition of chutzpha. Wow.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at February 25, 2011 06:49 AM (pLTLS)

48 Leave Millie alone!!!

Posted by: Guy Who Always Yells; "Leave XX Alone" at February 25, 2011 06:50 AM (6yyVB)

49 Watch out for fumes of bat guano..just saying.

Posted by: Herpes at February 25, 2011 06:50 AM (9NUi3)

50 I knew there'd be some good comments in here.  You morons didn't disappoint.

Posted by: OSUsux at February 25, 2011 06:51 AM (DFXmi)

51 OT, but of Moron Importance:  http://baconfestchicago.com/

Posted by: nickless at February 25, 2011 06:51 AM (MMC8r)

52 I wouldn't fuck her with Abe Vigoda's dick.

Posted by: Dang at February 25, 2011 06:51 AM (TXKVh)

53 Im-HO-tep....Im-HO-tep.

Posted by: grognard at February 25, 2011 06:53 AM (NS2Mo)

54 and claims to have clients far younger than she.

Mathematicaly, she'd have to.


Posted by: HeatherRadish at February 25, 2011 06:54 AM (nAOMZ)

55 £800 a throw? I could get the same sensation for free by fucking Grandpa's old wallet. brb

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at February 25, 2011 06:54 AM (ypWHs)

56 Madam Pelosi, I presume?

Posted by: AoSHQ's worst commenter, DarkLord© at February 25, 2011 06:55 AM (GBXon)

57 I would!

Posted by: Abe V. at February 25, 2011 06:55 AM (6yyVB)

58 Is that a shot of her last Gyno exam?

Posted by: CoolCzech at February 25, 2011 06:56 AM (tJjm/)

59

Posted by: Ben at February 25, 2011 10:44 AM (wuv1c)

And its an Enclosed space. Need atmospheric monitoring, an escape plan, a man on the outside and constant communication. Probably need SCBA or an air-line to do your work..

Anyone got the MSDS on this?

It should be posted on her taint per OSHA General Regulations Industry Standards

Posted by: Ben at February 25, 2011 06:56 AM (wuv1c)

60
Millie removed the stranger's penis from her toothless mouth long enough to exclaim,  "In my day, we would call those girls trollops."

Posted by: Dang at February 25, 2011 06:56 AM (TXKVh)

61 Slow news day?

Posted by: nevergiveup at February 25, 2011 06:57 AM (0GFWk)

62 The tremors make for a whole different kind of experience.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at February 25, 2011 06:57 AM (tf9Ne)

63 Posted by: Empire of Jeff at February 25, 2011 10:54 AM (ypWHs)

My ribs hurt now.

Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 06:57 AM (YxGud)

64 I could get the same sensation for free by fucking Grandpa's old wallet.
Posted by: Empire of Jeff

Where'd he get an alligator skin wallet?

Posted by: Dang at February 25, 2011 06:58 AM (TXKVh)

65 Icky. 

Posted by: Y-not at February 25, 2011 06:58 AM (pW2o8)

66 I hear tapioca makes a good lubricant.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at February 25, 2011 06:58 AM (ypWHs)

67 There are also fall, trip and overhead hazards, so fall protection and a hardhat are required.

Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 06:59 AM (YxGud)

68 Millie, alias Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeasy Millie.

Posted by: Old Night Court Line at February 25, 2011 06:59 AM (C8mwO)

69 Millie has held more balls than Victorian England.

Posted by: Dang at February 25, 2011 07:00 AM (TXKVh)

70 Maybe there's hope for Helen Thomas yet.

Posted by: Cicero at February 25, 2011 07:02 AM (sK3w3)

71 Millie was a flapper in the 20s. 3,500 dicks later, she's still a flapper.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at February 25, 2011 07:03 AM (ypWHs)

72 Did she use to sing to her clients, "Daddy wouldn't buy for me a bow-wow"?

Posted by: moi at February 25, 2011 07:03 AM (Ez4Ql)

73 The goggles...they do nothing!!!

Posted by: Lone Marauder at February 25, 2011 07:03 AM (HzR5W)

74 "These new dollar bills really stick together,  don't they?"

Posted by: Jeff's Grandpa at February 25, 2011 07:03 AM (TXKVh)

75 "Looks like a paper cut."

Posted by: Jeff's Doctor at February 25, 2011 07:03 AM (TXKVh)

76 And we need some bracing to prevent cave-ins.

Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 07:03 AM (YxGud)

77 does she queef dust?

Posted by: kidney at February 25, 2011 07:03 AM (3j6OS)

78 I guess it's better that Millie's a whore and not a stripper.  That would be really gross.

Posted by: Henry Harold Humphries - you can call me 'H' at February 25, 2011 07:04 AM (Ikk5M)

79 If you've got a flashlight we can find my truck and drive out.

Posted by: Punchline Recycling Inc. at February 25, 2011 07:04 AM (6OwZc)

80 She's never had crabs but she once had trilobites.

Posted by: kidney at February 25, 2011 07:04 AM (3j6OS)

81 Sacred honor.......

Posted by: will folkes at February 25, 2011 07:05 AM (KsKQ3)

82 More traffic than the Lincoln Tunnel.

Posted by: Cicero at February 25, 2011 07:06 AM (sK3w3)

83 Millie used to blow guys for cash. Well, she does but she used to too.

Posted by: kidney at February 25, 2011 07:06 AM (3j6OS)

84 I did not have sex with that woman...

Posted by: Bill Clinton at February 25, 2011 07:06 AM (YxGud)

85 What's the difference between an old Fountain of Decadence and a young one?

The young one uses Vaseline while the old one uses Polli-Grip. 

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at February 25, 2011 07:06 AM (9hSKh)

86 Mmmhmmmm?

Hit it I did.

Posted by: Yoda at February 25, 2011 07:06 AM (C8mwO)

87 Millies is where Priapas went to die.

Posted by: kidney at February 25, 2011 07:07 AM (3j6OS)

88 81 She's never had crabs but she once had trilobites.

Posted by: kidney at February 25, 2011 11:04 AM (3j6OS)

ROTFL!

Posted by: MWR at February 25, 2011 07:07 AM (4df7R)

89 At her last exam the gynocologist pulled out 12 Brazilian miners and a blow-up doll.

Posted by: Cicero at February 25, 2011 07:07 AM (sK3w3)

90 Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at February 25, 2011 11:06 AM (9hSKh)

Kratos, wasn't this woman one of the girls in God of War II in the Rhodes Bath House?

Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 07:07 AM (YxGud)

91 Millie's hooks up her garters to her Depends®.

Posted by: Dang at February 25, 2011 07:08 AM (TXKVh)

92 Honey badger would hit that.  Honey badger don't give a shit.

Posted by: MWR at February 25, 2011 07:08 AM (4df7R)

93 Jesus. If I thought for a second my whanger would stand up for that I'd slam the danm thing in a safe door.

Posted by: maddogg at February 25, 2011 07:08 AM (OlN4e)

94 Ben Franklin said, "Womens'  bodies improve with age."
~shudder~

Posted by: kidney at February 25, 2011 07:09 AM (3j6OS)

95 Millie's first John was the first "John".

Posted by: kidney at February 25, 2011 07:11 AM (3j6OS)

96 http://tinyurl.com/68m4dwf

MacDaddy B.Free weighs in on the issues of the day.

I've known a couple of old women (not 40+ old, I mean old) who were sexy as hell. Had they called, I'd have answered.

Posted by: comatus at February 25, 2011 07:11 AM (W5ilH)

97 This is what you get when you ask for the Senior Citizen's Dick-Count.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at February 25, 2011 07:11 AM (ypWHs)

98 She fondly recalls the days when Client No. 9 was Charlemagne.

Posted by: Cicero at February 25, 2011 07:11 AM (sK3w3)

99 She was there when a bunch of Spaniards put into London port. It was called the Spanish Armada.

She was Mistress to William the Conqueror.

Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 07:12 AM (YxGud)

100 Comment 100?

Pics, or it dint.

Posted by: comatus at February 25, 2011 07:12 AM (W5ilH)

101 Yeah, the world is full of hot as hell 96 year old whores. Too many to count.

Posted by: maddogg at February 25, 2011 07:12 AM (OlN4e)

102 Millie's cooch is the reason Jack the Ripper was never found.

Posted by: kidney at February 25, 2011 07:12 AM (3j6OS)

103
I've dorked a lot of Hollywood starlets, but never considered humping a prune, or snorting a line of cokc from their wrinkly asses.  It sounds like a bloody good time with a three boner match-up. 

Posted by: Charlie Sheen, Geriatric Caretaker at February 25, 2011 07:13 AM (ZHsNw)

104 The drill bit they used for the British Channel?

She tested it.

Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 07:14 AM (YxGud)

105 Millie is too kind. Not all of her clients are gentlemen. Her last John called her a WHORE ...whore... whore ...whore...

Posted by: kidney at February 25, 2011 07:14 AM (3j6OS)

106 Kratos, wasn't this woman one of the girls in God of War II in the Rhodes Bath House?

Now why would you think I have the answer to that question? 

/Short answer - no .

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at February 25, 2011 07:14 AM (9hSKh)

107 95 Ben Franklin said, "Womens'  bodies improve with age."

He wrote "bodies" but he meant "sammich-making abilities". 

Posted by: Y-not at February 25, 2011 07:16 AM (pW2o8)

108 Aspasia was this woman's mentor. 

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at February 25, 2011 07:16 AM (9hSKh)

109
Milly is the only woman Cheney's WarCock denied pleasure.

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at February 25, 2011 07:17 AM (ZHsNw)

110 She was the camp follower for Julius Ceaser's Army.

Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 07:18 AM (YxGud)

111 I don't know about you guys, but I woke up and laughed hard when I saw the leftists in WI screaming shame, shame.  Apparently they don't like representative votes in a constitutional republic.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at February 25, 2011 07:19 AM (xdHzq)

112 Millie's STDs have their own gravity.

Posted by: kidney at February 25, 2011 07:19 AM (3j6OS)

113 This is no cave.

Posted by: Han Solo at February 25, 2011 07:20 AM (sK3w3)

114 Paul Mason will sell no girl before her time. This mummy's time was up 50 years ago.

Posted by: Paul Mason at February 25, 2011 07:20 AM (tJjm/)

115
In between tricks, Milly watches Jeopardy.  Milly knows all the answers, and once she won a Ford Edsel on The Price is Right. 

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at February 25, 2011 07:20 AM (ZHsNw)

116

Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.  You can put lipstick on a pig, but in the end, its still a pig.  Calling the tail of a dog a leg doesn't make it so...

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at February 25, 2011 10:44 AM (9hSKh)

Yeah, but lots of gals like to think there's a huge difference between high-class and low-class whoring.  That idea isn't going away any time soon.

There was some article out a few years back indicating that among young girls in Russia, high-end hooker was seen as the best possible career path.  It's amazing what decades of godless communism can do to a people.  I wonder what % of American girls think that way?

Posted by: Reactionary at February 25, 2011 07:21 AM (xUM1Q)

117
Helen Thomas couldn't hole a candle to Milly!

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at February 25, 2011 07:21 AM (ZHsNw)

118 If you put your ear up to her cooter, you can hear the ocean.

Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 07:21 AM (YxGud)

119 108 95 Ben Franklin said, "Womens' bodies improve with age." He wrote "bodies" but he meant "sammich-making abilities". Posted by: Y-not at February 25, 2011 11:16 AM (pW2o Agreed.

Posted by: Chris Dod and Zombie Ted at February 25, 2011 07:21 AM (tJjm/)

120 Pretty funny.  I got a band of brothers ad underneath the post.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at February 25, 2011 07:22 AM (xdHzq)

121 119 If you put your ear up to her cooter, you can hear the ocean. Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 11:21 AM (YxGud) If you dive into her cooter, you can swim in it.

Posted by: CoolCzech at February 25, 2011 07:22 AM (tJjm/)

122 It's dead Jim, don't go there.

Posted by: Dr. McCoy at February 25, 2011 07:22 AM (KsKQ3)

123 Millie does make 50,000 pounds a year but not because her clients pay her. They just agree to let her keep any valuables that may fall in.
Like sports cars.

Posted by: kidney at February 25, 2011 07:23 AM (3j6OS)

124 I've seen horrors... horrors that you've seen. It's impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means. Horror... Horror has a face... and you must make a friend of horror. Horror and moral terror are your friends.

 Kurtz

Posted by: melvin at February 25, 2011 07:23 AM (3OCZw)

125 Hell, even Abe Vigoda is younger than she is.

Posted by: Otis Criblecoblis at February 25, 2011 07:23 AM (fjoLg)

126 Difference between Millie and Hillary Clinton?

Millie doesn't have cankles.

Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 07:25 AM (YxGud)

127 I'll say this: Laura Ingrahamcrackers is one tough cookie. She carries water for nobody. Her segment with Scott Brown was damn good.

Posted by: Soothsayer's twisted logic at February 25, 2011 07:26 AM (uFokq)

128 Millie is better than a Banta. You can ride them both but with Millie you don't have to cut her open with a lightsaber to stuff you frozen Jedi buddy inside.

Posted by: kidney at February 25, 2011 07:26 AM (3j6OS)

129

Slushop thanks to Slushop Industries, Ltd. Hong Kong/ New York/ Bangor

Bangor? Hell, I hardly know her!

Posted by: Dave in Texas at February 25, 2011 07:26 AM (WvXvd)

130

Bones, I'm bravely going where all mankind has gone.

Posted by: J. Tiberius Kirk at February 25, 2011 07:26 AM (KsKQ3)

131 Oooooo... hotsie totsie!

Posted by: Benjamin Franklin at February 25, 2011 07:26 AM (WvXvd)

132 £800? Back in my day, pussy was two for a nickel.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff's Grandfather at February 25, 2011 07:27 AM (ypWHs)

133 Rumors are now swirling that Todd Palin had an affair with Millie, a 96 year old British whore.

Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 07:27 AM (YxGud)

134
Davis Cameron swears Millie is tighter than a mouse ear.

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at February 25, 2011 07:28 AM (ZHsNw)

135 This woman has lived by the mantra "drill, baby, drill!" for eons now. 

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at February 25, 2011 07:28 AM (9hSKh)

136 Posted by: Empire of Jeff's Grandfather at February 25, 2011 11:27 AM (ypWHs)

But you had to climb uphill, both ways, in snow, with no shoes. And you were thankful!

Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 07:29 AM (YxGud)

137 She grows psychedelic mushrooms up there.

Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 07:30 AM (YxGud)

138 **Achtung** incoming transmission from Moonbat One...

Posted by: Soothsayer's twisted logic at February 25, 2011 07:30 AM (uFokq)

139 Ot--we gots a dandy global Warming Event going here--wind is about 25mph, the snow is coming down at near 30 degree angle, and it's freakin HEAVY. FOTR, we're in upstate New York, Near Lake George.

Posted by: irongrampa at February 25, 2011 07:30 AM (ud5dN)

140 Little Batman would have to find the G-spot using echo-location.

Posted by: kidney at February 25, 2011 07:31 AM (3j6OS)

141 You guys are forgeting this is in England.  Since Sex in England amounts to abuse you can pretty much do it well at any age.

Posted by: Rocks at February 25, 2011 07:31 AM (Q1lie)

142 *** The epic fight put up by the protesters in Wisconsin has given us an opportunity. With so many people across the country inspired by the courage of the "cheddar rebellion," we now have a chance build a national movement for a new economy that actually works for everyone. On Saturday at noon, led by unions and the netroots, an enormous coalition of progressive groups are co-sponsoring rallies in all 50 state capitols and many other large cities. The rallies are a show of solidarity with the fights for workers' rights in Wisconsin, Ohio, Indiana and elsewhere. Tens of thousands of people have already signed up, and you can join them by clicking here. This is an existential fight for unions and the middle class, as Republicans push to make it illegal for workers to collectively negotiate wages and benefits with their employers. They want all workplaces to become dictatorships. Not only can we beat back this attempt to strip workers of their rights, but the energy we are tapping can move the political center of gravity away from Wall Street's black hole. The time to start making this happen is on Saturday at noon, in a town near you. Sign up to attend a rally, and be there for the birth of a new movement. In solidarity, Chris Bowers Campaign Director, Daily Kos

Posted by: Soothsayer's twisted logic at February 25, 2011 07:31 AM (uFokq)

143
Millie is Stuart Varney's great aunt.

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at February 25, 2011 07:32 AM (ZHsNw)

144 Cheddar Rebellion. Did you see that? Cheddar fucking Rebellion, they're calling it. And these are the people we're losing to at the polls...

Posted by: Soothsayer's twisted logic at February 25, 2011 07:33 AM (uFokq)

145 Her first John?

John, King of England.

Incidentally, John's nickname was Softsword. She was the cause.

Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 07:33 AM (YxGud)

146
Millie has beautiful teeth unlike most British subjects, and she credits her dental success to her protein diet.

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at February 25, 2011 07:34 AM (ZHsNw)

147 Millie has beautiful teeth unlike most British subjects, and she credits her dental success to her protein diet.

That and refuglarly brushing with penises.

Posted by: kidney at February 25, 2011 07:36 AM (3j6OS)

148 Anyone know anyone at Ft. Bragg? Usually when shit is about to happen all leaves are canceled. Kemp at February 25, 2011 10:41 AM (JpFM9) ----------------------------------------------------------- I was a Bragg sir.

Posted by: Rambo, John J. at February 25, 2011 07:36 AM (yQWNf)

149 regularly

Posted by: kidney at February 25, 2011 07:36 AM (3j6OS)

150 You know the Wendol's Cave in The Thirteenth Warrior?

Um, yeah.

Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 07:37 AM (YxGud)

151

Stiction

Posted by: garrett at February 25, 2011 07:37 AM (2qrPz)

152 This is an existential fight for unions and the middle class, as Republicans push to make it illegal for workers to collectively negotiate wages and benefits with their employers. taxpaying friends and neighbors.

Fixed it for Kos.

Posted by: Ian S. at February 25, 2011 07:37 AM (p05LM)

153 She's had more seaman than the Royal Navy.

Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 07:38 AM (YxGud)

154 Good God, after God Only Knows how many customers, her vajajay must look like something you swipe your credit card in. Come to think of it, that might actually come in handy in her line of work...

Posted by: David Brooks at February 25, 2011 07:38 AM (tJjm/)

155 Oh, and off, sock

Posted by: CoolCzech at February 25, 2011 07:39 AM (tJjm/)

156

 The goggles...they do nothing!!!

so full of win. Simpsons quotes are number 1 in my book

Posted by: Ben at February 25, 2011 07:41 AM (wuv1c)

157 I bet she's hotter than Lady Gaga.

Posted by: Tattoo De Plane at February 25, 2011 07:41 AM (mHQ7T)

158 What are they rebelling against? the ability of the people paying taxes to determine how much taxes they will pay?

It's the Cheddar Rebellion because we're cheesy.

Posted by: Rocks at February 25, 2011 07:41 AM (Q1lie)

159 124 Millie does make 50,000 pounds a year but not because her clients pay her. They just agree to let her keep any valuables that may fall in. Like sports cars. Posted by: kidney at February 25, 2011 11:23 AM (3j6OS) It's all hush money...

Posted by: Nighthawk at February 25, 2011 07:42 AM (RSqz2)

160 You little people, ragging on my long-time mistress; just jealousy, that's all it is. Jealousy. Also, I have the President of the United States standing on my front lawn as I speak, wearing a jockey cap and holding a lantern. When's the last time that happened to you, peasant?

Posted by: George Soros at February 25, 2011 07:42 AM (2PTT7)

161 I bet she's hotter than Lady Gaga.

Posted by: Tattoo De Plane at February 25, 2011 11:41 AM (mHQ7T)

They call her Lady Gagless. With as many men she's had, it takes a California Redwood to make her gag.

Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 07:43 AM (YxGud)

162 Is it clear to everybody that the spelunker is an ewok?

Posted by: lauraw at February 25, 2011 07:44 AM (my0DZ)

163

96 eh?

I'd wear that bitch out. 

Posted by: Shoppy at February 25, 2011 07:44 AM (JpBHP)

164 53 I wouldn't fuck her with Abe Vigoda's dick.

Posted by: Dang at February 25, 2011 10:51 AM (TXKVh)

Dick?  I still have a dick? WTF, is that what keeps filling up my depends?


Posted by: Abe at February 25, 2011 07:46 AM (vSiVD)

165

I'd wear that bitch out. 

Posted by: Shoppy at February 25, 2011 11:44 AM (JpBHP)

Won't take much, just take her oxygen tank and walker away.

Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 07:46 AM (YxGud)

166 Gotta love that spelunker picture. Fitting.

Posted by: Berserker at February 25, 2011 07:47 AM (gWHrG)

167 Her cooter has to be as rough as the friction strip on a book of matches.

Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 07:48 AM (YxGud)

Posted by: IRON MAIDEN at February 25, 2011 07:49 AM (2qrPz)

169 Notice how the Left/Media were quick to label all of the counter-protesters Tea Party people. This was a smart move by the Left. Mainly because it vilifies a group of people. Now imagine the perception if the counter-protestors were referred to as... Tax Payers. "Thousand of Tax Payers rallied at the capitol today to oppose the public employees union."

Posted by: Soothsayer's twisted logic at February 25, 2011 07:49 AM (uFokq)

170 I just threw up in my mouth - and not just a little.

Posted by: Roadking at February 25, 2011 07:50 AM (hempZ)

171

Is it clear to everybody that the spelunker is an ewok?

Clear as the hump on your back.

Posted by: garrett at February 25, 2011 07:51 AM (2qrPz)

172 Is it clear to everybody that the spelunker is an ewok? ------ Nice touch, laura.

Posted by: MJ at February 25, 2011 07:51 AM (BKOsZ)

173 Vienna sausage down a football stadium.

Posted by: joncelli at February 25, 2011 07:54 AM (RD7QR)

174 I'd hit it, but the Obama administration denied my Oil Exploration permit.

Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 07:55 AM (YxGud)

175

"her toothless mouth"

And therein lies the secret of her longevity.  That, and the fact that she swallows every drop.

Posted by: Sharkman at February 25, 2011 07:55 AM (sqNU7)

176 OK, just wanted to be sure. Thanks guys for all the kind remarks and revolting jokes. You filthy swine made my Friday.

Posted by: lauraw at February 25, 2011 07:56 AM (my0DZ)

177  Fun yes, but it's like shucking an oyster before you can get started...

Posted by: Uncle Salty at February 25, 2011 07:58 AM (Zi+FQ)

178

OT

So I'm wondering if you fine folks would find it in good taste to join the teachers in my small wisconsin town the next time they protest, while holding a sign that says: I support a woman's right to choose..... To not join a union?

Is this a properly civil way to engage my fellow Wisconsinites in dialogue, or will they really take it the wrong way?

Posted by: shortbu5 at February 25, 2011 07:58 AM (AxexV)

179

Millie has serviced more Johnsons than a PayDay Loan branch in Newark, NJ.

Posted by: Shoppy at February 25, 2011 07:59 AM (Y227l)

180 It started with the MILFs and that was great. Then you had your GILFs, because there's always some asshole that takes things one step too far. I'm just afraid that this attempt to build GGILF/GGGILF momentum will make a mockery of the entire aging skank movement.

Posted by: Ted Kennedy's Gristle Encased Head at February 25, 2011 08:02 AM (+lsX1)

181 Looks like there could still be something to look forward to at 90. Just don't look at.

Posted by: sTevo at February 25, 2011 08:02 AM (zPfoL)

182 You could hit it. But wouldn't you rather take a belt sander to your Johnson? It feels the same and you don't pay for it.

Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 08:04 AM (YxGud)

183 And thanking lauraw for brightening my day!

Posted by: sTevo at February 25, 2011 08:07 AM (RD/KP)

184 The blog software won't allow me to post it, but Charlie Sheen is the gift that keeps on giving. He's texting reporters with more attacks on Lorre and stating that he will show up on set next week.

Posted by: moi at February 25, 2011 08:11 AM (Ez4Ql)

185 Seeing the Ewok better every refresh gets a fresh laugh.

Posted by: Dave at February 25, 2011 08:15 AM (6OwZc)

186 We've closed  a lot of holes, but this one is out of our league.

Posted by: BP spokesman at February 25, 2011 08:24 AM (rrkE9)

187 In this case, the "man in the boat" is really a man in a boat.

Posted by: flashbazzbo, s.e. at February 25, 2011 08:26 AM (i0rVe)

188 Gandalf is stationed halfway in.

Posted by: nickless at February 25, 2011 08:26 AM (MMC8r)

189 Posted by: nickless at February 25, 2011 12:26 PM (MMC8r)

Not with 10,000 men could you do this.

Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 08:28 AM (YxGud)

190 Well, look at the bright side: at that age, you wouldn't have to worry about Red Wings
 
{o}

Posted by: CoolCzech at February 25, 2011 08:33 AM (tJjm/)

191 She's had more meat than an Omaha packing plant.

Posted by: rdbrewer at February 25, 2011 08:57 AM (lXCHg)

192 She's smoked more sausage than Hickory Farms.

Posted by: rdbrewer at February 25, 2011 08:58 AM (lXCHg)

193 189 In this case, the "man in the boat" is really a man in a boat.

HAAAA HA HA HAAA
*applause*

Posted by: lauraw at February 25, 2011 08:59 AM (my0DZ)

194 She's spanked more monkeys than a seasoned NIMH researcher.

Posted by: rdbrewer at February 25, 2011 09:01 AM (lXCHg)

195 Bear Grylls recently did a Man vs Wild episode in there.

Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 09:07 AM (YxGud)

196 The guys in the photograph aren't customers - they're paramedics rescuing a customer who forgot to strap a two-by-four to his ass before diving in. The guy climbing out said he could hear voices but is asking for more lights, oxygen and a longer rappelling rope.

Posted by: Dr. Deano at February 25, 2011 09:08 AM (DRn52)

197 This woman has spent the better part of a century on her back thinking of England, and look what's happened to the UK in that time.

For this reason all American women should be reminded of the merits of "riding the bull" while thinking about rodeo, and it should follow that the US will end up on top.
Onward and upward Patriots!

Such transcendent truths aren't available in any Poly Sci course, but there it is.

Posted by: ontherocks at February 25, 2011 09:13 AM (HBqDo)

198

Thanks for the laughs!

On a serious note, though, think about it - how many "ladies" do you think REALLY want to give some 75-to-90+-year-old widower a happy ending? 

THAT'S why she's making money hand over fist....

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX at February 25, 2011 09:14 AM (ZTtkE)

199 "It's just your echo, Sloth!"

Posted by: Chunk at February 25, 2011 09:17 AM (QxGmu)

200 Gandalf is stationed halfway in.

Posted by: nickless

 

Fly you fools! To the bridge of Khazad-dum!

Posted by: Mithrandir ( who wishes he had taken that left turn at Albequrque) at February 25, 2011 09:22 AM (R2fpr)

201 Gandalf is stationed halfway in.

Posted by: nickless

I must admit that the presence of a Balrog is unprecedented in my thrity years of private practice.

Posted by: Dr. Ross 'Squint' Delver (GYN) at February 25, 2011 09:24 AM (R2fpr)

202 I was wondering ... would Millie the Old Whore consider Mitch The Bitch Daniels to be a trollop or a hooker?  Or is Mitch a specialist in sadism?

Posted by: Henry Harold Humphries - you can call me 'H' at February 25, 2011 09:38 AM (Ikk5M)

203 Posted by: Holger at February 25, 2011 12:28 PM (YxGud)

No one has guarded those gates for a very long time!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at February 25, 2011 09:44 AM (LH6ir)

204

Maureen Dowd is off today.

Posted by: Roy at February 25, 2011 11:18 AM (VndSC)

205 This thread needs bumping on a friday evening.

Posted by: sTevo at February 25, 2011 11:41 AM (FzVlt)

206 It's so good to know when I'm 90+, I will still have to pay for it one why or another.

Posted by: Leatherneck at February 25, 2011 12:31 PM (hVt9h)

207 Aw right, now that'th dithguthtin.

Posted by: Leon Phelps, The Ladies Man at February 25, 2011 01:59 PM (s/vFz)

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