Ace of Spades HQ

January 24, 2011

Former Google CEO Eric Schmidt Looking for TV Gig
— rdbrewer

He is looking for a job at CNN. He has been working with Parker-Spitzer's executive producer on a new show.

A source told us, "Eric wants to be a talk-show host. He's been working with Liza to develop a show, but he has not yet been picked up by any network. . . . "Eric Schmidt has been looking for a TV job for over a year," said a CNN insider. "But the pilot he filmed with Liza was a complete disaster."

Remember his history of creepy, cavalier statements when faced with concerns about privacy? Reading the NY Post article, I see that I missed one. He said people concerned about pictures taken by Google Street View cameras "could just move."

I checked with the in-house Ace-o-Spades time travel agent and found some future quotes from Schmidt's new show at CNN:

Isn't that dress a bit tight, Secretary Clinton?
You don't have a case against the peeping tom. People in your building almost never shut their curtains. Especially those three women on the third floor.
Sometimes when I don't change my shirt for a few days it smells like bacon. How about yours?
Well, Mr. Krugman, perhaps if the New York Times wasn't a dreary, left-wing rag, run by an unqualified nepot, subscription numbers wouldn't be plummeting. Hmm?
Mr. Trumka, did anyone ever tell you that you look just like a hog? You look just like a hog, dude. Or like some sort of a caricature of a hog-man. Do you ever get that?
Mr. Zuckerman, do you like to fart at a board meetings? I sure did. Hah!

CNN should give him a shot. He couldn't do any worse than their current lineup.

Posted by: rdbrewer at 01:10 PM | Comments (45)
Post contains 296 words, total size 2 kb.

1 These are the 'droids you're looking for, Mr. S. Trooper.

Posted by: Eric Schmidt at January 24, 2011 01:15 PM (swuwV)

2 Politics is show biz for ugly people, not the other way 'round.

Posted by: arhooley, conflicted Californian at January 24, 2011 01:16 PM (7WEAj)

3 You really should watch what you say on the cell phone, Senator Murkowski. "Make it snow" sounds awful suspicious in July, wouldn't you agree?

Posted by: Eric Schmidt at January 24, 2011 01:16 PM (RD7QR)

4 He looks like a cross between Steve Forbes and Charles Nelson Reilly.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at January 24, 2011 01:16 PM (QMtmy)

5 I can hardly wait to hear him complain, if he gets a TV gig, about how his privacy has been compromised by the paparazzi.

Posted by: Otis Criblecoblis at January 24, 2011 01:17 PM (fjoLg)

6 I feel a fax coming in!

Posted by: Eric Schmidt at January 24, 2011 01:17 PM (FcR7P)

7 Mr. Assange, you think you have material to leak? I can barely muster a snicker at that.

Posted by: Eric Schmidt at January 24, 2011 01:17 PM (swuwV)

8 fuckin google you guys remember the '90's?

Posted by: Soothsay-you Soothsay-me at January 24, 2011 01:18 PM (uFokq)

9 He looks like a cross between Steve Forbes and Charles Nelson Reilly.

Shh. He's the Secret Square.

Posted by: toby928™ at January 24, 2011 01:19 PM (S5YRY)

10 "...wants to be a?" Based on what? I wanna be the replacement bassist for the Rolling Stones; dare I say I actually have the chops, as opposed to mr potato face tv head. It's nice to want.

Posted by: BuddyPC at January 24, 2011 01:20 PM (nSkOL)

11 You know, Senator, I guess there's not much point in asking you any questions. I mean, what can you say that I don't already know? So let's just start the bidding for your dossier.

Posted by: Eric Schmidt at January 24, 2011 01:21 PM (swuwV)

He has been working with Parker-Spitzer's executive producer on a new show.

He's going to put on a wig and replace Parker.

Few will notice; none will complain.

Posted by: Mama AJ at January 24, 2011 01:21 PM (XdlcF)

13
Isn't that dress a bit tight, Secretary Clinton?

Brain Bleach, I need Brain Bleach.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 24, 2011 01:23 PM (TAjuH)

14 It will be a Re-elect Obama show called Hoper and Changerer

Posted by: some dude at January 24, 2011 01:23 PM (RSfE/)

15 So, Oprah, I see you have developed cancer. Oh, I'm sorry. Your doctor will be notifying you of that next week. Forget I said anything. My bad.

Posted by: Eric Schmidt at January 24, 2011 01:25 PM (swuwV)

16 Blogging is almost as much about timing is as it's about content.

Posted by: Soothsay-you Soothsay-me at January 24, 2011 01:26 PM (uFokq)

17 If the Nazis would have had Eric Schmidt's Google, Anne Frank wouldn't have made it a week.

Posted by: nickless at January 24, 2011 01:27 PM (MMC8r)

18 You have pretty feet.

Posted by: Rex Ryan at January 24, 2011 01:29 PM (uFokq)

19 Today's show features a discussion on improper Google search words with Eric Holder.

Eric.. welcome. So, what exactly were you looking for when googling "EWOK Bungholes"?

Posted by: Eric Schmidt at January 24, 2011 01:29 PM (f9c2L)

20 Can I, um, smell 'em?

Posted by: Rex Ryan at January 24, 2011 01:29 PM (uFokq)

21 Put him on one of those Japanese game shows where the contestants have to negotiate one of those weird obstacle courses and enjoy a good laugh when he slips, slams his face into a padded pillar and then falls into the water below.

Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at January 24, 2011 01:31 PM (nD3Pg)

22 As long as they don't replace Robin Meade in the morning!

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at January 24, 2011 01:31 PM (f9c2L)

23 Hey Michelle, what shoe size is that, like a 14? I know you can get really big sizes in drag queen stores.

Posted by: dagny at January 24, 2011 01:32 PM (A7E3U)

24 But enough about you, Mr. Gates. Let's talk about me.

Posted by: Eric Schmidt at January 24, 2011 01:33 PM (swuwV)

25 Uh, Hillary doesn't wear dresses (cankle issue)

Posted by: dagny at January 24, 2011 01:33 PM (A7E3U)

26 Good evening, Everyone. Tonight on CNN, we're going to try something new. Tonight, we're going to bring our cameras "into the field" and investigate how media intrudes on our lives. We'll start first with Lincoln High School's showers where we understand the cheerleaders just wrapped up squad practice and ready themselves for home. Tomorrow morning, we'll be casing Kinder Kids Educenter to observe the future leaders of America. Stay tuned for the evening show to see this exciting segment.

Posted by: Eric Schmidt at January 24, 2011 01:46 PM (swuwV)

27 Coming up next on CNN, the names and social security numbers for those people who still refuse to watch my show...

Posted by: Eric Schmidt at January 24, 2011 01:47 PM (MMC8r)

28 What, you'd prefer that I run for Senate?

Posted by: Eric Schmidt at January 24, 2011 01:48 PM (MMC8r)

29 I like the way your breasts look.

Posted by: Eric Schmidt at January 24, 2011 01:48 PM (33MX5)

30
You didn't wash your hands after using the bathroom. That's unsanitary.

Let's not talk about how you organize your underwear drawer.

Posted by: Eric Schmidt at January 24, 2011 01:55 PM (TAjuH)

31 Let's be fair, morons.

This guy is just as equipped for serious journalism as Anderson Cooper and Eliot Spitzer.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at January 24, 2011 01:57 PM (GZITd)

32 Barack Obama was a straight C A student.

Posted by: Eric Schmidt at January 24, 2011 01:57 PM (MMC8r)

Representative Noem, you know that part of your backyard where you like to sunbathe naked? So do I.

Posted by: Eric Schmidt at January 24, 2011 02:03 PM (33MX5)

34 Eric Schmidt was an informal advisor to the Barack Obama presidential campaign and began campaigning the week of October 19, 2008, on behalf of the candidate. He had been mentioned as a possible candidate for the new Chief Technology Officer position which Obama created in his administration. After Obama won, Eric Schmidt was a member of President Obama's transition advisory board. He has since become a new member of the President's Council of Advisors on Science and Technology PCAST.

Someone with close ties to a Democratic administration working on CNN? Sounds crazy -- but maybe just crazy enough to work.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at January 24, 2011 02:09 PM (x1dWw)

35 Just two days after the election, a familiar face popped up in the House Republican transition office.

Google CEO Eric Schmidt was making a visit, and had some suggestions for Oregon Republican Rep. Greg Walden, the chair of the transition committee, on how to make Congress more efficient through technology.

They didnÂ’t talk policy or politics in the partyÂ’s Capitol office, Walden told POLITICO, but rather how Google can help Congress work better. Particularly, Walden said, Schmidt discussed a concept for real-time edits to of legislation, a move that would cut printing costs. Google didnÂ’t respond to a request for comment Sunday.

Politico 11/15/10

Ah -- so he's a complete rat that will pivot on his back legs and run to whoever has the cheese. He'll be perfect for TV.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at January 24, 2011 02:15 PM (x1dWw)

36 a job? he wants a job? His "go one get out of here now" package is rumored at what a 100 million and that is not counting the sale of his stock and he wants a job.

This is a big huge joke, right?

Ah -- so he's a complete rat that will pivot on his back legs and run to whoever has the cheese. He'll be perfect for TV.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at January 24, 2011 06:15 PM (x1dWw)

that description reminds me of someone ....oh wait, yeah some guy named karl?

Posted by: curious at January 24, 2011 02:25 PM (p302b)

37 I hate to say it, but those quotes could actually make for fun television. Wouldn't you love to hear what he'd have to say about Helen Thomas?

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 24, 2011 02:28 PM (tJjm/)

38 Oh joy another leftist totalitarian wants to get involved in the media. At this point it would just be easier to count media personalities who weren't leftist totalitarians.. and that is like what, 3 or 4?

Posted by: Drew in Mo at January 24, 2011 02:29 PM (ltqwL)

39 Isn't it about time you began to wrap yourself into a cocoon and prepare for your transformation into a giant cockroach, hmmmm, Ms. Thomas? It could only be an improvement!

Posted by: Eric Schmidt at January 24, 2011 02:32 PM (tJjm/)

Did the pitch meeting go something like this:

Q: What's the target demographic?

A: Fellow Asperger's personalities.

Posted by: somebody else, not me at January 24, 2011 02:34 PM (7EV/g)

41 @31: Hey, hey! Let's be fair! Anderson Cooper's Mom is Gloria Vanderbilt, after all!

Posted by: Eric Schmidt at January 24, 2011 02:38 PM (tJjm/)

42 Isn't this nozzle worth $60 billion? Can't he just buy a television station or something? He'll be like William Randolph Hearst. Asshole.

Posted by: Fresh Air at January 24, 2011 02:41 PM (QHHJf)

43 Off sock!

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 24, 2011 02:46 PM (tJjm/)

44 42 Isn't this nozzle worth $60 billion? Can't he just buy a television station or something? He'll be like William Randolph Hearst.

Asshole.

Posted by: Fresh Air at January 24, 2011 06:41 PM (QHHJf)

Yeah, shouldn't he be going to another CEO job or something? CNN will pay him bupkis (and will lose a ton on him in the process).

Posted by: Nancy Pelosi at January 24, 2011 02:57 PM (BvBKY)

45
Are you going to Scarborough Fair? Parsley sage rosemary and thyme. Remember me to one who lives there. She once was a true love of mine. Tell her to make me a cambric shirt. Parsley sage rosemary and thyme. Without no seams nor needle work. Then she will be a true love of mine. On the side of hill in the deep forest green, Tracing of sparrow on snow crested brown. Blankets and bed clothers the child of maintain Sleeps unaware of the clarion call. Tell her to find me an acre of land. Parsley sage rosemary and thyme. Between the salt water and the sea strand, Then she will be a true love of mine. On the side of hill a sprinkling of leaves Washes the grave with slivery tears. A soldier cleans and polishes a gun. Sleeps unaware of the clarion call. Tell her to reap it with a sickle of leather.moncler jacken|moncler shop|

Posted by: Denise at January 24, 2011 04:21 PM (xOYue)

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