Ace of Spades HQ

April 01, 2011

Google To Introduce "Gmail Motion"
— Ace

Any progress realized in language function only optimizes leftbrain stimulation.

Coming to Google Docs, too!

Posted by: Ace at 10:50 AM | Comments (157)
Post contains 25 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I'm really lame at that, huh?

Posted by: ace at April 01, 2011 10:52 AM (nj1bB)

2 Esperanto?

Posted by: toby928™ at April 01, 2011 10:53 AM (GTbGH)

This is Google's best April Fool's Day presentation yet.

You have to check-out the splash page to see the "Google Docs" applications of this technology!

Posted by: Brian in BC at April 01, 2011 10:53 AM (+rU6e)

4 So, what does it do when I jerk off?

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at April 01, 2011 10:53 AM (p+mzQ)

5 April Fools kids.

Posted by: mpfs, Donate to MS Walk. Yeah I'm being a moron whore about it at April 01, 2011 10:53 AM (iYbLN)

6 H.R. 1255 aka the Shutdown Prevention Act of 2011 passed 221- 202. The vote was close due to debate over constitutionality and enforcement issues.

Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at April 01, 2011 10:55 AM (UO6+e)

7 So, what does it do when I jerk off?
Posted by: Clutch Cargo

Do use all a favor and stop clutching your cargo. You'll go blind.

Posted by: mpfs, Donate to MS Walk. Yeah I'm being a moron whore about it at April 01, 2011 10:55 AM (iYbLN)

8 Wonder what motions will be utilized for curse words and ALL CAPS.

It is a completely superfluous function. Also gets rid of customization.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at April 01, 2011 10:55 AM (9hSKh)

9 What happens if you flip it off ?

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at April 01, 2011 10:56 AM (npr0X)

10 This is an April Fool's joke, right? If it isn't it has to be the stupidist product release I have seen since New Coke.

Posted by: Vic at April 01, 2011 10:56 AM (M9Ie6)

11 Do use all a favor and stop clutching your cargo. You'll go blind.

If I can't have hair on my scalp, the palm's will do.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at April 01, 2011 10:56 AM (p+mzQ)

12 This will be a big hit with Italians.

Posted by: Dr Spank at April 01, 2011 10:57 AM (4ZxEW)

13 I am the only person who finds april fool's jokes tiresome?

Hey, you kids, get off my lawn!

Posted by: cranky-d at April 01, 2011 10:57 AM (s4nd0)

14 And now ace will present a video of interpretive dance, to make up for this lame post.

Posted by: MetaThought at April 01, 2011 10:58 AM (ivYj5)

15 What'll happen if people have their gmail open while they are doing that webcam stripping thing?

/Hilarity might not ensue. Seriously, is Google trying to double-down on the stupid because of their Buzz debacle?

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at April 01, 2011 10:58 AM (9hSKh)

16 Just in case you still aren't sure this was an April Fools joke: http://bit.ly/ezFfDZ

Posted by: Chris R at April 01, 2011 10:58 AM (QiNmA)

17 Posted by: Clutch Cargo at April 01, 2011 02:53 PM (p+mzQ)

Fucking pervert.

(That was my first thought too.)

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at April 01, 2011 10:59 AM (LH6ir)

18 As Homer Simpson once said, "It's good ... but it's not great."

Posted by: MaxMBJ at April 01, 2011 10:59 AM (6SIms)

Bwhaha--so what would happen when one holds up their middle finger?

I'm sure if this wasn't a joke, the Kinect team at Microsoft would be getting their panties in a knot.

Posted by: runningrn at April 01, 2011 10:59 AM (ihSHD)

What happens if you flip it off ?

Exactly my thought!

Posted by: runningrn at April 01, 2011 11:00 AM (ihSHD)

21 What happens if you flip it off ?

Interesting you should ask that.
Of course you will be tracked down by google earth and the google execution squad will kick down your door and google execute you.

Don't be evilÂ™

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at April 01, 2011 11:00 AM (p+mzQ)

22 The last two years of the bumbling, blowhard new-age socialist cocksucker has obviously destroyed what little sense of humor you morons once had.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at April 01, 2011 11:01 AM (LH6ir)

23 The April Fool stuff gets more pathetic every year.

Posted by: Rocks at April 01, 2011 11:01 AM (Q1lie)

Posted by: mpfs, Donate to MS Walk. Yeah I'm being a moron whore about it at April 01,

Our hospital has a team: "The Smyelin Striders".

Posted by: runningrn at April 01, 2011 11:02 AM (ihSHD)

25 That douche is a product manager? Google is doomed!

Posted by: Scraping the Couric off my shoes at April 01, 2011 11:02 AM (F/4zf)

26 So, was yesterday's news from Google, that they would have an app to give the user the whole panel of personal info on a person, using face-recognition software, provided that person being scanned has OK'd the release of info?

Or was that one a pre-April-fools thing?

Makes me think of the novel Super Sad True Love Story, in which everyone carries, by federal mandate, a supersmartphone kind of a thing, called an apparat (umlauts over all the a's) and when you aim its lens (called "nozzle" in the book) at someone, you get, among other things, their credit score, and - wait for this - their "fuckability" index.

Posted by: HackedTheHubble&Looking@U at April 01, 2011 11:02 AM (4sQwu)

27 Remember folks don't believe anything you hear about today. And yes I find most April fools jokes tiresome because they're never all that funny or clever.

Posted by: buzzion at April 01, 2011 11:02 AM (oVQFe)

28 23 The April Fool stuff gets more pathetic every year.

Pretty much. I get that this is a joke, but it doesn't mean that some idiots at Google haven't thought something similar up.

22 The last two years of the bumbling, blowhard new-age socialist cocksucker has obviously destroyed what little sense of humor you morons once had.

Indeed. It's hard to laugh as your home, and the world, burns.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at April 01, 2011 11:03 AM (9hSKh)

29 I would laugh more if Google would spend more time ironing-out the kinks in GMail.

Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at April 01, 2011 11:03 AM (UO6+e)

30 What we seem to have here,,,,,,,,,,,,, is a failure,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, to communicate.

Posted by: humphreyrobot at April 01, 2011 11:04 AM (EiH7n)

31
If I can't have hair on my scalp, the palm's will do.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo

You must have to braid the hand hair by now.

Posted by: mpfs, Donate to MS Walk. Yeah I'm being a moron whore about it at April 01, 2011 11:04 AM (iYbLN)

32 OT: Roll call for Shutdown Prevention Act. Rep. Campbell now abstains from voting more than Ron Paul.

Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at April 01, 2011 11:05 AM (UO6+e)

33 mpfs, congratulations on kicking some funding goal ass. Kudos to everybody who (and will in the near future) donated!

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at April 01, 2011 11:05 AM (9hSKh)

34 April fuckin fools, right?

You CAN'T be Serious!?!

Posted by: © Sponge at April 01, 2011 11:06 AM (UK9cE)

35
Take ten while I communicate with Lorraine through the ever popular Japanese bukkake, also known as cum sharking!

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at April 01, 2011 11:06 AM (ZHsNw)

Our hospital has a team: "The Smyelin Striders".

Posted by: runningrn

Outstanding. I bet you do the run not the walk. Let me know when you have one and I will donate!

Posted by: mpfs, Donate to MS Walk. Yeah I'm being a moron whore about it at April 01, 2011 11:06 AM (iYbLN)

37 Yes, the windmills blowing radiation away thing is a prank. The atmosphere contains a massive amount of air, and little windmills can't do squat to change its direction.

Posted by: cranky-d at April 01, 2011 11:07 AM (s4nd0)

38 You must have to braid the hand hair by now.

Actually it's hard - kind of like nailing yourself to a cross - you can't get that last nail in.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at April 01, 2011 11:07 AM (p+mzQ)

39 Pretty dang funny.

"I need a steakhouse dinner."

Posted by: Dang at April 01, 2011 11:07 AM (TXKVh)

40
Yeah, I understand. April Fools, ha ha.

But remember how we were bitching about grammar and communication on ONT last night?

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 01, 2011 11:08 AM (9daa6)

41 Kratos,

I am amazed and so grateful. I can't believe the response in just 5 days. I have a lot of thank you cards to write out. E-mail is impersonal for this type of thank you.

Mom is okay, not great but hanging in there.

Posted by: mpfs, Donate to MS Walk. Yeah I'm being a moron whore about it at April 01, 2011 11:08 AM (iYbLN)

All hail Robin Regifter, a true prophet. I must be an idiot because that's starting to creep me out.

Posted by: Beagle at April 01, 2011 11:10 AM (sOtz/)

43 Thank god I can now send email, that I can't read.

Will they build a motion reader for all us that can't read?

Does this come with free gas?

I knew if I helped Obama he'd help me!

Posted by: Peggy Joseph at April 01, 2011 11:11 AM (JpFM9)

44 I heard they are going to start doing April Fool's Day only in leap years since everybody is always on guard.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at April 01, 2011 11:11 AM (Z1jiu)

45 <<<<21 What happens if you flip it off ? Interesting you should ask that. Of course you will be tracked down by google earth and the google execution squad will kick down your door and google execute you. Don't be evilÂ™ >>>>> Google is Abstergo

Posted by: buzzion at April 01, 2011 11:12 AM (oVQFe)

46 All hail Robin Regifter, a true prophet. I must be an idiot because that's starting to creep me out. I was told there would be no math on this blog . ......and I agree , creepy .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at April 01, 2011 11:14 AM (npr0X)

47 4/1 "progress realized in language function"

Same to you and more the fool.

Posted by: by any other name at April 01, 2011 11:14 AM (H+LJc)

48 Hey google here's a motion for ya:

,,|,,

Posted by: Unclefacts Luxury-Yacht at April 01, 2011 11:15 AM (6IReR)

49
What happens when I light my fart?

Posted by: Ed Anger at April 01, 2011 11:16 AM (7+pP9)

50 Well mpfs, you know that despite our reputations for dipping sensitive body parts into food products to celebrate political victories (among other bizzare proclivities, heh) we're a generous and kind bunch here.

We'll continue to keep you and your mom in our thoughts and prayers.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at April 01, 2011 11:16 AM (9hSKh)

51 We pulled off a pretty good April Fools gag back in college. We switched our radio format from alternative to easy listening (we were the only alt station in the city) and locked out the hipster doofus deejays. Before long there was a candlelight vigil and protests. Kept it going a full 24 hours before the idiots figured out what day it was. The humorless dipshits were moaning and crying like Wisconsin union members.

Posted by: JWF at April 01, 2011 11:17 AM (1l37M)

52 prayers for your mom and your family MPFS

Posted by: Unclefacts Luxury-Yacht at April 01, 2011 11:17 AM (6IReR)

53 Big kiss Kratos....

Posted by: mpfs, Donate to MS Walk. Yeah I'm being a moron whore about it at April 01, 2011 11:18 AM (iYbLN)

54 All this talk of 'April Fools' day and being a little tired of it got me to thinkin'...... Maybe we should move April Fools day to sometime in, say, July. Just imagine the tomfoolery and hi-jinx we could have if only the select few of us knew that 'April Fools' day was now on July 16th! HAHAHAHAHA. Almost as funny as that Indian joke (7-11 kind) that I heard just the other day.

Posted by: Professor J Biden at April 01, 2011 11:18 AM (yQWNf)

55 What will Motion interpret the bleached anus as?

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at April 01, 2011 11:18 AM (9hSKh)

56 Another big kiss to Unclefacts.

Posted by: mpfs, Donate to MS Walk. Yeah I'm being a moron whore about it at April 01, 2011 11:18 AM (iYbLN)

57 How will interpret the plant Uranus??

Posted by: mpfs, Donate to MS Walk. Yeah I'm being a moron whore about it at April 01, 2011 11:19 AM (iYbLN)

58 plant = planet

I'm a douchespeller.

Posted by: mpfs, Donate to MS Walk. Yeah I'm being a moron whore about it at April 01, 2011 11:19 AM (iYbLN)

Maybe Robintarianism is too much. The chart changes and you always get a certain set of numbers. Clever.

Posted by: Beagle at April 01, 2011 11:21 AM (sOtz/)

60 <<<52 We pulled off a pretty good April Fools gag back in college. We switched our radio format from alternative to easy listening (we were the only alt station in the city) and locked out the hipster doofus deejays. Before long there was a candlelight vigil and protests. Kept it going a full 24 hours before the idiots figured out what day it was. The humorless dipshits were moaning and crying like Wisconsin union members. >>> See now that's a clever April fools joke. It's believable for a station to switch over and no one ever hear notices of it happening

Posted by: buzzion at April 01, 2011 11:21 AM (oVQFe)

61 O/T: ABC radio news just played a clip of the president criticizing the republicans for stalling his recession recovery if they shut down the government.

so now they will be blamed for an already stalling "recovery"

Posted by: curious at April 01, 2011 11:22 AM (k1rwm)

Kinetic Google Activity. It makes Brian Dennehy very sad.

But it make Robert Loggia very angry. Can't you picture it?

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 01, 2011 11:22 AM (QMtmy)

The demonstrater guy in the video looks like he was sprung from Devil's Island.

Or maybe they borrowed him from Microsoft.

Posted by: Cicero at April 01, 2011 11:25 AM (QKKT0)

64 What's the best way to express "biting a vegetable stick"?

Posted by: Arnold in Rio at April 01, 2011 11:26 AM (swuwV)

65 I knew it was a April Fool's joke when I saw the guy doing the motions.. lol. Looked like someone who graduated from the Ministry of Silly Walks!

http://tli.tl/IrcSrn

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at April 01, 2011 11:26 AM (f9c2L)

66
Almost as funny as that Indian joke (7-11 kind) that I heard just the other day.

Posted by: Professor J Biden at April 01, 2011 03:18 PM (yQWNf)

Well Joe, how about this joke? Scrape the dot off a dot head and find a chit for a free 7-11?

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at April 01, 2011 11:27 AM (ZHsNw)

67 "See now that's a clever April fools joke. It's believable for a station to switch over and no one ever hear notices of it happening"

Worked like a charm. The "change" went into effect at 12:01 am on a Sunday and went 24 hours. I was in on it. At the time I was also working at the local newspaper and learned they were sending a reporter to cover the story. I made a call to the assignment editor and gently reminded her what day it was. Words to the effect of "Uh, are you really this fucking stupid?" or something like that.

This was 1985. Nowadays everyone plans these elaborate gags but nobody falls for anything. It's a complete waste of time.

Posted by: JWF at April 01, 2011 11:27 AM (1l37M)

68 I figured any idiot would know it's a gag when a college radio station is playing Neil Sedaka.

Posted by: JWF at April 01, 2011 11:29 AM (1l37M)

69 Didn't obama see The Book of Eli? The UN is like that small town, does Obama see himself as the brave loner carrying the book or as the town leader?

Posted by: humphreyrobot at April 01, 2011 11:31 AM (EiH7n)

70 GE Likely to Avoid Liability in Japan Nuke Crisis
As if that should stop Japan from suing GE.

A Japanese designed nuclear plant undamaged by the quake/tsunami yet closer to the epicenter is hosting refugees who appreciate the "electricity and clean toilets."

Posted by: by any other name at April 01, 2011 11:32 AM (H+LJc)

This was 1985. Nowadays everyone plans these elaborate gags but nobody falls for anything. It's a complete waste of time.

Posted by: JWF at April 01, 2011 03:27 PM (1l37M)

That's because its way too obvious. Everyone is alert for the pranks. And then they end up being things like this dumb shit from Google. This is their idea of a prank. Its so obvious that its a joke. Hell, now the best April Fool's prank you could pull is make a major real announcement today and no one will believe it. And they'll all be pissed at you for pulling their leg with joking about something they really want.

Posted by: buzzion at April 01, 2011 11:33 AM (oVQFe)

Not a joke.

Posted by: maddogg at April 01, 2011 11:40 AM (OlN4e)

73 I refuse to acknowledge google as relevant until they change their logo on Steak and a BJ Day.

Posted by: © Sponge at April 01, 2011 11:43 AM (UK9cE)

74 I figured any idiot would know it's a gag when a college radio station is playing Neil Sedaka. ------------------------------------------------------ What's wrong with Neil Sedaka? I find that his music makes me snap my fingers and tap my loafers while passing time on the rail to Wilmington.

Posted by: Professor J Biden at April 01, 2011 11:44 AM (yQWNf)

75 It was funny the other day when someone explained to me that the way their son differentiates between and American Indian and an Eastern Indian is by answering the question "Feather or Dot?"

It took me awhile to stop laughing.

Posted by: © Sponge at April 01, 2011 11:45 AM (UK9cE)

76 It sure is quite and stupid sarge.

Posted by: humphreyrobot at April 01, 2011 11:45 AM (EiH7n)

77 77 It was funny the other day when someone explained to me that the way their son differentiates between and American Indian and an Eastern Indian is by answering the question "Feather or Dot?"

It took me awhile to stop laughing.

Posted by: Â© Sponge at April 01, 2011 03:45 PM (UK9cE)

Slurpee or Teepee?

7/11 or Casino?

Posted by: buzzion at April 01, 2011 11:46 AM (oVQFe)

78 Slurpee or Teepee?

7/11 or Casino?

Posted by: buzzion at April 01, 2011 03:46 PM (oVQFe)

That's awesome. I knew you guys would have more.

Posted by: © Sponge at April 01, 2011 11:46 AM (UK9cE)

79 "Feather or Dot?"

Casino or Slushee?

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 01, 2011 11:47 AM (QMtmy)

80 Ah. The morons deliver.

It only took 4 responses to come up with a joke about not having to type with one hand anymore.

Posted by: Flounder at April 01, 2011 11:48 AM (Kkt/i)

81 That cracked me up. The dude doing the charades is great.

Posted by: rdbrewer at April 01, 2011 11:48 AM (drz6O)

82
Curry or Maize?

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 01, 2011 11:49 AM (QMtmy)

83 "Feather or Dot?"

It's more fun to have this conversation in public when you can't say it aloud. So you do hand gestures and it looks like you're calling baseball plays!

Posted by: laceyunderalls has Redleg fever at April 01, 2011 11:51 AM (pLTLS)

Not a joke.

Posted by: maddogg at April 01, 2011 03:40 PM (OlN4e)

Here and I thought you were posting something about the topic at hand.

Thanks for making me suspicious of everyone named "hakim Mohammud"......

Posted by: © Sponge at April 01, 2011 11:52 AM (UK9cE)

Did you hear the one about the footprints in the Jell-o?

No? Well, it goes like this:

How can you tell if you have an Ewok living in your fridge?

Posted by: Truman North at April 01, 2011 11:52 AM (8ay4x)

Teh Stupid has been around for a long time

So check out the top 100 April foolÂ’s jokes

#1: The Swiss Spaghetti Harvest

1957: The respected BBC news show Panorama announced that thanks to a very mild winter and the virtual elimination of the dreaded spaghetti weevil, Swiss farmers were enjoying a bumper spaghetti crop. It accompanied this announcement with footage of Swiss peasants pulling strands of spaghetti down from trees. Huge numbers of viewers were taken in. Many called the BBC wanting to know how they could grow their own spaghetti tree. To this the BBC diplomatically replied, "place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best."

Posted by: Vic at April 01, 2011 11:53 AM (M9Ie6)

Not a joke.

Posted by: maddogg at April 01, 2011 03:40 PM

I feel really bad for that Bledsoe family. I bet that kid is wondering where his fellow jihadists are now. No daring helicopter rescue? No raid? No targeted bombing of the prison? His conscience is going to dribble back in on him in the coming years, and he's going to live in hell.

Posted by: arhooley at April 01, 2011 11:56 AM (Wx4wv)

88 Its a Google April Fools prank. Gmail motion does not exist

it almost got me too

Posted by: Charleston at April 01, 2011 11:57 AM (8I2Nm)

89 Oh my God, Google is holding Steve Buscemi hostage...somebody call someone! They're making him do things...with email.

Posted by: TheJane at April 01, 2011 11:57 AM (9Blbi)

90 Boy, that had me going for about the first ten seconds.

I'd hope Google could come up with a better prank than this crap.

Posted by: looking closely at April 01, 2011 12:04 PM (PwGfd)

this was my favorite one.

http://tinyurl.com/2s6s5q

Posted by: robtr at April 01, 2011 12:05 PM (MtwBb)

Did you hear the one about the footprints scrotumprints in the Jell-o?

No? Well, it goes like this:

How can you tell if you have an Ewok living in your fridge?

Made it more morony

Posted by: Buzzsaw at April 01, 2011 12:07 PM (tf9Ne)

93
Although recent cold weather has hurt many food crops in North and South America, Europe expects bumper spaghetti production.

Posted by: Ed Anger at April 01, 2011 12:07 PM (7+pP9)

94
Posted by: Vic at April 01, 2011 03:53 PM (M9Ie6)

Dammit Vic -- you beat me.

Posted by: Ed Anger at April 01, 2011 12:10 PM (7+pP9)

95 This is Obama's April Fool's joke, right?

"I know thereÂ’s a lot going on in the world right now, so the news has been captured by the images of the Middle East and whatÂ’s happening, the tragedy to our friends in Japan, and IÂ’m focused on those issues," Obama told the audience at the facility outside of Washington, D.C. "But you should know that keeping the economy going and making sure jobs are available is the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning, itÂ’s the last thing I think about when I go to bed each night."

Posted by: momma at April 01, 2011 12:11 PM (penCf)

96 Have the socialist and joined ranks with ,,,,oh whoever? Acid heads and the Hash Eaters become compadres. If you drop don't kill and if you kill don't drop. This message brought to you by Mothers Against Bloopers, Murdering Unbelievers.

Posted by: humphreyrobot at April 01, 2011 12:11 PM (EiH7n)

97 It doesn't seem that far fetched for those California tools.

Posted by: dagny at April 01, 2011 12:12 PM (k52O3)

98 We would like to announce that google will no longer be storing information on users' search terms, preferences, browsing history, email, and will no longer cooperate with foreign governments in suppressing the free flow of information. Neither will we be giggling over the fact that we just can't wait to hold the clipboard, like a young George Soros, as we lead the Feds through your house and point out some interesting little bits they might have overlooked. April Fools, MOTHERFUCKERS.

Posted by: Google at April 01, 2011 12:15 PM (hlY6R)

99 scrotumprints in the Jell-o?

You do realize the government has been secretly creating a scrotum print database? Just like fingerprints each scrotum is unique.

Posted by: mpfs, Donate to MS Walk. Yeah, I'm being a moron whore about it at April 01, 2011 12:15 PM (iYbLN)

100 Sean Hannity really needs to stop talking-over Rep. Pence. The two of them agree on this issue they are addressing and there's no reason for Pence to be on the program if Hannity both asks and answers the question.

Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at April 01, 2011 12:15 PM (UO6+e)

101 Wasn't there some recent story that Gurgle paid about the same in taxes as GE? Like as in none, or 2% Then some prick says the the GOP plans to cut the budget will kill 70,000 children due to cuts in foreign aid/malaria programs. So, like, how much did this cost to make? How many kids in equatorial guinea ARE DYING so these corporate fat cats can engage in vanity humor using the money meant for THE CHILDREN!!! Outraged, outraged I am! That's it. Besides, I only do searches on Persian kitty

Posted by: Shecky at April 01, 2011 12:16 PM (DJBHO)

102 Miss Shecky, Gurgle is such a sexy word too.

Posted by: humphreyrobot at April 01, 2011 12:18 PM (EiH7n)

103 SCIENCE! (JAWA)

Study: Progressive Lawyers Are Dumber than Conservative Lawyers
A variety of commentators have suggested that there is positive correlation between the ideological valence of legal scholarship and the intellectual capacity of the author. In their most common form, these suggestions posit an association between "progressive" or "left leaning" political views, and "IQ" or "intelligence."....

The results do not confirm the standard hypothesis. Siegel-Spaeth ideology scores that indicate "progressive" ideology were negatively correlated with the Stanford-Benet estimates. The Pearson product-moment correlation coefficient (-0.61) provides strong evidence of a negative relationship between progressive ideology and intelligence.

Posted by: momma at April 01, 2011 12:19 PM (penCf)

104

This is Awesome!

Oh, waite - what?

Still Awesome!

Posted by: Fox Butterfield at April 01, 2011 12:20 PM (bLh03)

105 Can you believe what happened to Jeff Goldblum? Quite a tragic death.

Posted by: Not Quite The Oldest April Foolery in the World, But Still Pretty Old at April 01, 2011 12:20 PM (swuwV)

106 What could go wrong? ----------------------------------------------------- Hahahaha. God love 'em.

Posted by: Professor J Biden at April 01, 2011 12:21 PM (yQWNf)

107
How about something better than this lame-ass thread?

Here's a suggestion:

Libya rebel leader offers cease-fire

After a meeting with a U.N. envoy to Libya, opposition national council leader Mustafa Abdul-Jalil offers a cease-fire if Moammar Kadafi withdraws his forces from besieged cities and permits peaceful protests.

Reporting from Benghazi, LibyaÂ—
After refusing for weeks to negotiate with Libyan leader Moammar Kadafi, the top representative of the rebel movement here offered a cease-fire if Kadafi withdraws his forces from besieged Libyan cities and permits peaceful protests.

The offer came from Mustafa Abdul-Jalil, leader of the opposition national council, after meeting with a United Nations envoy to Liyba, Abdelilah Al-Khatib.
-------------

Me likes reading about Obama's epic failures.

Posted by: Ed Anger at April 01, 2011 12:22 PM (7+pP9)

108 no joke - just more bonage for California

Posted by: Chuckit at April 01, 2011 12:22 PM (4xpjk)

109

Posted by: Downscaled Upscale at April 01, 2011 04:19 PM (IhHdM)

Reconsider? Hell, all Iran probably needs to complete their small but threatening nuke arsenal is enough enriched uranium/plutonium.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at April 01, 2011 12:24 PM (muhWA)

110 Mike Pence, after hearing the press secretary parse words said "We're at war in Libya"

Posted by: curious at April 01, 2011 12:24 PM (k1rwm)

111 Empire of Jeff:

Please do a movie review of HOP. I went to see that stupid Gnomeo and Juliet movie, and when I get home what do I find? Your review of it. Fucker. You should have posted it the day before - because I agreed with everything you said about it.

Now you owe me.

I hate to sit through another looks funny but sucks movie.

Plus, our movie theater is sold out of tickets for all 7 showings of it today.

So, you have the weekend to see it and review it

That is all.

Love, pushy bitch momma

Posted by: momma at April 01, 2011 12:25 PM (penCf)

112 Can you believe what happened to Jeff Goldblum? Quite a tragic death.

I loved him in 'Gone With the Wind'

Posted by: momma at April 01, 2011 12:26 PM (penCf)

113 I always wanted to be a porn star named Crotch Cargo that or a blog's Systems Architect.

Posted by: george costanza at April 01, 2011 12:28 PM (/wCSE)

114 You do realize the government has been secretly creating a scrotum print database? Just like fingerprints each scrotum is unique.

So are the TSA screenings training or data collection?

Posted by: Buzzsaw at April 01, 2011 12:29 PM (tf9Ne)

115 Mustafa Abdul-Jalil: So, how 'bout that cease fire?

Kadafi: Sure. Why not?

[*peaceful protests commence and there is much rejoicing*]

Kadafi: FIRE!

Kadafi: What? It was April 1st. I thought they were making with the infidel joke!

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at April 01, 2011 12:29 PM (swuwV)

116

Here's another suggestion. A judge has allowed the civil suit to go forward in the Duke Lax case. Bend over Duke, Nifong, Durham police and Duke Health. You deserve it.

http://tiny.cc/b2cmc

Posted by: dagny at April 01, 2011 12:29 PM (k52O3)

117 Rumsfeld: Obama Misunderstands Situation in Libya

Posted by: momma at April 01, 2011 12:30 PM (penCf)

118 How can you tell if you have an Ewok living in your fridge?
It smells Wicket bad.

Posted by: andycanuck at April 01, 2011 12:31 PM (/wCSE)

119 116 Can you believe what happened to Jeff Goldblum? Quite a tragic death.

I loved him in 'Gone With the Wind'
Posted by: momma

I thought that was Brian Dennehy.

Posted by: mpfs, Donate to MS Walk. Yeah, I'm being a moron whore about it at April 01, 2011 12:31 PM (iYbLN)

120

FAA clears House with anti-union language

(from earlier this morning)

Roll call

Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at April 01, 2011 12:34 PM (UO6+e)

121

True pranking, like true love, doesn't need to happen on a certain day.

Posted by: USS Diversity at April 01, 2011 12:34 PM (gJNMj)

122 Can you believe what happened to Jeff Goldblum? Quite a tragic death.

I loved him in 'Gone With the Wind'

His performance in 'Team America' was better.

Posted by: Scraping the Couric off my shoes at April 01, 2011 12:34 PM (F/4zf)

123 Senate Democrats rule out 'ridiculous' EPA, NPR policy riders

Posted by: momma at April 01, 2011 12:38 PM (penCf)

124 108 Can you believe what happened to Jeff Goldblum? Quite a tragic death.

It was only really tragic for the pony that burned to death covered in those kerosine laced gerbil magazines in that horrible golf ball factory. Jeff was already a goner at that point.

I'm glad they saved most of the snakes.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at April 01, 2011 12:40 PM (p+mzQ)

125

The House narrowly passed legislation on Friday that calls for a House-passed FY 2011 spending bill to become law should the Senate fail to approve a spending bill by April 6. It would also prevent members of Congress from being paid during a government shutdown.

The bill, H.R. 1255, was approved over bitter Democratic opposition in a 221-202 vote in which no Democrats supported it, and 15 Republicans opposed it.

Posted by: momma at April 01, 2011 12:41 PM (penCf)

126 Wow, the uninformed lib on hannity is an idiot. He wants to bring it back to bush and iraq and hannity isn't letting him. when told the president said k daffy has to be gone the guy completely ignored this and then denied it was said.

It is going to be really embarrassing for BO when k daffy is still sitting on his little libyan throne.

Posted by: curious at April 01, 2011 12:42 PM (k1rwm)

127 Sorry, momma, but no can do. Wife took the Master Race to see that today while I was at work. I do have a positive DVD review to post, however. Predators. That movie was so badass that on the way out of the theater my cock punched a crippled man. I got home and discovered a thick growth of chest hair. On my BALLS.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at April 01, 2011 12:44 PM (hlY6R)

128 Ace has a new Palin post up, God help us.

Posted by: Dr Spank at April 01, 2011 12:46 PM (4ZxEW)

129 Predators. That movie was so badass that on the way out of the theater my cock punched a crippled man. I got home and discovered a thick growth of chest hair.

On my BALLS.
Empire of Jeff

Just so you know, we have your scrotum imprint on file. We are watching you.

Posted by: US Federal Scrotum Imprinter at April 01, 2011 12:47 PM (iYbLN)

130 BREAKING NEWS, Clutch Cargo arrested for sodomizing Paddlefoot.

Posted by: oldsailor's poet at April 01, 2011 12:49 PM (cDRYC)

131

129 The House narrowly passed legislation on Friday that calls for a House-passed FY 2011 spending bill to become law should the Senate fail to approve a spending bill by April 6. It would also prevent members of Congress from being paid during a government shutdown...

Terrific fight over that one due to consitutional and enforcement issues. My R rep (a former judge) voted no, likely because of the deem-and-pass issue. But I think the freshman sponsor did a fairly good job of explaining why it was constitutional as a trigger mechanism and that it had a precedent. My only question is that, since this is supposed to be trigger, there will be a problem if there is no agreement by the 8th. Therefore, what is the House Parliamentarian going to do about deeming H.R. 1 passed?

Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at April 01, 2011 12:50 PM (UO6+e)

132 Go vote for the Leftist idiot with the best 'new tone' - Nice Deb's site Left-Wing Institute For Civil Discourse

Posted by: momma at April 01, 2011 12:52 PM (penCf)

133 132, Made me look Dr. Spank, April Fools to me.

Posted by: oldsailor's poet at April 01, 2011 12:55 PM (cDRYC)

134 Now if they would just do the smart thing a start supporting Google Notebook again - all would be well.

Posted by: Jean at April 01, 2011 12:56 PM (WkuV6)

135

My IT nerdie guy at work tried to pull a AFool joke on me today, said I was going to be replaced by a robot. I did the neck snap, glaring eyes at Him, that will take years and then a high priced maintenance man when it breaks. I retire in 5 year, it would be cheaper to keep Me.

He changed the subject.

Posted by: CatLady at April 01, 2011 12:57 PM (CyPWX)

136 I just upgraded from my trusty old Blackberry to a Andriod Atrix phone. Did I just do something stupid?

Posted by: Jean at April 01, 2011 12:57 PM (WkuV6)

137 142, It will take some getting used to. I did the same and I wish I hadn't.

Posted by: oldsailor's poet at April 01, 2011 12:59 PM (cDRYC)

138 Paddlefoot.

If that fucking dog had just held still my show would still be on the air.
Just hold still and move your fucking lips like the rest of us you damn fucking dog!
Oh, no - it always had to jump around and scratch.

It deserved and got the babies' arm holding an apple after I got canceled.

Piece of shit.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at April 01, 2011 01:01 PM (p+mzQ)

139

Would bring a whole new dimension to sexting...

I mean, if it was the 1st of April.

Posted by: Hussein the Plumber at April 01, 2011 01:08 PM (r1h5M)

140 115 Empire of Jeff:

Please do a movie review of HOP. I went to see that stupid Gnomeo and Juliet movie, and when I get home what do I find? Your review of it. Fucker. You should have posted it the day before - because I agreed with everything you said about it.

Now you owe me.

I hate to sit through another looks funny but sucks movie.

Plus, our movie theater is sold out of tickets for all 7 showings of it today.

So, you have the weekend to see it and review it

That is all.

Love, pushy bitch momma

Posted by: momma at April 01, 2011 04:25 PM (penCf)

Momma, PGiS said she was seeing it this weekend so you can probably get a review from her in tonight or tomorrow's ONT.

Just remember though, the cute little bunny is voiced by Russell Brand. So just remember everytime you hear the bunny talk he's being voiced by a pompous British dickbag with girl's hair that wears wardrobe for 14 year old girls and doesn't look like he's bathed in a month.

Posted by: buzzion at April 01, 2011 01:17 PM (oVQFe)

141

Momma, PGiS said she was seeing it this weekend so you can probably get a review from her in tonight or tomorrow's ONT.

Posted by: buzzion at April 01, 2011 05:17 PM (oVQFe)

See, now I have that picture in my head, the entire movie will drive me crazy.

Posted by: momma at April 01, 2011 01:21 PM (penCf)

142 Hey clutz cargo, u like chekcens?

Posted by: CatLady at April 01, 2011 01:37 PM (CyPWX)

143

OK, not sure if anyone has said this yet upthread, but it may be an April Fool's joke from Google, but they stole the idea from Microsoft Research who has been researching using the body to control things on your Windows Desktop for several years (did you think Kinect just leapt fully formed from some gamer's head?)

I'm not joking. And neither was Microsoft with their research. Google is nothing but a bunch of wannabe frat boy assholes.

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at April 01, 2011 01:43 PM (RZ8pf)

144

I hate to sit through another looks funny but sucks movie.

I'll hunt Mama AJ down in another thread and respond there, but in case she comes back to check this thread, Hop was awesome! I was so amazingly pleasantly surprised by it. It's one of those that the jokes work on many levels and my biggest fear was all the good stuff was in the previews, which is totally not true at all. I mean, my God it has David Hasselhoff in it!

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at April 01, 2011 01:45 PM (RZ8pf)

145

@149

Seriously, is it not good for, or over my grandbabies heads? They want to see it. I told them I might take them to see it Sunday.

Posted by: CatLady at April 01, 2011 02:03 PM (CyPWX)

146

Seriously, is it not good for, or over my grandbabies heads? They want to see it. I told them I might take them to see it Sunday.

It is actually fairly clean by today's kid movie standards. Common Sense Media has a pretty accurate rating of it. If your grandkids are over 5 I think they will like it. The factory where they make the Easter candy is reminiscent of Willy Wonka. They don't really tie in Easter to religion at all, which was fine for me because it's really more about the silliness of a rabbit delivering candy at Easter. There's a great bit about China--if you go, stay until the end of the credits for a satisfying conclusion to that.

I guess I had such low expectations of the movie that I relieved it was as good as it was.

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at April 01, 2011 02:15 PM (RZ8pf)

147 148

I'm not joking. And neither was Microsoft with their research. Google is nothing but a bunch of wannabe frat boy assholes.

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at April 01, 2011 05:43 PM (RZ8pf)

Yeah I saw somewhere about using the Kinect to basically do the things Tom Cruise did in Minority report with the holographic screens and manipulating them with his hands. Except he needed special gloves. Using the Kinect wouldn't require that.

Posted by: buzzion at April 01, 2011 02:17 PM (oVQFe)

148

ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at April 01, 2011 06:15 PM (RZ8pf)

Thanks, they are 7 & 4, as long as they are entertained it helps me.

Posted by: CatLady at April 01, 2011 02:34 PM (CyPWX)

149

Wow, OK, well I went to several sites to read reviews of Hop and apparently I am alone in my appreciation of it and also a bad mother.

I am not sure what adults expect in kids movies these days but apparently their bar is a lot higher than mine. And I don't tend to get too offended at the adult jokes because I figure for the younger kids they go over their heads and for the older kids by then they've heard and seen much worse on the Disney Channel.

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at April 01, 2011 02:36 PM (RZ8pf)

150 CatLady, hopefully you'll read my new comment. Go to Common Sense Media so you can be prepared. There is a Playboy Mansion joke, and also a Fatal Attraction reference.

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at April 01, 2011 02:38 PM (RZ8pf)

151

Sorry, I got called away. I will do that. Too many distractions.

Posted by: CatLady at April 01, 2011 03:21 PM (CyPWX)

152

I hate to sit through another looks funny but sucks movie.

I'll hunt Mama AJ down in another thread and respond there, but in case she comes back to check this thread, Hop was awesome! I was so amazingly pleasantly surprised by it. It's one of those that the jokes work on many levels and my biggest fear was all the good stuff was in the previews, which is totally not true at all. I mean, my God it has David Hasselhoff in it!

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at April 01, 2011 05:45 PM (RZ8pf)

I was the one asking about it. Yeah! I'm glad you liked it. I'm also glad there wasn't anything too adultish in it. Thanks for the review!

Posted by: momma at April 01, 2011 03:47 PM (penCf)

153 Sorry for the name confusion momma! I may be immune to more "adult" humor in kids movies these days so I don't want to be responsible for steering you wrong. Check out one of those review sites that tells you the content of the movie before you go to be sure that the adult jokes are within your parameters for OK in a kids movie.

Posted by: ParanoidAnxietyGirlInSeattle at April 01, 2011 04:02 PM (RZ8pf)

154 NFL Hats MLB Hats NBA Hats

Posted by: wholesale hats at April 01, 2011 08:03 PM (pKXtV)

155

I'm really lame at that, huh?

Yes, and so are most people. I knew it was idiotic since I use my laptop in bed and I don't get up for anything but breakfast or a fire alarm.

Posted by: Decaf at April 02, 2011 07:07 AM (3+xlM)

156 I have come here to chew bubblegum and burn Korans... and I am all out of bubblegum.Ã„Ã¾Â²Â¨ÃƒÃ—Ã„ÃˆÂ»Ã©Ã‰Â´Â£Â¬Ã„Ã¾Â²Â¨Â»Ã©Ã‰Â´Â£Â¬Ã„Ã¾Â²Â¨Â»Ã©Ã‰Â´Â³Ã¶Ã—Ã¢Â£Â¬Ã„Ã¾Â²Â¨Â»Ã©Ã‰Â´Â¶Â¨Ã–Ã†

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