Ace of Spades HQ

June 26, 2011

Hobo Port-a-Potty Pervert Speaks
— Ace

Luke Irvin Chrisco, 30, said in a jailhouse interview with the Camera on Friday night that he had trouble meeting people on his travels abroad because of the language barrier.
"I got bored and I guess a little horny," he said from the Eagle County Jail, where he is being held on suspicion of unlawful sexual contact and criminal invasion of privacy.
Chrisco said he was living in the woods in France years ago and some friends went to a recreation center. He said he was wandering around inside the center when he ventured into the girls' locker room and noticed a loose vent, where he decided to hide.
"These chicks started showing up that I never had a chance with," Chrisco said. "But I figured at least I can see them change or something. I've come to know how interesting they are."
The instantly-notorious Port-a-Potty bandit can at least count on one Hollywood producer for support. "I was offered a cameo on a sitcom," Chrisco said. "It was between me and Bill Maher, and Bill Maher just tested 'creepy' with women and couldn't project any kind of charisma."

I may have made that last paragraph up.

A few more bad quotes at Gawker.

Thanks to Maet.

Posted by: Ace at 03:18 PM | Comments (29)
Post contains 216 words, total size 1 kb.

1 So Bill Maher, Anthony Weiner and a hobo go into a porta potty . . .

Posted by: 57 states at June 26, 2011 03:23 PM (sMgrb)

2 I don't think the red pill or the blue pill is gonna help this guy.

Posted by: Barry Obama at June 26, 2011 03:23 PM (izDdO)

3 This is why we can't have nice poop jokes.

Posted by: Truman North at June 26, 2011 03:24 PM (K2wpv)

4 Chrisco said he was living in the woods in France years ago

Sounds normal so far ...

Posted by: Waterhouse at June 26, 2011 03:25 PM (BkcL5)

5 I heard that Amanda Marcotte wants to buy the rights and Debbie 'Skid-Marks' Wasserman-Schultz will star as pooper number three. Spitzer, Weiner, Alpert and Morris all want to be the male lead.

Posted by: the Charlie Daniels of the torque wrench at June 26, 2011 03:25 PM (le5qc)

6 Seems like a normal guy. Except for the laying under a port-a-potty covered in a tarp, that is...

Posted by: joejm65 at June 26, 2011 03:26 PM (UZuc4)

7 ...hiding in a portable toilet at a yoga festival in Boulder

With a first hand look at the results of a high-fiber vegetarian diet.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at June 26, 2011 03:27 PM (EeYDk)

8 I heard that Amanda Marcotte wants to buy the rights and Debbie 'Skid-Marks' Wasserman-Schultz will star as pooper number three. Spitzer, Weiner, Alpert and Morris all want to be the male lead.
Posted by: the Charlie Daniels of the torque wrench at June 26, 2011 07:25 PM

Give me a shot and I'll give you a check for five hundred dollars right now.

Posted by: Bob Beckel at June 26, 2011 03:27 PM (izDdO)

9 I hope the women who crapped on him were all 18 or over. Otherwise, this thread could get ugly...

Posted by: joejm65 at June 26, 2011 03:29 PM (UZuc4)

10
You know that saying I'd eat a mile of her shit just to get where it came from?

Well, kudos to Mr Chrisco for actually walkin' the walk.

Posted by: soothie at June 26, 2011 03:30 PM (Q+bdr)

11
...aaaaaaand thread/

Posted by: soothie at June 26, 2011 03:30 PM (+f7H2)

12 >>>I hope the women who crapped on him were all 18 or over To the best of my knowledge.

Posted by: "Skye" Chrisco at June 26, 2011 03:30 PM (nj1bB)

13 He's just living the dream.

Posted by: Bill Maher at June 26, 2011 03:30 PM (GfhFm)

14 His rights will be protected soon enough.

Posted by: USA at June 26, 2011 03:31 PM (6Cjut)

15 Can anyone explain to me the point of the Onion's editorial cartoon? Is it supposed to be "so stupid it's funny" or what?

Posted by: Truman North at June 26, 2011 03:31 PM (K2wpv)

16
Family members said Chrisco is an "eccentric" person who is misunderstood, and they don't believe he was responsible for the bizarre toilet incident.

Thomas Chrisco, Luke Chrisco's younger brother, who lives in St. Joseph, Mich., said Friday that he doesn't believe his brother was the person hiding inside the toilet. He said his brother has been traveling the country and the world recently and that he's a street artist, painter and musician.

"Luke is an extremely brilliant human being," Thomas Chrisco said. "Through his brilliance, he's also very eccentric, and people misunderstand that sometimes."

He added that his brother is "resistant to the legal structure," but he's also a "kind soul and he loves people."

..."resistant to the legal structure"?

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at June 26, 2011 03:37 PM (EeYDk)

17 And you guys thought I was so bad.

Posted by: A. Weiner at June 26, 2011 03:37 PM (sMgrb)

18 Aww. So what we have here is the heartwarming tale of a lonely hobo's journey of discovery, into the core of the female mystique. And what he discovered is that girls poop too.

Even for Boulder, this is... oh, who am I kidding. I expect he's got an inbox full of loveletters by now. (Yes, Boulder hobos have gmail accounts, which they access through their cell phones.)

Posted by: Zimriel at June 26, 2011 03:46 PM (pl1+G)

19 "The Toilet Hobos" would be an awesome name for a punk band.

Posted by: ol_dirty_/b/tard at June 26, 2011 03:50 PM (oALVx)

My client may have a shitty outlook on the legal structure, but hey who can blame, him he hangs out in portable toilets.

I move for a dismissal.

Posted by: Attorney for the Defense at June 26, 2011 04:01 PM (ZfKm0)

21 ..."resistant to the legal structure"?

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at June 26, 2011 07:37 PM (EeYDk)

It means he's a Democrat. Duh. /

Posted by: joejm65 at June 26, 2011 04:09 PM (UZuc4)

22 Memory is failing me at the moment but someone else was caught doing this at a rest stop a few years back. I think.

Posted by: foguere at June 26, 2011 04:15 PM (B60j2)